Felicity s03e17 Episode Script

Previously on Felicity I feel like I don't know how to be normal with you again.
- I don't know if I know what that is anymore.
- Friends! Hey, hey, knock it off! Listen to me.
You can talk to her all you want, but it's not gonna change a thing.
Noel, I don't wanna lose you.
Our friendship means so much to me.
It's just, I love you too much to be friends right now.
Dear Felicity.
I know how corny this is, Just.
Uh Just go with it, Please, Uh.
I'm making you this tape because I wanna make sure I say everything I'm thinking.
Because doing it this way.
It's.
Uh.
It's a little easier, even still I'm not sure where to start, I guess I should start with good-bye.
The thing about college is, as great as it is, there's something cruel about it.
Cruel? Yeah.
I mean, you don't know anyone when you get there.
But then, all of a sudden, you find yourself making connections, making friends and dating people.
And there's something incredible about it, like anything's possible.
And you go through years of that, and you get used to it.
But the thing is, it's not real.
Because graduation comes, and whatever you've been working towards, or whatever your plans are, it just pulls you away.
And if you're having, you know, a difficult time with a friend of yours, and he leaves, you don't have college anymore to rely on, to keep you together.
Well, not like this is sunshine for your rainy day, but life outside of college ends, too.
I know.
I just thought when that time came, Noel and I would still be friends.
OK.
So you said whatever I wanna do this summer, right? Remember that guy in New Mexico who was talking about Acadia National Park? - Yeah, yeah.
The one in Maine.
- How amazing did that sound? - That sounded pretty amazing.
- That's what we're gonna do.
- You already bought this stuff? - No.
I went to the College Camping Club.
They have this really cool program where they loan you all this stuff.
I can return it, but I was just thinking.
I mean, this is our last real summer.
You know? - We don't have to work.
- You don't have to convince me.
I'll do it.
- Really? - Yeah, totally.
OK, 'cause I can go back and get, like, sleeping bags - and stoves and everything - Yes, that sounds great.
- Hey, what's going on? - Uh, Ruby's flight was delayed.
Oh, Ruby's coming in for your graduation? Yeah.
Ever since you said no to Seattle, he's been acting really weird.
I haven't said anything to Ben about Noel kissing me.
Interesting.
You're the one who said kindness was more important than honesty.
I'm not judging.
I just said "interesting.
" Why haven't you told Ben? Because it didn't mean anything, just like when Avery kissed Ben.
I mean, knowing that didn't make me feel any better.
I wish I'd never found out.
And if I told Ben, he'd hate Noel forever.
But if Noel's no longer in your life if your friendship is over like he says then what does it matter what Ben thinks? I guess I'm not ready to believe that that our friendship is over.
* Can you become * * Can you become * * A new version of you * * A new wallpaper * * A new shoe leather * * A new way home * * I don 't remember * * New version of you * * I need a new version of me * * New version of you * * I need a new version of me * - Hey.
- Hi! Is this Eva? - Hi.
- Yeah, this is Eva.
- She's beautiful.
- Thanks.
I can't believe how big she is.
- Well, she's 85th percentile.
- Really? Yeah.
Come on, my little babes, you're gonna go back down.
- Of what? - Of size.
The doctors have these charts.
She was so good on the flight, people came and thanked me afterwards.
You're a great mom.
I still can't believe that you're a mom.
Me neither.
Still, somehow Well, thanks for coming.
Come on! You know I wanted to for so long.
This was a perfect excuse.
- You look great.
- Thanks.
Yeah, I'm good.
It's hard, you know.
It's a lot of work, but it's the best.
No regrets.
Oh, no, I didn't I didn't mean you look great 'cause - No, I'm saying I'm good.
- Yeah.
I know I know, uh, you were trying to work things out with Wade.
- Did that go all right? - No, no.
He went back to Los Angeles.
He came out to Colorado, and I mean, I give him a lot of credit, but we were definitely not - Meant to be.
- Not meant to be.
How about you? How's everyone? Uh, every Oh, my gosh! How are you doing? Oh, I'm good.
How are you? Good.
I'm glad you brought her.
Oh, my gosh! - She's amazing.
- Thanks.
What kind of a person gets on a roller coaster five times in a row? A real man, that's what kind.
Here's your little friend.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Tracy.
What are you doing? - Um, I was just delivering this.
- What is it? You know what? You should just read it.
What's up, man? Tracy.
- Um, I'm sorry.
This is DeForrest.
- Yeah.
What's happenin'? It's good to see you again.
It's nice meeting you, man.
Don't forget to read the letter, please.
It's from Tracy.
Uh-huh.
James would do exactly the same thing.
I'd just be on the brink of getting over him, and he'd show up.
And the whole thing would start all over again.
- The whole thing's not starting over again.
- You're stronger than I am.
No, I just can't I can't deal with this again.
He lied to me.
I know.
I mean, I know that I did the same thing with Finn.
But it was just too painful, finding out about him and Rose.
I can't trust him.
He wants to meet tomorrow, but I'm not going.
Yeah, it really does sound amazing, but unfortunately my aunt is really sick right now, and I can't leave her alone.
I'm really sorry to take up your time.
OK.
Thank you.
Thanks very much.
- What's wrong with your aunt? - Nothing.
I was getting out of something.
- How was Modell's? - Good.
I found a water purifier.
- The camp club didn't have any.
- Good.
- What are you trying to get out of? What's going on? - Nothing.
- I won't ask again if you don't want me to.
- OK.
But I really wanna ask you again.
OK.
- After what happened that night with Avery, I got a stupid idea.
- What? - I can't I can't tell you.
- What? Why? - 'Cause it's embarrassing.
- What are you talking about? OK.
That night in the ambulance was unbelievable.
Seeing somebody die, and then watching these guys, these paramedics, bring her back to life I mean, it was amazing.
And I can't stop thinking about it.
I can't stop thinking about that night.
I can't stop thinking about your mom, what she's been saying, what she said about my future that conversation we had.
Anyway, I applied to this stupid program in Kansas City, this EMT program.
Just as a joke.
It was just a joke.
But I got in.
- You want to train to be a paramedic? - I don't know.
- Whatever, I'm not doing it.
- Why not? For a lot of reasons.
I have to come back to New York to take a test, so I'm not doing it.
- But that's amazing that you got in! - I know.
- Is it for the summer? - Yes, but I'm not going.
It's this 3-month intensive program.
It's like 18 hours a day.
You live in these bungalows.
It'd be you and me in Kansas City, and we wouldn't get to see each other.
Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure.
I can do this program anytime.
I want to spend the summer with you.
Like you said, it's our last summer ever.
Yeah.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Just prepping for graduation.
- You're scalping graduation tickets? - I'm providing a service.
OK, yeah, whatever.
Just sort through these.
- Switzerland.
- Yep, my parents sent 'em.
They'll be in Tuscany, so they're letting us stay in the house in Geneva all summer.
Yeah, it's just The thing is And I'm just gonna say this just so it's out there.
You know communicate.
Is, um This is really embarrassing for me.
- What? - You know, we talked to Dr.
Zwick about me feeling like less than a man.
to have my girlfriend and her parents plan and pay for my vacation although it's incredibly thoughtful it's just a little emasculating.
We have the house.
Someone should use it.
We did it last summer.
Exactly my point! I mean, getting a free ride, staying in your parents' bed I mean, it's not exactly building my self-esteem.
You understand? I just thought that this year, maybe the two of us, we could come up with a place to go together, you know, both of us.
You know, like Zwick said, we're a couple, not just two solo artists.
OK.
That's fine.
- Yeah? - Forget Switzerland.
We'll do something else.
OK, great.
Thanks.
All right, I'm gonna get some envelopes for these babies.
Thanks.
Thanks for Thanks for coming.
- No problem.
- How's Ruby? - She's good.
- Good.
Well, I wanted to give you something.
It's for graduation, so - Should I open it? - Yeah, yeah.
Do you remember? It's the one that was out of print that you wanted sophomore year? Yeah, I remember.
Well, you said that it inspired you, so I thought that maybe it would help keep you inspired in Seattle.
I can't - Noel.
- Seriously, it's nice.
I just l You know what? No, it took me way too long to find this.
You have to take it.
Please take it.
Thanks.
I really should go.
Noel.
I really should go.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.
Besides, Acadia's supposed to be incredible.
- We could go after your EMT thing.
- I wanna spend the summer with you.
Besides, I wouldn't be any good at that paramedic stuff anyway.
- What? - I wouldn't be.
- Would you stop? - Hey.
When you get a chance, we gotta talk about this loft over the summer.
- OK.
Hey, Sean? - Yeah? Do you think I could be a paramedic? - See that? - You can't take your own temperature.
- Thank you.
- No sweat.
- Hey, who cares what Sean thinks? - I heard that.
Look, we're gonna spend the summer together.
All right? That's it.
- OK.
- OK, go check it out.
Um, when do you wanna leave? How about tomorrow? Isn't graduation tomorrow? - Yeah.
- Well, then, what about Noel? I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me there.
And it's his graduation, so I don't wanna make him uncomfortable.
I think he wants you there.
No, I don't think he does.
I wasn't gonna come today, but I wanted to tell you in person.
You seeing somebody? A little bit.
DeForrest, the guy you met.
- The Rabbit guy? - Yes.
- You and Rose are not dating anymore? - No, that's over.
- What? - Do you know what it was like? Being dumped because you can't stand celibacy and then finding out that you and your missionary girlfriend were getting it on? - Whoa, wait.
What? What? - Oh, please.
You and Rose.
There's only one person I've ever had sex with and we both know who that is.
- I saw the condom in your wallet.
- And what'd you see? We were sitting over there, and I said, "Oh, you can date Rose.
" And you were like, "Thank you.
Order me a burger.
" I opened your wallet and the condom was there.
You mean this condom? Elena, that's been in my wallet since you and I were together.
I haven't used one since.
I haven't needed to.
- Really? - Really.
So you and Rose I'm not a player, Elena.
I'm the Christian pimp.
I went to Africa because I wanted to be surrounded by people who had the same beliefs as I do.
I wanted to pretend that the rest of the world you didn't exist.
Rose made sense.
Me sleeping with you didn't make sense, at least not logically.
But that's the thing.
Rose is logical.
But she doesn't make sense.
- You make sense.
- I don't believe this.
I don't know why you're getting all bent out of shape.
Me sleeping with Rose shouldn't be a problem for you.
I mean, you and Finn - I know.
- Baby, I know we can work this out.
I'm not giving up on you.
I didn't think that I would I'd be able to get over you.
But I did.
And I just I can't go through that again.
Let's go over our vacation lists, see what we agree on.
All right? - Uh-huh.
- You go first.
Switzerland.
OK, that's that's not funny.
OK! I just thought I'd throw it out there, see if you put it back on your list and came to your senses.
All right.
- You go.
- OK.
This is a good one.
I want you to think about this.
This could be great for both of us.
Ready? Atlantic City.
There's this huge resurgence going on there.
What? What is that reaction? What is that? It's just the reaction of someone who just heard a horrible idea.
Atlantic City is like ten minutes away.
We might as well go to the roof for a vacation.
You know what? This isn't gonna work unless we respect each other's feelings.
Remember the "I feel" exercise? You remember that? - OK, yes.
I feel - Yeah? - That Atlantic City is crap.
OK.
And I feel like I'll have to respect that.
What's next on your list? - Hawaii.
- Fascinating! Listen, I feel you're not taking your boyfriend's financial situation into account.
- It's hard to take zero into account.
- This from Daddy's little rich girl.
Oh, is that the same Daddy whose house you had no problem staying in last year? Uh maybe.
Oh, Israel? What, are we gonna stay on a kibbutz? - Yes.
Flights are really cheap right now.
- No! No.
OK, what do you got? Oh, the Bahamas.
OK.
Who do you think you're dating? Bill Gates? No.
I thought I was dating a guy who was open-minded enough to let his girlfriend pay for a fun vacation because she can! It's not like the Middle Ages.
It's not like we're living in the '80s or something.
What are you doing? Sean What are you doing? Dr.
Zwick said clucking ends an argument.
Remember that? I thought we agreed not to do that.
OK, it's really annoying.
Stop it! - I'm getting out of here.
- Come on.
I'm cute as a chicken.
- You know, once you take those things out, forget about it.
- Yeah, I know.
How are you gonna get all that stuff to the airport? My parents rented a car.
Most of it's going back with them anyway.
- You know, the stuff we sweat over just gets packed away and gathers dust.
- Yeah.
- Well, thanks, man.
- No problem.
I'm sorry.
Not, uh, not for anything in particular and not for everything.
But for not being very generous sometimes.
Or upfront.
Anyway, I, uh I just wanted to say good-bye on decent terms.
So - Thanks.
- Yeah.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah.
What's it like knowing what you wanna do with your life? - That's not a question.
That's the question.
- Yeah, I guess.
I just You've got this job that you love, a job that you're good at.
- That's more than most people, you know? - Yeah, it is.
I feel lucky.
Like, uh, like I backed into something great.
You know? I mean, most people, they spend four years here trying to find a class that inspires them.
And I managed to stumble on one freshman year in graphic design.
- If I hadn't signed up for that class - Yeah, but you did.
Yeah.
And now I'm moving to a city I've never been to for a job that terrifies me, so you figure it out.
- Ruby's in town, huh? - Yeah.
I know it's none of my business, but I just wanted to say that I thought you guys were really good together.
So thanks for the help.
- That was fun, wasn't it? - Yeah.
All right.
Hi, sweetie.
- There we go.
- What a pretty girl.
- Yes, she is.
Aren't you? - Hi.
Does she eat steak? I'm having dinner with my parents tonight at Peter Luger's if you guys wanna come.
Well, at the moment, she's still a vegan, but if that's an invitation, I'll make an executive decision and say yes.
Good! Good.
- Hey, you still got the bracelet on.
- Yeah.
I wear it 'cause it reminds me of you.
It's weird, too, because I have horrible taste in jewelry, so - I don't know.
- I'm serious.
I wear it because it makes me feel closer to you.
I miss you.
Um, OK, so we can get the permits from the park service once we get there? Great.
Thanks.
Wait.
I can't keep the book.
Why not? Because it would remind me of you, and I don't want that.
Noel I'm not kidding.
I don't want it.
Thank you, but no, thank you.
You can't do this! You can't just dump your friends because you're freaking out.
You think I'm doing all this because I'm terrified? Yes! Of graduating.
Yes, I do.
I'll tell you what terrifies me that you're gonna stay alive in my life.
That I'm gonna move across the country and still not be able to get away from you.
Thank you.
Now I'm an evil presence in your life.
Not evil, just completely unhealthy.
But why? Because of what? Because of the fact that we can't go out? You're gonna throw away everything that we have because of that? God! Do you have any idea how selfish that is? You know what? You can do whatever you want with this.
I'm not taking it back.
You think I'm being selfish? All I want is - for you to get out of my life! - I'm going! Look.
I know we'd said our friendship was over before but that fight That was sort of the proverbial nail in the coffin, The thing I wonder is what's gonna stick? Which words? Which memories? It's strange how that works, I remember tenth grade biology, I got every answer on the final right except for one Purkinje fibers, And now that's the only thing I can remember about biology, Is that gonna happen to us? I mean.
After all these years.
After all our right answers.
Is that fight gonna be the only thing I remember? I just can't believe I said those things, Given your anger at him, I think it's a healthy response.
I'm not angry at Noel.
I'm sad about what's happened.
Do you think he was right? Am I being selfish? - Yes.
- You're kidding.
No.
What do you expect? How are you supposed to act when you've lost your best friend? I don't know.
I just wish I could take back what I said.
Why? So you can keep from moving on? Anger is one of the stages.
- Stages? - Of the grieving process.
- It's not like somebody's died.
- It's exactly like that.
You've lost a friend.
Now you're mourning that loss.
- What are the stages? - The first one is denial.
You're way past that.
Noel tells you he doesn't wanna be your friend, and you buy him a book.
It was for his graduation.
Yeah, and I'm sitting here just for the pure joy of it.
Stage two is anger.
All I want is to see Noel graduate.
- And I just don't want to seem selfish.
- Bargaining.
- What? - Stage three.
- What does it mean? - That you think this is subconsciously, of course, so don't bother denying it that if you do something, like go to Noel's graduation, that it will help lessen your loss.
I just don't want our fight to be the last time I talk to him.
Maybe I am bargaining, or whatever, but I'm gonna go.
I wanna see him graduate.
What are you gonna say? I don't know.
I'm I'm sorry.
That's it? Nothing else? Oh, yeah, of course.
There are a lot of things.
Such as? I wanna tell him that I care about him.
I wanna tell him that I wish he had more faith in our friendship because we've been through so much together.
You know, Hannah and Eli and Ruby We survived it all.
We should be able to survive this, too.
I'd tell him that I don't know what my future is gonna be, but whatever it is, I've always thought Noel would be a part of it.
I'd tell him that of all the friends I've made at college, he was the one I thought I'd have forever.
I'd tell him that I counted on our friendship and that I want it back and I hope he does, too.
And then I'd ask him to go get some ice cream.
Oh, my God! Congratulations! That's fantastic! Thank you, Javier.
Look, if, you know, this whole Seattle thing doesn't work out, you still have a job at Dean & Deluca.
- OK? - Thank you.
That's good to know.
I'm just bursting with pride for you.
- Congratulations from the both of us.
- Thank you to the both of you.
Hey, can I ask you a question? What? Did you come here to see if You know what? I'm sounding like an idiot.
I'm sure I'm wrong, but - Yes.
- Yes, I'm wrong? - No.
- Oh.
Wait.
Now I'm confused.
Yes, I came to see if you and I had a chance.
Is that bad? Look, it doesn't mean that I don't care about you, Ruby.
It's because you're in love with Felicity, isn't it? At least, it seemed that way from that fight.
It's her nap time.
Yeah.
- Uh, congratulations.
- Thank you.
Can I talk to you for a minute? Sure.
Yeah.
So, hey, I'm sorry about before.
I just want you to know that I understand, and I wish I could change things.
You were right.
I was being selfish.
Here you are! - Mom, hi.
- We looked for you.
We're starving! Yeah.
I was just I was talking to Felicity.
Felicity Porter? The Felicity Porter? - I don't believe it.
- Mom.
- It's nice to meet you.
- We've been hearing your name for years.
- Drop it, Mom.
- Let me get a picture of you two.
- Mom.
- Oh, come on.
- OK, yeah.
- Good, good.
OK.
Look closer.
Put your arm around her.
OK, big smile.
Come on.
Oh, that's a good one.
When you're done here, we're just all over by the big fountain waiting.
- It was so nice to meet you.
- It was nice to meet you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Mom.
You should probably go, yeah? Yeah.
Good luck in Seattle.
Good luck in New York.
- I hate packing.
It's so final.
- Yeah, I know.
- You OK? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm OK.
I'm OK.
I'm just I was just sitting there at that graduation, watching those people get up and get their diploma and walk off and That's gonna be us next year.
That's gonna be me next year if I'm lucky.
I never thought like this.
I never thought about what's gonna happen next or where I'm going.
I just I don't know.
I sort of just never thought about that stuff, you know? And I've been thinking about that thing, that EMT program.
I just I've just been thinking what you said you know, how it's such a great thing, how it's such a great opportunity.
- You wanna do it? - I called.
I'd have to leave by tomorrow.
But, yeah, it's still available if I want it.
Would you ever go? - I can't go.
- That's all right.
- It's not like I don't wanna go camping.
I really do.
- No, no.
Ben, - you should go.
- I don't wanna go without you.
I don't wanna spend another summer apart.
OK, but what about everything you said? About 18-hour days and living in those little bungalows and never seeing each other? No, I don't wanna spend this summer apart, but If we went camping, which I would love, I would I would spend the whole time feeling guilty.
But you can't feel guilty about something that I wanna do.
But I would, because you're not doing something that was amazing for you.
Yeah, but I don't have to go.
I really don't.
No.
I don't have to go.
But I think you do.
I can tell.
If I do I'm gonna really miss you.
I'm gonna miss you, too.
* I've been gettin' up early * * I've been gettin' my coffee * * I've been gettin' in the car and driving * * All over town * * Talkin' to myself * * While I'm taking off my seat belt * - Hey.
Can I talk to you? You don't need to.
- What? - I already know what you're gonna say.
You do? Yeah.
You're going back with Tracy, aren't you? DeForrest, I am I am really sorry.
Well, I've been through this a lot of times, and it's not gonna be any more fun for you, so I don't know.
Why don't we make it easy on ourselves? I understand, and it's OK, and I'll see you around.
Wait.
I didn't know that any of this was gonna happen.
I know.
And I didn't mean to hurt you.
I've been in your position before, and I know it sucks.
Look and please don't doubt that I-I care about you.
It wasn't about you being safe or anything like that.
It was about how much I like you.
I like you, too.
Good luck with Tracy.
I hope he makes you happy.
Can't you please just say something mean to me so I don't feel like such an idiot walking away from you? I don't wanna be mean to you.
What is all this crap? Oh, this is this is our vacation.
We're going camping.
- Wait, you went out and bought all this stuff? - Are you crazy? No, this is Felicity's stuff.
She doesn't need this anymore 'cause Ben's doing that paramedic thing.
So I told her that you and I would go camping, and she'll stay here and watch the loft while we're gone.
Camping.
OK.
Well, camping! Camping could be fun.
Could be? Check this out.
We got a water purifier, we've got a tent.
It's just gonna be us and, you know, nature.
- Oh, look! And bug spray for the bugs.
- Yeah.
And, oh, look! A flashlight so we can see them.
Check this out.
Look at this.
This is our stove, OK? So we can make our meals under the stars.
And under the bugs.
Or we can just eat the dehydrated food.
Great.
There's a personal chef in, uh, Switzerland, right? Yeah.
Marie.
Marie.
She makes the best chicken pot pie.
Marie.
You don't still have the tickets, right? I'm sure Felicity wouldn't mind, you know, staying here all summer for free.
Right? I don't know.
What about that whole thing about how you don't wanna take a free ride, you don't wanna feel emasculated? What if I pay for the cab ride to the airport? - Deal.
- Great.
- Let's just leave all this crap here.
- OK.
I'm probably just gonna go to the airport and come back.
- We're gonna be OK, right? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Dear Felicity I know how corny this is.
Just, uh Just go with it.
Please.
I'm making you this tape because I wanna make sure I say everything I'm thinking because doing it this way.
It's.
Uh.
It's a little easier, Even still.
I'm not sure where to start, I guess I should start with good-bye, Look.
This is not the way it should be, We both know that, This isn't how we should be ending our year, But I think I think you understand what I'm going through.
That this this time apart.
It's sort of important.
You know? I'm sorry if I acted otherwise.
But the truth is I have no doubt we'll get through this.
That we're gonna be in each other's lives.
Have a great summer, OK? And I'll miss you more than you know, Love.
Noel I told you I wasn't giving up on you.
You know, you really should call before just showing up.
I know.
DeForrest could've been here, and that would've been embarrassing.
- Don't worry about him anymore.
- Why is that? Because I'm not dating him anymore.
Don't go reading into that more than there is, because just because we're not dating doesn't mean that I want you to be my boyfriend.
Good.
It's not like I've sat here for the last few months waiting for you to come back.
I have a life, you know.
What do you mean, "good"? I think I said "good" because I don't wanna be your boyfriend anymore.
What? I wanna be your husband.
Oh, my God! What are you doing here? The Internet's dead.
My project was canceled.
I guess it doesn't Apparently it doesn't matter anymore.
What about you? I thought you were going camping.
No.
Ben went to Kansas City for EMT training.
EMT.
Do you wanna go get some ice cream?