The Muppet Show (1976) s03e16 Episode Script
Danny Kaye
Danny Kaye, 20 seconds to curtain, Mr.
Kaye.
Now there's a real pro.
Most performers are a nervous wreck before the curtain.
He takes a nap.
Danny? Yeah, yeah, Scooter.
Hi.
- Fifteen seconds to curtain.
Oh, that's fine.
Fifteen seconds until curtain.
Fifteen seconds until curtain? I better get my makeup on.
Fifteen seconds to curtain! # Oh, take me through I wonder if that's how he took his first nap.
It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Danny Kaye! Yeah! # It's time to play the music # It's time to light the light # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight # It's time to put on makeup # It's time to dress up right # It's time to get things started # Why don't you get things started # It's time to get things started # On the most sensational, inspirational Celebrational, Muppetational # This is what we call The Muppet Show # Thank you, thank you.
Hi, there and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
Today we have a sensational show because our special guest star is one of our favorite people, Mr.
Danny Kaye.
But first, would you believe this? # When the moon is in the Seventh House # And Jupiter aligns with Mars # Then peace will guide the planet # And love will fill the stars # This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius # The Age of Aquarius # Aquarius # Aquarius # Let the sun shine # Let the sun shine in # The sun shine in # Let the sun shine - # Let the sun shine - Watch out! # The sun shine in # Let the sun shine I got my hair in my face.
I can't let the sun shine in.
Hey, I can't see nothing.
You know where the barber shop is? Hey, any sign of Statler and Waldorf? No.
It looks like they split for good.
Maybe they didn't like the acoustics.
Can't you hear what's said onstage? - Every word.
What are you doing? - Looking for Statler and Waldorf.
They're missing.
Oh! There they are.
Well, I tell you, it's almost as bad out here as it is inside.
Yes.
Either way we're sitting around looking at garbage.
I'd rather be here for this show.
- Yeah.
The Muppets are always about the same.
But this week's guest star ooh.
What's-his-face Kaye.
- Yeah.
Ew.
I'll tell you, he is the worst performer on earth.
You can't be certain.
- I am, so.
He's not the worst performer on earth.
Well, then who is? Clive Cahuenga, the singing civil servant.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
He is pretty bad.
What an act.
He sings the whole Pest Control Code in the key of F.
Mm.
And he sings it again because he has to do everything in duplicate.
But what's-his-face Kaye is worse.
- Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, yeah.
Wouldn't cross the street to see that guy.
Hi, Danny, how's everything? I-I think I need a little cheering up.
You should have been inside.
Some guy named Clive Cahuenga was knocking 'em dead.
And now, it's lunchtime.
Whoa! Whoa! Every show Statler and Waldorf sit up here.
Show after show after show.
Now I see why.
You see why they come? No, I see why they left.
Rowlfy, Rowlfy, that's too high.
Oh, OK.
Try this one.
# Heaven That's good, Rowlf.
That's very nice.
What key is that? That's the little black one under my finger.
Rowlfy, Rowlfy, we must do this absolutely right.
Mr.
Danny Kaye has asked especially to sing this song avec moi.
- Miss Piggy? Miss Piggy.
Well, well, well.
Hello, there, Piggy.
- Mr.
Kaye.
Can I call you Danny? I couldn't wait to get here to work with you because I have wanted to do this for a very long time.
I wanted to do it with you.
- No, I wanted to do it with you.
Oh, Danny.
- Oh! Tell me - Yes? Why is it that vous wanted to do this particular song avec moi? There's a very good reason for that.
You see, Piggy, dear, I heard you sing this song once before.
Thank you.
Oh, that's nice.
Some time ago I heard you sing this song and I thought the way you did it was absolutely memorable.
That's funny.
I don't remember that.
Oh, well, that was years and years and years ago.
Oh? I think I said something wrong.
What I meant was, way back when you were thin.
I see.
Way back then, huh? When you had your nose done.
Oh, yes, I had it made a little larger.
Listen, are you guys gonna rehearse this song? We're gonna do it.
- Yeah, yeah, all right.
Why don't you practice the song and I'll go and change.
Oh, Daniel dear, yes, a true professional doesn't need to rehearse.
Well, in that case, I shall go and practice changing my clothes.
Stand by for Cheek to Cheek.
Well, yeah.
- Oh, oh, yes.
I'll see you on the - Battlefield.
You're beautiful when you're angry.
Grr! Years and years ago when you were thin, huh? Hi-ya! OK, Cheek to Cheek is up next, Cheek to Cheek.
Beauregard, get the scenery in.
We're on in a minute.
Let's go, Piggy.
I'll be there.
Not so fast.
Whoa, whoa, watch it, Beau.
OK, right on stage with that, guys.
- Yes, sir, yes, sir.
Uh, Nigel.
The scenery's ready.
You guys all set? Uh Now, a timeless romantic duet sung by two dear friends, I dearly hope.
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Piggy and Danny Kaye! # Heaven # I'm in heaven # And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak # And I seem to find the happiness I seek # When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek Oh! I'm so sorry.
Excusez-moi.
Well, that's all right, toi.
I just misjudged the size of your snout.
# I'm in heaven # And the cares that hung around me through the week # Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak # When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek # Oh, I'd love to climb a mountain # And to reach the highest peak # But it doesn't thrill me half as much # As dancing cheek to cheek # Oh, I'd love to go out fishing # In a river or a creek # But I don't enjoy it half as much as dancing cheek to cheek # Dance with me # I want my arms about you - # The charms about you - Let me go.
# Will carry me through # Heaven, I'm in heaven Danny.
# And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak # And I seem to find the happiness I seek # When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek Oh.
# Oh, dance with me # I want my arms about you Piggy, be careful.
- # The charms about you Piggy - # Will carry me through Oh, Piggy.
- # To heaven Oh, Danny.
- Yes? Singing and dancing with vous has taken away all my anger.
That's absolutely true, toi.
And I want you to know, Miss Piggy, I'm terribly sorry that I said that I knew you when you were thin.
Oh, Danny, that's all right.
- Thank you.
I never knew you when you were thin.
# And I # Seem to find # The happiness I seek - # When we're out together - # Out together - # Out together - # Out together # Out together dancing cheek to cheek # One, two, three, four.
Nice and easy.
One, two, three, four.
Oh, it's lovely.
# Jogging # Around the park in the dawn or the dark # Tones you up and leaves you fit # Though it makes you puff and pant a bit # Jogging # Down the street, friendly folk who I meet try to pass the time of day # I can't stop Who wants to, anyway? # Goodbye, those bulges up front and where I sit # My, I'm feeling fit # And I'm wanting to quit But I'm jogging # Feeling great Feel that blood circulate # Fit as a flea Happy to be jogging Wow.
This is doing me a world of good.
I'm really enjoying it.
Hey! Get off of me! Get off me.
Hey, hey, mister.
Call your dog off, will you? I'm trying to get in shape.
You keep ahh! Excuse me.
Sorry.
One, two, three, four in my track suit.
One, two, three, four and galoshes.
# Hello, a pair of eyeballs sparkling and clear # Healthy days are near # I could die right here but I'm jogging # Doing fine, sniffing the airjust like wine # Pardon the cough Gotta be offjogging # It makes you healthy, jogging # So they tell me # Jogging I must be crazy.
Hey, taxi! I'm OK.
OK.
Now, then, Most of you probably didn't know that the Swedish chef had an uncle.
Neither did we until he just showed up.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Swedish chef and his uncle.
Oh, oh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our evening today.
We have this evening an international cooking festival und we will prepare something which my nephew, the Swedish chef, will talk to you in just one minute.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's his name.
But we call him Tom.
That's very good.
All right, now you understand, of course, Tom You understand what we are doing tonight.
We are taking an international dish.
We will take a Swiss turkey, we stuff him with Chinese ingredients, and make a Yugoslavian chicken out of him.
No, no, no.
No Yugoslavian.
Swedish.
- I know you are Swedish.
We are just only talking about the turkey, which we Me not turkey.
- I know you're not a turkey! We are trying to make an international dish, you understand me? Uh no.
Oh.
In that case Oh, yah, yah.
We need a turkey now.
- The turkey.
I get the turkey.
- We will have a turkey.
Go and get the turkey.
What, are you crazy? You're bringing a live turkey here? We're supposed to cook it.
How can you with a live turkey What's the matter with you? This turkey, we can't It's a nice turkey but we can't do it.
First we have to pluck the feathers.
Don't get nervous.
After we pluck all the feathers, then we have to take out from him the gizzards.
After we take the live turkey we will do something with him.
We will open up the turkey and we will stuff him with chop suey.
Oh, yeah, chop turkey.
There goes turkey bird.
Let me have this here.
I will shoot the blunderfuss.
One, two, and a boom.
There we are.
- Oh.
Already prepared to put in your freezer.
OK, well, now, ladies and gentlemen, the Flying Zucchini Brothers will hurl themselves from a height of 200 feet into a water-filled bucket.
Ready? - Yeah, we're ready.
The Flying Zucchinis! Hey, who left my bucket on the floor? Don't move that bucket.
Beauregard! Beauregard! Wow.
Look, there's a bag full of fruits and vegetables up here.
Hmm.
Perchance Statler and Waldorf were thinking of throwing a party.
This much fruit won't go very far.
They only wanted to throw it as far as the stage.
For sure.
Hey, Kermit, how are you? Danny, I'm fine, thank you.
- You're fine, thank you? Are you making fun of the way I talk? No, no, I love the way you talk.
- Oh, OK.
I love the way you talk so much that I begin to talk like you.
That sounds very good.
I was wondering if I could talk you into doing one more song.
You wouldn't have to talk too much.
I'd love to do another song for you.
But I tell you what.
Instead of doing it on the stage, why don't we do it back here? So, it's a song for just friends.
Oh.
Well, yeah, but But what There's nothing on stage.
Why don't we get something on stage? I could go on.
That's Clive Cahuenga, the singing civil servant.
I know, Fozz, I know.
Clive, I've got a job for you.
- Great, but I have to change.
All right.
- Come right this way.
Ladies and gentlemen, for tonight's big finale, The Muppet Show proudly presents Clive Cahuenga, singing to the music of Mozart, the Municipal Vermin Abatement Code.
# Section one, rats # Subheading, infestation # Rodent populations in an urban area # Hey.
- Now, where were we? Where were we, where? You were gonna talk about the song.
- Yeah, yeah.
I've got a great idea, Kermit.
Why don't we do a song we did in the movie called Hans Christian Andersen? It's called Inchworm.
Oh, Inchworm.
We know that song.
- You do? Oh, sure.
- We could all sing it.
Of course.
- Anybody here sing close harmony? Well, no, but a near miss.
- Here we go.
# Two and two are four # Four and four are eight That's pretty.
- # Eight and eight are 16.
- Ah.
Very nice.
- # Sixteen and 16 are 32.
- Very good.
- # Two and two are four - # Inchworm, inchworm - # Four and four are eight - # Measuring the marigoldss - # Eight and eight are 16 - # You and your arithmetic - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # You'll probably go far - # Two and two are four - # Inchworm, inchworm - # Four and four are eight - # Measuring the marigolds - # Eight and eight are 16 - # Seems to me you'd stop and see - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # How beautiful they are Oh, well, look what we have here.
Come on, up on my hand.
Up, up, up, up, up.
Pick your head up and look around.
Way up.
Oh, look, isn't that pretty? # Inchworm, inchworm # Measuring the marigolds # You and your arithmetic # You'll probably go far - # Two and two are four - # Inchworm, inchworm - # Four and four are eight - # Measuring the marigolds - # Eight and eight are 16 - # Seems to me you'd stop and see - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # How beautiful they are # Two and two are four # Four and four are eight Eight and eight are 16 - # Seems to me you'd stop and see - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # How beautiful they are # Seems to me you'd stop and see # How beautiful # They are # I've got to feed the parking meter.
I'll be back in just a few minutes.
Well, I wonder if that Kaye has done his act yet.
Thank goodness we're not there to know.
Imagine, a tuned clam player.
Mm.
I hate that Manny Kaye.
Manny Kaye? Why, it's Danny Kaye.
- Sure.
You're one of our favorites.
- Better than a tuned clam player? Of course.
Now I wish we'd seen the show.
On stage for the closing, Mr.
Kaye.
I'll be right with you.
Don't be late.
We've done it again, folks.
It's been particularly sad to come to the end, because our guest star has been the one and only, Mr.
Danny Kaye.
Yeah! Thank you.
Kermit, do you mind if I bring some friends? What? - Come on in, fellas.
There we go.
Are you kidding? They're part of the family.
Be with us next time when our guest will be one of the best tuned clam players.
Just say good night.
- Ahhh! A clam player! We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! It was great to have you, Danny.
- Oh, thank you.
There was something thrilling about being in the show.
Yep.
Not having to watch it.
Kaye.
Now there's a real pro.
Most performers are a nervous wreck before the curtain.
He takes a nap.
Danny? Yeah, yeah, Scooter.
Hi.
- Fifteen seconds to curtain.
Oh, that's fine.
Fifteen seconds until curtain.
Fifteen seconds until curtain? I better get my makeup on.
Fifteen seconds to curtain! # Oh, take me through I wonder if that's how he took his first nap.
It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Danny Kaye! Yeah! # It's time to play the music # It's time to light the light # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight # It's time to put on makeup # It's time to dress up right # It's time to get things started # Why don't you get things started # It's time to get things started # On the most sensational, inspirational Celebrational, Muppetational # This is what we call The Muppet Show # Thank you, thank you.
Hi, there and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
Today we have a sensational show because our special guest star is one of our favorite people, Mr.
Danny Kaye.
But first, would you believe this? # When the moon is in the Seventh House # And Jupiter aligns with Mars # Then peace will guide the planet # And love will fill the stars # This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius # The Age of Aquarius # Aquarius # Aquarius # Let the sun shine # Let the sun shine in # The sun shine in # Let the sun shine - # Let the sun shine - Watch out! # The sun shine in # Let the sun shine I got my hair in my face.
I can't let the sun shine in.
Hey, I can't see nothing.
You know where the barber shop is? Hey, any sign of Statler and Waldorf? No.
It looks like they split for good.
Maybe they didn't like the acoustics.
Can't you hear what's said onstage? - Every word.
What are you doing? - Looking for Statler and Waldorf.
They're missing.
Oh! There they are.
Well, I tell you, it's almost as bad out here as it is inside.
Yes.
Either way we're sitting around looking at garbage.
I'd rather be here for this show.
- Yeah.
The Muppets are always about the same.
But this week's guest star ooh.
What's-his-face Kaye.
- Yeah.
Ew.
I'll tell you, he is the worst performer on earth.
You can't be certain.
- I am, so.
He's not the worst performer on earth.
Well, then who is? Clive Cahuenga, the singing civil servant.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
He is pretty bad.
What an act.
He sings the whole Pest Control Code in the key of F.
Mm.
And he sings it again because he has to do everything in duplicate.
But what's-his-face Kaye is worse.
- Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, yeah.
Wouldn't cross the street to see that guy.
Hi, Danny, how's everything? I-I think I need a little cheering up.
You should have been inside.
Some guy named Clive Cahuenga was knocking 'em dead.
And now, it's lunchtime.
Whoa! Whoa! Every show Statler and Waldorf sit up here.
Show after show after show.
Now I see why.
You see why they come? No, I see why they left.
Rowlfy, Rowlfy, that's too high.
Oh, OK.
Try this one.
# Heaven That's good, Rowlf.
That's very nice.
What key is that? That's the little black one under my finger.
Rowlfy, Rowlfy, we must do this absolutely right.
Mr.
Danny Kaye has asked especially to sing this song avec moi.
- Miss Piggy? Miss Piggy.
Well, well, well.
Hello, there, Piggy.
- Mr.
Kaye.
Can I call you Danny? I couldn't wait to get here to work with you because I have wanted to do this for a very long time.
I wanted to do it with you.
- No, I wanted to do it with you.
Oh, Danny.
- Oh! Tell me - Yes? Why is it that vous wanted to do this particular song avec moi? There's a very good reason for that.
You see, Piggy, dear, I heard you sing this song once before.
Thank you.
Oh, that's nice.
Some time ago I heard you sing this song and I thought the way you did it was absolutely memorable.
That's funny.
I don't remember that.
Oh, well, that was years and years and years ago.
Oh? I think I said something wrong.
What I meant was, way back when you were thin.
I see.
Way back then, huh? When you had your nose done.
Oh, yes, I had it made a little larger.
Listen, are you guys gonna rehearse this song? We're gonna do it.
- Yeah, yeah, all right.
Why don't you practice the song and I'll go and change.
Oh, Daniel dear, yes, a true professional doesn't need to rehearse.
Well, in that case, I shall go and practice changing my clothes.
Stand by for Cheek to Cheek.
Well, yeah.
- Oh, oh, yes.
I'll see you on the - Battlefield.
You're beautiful when you're angry.
Grr! Years and years ago when you were thin, huh? Hi-ya! OK, Cheek to Cheek is up next, Cheek to Cheek.
Beauregard, get the scenery in.
We're on in a minute.
Let's go, Piggy.
I'll be there.
Not so fast.
Whoa, whoa, watch it, Beau.
OK, right on stage with that, guys.
- Yes, sir, yes, sir.
Uh, Nigel.
The scenery's ready.
You guys all set? Uh Now, a timeless romantic duet sung by two dear friends, I dearly hope.
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Piggy and Danny Kaye! # Heaven # I'm in heaven # And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak # And I seem to find the happiness I seek # When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek Oh! I'm so sorry.
Excusez-moi.
Well, that's all right, toi.
I just misjudged the size of your snout.
# I'm in heaven # And the cares that hung around me through the week # Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak # When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek # Oh, I'd love to climb a mountain # And to reach the highest peak # But it doesn't thrill me half as much # As dancing cheek to cheek # Oh, I'd love to go out fishing # In a river or a creek # But I don't enjoy it half as much as dancing cheek to cheek # Dance with me # I want my arms about you - # The charms about you - Let me go.
# Will carry me through # Heaven, I'm in heaven Danny.
# And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak # And I seem to find the happiness I seek # When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek Oh.
# Oh, dance with me # I want my arms about you Piggy, be careful.
- # The charms about you Piggy - # Will carry me through Oh, Piggy.
- # To heaven Oh, Danny.
- Yes? Singing and dancing with vous has taken away all my anger.
That's absolutely true, toi.
And I want you to know, Miss Piggy, I'm terribly sorry that I said that I knew you when you were thin.
Oh, Danny, that's all right.
- Thank you.
I never knew you when you were thin.
# And I # Seem to find # The happiness I seek - # When we're out together - # Out together - # Out together - # Out together # Out together dancing cheek to cheek # One, two, three, four.
Nice and easy.
One, two, three, four.
Oh, it's lovely.
# Jogging # Around the park in the dawn or the dark # Tones you up and leaves you fit # Though it makes you puff and pant a bit # Jogging # Down the street, friendly folk who I meet try to pass the time of day # I can't stop Who wants to, anyway? # Goodbye, those bulges up front and where I sit # My, I'm feeling fit # And I'm wanting to quit But I'm jogging # Feeling great Feel that blood circulate # Fit as a flea Happy to be jogging Wow.
This is doing me a world of good.
I'm really enjoying it.
Hey! Get off of me! Get off me.
Hey, hey, mister.
Call your dog off, will you? I'm trying to get in shape.
You keep ahh! Excuse me.
Sorry.
One, two, three, four in my track suit.
One, two, three, four and galoshes.
# Hello, a pair of eyeballs sparkling and clear # Healthy days are near # I could die right here but I'm jogging # Doing fine, sniffing the airjust like wine # Pardon the cough Gotta be offjogging # It makes you healthy, jogging # So they tell me # Jogging I must be crazy.
Hey, taxi! I'm OK.
OK.
Now, then, Most of you probably didn't know that the Swedish chef had an uncle.
Neither did we until he just showed up.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Swedish chef and his uncle.
Oh, oh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our evening today.
We have this evening an international cooking festival und we will prepare something which my nephew, the Swedish chef, will talk to you in just one minute.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's his name.
But we call him Tom.
That's very good.
All right, now you understand, of course, Tom You understand what we are doing tonight.
We are taking an international dish.
We will take a Swiss turkey, we stuff him with Chinese ingredients, and make a Yugoslavian chicken out of him.
No, no, no.
No Yugoslavian.
Swedish.
- I know you are Swedish.
We are just only talking about the turkey, which we Me not turkey.
- I know you're not a turkey! We are trying to make an international dish, you understand me? Uh no.
Oh.
In that case Oh, yah, yah.
We need a turkey now.
- The turkey.
I get the turkey.
- We will have a turkey.
Go and get the turkey.
What, are you crazy? You're bringing a live turkey here? We're supposed to cook it.
How can you with a live turkey What's the matter with you? This turkey, we can't It's a nice turkey but we can't do it.
First we have to pluck the feathers.
Don't get nervous.
After we pluck all the feathers, then we have to take out from him the gizzards.
After we take the live turkey we will do something with him.
We will open up the turkey and we will stuff him with chop suey.
Oh, yeah, chop turkey.
There goes turkey bird.
Let me have this here.
I will shoot the blunderfuss.
One, two, and a boom.
There we are.
- Oh.
Already prepared to put in your freezer.
OK, well, now, ladies and gentlemen, the Flying Zucchini Brothers will hurl themselves from a height of 200 feet into a water-filled bucket.
Ready? - Yeah, we're ready.
The Flying Zucchinis! Hey, who left my bucket on the floor? Don't move that bucket.
Beauregard! Beauregard! Wow.
Look, there's a bag full of fruits and vegetables up here.
Hmm.
Perchance Statler and Waldorf were thinking of throwing a party.
This much fruit won't go very far.
They only wanted to throw it as far as the stage.
For sure.
Hey, Kermit, how are you? Danny, I'm fine, thank you.
- You're fine, thank you? Are you making fun of the way I talk? No, no, I love the way you talk.
- Oh, OK.
I love the way you talk so much that I begin to talk like you.
That sounds very good.
I was wondering if I could talk you into doing one more song.
You wouldn't have to talk too much.
I'd love to do another song for you.
But I tell you what.
Instead of doing it on the stage, why don't we do it back here? So, it's a song for just friends.
Oh.
Well, yeah, but But what There's nothing on stage.
Why don't we get something on stage? I could go on.
That's Clive Cahuenga, the singing civil servant.
I know, Fozz, I know.
Clive, I've got a job for you.
- Great, but I have to change.
All right.
- Come right this way.
Ladies and gentlemen, for tonight's big finale, The Muppet Show proudly presents Clive Cahuenga, singing to the music of Mozart, the Municipal Vermin Abatement Code.
# Section one, rats # Subheading, infestation # Rodent populations in an urban area # Hey.
- Now, where were we? Where were we, where? You were gonna talk about the song.
- Yeah, yeah.
I've got a great idea, Kermit.
Why don't we do a song we did in the movie called Hans Christian Andersen? It's called Inchworm.
Oh, Inchworm.
We know that song.
- You do? Oh, sure.
- We could all sing it.
Of course.
- Anybody here sing close harmony? Well, no, but a near miss.
- Here we go.
# Two and two are four # Four and four are eight That's pretty.
- # Eight and eight are 16.
- Ah.
Very nice.
- # Sixteen and 16 are 32.
- Very good.
- # Two and two are four - # Inchworm, inchworm - # Four and four are eight - # Measuring the marigoldss - # Eight and eight are 16 - # You and your arithmetic - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # You'll probably go far - # Two and two are four - # Inchworm, inchworm - # Four and four are eight - # Measuring the marigolds - # Eight and eight are 16 - # Seems to me you'd stop and see - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # How beautiful they are Oh, well, look what we have here.
Come on, up on my hand.
Up, up, up, up, up.
Pick your head up and look around.
Way up.
Oh, look, isn't that pretty? # Inchworm, inchworm # Measuring the marigolds # You and your arithmetic # You'll probably go far - # Two and two are four - # Inchworm, inchworm - # Four and four are eight - # Measuring the marigolds - # Eight and eight are 16 - # Seems to me you'd stop and see - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # How beautiful they are # Two and two are four # Four and four are eight Eight and eight are 16 - # Seems to me you'd stop and see - # Sixteen and 16 are 32 - # How beautiful they are # Seems to me you'd stop and see # How beautiful # They are # I've got to feed the parking meter.
I'll be back in just a few minutes.
Well, I wonder if that Kaye has done his act yet.
Thank goodness we're not there to know.
Imagine, a tuned clam player.
Mm.
I hate that Manny Kaye.
Manny Kaye? Why, it's Danny Kaye.
- Sure.
You're one of our favorites.
- Better than a tuned clam player? Of course.
Now I wish we'd seen the show.
On stage for the closing, Mr.
Kaye.
I'll be right with you.
Don't be late.
We've done it again, folks.
It's been particularly sad to come to the end, because our guest star has been the one and only, Mr.
Danny Kaye.
Yeah! Thank you.
Kermit, do you mind if I bring some friends? What? - Come on in, fellas.
There we go.
Are you kidding? They're part of the family.
Be with us next time when our guest will be one of the best tuned clam players.
Just say good night.
- Ahhh! A clam player! We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! It was great to have you, Danny.
- Oh, thank you.
There was something thrilling about being in the show.
Yep.
Not having to watch it.