The Wonder Years s03e16 Episode Script
The Glee Club
The halls of RFK junior high often echoed with the sounds of music.
The Kennedy Chorale.
The Kennedy Madrigals.
And because Kennedy Now-Tunes They are all part of long standing family of songs.
But, as with every family, there was a skeleton in the closet.
The boys' eigth-grade glee club.
The singing group from hell.
Twice a week, we transformed Mr.
Frace's choir-room into kind of a chamber of musical horrors.
Oh, my gosh.
Randy Mitchell - baritone.
Doug Porter - monotone.
Paul Pfeiffer - no tone at all.
And of course me.
Not that we didn't have heart.
It's just that the thirteen-year-old-male voice isn't exactly Designed for well For singing.
Hold that note.
Hold that note.
We weren't the stuff tabernacle choirs are made of.
So, out of a mutual respect for the arts And humanity We'd reached an agreement.
We wouldn't push Mr.
Frace if he wouldn't push us.
Awright, awright - that's enough! Just, uh get out your books and study.
All in all A pretty equitable arrangement.
It isn't fair.
Every other group gets to sing some songs and stuff - why can't we? Well, maybe because we stink! Then why are we here? Because we have to be here.
Right, Warren? Warren Gander.
No one had ever heard him sing a note, much less say a word.
So, what you're saying is that we're losers.
Is that it? But if Paul was looking to Unite us in chorus He had just heard our best effort.
Face it We knew where we stood.
At the bottom of the heap.
And we were smart enough not to seek the limelight.
Until, that is The limelight was thrust upon us.
There.
That's better, isn't it? Who's she? My name is Miss Haycock And if there's anything I want to impress upon you It's Use your diaphragms.
.
always use.
.
Your diaphragms What she say? Do you hear how that sounds full and supported If you're doing it right You'll feel it down here I'm thrilled to be taking over The eigth-grade boys' glee club And when we sing, we'll always sing like this Because we're always going to remember To use our - Diaphragms.
She was fresh out of teaching-school.
She was full of ideas.
And, oh yes the woman was a total lunatic.
Well, I think she's great.
Paul? Get a grip.
Why? Just because she sang a little? A little? I just hope she doesn't think we're gonna sing like that.
Well, maybe not at first.
But once we master this diaphragm thing Diaphragms or no diaphragms Miss Haycock's arrival had sent a shudder of fear through all of us.
I don't want to sing.
That's why I took glee club in the first place.
Yeah, why do we have to have a student-teacher, anyway.
Relax, guys.
There's nothin' to worry about.
This won't last long.
What do you mean? I mean This is her first job - she has to look like she's trying Mitchell did have a point.
In theory.
Maybe he's right.
Maybe she'll get over it.
Trust me - in a couple of days She'll be acting just like Frace.
Put away your songbooks, we won't need them after all.
And that who's that? We'll need the entire hour for voice auditions.
Who wants to be first? First? Was she joking? Anyone? Only a complete doofus would want to be f- OK, then.
It was time to show Miss Haycock exactly who she was up against.
In other words It was time to sing.
My country 'tis of thee Sweet land of liberty Of thee I sing Land where our fathers died From every mountainside let freedom ring.
There.
We'd laid it out for her.
Clear as a bell.
The folly of it all.
The hopelessness.
The complete - Yes! Yes! That's the kind of passion we all need.
Huh? I found that very moving.
Thank you, Kevin! Sure, any time Atta way, Caruso.
Any time at all.
She made you sing? All of you? That I'd like to see.
She said Kevin had passion.
Really? She made a total fool out of me - so can we just forget it? Well, I think she sounds very sweet.
So do I.
Right gesture wrong shoulder.
Winnie, the woman's a fruitcake, OK? In fact Somebody oughta lock her up! In fact, somebody oughta - Kevin That's not very nice.
Uh-oh.
What if it were me up there standing there, scared out of my wits, teaching my first class? Uh, well Is that how you'd treat me? OK - this was tricky.
Very tricky.
Maybe you should think more about things like that, Kevin.
It was pretty clear I was gonna have to find The moral highground, here.
And fast.
Fwa fwa Fwa to sustain the note we simply let the air flow out gently Now, you try.
Fwa fwa Trouble is, our glee club wasn't exactly built for high ground.
We'd been weened on low expectations.
Why's she doing this to us? Even Warren Gander was showing signs of strain.
Now, men I have a surprise for you.
Great.
What was it gonna be now? Today, we're going to begin our first song! "Stout-hearted Men".
I have copies for all of you.
Alright - that ripped it.
No one, but no one Had ever threatened us with an actual musical arrangement.
And, that's not all We're going to be singing it next month at the Spring Sing concert! What?! I know, I know we don't have much time.
But as I told Mr.
Frace my boys are up to it.
And he agreed! And suddenly it was clear.
Our reputation was on the line, here.
Our tradition.
Our bad name.
Miss Haycock? Yes, Kevin.
Do you really think this is a good idea? Why not? Well I we just think that Kevin What if it were me standing up here? Kevin? You think what? That it would be Fine.
I knew you'd all feel that way! Think of it.
We're starting on A new adventure.
Together.
And so in a flash, our fate was sealed.
The glee club's Miss Haycock's And, of course Mine.
Men, men, men alright basses Over the next few weeks, Miss Haycock struggled to bring out our best.
Now, tenors ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Which, coincidentally, happened to be our worst.
Splendid! Now remember diaphragms.
Diaphragms! Meanwhile, I found myself trapped between raw enthusiasm And outright malice.
Ow! Hey! Nice goin', Arnold.
What's that for? That'd be great Miss Haycock.
We'd love to sing in the Spring Sing.
Come on, I didn't say that.
Well not exactly.
We're gonna look like idiots in front of the whole school Not to mention our parents.
What are we gonna do? Well, for one thing, we're not gonna mention it to our parents.
Deal? There's something else we could do.
We could practice Look, you got us into this, Arnold.
So you gotta get us out.
How? Talk to her.
She's never gonna listen to me.
Why not? You're Mr.
Passion.
You're the only one she will listen to.
Talk to her.
Our lives are depending on it.
Easy for them to say.
But how do you talk to someone Who can't even hear? Excellent.
Excellent! The fact was, even though we sang harmonies That would make Quasimodo wince chords not found in nature Good! Better! Nothing detered Miss Haycock.
With a wisdom born of weeks of experience She pushed on, blindly - no! deafly Toward a goal that was Obviously beyond our grasp.
I know Let's march in place.
Let's try that - come on! We wanted to believe in her But it was pretty clear, sooner or later, someone was gonna have to burst this bubble.
Someone like Pssst! Arnold Huh-hmmm! Me.
It's now or never, Arnold.
Aw, what the heck was I a stout-hearted man? Or a craven coward.
Miss Haycock? Yes, Kevin? We've been Thinking this whole thing over.
And See We don't really wanna be in the Spring Sing.
It's just that we're not any good.
So Maybe we shouldn't do it.
There.
Difficult, of course, but Best for everyone concerned.
You really feel this way? All of you? Yeah I see.
Well I had no idea And there ya had it.
We'd finally gotten through to her.
Miss Haycock was coming to her senses.
She was going to see reason.
She was going To cry Needless to say We handled it With a certain maturity.
Well, what you do that for, Arnold? Me? You told me to! Way to go, Kev.
I can't believe you did that.
You were supposed to talk to her.
Not make her cry.
We had no idea what to do next.
The only thing that could help us now was a miracle.
And then it happened.
Ahhhhhhh It took the tears of a student-teacher to bring a song to The lips of Warren Gander.
Men, men, men, men, men, men Men, men, men Men, men And the rest is history.
Men, men, men Men, men, men Men who will fight for the right they adore Start me with men who are stout-hearted men And we'll soon give you ten thousand more And so began the great glee club comeback of nineteen-seventy.
"Give me some men who are stout hearted men" There were only two weeks left before the big Spring Sing,but during those two weeks "Who will fight for the right they adore" We breathed slept "And we'll soon give you ten thousand more " And ate "Stout-hearted Men".
It became our anthem our battle-cry As we rallied round our secret weapon It was kind of infectious.
"When stout-hearted men " And when the day had finally arrived we had gone from horrible To Men! Magnificent! Well, anyway we were ready.
¢Ý Follow every rainbow ¢Ý ¢Ý Till you find your dreams.
¢Ý I'm not ready for this.
Sure ya are.
No, I'm not.
Oh, come on, Paul - it's just one song.
Or so I kept telling myself.
Look around.
These guys are practically professionals.
People are paying a buck-fifty to see them.
And us.
Uh-oh.
That sneeze was a bad sign.
A very bad sign.
Take a deep breath.
You know how you get once it starts.
It's my nerves.
Come on, Paul - what's there to be nervous about? Remember? We've got Warren.
Here they are! My boys.
Come on, everybody.
Gather 'round.
I brought something for you.
Here.
Pass these out.
Everyone gets one.
Yep Miss Haycock was in her element.
Whatever element that was.
I'm so proud of you all.
Ever since I was a little girl No, jeez, don't tell us this.
We don't wanna I've dreamed of standing up in front of a choir and molding them in song.
Tonight will be my very first time.
And I have you to thank.
My men.
I'll never forget any of you.
The funny thing is, in a way, that turned out to be true.
Alright.
Let's line up We're next! And so, from the murky depths of Mr.
Frace's choir room the eigth-grade boys glee club finally stepped into the light.
Sure, we had misgivings.
But gazing down on Miss Haycock's Confident face I knew we had nothing to fear.
She believed in us.
And, of course, we believed In Warren.
But as I look back on that night It isn't the anticipation I remember best.
And it isn't the faces in the audience Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh What I remember best Is that Warren Gander's voice chose exactly that moment Awwwkk.
To change.
AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAwwwkk.
It was cruel.
Before our very eyes Warren had transformed from lyric tenor To Awwwkk.
Well a bullfrog.
So the rest of us did the only thing we could.
We panicked.
Keep going! Keep going! Men, men, men, men But the die was cast.
Paul sneezed.
Which was too much for Doug.
Somebody laughed.
And I dropped my music.
Keep going! It was kind of a chain reaction.
I'd like to say we rallied But we didn't.
It was no one's fault, really.
I guess we'd just been pushed Beyond our limits.
We we're a bunch of eigth-grade boys.
Not an ensemble of Stout-hearted men.
As for Miss Haycock She'd dreamed of molding us into something we weren't.
But that night She got her wake-up call.
The only problem was she wasn't there to answer it.
We never found out where Miss Haycock disappeared to, although some said she'd gone back to college.
Still, I like to think that - where ever she is there's a warm spot in her heart for the eight-grade boys' glee club.
After all, we'd learned from her, and in a way she'd learned from us.
We'd learned together.
Men! Or so I like to tell myself.
ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
iamy1004
The Kennedy Chorale.
The Kennedy Madrigals.
And because Kennedy Now-Tunes They are all part of long standing family of songs.
But, as with every family, there was a skeleton in the closet.
The boys' eigth-grade glee club.
The singing group from hell.
Twice a week, we transformed Mr.
Frace's choir-room into kind of a chamber of musical horrors.
Oh, my gosh.
Randy Mitchell - baritone.
Doug Porter - monotone.
Paul Pfeiffer - no tone at all.
And of course me.
Not that we didn't have heart.
It's just that the thirteen-year-old-male voice isn't exactly Designed for well For singing.
Hold that note.
Hold that note.
We weren't the stuff tabernacle choirs are made of.
So, out of a mutual respect for the arts And humanity We'd reached an agreement.
We wouldn't push Mr.
Frace if he wouldn't push us.
Awright, awright - that's enough! Just, uh get out your books and study.
All in all A pretty equitable arrangement.
It isn't fair.
Every other group gets to sing some songs and stuff - why can't we? Well, maybe because we stink! Then why are we here? Because we have to be here.
Right, Warren? Warren Gander.
No one had ever heard him sing a note, much less say a word.
So, what you're saying is that we're losers.
Is that it? But if Paul was looking to Unite us in chorus He had just heard our best effort.
Face it We knew where we stood.
At the bottom of the heap.
And we were smart enough not to seek the limelight.
Until, that is The limelight was thrust upon us.
There.
That's better, isn't it? Who's she? My name is Miss Haycock And if there's anything I want to impress upon you It's Use your diaphragms.
.
always use.
.
Your diaphragms What she say? Do you hear how that sounds full and supported If you're doing it right You'll feel it down here I'm thrilled to be taking over The eigth-grade boys' glee club And when we sing, we'll always sing like this Because we're always going to remember To use our - Diaphragms.
She was fresh out of teaching-school.
She was full of ideas.
And, oh yes the woman was a total lunatic.
Well, I think she's great.
Paul? Get a grip.
Why? Just because she sang a little? A little? I just hope she doesn't think we're gonna sing like that.
Well, maybe not at first.
But once we master this diaphragm thing Diaphragms or no diaphragms Miss Haycock's arrival had sent a shudder of fear through all of us.
I don't want to sing.
That's why I took glee club in the first place.
Yeah, why do we have to have a student-teacher, anyway.
Relax, guys.
There's nothin' to worry about.
This won't last long.
What do you mean? I mean This is her first job - she has to look like she's trying Mitchell did have a point.
In theory.
Maybe he's right.
Maybe she'll get over it.
Trust me - in a couple of days She'll be acting just like Frace.
Put away your songbooks, we won't need them after all.
And that who's that? We'll need the entire hour for voice auditions.
Who wants to be first? First? Was she joking? Anyone? Only a complete doofus would want to be f- OK, then.
It was time to show Miss Haycock exactly who she was up against.
In other words It was time to sing.
My country 'tis of thee Sweet land of liberty Of thee I sing Land where our fathers died From every mountainside let freedom ring.
There.
We'd laid it out for her.
Clear as a bell.
The folly of it all.
The hopelessness.
The complete - Yes! Yes! That's the kind of passion we all need.
Huh? I found that very moving.
Thank you, Kevin! Sure, any time Atta way, Caruso.
Any time at all.
She made you sing? All of you? That I'd like to see.
She said Kevin had passion.
Really? She made a total fool out of me - so can we just forget it? Well, I think she sounds very sweet.
So do I.
Right gesture wrong shoulder.
Winnie, the woman's a fruitcake, OK? In fact Somebody oughta lock her up! In fact, somebody oughta - Kevin That's not very nice.
Uh-oh.
What if it were me up there standing there, scared out of my wits, teaching my first class? Uh, well Is that how you'd treat me? OK - this was tricky.
Very tricky.
Maybe you should think more about things like that, Kevin.
It was pretty clear I was gonna have to find The moral highground, here.
And fast.
Fwa fwa Fwa to sustain the note we simply let the air flow out gently Now, you try.
Fwa fwa Trouble is, our glee club wasn't exactly built for high ground.
We'd been weened on low expectations.
Why's she doing this to us? Even Warren Gander was showing signs of strain.
Now, men I have a surprise for you.
Great.
What was it gonna be now? Today, we're going to begin our first song! "Stout-hearted Men".
I have copies for all of you.
Alright - that ripped it.
No one, but no one Had ever threatened us with an actual musical arrangement.
And, that's not all We're going to be singing it next month at the Spring Sing concert! What?! I know, I know we don't have much time.
But as I told Mr.
Frace my boys are up to it.
And he agreed! And suddenly it was clear.
Our reputation was on the line, here.
Our tradition.
Our bad name.
Miss Haycock? Yes, Kevin.
Do you really think this is a good idea? Why not? Well I we just think that Kevin What if it were me standing up here? Kevin? You think what? That it would be Fine.
I knew you'd all feel that way! Think of it.
We're starting on A new adventure.
Together.
And so in a flash, our fate was sealed.
The glee club's Miss Haycock's And, of course Mine.
Men, men, men alright basses Over the next few weeks, Miss Haycock struggled to bring out our best.
Now, tenors ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Which, coincidentally, happened to be our worst.
Splendid! Now remember diaphragms.
Diaphragms! Meanwhile, I found myself trapped between raw enthusiasm And outright malice.
Ow! Hey! Nice goin', Arnold.
What's that for? That'd be great Miss Haycock.
We'd love to sing in the Spring Sing.
Come on, I didn't say that.
Well not exactly.
We're gonna look like idiots in front of the whole school Not to mention our parents.
What are we gonna do? Well, for one thing, we're not gonna mention it to our parents.
Deal? There's something else we could do.
We could practice Look, you got us into this, Arnold.
So you gotta get us out.
How? Talk to her.
She's never gonna listen to me.
Why not? You're Mr.
Passion.
You're the only one she will listen to.
Talk to her.
Our lives are depending on it.
Easy for them to say.
But how do you talk to someone Who can't even hear? Excellent.
Excellent! The fact was, even though we sang harmonies That would make Quasimodo wince chords not found in nature Good! Better! Nothing detered Miss Haycock.
With a wisdom born of weeks of experience She pushed on, blindly - no! deafly Toward a goal that was Obviously beyond our grasp.
I know Let's march in place.
Let's try that - come on! We wanted to believe in her But it was pretty clear, sooner or later, someone was gonna have to burst this bubble.
Someone like Pssst! Arnold Huh-hmmm! Me.
It's now or never, Arnold.
Aw, what the heck was I a stout-hearted man? Or a craven coward.
Miss Haycock? Yes, Kevin? We've been Thinking this whole thing over.
And See We don't really wanna be in the Spring Sing.
It's just that we're not any good.
So Maybe we shouldn't do it.
There.
Difficult, of course, but Best for everyone concerned.
You really feel this way? All of you? Yeah I see.
Well I had no idea And there ya had it.
We'd finally gotten through to her.
Miss Haycock was coming to her senses.
She was going to see reason.
She was going To cry Needless to say We handled it With a certain maturity.
Well, what you do that for, Arnold? Me? You told me to! Way to go, Kev.
I can't believe you did that.
You were supposed to talk to her.
Not make her cry.
We had no idea what to do next.
The only thing that could help us now was a miracle.
And then it happened.
Ahhhhhhh It took the tears of a student-teacher to bring a song to The lips of Warren Gander.
Men, men, men, men, men, men Men, men, men Men, men And the rest is history.
Men, men, men Men, men, men Men who will fight for the right they adore Start me with men who are stout-hearted men And we'll soon give you ten thousand more And so began the great glee club comeback of nineteen-seventy.
"Give me some men who are stout hearted men" There were only two weeks left before the big Spring Sing,but during those two weeks "Who will fight for the right they adore" We breathed slept "And we'll soon give you ten thousand more " And ate "Stout-hearted Men".
It became our anthem our battle-cry As we rallied round our secret weapon It was kind of infectious.
"When stout-hearted men " And when the day had finally arrived we had gone from horrible To Men! Magnificent! Well, anyway we were ready.
¢Ý Follow every rainbow ¢Ý ¢Ý Till you find your dreams.
¢Ý I'm not ready for this.
Sure ya are.
No, I'm not.
Oh, come on, Paul - it's just one song.
Or so I kept telling myself.
Look around.
These guys are practically professionals.
People are paying a buck-fifty to see them.
And us.
Uh-oh.
That sneeze was a bad sign.
A very bad sign.
Take a deep breath.
You know how you get once it starts.
It's my nerves.
Come on, Paul - what's there to be nervous about? Remember? We've got Warren.
Here they are! My boys.
Come on, everybody.
Gather 'round.
I brought something for you.
Here.
Pass these out.
Everyone gets one.
Yep Miss Haycock was in her element.
Whatever element that was.
I'm so proud of you all.
Ever since I was a little girl No, jeez, don't tell us this.
We don't wanna I've dreamed of standing up in front of a choir and molding them in song.
Tonight will be my very first time.
And I have you to thank.
My men.
I'll never forget any of you.
The funny thing is, in a way, that turned out to be true.
Alright.
Let's line up We're next! And so, from the murky depths of Mr.
Frace's choir room the eigth-grade boys glee club finally stepped into the light.
Sure, we had misgivings.
But gazing down on Miss Haycock's Confident face I knew we had nothing to fear.
She believed in us.
And, of course, we believed In Warren.
But as I look back on that night It isn't the anticipation I remember best.
And it isn't the faces in the audience Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh What I remember best Is that Warren Gander's voice chose exactly that moment Awwwkk.
To change.
AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAwwwkk.
It was cruel.
Before our very eyes Warren had transformed from lyric tenor To Awwwkk.
Well a bullfrog.
So the rest of us did the only thing we could.
We panicked.
Keep going! Keep going! Men, men, men, men But the die was cast.
Paul sneezed.
Which was too much for Doug.
Somebody laughed.
And I dropped my music.
Keep going! It was kind of a chain reaction.
I'd like to say we rallied But we didn't.
It was no one's fault, really.
I guess we'd just been pushed Beyond our limits.
We we're a bunch of eigth-grade boys.
Not an ensemble of Stout-hearted men.
As for Miss Haycock She'd dreamed of molding us into something we weren't.
But that night She got her wake-up call.
The only problem was she wasn't there to answer it.
We never found out where Miss Haycock disappeared to, although some said she'd gone back to college.
Still, I like to think that - where ever she is there's a warm spot in her heart for the eight-grade boys' glee club.
After all, we'd learned from her, and in a way she'd learned from us.
We'd learned together.
Men! Or so I like to tell myself.
ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
iamy1004