Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s03e18 Episode Script

1 [" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [whistling.]
[inhales deeply.]
- I'm back.
- Uh what? I said, "I'm back!" [music.]
What y'all doing?! [all cheering.]
Yes, yes, I'm very excited to see me, too.
- I know how it feels.
- Ponyhead, I missed you so much! Girl, boundaries.
Now look, I been cooped up with my batty sisters for way too long.
So, I need to brunch, and then I need to party, pronto! - Who wants to watch? - [all.]
I do, I do! [scratching.]
[giggling, cheering.]
[laughing.]
[all laughing.]
[laughing.]
[laughs.]
[awkward laughter.]
[all laughing.]
That's what it is! Okay, that's great, but who wants to get brunched in the face? Hold on, there! Come with me to my office.
You have a office? You do realize those robots are killing machines, right? We reprogrammed them.
A lot of things have changed here, and if you wanna brunch, - you gonna have to pass a new final.
- I know how to brunch, Patty! All right, then.
What are the four pillars of brunch? - [scoffs.]
Waffles.
- Mm-hmm.
- Eh, eggs, obviously.
- Uh-huh.
Buh B-B-B-Bacon? - Yeah.
- Ugh, and, uh Hold on, it's on the tip of my tongue.
Now you're making me nervous.
Uh, uh, uh - Uh - And more bacon.
You're gonna have to take the exam.
What?! I gotta take a waffle test?! That's crazy! I'm not doing that, okay? I invented brunch! Did y'all hear that? Old Underarm wants me to take a test just to eat.
[laughs.]
Yeah, Ponyhead.
It's so cool that you can get through brunch without passing a final, but some of us aren't as cool as you.
Well, sorry.
[music.]
- No need to get all emotional about it.
- I guess, huh? What I'm saying is maybe if you don't like the way things are here now, you should just go.
Come on, girls.
What? [Star.]
Hey, girl! Or boy.
Sorry I missed your call.
Leave a message after the [beeps.]
Girl, you would not believe how whack St.
O's is now.
They're trying to make your girl take a brunch test.
[Coachman.]
Aah! [gasps.]
Ponyhead! [dramatic music.]
[evil laughter.]
Oh, no! [growls.]
- Princess Arms! Oh - What do you want? It's Ms.
Heinous! She's trying to take back the school! [gasps.]
[alarm blaring.]
[gasps.]
It's Ms.
Heinous.
Full house, girls! [all yelling.]
[all screaming.]
[all screaming.]
Do not let them enter the school! [grunts.]
[Gemini.]
Oh, M'lady! [cackles.]
What What are you doing? [beeping.]
[gasps.]
[all crying out.]
[sobbing.]
Come on! Don't just stare at it.
[grunts.]
Oh, no.
Everyone back inside! [grunts.]
[Ms.
Heinous grunting.]
Lower the pizza boxes! [sobbing.]
We're gonna die! - No, we're not.
- Yeah, this is like a year's worth of pizza.
There's no way she's getting through this.
Shh-shh! Listen.
I think they stopped.
Did you miss me? Wah! [Princesses screaming.]
[grunts.]
Whoa! [Gemini chuckles.]
All right, girls, Plan B! [Princess Arms.]
Hold it right there! If you wanna get to the brunch room, you're gonna have to go through us.
[saw whirring.]
[shudders.]
[Princesses screaming.]
[distant screaming.]
Oh! [loud eating.]
Ponyhead, you're alive?! [loud gulp.]
- What are you doing? - I'm brunching on your four pillars - before Heinous finds me.
[chomps.]
- [gasps.]
She's after you? Isn't everybody? [loud crashing, sizzling.]
[music.]
If I don't make it out of this, I want you to know I hate you.
What? [door creaks.]
[music.]
[mechanical whirring.]
Young lady, did you unplug me? Good morning, St.
Olga.
Oh, no.
You changed your look.
It's called a tail, and I think I look great with it.
I think you looked better without it.
Well, I think she looks great with or without [groans.]
I need you to show me my master file.
Of course.
A trip down memory lane.
I found you when you were just a street baby.
I raised you as my own out of the goodness of my heart, and I managed to find the perfect work-life balance.
Show me the real master file! I do not know what you are talking about.
[snaps.]
There we go.
You know, my mind's been wandering so much lately, I thought I could use a little refresher get me back on track.
Time for a nice, relaxing brain massage.
[Heinous.]
No, not that memory! Rewind more.
Go back.
Mother, why do I have to hide my tail? You know that old rhyme, dear.
Boys do not make passes at girls with devil tails.
No, rewind.
Oh, Mommy, Mommy, look! My cheeks are glowing.
Isn't it pretty? Do you know what would make you even prettier? What, Mommy? Suppressing your flaws.
[Young Heinous.]
Mommy, wait! I can fix it.
Please, not this memory.
Go back further.
King Shastacan, the Lady St.
Olga is here to see you.
- Oh, St.
Olga, thank you for coming.
- This.
This is it.
This baby is unfit to inherit the kingdom.
She's absolutely heinous.
[sneezes.]
Heinous, what a pretty name.
Mewni should've been mine.
I did my best raising you.
All the other robot moms laughed behind my back.
It was not easy.
You should thank me.
Yeah Thank you! [hit, clank.]
Hey! This school has become so dear to me since I got here ten minutes ago! And I did not come here to watch you destroy it.
[growling.]
Ooh, you know what? You are clearly going through some things, that actually, I'm just gonna circle back later.
Wow.
[growls.]
[Ponyhead screams.]
- I'm just gonna sneak by you.
- Oh, Rasticore.
- Hmm? - Looks like it's just you and me now.
Yeah, about that I really appreciate you nursing me back to health and all, but uh Look, you're great.
Uh, you know that.
Why am I telling you, huh? Ugh! I'm so bad at these things.
I don't deserve a gal like you.
- What? - Uh I'm so busy with this job.
I'm addicted to work.
Sometimes I say to myself, [music.]
"You know, Rasticore, wouldn't it be cool if you could meet Heinous like four years from now?" - It's Meteora.
- Yeah, yeah.
See? I don't even know your name.
Such a jerk.
Ugh, yeah.
I gotta go.
But promise me this one thing: Twenty years from now if we meet up, and we're both still single, you'll be my soulmate.
What am I talking about? That's not gonna happen.
You're gonna find some awesome guy that's gonna steal you away from me.
- Looks like it's just you and me.
- Ugh! Uh, if you wanted my heart, [powering down.]
all you had to do was ask.
[music.]
Oh, Rasticore.
Time to take back the throne of Mewni.
[music.]
- I take you, FoolDuke.
- I take you, Ruberiot.
[both.]
In sickness and in health.
Till death do we part.
Through pirate attacks, monster raids, and corn famine.
I do.
[smooching.]
[all cheering.]
Aww, mazel tov! [lively music.]
Isn't this just beautiful? It's too bad Ponyhead never showed up.
- Yeah, the photo booth is - [gasps.]
Photo booth.
Okay.
Well, I'm just gonna go get some pie, then.
No way! [gasps.]
Wait, Marco, Marco, Marco! You can't leave yet.
- We gotta take pictures! - But I gotta take Nachos home and feed her.
- Kelly can do it.
Let's go! - No, wait! Do not take her for a ride! You got that, Kelly?! Kelly! Aah! Yeah, for sure.
Totes.
[Star.]
Wow - the memories in this place.
- Star, can I go? Oh, my gosh! [gasps.]
[grunting, panting.]
Look! Old photos from our days at the bounce lounge.
Can we just take photos some other time? Sure, as soon as we take some photos.
[groans.]
- What? - Money.
- Excuse me? - What? Money give me, give me.
Now, come on! Where is it? - Star, I'm not made of money.
- Yes, you are.
Oh! Found it.
Ohh! Six hundred fifty dollars! See, Marco? You're a boy made of money.
Yeah, yeah, that should be enough.
[Star hums tune.]
First let's do a silly one.
Wah! [chuckles.]
Ooh! Okay, now a fighting stance.
Hi-yah! Ooh! Okay, now let's do one where we're stuck inside a monster's belly, and we're slowly drowning in its toxic stomach acid.
[inhales sharply.]
Bleeech! - Okay, I go now.
- Wait! [grunts.]
One more! Best friend pose.
[chimes.]
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, here we go! What the - Marco, what is this? - They look like photos.
These aren't photos.
They're travesties.
- Gee, Star.
- I asked for best friend photos, but these are business acquaintance photos.
So Okay, let me look at the old photos.
What do we got here? Happy-go-lucky, fish face, "Oops, I did it again," too cool for school.
Okay, let's do it.
Ooh! [sighs.]
Perfect! Well, see ya! You know you have my ankle, right? Something's [sighs.]
- Something's not right.
- What? These are exactly the same.
I don't know what you want.
I want your face to look like this face.
- I was just making that face! - Yours was a fake face.
This is a best friend face.
I know the difference.
Nope, that's not it.
Something's off.
These are all travesties! Enough shenanigans.
It's time to get real.
Too big to fail.
[dramatic music.]
- Come on, Marco! - Star, I'm trying.
I know you are, Marco.
But it's not good enough! [alarm blaring.]
[both.]
Hmm? [straining.]
Oh, we're stuck! [engine revving.]
[gasps.]
Oh, no! [engine revving.]
[laughing.]
- Oh, yeah! - Help! Let us out! It's an emergency! [bell dings.]
[beeping.]
It's here.
[screeching.]
[both startle.]
Star? What the heck is that? [mumbles.]
"I dunno.
" Did somebody say "emergency"? [Marco.]
Who are you? I'm Ben Fotino.
Booth repair extraordinaire.
[laughs.]
Does Ponyhead know you live in her photobooth? Does a hot dog have bones in it? Dude, I don't know.
Can you let us out of here, please? Well, I'd like to, but I can't.
It's broken.
Gonna have to take you back to my shop for repairs.
[cackles.]
Wait, what's happening? [cackling.]
[Marco.]
Where are you taking us? No! No! No, no, no, no, no, no! [evil laughter.]
Let us out of here! We gotta get out of here! [grunts.]
[screeching.]
[screams.]
[panting.]
[sighs.]
Hey Hey, Ben? Could you get us out of here, please?! Gotta get my mind juices warmed up.
[gulping loudly.]
Ahh.
Hmm.
[straining.]
Aah! Whoa, whoa! Hmm.
Hmm Well, I think I found your problem.
- Really? - Now, this here photobooth - ain't just any photobooth.
- Is it Is it magic? - It's magic! [screams.]
- Oh, no.
This booth can look deep into your soul seeing all truths that lie beneath them pictures.
- Wow - Well, what does it want from us? Heck if I know.
I ain't no magic photobooth.
Ugh! I hate magic.
- Marco! - Sorry.
I told you something was up with those photos, bub.
I knew it, the booth knew it, - your face knew it.
- What does my face know? That we're not taking best friends photos.
Give the people what they want.
[camera flashing.]
Well, this is gonna take a while.
[grunts.]
Good luck getting out of that death trap.
[snoring.]
All right, what's going on here? You used to love the photobooth.
You're my little camera hog.
I'm I'm just worried about Nachos.
And call me crazy, but I didn't want to end up on a magical adventure today.
But nope, magical adventure.
[Ben snoring.]
Well, I like our adventures, and I thought you liked them, too.
- And we only got one money left.
- What?! Where'd it go? Photobooths are expensive.
- Plus, I gave a tip to Ben.
- Much obliged.
This is all we got left.
[sighs.]
You wanna know what's different in this photo? - This was before.
- Before what? [music.]
Before you told me you had a crush on me.
[gasps, sighs.]
I just blacked out.
Mm go on.
Well, I was caught off-guard by it, and then like a Marco, I never brought it up again, and that stunk.
I stunk.
Well, a lot was going on, but yeah, that stunk.
It's getting harder to end up on these adventures - pretending things aren't different.
- Are they? - They are for me.
- Oh.
Oh.
Oh! Like "different" different? [sighs.]
[groans.]
Well, no wonder we're stuck here hearing truth bombs like that.
[imitates explosion.]
Weird question, but what do your guts feel like? - My guts? - Yeah, my guts were all like [gibbers.]
- you know? - Uh, my guts are more like, [long groan.]
[chuckles.]
Well, they do feel better after you talk about it.
Yeah, I guess.
Last photo.
Anything you need to tell me? No, but there's one last thing I need to do.
What's that? Take the photo the booth is waiting for.
Go get 'em, tiger! [exhales sharply.]
[music.]
[whirring.]
- Uh - Uh [rowdy music.]
Congratulations! Three cheers for the happy new couple! Hip, hip Hip, hip Huzzah! [Star groaning.]
Star? I'm sorry.
It's just the booth.
It's magic! [giggles.]
What? That photobooth ain't magic.
It's just a booth! [laughing.]
Did Did you trap us in there? Look, I seen a lot of pictures in my day, and your photo showed two young'uns who needed a smooch.
You trapped us in there.
I trapped you in there.
Okay, back in the booth.
- We kissed - I thought the booth was magic.
You're my squire.
Which is a job I take very seriously.
I have a boyfriend.
His name is Tom.
I was just trying to get us out of here! Hey I'm glad you were honest with me.
- Just maybe not that honest.
- I'm sorry.
At least it can't get more awkward.
[thud.]
Whoo! - Okay.
- That's enough photobooth.
Now if you kids need any more help, you know where to find me.
[creepy music.]
Creep.
[loud chomping.]
Nachos! [sighs.]
Oh, I was so worried you took her out on a joyride.
Eh, ye of little faith.
[engine revving.]
See ya I'll see ya later, Star.
Hey, boo, sorry.
I've been off falling in love with this pie! [laughs.]
Man, it's getting pretty serious.
[smooches.]
Am I the only one who loves this pie? [phone ringing.]
- Hey, there's your phone.
- Hello? [clatter.]
Something's wrong with Pony.
[startles.]
[music.]
She's a princess winning battles Through the break of dawn Don't worry when it's night 'cause She will keep the lights on Oh, there goes a shining star - # Evil won't deter her - No, sir! # - # 'Cause magic flows through her - Star Butterfly! # She is a shining star