Avatar: The Last Airbender s03e17 Episode Script

Doesn’t it seem kinda weird that we’re hiding from the Fire Lord in his own house? I told you, my Father hasn’t come here since our family was actually happy.
And that was a long time ago.
This is the last place anyone would think to look for us.
You guys are not going to believe this.
There’s a play about us.
We were just in town and we found this poster.
What? How is that possible? Listen to this.
“The Boy in the Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu On Tim who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se His sources including singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage.
” “Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players.
” Ugh.
My Mother used to take us to see them.
They butchered “Love Amongst The Dragons” every year.
Sokka, do you really think it’s a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves? Come on, a day at the theatre? This is the kind of wacky time wasting nonsense I’ve been missing.
Hey, uh… I wanted to sit there.
Just sit next to me, what’s the big deal? I was just… I wanted to… Okay.
Why are we sitting in the nose bleed section? My feet can’t see a thing from up here.
Don’t worry, I’ll tell your feet what’s happening.
Actress Katara: Sokka, my only brother.
We constantly roam these icy South Pole seas and yet never do we find anything fulfilling.
Actor Sokka: All I want is a full feeling in my stomach, I’m starving! Is food the only thing on your mind? Well, I’m trying to get it out of my mind and into my mouth.
I’m starving.
This is pathetic.
My jokes are way funnier than this.
I think he’s got you pegged.
Everyday, the World awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears.
Still, we cannot give up hope.
For hope is all we have and we must never relinquish it.
Even… even to our dying breath.
Well, that’s just silly.
I don’t sound like that.
Oh man, this writer’s a genius.
It appears to be someone frozen in ice.
Perhaps for a hundred years.
Actor Sokka: But who? Who is the boy in the iceberg? Waterbend, hai-ya! Who are you, frozen boy? Actress Aang: I’m the Avatar, silly.
Here to spread joy and fun.
Wait, is that a woman playing me? An airbender.
My heart is so full of hope that it’s making me tearbend.
My stomach is so empty that it’s making me tearbend.
I need meat.
But wait.
Is that a platter of meaty dumplings? Actor Sokka: Ooo.
Where? Where? Did I mention that I’m an incurable prankster? I don’t do that.
That’s not what I’m like! And… I’m not a woman! Oh, they nailed you, Twinkle Toes.
Actor Uncle: Prince Zuko, you must try this cake.
Actor Zuko: I don’t have time to stuff my face.
I must capture the Avatar to regain my honor! Well, while you do that, maybe I’ll capture another slice.
You sicken me.
They make me totally stiff and humorless.
Actually, I think that actor’s pretty spot on.
How could you say that? Let’s forget about the Avatar and get massages.
How could you say that?! Hey look, I think I found something.
It’s a flying rabbit monkey.
I think I’ll name him, Momo.
Puppet Momo: Hi, everybody.
I love you.
Actor Sokka: Does this dress make my butt look fat? Actor Bumi: Riddles and challenges must you face, if you are ever to leave this place.
Actor Sokka: Why did you have to steal that waterbending scroll? It just gave me so much hope! Actor Zuko: The Avatar is mine! Wait, who’s coming? Actor Blue Spirit: I am the Blue Spirit.
The scourge of the Fire Nation here to save the Avatar.
Actress Aang: My hero.
Actor Jet: Don’t cry, baby.
Jet will wipe out that nasty town for you.
Actress Katara: Oh Jet, you’re so bad.
Actress Aang: Look, it’s The Great Divide.
The biggest canyon in the Earth Kingdom.
Actor Sokka: Meh.
Let’s keep flying.
Actor Sokka: Don’t go, Yue.
You’re the only woman whose ever taken my mind off of food.
Wait, did you have pickled fish for dinner? Actress Yue: Goodbye, Sokka.
I have important Moon duties to take care of.
And yes, I did have pickled fish.
You never told me you made out with the Moon Spirit.
Shh.
I’m trying to watch.
Actress Aang: The Avatar is back to save the day! Yay! So far, this intermission is the best part of the play.
Apparently, the playwright thinks I’m an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time.
Yeah, you tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics.
I know! Aang: At least this Sokka actor kinda looks like you.
That woman playing the Avatar doesn’t resemble me at all.
I don’t know, you are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys.
Relax, Aang.
They’re not accurate portrayals.
It’s not like I’m a preachy crybaby who can’t resist giving overemotional speeches about hope all the time.
What? Yeah.
That’s not you at all.
Listen, friends.
It’s obvious that the playwright did his research.
I know it must hurt but what you’re seeing up there on that stage is the truth.
Well, here we are in the Earth Kingdom.
I better have a look around to see if I can find an earthbending teacher.
This is it! This must be where I come in.
I flew all over town but I couldn’t find a single earthbending master.
Here it comes.
Actor Toph: You can’t find an earthbending master in the sky, you have to look underground.
Who are you? My name is Toph because it sounds like tough.
And that’s just what I am.
Wait a minute, I sound like… a guy.
A really buff guy.
Well Toph, what you hear up there is the truth.
It hurts, doesn’t it? Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t have cast it any other way.
At least it’s not a flying bald lady.
So, you’re blind? I can see you doing that.
I see everything that you see except that I don’t see like you do.
I release a sonic wave from my mouth.
There.
I got a pretty good look at you.
Zuko, it’s time we had a talk.
About your hair.
It’s gone too far.
Maybe it’s best if we… split up.
Actor Zuko: Azula! My sister.
What are you doing here? You caught me.
Wait.
What’s that? I think it’s your honor.
Actor Zuko: Where? Actress Katara: She escaped.
But how? Actress Aang: If she continues drilling this wall will come down for sure.
Haha, yes! Continue drilling.
The city of Ba Sing Se can’t hide no longer.
Actress Aang: No, Jet! What did they do to you? Actor Jet: Must.
Serve.
Earth King! Must… Destroy! Did Jet just… die? You know, it was really unclear.
I have to admit, Prince Zuko.
I really find you attractive.
You don’t have to make fun of me.
But I mean it.
I had eyes for you since the day you first captured me.
Wait.
I thought you were the Avatar’s girl.
The Avatar? Why, he’s like a little brother to me.
I certainly don’t think of him in a romantic way.
Besides, how could he ever find out about this.
Oh, you’re getting up? Can you get me some fire flakes? Oh and fire gummies.
Actress Azula: Well, my brother.
What’s it going to be? Your nation or a life of treachery? Choose treachery, it’s more fun.
No way! I hate you, Uncle.
You smell and I hate you for all time.
You didn’t really say that, did you? I might as well have.
Avatar State, yip yip.
Not if my lightning can’t help it! The Avatar is no more! Suki: It seems like every time there’s a big battle you guys barely make it out alive.
I mean, you guys lose a lot.
You’re one to talk, Suki.
Didn’t Azula take you captive? That’s right, she did.
Are you trying to get on my bad side? I’m just saying.
Does anyone know where Aang is? He left to get me fire gummies like, I’m going to check outside.
Are you alright? No, I’m not.
I hate this play.
I know it’s upsetting but it sounds like you’re overreacting.
Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now.
Little Boy: Wheeee.
Suki, what are the chances you can get me backstage? I got some jokes I want to give to the actor me.
I’m an elite warrior who’s trained for many years in the art of stealth.
I think I can get you backstage.
Jeez.
Everyone’s getting so upset about their characters.
Even you seem more down than usual and that’s saying something.
You don’t get it.
It’s different for you.
You get a muscley version of yourself taking down 10 bad guys at once and making sassy remarks.
Yeah, that’s pretty great.
But for me, it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life and shove them back in my face.
My Uncle.
He’s always been on my side even when things were bad.
He was there for me.
He taught me so much and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.
It’s my greatest regret and I may never get to redeem myself.
You have redeemed yourself to your Uncle.
You don’t realize it but you already have.
How do you know? Because I once had a long conversation with the guy and all he would talk about was you.
- Really? - Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.
Oh, sorry.
But it was also very sweet.
All your Uncle wanted was for you to find your own path and see the light.
Now you’re here with us.
He’d be proud.
Ow.
What was that for? That’s how I show affection.
Your Zuko costume is pretty good but your scar’s on the wrong side.
The scar is not on the wrong side! He’s coming this way.
Can I help you? Actually, I think I can help you.
I’m a big Sokka fan but I don’t think you’re representing him quite as well as you could be.
Oh no… another fan with ideas.
Just hear me out.
Here’s something I think the real Sokka would say.
“What does the cabbage merchant use to fix his cabbages?” “A cabbage patch” That’s actually pretty good.
Let me see those.
Haha.
Rocky relationship.
Not bad.
Also, don’t be afraid to make up some phrases.
Especially before an attack.
Something like “Flying Kick-A-Pow!” - Who are you, anyway? - I’m just a guy who likes comedy.
Katara, did you really mean what you said in there? In where? What are you talking about? On stage.
When you said I was just like a brother to you and you didn’t have feelings for me.
I didn’t say that.
An actor said that.
But it’s true, isn’t it? We kissed at the invasion and I thought we were going to be together but we’re not.
Aang, I don’t know.
Why don’t you know? Because we’re in the middle of a war and we have other things to worry about.
This isn’t the right time.
Well, when is the right time? Aang, I’m sorry but right now, I’m just a little confused.
I just said that I was confused.
I’m going inside.
Argh! I’m such an idiot! Here’s what you missed.
We went to the Fire Nation and you got better and Katara was the Painted Lady and I got a sword and I think Combustion Man died.
Ooo look, The Invasion’s about to start.
Shh.
I just want to let you know Aang, that I’ll always love you.
Like a brother.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Hey Toph, would you say you and Aang have a rocky relationship? I told him to say that.
I hope everyone’s ready for The Invasion.
Slop-A-Pow! We finally made it to the royal palace but no one’s home.
Actually, I’m home and I want to join you.
I guess we have no choice.
Come on.
I guess that’s it.
The play’s caught up to the present now.
Wait.
The play’s not over.
But it is over.
Unless… This is the future.
Actor Ozai: With the energy harnessed from that comet, no one will be able to stop the Fire Nation! Father, Zuko and the Avatar are at the palace.
They’re trying to stop you.
You take care of Zuko.
I shall face the Avatar myself.
Aang, you fight the Fire Lord, I’ll hold her off.
You are no longer my brother.
You are an enemy.
No, I am the rightful heir to the throne! We’ll see.
Honor! Actor Ozai: So, you have mastered all 4 elements? Yeah and now, you’re going down.
No, it is you who are going down.
You see, you are too late.
The comet is already here and I’m unstoppable.
Nooo… It is over, Father.
We’ve done it.
Yes, we have done it! The dreams of my Father, and my Father’s Father have now been realized.
The World is mine.
Zuko: That… wasn’t a good play.
- Aang: I’ll say.
- Katara: No kidding.
- Suki: Horrible.
- Toph: You said it.
But the effects were decent.