Stargate SG-1 s03e18 Episode Script

Our government has asked us|to return to Tollana .
.
to arrange formal diplomatic|relations with your people.
Consider it done.
You are, after all, the|people who saved us from the Goa'uld.
Thank you.
Yes.
Well, in that spirit,|we'd like to arrange for a trade.
- What would you like to trade?|- Technology.
I'm sorry.
You know that is|the one thing we cannot give you.
Tollan law strictly forbids it.
OK, we understand that.
However,|in our culture, laws can be changed .
.
when the reasons for those laws|are no longer relevant.
The reasons for these laws|are still relevant.
OK.
Please.
If, uh If you'd|just allow me to make our case.
- I assume you want weapons technology.
|- Yes.
One of those ion cannons would be nice.
I see.
And for what will you use such a cannon? To defend ourselves against the Goa'uld.
Forgive me, Colonel, but our research|shows that you are far more likely .
.
to use our "technology"|against enemies on your own planet.
What if I gave you my word|that would never happen? Are you the commander|of your entire nation? - No.
|- Then, in truth, you cannot guarantee it.
- You know what? Forget it.
|- Jack We knew you wouldn't give us anything.
|We're wasting time here.
- Jack|- No, Daniel.
Let's go! (Daniel) Uh, wh-what are you doin'? We never should have saved|their technologically superior butts! - That's what disabled our weapons.
|- As well as the Goa'uld technology.
- Don't even think about it.
|- Isn't this against regulations? I suppose it is, Carter.
Let's go.
- Kind of crossed the line there|- Shut up, Daniel! As you were.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
So, what is this device|you've brought back? It's what the Tollan used to disable|our weapons when we were there.
- And it really works?|- Worked on us.
And the Goa'ulds.
- That should come in handy.
Good job.
|- Thank you, sir.
So, what did you have to|promise them in return, Dr Jackson? Actually, General, we didn't have to|promise to give them anything.
They just gave you the device as a reward|for saving them from the Goa'uld? Actually, the Tollan refused|to give us any technology.
Offered us a nice fruit basket, though.
Well, I'm confused.
|How did you get the device? Major Carter? - Uh|- I took it, sir.
- Took it?|- Yes.
You stole it?! I like to think of it as "borrowed", sir.
- Major Carter'll copy it and we'll return it.
|- I can't believe what I'm hearing! You and your team stole an alien device|from an extremely advanced alien culture.
They won't retaliate,|if that's what you're worried about.
Not their way.
Right, Daniel? This command|has already been accused .
.
of stealing from several|other alien cultures, Colonel.
Until now, we've denied it.
|Perhaps that was a bit premature.
Dare I ask how many|other items you've stolen? None.
This is the first.
Colonel, you don't seem|to understand how serious this is.
You and your team have committed|a court-martiallable offence.
To be fair, General, .
.
l did it.
Carter and Daniel protested.
And Teal'c He said nothing, but I could tell|he was opposed to my actions .
.
by the way he cocked his head|and raised his eyebrow.
Enough, Colonel! Dr Jackson, Major Carter and Teal'c, .
.
you will return this device|immediately to the Tollan .
.
and, hopefully, smooth over|what must be some very ruffled feathers.
- Yes, sir.
|- Why? Our core mission is|to find technologies we can use .
.
to repel Goa'uld incursion.
Am I right? You are bordering on insubordination.
|We do not rob friendlies.
- With no due respect, that's plain stupid!|- Colonel Since the Pentagon won't approve|our programme, we have no choice - Colonel, do not go there!|- .
.
but to take steps to get what we need! As long as I am in command of the SGC, .
.
we will hold ourself|to the highest ethical standards.
And when the Goa'uld wipe us out|because we cannot defend ourselves, .
.
l'm sure we'll all feel great|about our high moral standards.
Colonel O'Neill, you are out of line.
|Now, stand down! Colonel O'Neill, I am hereby|relieving you of your command.
You are to report to the infirmary|and stay there until I send for you.
No holding cell, sir? That could very well be your next stop,|if you say another word.
- (technician) lncoming traveller.
|- Now, go to the infirmary .
.
and submit yourself|for a complete examination.
Teal'c, escort him.
And, Teal'c, .
.
you are no longer under Colonel|O'Neill's command.
Is that understood? Understood.
(technician) Unauthorised|incoming traveller.
Closing the iris.
Great(!) Now what? Hold your fire! Your Eminence, welcome to Earth.
High Chancellor Travell, this is General|Hammond, commander of this facility.
It's an honour to meet you.
I only wish it were under|more pleasant circumstances.
We have come to retrieve|our stolen property .
.
and to tell you all diplomatic relations|with your people will be terminated.
Of course, we will return|your property to you immediately.
But, please, if you will just sit down|with us and at least talk about it.
Then you admit you have stolen from us.
Your Eminence, you're wise enough|not to hold the actions of one man - .
.
against an entire planet.
|- You were there, Dr Jackson.
As were you, Major.
And Teal'c.
Who exactly are you saying|is responsible? Thanks, Doc.
As always, a pleasure.
I don't see anything wrong with you.
Your blood pressure,|DRE and EEGL seem normal.
It'll be a while before I get your|hormone levels and CAT scans back.
Great.
Let me know what kind of|wacky alien stuff you find in there.
Excuse me.
I am to keep you here until|General Hammond is ready for you.
Get out of my way, Teal'c.
|That's an order.
(phone rings) - I do not understand your behaviour.
|- Get out of my way! (Dr Fraiser) Fraiser.
Yes, sir.
Colonel, General Hammond|wants to see you in his office.
Carter.
Sir? What? - Is there anything I can do?|- About? Well, sir, with respect,|you aren't exactly acting like yourself.
No, Carter.
I haven't been acting like myself|since I met you.
Now I'm acting like myself.
Well, look who's here.
Come to retrieve|your vastly superior stuff? It'd be a lot more superior|if it wasn't so easy to steal.
(Hammond) Colonel O'Neill! Get in here and take a seat!|Close the door! My God, Jack,|you've really crossed the line here.
In terms of my insubordination to you,|you're absolutely right, General.
And for that I'm truly sorry.
|But I still think what I did was right.
I just met with two members of|the Tollan High Council who disagree.
The Tollan are dictating our policies now? The victims of a crime are demanding the|perpetrator be dealt with appropriately.
- I'm a criminal?|- What you've done is court-martiallable.
I have to press charges.
Well, by all means, General,|do what you have to do.
I do have one other option|I can offer you, Jack.
- What's that?|- Early retirement.
Now, see, I tried that once before|and you pulled me out of it.
The offer is only on the table|while you're in this room.
All this for one little indiscretion? Five counts of direct insubordination|to superior officers and a US senator.
Two counts of refusal to obey orders.
|Kidnapping an alien child.
- Should I go on?|- The proverbial straw, sir? You got it.
I'd accept the offer,|if I were you, Jack.
Beats the hell out of the prison time|you'd get otherwise.
Then I guess I'm retiring.
(doorbell) Hi.
- What do you want?|- I'm not sure, to tell you the truth.
- I'm here to talk, I guess.
|- So talk.
- You got another one of those?|- Yeah.
Feel like sharing? Beer? Sure.
So - How are you feelin' about all this?|- Yes to the beer.
No to the feelings.
That's too bad, because|I don't really like beer.
Stop your worryin'.
I'm fine.
Really? That's that's funny .
.
because I didn't figure you for|the early-retirement type any more.
- There's another reason you're angry.
|- Oh, here we go.
Pop psych 101 , right? No.
When we were in the briefing, .
.
you said something about the Pentagon|not giving us the backup we requested.
What, uh what were you talking about? Hammond and I were planning|a secondary SGC base off-world.
It was gonna serve as a backup if ours|was attacked.
I was gonna command.
Then the Pentagon pulled the plug? So you're acting up because you're hurt|because you didn't get a command.
Give me a break, Daniel.
Denial of the programme shows they're|not serious about attaining our goals.
- Which you think is attaining weapons?|- Protecting ourselves.
But isn't our mission also about|establishing relations with other cultures? What for, if we gain nothing|to help our other interests? There's a lot we can learn from the Tollan|that has nothing to do with weapons.
Stuff that interests people like you, Daniel.
|Not people like me.
I want to see tangible gains|from our efforts.
And if people like the Tollan|don't want to share, we should just take.
- You believe that?|- Being nice .
.
won't stop any Goa'uld|mother ships, if they come back.
I'd rather be a thief and alive than honest|and dead.
It's a cliche, but there it is.
If you really believe that, I guess, uh - .
.
l guess I never really knew you at all.
|- Come on.
You're a bright guy.
You had to sense some of this.
Then no.
I I guess you couldn't relate to me|any more than I could to you.
So this friendship we've been|working on the last few years Apparently, not much of|a foundation there, huh? (doorbell) (doorbell) Colonel O'Neill.
What the hell is this? A joke, Maybourne?|What are you doin' here? Well, in a way, you invited me.
Come to gloat about|my retirement, have you? - May I come in?|- No.
I'm in no way obligated|to put up with your crap any more.
I think you're gonna wanna hear|what I have to offer you.
Offer? - May I sit down?|- No.
You won't be here that long.
What's this about? I heard about your little|altercation with General Hammond.
Sweet little grapevine we got.
Let's just say I see a lot of paper|that goes through the mountain.
I was interested|in your passionate argument .
.
that we shouldn't be quite so diplomatic|about acquiring the things we need.
Get to the point.
What if I said I could offer you|a way to achieve your goals? - My goals?|- Yes.
What if I said I could arrange for you|to lead a team through the gate .
.
to acquire whatever you want, whenever|you want? For the good of this country.
If I believed you could do that, I'd have|to figure whatever you're doing is illegal.
What you did yesterday|was illegal, Colonel.
Get out.
Not interested.
Page me when you|miss the action too much.
- For what purpose were we summoned?|- My guess is we're getting our fourth.
Who do you think it'll be? Probably someone like Ferretti.
|You'll get command.
I don't know about that.
They'll probably|go with someone higher than major.
As you were.
Since SG-1 is considered|the flagship unit, .
.
it falls on me to assure that|you have the strongest leadership.
Therefore I'm reassigning our most senior|officer as your new commanding officer.
Colonel Makepeace will be joining SG-1 .
|I hope you'll make him feel welcome.
Um, sir? Uh I don't wanna|seem out of line here, .
.
but since I'm a civilian here, I'm probably|the only one who can say this Spit it out, Doctor.
Well, no offence, but doesn't Major|Carter deserve to take charge of SG-1? Major Carter has|an exemplary record on the team, .
.
as recognised by|her recent promotion to major.
- But major is a far cry from colonel.
|- I understand, General.
I'm sorry, I don't.
What difference does it|make what title she has? The point is It's all right, Daniel.
Really.
Dismissed.
I'm proud to join you folks.
I hope you'll learn to trust my command|as much as you did Colonel O'Neill's.
- I'm sure we will, sir.
|- I never trusted Jack's command, but - .
.
l'm open.
|- That's good.
Then I'll see you at our first briefing.
- ( Leoncavallo's "I Pagliacci")|- (vehicle pulls up) What took you so long? I didn't think you'd get bored so fast,|or I would have stayed in town.
Not quite the student of human behaviour|you thought you were? Are you ready to go? - I have some questions.
|- Can't tell you much.
You expect me to jump|into this operation blind? Are you interested in my offer or not? (turns up volume) I'm interested.
Good.
I want to be sure|you understand one thing, O'Neill.
What I'm about to show you is|not so much "classified" as it is "secret".
"Dangerous" would be|another word I would use.
Keep talkin'.
Understand that, once you see|what I'm about to show you, .
.
there is no turning back.
You will have the choice|to go along with it or disappear.
Disappear? This is your last chance to back out.
Well, if you promise|to cut back on the melodrama, .
.
l'll consider crossin' the line.
- So, where are we going?|- Nowhere in particular.
I find being 30,000 feet up greatly reduces|the chances of any effective surveillance.
Do you know what this is? I assume it's one of those|Goa'uld communication balls.
We didn't have to negotiate for it either.
- Who's "we"?|- My organisation.
- NID?|- Mmm More of an offshoot.
Ah.
That sort of says it all, doesn't it? I want you to command a unit.
- There are units?|- Oh, yes.
Would you like to meet the temporary|commander of the unit I want you to run? I guess.
Took us a while to figure out how to use|this without a Goa'uld at the controls.
But good old human ingenuity|eventually won out.
- Colonel Maybourne.
|- Newman.
I'd like you to meet|Colonel Jack O'Neill.
Retired.
It is a pleasure, sir.
Read just about|all the SG-1 mission briefings .
.
and, uh Well, let's just say|your file is very impressive.
It'd be an honour to serve|under your command, Colonel.
Hello, Newman.
- You look familiar.
|- Yes, sir.
We have met briefly.
In a hangar at a Utah landing strip.
You're who we chased|through the other Stargate.
That would be me.
|I apologise about having to return fire, sir.
Hm.
- Where are you?|- He's on another planet.
Your mission, Newman? Use any means necessary to acquire|technology to help Earth .
.
in the battle against the Goa'ulds|or other unforeseen aggressors.
You've seen myfile, Newman.
|It's only fair I know more about you.
Need-to-know, Colonel.
I need to know|if I'm to command this unit.
You agree to go and take command, I'll|give you files on each one of your people.
How about it? You ready for a command|where you can finally achieve .
.
what you and I both agree needs|to be achieved to defend this planet? I never thought I'd agree with you|about anything, Maybourne.
But yeah.
I'm ready.
Major Carter has accepted my command|with no problem, sir.
But I'm afraid Dr Jackson|and the Jaffa have not.
Well, maybe if you didn't think of him|as "the Jaffa", it would be a good start.
- (knock at door)|- Come in.
Jack, come in.
- You know Colonel Makepeace.
|- Yeah.
- How's the retirement going?|- Uh great.
I retire, I wake up, I retire.
It's it's a living.
I'm bored out of my skull, sir.
I'm sorry to hear that.
- Something I can help you with?|- Actually, there is, General.
Would you like me to leave, Jack? I don't care.
- We're not finished, Colonel Makepeace.
|- I'll make it fast, General.
I'm hoping you could|grant me one last favour.
I'm listening.
I want to retire off-world.
Jack, I don't know You remember that woman I told you|about on Edora? Laira was her name.
- Yes.
|- I promised her I'd come back some day.
I'm asking you|to help me keep that promise.
Please.
If I agree to do this,|you know I can't give you a GDO.
That means you can never|return to Earth through the gate.
I understand that, sir.
Colonel Colonel O'Neill.
It is an honour, sir.
Newman.
We may look a little ragtag,|but we're very good at what we do.
Which is stealing stuff.
Well, acquiring what we need|to defend our planet.
And you measure how good you are by|the fact that you've never been caught? Well, and by the spoils of our missions.
Would you care to take a gander|at one of our latest acquisitions? Sure.
I'll take a gander.
This way, sir.
- What do you think?|- Just brought it back.
- It's an anti-gravitation device.
|- Really? - Lieutenant Clare Tobias, sir.
|- Tobias.
Jack O'Neill.
If it's all right, sir, I'll leave you|in the lieutenant's very capable hands.
So tell me about this thing.
It uses superconducted gyroscopic action|to generate an anti-gravitational field Stop.
- Scientist?|- Engineer.
Why? You remind me of someone|in my old command.
- Major Carter.
|- How do you know her? She beat me out of a position in the SGC.
Oh.
So, what do you do around here? My job is to examine|some of the larger items we acquire.
The ones too big to be|transported back to Earth.
See if we can backwards-engineer them|and send the plans home to Maybourne.
Sir, Colonel Maybourne|would like to talk to you.
Yeah? Tobias.
Jack! I see you made it in one piece.
- What do you think of our little operation?|- It's swell, Harry.
We do what we can to make it|comfortable.
I have your first mission.
- Planet PX3-595.
|- About time we got one of those things.
SG-9 was unable to negotiate|to get the device.
- What device are we talkin' about?|- Newman can fill you in on all the details.
Good luck, Colonel.
- Thanks.
|- And, Colonel, just a reminder.
This isn't the SGC.
So if someone|gets in your way, do what you have to do.
OK, the mouth of the cave we're gonna hit|is 50 metres at two o'clock from the gate.
The primitive locals are called Tiernods.
|They use 'em to hide from predators.
If a predator goes into the cave, Tiernods|use the device we're after to vanish.
Very nice.
- Clear.
|- (Tobias) Bingo.
You're gonna love this.
- Pretty cool, huh?|- What the? - That thing looks Asgard.
|- It is.
This is an Asgard-protected planet.
Can you imagine the ways we could|use this for black ops on Earth? Yep.
But it's not on Earth.
You gonna be|able to backwards-engineer this thing? Don't have to.
Items this small|we just send back to Earth.
- How?|- Got a man on the inside, on an SG team.
Maybourne tells us|where the mole's team will go.
We get there first,|make the drop and come back.
The mole comes in later, retrieves|the item and packs it back in his gear.
It's about time he got back to us.
Hello, team.
You get the device? - Yep.
|- Good.
I have the time and coordinates|for the drop.
Just drop and go.
- No contact.
|- OK.
I'm sending the coordinates|and time info.
Record them.
(electronic signal) Alex? - Want me to go, sir?|- No.
I'll go.
- Really?|- Yeah.
Best way to understand a command|is to do every job yourself at least once.
That's your prerogative, Colonel.
(chevrons locking) All right, let's make this quick.
|Carter, Dr Jackson, run your tests.
Let's see if the intel was right|about naqahdah deposits here.
How'd it go, sir? Maybourne had the coordinates right,|but his timing sucked! I just about ran into the SG team|on my way back.
(rumbling) What's goin' on?! Sir Sir, we do not open the gate without|direct orders from Colonel Maybourne! Colonel, what are you doin'?! Opening up some options! There's an Asgard ship|descending over the base! What are they doing? Taking back|what's rightfully theirs, I guess.
Listen up, all of you.
|You've got two choices here.
Once they stop takin' stuff,|they're gonna start takin' people.
Now, you can go with the Asgard.
Or you can follow me.
It's your choice.
I'll be holdin' the door open|so you can't go anywhere else.
(Stargate alarm) Hands together.
Got you now, Newman.
Good job, kids.
|Give me one of those things.
Here.
What the hell? What are you doing?! That would be my job.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to|announce that you are all under arrest .
.
for high crimes against|the United States and its allies.
(buzzer, door unlocking) - You really blew it, O'Neill.
|- Oh, I think it came off quite nicely.
- Don't you, General?|- Yes, I do.
You have no idea how high up this goes.
|You've pissed off the wrong people.
Like the Tollan, Tok'ra, Asgard, Nox|Those folks? They refuse to give us what we need|to defend ourselves against the Goa'uld.
We don't need their stuff, Makepeace.
We do need them.
Get them out of here.
So, just to, uh clarify.
This whole past week, beginning|with the appeal we made on Tollana, .
.
in which I did a lot of hard work|by the way, I take it that was all a scam? Within the last two weeks, the Asgard|and the Tollan approached us .
.
with evidence that we were|stealing technology from them.
- We? The SGC?|- Yes.
The Asgard, the Tollan and the Nox|were going to sever all ties with us.
We convinced them the theft must be the|action of a rogue group outside the SGC.
We insisted that you|apprehend them yourselves.
You have now regained our trust.
(Carter) So you set that|whole thing up on Tollana .
.
in the hopes that the mole|would approach you? And you didn't think|you could trust us to help? We wanted to assure your reaction to the|Colonel's behaviour was as it should be.
And the Asgard insisted that|Colonel O'Neill be the only one involved.
They like me.
And now, will you come with me,|Your Eminence? I'm back.
It's good to have you back, sir.
- Indeed.
|- Thank you.
Um Daniel? Mm.
- That stuff I talked about at my house|- Um - It was bugged.
I had to keep up the act.
|- It's I understand.
Obviously, the whole friendship thing,|the foundation is solid.
Uh, obviously.
You don't|You don't have to No, I feel kind of I do appreciate that|you came to see if I was OK.
That That means something.
Uh actually, no, it doesn't.
- Huh?|- Um We, uh, we drew straws.
I lost.