This is Us (2016) s03e17 Episode Script

1 Previously on This Is Us When I thought you weren't coming, I I left you a voice mail.
You mean the one where you belittled me and told me to grow the hell up? You know what, Randall, you still have that cot at your office? You should go sleep on it.
I'm not sleeping in Philadelphia, Beth.
We can't keep simmering like this forever.
Fine.
You want to do this right now? Let's do this.
Close the door.
- Beth, if you think you - No.
Mm-mm.
Me first.
I am looking at you right now, but I don't even recognize you.
Because my husband, the man that I married, would never talk to me the way that you did on that voice mail, ever.
I know.
And I'm sorry.
That message was a gross misstep.
A misstep? Randall, your Coogi sweater phase in college, that's a misstep.
Okay? What you said What-what were your exact words? That I teach "bored housewives how to twirl"? I didn't mean it.
I was just I was trying to hurt your feelings.
I thought you were standing me up, and I Why would I stand you up? When have I ever not had your back? Never.
But if we're being honest, Beth, our rhythm has been off.
All right? It's been off for months.
No, no.
My rhythm is fine; your rhythm is off.
And it's off because you're not getting what you want.
- I'm not getting what I want? - No.
Because I refuse to give up my own life to accommodate yours.
I've never asked Oh, my I am killing myself driving to Philly and back every day.
If I'm lucky, I get a chance to catch the girls before they go to bed.
If not, then I'm stuck sleeping on a pull-out in my office.
I'm not even sworn in yet, Beth, and I am already swamped.
But I still make it back for your dance recital.
And I still make it home to watch the girls every time you have an evening class, because I want you to have your own life.
No, you don't.
You just realized I'm not gonna stop teaching, but you are definitely not on board.
No, no.
For the past 20 years, I have stood by your side through every whim, every pipe dream, every flight of fancy that you can think of.
And for the first time, the first time, I have a flight of fancy.
Something that I want.
And still, it becomes about you.
Damn it, Randall, we have been having the same fight since we met.
- Oh.
- Oh, I I-I'm sorry.
No problem.
Kevin, she's not just any ol' girl.
KEVIN (ON PHONE): Yes, she is.
That's exactly what she is, man.
Ask her out.
I can't just walk up to Beth Clarke and go, "Hey, Beth, I'm Randall you know, the guy who holds the door open for everyone in econ class just so he can casually hold it open for you without it being weird.
" Yeah, that guy.
Want to go grab a pizza or something?" You're definitely gonna die a virgin.
- I'm not gonna die a virgin.
- You might.
Shut up, Nathan, and stop listening to my phone calls.
- Forget it.
- No, dude.
I'm sorry.
I Don't hang up.
Um, Sophie's in class all day.
I lost my MetroCard.
New York sucks.
I want to help.
Um Call Beth's dorm.
Use a different phone so I can listen, and I'll tell you what to say.
- Are you serious? - Yeah.
Trust me.
Steve Martin did it in that movie where he's got the-the big nose, and I have way more game than him.
(PHONE RINGING) Hello.
Kev, she picked up.
She picked up, Kev.
Great.
Tell her, "You don't know who I am, but you're about to.
" - I'm not saying that.
- Do you want my help or not? BETH: Hello? Hey.
You may not know who I am, but you're about to.
Who is this? Rand Randall Pearson.
Oh.
Uh (CHUCKLES) Randall.
What's going on? She asked me what's going on.
Tell her you're taking her to dinner tomorrow night, and you want to know what time to pick her up.
(CHUCKLING): Hey, so I'm gonna take you out to dinner tomorrow night.
What time should I come pick you up? U-Um, Randall, are you are you asking me out? Yes.
I guess I am.
Okay.
Um Uh, 7 o'clock? Really? Yeah, I'll go out with you.
Once.
Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow, then.
- Holy crap.
- Holy crap.
(SHRIEKS, LAUGHS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) I was surprised you said yes.
You probably get asked out on dates all the time.
Not really.
You're an architecture major.
I thought you might want to study dance.
No.
What made you think that? I asked around about you.
Well, you got some bad Intel.
I used to dance, but not anymore.
RANDALL: Hmm.
Ever? Like, if someone put on some Miseducation of Lauryn Hill right now, you wouldn't cut a rug? (LAUGHS) Okay.
Um, well, first of all, you don't dance to Lauryn Hill; you groove.
And secondly, who says "cut a rug"? A lot of people say "cut a rug.
" White people.
Well, I was raised by white people.
I'm adopted.
You'd be surprised how hard that is to ease in the conversation.
Mm.
Yeah, I didn't know.
Well, maybe you should have asked around about me.
I was dropped off at a fire station the day I was born.
And a fireman brought me to a hospital, and my dad convinced my mom to adopt me.
He died earlier this year.
(CHUCKLING): My dad.
It was a heart attack, and I'm sorry, Beth.
Uh I'm not used to saying that out loud yet.
I'm sorry.
Um Uh, my dad passed away last year.
He was sick for a while, but it still felt so sudden.
Yeah.
I think we're ready to order.
Sorry, but my manager asked if you could pay for your meal first.
Um, is there something wrong? WAITER: No, it's a restaurant policy.
Well, did-did all these people pay for their meal in advance, or is that policy just for us? Beth, it's fine.
You know, we probably just, you know, look a little young to be here, I guess.
So I'll pay.
The money's right here.
Uh, I don't know how much the - check is gonna be, but - Okay, okay.
No, um Randall, no, put your checkbook away.
We're not we're not eating here.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hey, Beth.
Beth, wait up.
Beth.
Beth.
Beth, wait up.
Wait up, Beth.
You were actually gonna hand over your check - like that was okay.
- Of course it isn't okay, but I-I didn't want to ruin the date.
Okay, okay, look, Randall, you're a very nice guy, and everyone at school has been trying to set me up with you 'cause we're pretty much the only two black kids there, but you're just (SIGHS) Y-You're-You're a lot.
And this date was a lot.
What do you mean? Um, you want to know what my idea of the perfect date is? It's nachos.
It's-it's ginger beer and nachos.
This? All this, this-this restaurant and-and the flowers, and I mean, you're in a suit and tie.
It is 78 degrees right now.
Aren't you hot? I mean, it's a little hot, yeah, but Then take off the stupid jacket.
It's not a stupid jacket.
You're trying to start a fight with me, but I don't want to fight with you.
I-I grew up in a house with parents who didn't fight.
I I mean, Th-they-they fought once.
It-it was actually pretty rough.
I came home early and watched the entire thing Okay, Randall, I've known you for ten minutes.
Just stop telling me this stuff.
- It's-it's too much.
- Beth.
B-Beth.
Stop it.
You can't just walk off like that.
This jacket i-is the nicest thing I own, and I-I wore it because I wanted to look nice for you.
These flowers? I didn't know what you'd like, so I bought four bouquets.
My dorm is literally covered in flowers.
I I-I just thought you deserved a great first date.
(SIGHS) I think you deserve everything.
Um I-I have to go, Randall.
Again, you're-you're a very nice guy, but please don't call me again.
(RANDALL SIGHS) So? How'd it go? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Good.
I'm gonna marry her.
(CHUCKLES) Who knew we'd make it this far? Then I think about, where would I be - If we were to just fall apart? - (BETH LAUGHING) And I can't stand the thought of losing you (SINGING ALONG): Meet me at the altar In your white dress We ain't getting no younger, we might as well do it Been feeling you all the while, girl, I must confess Girl, let's just get married I just want to get married Beth, love of my life, will you marry me? We might as well do it I need to work.
- You need to stop proposing.
- So, is that a "yes"? It's a "not yet.
" Ah.
Well, at least we're getting closer.
When I proposed on the jumbotron at the Pirates game, you said, "Hell no," so "not yet" is a step in the right direction.
- Baby? - I Yeah.
You are it for me.
After seven unbelievable years, you think I want to break in another boyfriend? (CHUCKLES) I'm just not ready to get married.
- We don't have to rush.
- I know.
BETH: Mmm.
I want to give you my all Do you think about maybe us having some babies? Come on, won't you be my lady forever? RANDALL: Mmm.
Wait.
Oh, we got to get out of here, or we're gonna be late for Sunday dinner at my mom's.
Well, what if we don't do, uh, Sunday dinner tonight? You don't want to have dinner at Mom's? Yeah, no, that I mean, we just have dinner at your mom's every Sunday.
We could go miniature golfing.
You and I haven't been miniature golfing in a while.
- Ooh, mini golf used to be our jam.
- Yeah.
I bet Mom's gonna love that.
Been feeling you all the while, girl I am having so much fun.
Maybe next time we can go bowling.
Yeah, maybe.
So, Rebecca, you seeing anyone? - Me? No.
- Yeah.
You know, one of my professors is recently separated, - and he is totally into - No, no, no, no.
No, Beth.
No, thank you.
Sorry, but I'm-I'm fine.
All I want is for my kids to find the right people and, you know, settle down, maybe say yes to one of their proposals - at some point.
- (RANDALL WHOOPS) Okay, Randall one, farmhouse zero.
Babe, I took your turn, so - Mom, you're up.
- Okay.
Did you tell your mom about all of the proposals? Yes? Including the one where we were I-I told it to her very tastefully.
I didn't give her any details.
What? It's normal to tell your mom about proposing.
There is nothing normal about this.
- Honestly, Beth, it's my fault.
- Rebecca.
- I shouldn't - Rebecca, I'm trying to have a private conversation with Randall right now.
Sorry.
I'll let you two have your own conversation.
No.
Mom.
Mom.
Beth, if you have something to say, say it.
Really, Randall? You want to do this right now? Fine.
I love you, but I'm not ready to get married because I haven't figured out my life yet, and I don't want What? What don't you want? I don't want my life to be consumed by my husband's.
And, Randall, I love you, but you consume things.
Well, let me put your mind at ease.
You don't have to worry about me proposing again.
- Randall, that's not even what I - No, I need a minute.
All right? I'll see you two by the car.
May I? Rebecca, I didn't mean to say that.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no.
It's-it's fine, Beth.
You think I want my son ending up with some wallflower? No.
I'm glad it's gonna be you.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Marriage is complicated.
I know my son's passions tend to overwhelm, but you don't need to worry about losing yourself with him, because he'll never let that happen.
How do you know? (REBECCA EXHALES) When Randall was 11, we stayed at the cabin for the summer.
And I remember sitting out on the steps with him, looking up at the stars.
I was trying to find the Big Dipper.
And he started crying.
Hyperventilating.
Having an anxiety attack.
And after he calmed down, he told me why he was upset.
You know, he was looking up at this big, open sky, and he felt really small.
He was scared because he didn't know where he fit in the universe.
Well, seven years ago, after he met you, he called me.
Told me he no longer had that fear.
Hey.
Come on, Randall.
We're going somewhere.
- What about my mom? - Forget about your mom.
She told me to say that.
Her words, not mine.
(RANDALL SIGHS) Are you gonna tell me what we're doing here? Not yet.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Can I get a number-two nachos with extra cheese? You can throw some jalapeños on there.
And a ginger beer.
- Ice-cold if you have it.
- Coming right up.
- Beth.
- Not yet.
Ow.
Hey.
Okay.
I'm ready.
Ask me.
- Right now? - Yeah.
This is my favorite meal.
You're my favorite person.
This is how I want it.
I know you don't have the ring.
It's fine.
It doesn't have Oh, my God.
- Really? - Our front door barely locks.
You think I leave this in the apartment? All right, look, before you do this, we're not gonna lose ourselves in each other.
We're gonna be full people.
Equals.
We're a team.
All right, go ahead.
(BETH CHUCKLES) (BETH SNIFFLES, SIGHS) ("THOUSAND" BY ROSIE CARNEY PLAYING) (BETH CRYING) How are we crying already? We've done this a million times.
She sings sweet things Beth Clarke you are the love of my life.
After the laughter You are my reason.
You are my joy.
You are my everything.
Dust grows And I don't want to do life without you, so will you marry me? Can't grow I don't want to do life without you, either.
Yes.
Yes.
I know I've got more to give (WHISPERS): Yes! (RANDALL LAUGHS) - KATE: Beth? - BETH: Yeah.
Holy crap.
How can you guys afford this house? I got lost finding your bedroom.
That's why we're having the wedding in the backyard.
- Suburbs ain't cheap.
- Okay, well, - are you ready to get your wedding on? - Yeah, almost.
What rhymes with "love"? Dove.
Shove.
Glove.
Above.
Above! That's it.
Thank you.
What rhymes with "forever"? Beth, you're getting married in five minutes.
- What is happening? - I'm writing my vows.
- Right now? - Yeah, I wanted to do them last week, but then all these last-minute things came up.
And, you know, I mean, I just need a few more minutes, Kate.
- Can you stall them, please? - Okay.
Um, yes.
But hurry.
Ooh! Endeavor.
- What? - Rhymes with "forever.
" - Oh! - Yeah.
That's why I love you, sister-in-law.
- (KNOCK ON DOOR) - KEVIN: Hey-o.
- Yeah.
Is it time? - (DOOR OPENS) Almost.
Beth needs a few minutes.
She's just going over her vows.
She's probably getting nervous 'cause she knows mine - are gonna be epic.
- Nice.
Been perfecting these bad boys all week.
- Wow.
- RANDALL: Yeah, yeah.
(CHUCKLES): That's a lot that's that's a lot of w How-how-how long is this? I don't know.
Like, five, six minutes? Okay.
Well, in acting, you know, we typically say a script is, like, uh, like, a minute a page.
Okay? But this is, uh, 12-point, single-spaced.
(LAUGHING): This right here, you She's gonna die of old age before you finish it - if you read that to her.
- Okay.
I guess they could use some cuts.
All right, no problem.
Let's just, uh We'll start from the beginning, okay, - and we'll-we'll see what we can trim.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
We're fine.
- All right.
(SIGHS) "Greek philosopher Plato defined marriage as a conceptual agreement between two.
A prominent institution regulating" Don't care.
Cut it.
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Um, how about this? Um - Let's keep going.
"A deconstruction of Prince's 1991 album Diamonds and Pearls reveals that this will be the day - that you" - Oh, cut that.
Cut that.
Listen, just, here's the thing, man.
Just go to the time where you start talking about Beth.
- Okay.
- Start from there.
RANDALL: Um - Okay.
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay, Kev, I I don't think I wrote vows.
I think I wrote a deeply boring dissertation on marriage.
Will you will you go tell Beth I need more time? Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Bride is ready.
BAD NEWS: the groom is not.
He's rewriting his vows.
- What? - Yeah.
He's rewriting his vows? Wow.
So pretty.
Are you freaking kidding me? Beth, I don't think we need to overreact.
Randall Pearson.
Close your eyes, 'cause I'm coming in.
- Kev? - (CHUCKLING) You got something, like, right here.
- Sort of - Oh, you're very funny.
What are you doing in here? It's bad luck to see each other - before the wedding.
- Well, that's why I'm not looking.
How the hell are you still writing your vows? No, I'm not writing them.
I'm-I'm revising them.
Okay? And you're one to talk.
Kevin said you were still working on yours.
Well, the reason mine aren't written is because I've been working on getting this wedding ready all week.
Which I did on my own, mind you, because you were too busy writing the wedding vows of the century.
I was just trying to make them perfect.
Wait.
You really feel like you planned this wedding all by yourself? No, I'm just stressed.
Um what do you want to do about the vows? Let's just write them together.
You know? Right now.
You want to co-write the wedding vows? Yeah.
Randall, we're better together.
That's why we're doing this whole thing.
Come on.
Right now, let's just take turns and speak from the heart.
Okay? Come here.
(RANDALL STAMMERS, SIGHS) But we shouldn't look at each other.
Just Okay.
What? (EXHALES) Beth I'm sorry I spent too much time working on my vows.
As you well know, sometimes I overthink things.
Overthink everything.
All right, you're right.
As you know, sometimes I overthink everything.
But not with you.
Every part of me belongs to you.
- What about Janet? - Right again.
Except for that very small part of me that I promised to Janet Jackson when I was 16.
Your heart is unlike anything I've ever known.
You're my steady place, Beth.
I'm the best version of me when I'm with you.
And that's not just because you stepped my fashion game up.
Which I did, for the record.
Well, let the record reflect your contribution.
Beth I want to be the man that you deserve.
And I promise to spend the rest of my life earning your love, because you are the only thing the only thing I'm ever going to need.
Randall, I wasn't expecting you.
I didn't think that we would end up together.
The single most extraordinary thing I've ever done with my life is falling in love with you.
I've never been seen so completely loved so passionately protected so fiercely.
Is that off the dome? 'Cause damn, baby, - that was nice.
- Right? Yeah, yeah.
Honestly, Randall, when I look in your eyes, I see my home.
I see eternity.
And no matter what may come our way I promise that I'll always choose you.
I love you.
I love you, too.
- Let's go get married.
- (SNIFFLES) - Okay.
- We were living in the shadows On the wall They were left there by the sun We were living In the shadows on the wall (CHEERING) They were left there By the sun We were looking At the past for oh, so long - (SIGHS) Sorry, baby.
- (TESS FUSSING) It's 3:00 a.
m.
, and Daddy does not know where he is.
- Oh, you're using the wrong wipes.
- Oh, geez.
- You're using the wrong wipes.
- Then why are they here? - BETH: She likes the smell.
- What, you buy the wrong wipes just so that she can smell them? Am I tired, or does that make no sense at all? I don't know, honestly.
Move.
I'll do it.
Uh-uh.
You asked me to do it.
I have to be at work in four hours, and you woke me up anyway, so just let me do it.
- Did you put the butt paste first? - Can you back up, please? I'm perfectly capable of changing my daughter's diaper without any supervision.
Just let me do it so I can go back to bed.
- I'm freaking exhausted.
- I work 72 hours a week.
- You don't think I'm exhausted? - Oh, pfft.
- Oh, pfft.
- You pfft! - Pfft you! - You pfft, pfft! - Pfft! - (BETH WHIMPERS) BETH: I don't even know what the hell we're fighting about.
It's baby wipes, I think.
Oh, I feel drunk.
You better not be drunk.
- You hungry? - I could eat.
- Nachos? - Oh, God, that sounds good.
Extra cheesy, extra greasy nachos for the lady - coming right up.
- Oh, yes.
Make sure you wash your hands first.
You leave me alone.
BETH: Yeah, she's strapped into her stroller, and I'm not even near the edge of the pond or anything, but I just keep seeing her falling in.
- Jesus, Beth.
- I know, right? Okay, let's play a game.
Barring death, what's the worst-case scenario for our baby? Anything goes? Lay it on me, Mama.
That she can't dance.
That she don't have no rhythm.
Don't look at me like that.
- That's a real fear.
- (LAUGHS): Okay.
- Your turn.
- Mm That she's covered in tattoos.
You know, call me old-fashioned, but I don't want T-Pain making a song about my daughter.
That she forgets me when my maternity leave ends and I go back to work.
That is worst-case for me.
That these past three months with her just weren't enough.
I thought you were looking forward to going back to work.
I was.
I still am.
Hey.
Beth, we'll figure out a way to make it work.
Yeah, sounds good, but, you know, "making it work" usually means I adjust, I make it work.
- What does that mean? - (CHUCKLES) Nothing.
No! You can't "nothing" that.
- Say it.
- Oh, come on, Randall, let's be real you're not gonna quit your job, so if somebody has to make it work, it's gonna be me.
I have to lose something.
That's not true.
You know what? I have this theory.
Hear me out.
- Okay.
- So, there are three different kinds of nachos, right? - Uh-huh.
- There are the crumbs, the little scraps with all the salt at the bottom.
They stick to your fingers.
They mess up your clothes.
They're nasty.
- Nobody likes them, right? - Okay.
Then there are the chipped nachos, okay? There's no smooth edges.
Sometimes they catch cheese.
Sometimes they're just a plain chip.
They're fine.
And then there's the cream of the crop.
The whole nacho with lots of cheese and the perfect amount of toppings.
Unbroken, fully coated - triangles of goodness.
- (LAUGHS): Wait.
It's 4:00 in the morning, and you're giving me a dissertation on nachos? No, you know I be philosophizing.
- (CHUCKLES): Yeah, well - Now, I was thinking, you know what's great about us, Randall, is that when I need nachos, you make them for me.
And I love that.
But you're the kind of person who goes for the whole chip with lots of cheese.
You don't do it on purpose.
You're just a whole chip with a lot of cheese kind of person.
And so am I, yet Wait, no.
I don't leave you with the crumbs.
(CHUCKLES) What, do you feel like I leave you with the crumbs? No, don't spiral.
I don't I don't even know what I'm saying, okay? I'm exhausted.
Yeah, well, I'll never eat nachos again, so there you go.
No.
Oh, come on.
All right, come on.
Let's just go to bed, all right? Before our little screamer wakes us up again.
We'll just clean that up in the morning.
So I told this cat, "I'm never playing dominoes - in this joint again.
" - (LAUGHTER) - Oh, there she is.
- Hey, guys.
Hey, you hungry? - Kev made pancakes.
- I see that.
KEVIN: Yeah, Beth, I was talking to Randall earlier, and the Wi-Fi in the basement, it's subpar.
- It's very spotty.
- Uh, 'cause it's a basement.
Well, why am I in the basement? 'Cause, you know, William over here, he's upstairs, he's in Annie's room.
'Cause that's how we do it over here at Hotel Pearson.
You know? Estranged fathers go upstairs, television star brothers go downstairs.
- Mm.
All right.
- All right, well, I'm headed out.
- Where to? - I'm going to this Urban Development Leadership Conference in Hershey, Pennsylvania.
- WILLIAM: Sounds cool.
- Just for a night.
- KEVIN: Great.
- So, uh, Cindy's parents can't drop off Annie, so can you pick her up from her sleepover? Yes, ma'am.
Will Hill and I are on the job.
- All right, love you.
- Love you, too.
- Mm.
Bye.
- Bye, guys.
KEVIN: You know what we should do? - RANDALL: What do you want to do? - Right now? Dominoes, for money.
Oh, no, no.
I'm not I'm not gonna take your guys' money.
(OVERLAPPING ARGUING) KEVIN: You're scared.
You look scared to me.
- WILLIAM: Oh, boy.
- I'll take your money.
RANDALL: Go get him.
How far away does Annie's friend live? - We're almost there.
- Hmm.
(PHONE CHIMES) RANDALL: Oh, you know how to text? - I'm dying.
I'm not a hundred.
- (CHUCKLES) Jesse's trying to get me to go to this Charles Lloyd concert tonight, but the show doesn't start till 9:00.
Well, I know we run a tight ship, William, but it's okay for you to stay out past curfew.
Well, thank you, but these things end late, and I don't want to have to spend the night at his place.
The man's apartment is freezing.
Why don't you just ask him, "Hey, Jesse, mind if we turn on the heat?" Nah, I don't want him to have to change his routine on account of me.
It's easier if I just make an excuse not to stay over.
No, man, it's easier to talk to him.
You know, me and Beth, we don't sit on stuff.
We talk to each other.
Nothing beats honest, open communication.
Okay, Uncle Phil.
I'll think on it.
Oh, we making Fresh Prince references now, huh? - How old do you actually think I am? - (BOTH LAUGH) Hey, pull over.
I want to get some more syrup for them leftover pancakes.
Might have it for dinner.
Right on.
Maybe down here, son.
Yeah.
Beth? Why aren't you in Hershey? I, uh I'm gonna go find that syrup.
Give you a chance to do some of that great communicating you're so proud of.
- What are you doing here? - Buying syrup.
What are you doing here? Don't jump to conclusions.
- It's not what you think.
- Swedish Fish.
What, you stopping at the movies on your way to Hershey? That doesn't explain that bottle of wine.
- Randall, I - Or did you make up a conference so you could secretly check into a hotel for the night to watch movies and drink that bottle of wine - and eat Swedish Fish? - Damn, that's impressive.
What the hell, Beth? I just needed 24 hours to myself.
Away from biological fathers and white brothers.
And don't get me wrong, I adore them.
I adore William.
I tolerate Kevin.
But it's a lot.
So I lied.
I just needed 24 hours.
Not to be a wife and a mother and a caretaker and a housekeeper.
I just I just want to be a woman who sleeps in a big-ass hotel bed and watches movies and-and reruns of Living Single from my iPad in my big-ass Jacuzzi tub, and I Okay, I get it.
- There's a lot going on in our house.
- Yes.
But if you needed space, why not just ask for it I have asked! I have asked.
And the last time I asked, it became a one-act play about "what's wrong" and-and "why do I need a day alone?" By the time I convinced you it was nothing bigger, the day was over, and it was I was exhausted.
I wouldn't have been awake to watch a single Living Single.
I-I'm sorry.
I love you.
- I feel terrible that I lied.
- I don't want you to feel like you have to run away from us.
I don't.
I swear.
There's just a lot of men living in my house.
And I broke.
(BETH CRYING) Okay.
- All right, go enjoy your 24 hours.
- (LAUGHS) Uh, will you just answer me one thing? What episode of Living Single are you gonna start with? The one where Max and Kyle sleep together and wake up in the La-Z-Boy all freaked out.
- I love that episode.
- (LAUGHS) Hey, you remember when Obie brought Kyle Max's suede pump, and Kyle was like, "And to think I actually drank out of this.
" (BOTH LAUGHING) That was so nasty.
RANDALL (LAUGHING): Oh, man.
Well, now I don't want to watch it without you.
Go.
What are you talking about? No.
I'm coming home.
Go get William's syrup.
Tell him the one that he likes is in aisle four.
Are you sure? 'Cause I don't mind you having your day.
I'm sure.
And Kevin's out of toilet paper.
He likes the lavender-scented one.
Pick up the lavender-scented one.
I'm on it.
I am tired of having this fight.
We have been having the same fight ever since we met.
I don't want to be swallowed up by you, and then you sweet-talk me and do whatever the hell you want.
You have turned me into your mother.
Beth, don't bring my mother into this.
Well, she's already in it.
You don't even realize it, but they're both in it.
Admit that you think that your job is more important than mine.
- That's absurd.
- Admit it.
Admit to me that you hated the fact that I had something happening for myself.
- JACK: I hated that you lied - REBECCA: No.
about working with your ex-boyfriend.
REBECCA: No, that's total BS, Jack.
Come on, Randall, admit it.
No.
I will not be bullied into saying something even more awful to you.
I will not speak that way to you.
I won't do it.
No.
You didn't want me to have a career.
- Career? You are a 40-year-old woman - Yes career.
singing covers in pubs.
That is not a career, Rebecca.
That is ridiculous.
We made a promise to one another that we would never get lost in each other, and I broke that promise.
And you let me.
You have let me bend to your every need time and time again.
Oh, we have kids, I have to step back from my job.
You quit your job, I work overtime.
You have a dream of buying your father's building, it becomes my dream, too.
You run for city councilman, I stand by your side.
You win city councilman, now what? I'm supposed to give up what I love to become a politician's wife? How many dinners am I supposed to go to, Randall? And how long? And what if city council isn't enough? - What then? - That's not what I want.
No, I finally have something; I have something that I have been looking for longer than I knew, and I am not going to give that up.
I am not going to bend.
And that's the problem.
Our lives don't work unless I'm doing the bending.
It doesn't.
And we both know it.
No, please.
I (SIGHS) I can see your mind working and-and you looking for the perfect words to make this better, and I don't want that.
I don't want it.
Because you're too good at it.
You're unbelievable at it, in fact.
And you say the right speech and have the whole world eating out of your palm.
Me, especially.
(BETH SIGHS) No.
No, I don't accept that, Beth.
I'm not I'm not going along with this revisionist history.
Revisionist history? Okay Okay, in what universe have I been steamrolling you for the past 20 years? I mean, your whole persona is driven by you being the head of this family.
So I'm-a ask you again: in what ridiculous universe are you this wallflower that's just been steamrolled by me? And these are not my words, Beth.
This is your M.
O.
So, please, please do not self-protect - by putting this on me.
- That is not what I'm doing.
The hell it's not.
I refuse to be blamed for the fact that you had your awakening 20 years too late.
At any other point in our marriage, if you had decided you wanted to go back to dance, I would have been nothing but supportive.
Oh, so when would I have done that, huh? Between which of your anxiety attacks? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have s I I did not mean Where are you going? To Philly.
'Cause I don't want to be in this house with you right now.
Well, it's good news for you, I guess.
I'm all out of speeches.