Quantum Leap s03e18 Episode Script

And so Dr Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
Gordon? Gordon? Gordon, will you listen to me? Are you there, Gordon? Listen, pick up and phone and talk to me right now.
Please! Help! Help! Come and help me, please! Please! I'm being kidnapped! He's my ex-husband.
He's gonna kill me! Please! Please! What are you doing to her? Oh, boy.
She's being kidnapped.
Do you think there's a reward out for her? There should be.
What he done to me - She's not in any danger and I'm not a criminal.
Oh! Will you let me go? No! He'll kill me! I'm not gonna kill you.
He's been threatening me for years.
When he wasn't trying to beat me.
I don't know what I would have done if you two handsome gentlemen hadn't come along and rescued me.
Thank you, ma'am.
Look, I'm sure I'm sure that there's been some mistake.
Pipe down, wife beater! I'll get the sheriff.
Oh, no.
I don't want to cause any trouble.
If you'd just be so kind as to reach into that pocket and grab that key.
No, not that one, the other one.
What's this? Oh, please, just get the key.
It's an arrest warrant.
That's phoney.
Who's it for? It's for her.
I'm telling you, it's fake! It says here you're wanted in Arkansas for - Embezzlement? She's a crook.
What do you know? That makes you one of them uh what do you call it, uh Uhlaw Uh Uhlaw Bounty hunter.
Bounty hunter.
Did you grow up around a nuclear reactor? I guess you gentlemen can let me go.
We're real sorry, mister.
You're going to jail, little lady.
That's what you think.
Come on, Bill.
Will you cut it out? Would you please get on the phone? This is Sheriff Michaels.
Gordon, will you listen to me? Gordon? Yeah? Operator? It's not the doggone operator.
It's Sheriff Michaels.
You've had me worried, boy.
Tell him we'll meet him at the station.
I'll meet you at the bus station.
Which one? The Decatur bus station.
Look, are you sure you're OK? I can call the local sheriff.
No, no, I'm fine.
OK.
Decatur bus station.
We'll be there.
Not according to Ziggy.
Pretend you're still talking on the phone.
Arh! This is terrible.
I've been beat up, kicked - Wimp.
What am I doing here? You're Gordon O'Reilly, bounty hun bo-hunt - hunt bounty hunter.
Oh, you're a bounty hunter.
I know.
And that's Diane Frost, who - Come on, hurry up.
My feet hurt.
Caramba.
What? She looks exactly like Maxine.
My fifthyeah, fifth wife.
Did I ever tell you how I met her? It was in a tattoo parlour in Jersey City.
She was getting a - AlAl! Oh, sorry.
I don't believe this.
What? This Diane was arrested for forging her boss's name to a million bucks' worth of cheques.
She jumped bail and went on the lam for four days.
She looks so innocent.
And you're the third bounty hunter on this case.
What happened to the other two? The first one's got a dislocated shoulder fromfalling off a cliff.
And the other one is in the Fort Worth General Hospital, in a body cast.
Accidents happen.
Doesn't sound like an accident to me.
The good news is, both of them heal their wounds, and they go on to lead an almost full life.
Almost? Yeah.
And your job is to make sure that she doesn't escape.
So far, so good.
Al, this is a very dangerous woman.
What, this dainty little thing here? Oh, you can handle her.
Hurry up.
The sun is giving me liver spots.
As soon as Ziggy gets more down on Maxine, I meanDiane, ermI'll be back.
In the meantime, get her on the bus to Decatur.
Hi, ma'am.
Not so fast.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry, ma'am.
It was an accident.
I'm sorry.
What are you doing? Hey, bud.
Couldn't help but notice that trouble follows you around, over there and now here.
You're telling me.
If there's any commotion, I'll throw you off, you got it? Yes, sir.
Don't worry, sir.
I won't give him any more trouble.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I've behaved badly.
I guess I deserve what's coming to me.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
I have this thing about buses.
They make me sick.
OK.
All right.
That's it.
I need fresh air.
Not too much.
Wait a minute.
Uh-oh.
Get some air.
Is that better? (GROANS) Pleaseoh, please.
Stay by the window.
Get some air.
I'm going to take a little walk.
Stretch my legs, you know? You OK? I'm feeling better already.
I don't believe it.
Hi, Sam.
Now, listen, Al Maxine, Maxine, Maxine.
Do you mind? Sorry.
Sorry.
Maxine.
Her name is Diane, not Maxine.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah, I know that.
Her resemblance to Maxine just blows my mind.
What else have you found out? Well, Diane is innocent.
And you have to clear her name.
That's what Ziggy said? Uhthat's the way I interpret the data.
Al, just tell me what Ziggy said.
He says there's a 99.
9% chance that Diane stole the money.
I knew it.
But it's just like Maxine.
Maxine? Yeah.
The reason I divorced my wife Maxine was because I was 99.
9% sure that she was cheating on me with another guy.
And a Marine.
Don't tell me.
When you got divorced from her, you found she was innocent.
Yeah, she was, and so is Diane.
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Sam, I can see it in her eyes.
You do not.
You may feel it in your loins, but you definitely do not see it in her eyes.
Sam What? I feel it in my loins.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Sam, Ziggy says tonight, you and Diane get killed.
How? Well, the official history is that she shot Gordon, that's you - Yeah.
And then she was running away, and she got killed trying to escape.
That doesn't make sense.
She doesn't seem the cold killer type.
That shows how much you know.
Yeah, well, she must have been framed.
Al, I don't care.
I don't have time to find out.
I gotta get her to the Decatur sheriff before she kills me.
OK.
Fine.
I'll get out of here.
See you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's my hat.
That's my hat.
I'm sorry, sir.
Sorry, sir.
Hey, hey, hey! What did you do that for? Get your hands off of him! He was right! What? He said any man with a head that ugly doesn't deserve such a nice hat.
No, I didn't say that.
(EVERYONE SHOUTING) Hey, what's all that racket back there? Quieten down.
(BRAKES SQUEAL) (SHOUTING) Who started this? (GIGGLES) Great.
Sure is.
You wanna throw my hat too? (LAUGHS) I'm stuck out here in the middle of nowhere, handcuffed to a woman who wants to kill me, and my best friend is trying to work through guilt about his fifth wife.
Can life get any worse than this? (THUNDER) I'm freezing.
You don't have to give up your jacket.
If you're freezing, you're freezing.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Must be old, abandoned stables.
No kidding.
Did you get an advance to agree to do this job? As a matter of fact, yes, I did.
What was it, one of those mail order deals? Have you always been this mean? No, just recently.
My luck.
Look I haven't slept in a week.
I'm tired and wet (SIGHS) I'm only human.
A matter of opinion.
I guess I deserved that.
I guess you did.
You think it doesn't hurt, that I don't have feelings? No - Well, you're wrong.
I am a woman, damn it, and I feel things.
Like your hand next to mine.
Well, it's the handcuffs.
It's nothing.
I just - Isn't it? On the bus, I felt your leg rubbing against me.
Now, come on.
I fell asleep.
We were crammed like sardines in there, and I probably just - You don't feel something too? What I feel is my skin crawling.
Will you watch me? Come on.
You're my prisoner.
You make me feel so vulnerable.
You've got the guns and the handcuffs.
It's the middle of the night.
All alone.
If I were to call out for help, nobody would help me.
(THUNDER) But I wouldn't cry out.
Cry help, that is.
No.
No.
Come on.
I'm going to put you on this side of the barn and I'm going on the other.
You think I was stupid enough to fall for that? Huh? Come on.
GordonGordon Look, come on.
I don't Oh! Oh, you're so predictable.
I'm predictable? All right.
I predict that you're gonna get I'll deny it.
Gordon Are you OK? Gordon? What am I doing? Sam, what are you doing? This is no time to take a snooze.
Hurry up.
She's trying to get away.
Look.
She's trying to get out the door.
Oh, it's locked.
Hurry up, Sam.
Look, here she comes.
Grab her.
Grab her! Grab her! Grab her! Look, she's going up the ladder, Sam.
Sam.
Wait.
I got an idea.
Pull the ladder away from there and then she'll be stuck on top.
Drat.
Try the windows.
They don't work.
All she's got is this ladder.
You'll be able to catch her.
Here she comes.
Get her.
Get her.
Hurry, Sam.
Oh, man.
What is this stuff? Manure.
Oh Boy, I'm glad I'm a hologram and I don't have to smell you.
You must really reek.
I stink.
You can say that again.
You stink.
You don't think you overdid it on the ropes a bit? No, I don't.
My nose itches.
It's killing me.
Good.
(DOG YAPS) I've been lied to, punched, kicked, thrown off a bus, flipped, kicked again and knocked out, and I can't breathe around my own self.
This is the leap from hell.
I've never seen you act so weird.
Weird? You fight all the time with her, just like I used to fight with Maxine.
Maxine! Bingo.
I got it.
What? (LAUGHS) You're falling for her.
Get outta town.
Admit it.
That's ridiculous.
You're falling in love with her.
I can't stand the sight of her.
I can't stand the sight of you.
It's a textbook example of love and you are in the first stage.
The first stage? There are five stages of love.
The first is denial, the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce, and then more sex, if you're lucky.
Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa? Well, it's not a book, it's a theory of mine, and it's a darn good one, too.
And in my estimation, you are on the verge of the second stage.
Sex? Ha! Please.
See? She wants it too.
I don't want to talk about this any more, OK? We're stuck here tonight, but tomorrow we'll get to the nearest town, I'll call the sheriff and have him come and take her away.
Don't do it, Sam.
Don't do what? Don't turn her in.
Don't start.
Sam, I'm right about this.
I feel it in my gut.
My gut, plus the bump on my head and the cracks in my - arh - ribs, tell me that she's guilty.
Unless you come up with some proof, Ziggy, for the first time in his life, is right about this and she belongs in jail.
You are wrong.
You're wrong about all of this, and I am gonna prove it to you.
OK.
Fine.
Go ahead.
Prove me wrong.
OK, I will.
OK, I will.
You wanna sleep in your chair or in the hay? Hay.
Hey! Oh, come on! Don't do this, Gordon.
Don't leave me tied up like this.
(GROANS) Even though it kinda seems like I'm a ruthless criminal, I just want you to know that I didn't steal that money.
Right.
Rodney, my boss, he was running this phoney gold share scheme.
He knew I was onto him.
I was afraid.
I'm really innocent.
Yeah, well, that's something for Judge Andrew to decide.
In Decatur, Rodney owns the judge and jury.
Yeah, well, OK.
So, now I know.
(GROANS) Good night.
Night.
There you go.
You threw them off? Section 50-3P of the regulation book.
If it looks like I'm gonna die, I can throw people off, don't matter where.
Damn! Simmer down, Rodney.
He's just doing his job.
That's right.
Y'all have a good day.
Much obliged.
Sheriff, that woman's got a million dollars of my money stashed away somewhere.
I know that.
She'd do anything to eliminate that bounty hunter to get to my money.
I wouldn't be surprised if she was in Rio de Janeiro by now.
It seems a little far to go in one night.
Probably just got sidetracked, that's all.
We'll give 'em a couple of hours.
Are you just going to sit here and do nothing? No, no, no, I was thinking about getting a haircut.
What do you think? Just a little on the sides.
Sheriff - All right.
All right.
I'll ask Lawrence to call down to the Arkansas state police.
Then you and I are gonna get some breakfast.
Sir, this is Sheriff Michaels.
Do you read me? I read you, Sheriff.
(COCK CROWS) Wait! Oh, well.
Here comes another one.
It's the handcuffs.
No-one will pick us up if they see 'em.
All right.
I'm gonna take 'em off.
But don't even think about bolting.
Frankly, I don't have the strength.
I didn't get any sleep last night, thanks to you.
Me? Do you know that you grind your teeth when you sleep? I thought I was in a sawmill.
Well, you snore.
I thought I was sleeping next to the hogs.
That's what my momma says.
We both smell like hogs.
What I wouldn't give for a shower.
You live with your mother? Yeah.
Last couple of years, after my daddy had a stroke, she needs help.
Here comes another one.
You've never done this before, have you? Huh? Oh, yeah.
I used to That's what I thought.
Am I doing something wrong with my thumb? It has nothing to do with your thumb.
It's your style, it's your charisma.
It's the way you present yourself that says, 'I am worthy of a ride.
' Are you kidding me? Charisma? Seriously.
(LAUGHS) Like you would know about charisma.
Last one there is a rotten egg! Howdy, ma'am.
Please, he's gonna kill me! Step on it.
Yes, ma'am.
Sam? Sam? Sam! Get up out of there! Up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
Come on.
If she gets away, you'll both die.
I don't know what happened to me.
I was leaving.
You know I'm screwing everything up.
It's Diane, you know? She drives me crazy.
Hey, nobody said this was going to be easy, you know.
Give yourself a break.
You're closer than you think.
OK.
OK.
You have Ziggy send you to Diane.
OK.
Dusty, send me to Diane.
Sam, she's here! She's here! Get up out of the mud! She's right around the corner, Sam.
Hurry up! Hush, Sam.
Quiet, quiet.
She's waiting behind a tree.
The guy that picked her up must have smelled that manure and threw her out.
Can't blame him.
She's hitch-hiking.
Get her.
No! No! All right.
Watch out for that bush behind you.
It's full of - Argh! Thorns.
All right.
Get your hand out of my pocket.
Arh! Well, that does it.
Sheriff Michaels is on his way.
What now? Well, he says he's not gonna be here for an hour, so and we're both tired.
Excuse me.
And we need to wash up.
You're getting us a motel room? If you were the last women in the world, I wouldn't come near you.
Well, the same goes here.
Well, fine.
Fine.
Howdy.
I'm hungry.
I'll get you something to eat when we're in the room.
If I don't eat, I get faint.
All right, all right.
Could you get us a room, please, and What kind of sandwich do you want? Tuna, extra pickles.
Here you go.
And one for you.
And some Cola.
Yeah, yeah.
And some toothbrushes.
Some toothpaste.
Some bandages.
Antacids.
OK, OK, that's fine.
Now, here we go.
Thank you.
Right.
Let's see.
We've got uh a key, and we've got two sandwiches, two bottles of soda, some bandages, toothbrushes and liniment.
Liniment? Now, that comes to nine and a quarter, plus $16.
50 for your room, so, that'll be $25.
75.
Poor baby, did I work you over-hard? I can take it.
Aww.
Honeymooners.
(LAUGHS) Here you go, sir.
I just love this Bionic Woman.
It's my favourite TV show.
Ain't that something to aspire to? Really? I would have thought that Demolition Derby was more your style.
I always thought it'd be kinda neat to be one of those undercover agents, like Lindsay.
(LAUGHS) What? As I see it, if you're a crook, it's hard to pursue a career in law enforcement.
I am not a crook.
You didn't forge a million dollars' worth of cheques? I admit I forged Rodney's signature.
Am I missing something? It all ties in with the phoney - The phoney gold share scam.
Right.
He'd prey on all these old people who trusted him with their retirement money.
And my momma was one of 'em.
Want your pickle? No, you can have it.
I was his accountant, anyway.
And I sold the shares.
You knew they were phoney? No, but when I found out, I realised these people were ruined.
I mean, suicides happened.
I couldn't just stand by and do nothing.
So, you forged the cheques.
I had to do something brave.
It was the first time in my life I ever had a chance to make a difference.
Only I did it badly.
So, here we are.
Why didn't you go to the police? I told you.
Rodney owned the police.
Even if he didn't, it'd be one or two years before it came to trial.
By then, the money would be long gone.
Where is the money? It's hidden.
I was about to give it back - When I caught up with you.
You know, I got a feeling that the money is already long gone.
You don't believe me.
Look, Diane, it doesn't matter if I believe you or not.
If you escape, you're gonna be hunted down and killed.
If you take me back to Decatur, I'm as good as dead anyway, so, what's the difference? Oh, man.
Better get out that liniment.
(GRUNTS AND GROANS) Ay.
Let me help.
It's fine.
I can do it myself, thank you.
Why? Afraid I'm gonna bite you? Bite me? No, I'm not afraid you're gonna bite me.
You've already kicked me, punched me, thrown me into a pile of manure and bashed my head in with a car door.
Why would I worry about your biting me? Let me help you.
I can see you're in pain.
I feel bad.
It was my fault.
OK.
OK, but only because I can't reach.
Come on.
What are you doing? Moving away any possible weapons.
It is a terrible thing not to trust.
Unbelievable.
How's this? It's OK.
How about there? It'sit'sfine.
You're such a liar.
You should talk.
Cut it out.
OK? Maybe we ought to cool this.
OK.
Think I'm a crook? I don't know.
As soon as I start to trust you I clobber you.
Yes.
You clobber me.
Maybe you're right.
I'll go see if my dress is dry.
Oh, man.
Am I crazy? (DOG BARKS) How could you do this? I trusted you.
Don't you have a conscience? I am a criminal, remember? I knew from the very first - Put 'em up.
Turn around.
I'm not afraid to use this.
What are you gonna do, shoot me in the back? I wouldn't put it past you.
You're hurting my feelings.
Over there.
Get your handcuffs.
On the trellis.
Don't do this, Diane.
Your life depends on it.
Shut up.
Higher.
Higher.
Please, Diane.
You gotta believe me.
Be quiet.
That's not my gun.
Where did you get that? That's it.
Smoke? (LAUGHS) Isn't that great? It's got 1,001 uses.
You can light your cigarettes Stick up a convenience store.
Oh, make that 1,002.
Got it at the motel gift shop.
I did not acquire it honestly, so, I guess now I really am a crook.
I don't know how I'm gonna be able to live with myself.
Have a nice day.
(LAUGHS) Oh.
Here, this is for the lighter.
Oh, you are the bounty hunter from hell.
What was that all about? Nothing.
You were paying for the gun.
What of it? Well, well, well.
Ain't you two a pretty sight? Got a little sidetracked, huh, boy? Yeah, well Don't you worry.
I'll take over now.
I'll see that you get paid for this.
I expect you're pretty happy to see the end of this little lady.
Come on.
Yeah.
Happy.
Where's she going? What difference does it make? She's still alive.
What difference does it make? Yeah, but not for long.
She dies in 20 minutes.
Sam, Ziggy says that she gets shot trying to escape, but but that doesn't make any sense, because she's already in custody.
Where's Diane's boss? Rodney Owens? Yeah.
Have Ziggy find out where Diane's going.
I have a feeling that wherever the sheriff was taking her, Rodney's gonna be close by.
OK.
Hey - How much is he paying, sheriff? None of your business, darling.
I'm not your darling.
Hey! You slimy punk.
Come on, Rodney, don't hit her.
That's telling him, sheriff.
Knock her out, she won't be able to tell us where she hid the money.
You scum.
That's telling him, Diane.
All right, Diane.
Tell me nicely once.
Nicely.
Where's the money? Oh! AL: You said nicely, you rat.
Why should I tell you? You're just gonna kill me.
Diane, I give you my word of honour.
You tell us where you hid the money and we'll let you go.
AL: Yeah, right into a speeding bullet.
Stop.
Stop.
I'll talk.
All right.
She'll talk.
I said I'll talk.
Will you promise you'll let me go? Yeah.
Word of honour.
Don't tell 'em, Diane.
Travel Town.
Travel Town? Whereabouts? In a train.
Which one? There's so many, I don't remember exactly.
You don't remember where you hid a million dollars? Silly me.
I was in such a rush.
I guess I'll just have to show you.
OK.
Hang in there, Diane.
I'll bring help.
She's in real trouble, Sam.
How close are we? They're about three miles ahead of you, so, step on it.
Is she all right? Yeah, she's OK.
But that Rodney twisted her arm.
What? Dammit.
She told him where she hid the money.
Some place called Travel Town.
I guess you were right.
She's a crook.
No.
No, she's not.
But she just said - No, she took the money.
Right.
In order to give it back to the people that Rodney swindled.
I hope.
How do you know she didn't take it to keep it? She couldn't even steal a toy gun, paid first chance she got.
A crook wouldn't.
See, I told you.
You had to say that.
She never killed that bounty hunter.
Gordon must have been onto what Sheriff Michaels and Rodney were up to, and followed 'em to Travel Town.
And they killed him and made it look like Diane did it.
When she gave them the money, they killed her.
Exceptexcept this time - What are you doing over there? You're not Gordon.
And you're gonna get killed unless you think of something.
You don't care about the people you ripped off? They knew their investment was highly speculative.
Everyone was aware of the risks.
Mrs Bridges and Mr Henderson weren't.
My mother wasn't.
Closed Monday.
I guess we'll have to come some other time.
I don't suppose we'll get arrested for trespassing.
All right, all right.
Hm.
Now, where did I put that silly money? Now, Diane, don't be wasting our time.
(LAUGHS) I remember now.
It'sit's umright up here.
In the boiler thing.
Hey, Rodney, you follow her.
I'll go this way.
Hold it right there.
That was not too smart, missy.
You're forcing me to do something I don't want to do.
Go ahead.
Kill me.
I don't care.
How about your momma? I could kill her.
You leave my mother out of this! I'll be glad to.
Just show me where the money is.
Al! Have Ziggy scan me on Diane.
When you find her, call me, and I'll follow your voice.
Hurry up.
We only got about two minutes.
AL: Sam! Over here! Can you hear me? Here it is.
AL: She's only got about 20 seconds.
Sam! You promised to let me go.
- AL: Only about ten seconds! - That right? That's right.
Well, who's stopping you? Five Sam! (SHOT FIRED) Wait! Wait! Hold it.
I never thought I'd be so glad to see you.
You OK? That's it, Sam.
You did it.
Get your hands up.
Uh-oh.
Oh.
Now the odds are dropping down the other way.
What does that mean? That's not a gun.
It's a lighter.
Wow.
Thank God my wife Maxine couldn't kick like that.
Gee.
I'm holding a million dollars, so don't even think of taking even one dollar.
Look, this may be hard for you to believe, but I'm not here for the money.
OK.
I trust you.
Tell you what, there are gonna be a lot of happy people when they open up their mail boxes.
Better than a letter from the clearing house.
Ha! See, I told you from the start.
I told you she was innocent.
Boy, she looks a lot like my fifth wife, Maxine.
Well, that does it.
Ready to turn myself in.
Maybe I'll get better treatment from the state police.
The charges against Diane get dropped, and Sheriff Michaels and Rodney get 15 years in the pen.
Well, I guess this is it.
I guess this is it.
I hope you're not sore for too long.
Yeah, well, me too.
Well goodbye, then.
I guess so.
Oh, man.
So long.
Why haven't I leaped? Did you say something? You've got some unfinished business with Diane.
Diane, uh Are you gonna be OK? Yeah, I'm gonna be OK.
Just gotta figure out what I'm gonna do.
Well, after seeing some of the tricks you pulled on me the last couple of days, maybe you ought to be a bounty hunter.
A bounty hunter? Well, you know I could be a bounty hunter.
Now, I was just kidding.
What's the matter, you couldn't stand the competition? She does OK, Sam.
She becomes one of the best bounty hunters in the business.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
There's been some kind of a mistake.
You're the one who made the mistake, Jesus.
No.
Jesus, no.
Just try to think of some place far away.
Let it be known that on the 12th day of May, 1971, in the presence of these witnesses, that Jesus Ortego was condemned by the state of Florida to death by electrocution.
Oh, God.