Andi Mack (2017) s03e19 Episode Script

1 ANDI MACK: Previously on Andi Mack - Hey.
- What is that? A stress fracture.
I did this to myself by running a marathon without training.
Sometime last year, my dad made an investment.
Which I guess it went extremely bad.
Had to declare bankruptcy.
I think of that as a board game word.
Except, you lose your actual house.
Did you get my email? ANDI: What am I looking at? BEX: Shadyside Academy of Visual Arts.
SAVA! Do you know what this place is? It's an art school.
It's a high school.
You should apply.
ANDI: I think you were right about this place.
I really want to go here.
JONAH: What's that? Should I do it or not? I'd say no.
No.
Sent? Oh, no! Welcome to the first, and probably only, Great American Toast-Off.
I'm your judge Cyrus Goodman, and Who are you talking to? Just trying to set the scene.
Geez! Jonah, we'll start with you.
CYRUS: Tell me what you've done with your toast.
- I burnt it.
- A-ha.
I see.
Toasters are the trickiest appliance in the kitchen.
And now, a taste.
I wouldn't.
(TOAST DROPS) Buffy, eager to see your creation.
BUFFY: Bread, butter, heat.
I call it "Deconstructed Toast.
" Guys, all you had to do was make toast.
Jonah was using the toaster! Okay, my turn.
My turn.
If what you have under here is toast, you win.
(COUGHS) Show off.
She won.
She definitely won.
Uh, it's not an official win until I've tasted it.
Hmm.
Perfect browning.
Good crunch.
And something else.
What am I tasting? - Glue.
- Hmm? Did I win? (THEME SONG PLAYING) I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh is blown away Life is upside down But any way it goes I'll work it out Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Here we go - One, two, three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow - Tomorrow starts today - Hey There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way Hey All the way Oh, found a corner! (EXCLAIMS) Found another corner! I can't believe it.
This is the first thing I've ever won! Thank you! Okay.
So we'll see you tomorrow.
- Bye.
Thank you again.
- What did you win? - Oh, a car! - Flying lessons.
- Ooh, flying lessons.
- It's not flying lessons.
- All-new furniture.
- What's wrong with our furniture? Seriously? - Hawaiian vacation! - Stop guessing.
You're gonna make the thing I actually did win seem not as cool as it is.
What did you win? What did you win? You guys have heard of Raoul Ricci, right? - I have not.
- Nope.
- Who? - The chef.
Raoul Ricci.
With the four-star restaurants.
He's a super-famous chef who just, like, quit one day and said he'd never open another restaurant, and then basically went off and became a hermit.
Is he the prize? Did we win a hermit? Kind of a cool prize, actually.
The prize is, he still loves to cook.
So you put your name on a list, and every so often he picks someone to come to his home and he cooks them a once-in-a-lifetime meal! None of you have ever heard of this? It must be hard to find a good publicist if you're a hermit.
I shouldn't have said "hermit.
" He's more of a recluse.
So, he's a hermit with a phone? Okay, look.
This is a big deal.
People come from all over the world for this opportunity.
I'm going, and you're all invited, but if you don't want to come Of course we're coming, especially now that you have us dying of curiosity.
- Where does he live? - On Mount Washington.
Ooh! In one of those mansions? Well, by "on" I didn't mean "on top.
" He's more of "in the middle.
" - Oh, in a cave? - No, it's not a cave anymore.
Okay, you know what? This is not for me.
I have a refrigerator.
I don't need to go to this much trouble to eat.
Well, whatever you want, Mom.
But you do realize you're gonna have to listen to the rest of us rhapsodize about this for, well, ever.
I'll survive.
Come on, you guys.
I need two more corners.
(SIGHS) You know what? This is not for me, this puzzle.
- You know what? We have a TV.
- BOWIE: Yeah.
You know what We do not need to go to this much trouble to have fun.
Okay.
I get it.
(CHUCKLES) So, if I go to lunch in a cave, you'll help me with my puzzle? Is that the deal? - Yes.
- That's the deal.
- I'll take it.
- Yay! - On one condition.
- (GROANS) CELIA: We're gonna need a bigger puzzle.
This food better be really, really good.
Yeah.
Guys, I can walk faster.
This is actually my preferred pace.
- How's it feeling? - Fine.
Are you gonna be okay for tomorrow afternoon? 'Cause we have that thing.
I just said it's fine.
- I'll be there.
- I don't know if I will.
- What? - You have to be there.
I want to be, but my dad got a new job and we rented an apartment.
Jonah, that's great! Yeah, things are looking up.
Except we're moving tomorrow morning, and I don't know how long it's gonna take.
So, I might have to miss the thing.
Not an option.
We'll help you.
Can you? Stop coddling me.
Look, I can lift Cyrus.
And I can hold the door open while Buffy is lifting Cyrus-sized things.
That's great.
Thanks, guys.
I'll see you tomorrow.
This is nice.
Mom, we good? You know where you're going? I've got my map.
We're all set.
(SEAT WHIRRING) (SIDE MIRROR WHIRRING) (EXHALES) My visor, please.
- Oh, cute.
- Thanks.
- It's new.
- Mom, come on! Oh, I need my sunglasses.
- Nope.
These are the wrong ones.
- ANDI: What? - BEX: Mom! - I like those.
What's wrong with those? Oh, found them.
Great.
Can we please go? As soon as you stop whining.
I'm not whining! Okay.
Now we can go.
BOWIE: Someone's in the kitchen with the hermit Please stop calling him the hermit.
Someone's in the kitchen with the chef who better be worth it Fine.
Hermit.
BOWIE: Someone's in the kitchen I know oh, oh, oh Fee-fi-fiddly-i-o ALL: Fee-fi-fiddly-i-o Fee-fi-fiddly-i-o It's probably the sous chef - Is this right? - It is.
That way.
Panther's Hollow? Are there panthers around here? No.
Right? Maybe one.
- (GROWLS) - (SCREAMS) (ALL LAUGHING) Oh, I'm hungry.
Mom, you were supposed to wear comfortable shoes.
I told you there'd be a bit of a hike.
These are my most comfortable heels.
We're meeting a famous chef.
I want to make a good impression.
You would understand if you were five-foot nothing.
We've come together So let's touch the sky Let's touch the sky Let it take us higher It's just you and I Come on, put your hands up (LAUGHING) Does Andi know where she's going? It's a path, Mom.
It's very self-explanatory.
ANDI: Which way? With one or two forks.
Wait for us! Cyrus, look at you! I'm moving furniture! What's next? I can already feel my sleeves getting tighter.
This is the last piece of furniture.
Just those crates and we're done.
Who's been perpetuating the myth that I'm frail? - That was you.
- Oh, yeah.
(SCREAMS) CYRUS: Buffy! Buffy! You were doing so well.
Everything okay? You need help? You gotta see this.
She's real.
Judy Bartholomew is real.
- This is a real thing.
- What is? "Hot to Trot! Trot to Hot!" Who is Judy Bartholomew? What am I looking at? You've seen her videos online, haven't you? No.
- I have.
- It's a classic! Like, 20 million views.
No exaggeration.
Funniest thing ever! Am I right? - I guess.
- It is! I'll show you.
I'm gonna get another box.
Here it is.
Hello there.
It's Judy.
And I want you to come with me to trot your way to hot.
- (CYRUS LAUGHING) - Do you feel like a pony? Yeah.
Follow us.
BOTH: "Do you feel like a pony?" Giddyup! (BOTH LAUGH) Look at the guys! - Giddyup! - I thought it was totally fake, but Judy Bartholomew is real.
And Jonah's mom has all of her DVDs.
She even has them on VHS.
She really liked Judy Bartholomew.
Hey, bud.
Sorry I'm late.
Do I finally get to meet your friends? Uh, sure.
Is that It is! You're Judy Bartholomew.
Also, my-my mom.
(GASPS) - Where is this place? - We're almost there.
You keep saying that, but we're still not there.
It's just over the next rise.
- Maybe we took a wrong turn.
- We didn't.
- That last fork back there - We're almost there.
You could at least come up with a new lie.
Is there a map? Yes, there is a map.
So, show us the map.
See? Map.
- Why can't we see it? - Because we're lost.
- Are we lost.
- We're not lost.
We're obviously lost.
I got this.
Hey.
You know you can trust me, right? Of course.
So, what's really going on here? If you tell me, I'll keep it to myself.
They're just looking for a little reassurance.
About what? That you know what you're doing.
You know you can trust me, right? Of course.
Then do that.
What did she say? I need a reason not to turn around and go home.
I promised I wouldn't say anything.
But it's gonna be worth it.
Okay? You guys are gonna love it.
("DEAR LOVE" PLAYING) All the roses seem to fade And somehow I have lost my way Sunlight always turns to shade JUDY: That's it.
You got it.
Am I doing it? No.
Jonah, come show him.
He's really good at it.
That's okay.
- Please, Jonah.
- We moved your furniture! - Just one trot.
- One little trot.
(LAUGHS) Come on.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) Wow! What? I've been doing it since I was six.
Don't you kids have to be somewhere? - Oh, yeah.
- We gotta go.
We have to go.
Rocks! - Rocks? - Oh, rocks.
BEX: No, no, no, no.
Guys, no! Don't stop now.
We're here.
We made it.
- Just around the next bend.
- No more bends.
- Make it stop! - (GROANS) I'd be so happy if a panther came through right now and ate me! This is the last bend.
I swear, I swear, I swear.
If our destination isn't there It is.
Trust me.
Come on.
(GROANS) CELIA: Where are we? BOWIE: What is this place? Is that the hermit chef? It's It's Cyrus.
And Buffy.
Does anyone want hand-warmers? - Oh, yeah.
Yes.
- Please.
Thanks.
What's going on? What're you guys doing here? Where is the hermit chef? Hermit chef? What? There is no hermit chef.
What about the incredible meal that you won.
I made that up.
I actually didn't win a meal.
So, that whole story that you told us it's not true? Not one word.
(SCOFFS) I just climbed a mountain in heels! Hey.
I just climbed a mountain in heels.
Then why are we here? What did we come all this way for? Our wedding.
Our what now? What? What did she say? Did Did she just say (ANDI SQUEALS) ANDI: What? (BOTH GASP) Is Is this really happening? (CELIA GASPS) It's really happening.
Finally! ("YOU GIRL" PLAYING) You, girl, are the answer and the question A completely new dimension (INAUDIBLE) You, girl, took my heart but you can keep it If you don't want it, I don't need it, anyhow You're everything I've learned so far And the things that I don't know yet Every sunset, every star I can list all that you are Never felt so crazy Never been so calm What you do to me Is a total mystery Oh, oh, oh You, girl, give me peace, you give me laughter You're my before and ever after You, girl, are my now and my forever Say we'll always be together Say we'll always be together Every second, every minute What was my life without you in it? Don't remember, I'll forget I was born the day we met You know, you're everything to me All I want and all I need You are my now and my forever Say we'll always be (PHONE RINGING) Some people! (RINGING CONTINUES) Wait.
- It's mine.
- (LAUGHS) Sorry.
Carry on.
You know, you're everything to me All I want and all I need You are my now and my forever Say we'll always be together Oh, oh, oh Say we'll always be together - We did it.
- Thank you for sticking it out.
Say we'll always be together - Guess what? - What? You're my wife.
You're my husband.
I can't believe it happened.
They got married.
And no one said "um.
" Remember when you said you didn't like to hug? Remember when you said you couldn't plan a wedding? You know what I want to remember? What? This.
JUDY: Do you feel like a pony? Yeah.
Follow us.
Yeah.
Feel the burn.
Woo-hoo! Giddyup! (LAUGHING) I can't! This is too funny.
You wanted to know what we did today? We spent it with her.
No, you didn't! You met her? She's real? Where? How? I introduced them.
Oh, okay.
Because you know her? She's my mother.
No, she's not.
Jonah, why didn't you tell me? I feel awful.
I'm so sorry.
Don't feel awful.
It is funny.
For a long time, I thought it was really embarrassing.
I never wanted to introduce her to anybody.
Until today.
And she is the sweetest, cutest person.
You will instantly love her.
Well, I can't wait to meet her.
- You will.
- And your dad.
Oh, we have to meet your dad now.
Is he in the video? One of those hairy guys with the short shorts.
He's the one on the left.
He's joking! Look at his face.
He's obviously joking.
Yeah.
Bonus points for holding that expression, dude.
Guys, I don't think he was joking.
(BOTH SCREAM) (LAUGHS) It's just us.
Just your mom and dad.
- Just your husband.
- Just your wife.
(SIGHS) I'm so happy right now.
So am I.
Me too.
ANDI: Next on Andi Mack (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) - JONAH: Hey.
- Hey! I have something for you.
- Can I sit? - Sure.
Hey! I thought you were funny.
That sounded like an actual compliment.
It was.
What's going on? I want to show you guys something.
I don't like the sound of that.
Did you know about this? Why would you do this?