The Conners (2018) s03e16 Episode Script

Oh.
Finally found it! What did that take? Like 20 minutes? - Crazy.
- What the hell, Becky? Thanks for watching my station.
I overslept.
This is the second time this week you've been late.
I can't do your job and my job.
When am I gonna find time to fire you? Yeah, sorry.
Why are your eyes all red? You look like hell.
Hey, are you drinking again? Oh, my God.
Just 'cause I told you I had one glass of wine with Mikey, you think I'm drinking again.
These are the red eyes of someone who's working double shifts and her kid won't sleep.
Okay.
I just worry.
Beverly Rose won't go down for me because she just sees this tired, red-eyed stranger where Mommy used to be, but thanks for assuming the worst.
I'm sorry.
In this family, you can bat a pretty good average by assuming the worst.
Oh, and I'm not gonna be able to cover for you next week because I'm taking Molly up on her offer to go to Hawaii.
You're going? - Yeah.
- Wow.
After just three days of gut-wrenching indecision.
Oh, please send pictures of you being miserable on the beach.
I'm done making myself crazy over things like whether I deserve to enjoy myself.
Great.
That'll free up more time for you to be crazy about other stuff.
Uh, Molly must be excited.
Yeah, I don't know.
She hasn't called me back.
I hope she hasn't changed her mind.
Sometimes, people realize that I might not be as much fun as this party package promises.
So, you're gonna go have fun without Ben? Have you told him? Not yet, but he's the one that said we should just be honest with each other when we need something, so he'll be fine.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that always works.
"Just go talk to Crazy Horse, General Custer.
He'll be fine.
" General Custer and Crazy Horse - were never officially dating.
- What's that? Oh, it's from Robin.
"Stop fighting and get back to work.
I can see you on the cameras.
" Hi, Robin! You look pretty today! Hey, Mrs.
Tilden.
Is Molly home? I haven't heard back from her, and I think she's mad at me 'cause I took three days to decide to go to Hawaii.
I know.
Who takes that long to decide to go to Hawaii, huh? This nut.
She's not mad, honey.
Molly passed away last night.
I get it.
She doesn't want me to go now.
All right, well, tell her I'm sorry.
She never told you she was sick, did she? Sick? W-What do you mean? She's been fighting brain cancer for over a year.
That's why she came home.
Yesterday, she had a bad seizure, and they took her to the ICU.
She's gone.
What? Oh, my God.
Um I mean, we were we were just out having fun a few days ago.
I know.
She was trying so hard to outrun this thing, but we've been prepared for this a long time.
Well, is there anything I can do? There is one small thing The family's all coming in tomorrow.
Could you bring back that casserole dish I brought over when your mother died? Oh, my God.
Of course.
Uh, I-I am so embarrassed.
We must not have known it was yours.
It was my grandmother's.
It had "Tilden" written on all four sides.
Oh.
Um, we must have thought that was the manufacturer.
I feel awful.
If we would have known it was yours, we would have brought it back.
I wrote your father five times.
Yeah, he barely knows how to check his e-mail.
I put notes in your mailbox.
Okay, we steal stuff.
Uh, I-I'll go home and look for it, but I may not find it.
We've had a couple yard sales since then.
You sell other people's things? Yeah.
You've been to our house.
Would you pay money for any of that crap? 3x16 - A Fast Car, A Sudden Loss, And A Slow Decline I need a drink.
That was a rough funeral.
44? That's way too young.
I'll have one with you.
Love the sketches.
I'd get a tattoo that says "Eat the rich.
The poor are full of preservatives.
" Really? You guys are gonna come in here and day drink while I'm trying to work? The only time it's appropriate to drink this early is after a funeral.
Fine.
I guess I'll have some.
You didn't go to the funeral.
Well, I didn't know there was an afterparty.
Oh, none for me, thanks.
You know what they say If you have a glass of wine, you're a raging alcoholic.
I wouldn't say raging.
I'd say sloppy and promiscuous.
Well, there's the shoe that fits.
Is it crazy that Molly's death is hitting me this hard? I mean, I hated her when we were kids, and we were only really close for, like, a week.
Yeah, but it was a hell of a week.
She was obviously trying to jam a lot of life into a short time.
That's the only way to live, I tell ya.
You never know what day's gonna be your last.
In my truck-driving days, I made sure to see this country from head to butt-crack.
I had peach pie in Georgia and apple strudel in Washington.
You can get those at the grocery store.
I've lived, man! When I was a cop, I said, "Give me the mean streets, Captain.
I want to experience the danger that makes you appreciate being alive.
" You know the FBI's Most Wanted list? Yeah? I arrested a guy who looked just like one of those guys.
Got my face in the paper for that bust.
Wasn't a good thing, but life is like that.
This whole thing is just so weird.
I think it's hitting me like this because our lives were so similar.
You know, Molly and I both got married too young.
We both stayed in bad relationships too long.
It was like she really got me.
And she was pushing me to get out of my head and go start enjoying my life while I still could.
I don't know how to do that by myself.
Hmm.
You know, Tiffany Schlesser down the street is a 32-year-old grandma who huffs paint.
I bet she'd be your mentor.
You know, I've felt alone all day, and then I sit here, and I talk to you, and I realize how much better that was.
Okay, it's official.
Between taxes and bills, by the time I save enough money to go to school, you and I will be starting college together.
Of course we can share a dorm room, honey.
If Mommy's gettin' some, I'll hang my Life Alert necklace on the door.
Oh.
It's not your fault.
Mommy just can't run hard enough to make this all work.
You know, if you have a God-given talent or a head for business, now would be a good time to show it.
Here's to the graduating class of 2042.
- Hey.
- Hey, Aunt Jackie.
I'm a couple blocks from the house.
See if you can hear this.
Yeah.
What are you doing? Well, my car is in the shop, and I had to get a rental, and they had a family sedan or this eight-cylinder son of a bitch.
I'm trying to live in the moment, so Holy crap.
That sounds like a car that could get out of hand quick.
Come home right now and pick me up! We're gonna cruise Lanford and terrorize pedestrians! Uh, I'll be there in a minute.
First, I gotta smoke this fool.
Whoo! Keys.
What? You trusted me to drive it home from the impound lot.
Why can't I drive it back to the rental place tomorrow? 'Cause the cops took your license, Baby Driver.
And if I didn't have a buddy at the impound lot, you wouldn't have even gotten the car tonight.
No, you just want to drive a really hot car.
You're surprisingly smart for somebody who just went 130 miles an hour! 132, according to the visibly shaken cop.
You've done stuff like this before.
There was nobody on the roads.
And I felt like I was 20 again.
Yeah, I felt younger, too.
And it's not good.
I thought I was done picking you kids up after you'd done something stupid.
You told me that you would give me a ride any time and you wouldn't judge me.
You were 14! That offer expires after you've had your second kid! Hey, can you two please keep it down? I just got Beverly Rose to sleep.
She had a fever of 103.
It's better now after the ibuprofen.
- What? - Oh.
- Where's Becky? - Oh.
Isn't she downstairs? She's passed out with a bottle of vodka next to her bed.
She didn't even hear the baby crying.
Dammit.
God, I feel so stupid.
You know what? I knew she was hungover at work the other day, and I let her talk her way out of it.
I mean, how can she be so irresponsible? You may have to get around on that high horse until you get your license back.
Over 130 miles an hour.
That's incredibly dangerous.
But you're still kind of buzzing from it, right? Yeah.
You know what? You and your sister better get your crap together.
This night could have ended a lot differently, with the baby in the hospital and your car wrapped around a tree.
Shh.
I'm exhausted.
I have a long day tomorrow.
- Would you mind? - Yeah.
I'll keep an eye on the fever.
Oh, do they still do the ice cubes under the armpits thing? I used to love the look of betrayal on your shocked little faces.
So, Molly's mom came by and dropped off this envelope for you.
It's from Molly.
Mm.
What's it say? "Darlene.
Sorry, but it looks like I'm gonna have to bail.
I should have told you I was sick, but the saddest part is that now I'm never gonna get to see your bird-like little body in your baggy, flannel bathing suit.
I just hope that what's in this envelope helps you untangle that dark, twisted abyss you call a soul.
" She really knew you.
Where's Beverly Rose? She's asleep in Dan's room.
We were up all night with her.
She had a fever of 103.
What? Why didn't you wake me up? I tried to.
You were passed out drunk.
No, I wasn't.
I was just exhausted.
Exhausted from the vodka curls you were doing? Oh, what, the bottle on my end table? That was a gift, and I only took one sip.
Oh, well, then some cheap-ass gave you a half bottle of vodka.
Come on, Becky.
Trainwreck recognizes trainwreck.
Unless you always sleep in your clothes with your shoes on.
Okay, trainwreck.
So you've never been so exhausted that you fell asleep in your clothes? Hey, it's okay, Aunt Becky.
You don't need to be embarrassed.
- We all want to help you.
- I don't need your help.
Especially not from a half-assed life coach and a weed dealer.
Okay.
Not true.
- You do if you need weed.
- Come on.
Becky, you have a problem.
The only problem I have is my baby is sick and you are keeping me from taking her to urgent care.
I know you're looking for these, and there's no way in hell you're driving that child anywhere right now.
You fall asleep drunk, you wake up drunk.
Harris, give me the keys to your car.
- I can't do that.
- Yes, you can.
No, I can't.
I gave them to Aunt Jackie because I know you can take me.
Dammit, Jackie, give me the keys! Harris, get out of the room.
Becky don't start none, won't be none.
Aah! Aah! That hurts! That's why it works.
Whoa, whoa.
That's enough, that's enough.
Cool your jets.
Jackie won't let me have the baby because I had a sip a sip of vodka before I went to bed.
It was more than a sip.
And you had a glass of wine the other night.
No one conjured you up, Sabrina! And so what if I did? I can handle it.
Some people can have a problem and then find out they can keep it under control.
I don't think that's the case with you, Becky.
I am one of those people, and I am a great mom! - So back off! - Okay! I wasn't gonna tell you this, but now I'm gonna have to.
When I went downstairs and found you passed out, Beverly Rose had rolled off your bed, and she was stuck between the bed and the wall, and she couldn't breathe! And thank God I went down there when I did.
Oh, my God.
I could've killed her.
Okay, that was a lie.
She was in her crib.
- What?! - But you didn't know that because you were blackout drunk, and maybe next time, you don't put her in the crib, and then something even worse happens.
Geez, Jackie, give me a heads up next time so I don't have a heart attack.
You need to deal with this, Beck.
Okay.
I'll go cold turkey.
I've done it before.
You can't do this by yourself.
You need to go somewhere.
Okay, I'll go.
Now can I see my baby? I'll go get her.
I'll start looking for rehabs.
I don't know how we're going to afford that.
Don't worry.
It won't be nice.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You might want to get Harris a lawyer.
She stole a sports car and left it in your driveway.
Oh.
Yeah, that's my rental.
I can't return it right now 'cause the police have my license.
Let's talk about that later.
Looking forward to it.
Oh.
How you doing? Uh, I-I'm okay now.
I was feeling a little lost before, but then I found out that Molly left me this.
What is it? Two first-class tickets to Hawaii.
We were supposed to go, but then when she realized she wasn't gonna make it, she transferred hers to your name so that you and I could go.
Wait.
You and Molly were going to Hawaii? I know.
Crazy, right? So not me.
You You gotta laugh.
But now she's gone, so it's you and me.
Yeah, wow.
That is just so incredibly generous of her.
Why would she do that? Well, she knew we were having a hard time not living together and everything, and I guess she probably figured a few days in Hawaii would really help us reconnect.
And we're about to get Becky's baby, so we need a babymoon.
You know, when I call you and ask what's going on, you've gotta stop saying, "Nothing much.
" Becky's going to rehab.
Oh, man.
That's tough.
I know.
But we can talk about all this in Hawaii! Look, I would really love to go, but if you've got two first-class tickets, we should be cashing those in, and we should be putting that money to better use.
No.
You know what the best use is? Having fun.
Life is short.
And when are we ever gonna get a chance to do something like this again? If we put that money towards your dad's bills, we could move in together sooner.
I need this.
Hey, we all wanna have fun right now, but, look, I am living in the back of a hardware store, and you're sleeping in your childhood bedroom.
There's just more important things to do here.
More important than what I'm telling you that I need from you right now? It's four days.
It's thousands of dollars that we could really use.
I want to live with you.
That's my priority.
What's yours? You know it's mine, too.
Fine.
I'll sell the tickets.
Hey, look, we'll get there someday.
Hey, but right now, this is the best thing for us.
Mm-hmm.
All right, will you return the car for me, please? Yeah, sure.
Do I have 'til midnight? Yeah.
Just don't drag race any crazy teenagers.
Oh, okay.
Now the license thing makes sense.
Hi.
Um, I'm calling 'cause I'm looking to get a refund on two first-class tickets from Chicago to Hawaii.
Sure.
Uh-huh.
You can put me on hold.
Hm.
Thank you for holding.
I'll just need the ticket number for your refund.
You know what? I changed my mind.
Can you put me back on hold? Certainly.
Ooh.
Wow.
I had no idea how pricy even these cheap rehab places are.
That's 'cause some of them are more like resorts for the rich.
You get to hike.
You get to play tennis.
You know what sounds great after a day like that? A couple beers.
So, have you guys found a place to lock me up? Not yet.
The cheap ones are all booked up.
There's not a bed for 100 miles.
It's not quite rehab, but there's a work camp here, and you come out of it knowing how to fight forest fires.
What about these religious ones? They actually look pretty good.
And some of them have breaks for single moms.
This Jewish one is offering a discount.
Can I say that? Is that offensive? No, no.
All businesses have discounts.
It's not just a Jewish thing.
I can't get into a Jewish rehab.
I got tattoos.
No, that's not rehab.
That's a graveyard.
But how do I even get in? Don't I need someone Jewish to vouch for me? I don't even know if there's a synagogue in Lanford.
I think there's a deli, though.
Oh, is that offensive? It's a delicatessen.
It's a restaurant with food that Jewish people happen to like.
It's not offensive.
It says here they take all denominations.
We can tell them we're a denomination.
What's that one with the snakes? What do you think, Becky? You ready to do this? I say looks like shalom, rehab.
Now, that might be offensive.
We should ask next time we're at the deli.
Like I said, you gotta live every minute like it's your last.
There's no way I'm going to my grave without a tattoo.
I've got some lidocaine.
You want me to use that? No.
I just wish you could do it old school.
You know? Stick and a poke.
BIC pen and a knife.
Okay, maybe just a touch.
Oh, God! That's cold! Oh, my God! What kind of sadist does that to another person?! My God, I can't feel my shoulder!