The Muppet Show (1976) s03e17 Episode Script
Spike Milligan
Come in, knock-knock.
Spike Milligan? - Yes.
Thirty seconds to curtain.
It's 30 seconds to the curtain, it's five and 1 1 to the floor.
I'll take the curtain.
Say, what's that you're wearing? My family crest.
What's that? - A coat of arms.
It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Mr.
Spike Milligan.
Yay! # It's time to play the music It's time to light the light # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight # It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right # It's time to get things started # Why don't you get things started How much to get things started? # It's time to get things started # On the most sensational, inspirational # Celebrational, Muppetational # This is what we call The Muppet Show # Hi, there and thank you and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
Tonight our very special guest is one of England's wildest comedians, Mr.
Spike Milligan.
We wanted Spike on the show because tonight we're presenting an international extravaganza.
We just learned that The Muppet Show is being shown in 1 08 different countries.
Uh-oh.
Better get out your old army uniform.
Yes, with 1 08 angry countries, there's bound to be trouble.
We're going to have on our show people from every one of those 1 08 countries.
And we're gonna start things off with a tribute to the Land of the Rising Sun.
# Oklahoma # Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain Am I in the right show? # Oklahoma # Every night my honey lamb and I # Sit alone and talk # And watch the hawk # Making lazy Listen, guys, I think there's a mistake here.
# We know we belong to the land # And the land we belong to is grand # And when we say Ahh! - # Yip-ai-ay - Whoa-ho! # We're only saying you're doing fine - # Oklahoma - OK! # Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma # Yokohama, Yokohama, Yokohama, Yokohama Ha-so! Yah! Ooh! Yah! Hey! Huh! Oh! Whoa! # We know we belong to the land # And the land we belong to is grand # And when we say Ho! - # Aye-yip-aye-yip-aye-a # We're only saying you're doing fine, Oklahoma # Oklahoma Y-O-K-O-H-A-M-A # Where is the Land of the Rising Sun? I don't know.
I never get up that early.
OK, to my guests.
Lovely, lovely number.
Good.
- Kermit, Oklahoma's a dangerous song.
Yes, right.
Way to go, samurai.
To your dressing room.
Whoo! What's on the schedule next? - Well Well, there seems to be a hole in the schedule now.
Boy, this salute to all the nations you're planning must really be a biggie.
Too big, maybe.
I thought you were in charge of organizing these people.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Scotsmen, Venezuelans, dressing room two.
Arabs and Eskimos, dressing room three.
Move it, boys.
Wait a second.
What are the Australians up to? We're up to this spot.
What are you Yanks down to? Come on, move it.
Move it, move it.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sam the American eagle.
My subject tonight is our friends, the British.
I have therefore asked a proper English gentleman to talk to us.
Please.
Good, good.
Good.
How do you do, sir? Queen Elizabeth the second.
What? No! No, no, no, no.
Please, sir, you are not speaking the queen's English.
Why should I? She never speaks any of mine.
There goes the knighthood.
Is it too late to get Laurence Olivier? You fool of an eagle! What? What? What say you? Silence when you speak to me.
Listen, he talks the same as I do.
No.
- Yes! He only talks proper when he's on the stage.
Where's that pencil? To be or not to be, that is the question.
See, he talks like that so that you people in the colonies can understand.
What? Sir, may we please change the subject? May we, hmm? French! Uh uh Let us talk about the quaint English custom of teatime.
My lord, tea is served.
Where did that come from? It comes from Hong Kong.
Sir, sir, sir! I thought to drink tea properly, the English extend the pinky.
Of course, the pinky, the greeny, the browny, the bluey and the reddy.
Ready, go! Stop, stop, stop! Stop, stop, sir, sir! Leave.
Leave the stage.
Leave the stage? - Yes.
You didn't think I was gonna take it away with me? Sir, you are a disgrace to England.
Let me tell you this, eagle creep.
England is not finished yet.
It's finished now.
Shockproof.
Seriously, folks, I love England, especially in this close-up.
Then show it.
Show it? - Yes.
Curtain, curtain! Terrific.
It's about time we had some sophistication on this show.
OK, ladies and gentlemen, that was Mr.
Spike Milligan.
Yeah! I hope I haven't offended any of my people.
You didn't offend me.
I thought it was very funny.
Here's your part.
America, I love you! I love you.
Will you get off? Get off! Get off! Terrific.
Nah, that's not clever.
Anyone can drop their pants.
I didn't know you were Lithuanian.
That man is a sicko.
OK, what's next? Music of Scotland, Music of Scotland on stage, please.
Hi, lad.
Right here, ready to go.
What are those? They're my bongos.
We'll have a wee bit of primitive island rhythms.
A bonny Glasgow samba.
Will you go and get your bagpipes! Cliche-ridden traditionalist.
I got trouble up here, boss.
- What? The Eskimos and the Arabs are sharing a dressing room.
So? - The Arabs want it hotter and the Eskimos want the air conditioning.
Listen, I have an introduction to make.
Try to get them to compromise.
Oh, they have compromised.
The Eskimos turned on the air conditioner and the Arabs set it on fire.
Come on, boys, get out of there.
Bring up the water hoses.
Use the fire extinguisher.
Oh, uh and now, ladies and gentlemen, continuing with our international review, here is some music of Scotland played by I hope you don't put that fire out too soon, laddie.
Why? The heat feels good when you're wearing kilts.
I don't think I want to hear about this.
Ladies and gentlemen, the music of Scotland.
Good evening and welcome to Muppet News International.
Yes, you're welcome to it.
Simultaneous translation, bringing you news and views across the language barrier.
Hello.
- Are you gonna tell them what I said? No, your secret is safe with me.
All right, here is the news.
Things look grim in the outback as rebel forces continue to fight amongst themselves.
First one side seems to be winning - Yes, yes! - then the other side gets on top.
- Then the other, yes! Casualties have been very heavy.
And strong ties between the two factions have been permanently cut.
Eyebrows were raised today at the auction rooms where a priceless antique vase came under the hammer.
Rumors of a cover up affected prices on the stock market where woolens were hit badly eventually plunging to an all-time low.
The search continues for a missing man said by police to be dangerous and more than a little screwy.
The man was known as the inventor of the pop-up toaster.
Next we have - Fall fashions! A newsman was attacked today by a mad English comic.
Really? We must find him.
# When I take my dog for a walk he takes me for a run # Dragging me along the street is his idea of fun # From lamppost to lamppost we jog along the street # From tree to tree to fire hydrant Look out, lady, watch your feet # Me and my dog have arrived We're both out of control # So, look out, anybody who's out to take a stroll # Me and my dog have a date It is a rendezvous # With a poodle who is French and her mistress on this afternoon # Then uptown we go for a meeting there with Klaus # He's a German shepherd He's the watchdog of the house # We better move right along We've dozens more to meet # Where's the place to meet dogs? Why, out here on the street # By Jove, look who's there, jolly good It's a man with a bowler hat # Walking with his English bulldog Let's stop for a chat Good evening.
- Good evening.
- # Good evening, how are you? - # Not well, thank you very much Goodbye.
Too-da-loo.
- Goodbye.
# Stop that now, don't lick that baby His mother will object # I know you didn't mean it, but please show some respect # Why, goodness gracious me, it is an Irish setter # Come on dogs, no fighting now Ah, that's much better # Look out for your leash Oh, bother, it's all knotted # Now here's a Dalmatian My goodness, look at how he's spotted # Better keep your fingers crossed in case he brings bad luck # Cross the road with care now Don't get run down by a truck # Hey, leave that rag alone Hey, leave that garbage can # Hey, stop that pulling now I'm not a Superman # Home's only five lampposts away # Oh, drat, there's a cat And look, she's coming our way # Now he's seen her that will mean that things are getting busy # Stop it, I feel dizzy Heel! Heel! Heel! Oh, please, heel.
Heel! Heel! Heel! Oh, oh.
Oh, hey, Scoots.
Yeah, the band's all ready for the big American jazz number.
Where's the little green honcho? He's trying to keep things organized in the dressing room.
It's just a mess around here today.
- Oh, yeah? Lack of international understanding? - Oh, I'll say.
Nobody on the show tonight can understand anybody else.
Oh, yeah? How do you explain that? Yeah? - Yeah.
No! Yeah.
Linoleum.
Oh, man, I'm going on stage.
It's too weird around here for me.
Now, me and the band here are hip to the international tone that our froggy foreman is trying to lay on tonight's show.
But that's no reason for not including a little of the domestic product.
Now, from West Side Story, America.
What a moldy fig session that was.
For sure, man.
That one's in there.
Go get 'em, Animal.
Sic 'em, sic 'em! Have you met my Uncle Kermit? Oh, hi, Uncle Kermit.
Have you met Luis Greco, the Morse Code flamenco dancer? Oh.
He says it's an honor just to meet you and have a chance to say hi.
The has ruined the souffle.
Oh, I think your stomping ruined the souffle.
Oh! Ooh! What did they say? - Bad news, Uncle Kermit.
Spain and Sweden have just declared war.
As if things weren't getting out of hand enough, it's now my irresponsible pleasure to introduce our very special guest star, Mr.
Spike Milligan doing a piece that he has asked me to describe as being called, "The Intergalactic Brotherhood of Man, Including Things".
Ladies and gentlemen, Spike Milligan! Still here? Sucker for punishment, eh? Now, a good evening.
Now, an appalling evening.
Now comedy weather.
With a surprise ending.
Now, who came first? Answer! - Hey! Can we have our chicken back? Please, mister.
But enough about me and my troubles.
That was the voice of Lew Zeeland.
Ha, very good evening.
They already know that, you nana! Mr.
Zeeland would only agree to reading the part "Can we have our chicken back? Please, mister?" on condition that he would then be allowed to come onstage and show his face to the people that they would remember him and care about care about his career.
Yeah.
And my boomerang fish act.
- What? What? Yeah.
Lew Zeeland and his boomerang fish act.
Every night is Friday night.
Hee hee.
Boomerang fish? Yeah, see, I throw the fish away from me.
Ice.
It all comes back to me now.
What? Thank you and good night.
- They already know it's a good night.
Hey, comedy.
- Comedy? Comedy on this show? Right again, it is comedy.
Now get out! In the happy relaxed atmosphere of international friendship which exists, despite the presence of many foreigners, we can easily overlook those alien beings lost in the wastes of the universe.
Reach out for those forms of life.
Reach out and try and ca What was that? That was very strange.
- That was very weird.
Peculiar.
- Kind of amusing.
It was rather funny.
- Incredibly funny.
I loved it.
- Hilarious.
More! Encore! Encore! - We like that strange man.
Come on, I loved you, Turk.
You're a good Kermit, Kermit, I just think it's wonderful that you have organized this parade of nations finale.
Well, it seemed like sort of a nice thing to do.
Nice, Kermit? It's humanitarian to have the citizens of the world on our little stage.
All races and colors, hand in hand in brotherhood.
Uh-huh.
Stand by for the parade of nations.
Ladies and gentlemen, the parade of nations! Stand by for the parade of nations! All right, knock it off! It's the brotherhood bit! Thank you, Miss Piggy.
I'll go introduce it.
Uh, well, as a fitting climax to tonight's international edition of The Muppet Show, here is a parade of the nations featuring our guest star, Mr.
Spike Milligan, and dedicated to one of our very favorite countries, Disneyland.
Ladies and gentlemen, It's a Small World.
# It's a world of laughter, a world of tears # It's a world of hope and a world of fears # There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world # It's a world of laughter, a world of tears # It's a world of hope and a world of fears # There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware # It's a small world after all - # It's a small world after all - Hi! - # It's a small world after all - You are making a mockery of this.
What do you mean? Get your dirty hand off my kimono.
Get out.
- Get out? What do you mean? Out, out, out, out, out out! # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all - # It's a small world after all - All right, get off, off! # It's a small, small world # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world Hey! Small world after all.
A small world after all.
It's a small, small world.
Oh! Oh! # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world I think we've come down to the end of another show.
Although some people refuse to admit it.
I hope you've enjoyed our tribute to practically everybody.
Let's welcome back our fantastic guest star, the amazing Spike Milligan.
Me.
Me not go.
Me like it here.
Me not say goodbye.
Me say, "Hello, sailor".
Anyhow, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! # It's a small world after all - # It's a small world after all - Spike? # It's a small, small world Shut up! Will you guys cut that out? Shut up! # And it's time we're aware - # It's a small world after all - Shut up! # It's a small world after all Can we kill the music? Can we stop this? Stop the music! Stop the music! - Will you guys cut it out! You guys cut that out.
- # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world
Spike Milligan? - Yes.
Thirty seconds to curtain.
It's 30 seconds to the curtain, it's five and 1 1 to the floor.
I'll take the curtain.
Say, what's that you're wearing? My family crest.
What's that? - A coat of arms.
It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Mr.
Spike Milligan.
Yay! # It's time to play the music It's time to light the light # It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight # It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right # It's time to get things started # Why don't you get things started How much to get things started? # It's time to get things started # On the most sensational, inspirational # Celebrational, Muppetational # This is what we call The Muppet Show # Hi, there and thank you and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
Tonight our very special guest is one of England's wildest comedians, Mr.
Spike Milligan.
We wanted Spike on the show because tonight we're presenting an international extravaganza.
We just learned that The Muppet Show is being shown in 1 08 different countries.
Uh-oh.
Better get out your old army uniform.
Yes, with 1 08 angry countries, there's bound to be trouble.
We're going to have on our show people from every one of those 1 08 countries.
And we're gonna start things off with a tribute to the Land of the Rising Sun.
# Oklahoma # Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain Am I in the right show? # Oklahoma # Every night my honey lamb and I # Sit alone and talk # And watch the hawk # Making lazy Listen, guys, I think there's a mistake here.
# We know we belong to the land # And the land we belong to is grand # And when we say Ahh! - # Yip-ai-ay - Whoa-ho! # We're only saying you're doing fine - # Oklahoma - OK! # Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma # Yokohama, Yokohama, Yokohama, Yokohama Ha-so! Yah! Ooh! Yah! Hey! Huh! Oh! Whoa! # We know we belong to the land # And the land we belong to is grand # And when we say Ho! - # Aye-yip-aye-yip-aye-a # We're only saying you're doing fine, Oklahoma # Oklahoma Y-O-K-O-H-A-M-A # Where is the Land of the Rising Sun? I don't know.
I never get up that early.
OK, to my guests.
Lovely, lovely number.
Good.
- Kermit, Oklahoma's a dangerous song.
Yes, right.
Way to go, samurai.
To your dressing room.
Whoo! What's on the schedule next? - Well Well, there seems to be a hole in the schedule now.
Boy, this salute to all the nations you're planning must really be a biggie.
Too big, maybe.
I thought you were in charge of organizing these people.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Scotsmen, Venezuelans, dressing room two.
Arabs and Eskimos, dressing room three.
Move it, boys.
Wait a second.
What are the Australians up to? We're up to this spot.
What are you Yanks down to? Come on, move it.
Move it, move it.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sam the American eagle.
My subject tonight is our friends, the British.
I have therefore asked a proper English gentleman to talk to us.
Please.
Good, good.
Good.
How do you do, sir? Queen Elizabeth the second.
What? No! No, no, no, no.
Please, sir, you are not speaking the queen's English.
Why should I? She never speaks any of mine.
There goes the knighthood.
Is it too late to get Laurence Olivier? You fool of an eagle! What? What? What say you? Silence when you speak to me.
Listen, he talks the same as I do.
No.
- Yes! He only talks proper when he's on the stage.
Where's that pencil? To be or not to be, that is the question.
See, he talks like that so that you people in the colonies can understand.
What? Sir, may we please change the subject? May we, hmm? French! Uh uh Let us talk about the quaint English custom of teatime.
My lord, tea is served.
Where did that come from? It comes from Hong Kong.
Sir, sir, sir! I thought to drink tea properly, the English extend the pinky.
Of course, the pinky, the greeny, the browny, the bluey and the reddy.
Ready, go! Stop, stop, stop! Stop, stop, sir, sir! Leave.
Leave the stage.
Leave the stage? - Yes.
You didn't think I was gonna take it away with me? Sir, you are a disgrace to England.
Let me tell you this, eagle creep.
England is not finished yet.
It's finished now.
Shockproof.
Seriously, folks, I love England, especially in this close-up.
Then show it.
Show it? - Yes.
Curtain, curtain! Terrific.
It's about time we had some sophistication on this show.
OK, ladies and gentlemen, that was Mr.
Spike Milligan.
Yeah! I hope I haven't offended any of my people.
You didn't offend me.
I thought it was very funny.
Here's your part.
America, I love you! I love you.
Will you get off? Get off! Get off! Terrific.
Nah, that's not clever.
Anyone can drop their pants.
I didn't know you were Lithuanian.
That man is a sicko.
OK, what's next? Music of Scotland, Music of Scotland on stage, please.
Hi, lad.
Right here, ready to go.
What are those? They're my bongos.
We'll have a wee bit of primitive island rhythms.
A bonny Glasgow samba.
Will you go and get your bagpipes! Cliche-ridden traditionalist.
I got trouble up here, boss.
- What? The Eskimos and the Arabs are sharing a dressing room.
So? - The Arabs want it hotter and the Eskimos want the air conditioning.
Listen, I have an introduction to make.
Try to get them to compromise.
Oh, they have compromised.
The Eskimos turned on the air conditioner and the Arabs set it on fire.
Come on, boys, get out of there.
Bring up the water hoses.
Use the fire extinguisher.
Oh, uh and now, ladies and gentlemen, continuing with our international review, here is some music of Scotland played by I hope you don't put that fire out too soon, laddie.
Why? The heat feels good when you're wearing kilts.
I don't think I want to hear about this.
Ladies and gentlemen, the music of Scotland.
Good evening and welcome to Muppet News International.
Yes, you're welcome to it.
Simultaneous translation, bringing you news and views across the language barrier.
Hello.
- Are you gonna tell them what I said? No, your secret is safe with me.
All right, here is the news.
Things look grim in the outback as rebel forces continue to fight amongst themselves.
First one side seems to be winning - Yes, yes! - then the other side gets on top.
- Then the other, yes! Casualties have been very heavy.
And strong ties between the two factions have been permanently cut.
Eyebrows were raised today at the auction rooms where a priceless antique vase came under the hammer.
Rumors of a cover up affected prices on the stock market where woolens were hit badly eventually plunging to an all-time low.
The search continues for a missing man said by police to be dangerous and more than a little screwy.
The man was known as the inventor of the pop-up toaster.
Next we have - Fall fashions! A newsman was attacked today by a mad English comic.
Really? We must find him.
# When I take my dog for a walk he takes me for a run # Dragging me along the street is his idea of fun # From lamppost to lamppost we jog along the street # From tree to tree to fire hydrant Look out, lady, watch your feet # Me and my dog have arrived We're both out of control # So, look out, anybody who's out to take a stroll # Me and my dog have a date It is a rendezvous # With a poodle who is French and her mistress on this afternoon # Then uptown we go for a meeting there with Klaus # He's a German shepherd He's the watchdog of the house # We better move right along We've dozens more to meet # Where's the place to meet dogs? Why, out here on the street # By Jove, look who's there, jolly good It's a man with a bowler hat # Walking with his English bulldog Let's stop for a chat Good evening.
- Good evening.
- # Good evening, how are you? - # Not well, thank you very much Goodbye.
Too-da-loo.
- Goodbye.
# Stop that now, don't lick that baby His mother will object # I know you didn't mean it, but please show some respect # Why, goodness gracious me, it is an Irish setter # Come on dogs, no fighting now Ah, that's much better # Look out for your leash Oh, bother, it's all knotted # Now here's a Dalmatian My goodness, look at how he's spotted # Better keep your fingers crossed in case he brings bad luck # Cross the road with care now Don't get run down by a truck # Hey, leave that rag alone Hey, leave that garbage can # Hey, stop that pulling now I'm not a Superman # Home's only five lampposts away # Oh, drat, there's a cat And look, she's coming our way # Now he's seen her that will mean that things are getting busy # Stop it, I feel dizzy Heel! Heel! Heel! Oh, please, heel.
Heel! Heel! Heel! Oh, oh.
Oh, hey, Scoots.
Yeah, the band's all ready for the big American jazz number.
Where's the little green honcho? He's trying to keep things organized in the dressing room.
It's just a mess around here today.
- Oh, yeah? Lack of international understanding? - Oh, I'll say.
Nobody on the show tonight can understand anybody else.
Oh, yeah? How do you explain that? Yeah? - Yeah.
No! Yeah.
Linoleum.
Oh, man, I'm going on stage.
It's too weird around here for me.
Now, me and the band here are hip to the international tone that our froggy foreman is trying to lay on tonight's show.
But that's no reason for not including a little of the domestic product.
Now, from West Side Story, America.
What a moldy fig session that was.
For sure, man.
That one's in there.
Go get 'em, Animal.
Sic 'em, sic 'em! Have you met my Uncle Kermit? Oh, hi, Uncle Kermit.
Have you met Luis Greco, the Morse Code flamenco dancer? Oh.
He says it's an honor just to meet you and have a chance to say hi.
The has ruined the souffle.
Oh, I think your stomping ruined the souffle.
Oh! Ooh! What did they say? - Bad news, Uncle Kermit.
Spain and Sweden have just declared war.
As if things weren't getting out of hand enough, it's now my irresponsible pleasure to introduce our very special guest star, Mr.
Spike Milligan doing a piece that he has asked me to describe as being called, "The Intergalactic Brotherhood of Man, Including Things".
Ladies and gentlemen, Spike Milligan! Still here? Sucker for punishment, eh? Now, a good evening.
Now, an appalling evening.
Now comedy weather.
With a surprise ending.
Now, who came first? Answer! - Hey! Can we have our chicken back? Please, mister.
But enough about me and my troubles.
That was the voice of Lew Zeeland.
Ha, very good evening.
They already know that, you nana! Mr.
Zeeland would only agree to reading the part "Can we have our chicken back? Please, mister?" on condition that he would then be allowed to come onstage and show his face to the people that they would remember him and care about care about his career.
Yeah.
And my boomerang fish act.
- What? What? Yeah.
Lew Zeeland and his boomerang fish act.
Every night is Friday night.
Hee hee.
Boomerang fish? Yeah, see, I throw the fish away from me.
Ice.
It all comes back to me now.
What? Thank you and good night.
- They already know it's a good night.
Hey, comedy.
- Comedy? Comedy on this show? Right again, it is comedy.
Now get out! In the happy relaxed atmosphere of international friendship which exists, despite the presence of many foreigners, we can easily overlook those alien beings lost in the wastes of the universe.
Reach out for those forms of life.
Reach out and try and ca What was that? That was very strange.
- That was very weird.
Peculiar.
- Kind of amusing.
It was rather funny.
- Incredibly funny.
I loved it.
- Hilarious.
More! Encore! Encore! - We like that strange man.
Come on, I loved you, Turk.
You're a good Kermit, Kermit, I just think it's wonderful that you have organized this parade of nations finale.
Well, it seemed like sort of a nice thing to do.
Nice, Kermit? It's humanitarian to have the citizens of the world on our little stage.
All races and colors, hand in hand in brotherhood.
Uh-huh.
Stand by for the parade of nations.
Ladies and gentlemen, the parade of nations! Stand by for the parade of nations! All right, knock it off! It's the brotherhood bit! Thank you, Miss Piggy.
I'll go introduce it.
Uh, well, as a fitting climax to tonight's international edition of The Muppet Show, here is a parade of the nations featuring our guest star, Mr.
Spike Milligan, and dedicated to one of our very favorite countries, Disneyland.
Ladies and gentlemen, It's a Small World.
# It's a world of laughter, a world of tears # It's a world of hope and a world of fears # There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world # It's a world of laughter, a world of tears # It's a world of hope and a world of fears # There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware # It's a small world after all - # It's a small world after all - Hi! - # It's a small world after all - You are making a mockery of this.
What do you mean? Get your dirty hand off my kimono.
Get out.
- Get out? What do you mean? Out, out, out, out, out out! # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all - # It's a small world after all - All right, get off, off! # It's a small, small world # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world Hey! Small world after all.
A small world after all.
It's a small, small world.
Oh! Oh! # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world I think we've come down to the end of another show.
Although some people refuse to admit it.
I hope you've enjoyed our tribute to practically everybody.
Let's welcome back our fantastic guest star, the amazing Spike Milligan.
Me.
Me not go.
Me like it here.
Me not say goodbye.
Me say, "Hello, sailor".
Anyhow, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show! # It's a small world after all - # It's a small world after all - Spike? # It's a small, small world Shut up! Will you guys cut that out? Shut up! # And it's time we're aware - # It's a small world after all - Shut up! # It's a small world after all Can we kill the music? Can we stop this? Stop the music! Stop the music! - Will you guys cut it out! You guys cut that out.
- # It's a small world after all # It's a small, small world