Wonder Woman (1976) s03e16 Episode Script

- Hey Jim.
- Hey, Eric, how're you doing? This is the woman I've been telling you about.
Wow.
So you're the one that can sing the feathers off a bird.
I'm Kathy Meadows.
Jim Kosub.
Honey, you could smile the feathers off a bird.
Compared to her voice, her looks are quite inconsequential.
This I gotta hear.
Got your background mix? Yeah.
Why don't you lace it up? Kathy, why don't you step out there and let Jim hear what you got? And if everything goes fine, we'll make a cut tomorrow.
Okay? Okay.
I'll try.
She'll try.
Jimbo, she very well could be the lady to put Phoenix Records on the map to stay.
Don't you need to get a level in there? No, we'll catch it as we go along.
You ready, honey? Jim.
Use your headset, so we can talk? No problem.
Real good voice.
Too bad she had the misfortune of signing with your company.
After all, $1 million is nothing compared to what you stand to make off Farewell to the Master.
Billy Dero's disappearance was the best thing that could've happened.
As far as the sales of his last album are concerned, right? Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I know all of that.
Just $1 million, Mr.
Landau.
The master tape is yours once more.
I haven't gone to the cops, have I? - I intend to pay.
- When? I don't know, I'll have to get a loan from a bank.
Maybe a week from now.
- Make it two days.
- Two days? That's impossible! Nothing is impossible, Mr.
Landau.
Twenty years ago, putting a man on the moon that was considered impossible.
Don't set your sights so low.
Be bold, imaginative.
We have faith in you.
If you don't get the money up in two days you don't get back the tape you paid $100,000 for.
And then your whole company will go down the tubes.
Won't it? Extortion makes strange bedfellows, Steve.
It looks like the trail we picked up in the aerospace industry is going to end up in the music industry.
So, you think Kobler's extorting Phoenix Records? I have a pretty good hunch.
About six weeks ago a pop music star named Billy Dero set sail for Catalina and was never seen again.
- Yeah, I heard about that.
- Well, apparently Phoenix Records paid a small fortune to acquire the rights to the last songs Billy ever recorded.
They were going to compile and market a memorial album called Farewell to the Master.
Seems I've heard something about that, too.
Judging from the bits and pieces I've overheard chances are the master tape for that album has been stolen.
- And being held for ransom by Kobler.
- Right.
You see, without that master tape Phoenix can't press any discs.
Eric Landau stands to lose his company if he doesn't get that tape back.
Which means he's more than willing to go along with Kobler's demands.
Looks like what we've heard through the grapevine has been 100% correct.
Let's just hope we can make it pay off.
I think a Kobler employee just made contact with Eric.
I fully intend to be around if, and when, Eric drops the ransom.
With any luck, this will be Kobler's last scam.
Good.
How are you doing? Were those strings I pulled to get you that audition good enough? Everything's just fine.
Kathy Meadows starts cutting a demo tomorrow.
I just can't get over the fact that you can sing so well.
There are quite a few things you don't know about me, Steve.
That's probably true.
Anyway, the LA field office is still trying to locate Kobler's base of operations out there.
They'll let you know if they find anything.
Just how much trouble is the Senator giving us? Maybe he's forgotten how much trouble those photographs can make for him.
Perhaps, if we leaked one of them to the press No, not that one.
We don't want to ruin his career just give it a little jolt.
Yeah, that one will do.
That'll do.
Get on it, Greg.
Okay.
Well, Martin, what did Mr.
Landau have to say? He wanted a week to get the million together.
Out of the question.
The longer these things drag out, the riskier they become.
I know.
I told him two days.
He didn't like that at all.
I wouldn't want him to overreact and do something rash.
He probably needs a reminder that doing things my way is best for his health.
Could you meet with him again this afternoon? There's a press party going on, but no problem.
I like crowds.
Go remind Mr.
Landau where his priorities lie for the next 48 hours.
Take the tape with you.
Just the first song.
Yes, ma'am.
Just relax, smile, and answer their questions honestly.
Reporters recognize a fledgling superstar when they see one.
Oh, Eric Just wait till you cut your first album.
I'm telling you, you got a heck of a future in this business.
You're dynamite.
That's my personal as well as my professional opinion.
- That's Jeff and Barbi Gordon, right? - That's right.
Jeff, Barbi.
I'd like for you to meet Kathy Meadows.
- Nice to meet you, Kathy.
- Nice to meet you.
Eric speaks very highly of you.
Are you two leaving? We were just getting some fresh air.
That room upstairs was getting so stuffy our throats were getting scratchy.
Weren't they, Jeff? Oh, yeah.
A little.
So this is your first press party, is it? Yes.
I guess I'm just green enough to be excited about it all.
Of course.
After a while, though, the charm of these affairs wears thin.
If it weren't absolutely necessary to make an appearance now and then we'd never attend these things.
- Isn't that right, Jeff? - Oh, yeah.
These so-called singers and their immoral music I tell you, there are days I look to heaven and ask whatever happened to Engelbert Humperdinck? - Don't I, Jeff? - Yeah, a couple of times- Call me old-fashioned, but we work hard.
- That's Antimatter.
- It certainly is.
I'd like for you to meet Kathy Meadows.
- Kathy, this is Anton - Charmed.
and Kim, and, of course, Jerry.
And you do know Jeff and Barbi Gordon? Oh, I have all your records! I think your music is just wonderful! You guys ever thought about doing milk commercials? Honey, every time you sing, I just melt.
That's just what I was talking about! They probably call themselves Antimatter because if they came into contact with anything normal or decent they'd blow up! Not that I mind you handling them, Eric It's just that sometimes he tends to focus on them to the exclusion of his more moderate, ultimately more popular artists.
Excuse me, I have some business to take care of.
- Kathy, I'll see you a little later, okay? - Sure.
I guess I'd better be going, too.
It was nice to meet you.
- I'm sure we'll see each other.
- Nice to meet you.
What are you looking at? She's a very attractive woman, Barbi.
Lord knows what kind of songs she does.
Who cares? This is your office, Mr.
Landau.
Please come in.
What are you doing back here? My superiors feel you need some encouragement when it comes to meeting your two-day deadline.
Recognize this? Yeah, it's the master tape.
In fact, this envelope holds the first song from the master.
Now, watch carefully.
Get the picture? We burn a song a day till you hand over the money.
If you don't hurry, you won't have enough left for a memorial single.
Good day, Mr.
Landau.
What're you doing here? Well, you left so quickly.
You seemed upset.
I was worried.
So I went to your office and I'm afraid I overheard.
Then you know everything.
Everything.
You're being blackmailed.
The proper term is "extorted.
" What are you going to do? Pay the ransom.
I can get a bank loan if I put up my shares of Phoenix as collateral.
If word of that ever gets out investors will start deserting like rats aboard the SS Poseidon.
I'm taking an awful big chance.
I'm sorry, Eric.
I hope everything works out.
I really do.
You're a very special person, Kathy.
- Maybe when all of this is over- - Eric.
I like you, I really do.
But, you, my career, it's all been kind of sudden.
- You understand, right? - No.
But then what else is new? Come on.
Let's go down to the party.
Kim, will you stop playing around with those tapes and tell us why you brought us here at this ungodly hour? What's the point of being young, famous, and immensely talented if you can't sleep till 12:00 noon? Can he even hear us? I can hear you.
Then what's this all about? What is that? A take from Farewell to the Master.
It's one they decided not to use.
Eric asked me to come down here and remix it for some reason and I got to fooling around a little, and I came up with this.
I repeat.
What is it? It's a 33 cut played at about half speed.
So? So listen.
Someone get me out, it's so cold Now, I'll slow it down even more.
Someone take the pennies off of Billy's eyes.
That's Billy's voice.
Someone pry the coffin lid loose.
Someone get me out, it's so cold and so damp.
Can anybody hear me at all? That track was cut at so slow a speed that when the record's played at 33 rpms it sounds like so much background noise.
When you slow it down, though, you get that.
Someone take the pennies off ofBilly's eyes.
Someone pry the coffin lid loose.
Oh, no.
I ain't going for this.
I went for it with the Beatles and Revolution 9 playing that backwards, but I ain't gonna go for this.
Shut up, Jerry.
"Turn me on, dead man.
" You think Billy recorded that before he disappeared? He had to.
He produced his own albums.
It's part of his contract.
You think Billy is still alive? Yeah, and living with Paul McCartney? Jerry, knock it off! Suppose he knew he was gonna disappear maybe he planted those tracks as clues? Maybe it was just a twisted publicity gimmick.
You know Billy would do anything for a couple of lines in the paper.
Maybe.
It's worth checking out, either way.
Keep playing with the dials, see what other goodies you come up with.
Wait a minute.
How come we become the Columbos all of a sudden? Billy Dero is this company's biggest asset.
Without him, Phoenix could go down the tubes.
And without Phoenix, the three of us could go down the tubes.
Don't forget how Eric picked us up when no one would take a chance on us.
Yes, I've got the money.
Whatever you do, don't burn another song! Right, 5:00 p.
m.
Mulholland and Sepulveda, in Sherman Oaks.
I know the area.
I'll be there.
Yes, alone! Fine.
Good-bye.
All set.
He's got the money.
I hope we can believe him.
You can.
I broke into his office.
I made a copy of the bank draft.
He did it, all right.
He got a personal loan with his majority share of Phoenix as collateral.
You show quite a talent for theft, Ms.
Gordon.
You might consider taking it up as a profession.
All we want is our 10% for stealing that tape.
Five percent was the agreed-upon price.
She's right, Barbi.
I decided 5% wasn't adequate compensation for the risks we're taking.
Ten percent is more like it.
I'd certainly hate to discourage the potential you show, Ms.
Gordon.
Seven percent.
Take it or leave it.
We'll take it.
An album cover.
So what? So, look at the way Billy's finger is pointing.
He's pointing to Santa Claus.
So what? Look what's written above the Santa Claus.
"What's My Monicker, Veronica "? For crying out loud.
What's a "monicker"? "Monicker" is '40s street slang for "name.
" - Come on, guys.
You still don't get it? - Get what? Santa, Monicker.
Oh, that's terrible.
I mean, that is really terrible.
Billy had a cabin in the Santa Monica mountains, didn't he? Yeah, years ago! Nobody's been there in so long, it's boarded up.
Yeah, but what better place to, like, "disappear" for a few weeks? Eric.
I That's for the blackmailer, isn't it? I don't have any choice, Kathy.
- I wish I did.
- Eric.
I didn't have any choice either.
Right, 5:00 p.
m.
Mulholland and Sepulveda, in Sherman Oaks.
I know the area.
Hey, man, this place looks like a tomb.
- Shall we take a look? - All in favor? Aye.
You scared me half to death.
What are you all doing here, fellas? Howdy to you.
It's great to see you! Well, it's been great to see you.
You little toad! You've been hiding out here for six weeks? I was planning on coming out of seclusion real soon, fellas.
Like after your memorial album sold triple platinum? Heck, I never could put anything over on you guys, could I? You mean to tell me you faked your own death just to sell some albums? Think for a second, Jer.
There's nothing quite so saleable as a dead rock star.
Little Billy here would have cleaned up on royalties.
He would've made millions off a lie! Now don't judge me too harshly, fellas.
You and I know my career was slipping a little.
I figured being dead would liven it up a little.
What about those dumb clues you put on your album that caused us to come here in the first place? I just wanted to create a little groundswell of interest among the fans so when I finally did come back, it would be dramatic.
If it worked for the Beatles, it would probably work for me.
I suppose you didn't give a thought as to what your stunt might do to Phoenix? Pushing a borderline company into bankruptcy! I got news for you, Billy.
Your resurrection is gonna occur ahead of schedule.
Just hold on a second, fellas.
Give me a couple of weeks.
I mean, give them time to release the album, for Pete's sake.
No way, José.
Billy Dero? It's a long story.
Where's Eric? That's another long story.
I'll explain on the way to Sherman Oaks.
You guys have got to help me.
We've got to get to Eric before he bankrupts himself by paying a ransom of $1 million that he doesn't need to pay.
Afternoon, Mr.
Landau.
I think we can dispose of this business in a matter of minutes.
Just a second.
How do I know that tape's the real thing? Those could be the greatest hits of Connie Francis for all I know.
I was prepared for that question.
Let me hook up the recorder.
- Hey, man.
- Billy! I thought you were dead.
I know, there's a lot I have to explain.
Come on.
Let's go.
Go! Move it! - It's Wonder Woman.
- She's flying.
You're okay now.
Yeah.
What did that toad-burger do to me? Hey, Kim! Listen, I want you to stay put right here.
Sure.
Promise.
Scout's honor.
Hey, Kim, how're you doing? Man, that was either the bravest or the dumbest thing I ever seen.
I'm taking odds on dumb.
You beautiful jerk! Are you okay? You tell me.
What happened to Wonder Woman? I guess she left.
Low-profile kind of lady - but she is definitely cool.
- Oh, hey, speaking of ladies where's Kathy? Yeah.
Last time I saw her she was outside the van! You guys left her back there.
Wonderful.
Simply wonderful.
Not only did you botch the pick-up but now, with Billy Dero miraculously alive once more do you know how much this is worth? Nothing! All Landau has to do is have Dero re-record it! We couldn't trade it in for a crummy John Travolta poster! Not necessarily.
There is one way to restore the value of that tape.
It was worth so much before because it was a memorial album.
Right? All we have to do is make it a memorial album all over again.
Wait a minute.
What are you talking about? You're suggesting we kill him? Happens all the time in this business, Jeffrey.
- Your option just doesn't get picked up - I like it.
It's simple, to the point.
It may work.
Are you joking? We're talking about murder.
Don't be a fool, Jeffrey.
We're in this too deep.
- We have no alternative.
- No! Listen, there's got to be a better way! I mean, what's the sense in killing him just so your tape will be worth something? Why hold the tape for ransom, when you can hold Billy for ransom? That is an extraordinarily good idea, Jeff.
With Billy and the tape in our possession we'd have Phoenix completely at our mercy.
Yes.
That's a very good idea.
And since it was your concept and since you two are the only ones who can get close enough to Mr.
Dero to abduct him, the job is yours.
Come on.
The field office ran a check on the car Kobler's man left behind I'm afraid they came up with a big, fat zero.
The car was stolen out of a garage in Van Nuys two weeks ago.
That does it for us.
She's probably halfway to Mexico by now.
I'm gonna stick around for a couple of days to make sure.
Anyway, I've another record to cut before I can break my trial contract with Phoenix.
Unless I care to blow my cover by being sued.
Your cover's still holding up well? Maybe a little too well.
I think Eric Landau is developing an unexpected interest in me.
In Kathy Meadows, I should say.
Come on, Diana.
You've handled spies, kidnappers, and assassins.
One amorous record executive shouldn't be too difficult.
I don't know, Steve.
When I leave, I'm gonna have to tell him who I am.
I'm afraid he's going to feel really used.
Manipulated.
I wish I didn't have to hurt him that way.
I'm afraid what you're talking about comes with the territory, Diana.
I know.
Pretty lousy territory, isn't it? I suppose there are better ones.
Listen, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Right.
Billy, I'm willing to forgive and forget.
Sure, you tried to gyp the company out of $500,000.
- Oh, man.
- Look, you almost bankrupted us! Totally unintentional.
What we gotta do now is how to reveal your appearance to the public so that we both don't get get arrested for fraudulent advertising.
I don't see that as any kind of problem.
All we have to do is market the thing as a return appearance.
All we have to do is call it Return of the Master.
I mean, hell, that's simple sales.
How are we gonna reveal Return when the disappearance was fake to begin with! No, what we gotta do is we gotta go public with this whole sleazy story.
Go public? You're gonna tell the world about this? I'm gonna look like a fool! If it's any consolation to you, Billy I'm not gonna come out looking like Boy Wonder, myself.
I want you to get into Studio B.
I want you to re-cut that album all over again.
Antimatter is gonna be your engineers.
You dig me, compadre? Yeah, I got you.
You got it.
They'll be recording in there.
We'll bring him down in 10 minutes.
Right.
Barbi, I'm scared.
Will you stop sniveling! Here's your mask.
You sure nobody's gonna get hurt? The feedback is just gonna distract them, Jeffrey.
No one's going to get killed.
Have you got your earplugs? Let's go, then.
Do we have mice in the studio here? - I think it's feedback.
Kim? - Probably.
It's coming through these speakers.
You're gonna have to turn it off in there.
Would you see what that noise is before it drives us all crazy? Right.
You got it.
Stop this! What're you doing? What's going on here? What are you doing? No! What's going on here? They've got Billy.
Marty, watch out! Oh, no! It's a pleasure seeing you again, too.
Who was in the car with Billy? Jeff and Barbi Gordon.
- Where were they taking him? - Their house, Beverly Hills.
Good.
One more thing.
Where's your boss? Ms.
Kobler? An estate, in Malibu, I want you guys to call the police and have them take care of our friend here and then have them pick up a woman named Kobler at 1619 Pacific Coast Highway.
- I'm going after Jeff and Barbi.
- Jeff and Barbi! It was the Bobbsey twins that did this to us? If you want money? I've got money.
Fame? I got that, too.
There must be a way we can figure out to share this.
Isn't anyone interested in show business? Come on, guys, give me a break.
Don't kill me now.
Now, stay calm, Barbi.
Wonder Woman's undoubtedly coming after me first.
And we'll be out of here in three minutes flat.
No.
Now, stay where you are.
We'll come by, pick you up.
We'll all be on the plane to Rio by midnight.
She won't.
It's me she's after.
Trust me.
You sure Wonder Woman is on her way here? Of course not.
She's on her way to rescue Billy Dero.
From what I've heard about her, she values human life above all else.
By the time she captures our erstwhile conspirators, we're gonna be long gone.
Look, I want this place torn up, fast.
We're gonna make a small bonfire here, shortly.
I locked him in the tool shed.
What now? Kobler's picking us up and getting us all out of this mess.
If you hadn't insisted on kidnapping Billy, this never would have happened! Only because it was either that or kill him.
Never mind.
It'll all be over very shortly now.
Freeze! Call the cops.
Help! Somebody! I'm in here! Kobler lied! She's come for us first.
Arnold! Herman! Get out here! Get her! You guys really don't want to try that, do you? Those weak-kneed excuses for bodyguards! - What are they doing? - Treading water, mostly.
We better get out of town.
Let's go.
Is anybody out there? Help me! Hello, Billy.
Bye, Billy.
Hey! Don't I get a kiss? A silver bullet or something? I'm going after Jeff and Barbi.
Hey! Wait a second! Kathy, Jim tells me you're planning to leave after you cut this next song.
That's right.
You see, my trial contract will be over then and I have to leave.
And go back East.
But why? You've got a great future in this business.
Now that this extortion thing is over I was kind of hoping that maybe we could see more of each other.
I've got something to tell you.
My name is not Kathy Meadows.
It's Diana Prince.
I'm an agent with the IADC.
I came here and posed as a singer to find and capture Adelle Kobler.
And now that I've accomplished that, I have to leave.
Why didn't you tell me? I was undercover.
I couldn't tell you.
I couldn't tell anybody.
Right, so I was just part of your assignment.
That's all I was to you.
If I try to tell you differently, you won't believe me.
That's right, lady.
Ready, Kathy? Sure.
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