Andromeda s03e19 Episode Script

the slipstream is collapsing.
drop us out before we tear apart.
no.
no.
i can hold it.
i'm dropping us out now.
hang on.
this is going to be rough.
well, now the prolon system.
no wonder slipstream collapsed.
what's with the prolon system? well, for one thing, it's a system-wide navigational nightmare.
i'm picking up transient solar clusters and serious gravitational rip tides, and we're enveloped in it.
well, just wait until you meet the locals- a veritable who's who of the dangerous and the moronic who cull their cumulative livelihood accepting the hazardous waste of other systems.
i strongly suggest we avoid these idiots.
well, i love a good suggestion.
beka, take us out with standard engines and try not to bump into anything.
ha ha, and forget it.
our nav systems can't see through the radioactive waste.
i have no idea which way is out.
i'm picking up a hibernation capsule traveling at a substantial velocity, one occupant, distress signal disarmed.
it's being chased by three armed ships.
our trip through the looking glass begins.
there's a window in the capsule.
magnify.
perhaps we should attempt a rescue.
what a surprise.
[ crash .]
battle stations.
i've been hit by some kind of corrosive material.
hull breach on deck 12.
deck 11.
that fast? arming forward bays.
dylan, we're floating in an ocean of unstable material.
just one of our missiles could chain-ignite the entire system.
us included.
tyr, back off.
what are they shooting at us? of the very same toxic waste that surrounds them, balled up into missile form.
there are 4.
9 metric tons of highly concentrated corrosive waste directly above command.
andromeda,adjust ship's pressure to isolate the breaches.
yeah, don't worry about me.
i'm good.
hull rupture in 27 seconds.
and when i thought our sleeping beauty needed rescuing the universe is a dangerous place, but in our future, my crew and i fight to make it safe.
i am dylan hunt, captain of theandromeda ascendant, and these are our adventures.
may i suggest we retire to auxiliary control on another deck? if five tons of that comes through command, it won't make any difference.
hull rupture in 15 seconds.
rommie, reverse artificial gravity on the decks above us.
reversing grav.
and maintaining standard gravity on command deck.
that was simple.
if they shoot again, the effects will be worse.
the corrosion has a cumulative effect.
where are those other three ships? they're still racing us to get to that capsule.
we scoop her up first, they'll back off.
another hull breach on deck 18.
all three ships are re-arming.
to the capsule five got her.
good.
incoming communique from one of the pursuing ships.
of course.
this is the consulate for the royal house of prolon.
you will hand over our escaped capsule immediately.
you have taken aboard a member of the royal house of prolon.
if you do not hand her over to us, we will resume firing.
and-and destroy her in the process? no, i don't think so.
listen, why don't you lower your weapon arrays and- give us our princess.
we will not wait long for your response.
everywhere we go, friendly people.
accessing the royal computer.
princess tura, the most popular member of the royal family, disappeared as a child during a violent revolution, assumed dead.
she resurfaced one year ago in a convent.
how dramatic.
trance, take our princess to med deck.
i'll meet you there.
tyr, what do you think? where is tyr? on his way to his quarters.
the answer is no.
of course it is.
i just came here to find out why.
because the prolon people are the most gullible, unenlightened- they are more impoverished than anything else, and desperate people are easily swayed by their authority figures.
the prolons want to believe in something, anything, so badly, they'll make authority figures out of anyone, clinging to one belief system after another.
no.
are you telling me i should send harper? dylan, the prolon royal delegation is requesting permission to come aboard and see their princess.
if you agree, they will stand down their weaponry.
and i'll tell you another thing.
no one is who they seem to be.
they are a confederacy of idiots awash in a garbage system.
they even shoot lethal garbage at each other.
that's what hit us.
that's all they have.
the bottom line is our navigation systems are useless in this place.
we may need these people, and i could use your expertise.
i suggested leaving the moment we arrived.
but if you remember, i actually agreed with you for the first time, and we couldn't leave.
don't you appreciate the tragic irony in that, tyr? thank you so much for stopping by.
andromeda, let them board, unarmed, but monitor them as if they were.
this outdated prolon tech is making it difficult to bring her out.
she's in a self-induced coma state.
how did she expect anyone to find her? i have a feeling her highness didn't want to be found.
request permission to address her majesty.
is she okay to talk? yes, she's fine.
of course.
your highness mm who has rescued me? i have, your highness.
i'm captain dylan hunt.
you may all rise.
your highness, we've been searching for days.
why were you on that escape vessel? consul, does your job entail questioning my actions? no, your highness, but, your highness, why are you wearing those clothes? where am i now? you're on board theandromeda ascendant.
did you want to slap me again? your highness? yes? he engaged three destroyers to steal your escape vessel.
well, hold on.
that's not exactly true.
you plucked me from space under fire? well, under fire wasn't my idea.
your highness, we must get you back to your vessel now.
she leaves here of her own free will, okay, pal? what are you doing in prolon system, captain? we're trying to find a way out.
you see, we had to abort slipstream, and, well, your prolon environment makes our navigational systems useless.
our crews navigate by sight, which requires an intimate familiarity of the prolon surroundings.
i would be happy to escort you.
that would be lovely.
hmm.
mm.
whew.
your ai has been watching me like a hawk.
security is her favorite pastime.
i'm subjected to security every waking moment.
you know, your highness, if we take a sharp right at the next corner, we might be able to escape the scrutiny of your entourage.
that would be lovely.
rommie, full security mode, deck 19.
aye, captain.
wow.
now the real tour begins.
fair enough, but we're going to have to be frank with each other.
okay, you be frank.
i'll be francesca.
you were trying to escape your own subjects.
don't you ever get bored, want to try something new? don't you get tired of the same old crew, day after day? so where were you heading? i could tell you that, but then i'd have to sleep with you.
i wonder what i'm going to find when i scan your dna.
will i have to take my clothes off? okay, princess tura, or whoever you are- please, call me francesca.
enough.
look, a long time ago, i had a chance to get ahead in this galactic backwater, and i took it.
by impersonating a dead princess? she's not dead.
do you have something against living the good life? i mean, so what? it cost me a little white lie? look, i don't have any power.
the royal family controls everything.
you know what i'm thinking? i'm thinking that your game is over.
not yet.
you see, my subjects believe that i can somehow singlehandedly guide them to some happy ending.
and you couldn't deliver, and that's when you decided to run away.
if they find out the truth, they will kill me.
and i'm supposed to save you? look, i'll guide you to the edge of the system.
then you can drop me off after you're done with me.
eventually, you're going to have to tell your loyal subjects the truth.
i'm going to have to think about that.
do we have a deal? hmm i'm going to have to think about that.
the approaching ship is armed and battle ready.
they're making the royal destroyers back way off.
rommie, locate dylan.
dylan is in conference.
well, whoever they are, they're using the same weapon as the royals.
can't we just fire one teeny weeny little missile? no.
no.
no.
with us in the middle? those prolon ships are out there as well.
it's a tinderbox.
point taken.
rommie, get dylan out of "conference.
" if you don't break off your attack, we will return fire.
there's a good chance that your system could go up in flames.
the prolon order of monks are ready to die in their quest.
uh, well, that's very suicidal of you.
however, i don't believe the rest of the inhabitants in your system want you deciding their fate.
our goddess is onboard your vessel.
surrender her or die.
princess tura.
positively the same dame.
[ crash .]
bad just got worse.
let's try to keep our heads here, okay.
if you continue to fire at us, chances are the only thing surviving will be my ship.
we do not believe you.
hajin na will protect us.
all right, wait.
um, about your goddess- hajin na, she has a plan.
you speak for hajin na? sure.
why not? she wishes you to come aboard so we can continue our discourse.
dylan we accept your invitation, captain.
whew.
stand down.
dylan, she's surrounded by her royal subjects.
there's no way she's going to cop to scamming those monks.
who knows how many scams she's got going? exactly.
we'd better find out, though.
if somebody starts shooting, we all go up in smoke.
we all go up in garbage.
those monks are dangerous, captain.
huh.
they struck me as true believers.
they worship the hajin na.
well, apparently, this hajin na has disappeared, and they're on some holy quest to find her.
this does not please me.
i wish to return to our home planet immediately.
your highness agreed to provide navigation out of prolon system.
now i disagree.
oh, come on.
we shook and everything.
ready my ship.
we're turning around.
excuse me, captain.
we are disembarking now.
as you wish.
the docking bay is right this way, and the monks are arriving as we speak.
it'll be a good chance for you to say hi.
the monks are boarding now? yes.
that's why we stopped.
i will retire to my quarters until captain hunt has satisfied the curiosity of our misled monks.
i'm sure he'll deal with them quickly so we can continue on our way.
well, i'll be sure to give them your best diplomatic regards, of course.
hajin na among infidels from the royal house of prolon if this is an overture to war- maybe her plan involves bringing peace between you.
hajin na forbade all communication with the royal subjects.
we must have no contact.
hmm.
that makes perfect sense.
it is imperative that she return to us, captain.
the people are dying.
they cannot feed themselves.
caused by her disappearance? perhaps.
hajin na also asks that all followers give up their material wealth to the church.
she says money only hinders the path to enlightenment.
i noticed it didn't hinder her from buying a really big ship.
we are used to facing accusations, captain.
even the ministry of justice tried to bring charges against her.
and that's when your goddess disappeared.
her ways are unknowable to us.
i know what you mean.
right this way.
here you go, gentlemen.
right this way.
whoa, watch the stick there, buddy.
the ministry of justice? the ministry of justice was created in the prolon system to keep the peace amongst the many rival factions.
hmm.
she operates at about 80% efficiency.
well, let's find out what this ministry of justice knows about our princess/goddess, okay? mm-hmm.
where is our goddess, captain? oh, i will bring your goddess to you.
but- please accept our most profound gratitude.
you've captured one of most elusive criminals in the prolon system, captain.
lorina blodgett? lorina blodgett? scam after scam, multiple arrests, warrants from five different systems.
that, and a name like lorina blodgett, no wonder she likes to use aliases.
most recently, she's even paraded herself off as a member of the kingdom of prolon's royal family.
she's absconded with trillions over her career.
why has her apprehension taken so long? as you must know, prolon is a huge system with nearly impossible travel conditions.
one could spend a lifetime never visiting or even knowing of a neighboring planet mere light-seconds away.
what happened to all the money she stole? nobody knows.
our top judge is in intercept route with you now.
good luck, captain.
you haven't gotten rid of those monks? what are you trying to pull? the truth out of you.
you want to cancel our deal? your navigation systems are useless in this swamp.
i'll be back on my cruiser having a milk bath by the time you grope your way out of a trilithium field.
there are other people who can navigate this system, and they don't punish royal impersonators with milk baths.
dylan, we have several ships on an intercept course.
identify.
they call themselves the prolon ministry of justice.
oh this is getting interesting.
we need to make a new deal.
oh, i'm sure we do.
the ministry of justice has no sympathy for we royals.
or, i imagine, goddesses, or whoever else you've been lately.
you know, maybe maybe you were a lawyer once.
now, that would help.
look, the royal family has stolen everything they could from their people.
they've taken so much, they don't even realize it's missing, so i took some of it most of it.
that sounds more like it, and you were on your way to get it when we picked you up.
i was running out of options.
so have you got an offer? let's hear it.
you and me, 50-50.
then we disappear.
[ laughs .]
think about it.
it's a limited-time offer.
the ministry of justice is here.
let them dock.
[ screams .]
her right honorable prolon minister of justice dylan, please, i'm telling you, you don't know how tough this judge is.
yeah, well, not tough enough.
believe me.
there are millions of lives at stake, and you have no idea how many people you've hurt and left alone to suffer.
court is now in session.
lorina blodgett a.
k.
a.
princess of prolon, a.
k.
a.
the goddess hajin na i hereby find you guilty as charged.
in the interest of time, i'll proceed to sentencing.
prepare arms.
prepare arms! i sentence you to death.
oh, it's never easy.
by the power invested in me, in this jurisdiction, ready, aim whoa, whoa, whoa.
you have no jurisdiction to gun people down my jurisdiction is the entire prolon system.
yeah, but this is my ship, and with it, we represent the entire influence of the commonwealth.
by the power invested in me, ready, aim- whoa, whoa, whoa.
you will not proceed with this.
do you represent the accused? if you're going to kill her, then yes, i represent her.
ah.
bailiff.
hup.
we will reconvene in one hour aboard my ship for arguments.
proceedings will begin promptly.
court is now adjourned.
hup! you can't do this.
i am dead meat.
that judge is antique artificial intelligence.
my fate could be decided on bad wiring.
all right, all right, shh, shh.
just calm down, calm, sit, sit, sit, all right? take a deep breath.
there you go.
now tell me where the stash is.
it's on a garbage moon.
just tell me where it is and i'll get you through this trial in one piece.
right, tell you where it is before i march in front of a firing squad.
maybe they could be my last words.
if you don't give me the exact coordinates.
dylan, the monks are requesting an audience with their goddess before the trial.
no.
please.
those monks are going be very surprised when they see you in that princess outfit.
all right, i'll take you to my stash, after i'm declared innocent.
come on, i'm as good as dead.
that money is my only bargaining chip.
now you're asking me to take a roll of the dice.
what am i betting on? me.
no.
hold on.
wait! uh, dylan, i could use your help here.
guys got to go.
will you guys just wait up? this is a holy quest.
for your own safety aboard this ship, you're going to have to stay in the conference room until your goddess wants to speak with you.
this ship is an insignificant toy in comparison to the power and beauty that is our goddess.
well, your goddess certainly is something, but your quest will have to wait.
then you leave us no choice.
the monk ship has fired another volley of radioactive waste.
it's spreading through the conduit on deck eight.
that does it.
your goddess, hajin na, is an impostor.
she has lied to you, and she is awaiting trial for telling similar lies to the royal house.
[ monks screaming .]
what did you say to them? i dylan! sorry.
hey! uh, beka tell me where they are keeping our goddess.
put him down.
you are searching for water while you're drowning in the depth of the sea.
your only love is enlightenment.
love, desire, enlightenment, revenge- these are not emotions simply traps to ensnare your will.
we have long ago learned to overcome our emotions.
but the will to overcome an emotion is merely the will for some other emotion to triumph.
that's going to cost me.
so what now? now i'm going to talk to the king, see if i can get princess tura off the hook.
so as you can see, your princess has been taking you for a ride.
that does appear to be the case.
she will die for this.
wait, wait, wait.
she doesn't need to die.
i can get your money back.
you can use your royal family's influence in the courts to have the case dismissed.
dismissing the case would only create scandal.
but if the ministry of justice finds her guilty of impersonating royalty, that would create a scandal as well, no? no one in prolon system believes in that malfunctioning judge.
so you're just going to let them kill her? she will become a martyr, and perhaps the people will tear apart that judge circuit by circuit.
leaving more power in your hands.
the flawless image of majesty must be maintained, captain.
it is the very foundation of royalty.
in fact, it could be argued that we gain more respect by letting these proceedings go on.
farewell, captain.
all rise for her right honorable minister of justice.
the charge is impersonation and theft.
the accused will now enter into arguments with the prosecutor.
i could be wrong, but i'm guessing he didn't go to law school.
they will argue till they reach a decision.
uh, excuse me, your honor, but princess tura won't last five seconds with that guy.
you have the right to take her place.
i do? uh, i do, yes.
i will.
bailiff the arguments will now begin.
i'm guessing there's not a lot of defense lawyers left in the prolon system.
proceed.
left-handed.
how many times do i have to tell you? it's right-handed.
excuse me.
could you help us settle an argument? it's not my fault.
it's the system's.
i can't believe they're falling for this old gag.
have you forgotten where we are? their memory core is an antique.
huh.
well, the judge's behavior is starting to make some sense.
get busy.
harper, status.
this might take a while, dylan.
don't win that fight too fast.
i'll make a point of it.
so what's taking you so long? the problem is this stuff is so old, it predates you.
it's very funny.
hurry it up.
this isn't hacking.
it's archaeology.
yeah! that was an illegal maneuver, captain.
[ booing .]
oh, come on.
now you have rules? i am ruling against you.
oh, there's a shocker.
by the power invested in me, i order my commission to execute the accused.
prepare arms.
prepare arms! uh, mr.
harper, now would be a really good time.
in the matter of prolon system versus lorina blodgett, a.
k.
a.
princess tura, a.
k.
a.
the goddess hajin na, on the count of impersonating royalty, i find i'm in.
uh, people i find, um, insufficient evidence insufficient cause for this trial to have ever occurred.
for this trial to have ever occurred.
the charge is without merit.
impersonating royalty, pshaw! impersonating royalty, pshaw! royalty is just an illusion we allow ourselves to believe.
um, i declare a mistrial.
court adjourned.
oh, and i sentence the princess to two nights with seamus harper.
i don't think they got that last part.
i hold up my end of the bargain.
now it's your turn.
you confess to those people out there, then you'll take me to the money.
that was our deal.
so, are you going to give me the coordinates to the money? what? there are no coordinates in all this prolon muck.
we navigate by sight, remember? yeah.
it's all up here.
i'll have to fly you there myself.
of course.
you'll do your confession speech, and then you'll take me to the money.
right.
good luck.
dylan? yeah? thank you.
ahem.
your highness, it's almost time.
do the right thing.
your highness out.
everyone.
except you.
i need the veil of repentance.
check your records.
go ahead, check them, and try to access the money that appears to be there.
oh no.
smoke and mirrors, gentlemen.
smoke and mirrors, and now the exonerated princess tura.
she has agreed to take us to the money.
princess tura? uh, princess, i told them that you agreed to take us to the money.
dylan, themaruhas just launched.
uh, so she won't be taking us to the money.
she just went to go get it herself.
she's disappeared from my sensors.
uh, then again, maybe not.
where is our princess, captain hunt? where is our goddess, captain? you know what? she's gone too.
which part did you play in this deception? the captain, i believe.
how convenient you were even in prolon system at this time, captain.
try inconvenient.
that's more like it.
you know what? into the attack formation.
as if we had anything to do with this.
oh, again with the stick.
it's a stupid system.
imposter! you promised that we would see the goddess.
[ screaming .]
all ships are taking up attack formations.
oh, no.
this is going to be messy.
battle stations.
everyone to command.
theandromeda is not returning fire.
fire at will.
repeat, fire at will.
corrosive material is eating through deck 12.
seal the deck and blow the cabin pressure.
that should throw it out into space.
we can't keep playing cleanup forever.
no missiles, tyr.
we've just lost containment on deck eight.
harper, there's a mess coming your way.
whoo-oo! if the radiation doesn't kill you, the smell will.
the forward missile bays just shorted out.
[ whoosh .]
that was a launch.
oh, that's precious.
dylan, what do you think? full engines in the opposite direction, we ride that fireball out of this swamp.
i'll take that as a no.
uh, what are we doing, boss? harper, in machine shop, there's a detonator for a nova bomb.
nova bomb? just the detonator.
starve the fire and blow it out.
five minutes.
you've got two.
ah, the creature in her natural environment no.
he trusted me.
he trusted you to run out on him.
thanks for showing us the loot, though.
i was actually worried he'd fallen for you.
he did fall for me.
the fire is reaching critical mass.
take us into it.
do you see that wall of ships? they'll stand down.
themaruis returning with princess tura.
the ships are standing down.
harper, launch the detonator now.
all systems normal.
themaruhas docked.
on my way.
good work, beka.
thank you.
you're welcome.
i'm sure there's someplace else i should be and i'll just go there now.
sneaky.
hmm.
you weren't rolling the dice on trust.
not when they're loaded.
what could you possibly do to me? i've been exonerated.
you can't send me to jail.
not the usual kind, no.
and so my path was clear.
the prolon system was dying the slow death of poverty.
i stole from the royal family and the prolon order of monks in order to give back to the people.
this is going out to the entire system, right? live.
i'm also recording it in my quarters.
well, the king should be having an interesting day.
what does this mean? enlightenment is not found in spiritual leaders or in meditation.
take care of your followers.
enlightenment will find you.
ah.
anything to be rid of these clowns.
captain hunt and theandromeda ascendant will distribute the wealth evenly among the dying planets as they leave the prolon system.
i would not be making this speech if it weren't for him.
giving away the royal fortune doesn't seem to sit well with your entourage.
our heartfelt thanks to you, captain, but we all must carry on, and if i ever get my chance, i will pay you back for this.
i'll be looking forward to your payment, your highness.
captain, if you follow my ship, we will escort you to the edge of prolon and have you safely on your way.
that was impressive.
i've got to hand it to you, boss.
nice performance.
you out-conned the con artist.
you played the love-struck captain, the zealous defender of her honor, even the betrayed friend, and still, completely fooled her.
i only tricked her.
i didn't fool either one of us.