Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s03e19 Episode Script

1 Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola Sorry, it should work.
I put money on it yesterday.
- Don't worry about it.
- I have cash.
Relax.
It's on me.
- Olivia.
- Douglas.
Maybe it's time we go on a real date.
You mean off the bus? I do.
- I'd like that.
- So would I.
- Then we should.
- Why don't we? I'm pretty sure we are.
- Hey, Mom.
- There she is.
Mommy.
What do you want? Well, first of all, let me just say we love you very much.
Uh-huh.
And in the spirit of that love, we have something very important we need to talk to you about.
So this is how it happens, huh? How what happens? If I'm going to a nursing home, I'm taking your kneecaps with me.
That's not what this is about.
You taking my booze? No.
Well, then, what can I do for you, sweethearts? My girlfriend - The Mexican? - Yes, she happens to be Mexican wants to meet my family.
Oh, that's great.
I've been looking forward to meeting your little señorita.
- Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
- What? Just call her Olivia.
Not "the Mexican," not "señorita.
" So I take the time to speak her language, and this is the gracias I get? Okay, this is a list of all the things I am begging you not to do or say.
"Don't compliment her English or marvel at her olive skin.
" Is this that "woke" crap? No, it's common courtesy crap.
- But it is crap? - No.
Okay, there is no need for you to point out your differences with people.
Then what the hell are we gonna talk about? Good instinct.
Maybe don't talk at all.
- You're ashamed of me.
- No.
- Of course not.
- A little bit.
This girl is really important to Douglas, and we just want to make a good impression.
Speaking of which.
"Olivia is not your friend or your soul sister.
You do not get her struggle.
" You don't know that.
I do, so don't.
Guys, this is not hard.
We can be on our best behavior for one night.
Oh, come on.
It's a Nigerian name.
A little tricky.
Repeat after me: A-bi-sho-la.
Abishola.
First try.
Good for you.
I kept calling her "Assi-Hola.
" I know.
How did she meet Bob? Oh, that's a good story.
He had a heart attack and she was his cardiac nurse.
Ah, cute.
So they fell in love in the hospital? No.
There was a little stalking.
But it was cute.
So, my mom had a stroke.
She's fine.
Abishola took care of her while dating my brother - at the same time.
- You're making this up.
I know.
It's ridiculous.
Now my mom lives with them.
Then, after they got married, her mom moved in, too.
- Abishola's mom? - Yeah.
We call her Mama Ebun.
That name I nailed right away.
So that's everybody? Well, there's also Dele, Abishola's son from her first marriage to Tayo.
And Olu and Tunde might be there, too.
Olu and Tunde? - Abishola's aunt and uncle.
- Do they live with them? Not yet.
Hey, everybody.
- Hey! - Hello.
Hi, I'm Bob, Douglas' brother.
It's nice to finally meet you.
- And you must be Abishola.
- I am.
- You have a lovely smile.
- Thank you.
Douglas said to smile more because my resting face is a bitch.
- That's not exactly what I said.
- All right, out of the way.
I want to meet the gal who stole my little boy's heart.
This is my mom.
- Hello, Mrs.
Wheeler.
- Hi.
I've been instructed not to say anything else.
Olivia, I am Abishola's mother.
Welcome to my home.
Brought some wine.
Wow.
And it's not half empty.
Good for you.
Hi.
I'm Christina, his twin sister.
Hi.
I love those earrings.
Oh, gosh.
Thank you.
Uh, you know what, I got them at this wonderful woman-owned boutique.
We could maybe get some lunch and do a little shopping.
Or not.
I am Tunde.
This is my wife Olu.
We looked at all your Instagram posts, and you are hashtag lovely.
Hashtag thank you.
Hi, I'm Dele, Abishola's son.
Oh, you're the one that wants to become a choreographer, but I hear it's not one of the approved options.
That's me.
Mmm.
This is wonderful.
I've never had Nigerian food before.
Thank you.
I'm glad you like it.
Usually, the jollof has more flavor.
I did what I could with Abishola's barren spice cabinet.
Olivia's been teaching me how to cook.
All I knew how to make was grilled cheese.
Your smoke alarm says you can't make that either.
Hey, I taught you a few things in the kitchen.
Yeah, how to yell at the maid.
I believe it is our job as women to help bring out the best in our men.
You mean housebreak them? - Oh, like a stray dog.
- Woof! Bob used to floss at the table after meals.
- Mm.
- Oh.
And now I do it over the trash, like a gentleman.
Yes, men are rough around the edges until we find the right woman who can sand us down.
Well, I'm gonna be sanding for a while.
Did you know that he only has paper plates that he wipes off and reuses? I really am useless.
He didn't even own a vacuum.
I thought he had rats, but they were just massive dust bunnies.
I'm disgusting.
I mean, seriously, who raised you? I did, señorita! Have some more wine, Mom.
Okay, everything looks good, Mrs.
Johnson.
We recommend you rest for the evening, and we will reevaluate in the morning.
Uh-uh.
I want to leave now.
And I wanted you to leave yesterday.
Excuse me? What she means is although your procedure was minor, it's always better to exercise caution.
I know my body.
I know it, too.
You never close your damn robe.
I want to speak to your supervisor.
You are speaking to her, and I say keep your ass in that bed.
I'm sorry.
She should never have said those things to you.
Even if everything she said was correct.
- What are you doing? - My job.
You cannot speak to the patients like that.
I know.
Sorry.
It's just some stuff going on at home.
Oh.
That makes sense.
Okay.
Are you not even gonna ask? Ask what? I just told you something's going on at home.
Yes, and you seem quite upset about it.
I don't want to pry.
But I want you to pry.
Where are you going? Get in your damn room.
It was so nice to meet Douglas' girlfriend.
She's lovely.
Uh-huh.
And so funny.
Yeah, a real chucklehead.
You did not like her? She didn't like me.
You heard her.
"I had to teach Douglas how to cook.
I had to teach him how to clean.
" - Who do you think that looks bad on? - You.
Exactly.
You are right to be upset, Dottie.
This girl needs to know that a boy's mother comes first, always.
- So I'm not crazy.
- Not at all.
Just bear in mind who is telling you you're not crazy.
What does that mean? That means I drank some schnapps before I came here and thought I was saying that in my head.
What was that? My retirement calendar.
Why? - Don't worry about it.
- Okay.
Unbelievable.
What is new in the ICU? Gloria threw out her retirement calendar.
Because she's not retiring? I don't know.
I don't think she wants to talk about it.
Yes, I want to talk about it.
I can't retire because my idiot husband blew our whole nest egg.
Oh, no.
Was it drugs? Gambling.
Prostitutes? He spent it on our kids.
Mm, that is boring.
My son needed money for a vegan food truck.
In Detroit? Why would he do that? - Yes, that's a terrible investment.
- I know.
Then he just had to pay for my daughter's dream wedding in Hawaii.
And now he's paying the legal bills for her divorce.
Oh, no.
Was it drugs? Gambling.
Prostitutes? No, they just fell out of love.
That is still boring.
What should your husband have done? We are supposed to support our children.
We were supposed to buy an RV and travel around the country.
Your retirement plan was to live in a van? Not a van, an RV.
With a bed, a kitchen, a bathroom.
You drive your bathroom around with you? Like a porta potty on wheels.
If she brakes too hard, she will slosh doo-doo water right into her kitchen.
Just forget it.
Oh She seems really upset.
She's so lucky to have good friends like us to talk to.
Mrs.
Wheeler? Oh, hello.
What a coincidence.
I didn't figure you as a bus rider.
Oh, sure.
I'm all about public transportation.
I like to get in close where you can smell the people.
- Where are you headed? - Nowhere in particular.
I just enjoy seeing Detroit on a rainy, dreary day.
Okay.
Look at you, driving this big beast.
She handles pretty well.
I'm impressed.
I'd be mowing down pedestrians left and right.
There wouldn't be one skateboarder left in Detroit.
I got to tell you, I've never seen Douglas happier.
- And that's all 'cause of you.
- I'm glad.
So that's how you feel, that it's all 'cause of you? Excuse me? Never mind.
Focus on your driving.
You know he's my baby, right? Isn't he a twin? Yes, but he was born last.
He loved me so much the doctors had to pull him out of my hoo-ha kicking and screaming.
You draw quite the picture.
I just want you to know what you're getting into.
He's a good man, but he's also a mama's boy.
For now.
Forever.
You wanted to see us? Yeah.
Sit down.
I want to talk to you about something.
So, what is up? We got any Mexicans working in the warehouse? I believe Hector is Mexican.
Why? Well, remember when Bob started dating Abishola, and I came to you guys about advice on Nigerian stuff? Yes.
That was the first time you ever spoke to us.
Yeah, well, I need to do the same sort of thing, except, you know, Mexican.
What is wrong with you? You're gonna have to be more specific.
What were you thinking getting on her bus? That I love my son.
- She's very upset.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
Give me her number and I'll call and apologize.
No.
You're right.
A call is too impersonal.
I got her bus schedule.
Stay away from her! Do you still want to talk to Hector? Where's the mean nurse? I'm right here.
No, the little one.
She get fired? If you mean Nurse Gloria, she's taking a personal day.
She's dealing with some things at home.
Her husband leaving her? Hope so.
You know nothing about her.
Gloria is the hardest-working nurse here.
And usually very kind.
- If you say so.
- I do say so.
She's my friend.
Then you need to find better friends.
And you need to stop whining and keep your ass in this bed.
I take it back.
You're the mean one.
I already told you that.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, listen, can I circle back with you on Monday? Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Listen, I got to go.
Something's up with my mother.
- Oh, God, what did she do? - Mom's trying to get between me and Olivia and I have to find a way to stop her.
Douglas, first of all, violence is never the answer.
I didn't think it was.
Oh, yeah, sorry, It's just where my mind goes.
Wait, why are you coming to me for relationship advice? You know I'm a mess.
I can't go to Bob.
He's only had two girlfriends and he married both of them.
Well, whereas I've had 22 boyfriends and Mom scared them all away.
It wasn't all Mom.
Do you want my help or not? Sorry.
What do I do? What did you do? I gave up on men and got a cat.
I hate cats.
Come on.
You must have learned something.
Fine.
The mistake I made was wanting Mom's approval.
- I do the same thing.
- See? And you're never gonna get it, because she can find a flaw in anybody.
"Why are you dating him? He's too old.
He's too short.
He just got out of prison for involuntary manslaughter.
" You can't win.
Yeah, but how do I fix this? Douglas, if you love this girl, you have to fight for her.
If I would have done that, Robert wouldn't have killed again because he would have had love in his life.
Wait, the second time wasn't involuntary? No.
And that's on Mom.
Hello.
What are y'all doing here? - Frank let us in.
- Who? - Your husband.
- My husband's name is Lester.
Well, he obviously doesn't know his name because he didn't correct me when I called him Frank.
I made you a pie.
Why? I was told in America, when someone dies, you bring food.
And your dream died, so it seemed like the Christian thing to do.
Thank you.
We are ready to listen, and we will not judge.
Well, we will judge, but we'll keep it to ourselves.
I might have been overreacting.
Yes, but your feelings are valid.
My what are what now? Something Bob always says.
I do not understand it, but it sounds nice.
I just feel like I've been running a marathon.
And now, suddenly, I'm almost done with the race, and the finish line keeps getting pushed back further and further.
Hmm.
Do you have whipped cream for the pie? No.
Mm.
I always thought as soon as my kids are grown and out, then I'll start living my life for me.
Mm.
Maybe ice cream? A la mode? Sorry.
Don-Don't get me wrong.
I love my kids.
But it's been 30 years and I'm still here, living my life for everybody else.
You might be here now, but you will not be here forever.
Mm.
Soon you will drive that portable toilet all across America.
I just hope I'm still healthy enough to enjoy it.
It's good you have a dream.
You got dreams, too.
You gonna be a doctor.
One day.
That's the very stuff dreams are made of, honey.
One day.
- Mm.
- I would like to start a catering business.
- Good for you.
- One day.
Yeah, now you're getting it.
Can I tell you something without you getting angry with me? Of course.
I'm sorry that you have to keep working.
But I would miss you terribly if you left.
Why would that make me angry? It's selfish.
I love it.
Frank, can you run out and get us some Haäagen-Dazs? And I just want you to know I'm my own man.
My mother does not run my life anymore.
Does she know that? What do you mean? Hey, guys.
¿Que pasa? What are you doing? I love you and I don't want to get a cat.
Open the door! Did you just say you love me? I did, because I do.
I r-really do.
And I know it's kind of fast, but I've never met anyone like you.
I know you can hear me.
I love you, too.
You got to let me on.
I pay my taxes! - Drive.
- You sure? Floor it.
Douglas! Douglas! You'll pay for this!