Dog with a Blog (2012) s03e19 Episode Script

Avery, that's so beautiful.
Thank you.
I designed it for tonight's big fashion show.
It's a huge opportunity for me to promote my designs.
And no, you can't put on my dress and play tiny red-headed Avery again, 'cause that was just weird.
Me, play dress-up? Please.
I'm nine.
I'm almost double-digits, Avery.
Drink that in.
I have worked for weeks on this dress.
It is perfect.
When I look at it, I feel a sense of calm.
She has a unibrow! Oh, it's just a piece of lint.
What is this, hon? I didn't order anything.
Maybe it's my new pirate grill.
It's like a regular grill, but the ad really got me when they said you could make ham-barghh-ers.
Oh.
Salami, prosciutto, summer sausage.
It's a deli basket.
But there's no card.
Oh, maybe one of my patients has developed a case of compulsive gift-giving.
I'll cure him slowly.
We should take this basket for a picnic.
I have the afternoon free since my Pilates instructor tried to kill me.
Or maybe I got stuck in the machine.
The point is, I'm not allowed back there.
Has anyone seen my dress? Freddy, Gracie? What are you guys up to? We're playing tennis.
What's tennis, Avery? Oh, no.
No.
No, it can't be.
What has someone done to my dress? No!! With no time to fix her dress before the fashion show, Avery had to withdraw.
So she put all her energy into solving the case of the ruined dress.
Although, if it's a mystery, maybe I should blog like a detective.
Murdered dress lay there like a fog over the Pasadena pier.
Pasadena doesn't have a pier, but that doesn't matter.
It's just another day in the 'dena.
How could someone ruin my beautiful dress? The fabric's faded, there are blue smudges, and someone painted over it.
Things like this aren't supposed to happen in the 'dena.
And why did I just call it the 'dena? That's what happens in the 'dena.
It changes you.
You start calling it the 'dena.
One second, Avery.
Don't worry, kid.
Savannah Snoops, kid detective, star of the book series Savannah Snoops, Kid Detective, is on the case.
Chloe Just a second.
I have to play her in.
Chloe, my dress was really important to me, and someone destroyed it.
This is serious.
I need to figure out who did this.
It's pretty obvious the puppies did it.
Case solved.
No, the puppies were just as surprised as I was when we dug up the dress.
Okay, Savannah's back on the case.
I already got suspects.
Red pony, blue pony.
Green pony, pink pony.
And I also suspect a dolphin, but I can only draw ponies, so the dolphin's gonna walk.
As much as I appreciate your unintentional commentary on the arbitrary nature of our criminal justice system, this is not helping.
Kid, I've solved 47 cases in ten easy-to-read books.
I think I know what I'm doing.
Look, our neighbors, the Wallaces, are having a picnic, too.
He's always copying me, hon.
I got golf clubs, he got golf clubs.
I married a gorgeous, statuesque blonde, he married a gorgeous, statuesque blonde.
- You think she's pretty? - What? I don't notice that sort of stuff.
Is that even a woman? Oh, hi.
Look at them copying us.
We wave and they wave back.
When does it end? We should have another kid and see what they do.
So who's ready for a picnic? Where's our salami? Our salami's gone.
The Wallaces have a salami.
We had our backs to them when we were at the drink cart.
They have gone from copycatting to stealing.
I'm gonna go over there and talk to them.
Hurry.
I'm pre-salivating.
I don't wanna waste it.
Hey, Dean, June.
Wow, that is a nice-looking salami you got there.
We had one just like that.
So maybe you could keep your eyes out for a salami that looks exactly like that one.
Look, we're just over here minding our own business, like normal people do.
We're having another kid.
Your move.
Look out.
The remote's jammed.
Bennett, what are you doing? Just move.
My legs are too scared to move.
Oh, my hamstring.
If this keeps you out of bike shorts this summer, I will never forgive them.
There's a break in the case.
I can draw a dolphin.
All right, Chloe.
You follow that lead as far as it takes you.
If I'm gonna figure out who ruined the dress, I need to think about who had a motive.
And I know who that is.
I know it was you.
You were mad at me, and you hated the dress.
That's why you ruined it.
I would never do that.
Don't you remember the argument we had earlier? No, Avery, I don't remember what I had for breakfast this morning.
My burps taste like pickle.
Could that be a clue? I don't know, but if you wanna solve a mystery, there's your mystery.
Tyler, I don't care about what you had for breakfast, except that it's balanced and nutritious, because it's the most important meal of the day.
That is right, I can accuse and educate at the same time.
This is about when you got angry at me this morning.
You've been spending so much time on that stupid dress, you didn't help me fix my uniform like you promised.
So I did have a pickle for breakfast.
But that doesn't prove I wrecked your dress.
You know what? You're right.
Maybe I just jumped to conclusions.
Just one more thing; this probably isn't even important.
But was this shirt always pink? Yes, and you can't prove otherwise.
Oh, really? What about this selfie on your Buddy Bop page? This is the same shirt, and it was white.
I said that selfies would one day be my downfall.
It's a selfie-fulfilling prophecy.
You put my dress in the washing machine to ruin it.
That's how it got faded.
Then the red from my dress bled onto your white shirt, turning it pink.
If my shirt got washed with your dress, someone else must've done it.
The last time I saw your dress, it was hanging in your closet.
I took a sewing kit off of your dresser to sew up my uniform.
And I did a pretty darn good job.
Oh, that's where the rest of my pickle went.
Wait.
My sewing kit shouldn't have been on my dresser.
I always keep it in my closet.
Keeps me from sleep-sewing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up in a nightgown sewn from towels and toilet paper.
But this might be a clue as to who destroyed my dress.
When I heard my sewing kit was on my dresser, I got suspicious, because it had been in my closet blocking my dress.
Someone who wanted to destroy my dress would've had to move my sewing kit.
I don't see what that has to do with me.
I'm innocent.
Just ask my lawyer.
He's from the law firm of Monkey, Monkey, Monkey and Goat.
Goat just made partner.
He married Monkey's daughter.
Come clean, Stan.
There are bite marks on my sewing kit.
Fine, but I only moved it to get to the swim gear in your closet.
You were too busy to take the puppies to the beach like you promised, so I had to do it myself.
I got stung by a jellyfish.
I peed on my sister.
Avery, you've been so busy with your fashion, you haven't had time for me and my puppies.
I wish your fashion never existed.
And there's your motive.
I need to speak to my lawyer.
Oh, no! Whoever destroyed your dress must've bumped off Robert.
Give up the case, Avery.
How many bodies have to pile up before you say "No more"? Pretending your stuffed monkey is dead will not get you out of this.
I have an alibi.
I was with the puppies all day.
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
Daddy! What are we talking about? Yes, we were with Daddy.
And Uncle Karl.
He taught us words.
"Nefarious," "diabolical," and "show-stopper.
" Wait, Karl was here today? I should've guessed.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
Freddy, you didn't have to pee on Gracie.
It's a myth that it helps jellyfish stings.
Gracie got stung by a jellyfish? Oh, no.
When we went back up to the drink cart, someone must've taken the mortadella.
The Wallaces.
Maybe I can see if they have it.
These are really powerful binoculars.
June's pores are so tiny.
I mean, does she even have skin? Oh, they're getting up.
This is our chance.
You hurt your hamstring, so I'll go over there.
If anything goes wrong, I'll make an eagle sound.
- Cree! - No.
We have to be stealthy.
If I see anything, I'll make an eagle sound.
Craw! And that is what an eagle sounds like.
My brother trained one to attack me.
- Craw! - Cree! - Craw! - Cree! Craw! Cree! All right, Karl.
And that's why we knock.
I know you sneaked over to my house, and destroyed my dress.
Don't try to deny it, because the puppies already sold you out.
Oh, nonsense.
What motive would I have for destroying your dress? You know what? You're absolutely right.
What motive could you possibly have? After all, you love my fashion.
That's true.
The fact that I'm so devoted to it doesn't bother you in the slightest.
You are correct, madam.
If I spent my entire life doing fashion It would be a complete waste of your time.
A frilly, pointless distraction that would keep you from truly noble pursuits.
I wish every last stitch perished in flames! Oopsy-doo.
And there's your motive.
I knew you did it.
No, Avery.
You're my closest friend.
I wish you only the best.
And I would never willingly harm or sabotage you.
Besides, you have no evidence, you swine.
Well, I am gonna find some.
Founding father finger puppets? Sometimes, the founding fingers like to gather and debate the merits of a bicameral legislature.
Thomas Jeffer-thumb is quite the rabble rouser.
Hey.
This is my sketchbook.
Let me guess.
After destroying my dress, you were also gonna destroy my sketches to squelch my love of fashion for good.
Oh, you mean, like the Frankenstein movie where, after destroying the monster, the villagers wanna destroy Dr.
Frankenstein's journal.
Why did I just say that? I'm not helping my case.
But the analogy fits so perfectly.
I'm torn; I'm furious at what you did, yet satisfied that I caught you.
I'm satis-furious.
Avery, I didn't know about the sketchbook.
People leave things here all the time.
Mother left me in here once when I was a child, and I sorta just made it my own.
A red hair.
Chloe? Congratulations.
A breakthrough in the case.
The founding fingers would like to celebrate by doing the wave.
Oh, careful, Dr.
Franklin.
You're old.
Chloe, I found my sketchbook in Karl's shed, and your hair was in it.
I can't believe you would do this.
You knew how much that dress meant to me.
Chloe's making a break for it.
Get her! Get off me, Savannah.
You have the right to remain silent, Chloe.
Avery, help me.
I'm still your sister.
Chloe got away.
But I got this blue eye shadow from her pocket, so she'll be back, if she ever wants her dolls to look dramatic and mysterious again, and she does.
Okay.
Savannah, a detective as brilliant as you are must have a theory as to why Chloe would do this.
Sure, Chloe loves playing dress-up, but you can't pin this one on her.
There's no way she could've done all that damage to the dress on her own.
Wait a minute.
You're right.
I've cracked the case.
Who's the sista who's cracked the case? Avery.
Pak-chika, pak-chika, pak-chika.
That's right, my theme song's funkier.
The summer sausage is gone.
How did they get our summer sausage? We were being so careful before our nap.
We have got to get a look inside their basket and confirm, once and for all, that they have taken our meats.
I can't go back over there.
You can't go over there, but June, who's wearing the same sweater you have at home, can.
Do I look like June? Wow! You really do.
I mean, what does June look like again? Maybe if he only sees me from the back.
Perfect.
Now's your chance.
Go.
June? Yes.
- Ellen? - No.
Hi, Ellen.
What is wrong with you people? It's too late for apologies.
We know what you did, and we are not going to let you get away with it.
Ever hear of something called payback? Well, get ready for a big, steaming slice of it.
Come on, honey.
- Oh, your salami? - Give myself a facial.
My salami.
A loofah.
Think I'll take a shower.
I was feeling bad about stealing Bennett and Ellen's meat all day, but now that I see what they're doing to those delightful Wallaces, they kinda deserve it.
I think we made our point.
Come on, Ellen.
Well, I have solved the murder of the ornamental dress.
Actually, I solved it two hours ago.
Spent the last two hours coming up with the line "murder of the ornamental dress.
Each of you had a motive.
So I was trying to figure out which one of you did it.
But then Chloe said she couldn't have done it on her own, which made me realize, none of you could have.
It was all of you.
It all started with a certain someone who loves playing dress-up.
I realized the weird smudges came from the blue eye shadow Chloe had in her pocket.
This is what Avery gets for coming between a little girl and her dress-up time.
But Tyler hated the dress, too, so he decided he'd ruin it more by washing it.
This is what she gets for not helping me fix my BMX uniform.
And this is what I get for washing reds with whites.
An awesome pink shirt.
Then Karl sent Chloe off to get my sketchbook.
Why do you need the sketchbook? It's from Frankenstein.
I'll explain later.
Ow! My hair.
Don't worry, it can't possibly be of any consequence.
Then he painted over it.
This is what she gets for not listening to my life coaching.
Then you took it to Stan so that he could do his dirty work.
This is what she gets for not spending time with my puppies.
What? Do you expect me to chew it with my teeth like some sort of animal? And now, we commit this desecrated symbol of Avery's hubris to the earth.
Burying forever her pretense to greatness with our blatant act of depravity.
Ditto.
We must make a pact to never speak of this again.
So are we getting ice cream after this dark ritual? And that's how you all did it.
Who proved you all were in cahoots? Avery.
Pak-chika, pak-chika, pak-chika.
I think we have to tell her.
Very well.
Avery, your song is a derivative rip-off.
I mean what happened to the dress.
I did play dress-up with your dress, and those blue smudges were makeup, but Darn it, Avery.
I didn't even want to try on your dress till you told me I couldn't.
I feel so bad.
But I look so good.
I'll just be super careful taking off the dress.
Oh, no.
I got makeup on it.
Oh, man, Avery's gonna be really upset if she sees this.
But I can fix it.
Hey, I can't make it worse.
Well, I made it worse.
So we took it to the one person who we thought could repaint your dress.
Don't worry, I fixed it.
Using Avery's sketchbook as a guide, along with the skill I developed studying art at the Sorbonne online seminar.
I thought you said Karl was a good painter.
Yeah, he did that great painting of Mom and Dad.
Oh, this? I love that painting.
When I saw what they'd done, I knew they had to come clean.
Guys, we owe it to Avery to take this to her, and tell her the truth.
Or we could bury it.
We must make a pact to never speak of this again.
This would be so much cooler if we were all wearing black robes.
We feel terrible about what we did.
We're really sorry, Avery.
We totally blew it.
I'm sorry, too.
But I can't get that "pak-chika, pak-chika" out of my mind.
It makes me wanna strut.
Well, I guess I understand that none of you were trying to hurt me.
It was all just a mistake, followed by a cover-up, and some horribly stupid nonsense.
It's how we do in the 'dena.
So I learned that when you hurt your friends, you should own up to it.
If only Robert were still alive.
Oh, Robert! You're back on your feet! Oh, no, Robert, you're a zombie.
No, you cannot eat my brains.
No, you cannot.
No, you cannot! Honey, I eventually realized it wasn't you, and went back.
The point is, we taught those Wallaces a lesson.
Bennett, the dogs have all the meat.
It wasn't the Wallaces.
Stan must've followed us, and then taken our food.
You know what we have to do.
Apologize to the Wallaces? Or We must make a pact to never speak of this again.
We really should be wearing black robes for this.