Awkward s03e18 Episode Script

Previously on Awkward I ruined friendships because of you.
That is all on you, Jenna.
Being an asshole is all on you.
Devon and Matty broke up.
We're done.
Take care.
What's going on? Miss Marks is on an indefinite suspension.
I'm so sorry, mom.
I had woken up.
And my wake-up call triggered a serious make-up call.
Make that two-- two make-up calls.
when it started spilling rain the sun is lighting up our faces I was working hard to make amends, and get back to being old Jenna.
Because old Jenna finally knew the grass wasn't greener on the other side.
It was just smokeable.
Old Jenna was all about turning the other cheek, and knew that my mother's intrusive habits came with the best of intentions.
And therefore, were meant to be appreciated and reciprocated, especially on her first day as the school nurse.
All the stars came into reach But my mother couldn't bandage my bad reputation.
So to be old Jenna, I had to avoid attention-- positive or negative.
Apparently righting my wrongs would take time.
Make you recall the time we laid up on the beach and all the stars came into reach Or maybe, I'd be back in the business of boring before I knew it.
While Valerie had annoyingly invaded my personal space on the daily, her absence of a week was depressing.
And the fact that her suspension was my fault had put me in a funk, which then manifested itself into a series of sappy voice mail messages and texts.
By all appearances, without her cray on display, I was picking up the slack.
Is Ms.
Marks back? No, I was just, um, dusting.
- Per her request.
- Shoot.
I really needed to talk.
Come in.
You can talk to me.
With Valerie out of commission, I would lend my ear and a little advice.
Which couldn't be any more inappropriate than if Valerie was in the hot seat herself.
She'd be proud.
Do you mind putting these on her desk? Are you applying to boarding school? No.
Actually, I just moved here a few weeks ago.
But Ms.
Marks suggested I get out of dodge since this stupid rumor about me is gonna ruin my life.
No rumor is going to ruin anything.
Trust me, after coming back from the brink of death, I know.
- You almost died? - If you believe the rumor, which thankfully disappeared.
Well, I am happy for you.
But my life at Palos Hills is over.
- That can't be true.
- It can.
Darren Stevens asked me out and I turned him down because he is mean and has terrible halitosis.
So instead of just letting it lie, he told the entire basketball team I had an orgy with him and his brother.
Why would he spread a rumor about having sex - with his brother? - Right? - And I'm the one that looks bad? - Screw him.
But that's what I'm trying to avoid.
Not literally.
Bad joke like my life.
I don't have any friends to vouch for me.
Well, now you do.
I'm Jenna.
And as your friend, I just need to know one thing.
Anything.
Your name.
Bailey.
With another good deed done and a new friend added to the bank, it seemed like I was finally back on the road to recovering my old life.
Welcome back.
Thanks.
- How does it feel? - Good.
Well, soak it in, 'cause you are on probation.
Yeah, there are some ground rules you need to follow before we fully trust you again-- No excessive talking about yourself.
- No scarves.
- No glasses.
No weird faces when there's a lull in conversation.
I didn't make weird faces.
And no experimentation with mind-altering substances, unless we are involved.
- Done.
- Uh, that was a trick.
No mind-altering substances, ever.
Done and done.
So-- So? How are you guys? Eh, not sure.
The mafia has been a little unpredictable lately.
Look around.
Asians are assimilating and it's weird.
As for me, don't ask.
But since you already have, I'll tell you-- I'm miserable.
Jake and I broke up over the election.
And while I'm willing to fall on the sword and take ownership for his interpretation of emasculation, he barely talks to me.
I don't think he's willing to get the magic back.
How do you know? He's stopped telling white lies.
No, you're not a good kisser.
Are you kidding? I hate One Direction.
Yeah, you look fat.
He sucks, and yet I still love him.
So now, how am I supposed to put a brave face on when I see him tonight at Matty's? - What's tonight at Matty's? - His St.
Matty's party, - St.
Patty's day.
- Right.
Wrong.
I didn't know about the party.
Are you going? I don't think Devon would want me there.
Devon and Matty broke up.
Oh, really? That's too bad.
Why? Apparently, she's convinced he's not over you.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
So there was still hope to make amends and get back to where I belong.
I just needed an invite.
He doesn't need an invite.
I've given him all the signs, but Austin is seemingly more interested in hooking up my Apple TV than hooking up with me.
Maybe you're coming on too strong.
And maybe your brain is too small for your head.
I don't understand what that means.
It means shut up.
He used to be all over me, and now he's just all over my Twitter.
And he won't stop giving me business advice.
I don't wanna discuss my business unless he's all up in it.
Well, if you don't want him working on it, then how can he be all up in it? You're giving him mixed signals.
You're useless.
You know what I need? I need another dude to flirt with and make him jealous.
That's your best idea yet.
- But - But? Where are all the guys? Come in.
Good afternoon, Nurse Hamilton.
Hi.
I don't see anything wrong with your foot.
Weird.
The pain just disappeared.
- I guess I'm all good now.
- Okay.
Well, come back if it returns.
I will.
Beat it.
Do you need something? Actually, I was gonna ask you the same thing.
I noticed an unusually large number of injured and sick male students in the hall.
I know, and most of them are complaining of swollen groins.
Is that normal? Excuse me.
There's something I have to attend to.
Psst, Billy.
Hey, it's me, Miss Marks.
How are you dealing with the death of your grandfather? Do you need to talk? Get in, we can take a ride.
Wait, come back.
Miss Marks, what the devil are you doing here? You are strictly forbidden from school grounds during your suspension.
It's a free country.
This is government property, and I'm a citizen.
A citizen who's restricted to a distance of 200 yards from all Palos Hills students on campus.
That is cruel and unusual punishment.
If you don't leave now, I'm gonna be forced to call the authorities.
Fine.
Call the man.
Because I certainly don't see any around here.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
Kyle, do not sit there.
Where am I supposed to sit? I suggest you stand in the hallway.
Don't worry.
I'll leave the door open for you.
Hunter, perfect timing.
Everyone, this is Hunter.
She's a former student of mine.
Come on, we'll go chat outside.
Hey.
- Hey.
- How much time you got? Can you hang for an hour or-- - Sure.
I'm home for Spring Break.
Just wanted to say hi.
But I can wait until the class is over.
Actually, I prefer you hang here with the class, so I can leave.
Are you kidding? So here's the deal-- here's 14 bucks.
It's about what I make here an hour.
Thanks a lot.
Uh, hey, guys.
Mr.
Hart took off, so today I am gonna be your totally inappropriate, inexperienced sub for the day.
Yeah? Why would you come back to visit Mr.
Hart? I am asking myself the same thing, as now I am stuck here for the next hour.
So did you sleep with Mr.
Hart? Yes.
I'm fucking with you guys.
Jeez.
You cannot be that naive, not with him.
- Hey, you, in the doorway.
- Yeah? Are you in this class? I don't know.
Am I? Hunter, wait.
I forgot to ask-- How did you pass Hart's class? I didn't.
I failed.
It's hard to pass his class when you're dating all the wrong guys and constantly fighting with your friends and getting your heart ripped out.
- I can relate.
- Of course you can.
You're in high school.
If you failed his class, how could you stomach seeing him again? Because in my failure, I found my greatest success.
I found my voice.
That, and he also gave me the most amazing book I've ever read.
What book? Unraveled by Russell Jonathan.
- He gave me that book too.
- Oh, man.
That changed my life.
It also made me realize that if I really wanted something, that I should just go after it.
Good luck.
I wasn't sure I wanted to be a member of Mr.
Hart's book club, but I'd take the sage advice that Hunter gleaned from it and pass it off as my own.
And that meant I couldn't just wait for an invite to Matty's party, I had to make one.
Hey.
What can I bring tonight? Just yourself.
All right, we're here.
Thank you for driving.
I didn't realize chauffeuring was optional.
It's not.
The "Thank you" was a formality.
Under the terms of your probation, you are to be our constant designated driver until you're told otherwise.
Probably a good idea to keep a clear head anyway.
Uh, have you already forgotten the rules? Shit.
You're right.
No talking about myself.
But can I at least acknowledge how bad I feel that I didn't know Matty's parents split up, and now he's living in a new home? That falls within reasonable conversation, since it's not all about you.
- It's about Matty.
- I disagree.
She's making it about the fact that she was the last to know.
True.
Overruled.
We need to stop the conversation about you, and focus on me instead.
What am I gonna do when I run into Jake? Thoughts? Act normal, like nothing happened.
- That's the best revenge.
- Agreed.
Wait.
Are you agreeing because you agree, or because you're on probation? Is that a trick question? Because I agree.
I actually think the idea is ingenious.
Good.
Then it's settled.
That's what I'm gonna do.
- Jenna? - Who's that? Uh, Bailey-- my new friend.
Did I forget to tell you she was meeting us? Yes.
Did you invite her because you thought we might ditch you? No.
Probation requires honesty.
Yes.
I wanted a backup buddy.
Just act casual.
I know what I'm doing.
Something you got is something I want Oh, fuck me.
I don't know what I'm doing.
And neither do I.
I don't know how to pump the keg.
- And Fred's not here to help me.
- I'll help you.
Just keep me away from all fair-haired man-children.
Sorry.
My friends are normally a lot friendlier, but we're sort of in the midst of mending fences.
Well, they seem very nice.
And frankly, I wouldn't care if they weren't, because I am just so grateful to be here.
This is my first high school party.
A keg virgin? Hey.
Matty, this is my friend Bailey.
Thank you for coming.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I'm not much of a drinker.
Jenna, where did you get the soda? Uh, cooler behind the bar.
I'll be right back.
- New friend? - Yeah.
She's the good kind.
So why aren't you drinking? Can't, I'm the DD.
Oh.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
Me too.
No, I mean, back here with us.
Hey, I just found out about your parents.
I'm really sorry.
I wish I could've been there for you.
Me too.
It's been a weird time, but I'm hopeful it's not permanent.
I'm glad to hear that.
I've gotta go put out more cups.
But will you do me a favor? Sure.
Come find me later.
I wanna hang out.
Old Jenna was making a strong comeback.
And for the first time in a long time, the possibilities were endless.
The possibilities are endless, see? We start a website, get advertisers, then you could write an advice book for a million-dollar advance.
If we follow these steps, we can take your brand to the next level.
We? Uh, I-I meant you.
The "We" was just a natural assumption that you'd want me along for the ride.
Would you like to come along for the ride? Are you wearing the correct size bra? Why don't you find out? Oh, not-- I'm not qualified.
You really should have a professional measure you.
Hey, teach.
Finally, a familiar female face.
I keep bumping into guys that I deflowered when I was a senior.
Although, there is one that's looking pretty good, and might get a second chance to make a first impression.
Well, like you said, when you want something, you just have to go for it.
Which is exactly what I'm about to do.
Oh, my dad's out front.
- I gotta go.
- Here-- in case there's beer residue.
God.
How many ways can you save my life? - Thank you.
- See you next week? Absolutely.
With my backup buddy bouncing, it was time to find Matty, and see if our hang out could lead to a hang in.
And maybe we could start to rekindle a friendship, or more.
Apparently, Matty was rekindling something with someone Hunter-- the beautiful, cooler, older girl who swiped Matty's V-card and was out of my league.
Excuse me.
Show me what you wanna do - Hey, you guys ready to go? - No.
Do you want us to get another ride? - No.
- Good.
'Cause we're just getting started.
And suddenly, so was I.
Because I wasn't going to get through the night obeying the terms of my probation.
Old Jenna, new Jenna, bad Jenna, good Jenna-- they all had one thing in common.
They all needed a drink.
I'm sorry for surprising you, but I thought we needed a moment of privacy.
- Finally.
- I want you to know Yes? your new passwords.
- You really gotta protect-- - Enough.
Are we in business or are we getting down to business? Because you used to be super aggressive.
And now, you're Timid Fucking Tony.
What is your deal? Sometimes I can't read social cues.
No shit.
And I never know when it's the right time - to make a move.
- I'll give you a hint.
Now.
Do you like me? Sure.
You shouldn't.
I was a jerk to you and Matty and everyone else.
I suck.
We all make mistakes, Jenna.
Like, when I didn't tell you about Matty when we were together? It's cool.
I'm over it.
We were good together.
We had fun.
Do you miss the old Jenna? I do.
I miss the old Jenna.
You are drunk.
Let's get you some water.
I don't want water.
You've broken the terms of your probation.
And once again, you're hurting yourself and others.
- We're very-- - Concerned about you.
I don't know what just happened, - but it feels like-- - You're acting out.
Can you stop cutting me off? Oh, I wasn't trying to.
I was just-- Putting yourself before others? Yes.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
I know that you don't mean to do it, but you did.
And it's alienating.
By the way, why aren't you mad at me for the kiss? - Because she kissed you.
- How do you know that? Oh, my God.
Did you kiss her? No.
But why wouldn't you think that I would? - Because you're loyal.
- Exactly.
And you weren't, which is why I was pissed that you took my job.
You're right.
I crossed a line, and I betrayed you.
I guess I took for granted that you wouldn't hold it against me.
I take full responsibility for sucking.
- Me too.
- That's appreciated, but I'm talking about me and Jake.
Jake, I screwed up.
I made a mistake.
Sometimes my mouth starts moving before I can think about what's coming out of it.
I don't know how to make it stop.
I do.
So are we okay? Yeah.
We fight.
We make-up.
That's our bit.
The inconsiderate selfishness of new Jenna had overtaken my attempt to bring back the old one.
I had blown my responsibility as the designated driver, and relegated everyone to an impromptu sleepover, which wasn't how I had envisioned spending the night at Matty's.
Hey.
Do you need another blanket? But Matty's bed was already occupied.
_ Set my silly little heart on fire became my desire you stood me up, up, up, up on my feet you stood me up Did you clean up the entire house? - Almost.
- Muffins? I found a mix.
What is going on here? I thought I would clean up the mess, since I have been an expert at making them lately.
I'm sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
I've been a really bad friend.
I really missed you guys.
We've missed you too.
Um, does Hunter drink coffee? I can make some.
Hunter, huh? What, did you revisit some history? No, no.
She got really drunk and threw up on herself, so I cleaned her up and I put her to bed.
She's not here.
I guess she took off - when she sobered up.
- That's a bummer.
Yeah, not really.
I'd rather hang out with someone else instead.
Turns out, I didn't need to be old Jenna to make amends and get my life back.
Instead, I was aspiring to be new-and-improved Jenna, who finally knew how to appreciate what she had before it was really gone.
One new message.
Jenna, it's Miss Marks.
It's no longer appropriate for you to contact me.
I've been fired.