Once and Again (1999) s03e18 Episode Script

~ bufgelfly ~
I'll get it!
- Where's the phone?
- I thought you had it last.
I always put it back.
Apparently I'm the only one who does.
The last time I saw it,
it was right here.
God.
You know how the ring gets louder
when it's really important?
I don't know why they call them
freedom phones. Would you like a bagel?
Yeah, with just cream cheese,
please.
Are these mine?
That's Grace's box.
Yours is next.
Too cute!
What's this?
- Puke.
- Ew!
I remember her.
That's Martha.
She was your grandmother's.
Can I have her?
We'll have to ask.
You won't be able to play
dress-up with her, though.
Did you make up your mind
about your birthday party?
I've been so busy
with Grandma's visit.
I think I wanna do something simple.
With just us.
That's very sweet,
but you don't wanna have a party?
I don't really feel like it
this year.
I mean, what's the big deal?
Hello! Anybody home?
- Hello!
- Hey, Ju-Ju.
That's my dad, I'm late.
- Bye, Ju-Ju.
- Nice to see you too, Gummy Bear.
Bye, sweetie, have a great day!
- I'm returning this.
- I didn't know you borrowed it.
Oh, wow I remember this.
- What's that?
- Puke.
- Keep it.
- Are you giving these away?
This is the Maddie pile, this is
I-can't-bear-to-part-with-it pile.
I'm saving you plenty of stuff.
- If they don't rot by then.
- So, what time is her plane get-in?
- 1.15.
- I should be coming with you.
- That's really OK.
I'll get her settled, you'll swing by,
- and then go see the baby.
- Your ex-husband's baby.
It's the one thing Mom said
wanted to do here.
She probably thinks
she's her grandmother.
She's been acting kind of
weird, on the phone.
- She calls you?
To criticize me.
Last week was to tell me
I act too capable around men.
She never calls me.
You think she'll bring those disgusting
?
- She doesn't do that.
.
?
- Why are you in such denial?
It's nicer that way.
I have to go to work.
Can we please fight later?
I'd love to, but I'll probably be
too busy fighting with Mom.
Hey, Grandma!
That can't be Grace!
Who is this gorgeous creature?
- How was your flight?
- Horrible.
- Look at you, all grown up!
- Yeah, that happens.
Mom, I'm gonna take Jessie and Katie
and drop them off at her mom's.
Oh, hello. Do you live nearby?
Mom! That's Jessie, Rick's daughter.
You met her at the wedding.
I just didn't recognize you,
you're all grown up too.
This is Katie, my friend.
So many big girls!
- Watch your head, sweetie.
- Sorry.
OK, we're gonna go.
- I'll see you later.
- Bye.
See you guys later.
Come on, Mom.
Come on in, Mom.
It's chilly!
I never know what your weather
is gonna be like
and I just always pack wrong.
We have everything you need:
sweaters and scarves
- Let me take that for you.
- Thank you.
I'll turn the heat up
if you're so cold.
- Want some coffee or tea?
- No, nothing, no.
- Where did you get that?
- That's Rick's old chair.
It's his favorite place
to get all his thinking done.
Oh, you can always
have it reupholstered.
But your house looks lovely,
as usual.
- Judy!
- Mom's here!
I see!
I'm so glad you didn't come
to that airport, it was a madhouse.
All those soldiers with guns,
I hate guns!
Me too.
A little something for you.
You didn't have to do that.
Darling,
could I have some water, please?
Sure.
- So, your flight was OK?
- Well, actually no, it was horrible.
Their food is so salty.
The salad wasn't too bad.
It was beet, which I love.
And that nice curly lettuce
And I know you love these, Judy!
Oh, rye crackers! Thanks, Mom.
The beef was just so-so.
I think it was Teriyaki.
Do you want to open that?
- Now?
- Sure.
Feels like my birthday.
A book. How nice.
Anne Lindbergh. You know, she spent a
year by the sea after her husband died.
That poor little Lindbergh baby.
Here you go.
When am I gonna get to see
my brand new grandchild?
Mom, she's not really--
We're gonna go to Booklover's
so you can smooch the baby
- and see what Judy's done with Phil's.
- That'll be nice. Should I change?
No, you look great.
- It's too bad she's not here.
- Who, Zoe?
The baby. Shouldn't she be here?
Mom.
Lily.
Could you loan me
one of your sweaters?
- Sure.
- Good.
- That can't be her!
- Afraid so.
My god! She looks sixteen!
Hey, Grandma!
Don't kiss me,
I think I picked up a bug on the plane.
- Hey, Ju-Ju!
- Hey, Zo-Zo!
- Hey, babycakes!
?
Exquisite.
I can't wait to see Maddie.
She's so cute, you won't believe it.
Will Jake be there?
- He should be.
- Good.
Grandma, will you be here
for my birthday?
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
But I thought we decided on "Bea".
"Grandma" makes me sound like some
old lady sitting on a porch somewhere.
Isn't she brilliant?
She's already smiling.
- Can I hold her?
- Oh no, Zoe, germs!
No, it's OK,
I let everyone hold her.
Even the UPS guy.
Hey, Bea!
Jake! It's so good to see you.
You too.
Jake, she's just beautiful.
I'm surrounded by beauties, now.
Hey, beauty number 2.
How was school?
Scintillating.
You look tired, dear.
Probably because I am.
But we do pretty well,
don't we, little bear?
She sleeps right next to me,
it's like baby Valium.
She sleeps right with you?
Aren't you afraid
you're gonna suffocate her?
She's fine.
There you are, Tiffany.
Go through the girls old clothes,
see what you wanna keep.
Thank you, Lily.
Hey, sweetie pie.
Hey Lil, can I ask you something?
Everything's so different now. You kids
just have to do things your own way.
When I was pregnant,
they didn't have all those books
like they have today,
describing everything
so you know what to expect.
But we got by,
with a hope and a prayer,
and a lick and a promise.
You didn't breastfeed?
Oh, no, nobody did.
Does this hurt, dear?
It's a good hurt.
Babies change everything,
don't they?
Yeah, nothing in my life
made sense until I had her.
You're gonna be a good mother.
You think so?
I know so.
You hungry, Maddie?
Starving!
Would you look at those gams?
Oh, Daddy.
She is still one gorgeous broad.
And this place!
First it's a restaurant,
now it's a bookstore
- Things change, Daddy.
- Don't I know it.
I like your hair that way, Lilibet.
Thanks.
She doesn't change, though.
You don't think so?
I look at her
and see the girl I married.
You'll always be young
to me too, Daddy.
Thank you, sweetie.
- Are you two getting along?
- Oh, you know.
She always gets nervous
when she travels.
Yeah, but there's something--
I don't know.
You seem a little tense too,
my Lily.
Everyone down here
has to lighten up a little.
Don't you think Mom seems
a little bit out of it?
- Lily, I'm talking to you.
- Sorry. What did you say?
I said, I think we should go
and let this baby have her nap.
I could use one too.
And we have food!
- I got everything everybody wanted.
- Phone, somebody?
Phone, phone, phone!
- That's not mine.
- I have no life!
Eli! Hey, he lives!
- Mom, you remember Eli.
- Oh, hello.
- Phone!
- Mom, what can I get you?
Surprise me.
Nothing too spicy.
Any chopsticks?
- I think so.
- Nice.
Who are you?
I'm
still trying to figure that out.
She's losing it.
Please don't say that.
- Do you think it's Alzheimer's?
- No, and neither do you.
What do you wanna call it?
A senior moment.
I can't even find my own telephone.
I'm calling you from my cell.
Well, we both have issues with her
but the thought that--
- Hi Mom!
- She's up already?
Of course we are.
Did she say anything about me
working today instead of being there?
That's fine.
sorry I'm not there
to help you with her.
Me too! Bye.
What are you doing up so early?
7.30 isn't early around here, Mom.
I couldn't sleep a wink.
Is that the same mattress
you always had there?
- I think so.
- You might want to flip it.
You should do that twice a year,
you know.
Would you like a cup of coffee, Mom?
I don't drink coffee, you know that.
So much food!
I have a very big family now.
I'll say!
And I love it!
Well, just don't forget
your own children.
Why would I do that?
Resentments can build up,
believe me.
I believe you, Mom. Trust me.
Morning, Grandma Bea.
Bea will do just fine, dear.
- Aren't you gonna toast that?
- No.
Bagels taste better toasted.
wanna know how you were raised?
Watch your mother
with your own children.
Morning.
You startled me.
I live here.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
Just trying to decide
what to do today.
Zoe, no juice?
I'll have some later.
- I see.
- We can go shopping.
Isn't somebody around here
gonna have a birthday?
- What kind of party are you having?
- I'm not having one.
You're not having a party? Lily,
why wouldn't she be having a party?
Well, she--
I'm gonna step out
and get the paper.
- I just don't want one. That's why.
- How odd.
- Lily, this is the age, you know.
- What do you mean?
When they have to feel
comfortable with themselves.
- If they're going to be popular.
- I don't want to be popular!
- You say that now.
- I want to be invisible!
You will be if you don't start
giving parties and entertaining people!
She has friends, good friends.
Don't you?
Everybody loves a good party!
Except me!
Why don't you just have
Anika and Riley over?
Now, wouldn't that be fun?
But then, I have to invite Casey
and Taylor, who are their best friends.
They make the most fabulous
party favors nowadays.
Not if you're having
a family birthday.
I tell you what, let's just the
two of us go shopping for party favors.
How about that?
Fine.
Good! So that's settled.
I'll go take my shower.
Thanks a lot.
Honey, Grandma doesn't
come to visit that often.
- Can't we just--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Humor her?
My own daughter, and what do I do?
I completely sell her out.
By giving her a party?
She doesn't want one!
So why did you do it?
Because I knew it would
make my mother happy.
Why do I always end up
in the happy business?
It's called being a good daughter.
I'm seven years old
the second she gives me that look.
I don't have
a relationship with her,
so I'm trying to force Zoe
to have one.
At least it's good
that they are doing something together.
Even if it is shopping.
Who remembers
a 12th birthday anyway?
Gina Bradley.
She let me feel her up
on my 12th birthday.
I really needed to know that!
It was her present to me!
Oh, look Zoe, look.
These are just adorable.
Look, you can give one
to each guest. See?
Or what about something like this?
My friends don't wear makeup.
Oh, that's for makeup, I see.
- Well, there's just so many choices!
- And they're all made in China.
Which invaded Tibet
and killed thousands of monks.
Zoe, I'm just trying to help you
with your birthday party.
Now
This is very nice.
Oops, a little too nice.
Grandma, I'm just gonna go
look over there, OK?
Fine, but don't wander off. We promised
your mother we'd be home by five.
So I'll meet you at that counter
in three minutes.
Oh, I had big plans.
You might not know it,
to look at me now.
But I was gonna have
a career in fashion.
I was gonna live in Paris,
work for Coco Chanel.
Or maybe become a buyer in New York.
But that year, my father
lost everything. His business.
It didn't matter what I wanted.
I couldn't even afford college.
But then I met Phil,
and he became my life.
Excuse me, can I borrow your phone
to call my mom?
Only if it's a local call.
Thank you.
Mom? Yeah, hi.
No, I'm fine.
I'm just waiting
for Grandma to get back.
She said she'd be here.
I don't know.
I don't see her anywhere.
- Zoe, where is Grandma?
- I have no idea.
How could you lose her?
Excuse me, she lost me!
- You think she left the mall?
- I don't know!
Mom! There she is.
Thank God.
Mom!
- There you are.
- Where were you?
- Well, I'm right here.
- But you said I should stay up there.
Honey, you wandered off,
I didn't know where to look for you.
No, I didn't!
I couldn't find you.
I was very worried.
Didn't I tell you to stay together?
I stayed exactly
where she said I should!
Let's not make a big fuss about it.
Everybody's fine.
Stop acting as if something
terrible happened.
Alright, let's just go home.
Lil.
Wake up.
You're dreaming.
Oh, my God.
I was back at the old house,
I wanted to see her so badly.
Who?
My mother.
Come here.
I wanted to tell her
something important,
and I went all the way back home,
but she wasn't there.
I opened every door and
looked in every room
but she wasn't there.
You used to eat
the other half first.
- I did not.
- You did, too.
Daddy, I'm so glad you're here.
Even though you're not really.
Oh, I am if you need me.
My gosh, you eat a lot
of Chinese food around here!
Thai.
A lot going on around here, Daddy.
There is a lot going on.
I never really knew before
how everything was connected.
Did you know we are
actually made of star dust?
Daddy
Daddy, I think something's
wrong with Mom.
And if you were here, you'd see it.
Somehow it wouldn't be such a big deal
because you'd know what to do.
Thanks for the vote of confidence,
sweetheart.
But I might not.
I might love her so much that
I would try not to see it right away.
How can I talk to her and
get her to admit that she needs help?
Who likes to admit that?
And you know your mother.
She wants to do everything herself.
Daddy, you can't be dead
and in denial.
You'll see, Lilibet.
- You'll see.
- See what?
You'll know what to do.
How will I know?
Oh, you
You guys did a great job on these!
Daddy?
Sugar, anyone?
Not for me, thank you.
I just use lemon in mine.
So
Isn't this great that there is
green tea everywhere now?
- Yes.
- It's so good for your health.
That's what they say,
whoever they are.
All from the far East, I guess.
Mom?
There's something Judy and I
wanna talk to you about.
Oh, I just love conversations
that start like this.
We were wondering if you have been
forgetting things lately.
Little things like appointments or--
No. Absolutely not.
Why are you asking me this?
It happens to everyone.
God knows I've forgotten
to get married!
What are you trying to say,
that I'm incompetent?
- We worry about you, Mom.
- Well, don't.
Worry about yourselves.
Have you seen a doctor lately?
I have my checkups.
When was the last one?
I don't know!
What is this?
Why are you ganging up on me like this?
I think I do very well for myself.
Wait until you're my age,
see how well you do.
I know you do,
I don't mean to seem--
Here we go.
Is everything alright?
Anything else I can get for you?
- No, thank you.
- Everything looks wonderful.
Absolutely.
You just wandered off.
It was very frightening.
Is that what this is all about?
I merely walked across the way
to look at something.
Is that why I suddenly
need to see a doctor?
I have live alone
ever since your father died.
Yes, it's been hard,
but I've managed very well without you.
I don't think it'd hurt
to talk with someone.
I have a doctor here,
you'd love her.
- What did Zoe tell you?
- Nothing.
Well, you're making much
too much of this. You always have.
When you were a child, I used
to call you my little drama queen.
Now, what I really
want to talk about
- Mom, can I have some ice cream?
- Sure.
She should've eaten her dinner.
- Mom, it's OK.
- She eats too much junk food.
Why do you keep talking about her
like she's not even here?
- I do not.
- Yes, you do!
And don't you dare use
that tone of voice with me, young lady.
- What tone?
- That tone.
I'll use any tone I want
any time I want to.
Zoe, that's enough!
All you do is criticize everyone.
OK, Zoe, that is enough.
Go to you room right now.
Gladly. I don't even wanna go to
your stupid birthday party.
I don't know what's come over that girl,
she used to be so sweet.
It says there are tangles that can
form in certain regions of the brain.
Tangles?
The hippocampus
starts to shrink
in the early part of the disease,
you need an MRI to see that,
but basically
they can't really diagnose it 100%
until the brain
is examined in an autopsy.
There's gotta be
some kind of treatment.
Treatment is about
controlling the symptoms,
which can include cognitive loss,
verbal aggression,
agitation, wandering, depression
I can't bear it,
it's too depressing.
Maybe this is
just what getting older is,
and now we need some fancy name for it.
No, this isn't normal. It can't be.
So we can put people away
and not have to feel bad about it.
What's the alternative?
Are you gonna want to take care of her?
Have you thought about that?
Cause I have, Lil.
I'm not sure I could do it.
I really don't know if I could.
We have our little secrets,
don't we?
Mom, are you awake?
Oh yes, yes.
Very hard to sleep
when it's not your own bed.
Zoe didn't mean what she said.
I know that.
I want you two to get along.
We do, in our own way.
You haven't seen her in a while.
- She's grown up so much.
- Yes, she has.
I brought you another blanket.
- I won't need this.
- It's cold at night.
Lily, it's hard.
You have no idea how hard it is.
You mean
since Daddy died?
Do you know that I had a doll
just like this as a little girl?
Mom, that is your doll.
It is? What is it doing here?
You gave her to me.
Oh, yes, of course I did.
I'm surprised she's
in such good condition,
you were always
so rough on your things.
Cause I've grown up, too.
Sometimes I feel like
we don't even know each other.
That's silly.
I know it does sound silly, but
I wish I'd known what you were like
as a little girl.
What mischiefs you got into,
what you dreamed of
Long ago.
So much I never knew about you.
What was it like when you were pregnant,
were you scared of giving birth?
What else did you want in your life?
I can't do whatever it is
you want me to do right now.
I can't be your best friend.
I had your father for that.
I'm not like you.
I don't want to talk
about every little feeling
and analyze it to death.
- Is that what you think I do?
- Yes, you do!
Why can't you ever talk about your
feelings? Why is it so damn difficult?
Because my life is mine.
And it's not for anyone else
to examine and to judge.
I think
you must be tired.
You ought to go to bed.
It's late.
What time is this party tomorrow?
- Seven.
- Alright, we should leave at 6.45.
- That's fine.
- OK
Good night, darling.
Good night, Mom.
What are you doing
out here so early?
Well, I'm just switching out
a fan belt in Lily's car.
Couldn't they do that for you
at the dealership?
Sure. If I wanna pay
triple what it's worth.
Jake's good with cars, too.
That's great.
Lily tells me
that you two get along.
Well, Jake's a
a good guy.
You know, in my day, exes didn't mingle.
It just seems so strange.
- What is, people getting along?
- Well, it's just odd!
- Are you gonna come in for breakfast?
- I'm not quite done yet.
Well, I hate to think of you
out here all alone.
I kind of like it, actually.
You men!
Morning.
He won't come in. I tried.
Every time she comes out here, I think
it's gonna be different. I really do!
But she is just so like--
She's gone in two days, Lil.
She's gone!
When I talk to her I feel numb.
What is that about?
I just--
I need to make love to you.
- Now?
- Yes, now.
You sure that now is a--
You kidding?
- I'm not kidding.
- This is crazy!
I know.
What's that?
It's Judy.
Hello?
Anybody?
Hey, happy birthday, button!
What's so happy about it?
I love you.
Maybe you mom should
visit more often.
What's wrong? What is it?
I don't know how I can do this.
I try to talk to her,
and she just shuts me down.
How can someone give birth to you and
change your diapers and be your mother
and have it all be about her?
She doesn't even see me.
It's not too late.
I mean, she's right here.
No, she's not.
I never had a mother. Not really.
Not the one I wanted.
And now I'm losing her.
I don't know, Lil.
I wish I could help.
Rick, you do.
You have no idea.
Judy, I didn't know you were here!
A coffee cake!
- Why you have grease on your face?
- I do?
Oh, hi Judy,
I didn't know you were here.
- Why do you have grease on your face?
- Oh, well, I was working on Lily's
- car.
- Oh, I see.
You hungry?
No, thanks.
I'm gonna go get some more tools.
In the car? I'm telling Mom!
Oh, shut up.
Mom, can I have a popsicle?
For breakfast?
- Sure.
- That's a lot of popsicles.
- Oh, my God.
- What is it?
How did it get in there?
I have no idea.
Oh, god, I hope we can defrost it!
- Judy, I'm losing it.
- Join the club!
I had this whole conversation
with Dad last night.
You did too?
You serious?
all the time, I just never told you
cause I thought you'd think I was--
Nuts? I think it goes in the family.
OK, so Mom is
definitely not herself.
I think we can admit
that now, right?
When she saw Martha, she thought
like her.
We gotta get her to a doctor.
at this point.
It's like life is five seconds long.
Morning!
Judy, I didn't know you were here.
Mom, you look so nice.
At my age, it takes longer and longer
to put yourself together.
Do you want some breakfast?
Coffee cake or popsicles?
- What time is the party tonight?
- What party?
Zoe's birthday.
Of course! You know,
I think I forgot to buy her a present.
- It's OK.
- Judy, I need you right now.
We have to go get her something
and I know exactly what.
At your service.
That's them that's them!
Alright, come on in!
OK everybody, I need your attention!
This was always my husband's job,
making toasts.
You remember, girls,
how much he loved to do it?
But this is a very happy day for me.
To be here in this place,
see how well everybody's doing.
Judy, your dad would be so proud
of all you've accomplished here.
And Lily,
with your radio show and your
your wonderful enormous family,
I really don't know how you do it.
But most of all,
this is my granddaughter's day.
Zoe, I know you didn't
want to have this party,
and maybe I shouldn't
have insisted on it,
but I just knew that everybody
in this family wanted a chance to
to celebrate
what an extraordinary girl you are.
Hear, hear.
You've got a real spark.
You're smart, you're funny,
you're not afraid of anybody,
- not even your bossy old grandma!
- You got that right.
You remind me
just a little bit of me.
And so, I'm going to give you
something that was once mine.
Now
The dress is new,
but she's really a very
old-fashioned girl at heart.
Bea
And I hope that she'll be as good
a friend to you as she was to me.
Happy birthday, Zoe.
Thanks, Bea.
I promise I'll take
very good care of her.
She's so beautiful.
Do you like how she looks?
Yeah, I do.
You like your new threads, Martha?
- Good night, sweetie.
- Night. Mom?
Were you and Grandma close
when you were little?
Sweetie, of course we were.
Then
what happened?
Well
I'm not exactly sure.
I guess Grandma loves babies so much,
somehow it's
hard for her to accept
that they grow up into big girls.
What are Zoe and Grace gonna say
about me when I get older?
Are they going to roll
their eyes every time I call?
Is it hard for you
that I'm growing up?
Absolutely.
Even though I can't help it.
Change is hard
for parents sometimes.
Then
maybe you shouldn't be
so mad at Grandma Bea.
What do you mean?
Well
She's changing, too, by getting old.
She can't help it, either.
Mom, can I come in?
Of course.
Your flight is not
until tomorrow afternoon.
That gives me something to do.
You don't have to leave tomorrow.
Oh, no.
You must be anxious to
get back to your regular life.
Zoe loves the doll, thank you.
That was sweet of you.
Oh, I'm glad.
Zoe and I are going to be just fine.
Grandmothers are different than mothers.
Oh, where is my toothbrush?
{\Lily: gives advice on radio show
Should I just leave
the towels here on the floor?
I guess so, sure.
Let me have that.
That's a nice sound.
I was just Zoe's age
when my mother died. Did you know that?
After that
everything changed.
You always liked the rain.
I did?
Always.
I remember waking up in the
middle of a storm when I was little.
I was so scared.
And you took me out on the porch
just so I could
hear it and smell it.
After a while I loved it.
Do you remember that?
Of course I do.
Now, there, Lily.
Mom?
I've always felt like
I've done something.
Something to make you angry with me.
And I've never known what it was,
all these years.
Oh, no, Lily.
It was never you, it was just
It was life.
Life did something to me.
Look at these hands
What have you been doing?
Scrubbing floors?
They used to always look so perfect.
I know, they look awful, don't they?
- Come with me.
- What?
Sit down.
- Lily.
- Come on, give it up.
Wha--
This is so silly, what are we--
Come on, Mom.
Hand over your hand.
You don't have to do this!
It does feel nice.
Listen.
Mom, I want you to
I want you to think about
living here with us.
Living with you?
I couldn't do that! Don't be silly.
Get to know the girls.
I always told you
I didn't want to be a burden to you
- and I meant it.
- Stop it.
No, I won't stop it!
.
- You don't get to make this decision.
- I certainly do!
I'm not always gonna do
what you want me to do.
- You never have.
- Mom!
God!
I don't know how to
make this any clearer.
I wanna take care of you.
Will you or will you not
let me take care of you?
Lily, I--
I forget things. I do know that.
We'd just end up driving
each other crazy!
Okay. So maybe it's not perfect.
But I'll remember for you, Mom.
And I think maybe,
by taking care of you,
I'll be taking care of me.
And, you'll drive me crazy.
Well, god knows you'll drive me
crazy if I keep saying no!
Let me see these fingernails.