Xena: Warrior Princess s03e16 Episode Script

[ Shouting .]
Aaah! [ Shouting, Grunting .]
Aaah! [ Yelling .]
Hyah! Yaaah! Get up! Regroup! Get reinforcements! Get up! They're regrouping.
Vercinix, the Romans have attacked the pass.
We can hold them, but-- How long? Not long.
Long enough to get everyone out, most everyone.
Clear the village.
Take to the northern hills and regroup! The Gauls will not be defeated! [ Cheering .]
No! Mendala, you go with them.
But-- They need you.
Someone has to lead, and someone has to stay here.
Now go.
Get our children to safety.
I love you.
Come on.
We'll wait for your father in the hills.
Let's go.
[ Grunts .]
[ Groaning .]
Shields! Gauls! [ Man .]
For the glory of Rome! Attack! [ Grunting .]
[ Man .]
He got Vercinix! [ Grunting .]
Hyah! Hyah! Step aside! Take off the net! [ Grunting .]
[ Man .]
It's Caesar! [ Grunting .]
So, the legend is lacking.
Not quite the god the stories made you out to be.
Mortals can be conquered, Caesar, but you'll never conquer Gaul! - My people -- - Your people mean nothing to me.
I only want you, Vercinix.
Because with you, I'm going to secure an empire.
[ Snickering .]
[ Man .]
Syria will bring these Roman dogs to heel, one dog at a time! Him! [ Grunts .]
[ Xena Kiaiing .]
[ Grunts .]
[ Grunting .]
[ Kiaiing .]
- Xena! - Hello, Crassus! How's your backside, huh? Hyah! Argo! Hyah! Aaah! [ Groaning .]
Xena, the captain said he'd hold the boat, but he won't hold it for long.
Suits me.
One of those armies will be coming up this trail any minute.
All right.
Come on! [ Groaning .]
Oh, Xena.
I'm reluctant to thank you for saving me.
After all, last time I saw you, you swore you'd kill me on sight.
That was before you became useful.
Crassus, member of the triumvirate of Imperial Rome, useful to Xena? I'm gonna trade you for Vercinix.
Vercinix-- He was captured by Caesar.
You're going up against Caesar.
I have to admit.
I wouldn't want to miss this for the world.
Oh, I guarantee.
You're gonna get a front-row seat.
[ Man Narrating .]
In a time of ancient gods -- [ Xena Yells .]
warlords and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena, a mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power.
The passion.
-The danger.
- [ Kiaiing .]
Her courage will change the world.
dddd [ Woman Vocalizing .]
dddd [ Continues .]
We'll be pulling into port soon.
Here.
Hope you like gruel.
I know it's not what the Roman elite are used to eating, but-- You hate me too.
Why? You're a friend of Caesar's.
I'm not his friend.
I'm a convenience, just as he is to me, as Pompey is.
The triumvirate is not an easy alliance.
Triumvirate? What is that? [ Xena .]
Three warlord rulers instead of one.
Warlords-- far from it.
It's politics.
- It's all about-- - Power, nothing more.
Caesar, Pompey and Crassus share control of Rome and its provinces.
Each serves to balance the other.
They hate each other, but they can't live without each other.
Yes, Xena, it is about power.
The appearance of it, the possession of it, the wielding of it.
You're quite familiar with that, aren't you? The imperial ring of Rome.
[ Groans .]
And a thief.
I'm impressed.
I need to prove to Caesar that I have you.
That way I can make the deal for Vercinix.
Do you think Caesar would release a man with the reputation of Vercinix? His capture is a source of power, as will be his execution.
Not anymore.
Caesar needs you.
He's cultivated quite a following at home, but at a cost.
You still have an army in the field, and he needs that.
This isn't about Vercinix, is it? - Go on.
Tell us.
- Assassination-- Caesar's blood on your blade.
This is your way of getting to him.
- You're wrong.
- Am I? Have you ever seen Xena around him? Her judgment gets a little impaired, and others suffer.
Well, I'm over that.
Take him below, only be careful.
He's smart.
I want control of the aqueduct! Out of the question, Pompey.
You ask too much.
Do I? You've got no choice.
With Crassus dead, I can take what I want.
Do, and you'll get a civil war.
The people are with me, Pompey.
It's spectacle.
That's what they want, that's what I give them.
Oh, yes, the people.
[ Scoffs .]
An army of citizens up against the hardened legions of Pompey the Magnus.
Oh, what a battle that'd be.
Very well.
You may have your aqueduct.
But there's a vote coming up in the Senate.
- I need your support.
- Caesar! There's someone here to see you.
To be honest, we couldn't keep her out.
She's unarmed, but she-- She? Xena -- This is impossible.
[ Men Grunting .]
How can you-- This is Rome.
You can't-- - You -- - There's a sentence in there just dyin' to get out.
[ Chuckling .]
Sorry about your soldiers.
We were playing tag in the forum, and I gotta tell you, they don't lose well.
- This is Xena.
- Yes.
Uh, an old friend-- enemy, friend.
I forget where we left off.
We weren't on speaking terms.
- Pompey, if you'll excuse us, please.
- I don't think so.
Besides, if this concerns Rome, it concerns me.
And who are you? Pompey the Magnus.
- "Magnus"? - Short for magnificent.
A deserved title as Caesar knows.
And you had something to tell us.
- Oh.
Crassus.
- Crassus is dead.
The Parthians.
Crassus has an army.
He's got money.
And I got him.
I see.
And you're just going to hand him over to me? As soon as you give me Vercinix.
Vercinix? That's no small request.
His capture means a lot to my people.
I'll send over the finger that this belongs on tomorrow.
And after that, I'll be more creative.
How do I know Crassus hasn't been killed? I'll take you to him.
How do I know I won't be killed? I'll stay here in your place.
She won't hurt you as long as they have me.
[ Men Chattering .]
Caesar.
I knew you'd come.
Really? I don't know why I bothered.
I thought you were a capable ally, a good balance against Pompey.
But look at you -- captured and chained by a woman that I captured and chained.
I don't know.
Don't even go there.
You need me.
We both know it.
Now make the trade, and let's get out of here.
You're right.
Pompey has become a little difficult since word of your death.
Unfortunately, the trade can't happen immediately.
I've already planned a little party for this evening, to show off Vercinix.
I'd like you to accompany me, without your weapons, of course.
Whatever it takes.
Let's just get this over with.
Divide and conquer, Crassus.
Her friend is the key.
Hmm? I'll come back to the boat when I'm done scouting around.
When this starts to move, it's gonna move fast.
And that's assuming that I can get Crassus into the cell? You have to do it.
Caesar is not going through with this trade.
That's why we have to make the switch with Vercinix.
By the time he discovers that it's Crassus in the cell, it'll be too late.
And that's the plan? Right? The whole plan? What are you getting at? Look, I know you want Vercinix out.
But I want to make sure there's not another part of this plan that you're not telling me.
You know, like-- Like assassinating Caesar.
Yeah, like that.
Gabrielle, this is no time for you to have a crisis of faith.
You have got to trust me.
I am not going to give in to that.
If this works out, the only one in danger is Crassus.
Crassus? You don't mean he might be killed, do you? That's up to Caesar.
Crassus is not my concern.
Freeing Vercinix is.
Yeah, but if Caesar kills Crassus, and I put him there-- Xena -- [ Sighs .]
I cannot send a man to his death.
A man -- Crassus stopped being a man a long time ago.
The village of Gardenis was his crowning achievement.
It surrendered to him without a fight.
He then crucified over 100 men, women and children along the Appian Way.
[ Argo Whinnying .]
It doesn't matter.
Caesar's the one who makes the decision.
Crassus is valuable to him.
Good luck.
[ Neighs .]
[ Chattering .]
Brutus, you were with Caesar when he met Xena.
Is she to be trusted? No.
Except in her hatred of Caesar.
dddd [ Fanfare .]
[ Applause .]
I was going to present Vercinix first, but I didn't want anything spoiling your entrance.
Why bring him in at all when you're going to free him? I'll handle that.
Vercinix has become quite an issue with my people.
He defeated four Roman legions before I brought him to heel.
Excuse me.
So, why do they call you the "Warrior Princess"? Because "Caesar" was taken.
I like you.
[ Clears Throat .]
Don't.
I'm not a likeable person.
Neither am I.
But even common enemies can make friends overnight.
Common enemies? Anyone in particular? Don't assume all of Rome loves Caesar.
These people are impressed with his victory over Vercinix.
But there are those that wouldn't cry over Caesar's death.
Citizens of Rome, I present to you the prize that has eluded all, all except the great Julius Caesar! The barbarian, Vercinix.
[ Applause .]
[ Guard .]
Come on, you dog.
Descended from a line of great warriors, master of Gaul, a legend like no other.
I give to you Vercinix the Magnus.
Hmm.
[ Grunts .]
[ Grunting .]
When'd she say she'd be back? When she's ready to come back.
Does she often leave you in the dark with her plans? No.
But she has done it, hasn't she? I understand.
You forget, I'm a warrior too.
Many times if I'd told my soldiers my plans, I would've had a mutiny.
Why is that? Do your soldiers have something against murdering innocent people? Innocent? There are no innocents on a battlefield.
What about the people of Gardenis? That was regrettable.
I was away to the north, chasing bandits when it happened.
The soldiers responsible were crucified.
Who knows? Maybe Xena really believes those stories.
I trust Xena.
Well, I can't.
It's my life on the line.
You're not gonna die.
Caesar won't let that happen.
No.
We'll get Vercinix, and everyone will be happy.
I hope you're right.
[ Guard .]
Back to your cage, barbarian! [ Grunting .]
Now, get in there! Vercinix, my name is Xena.
I'm working to get you out of here.
Mendala sent me.
My wife-- She escaped from the Romans? Yes, and your children.
They're safe.
They want their father home again.
I'm here to make sure that happens.
All right.
That's enough.
Prison hardly seems the place to tell you this, but you look incredible.
Roman finery becomes you.
We're not going down that road.
This is business.
It's never just business between us, Xena.
It's hatred, war, conflict-- And it's love.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Are we done yet? [ Groaning .]
[ Blow Landing .]
[ Crassus Grunts .]
[ Grunting .]
You're gonna kill me, I know it.
Don't! Don't! I'm not gonna let him die.
Give me a hand! Here.
Take this.
I had it made in Rome before I left.
There are two cells there.
It fits the lock to each of them.
Help me get his hands up.
We're gonna have to move quickly.
Caesar's decided to hold the gladiatorial fights in the colosseum tomorrow.
I think he's moved the execution up.
You were right.
He's not going through with the trade.
Does this change our plans? Not our part of it.
Wh-What does that mean? [ Groans .]
[ Pants .]
It turns out that Vercinix is more of a prize than I thought.
Caesar has staked his reputation on the capture and execution of him.
He's not about to give that up.
But when he knows that it's Crassus -- It won't matter.
The execution will go ahead, and Crassus will die.
I'm sorry.
You need to be in place before the games begin.
If I'm right, the execution will be the finale.
I want to talk about this.
There's got to be another way.
There's not.
The time that Crassus buys us by walking into the arena is the time that we need to escape from Rome.
Why don't we put the horses in place earlier? O-Or we could ride-- Gabrielle, if I could accomplish my plan without Crassus dying, then fine.
But if this means his death, so be it.
We can't think about that.
No, I can't avoid it.
You are making me be a part of murder.
And you're being so casual about it.
It's not about being casual.
It's about focus.
Focus on Caesar.
Drop it, Gabrielle.
This is about saving a good man.
Crassus is a cold-blooded murderer.
I've seen his handiwork.
I'll do my part.
Good.
We'll stop here.
Aaah! You could've let me go! Another second, I would've been in the trees.
I promised Xena I'd switch you for Vercinix.
[ Groans .]
Then you really are in the middle of it.
I thought you were different from her.
I thought you had a regard for life, no matter whose.
You're not going to die, Crassus.
I said I'd switch you.
If the guards recognize who you are, I have no control over that.
Don't rely on that.
Most of Rome doesn't know what I look like, let alone the prison guards.
You will with this.
Your imperial ring.
It identifies you in every province.
Show this to the guards once we're gone.
I'm sorry about what I said.
I underestimated you.
[ Sighs .]
Thank you.
We have to be going.
Drink.
[ Pompey .]
If you're anything like me, you feel naked without a weapon.
Whether you use it or not, there's something reassuring about the weight and feel of a solid blade.
I wasn't aware that I needed a weapon here.
Unless there is something I should know about.
[ Chuckles .]
Caesar has no intention of trading Vercinix for Crassus.
And more than that, he sent Brutus out to find your friend Gabrielle.
You mean Crassus.
No, it's your friend he wants.
He seems to think she has some sort of power over you.
He wants that power.
And what's your interest in all this? I am but a servant of Rome.
I want what is good for her.
But if Caesar and Crassus weren't in the way, I could do many things.
For one, I could release the barbarian.
The knife is a gift, one that will get the owner safely past my army outside Rome.
Good-bye, Xena.
[ Chattering .]
Look at that! Drunk.
[ Woman .]
Ya slob of a husband! I can't take it anymore! [ Groaning .]
You get in the tavern, and you-- [ Grunting, Groaning .]
No, no, you've got the wrong one! I'll take you all on! Brilliant! Xena brings Crassus into Rome right under my nose.
It's the last place I'd look.
And the girl, Gabrielle? Apparently still with Crassus.
The tracks were easy to follow until we got into Rome.
Easy? Perhaps too easy.
What are you really after, Xena? I'm tellin' you.
I ain't never been drinking! Drunken-- Drunk.
Right.
Sleep it off, girl, and tell it to the magistrate.
[ Groaning .]
Vercinix! Xena sent me.
We're going to get you out of here.
- How? - Funny you should ask.
You're going to walk out of here tomorrow.
- Hello, Xena.
- [ Men Grunting .]
[ Xena Grunting, Shouting .]
Interesting.
Roman design.
I can't believe you would double-cross me, just as I was about to double-cross you.
How'd you know? [ Grunts .]
You have one obsession, Xena.
That's me.
And because of it, I have you, and I have Vercinix.
[ Grunts .]
And somewhere out there is an irritating blonde about to follow a plan that no longer exists.
[ Grunting .]
Take me back to when you said you'd get me out of here.
Patience, Vercinix.
You'll be out soon enough.
Tomorrow, as a matter of fact, to face the headsman.
And as for you, Xena, you won't get a chance to see it.
You'll already be dead.
The opening act to my spectacle.
Gabrielle? I'm here.
Crassus is still asleep.
Catch.
Did Gabrielle fill you in on the plan? Yes, you want to swap Crassus for me.
But if you have the key, then let's go now.
No.
No, we'd never make it.
We have to wait until all Rome's eyes are elsewhere.
My execution.
Exactly.
Now call the guard.
Guard! Here! There's something you should know about this woman.
What? What is it that's so important? - Seems she has a key.
- [ Grunting .]
[ Cheering .]
Look at those people.
Look at them.
[ Man .]
Gladiator! [ Cheering Continues .]
Each one of them considers himself an individual with independent thought and movement.
Yet together, they're like sheep.
Today they want the death of Vercinix, and I intend to give it to them.
So, you've rescued Crassus? Crassus is in my city.
It's just a matter of time before I have him.
Oh, by the way-- I believe that's your dagger.
Ah, tough guy, huh? [ Cheering .]
Citizens of Rome, we are gathered here to mark the end of an era.
The end of resistance in Gaul.
Resistance led by the evil barbarian Vercinix.
[ Cheering .]
But-- But first I present to you an ally of the Gauls, and an enemy of Rome-- Xena, the Warrior Princess! So let the combat begin! [ Cheering Continues .]
[ Man .]
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! [ Laughing .]
[ Grunting .]
[ Woman .]
Kill her! Yeah! Hyah! Aaah! Hyah! Okay.
We have Crassus in your cell being you, the guard in my cell being Crassus.
The horses are waiting at the stable one block west.
When Xena sees me in the crowd, she'll know we're okay.
Then let's get going.
The longer we stay here, the longer she has to fight.
Hold on.
This ring.
When the guards see it, they'll know that it's him.
They'll set him free.
Wait! Never mind.
I owe you my life, so I won't stop you.
But Crassus and I will meet again.
We have a blood debt to settle from Gardenis.
- What are you talking about? - My brother and his family were there.
Crassus personally ordered the massacre.
How can you be so sure if everyone was killed? I found my niece crucified.
She told me before she died.
[ Horses Neighing .]
Hyah! Hyah! [ Groaning .]
[ Grunting .]
- Hyah! - [ Grunts .]
[ Chuckling .]
Haaah! [ Booing .]
[ Grunts .]
[ Chortling .]
What a move! Yeah! Go! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! [ Groaning .]
[ Xena Yelling .]
[ Xena .]
Aaah! [ Groaning .]
Hyah! Hyah! Aaah! dddd [ Chorus Vocalizing .]
[ Groaning, Grunting .]
dddd [ Continues .]
Hyah! Hyah! - [ Screams .]
- Aaah! [ Groaning .]
Aaah! Aaah! [ Grunting .]
Aaah! dddd [ Ends .]
[ Booing .]
Take her to her cell.
We'll deal with her later.
[ Booing Continues .]
[ Groaning .]
Where's Gabrielle? She said she'd meet us at the stable.
[ Gasps .]
[ Cheering .]
Citizens of Rome, what you've been waiting for-- the death of the barbarian Vercinix.
[ Cheering Swells .]
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Well, Caesar, give the people what they want.
[ Pompey Cackling .]
I'm not Vercinix.
I'm Crassus! I'm not Vercinix.
I'm Crassus! My ring can tell you.
My ring-- My imperial ring! Tell them who I am! Yeah! Tell them! Come on, tell them! Caesar! No! Caesar! Caesar! [ Ax Blow Lands .]
I don't know what's happening to me, Xena.
I did something that I never thought I'd be able to do.
I played judge, jury and executioner.
You only did what I told you to.
You said Crassus living or dying wasn't the point.
I had a choice.
I made it.
Gabrielle, I put you into a situation I had no right to.
I expected you to understand my logic and ignore your heart.
But I know you were right.
It wasn't right for you.
That's not who you are.
If-- If I had to do this all over again-- You'd still do it.
If I couldn't find another way, I would.
But I wouldn't include you.
Yeah, but I'd be hurt if you didn't.
How many more times are you gonna follow me into battle, huh? How many more times am I gonna hurt you? You are the most dear thing to me in all the world.
Yet instead of protecting you -- I'm here because I want to be here.
I love you, Xena.
I love you too, Gabrielle.