Phineas and Ferb s03e17 Episode Script
Road Trip (15 min)
Hey, Dad! It says on this map that America's largest sport sock is just three miles down the road.
Are we gonna stop there? I'm sorry, boys, but we only have 'till sundown to return this RV to the rental place.
We'll have to do it on our next road trip, okay? I'm ready for this trip to be over.
I'm tired of being in mobile lock-down, where I can't even call my friends because of spotty cell service! That, combined with the refrigerator door opening every time we make a left and sharing a bathroom the size of a postage stamp! The only consolation for this whole rigmarole, besides the fact we didn't stop at one of those greasy spoon road stop diners, is the fact that you two haven't done anything bustable for a whole week! Seven solid days Are you even listening to me? Well, we were at first, but then you got all echoey and far away.
Oh, I'm gonna go take a nap.
Ferb, Candace is right.
Ferb, Candace is right.
We didn't get a chance to stop at the classic, all-American roadside truck stop diner! You know, the juke boxes, the sassy waitresses the little bowl of mints by the cash register.
Too bad you can't build one.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Hey! There's Perry! Ah, Agent P.
We're sorry, we know you're on vacation, but Doofenshmirtz is driving a big rig not far from your current location.
We need you to reroute your family and catch up to him.
Find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
Oh, I envy you.
The romance of the open road.
The tire chunks all up and down the shoulder and that ever-mysterious single shoe.
Turn left at next exit.
Hmm, that's odd, but I never argue with a lady.
Hey, what's that? Hey, what's that? That's a CB radio.
I can talk to truckers on it.
Talk to truckers? Do it! Okay.
Uh, breaker, breaker, 1-9.
This is Cheeky Monkey.
Anybody got their flappers on out there? Cheeky Monkey? Oh, that's me.
It's my my handle.
How do you know how to use a CB radio? Simple, I studied this.
"Truck Drivin' Hits.
1975-1975".
Yes, yes, yes, handle it carefully, dear.
Hello? Cheeky Monkey? Oh! Oh! You got someone.
Yes, yes, this is Cheeky Monkey.
You're shaking the windows.
What's your handle, good buddy? Come back.
A handle? Handle, handle.
Oh, my name! Uh, yeah, you got Misfortune here.
Well, hello, Miss.
No, no! It's not Miss, it-it's Misfortune.
Like like one word.
It's like It means bad luck.
It's like It means bad luck.
One word.
So, uh, where are you? Oh, we're running a double nickel on a dime.
Double nickel on aâ Oh, yes.
Very clever.
Well, let's see.
I'm eastbound with a smoky on my 20, on a cab over Louie with I'm eastbound with a smoky on my 20, on a cab over Louie with You know, I'm gonna level with you.
I don't know where I am or what I'm saying, really.
IsâIs there a code for that? IsâIs there a code for that? No worries, Miss.
Just keep your metal up and your rubber down.
Metal up? What kind ofâ Hey! Cheeky Monkey, I-I'm gonna have to call you back.
I'm gone.
You know, you just scored some big man points in my book for that.
Woo-hoo! You just lost them again.
Perry the Platypus, don't start anything because I'm driving and it's really unsafe.
Quit goofing around and sit down! Besides, you should really have your seat belts on! Yeah! Ah, you're probably wondering what I'm doing driving this big rig.
As you know, every Inator of mine has a self-destruct feature, all of which rely on a little formula top scientists refer to as Boom Juice.
I found a cheap deal on a whole truckload of the stuff out here in the sticks.
But I had to drive it home myself because, well, the shipment's a little old and unstable.
Oh, pay no attention to that.
That's just the mandatory early warning explosion alert.
I'll just turn down the sound so we can talk.
Now I can tell you some of my truck driving tales.
Ready? Mom.
Phineas and Ferb.
Bust.
Look.
And one little orphan boy looked up at me with tears in his eyes He said, "Mr.
Trucker Man, you done saved Christmas!" Oh, that's good.
Mom.
Bust.
Boys.
Oh, Lawrence, look.
Candace is sleep-busting again! Aww, that's adorable.
Hon, go back to your nap now.
Go on.
Mom.
Bust.
Boys.
Oh, go on.
Play track three! It's the one where a group of truckers take down a corrupt police force using only their trucks and their saucy colloquialisms.
Delivery! Hey, aren't you two a little young to be receiving a seasoned grill, 300 pounds of coffee, 200 pounds of fatback, four tons of lumber and assorted wheat, rye and pumpernickel breads? Hey, aren't you two a little young to be receiving a seasoned grill, 300 pounds of coffee, 200 pounds of fatback, four tons of lumber and assorted wheat, rye and pumpernickel breads? Think about it.
Age isn't really the issue here, right? You got a point, kid.
So, then I say to him "That's not a penguin.
It's a throw pillow.
" And so he throws it at me.
Turns out it was a penguin and its beak went right into my mouth.
And I'm all, "Egh! Their beak is their nose!" Ugh! True story.
He's a mobile mammal and I bet you a fiver He's eatin' hush puppies and cornâ Perry the Platypus, I can't fight you and drive at the same timâ It's a good thing I installed my Hitch-a-ride-inator.
Aha! Voila, we are locked together.
They do all the driving and I don't have to.
Now, where were weâ Wait.
Hey! Where'd you go? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! No! Hey! Hey, what the heck, man? Oh, my word, there's a truck-driving pharmacist and he's pressing his face up against his windshield.
Oh, that's what I love about you Americans.
Y-You're like big, fun children.
Y-You're like big, fun children.
Yes.
Yes, we are.
Well, how about that! D-Did you ever notice that the hood ornament here is a little dog? Hmm Right there! Red barn! Bingo! Mom, have you seen Phineas and Ferb? Oh, honey, you're still sleep-busting.
Oh, honey, you're still sleep-busting.
Go back and lie down, Candace.
Oh, but the boys! Go on, you're sleeping.
Phineas? Ferb? Hello?! Hey, is that music? Hey, is that music? What?! Hey, Candace! Welcome to the No Stop Truck Stop.
It's like a little bit of home, on the road! Phineas, my last peaceful hours of vacation, and you build this?! More coffee, Miss? This is unbelievable! When Mom, sees this one, she's gonna completely flip! Miss, I'd like the breakfast special.
Honestly, you can't close your eyes for one second around you boys.
Hash browns or fruit? Hash browns! You're having fruit! Oh You are so busted! Hey, some orange juice over here.
Yeah, hold your horses.
I mean, it's bad enough in our own backyard, but at least that's stationary.
Does the eggs southwest have bacon in them? Ferb, bacon in the southwest? There's bacon.
Is the bacon good? It's bacon.
Okay.
Then, uh I'll take, uh Not getting any younger here.
(Song: Little Bit of Home on the Road) This is our "No Stop Truck Stop" Come on in, take a break from hauling that load We got coffee that's hot and ice that's not It's a little bit of home on the road We got lots of gravy to fill up all our pans And restrooms out in back if you have to wash your hands If an armadillo is your pillow and your cab is your abode Then come on in for a little bit of home on the road Enjoy the view while you're slurping homemade stew And when you're finish you can sit and chat Do you want pie? Oh, yeah! Our juke plays latest hits from 1966 We may not know where we're going but we sure know where it's at There's chicken fried steak and devil's food cake as we whirl through another zip code There's butter that's real and butter that's fake Just a little bit of home on the road Just sit right down, you look like a hungry gent Our biscuits and gravy go down like wet cement So, if you're looking for home cooking or you want to see a three-headed toad Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road! Oh, what am I doing?! That's it, Perry the Platypus! There's nowhere left to run! You have officially overstayed your welcome! Hey! Hey, no fair! Ow! Left in 100 feet.
Uh, okay.
This seems to have a little more corn than most shortcuts.
I'm outta here! Oh, great! Turn right to avoid plunging 5,000 feet into Cactus Gorge.
Well, yes, all right, might as well.
Oh, no! My Boom Juice! Heading for Cactus Gorge! Ah.
Oh, what do you know? My Boom Juice isn't as volatile as I hadâ Uh Miss, I ordered some pie.
Really? By banding together, the truckers saved Christmas? Cool.
Oh, you're coming with me! Yeah, I-I still never got my pie.
I think I'll go check on the kids.
Oh, look at you guys.
Wait! No, Mom! The boys! They built a truck stop! On the roof! Seriously, a whole restaurant! Climb up and see! Hon Mom! Go! Look! Go! Look! Okay Here we go.
It's always about you! I have dreams, too, you know.
I've always wanted to own a little truck stop diner.
There you go.
How do you do that? I don't get it.
What am I supposed to see? What?! NOOO!!! So, what are we looking at? Oh.
Oh, right! Yep.
Gonna need some new pants.
Well I fail to see how this day could get any worse.
Flaming cactus.
Yeah, that ought to do it! Just sit right down, you look like a hungry gent Our biscuits and gravy go down like wet cement So, if you're looking for home cooking or you want to see a three-headed toad Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road!
Are we gonna stop there? I'm sorry, boys, but we only have 'till sundown to return this RV to the rental place.
We'll have to do it on our next road trip, okay? I'm ready for this trip to be over.
I'm tired of being in mobile lock-down, where I can't even call my friends because of spotty cell service! That, combined with the refrigerator door opening every time we make a left and sharing a bathroom the size of a postage stamp! The only consolation for this whole rigmarole, besides the fact we didn't stop at one of those greasy spoon road stop diners, is the fact that you two haven't done anything bustable for a whole week! Seven solid days Are you even listening to me? Well, we were at first, but then you got all echoey and far away.
Oh, I'm gonna go take a nap.
Ferb, Candace is right.
Ferb, Candace is right.
We didn't get a chance to stop at the classic, all-American roadside truck stop diner! You know, the juke boxes, the sassy waitresses the little bowl of mints by the cash register.
Too bad you can't build one.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Hey! There's Perry! Ah, Agent P.
We're sorry, we know you're on vacation, but Doofenshmirtz is driving a big rig not far from your current location.
We need you to reroute your family and catch up to him.
Find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
Oh, I envy you.
The romance of the open road.
The tire chunks all up and down the shoulder and that ever-mysterious single shoe.
Turn left at next exit.
Hmm, that's odd, but I never argue with a lady.
Hey, what's that? Hey, what's that? That's a CB radio.
I can talk to truckers on it.
Talk to truckers? Do it! Okay.
Uh, breaker, breaker, 1-9.
This is Cheeky Monkey.
Anybody got their flappers on out there? Cheeky Monkey? Oh, that's me.
It's my my handle.
How do you know how to use a CB radio? Simple, I studied this.
"Truck Drivin' Hits.
1975-1975".
Yes, yes, yes, handle it carefully, dear.
Hello? Cheeky Monkey? Oh! Oh! You got someone.
Yes, yes, this is Cheeky Monkey.
You're shaking the windows.
What's your handle, good buddy? Come back.
A handle? Handle, handle.
Oh, my name! Uh, yeah, you got Misfortune here.
Well, hello, Miss.
No, no! It's not Miss, it-it's Misfortune.
Like like one word.
It's like It means bad luck.
It's like It means bad luck.
One word.
So, uh, where are you? Oh, we're running a double nickel on a dime.
Double nickel on aâ Oh, yes.
Very clever.
Well, let's see.
I'm eastbound with a smoky on my 20, on a cab over Louie with I'm eastbound with a smoky on my 20, on a cab over Louie with You know, I'm gonna level with you.
I don't know where I am or what I'm saying, really.
IsâIs there a code for that? IsâIs there a code for that? No worries, Miss.
Just keep your metal up and your rubber down.
Metal up? What kind ofâ Hey! Cheeky Monkey, I-I'm gonna have to call you back.
I'm gone.
You know, you just scored some big man points in my book for that.
Woo-hoo! You just lost them again.
Perry the Platypus, don't start anything because I'm driving and it's really unsafe.
Quit goofing around and sit down! Besides, you should really have your seat belts on! Yeah! Ah, you're probably wondering what I'm doing driving this big rig.
As you know, every Inator of mine has a self-destruct feature, all of which rely on a little formula top scientists refer to as Boom Juice.
I found a cheap deal on a whole truckload of the stuff out here in the sticks.
But I had to drive it home myself because, well, the shipment's a little old and unstable.
Oh, pay no attention to that.
That's just the mandatory early warning explosion alert.
I'll just turn down the sound so we can talk.
Now I can tell you some of my truck driving tales.
Ready? Mom.
Phineas and Ferb.
Bust.
Look.
And one little orphan boy looked up at me with tears in his eyes He said, "Mr.
Trucker Man, you done saved Christmas!" Oh, that's good.
Mom.
Bust.
Boys.
Oh, Lawrence, look.
Candace is sleep-busting again! Aww, that's adorable.
Hon, go back to your nap now.
Go on.
Mom.
Bust.
Boys.
Oh, go on.
Play track three! It's the one where a group of truckers take down a corrupt police force using only their trucks and their saucy colloquialisms.
Delivery! Hey, aren't you two a little young to be receiving a seasoned grill, 300 pounds of coffee, 200 pounds of fatback, four tons of lumber and assorted wheat, rye and pumpernickel breads? Hey, aren't you two a little young to be receiving a seasoned grill, 300 pounds of coffee, 200 pounds of fatback, four tons of lumber and assorted wheat, rye and pumpernickel breads? Think about it.
Age isn't really the issue here, right? You got a point, kid.
So, then I say to him "That's not a penguin.
It's a throw pillow.
" And so he throws it at me.
Turns out it was a penguin and its beak went right into my mouth.
And I'm all, "Egh! Their beak is their nose!" Ugh! True story.
He's a mobile mammal and I bet you a fiver He's eatin' hush puppies and cornâ Perry the Platypus, I can't fight you and drive at the same timâ It's a good thing I installed my Hitch-a-ride-inator.
Aha! Voila, we are locked together.
They do all the driving and I don't have to.
Now, where were weâ Wait.
Hey! Where'd you go? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! No! Hey! Hey, what the heck, man? Oh, my word, there's a truck-driving pharmacist and he's pressing his face up against his windshield.
Oh, that's what I love about you Americans.
Y-You're like big, fun children.
Y-You're like big, fun children.
Yes.
Yes, we are.
Well, how about that! D-Did you ever notice that the hood ornament here is a little dog? Hmm Right there! Red barn! Bingo! Mom, have you seen Phineas and Ferb? Oh, honey, you're still sleep-busting.
Oh, honey, you're still sleep-busting.
Go back and lie down, Candace.
Oh, but the boys! Go on, you're sleeping.
Phineas? Ferb? Hello?! Hey, is that music? Hey, is that music? What?! Hey, Candace! Welcome to the No Stop Truck Stop.
It's like a little bit of home, on the road! Phineas, my last peaceful hours of vacation, and you build this?! More coffee, Miss? This is unbelievable! When Mom, sees this one, she's gonna completely flip! Miss, I'd like the breakfast special.
Honestly, you can't close your eyes for one second around you boys.
Hash browns or fruit? Hash browns! You're having fruit! Oh You are so busted! Hey, some orange juice over here.
Yeah, hold your horses.
I mean, it's bad enough in our own backyard, but at least that's stationary.
Does the eggs southwest have bacon in them? Ferb, bacon in the southwest? There's bacon.
Is the bacon good? It's bacon.
Okay.
Then, uh I'll take, uh Not getting any younger here.
(Song: Little Bit of Home on the Road) This is our "No Stop Truck Stop" Come on in, take a break from hauling that load We got coffee that's hot and ice that's not It's a little bit of home on the road We got lots of gravy to fill up all our pans And restrooms out in back if you have to wash your hands If an armadillo is your pillow and your cab is your abode Then come on in for a little bit of home on the road Enjoy the view while you're slurping homemade stew And when you're finish you can sit and chat Do you want pie? Oh, yeah! Our juke plays latest hits from 1966 We may not know where we're going but we sure know where it's at There's chicken fried steak and devil's food cake as we whirl through another zip code There's butter that's real and butter that's fake Just a little bit of home on the road Just sit right down, you look like a hungry gent Our biscuits and gravy go down like wet cement So, if you're looking for home cooking or you want to see a three-headed toad Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road! Oh, what am I doing?! That's it, Perry the Platypus! There's nowhere left to run! You have officially overstayed your welcome! Hey! Hey, no fair! Ow! Left in 100 feet.
Uh, okay.
This seems to have a little more corn than most shortcuts.
I'm outta here! Oh, great! Turn right to avoid plunging 5,000 feet into Cactus Gorge.
Well, yes, all right, might as well.
Oh, no! My Boom Juice! Heading for Cactus Gorge! Ah.
Oh, what do you know? My Boom Juice isn't as volatile as I hadâ Uh Miss, I ordered some pie.
Really? By banding together, the truckers saved Christmas? Cool.
Oh, you're coming with me! Yeah, I-I still never got my pie.
I think I'll go check on the kids.
Oh, look at you guys.
Wait! No, Mom! The boys! They built a truck stop! On the roof! Seriously, a whole restaurant! Climb up and see! Hon Mom! Go! Look! Go! Look! Okay Here we go.
It's always about you! I have dreams, too, you know.
I've always wanted to own a little truck stop diner.
There you go.
How do you do that? I don't get it.
What am I supposed to see? What?! NOOO!!! So, what are we looking at? Oh.
Oh, right! Yep.
Gonna need some new pants.
Well I fail to see how this day could get any worse.
Flaming cactus.
Yeah, that ought to do it! Just sit right down, you look like a hungry gent Our biscuits and gravy go down like wet cement So, if you're looking for home cooking or you want to see a three-headed toad Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road Just come on in for a little bit of home on the road!