George Lopez (2002) s03e18 Episode Script

- All right, let's try the problem again.
- But I don't get it.
They don't even look like numbers.
This is all mixed up.
I hate dyslexia! Honey, when you mix up numbers, it's called dyscalculia.
Mom, my eyes are tired.
Okay.
Let me help, okay? I went through the same thing.
It's not that hard.
Okay.
Max, one-five is 15.
And point zero-zero is the hundredths.
Hello? And percents, right? Percents mean Means the hundredths.
So So point one-five is 15 per Is 15 percent of My eyes are tired.
See? Max, your eyes were tired when we started.
All right, let's just take a break, huh? Relax, okay? Math takes time.
He's gonna get it.
George, the state proficiency test is only three weeks away.
He doesn't have time.
What are we gonna do? Because I don't understand it, you can't explain it.
It's like the first night of our honeymoon.
It's not just math.
It's all the subjects.
He's not getting it.
So, what happens if he fails the proficiency test? He gets held back.
Oh, you people and your education.
Everybody's gotta go to college.
Pizzas don't deliver themselves.
Okay.
We'll do something for Max that my mother never did for me.
You're gonna breast-feed him? We're gonna go outside the family and get somebody to help.
We're gonna get him a tutor.
You don't need a tutor.
You know, having a dumb kid is nothing to be ashamed of.
I wasn't.
You know, with him, so I can't wait till you're not well.
And Max is not dumb.
He's got dyscalculia.
Pardon me.
I have made a grave mistaculia.
Is that the new tutor? Yep.
Number five.
Looks like we finally got a good one.
- He's paying attention.
- Hmm.
Okay, sweetie, let's try it this way.
X is my secret.
And you wanna figure my secret out.
Heh.
So I'm gonna give you a clue.
Two times X equals 10.
Oh, I just got a chill.
Max, you're not concentrating.
You know, when I make my parents mad, they tickle me.
Max.
Max.
Ha, ha.
Wow.
You know, I read that women that beautiful don't have boyfriends.
Because guys are too intimidated to come up and talk to them.
Huh.
Well, add me to the list, man.
He's only paying attention because she's so pretty.
Well, sometimes you need an attractive woman to get a man's attention.
You know what I'm talking about? That short skirt you wear when you want me to see a Jude Law movie.
Hey, he's a good actor.
He's up for an Oscar.
No, no, I like the movies too.
I get a two-hour nap, and then when we get home: "Jude I mean, George.
" Ay! Stop it.
Okay.
I'll explain why we can't be together in mathematical terms.
You're 11 and I'm 22.
So when you're 18, I'll be? It doesn't matter.
I'll be 18.
I think we're done here, Max.
I'm sorry.
I don't think I'm getting through to Max.
I seem to have a tough time with the boys.
And this one girl who looks like Clay Aiken who just stares at me and bites her lip.
Well, we appreciate your effort, Ashley.
How much do we owe you? Well, it's 30 dollars for the hour.
And let's just say 2 dollars for my scrunchie.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
Bye.
Max, what happened? I'll tell you what happened.
Another lousy tutor.
Max, finish your math in the backyard.
Ah.
You can play with this scrunchie when done with homework.
Don't touch it too much.
I want her smell, not yours.
- What are you doing? - I'm gonna find another tutor.
George, this isn't working.
And it's not the tutors.
They've helped other dyslexic kids.
It's Max.
No, it's not.
Look, maybe he's not mature enough to take this seriously.
I think it would be good for him to spend another year in the fifth grade to grow up.
No way.
Look, this isn't about maturity, Angie.
You never had a learning disability.
There's somebody who can help him.
The test is two weeks away.
He's not gonna get algebra in two weeks.
Angie I got this.
I'm gonna find a better tutor.
Somebody old-school.
Watch out.
Whoopty-woop.
Watch this.
"Old teacher willing to discipline young student.
" Huh? How about that? Oh.
- Is that an apple? - Unh.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
Jason walked me home.
Is it okay if he stays for dinner? Sure.
I thought you were mad at him for not spending enough time with you.
Yeah.
But I made him promise not to take on any more activities.
I'm his priority.
Now, did he say that? Or did you say that and he just said, "Uh-huh uh-huh, uh-huh"? Wait a second.
You think he kept saying "Uh-huh" to shut me up because everything I said is only important to me? Uh-huh.
- So you having trouble with this, buddy? - Yeah.
Yeah, my brother had trouble with algebra too.
So we came up with a little rhyme.
Algebra's crap.
It's a waste of gas.
See your teacher sitting on her bit fat Ask me how to do it, and I'll tell you, brother.
Just do to one side what you do to the other.
Take the bottom number.
You multiply.
You see what I'm doing? And I'm not high.
So do to one side what you do to the other.
X equals eight? That's it.
I got one.
I got one right.
Mom, Dad, I solved a problem.
Jason showed me how to do it.
Really? Can you tutor him? - Dad! - Fifteen bucks an hour.
But you guys paid Ashley 30.
Quiet! You don't know math.
Get over here.
I guess I could find the time.
No.
Jason, you said you wouldn't take on any more activities.
I can do it in a half-hour a day and we'll see each other more.
Your little brother needs help with math.
Fine.
But Max won't need to know math for his job anyway.
When someone orders a hamburger, he'll just press the hamburger picture.
Did you hear that, buddy? She puts you right up front at the register.
Somebody believes in you, mi hijo.
Come on.
What's the matter, Max? We got the grades back on our practice test, and I need them signed.
Oh, honey.
We know you tried hard and that's the most important thing.
Save that for the losers who suck in every subject.
I got a B in math.
"D minus.
D minus.
D minus.
B.
" This is amazing.
Yes! Now I know what a Korean father feels like.
Way to go, Max.
Look, Jason, you helped Max in math but he's sucking in all those other subjects.
If you could tutor him in other subjects, he might make it to the sixth grade.
Then when you're running for president, you can say you helped a little brown boy.
Dad, what are you doing? Carmen, let him answer.
Jason, help the little brown boy.
- All right, I'll help.
- Oh, my God! I better go talk to her.
Oh, hey, just a little advice.
Before she cries, you cry.
Then say, "I'm sorry.
I don't deserve to talk to you right now.
" Then run and wipe your eyes like that.
- Carmen.
- How can you do more? You've already got a million activities.
Basketball, debate, student council.
And everything is more important than me.
It's not more important than you.
I just need all that for my transcript.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, I'm sorry our relationship can't get you to a better college.
- Maybe you don't have time for a girlfriend.
- Yeah, maybe I don't.
Look at them fighting out there.
This is your fault.
Once he cries and runs, it'll be fine.
That doesn't even work when you do it.
I know.
I don't deserve to talk to you.
I'm gonna play golf.
I don't think so.
- Everything okay, honey? - No.
No.
Thanks to you, Jason and I just broke up.
I don't ever wanna see him in this house again.
- Okay, I'll take care of this.
- Uh-huh.
Oh, Jason.
Hold up, man.
You can't do this.
Mr.
Lopez, I'm sorry it didn't work out between me and Carmen.
Okay, so am I.
Carmen is one of the sweetest, most wonderful girls in the world.
She doesn't deserve any of this.
But I'm talking about Max.
I don't want him to fail, but Carmen's not gonna want me here.
Look, I'll get my daughter through this, okay? You just keep helping my boy.
I guess, but it's gonna be awkward.
Not as awkward as dropping off a 21-year-old kid at the fifth grade.
"Good luck, Max.
Your mom packed you some pudding and a 40-ounce.
" How you doing, sweetheart? I feel like Jason ripped out my heart and stomped on it right in front of me.
I'm sorry, honey.
You know what you could do to get your mind off Jason? Volunteer.
Join some clubs, Carmen.
I mean, anything to get out of the house between 4 and 6, Monday, Wednesday and Friday when Jason will be tutoring Max.
- Okay, pizza's on me.
Chin up.
- George! What did you do? I had to ask Jason to keep tutoring Max.
Okay? I had no choice.
No! Jason can't come back here.
All right.
I know Jason is helping Max.
But Carmen is hurting.
Why can't Max study at Jason's house? Well, who's gonna take him? You work and I work.
It's too far for him to walk.
Wait.
Why do we have to get involved with Jason at all? God! Nobody in this house cares how I feel.
- Where's she going? We're in her room.
- I don't know.
Get out of my room.
Look.
I know you hate me right now.
Okay? But I just wanna say before I leave are you in on this pizza or what? Because when you're upset, you eat more than two pieces.
And I just need to know what kind of toppings to get, jalapeños or Mom, Dad, this is my new lab partner, Brad.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you guys.
- It's kind of a funny story how me - Shut up, Brad.
We're gonna do homework.
Oh, just so you know, uh, Max is studying outside with his tutor.
Ha, ha.
Please.
I am so over that.
See, Angie? She's moved on.
You can tell me I'm right now.
We both love the kids.
It's not a competition.
Said the loser.
We're on the same team.
Said the loser.
Said the guy with the pillow over his head.
Said the loser! - Hi.
- Oh, hey.
Uh, you know Brad, right? Uh, yeah.
You look familiar.
Yeah.
I play clarinet in the band.
Remember at homecoming when, uh, you guys ran off onto the field, and, uh, you knocked me over.
You were like, "Sorry, dude.
" I was like, "It's cool.
" And, then, like, it might've looked like back then that I was crying but I wasn't.
I just have allergies.
It's good to know.
Don't mind us.
We're just gonna do some studying too.
Come on.
Oh, why don't we start with chemistry? Because you and I have such great chemistry.
Ha, well, you and I are both comprised of hydrogen and carbon so I guess we do have a lot in common.
You're so smart.
Oh, that's it.
Hey! - Stop it! - Said the loser! Mom, Dad, Carmen's kissing the weird clarinet boy.
- What? - She's trying to get Jason to leave.
What's the matter with her? Why would Brad being here bother you, huh? I'm not your girlfriend.
It bothers me because we just broke up.
Why would you wanna hurt me? Well, if you're hurt, then you should leave.
What she's trying to say is she's with me.
- Shut up, helmet hair.
- Okay.
- Okay.
You don't want me here? - No.
Fine.
I'm leaving.
Jason, where you going? Sorry, Mr.
Lopez.
I hope you find another tutor but I can't be here.
Ja You ruined it.
You just couldn't handle the fact that he's mine now.
What are you doing? Trying to get the taste of Brad's tongue out of my mouth.
Look, we need to talk.
Begin with the "Max is more important" speech now.
Look, Max is more important at this moment, Carmen.
There are times you're more important than Max.
Sometimes your mother and I have to do things that aren't good for everybody.
Name one time you did something that was good for me and bad for Max.
- You wanna know? I'll tell you.
- Yeah.
Carmen, your private school costs so much that Max isn't gonna get a new bike.
He's not getting a computer, and he's never getting braces.
- I didn't realize he was giving all that up.
- Neither does he, so don't say nothing.
You don't understand.
I still love Jason.
Love.
Carmen, you're not allowed to use that word.
Carmen, you're 15.
Juliet was 15 and she died for her love.
That's why we send you to private school to keep you from girls like that.
Oh, my God! Why do I even bother? Look, you're not gonna wanna hear this, but I'm gonna say it anyways.
You just had a high-school break-up.
Months from now, you'll forget about him, and you'll move on.
Okay? But Max isn't gonna move on unless he gets help from Jason.
So Jason has to come back and tutor him, okay? So go ahead and yell.
No.
I'll go over to Jason's house tomorrow and get him to come back.
Thank you.
So you promise me Max will never get to wear braces? Not as long as I'm alive.
No braces.
No fillings.
No vaccinations whatsoever.
- Didn't he already get those? - Shh.
Did I get my vaccinations? Of course you did, Carmen, because we love you.
Yee-haw.
Giddyup! Whoo! We're back together.
Ah, I got some sugar cubes in my pocket, horsy.
I think he'd rather be glue there, Seabiscuit.
- I'm gonna help Max with his homework.
- Okay.
So you talked it out and both found a way to compromise? No, he said he really liked my sweater and we started kissing.
Coming.
Hello, Max.
I'm sorry to hear about the terrible accident that killed your parents and your grandma.
- And my sister.
- And your sister.
But I'm here to take care of you.
I'll have to pull you out of school so you'll have more time for video games and skateboarding.
- Really? - Yes.
I'll raise you as my child until you're old enough to be my husband.
Max! I crawled out of the wreckage.
And drive myself back here with broken legs.
Watch out.
Just so I could take care of you, my son, Max.
No! Another Ashley dream? Yeah.