Gintama (2005) s03e19 Episode Script
Even if Your Back is Bent, Go Straight Forward
[The summer vacation special "Ryugu Arc.
" You'll see the final episode this week!.]
[Otohime is plotting to turn everyone on Earth into senior citizens.
Will Katsura and Gintoki be able to stop her?!.]
["Even if Your Back is Bent, Go Straight Forward".]
Hey! Look at that! A huge treasure box! Don't tell me Otohime-sama is going to blast Ryugu Palace and the rest of us.
Damn it! Get out of here! Are you all right? Gin-san, the aging gas has spread over here, too! Otohime is trying to turn Ryugu Palace and all her followers into old folks! We've already been turned into old men, so it really doesn't matter.
What an irresponsible thing to say! Who's setting off fireworks at midnight?! Is that Takasugi-san's goons? It's hopeless! I want to see him.
I want to be as beautiful as I was when he first saw me.
And when he finally awakens, I want to welcome him the same way I did before.
That way he won't feel lonely.
How sad, Otohime After so much time has passed have her feelings twisted into something ugly? Youth and beauty aren't what's important.
It's more difficult to walk straight and true if your back is bent to begin with.
As they say It's better if you make your soul beautiful! Well, I guess what you're saying makes sense but I don't understand at all.
You're great, Gintoki.
You said exactly the right thing.
I prefer Mie-chan, too.
What are you guys talking about?! That's all about the Pink Lady! [Note: Pink Lady was a female pop music duo made up of "Mie" and "Kei" from the 1970s.
.]
You're so out of date.
Catch up, dude! Hey, Zura.
Even though you've turned into a worn-out old man can you still run straight? To whom do you think are you talking to? Even though my eyesight is worse, I can still see clearly The right way to go I can see it straight and clear.
I see it too.
Then let's go so we can help rehabilitate a 3,000-year-old woman.
Gin-san, Katsura-san, it's impossible! Your bodies are too It's all over now.
The world will sink into the deep, dark sea.
I'll become the only beautiful person in this whole world.
Cannon Fire! What's going on? Someone is hacking into the main computer.
Fifteen minutes until the system recovers and the Old Age Cannon fires.
Wh [I HAVE ENTRUSTED HOPE TO YOU.
.]
"I have entrusted hope to you"?! Who is this?! Who's doing this? I have entrusted hope to you.
Fire the Anti-aging vaccine to destroy the Aging virus ravaging the world! Please [PLEASE SAVE OTOHIME.
.]
save Otohime [URASHIMA.]
Who is it?! Who's standing in my way?! N-No way Those rebels are still trying to defeat me.
Even when reduced to old men they still fight me?! They're heading towards the cannon! Are they going to stop the Heavenly Old Age Cannon from firing? Ten minutes until the system recovers and the Old Age Cannon fires.
Stupid fools! You're too old and slow to make it! My enemies are in the B-57 area! Capture them immediately! They're too slow! Both the enemies and my soldiers! You bastards! This isn't a picnic! Damn it! I completely miscalculated the situation! I shouldn't have gassed the soldiers! Humph.
Our opponents are old men.
Old men vs.
old men.
Under these conditions, we won't ever lose! Here we go! So fast! They're so quick for their age! Amazing! Who are they?! [4W-Old men!.]
They're pissing me off! They're pretty good, but they're really pissing me off! Eight minutes until the system recovers and the Old Age Cannon fires.
I won't let anybody say old men are ugly anymore! I'll show you an old man's boundless power! Otohime! The Old Age Cannon will fire in seven minutes.
Hold on! That's it! I won't let you go any farther! I-Impossible! Those fanatical old men are racing along the walls! Th-Those old men N-No way This is impossible They're the ones whom you said were ugly.
Why don't you stop them with your own ugly, twisted ways? No matter how many wrinkles they have No matter how far their backs crumple forward Their will is as strong and straight as a sword and will never break.
Stop them if you can! The Old Age Cannon will fire in six minutes.
Gin-san! Gin-san! I did it! Finally, I found it! The last weapon that can save the world! What's that? It's a vaccine! It's a bullet filled with a vaccine that neutralizes the Aging virus Otohime unleashed upon Edo.
If we put this in the gun-port lid of the cannon, and let it fire, everyone will return to normal.
Well done, Shintaro-kun.
I didn't quite get all that, but we stick that up the butt Katsura-san, that's not what I said! This has nothing to do with butts! The Old Age Cannon will fire in 5 minutes and 30 seconds.
There's no time! We have to hurry! Wh-What the heck is this?! The stairway goes on and on! It looks like they've stopped this elevator.
We won't be able to reach the cannon unless we climb up these stairs! The Old Age Cannon will fire in five minutes.
We've only got five minutes! Why are you guys so slow?! Hurry up and get them! It'll be over if they reach the cannon! Over there! Get them! Damn it! Gin-san, Katsura-san, hurry it up! Sh-Sh-Shut up! Now, we've got to climb stairs?! You know, old men hate stairs and the sound of their old wives' teeth grinding! butI love her in my heart more than anybody else! I didn't ask you! And you don't even have a wife! Come on! What are you doing?! That's enough! Get out of the way! You old slow pokes! You you bastards! Hasegawa-san! Kamenashi-san! Don't get all run down, old fellas.
You guys can't even climb stairs like this?! How shameful, you pathetic old farts! Don't slow down, speed walk! All the old men and women of the world are counting on you! Shut up! You're the one who's old! We won't lose against young men! You jerks are holding me back! Unhand me! The Old Age Cannon will fire in four minutes.
Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn't my breakfast ready yet? [Note: Parody of Mitsuko, the typical name for a "daughter-in-law" in TV series.
.]
Wh So strong! Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn't my breakfast ready yet? O-Old granny, you've already had breakfast.
Oh, really? I'm sorry then.
Yes! Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn't my lunch ready yet? I just said you already had breakfast! I see I haven't even had lunch yet So, is breakfast ready yet? I told you that you already had breakfast! I see.
I had breakfast, and haven't had lunch yet, which means Isn't my Tandori Chicken Bourgogne-style pie ready yet? What kind of meal is that? It sounds far too gourmet.
What kind of meal is that? Michuko-san, Michuko-san.
Do you know where my eyepatch is? You're wearing it on your left eye! Michuko-san, Michuko-san, Michuko-san Shut up, already! I'm not Michuko! Hello, Hachibei? Mom is really tired.
I can't get along with Michuko-san anymore.
Don't call up your son! Hello, Hachibei.
Isn't my Tandori Chicken ready yet? Wellyeah, please get it on your way back from work.
Don't ask her son to get Tandori Chicken for you! We won't let you take a single step further! Y-You guys! The Old Age Cannon will fire in three minutes.
The Old Age Cannon will fire in two minutes.
Shinpachi! The cannon will fire in under one minute.
The countdown begins now.
That one.
If we put this vaccine into the butt of the cannon, both it and the aging gas will spread through the world.
I won't let you! I won't let you do it! I won't allow a single person to stand in my way! Otohime! Ten Nine Eight Seven Six Five Four Three Two One Heavenly Old Age Cannon Fire! I win! I win The vaccine Zura, let's aim for the cannon's butt.
I'm not Zura.
I'm Katsura.
Otohime! Watch carefully! This is the real gateball! Huh? Oh? My wrinkles No kidding Wow! We've returned to normal! Gin-san! Katsura-san! Hey! The reason I was defeated is The reason I was defeated is because I underestimated old men like you.
I never thought I'd be defeated by the people I hated and thought were ugly.
We couldn't have done it without that man.
The man who spoke through the computer and told us about the Anti-aging vaccine.
He's probably the same person you've been waiting for all this time, Otohime-san.
He asked us to save you.
You've got to be kidding me.
He's still in deep sleep, frozen inside the deep-freeze capsule And Are you telling me that because he's been in there for such a long time, his consciousness has entered Ryugu's main computer? I don't know.
But one thing I can say for certain is, you've been thinking of him for a long time.
And that man inside there in the darknesshas been thinking of you, too.
Like a pearl that glitters in the deep sea.
guiding you so you'd never get lost.
Dang! It's too heavy! Hey, get more people.
That's enough.
I said that's enough.
Tell all the soldiers that Ryugu Palace will soon be destroyed.
To avoid damaging the city steer the palace towards sea.
Everyone must leave the palace, even the mice.
Of course, those guys, too.
But Princess, what about you? Hurry and leave now! Otohime! I'll never be able to see him again, anyway.
I'm too tired to wait any more hundreds of thousands of years alone.
I've already waited this long.
And not only my body, but also my soul has decayed.
Butbecause of you guys I was able to realize my wrongs at the very end.
Not once, but twice My selfish desires lead to leaving him all alone again.
I thank you.
I can see it now clearly, the light that you carried to me Thank you.
Otohime! Urashima-sama.
In the end, I wasn't able to see you in this world.
But at least, in the deep sea, I hope to sleep next to you That's my only wish.
You fool Why did you wait for him for hundreds of thousands of years? Why do you only remember a few of his words amongst the thousands you've heard? You're absolutely beautiful.
It's because those words weren't describing your appearance but your soul, right? You fell in love with that man's soul, didn't you? Even if you grow to be full of wrinkles or your back hunches over, it won't matter at all.
Even if you get dentures and they get all stained, or you need to wear adult diapers just liveand show him your smile in a face full of wrinkles! Old hag! Everyone, no matter how beautiful, grows wrinkled and dies in the end.
But even if their looks change, there's always some things that never change.
Even if our bodies are destroyed.
No matter how many years pass.
Why me?! We believe there's something that can never be destroyed.
But even if we become wrinkled, we still won't lose to you.
That's because we know what true beauty is.
Good grief.
I thought I gathered up brave warriors to defeat Otohime, but it looks like I drew some wild cards.
What are you guys doing?! Hurry up and get out of here! Are you going to waste Otohime-sama's concern for us? Aren't you guys going to try to save her? It's Otohime-sama's last order! We can't disobey! Humph.
Sorry, but I'm a rebel.
I don't have any obligation to listen to any of Otohime-sama's orders.
Then now we're rebels, too! Yeah! Save Otohime-sama! Oh, hi! Welcome! Damn it! Let me die! A guy like me should just die! Even if I live, there's nothing good that can happen! Hey, hey, just calm down.
I'd assist you in committing seppuku any time.
Please have a seat wherever you like.
I'm sorry about the noise.
Did you get dumped by a woman again? You just never learn, do you? Here, drink this and forget about her.
Mama! I like you, Mama! Please marry me! [Note: In Japan, customers often call female bar owners Mama.
.]
I'm sorry, but I already have someone.
Hmm.
That's news to us.
We'd like to hear more about it.
That's a lie! Don't be a braggart, you old hag! [RYUGU PALACE SNACK HOUSE.]
As a matter of fact, I used to be the queen of a palace.
I was really beautiful back then.
Ryugu Palace, right? The queen of the Ryugu Palace Snack House, right? Then let me ask you, "Otohime-sama.
" How do I get a woman? Well, if you're a real man, don't say anything more, and You're so beautiful.
No, no, brother, that's too stereotypical a line! There's no sense in that at all! This is the second time in my life that I've seen this beautiful woman.
Otohime-sama, you're still absolutely beautiful, just as you were when I last saw you.
[Preview.]
Let me smoke, damn it! Damn.
Before we know it, there'll be no place for us smokers.
I can't stand it anymore.
At this rate, I I ["Within Each Box of Cigarettes, Are One or Two Cigarettes That Smell Like Horse Dung".]
[It's a record-breaking smoking ban! Edo has finally banned smoking.
.]
[Toshiro Hijikata loves to smoke.
He wanders around looking for cigarettes.]
" You'll see the final episode this week!.]
[Otohime is plotting to turn everyone on Earth into senior citizens.
Will Katsura and Gintoki be able to stop her?!.]
["Even if Your Back is Bent, Go Straight Forward".]
Hey! Look at that! A huge treasure box! Don't tell me Otohime-sama is going to blast Ryugu Palace and the rest of us.
Damn it! Get out of here! Are you all right? Gin-san, the aging gas has spread over here, too! Otohime is trying to turn Ryugu Palace and all her followers into old folks! We've already been turned into old men, so it really doesn't matter.
What an irresponsible thing to say! Who's setting off fireworks at midnight?! Is that Takasugi-san's goons? It's hopeless! I want to see him.
I want to be as beautiful as I was when he first saw me.
And when he finally awakens, I want to welcome him the same way I did before.
That way he won't feel lonely.
How sad, Otohime After so much time has passed have her feelings twisted into something ugly? Youth and beauty aren't what's important.
It's more difficult to walk straight and true if your back is bent to begin with.
As they say It's better if you make your soul beautiful! Well, I guess what you're saying makes sense but I don't understand at all.
You're great, Gintoki.
You said exactly the right thing.
I prefer Mie-chan, too.
What are you guys talking about?! That's all about the Pink Lady! [Note: Pink Lady was a female pop music duo made up of "Mie" and "Kei" from the 1970s.
.]
You're so out of date.
Catch up, dude! Hey, Zura.
Even though you've turned into a worn-out old man can you still run straight? To whom do you think are you talking to? Even though my eyesight is worse, I can still see clearly The right way to go I can see it straight and clear.
I see it too.
Then let's go so we can help rehabilitate a 3,000-year-old woman.
Gin-san, Katsura-san, it's impossible! Your bodies are too It's all over now.
The world will sink into the deep, dark sea.
I'll become the only beautiful person in this whole world.
Cannon Fire! What's going on? Someone is hacking into the main computer.
Fifteen minutes until the system recovers and the Old Age Cannon fires.
Wh [I HAVE ENTRUSTED HOPE TO YOU.
.]
"I have entrusted hope to you"?! Who is this?! Who's doing this? I have entrusted hope to you.
Fire the Anti-aging vaccine to destroy the Aging virus ravaging the world! Please [PLEASE SAVE OTOHIME.
.]
save Otohime [URASHIMA.]
Who is it?! Who's standing in my way?! N-No way Those rebels are still trying to defeat me.
Even when reduced to old men they still fight me?! They're heading towards the cannon! Are they going to stop the Heavenly Old Age Cannon from firing? Ten minutes until the system recovers and the Old Age Cannon fires.
Stupid fools! You're too old and slow to make it! My enemies are in the B-57 area! Capture them immediately! They're too slow! Both the enemies and my soldiers! You bastards! This isn't a picnic! Damn it! I completely miscalculated the situation! I shouldn't have gassed the soldiers! Humph.
Our opponents are old men.
Old men vs.
old men.
Under these conditions, we won't ever lose! Here we go! So fast! They're so quick for their age! Amazing! Who are they?! [4W-Old men!.]
They're pissing me off! They're pretty good, but they're really pissing me off! Eight minutes until the system recovers and the Old Age Cannon fires.
I won't let anybody say old men are ugly anymore! I'll show you an old man's boundless power! Otohime! The Old Age Cannon will fire in seven minutes.
Hold on! That's it! I won't let you go any farther! I-Impossible! Those fanatical old men are racing along the walls! Th-Those old men N-No way This is impossible They're the ones whom you said were ugly.
Why don't you stop them with your own ugly, twisted ways? No matter how many wrinkles they have No matter how far their backs crumple forward Their will is as strong and straight as a sword and will never break.
Stop them if you can! The Old Age Cannon will fire in six minutes.
Gin-san! Gin-san! I did it! Finally, I found it! The last weapon that can save the world! What's that? It's a vaccine! It's a bullet filled with a vaccine that neutralizes the Aging virus Otohime unleashed upon Edo.
If we put this in the gun-port lid of the cannon, and let it fire, everyone will return to normal.
Well done, Shintaro-kun.
I didn't quite get all that, but we stick that up the butt Katsura-san, that's not what I said! This has nothing to do with butts! The Old Age Cannon will fire in 5 minutes and 30 seconds.
There's no time! We have to hurry! Wh-What the heck is this?! The stairway goes on and on! It looks like they've stopped this elevator.
We won't be able to reach the cannon unless we climb up these stairs! The Old Age Cannon will fire in five minutes.
We've only got five minutes! Why are you guys so slow?! Hurry up and get them! It'll be over if they reach the cannon! Over there! Get them! Damn it! Gin-san, Katsura-san, hurry it up! Sh-Sh-Shut up! Now, we've got to climb stairs?! You know, old men hate stairs and the sound of their old wives' teeth grinding! butI love her in my heart more than anybody else! I didn't ask you! And you don't even have a wife! Come on! What are you doing?! That's enough! Get out of the way! You old slow pokes! You you bastards! Hasegawa-san! Kamenashi-san! Don't get all run down, old fellas.
You guys can't even climb stairs like this?! How shameful, you pathetic old farts! Don't slow down, speed walk! All the old men and women of the world are counting on you! Shut up! You're the one who's old! We won't lose against young men! You jerks are holding me back! Unhand me! The Old Age Cannon will fire in four minutes.
Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn't my breakfast ready yet? [Note: Parody of Mitsuko, the typical name for a "daughter-in-law" in TV series.
.]
Wh So strong! Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn't my breakfast ready yet? O-Old granny, you've already had breakfast.
Oh, really? I'm sorry then.
Yes! Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn't my lunch ready yet? I just said you already had breakfast! I see I haven't even had lunch yet So, is breakfast ready yet? I told you that you already had breakfast! I see.
I had breakfast, and haven't had lunch yet, which means Isn't my Tandori Chicken Bourgogne-style pie ready yet? What kind of meal is that? It sounds far too gourmet.
What kind of meal is that? Michuko-san, Michuko-san.
Do you know where my eyepatch is? You're wearing it on your left eye! Michuko-san, Michuko-san, Michuko-san Shut up, already! I'm not Michuko! Hello, Hachibei? Mom is really tired.
I can't get along with Michuko-san anymore.
Don't call up your son! Hello, Hachibei.
Isn't my Tandori Chicken ready yet? Wellyeah, please get it on your way back from work.
Don't ask her son to get Tandori Chicken for you! We won't let you take a single step further! Y-You guys! The Old Age Cannon will fire in three minutes.
The Old Age Cannon will fire in two minutes.
Shinpachi! The cannon will fire in under one minute.
The countdown begins now.
That one.
If we put this vaccine into the butt of the cannon, both it and the aging gas will spread through the world.
I won't let you! I won't let you do it! I won't allow a single person to stand in my way! Otohime! Ten Nine Eight Seven Six Five Four Three Two One Heavenly Old Age Cannon Fire! I win! I win The vaccine Zura, let's aim for the cannon's butt.
I'm not Zura.
I'm Katsura.
Otohime! Watch carefully! This is the real gateball! Huh? Oh? My wrinkles No kidding Wow! We've returned to normal! Gin-san! Katsura-san! Hey! The reason I was defeated is The reason I was defeated is because I underestimated old men like you.
I never thought I'd be defeated by the people I hated and thought were ugly.
We couldn't have done it without that man.
The man who spoke through the computer and told us about the Anti-aging vaccine.
He's probably the same person you've been waiting for all this time, Otohime-san.
He asked us to save you.
You've got to be kidding me.
He's still in deep sleep, frozen inside the deep-freeze capsule And Are you telling me that because he's been in there for such a long time, his consciousness has entered Ryugu's main computer? I don't know.
But one thing I can say for certain is, you've been thinking of him for a long time.
And that man inside there in the darknesshas been thinking of you, too.
Like a pearl that glitters in the deep sea.
guiding you so you'd never get lost.
Dang! It's too heavy! Hey, get more people.
That's enough.
I said that's enough.
Tell all the soldiers that Ryugu Palace will soon be destroyed.
To avoid damaging the city steer the palace towards sea.
Everyone must leave the palace, even the mice.
Of course, those guys, too.
But Princess, what about you? Hurry and leave now! Otohime! I'll never be able to see him again, anyway.
I'm too tired to wait any more hundreds of thousands of years alone.
I've already waited this long.
And not only my body, but also my soul has decayed.
Butbecause of you guys I was able to realize my wrongs at the very end.
Not once, but twice My selfish desires lead to leaving him all alone again.
I thank you.
I can see it now clearly, the light that you carried to me Thank you.
Otohime! Urashima-sama.
In the end, I wasn't able to see you in this world.
But at least, in the deep sea, I hope to sleep next to you That's my only wish.
You fool Why did you wait for him for hundreds of thousands of years? Why do you only remember a few of his words amongst the thousands you've heard? You're absolutely beautiful.
It's because those words weren't describing your appearance but your soul, right? You fell in love with that man's soul, didn't you? Even if you grow to be full of wrinkles or your back hunches over, it won't matter at all.
Even if you get dentures and they get all stained, or you need to wear adult diapers just liveand show him your smile in a face full of wrinkles! Old hag! Everyone, no matter how beautiful, grows wrinkled and dies in the end.
But even if their looks change, there's always some things that never change.
Even if our bodies are destroyed.
No matter how many years pass.
Why me?! We believe there's something that can never be destroyed.
But even if we become wrinkled, we still won't lose to you.
That's because we know what true beauty is.
Good grief.
I thought I gathered up brave warriors to defeat Otohime, but it looks like I drew some wild cards.
What are you guys doing?! Hurry up and get out of here! Are you going to waste Otohime-sama's concern for us? Aren't you guys going to try to save her? It's Otohime-sama's last order! We can't disobey! Humph.
Sorry, but I'm a rebel.
I don't have any obligation to listen to any of Otohime-sama's orders.
Then now we're rebels, too! Yeah! Save Otohime-sama! Oh, hi! Welcome! Damn it! Let me die! A guy like me should just die! Even if I live, there's nothing good that can happen! Hey, hey, just calm down.
I'd assist you in committing seppuku any time.
Please have a seat wherever you like.
I'm sorry about the noise.
Did you get dumped by a woman again? You just never learn, do you? Here, drink this and forget about her.
Mama! I like you, Mama! Please marry me! [Note: In Japan, customers often call female bar owners Mama.
.]
I'm sorry, but I already have someone.
Hmm.
That's news to us.
We'd like to hear more about it.
That's a lie! Don't be a braggart, you old hag! [RYUGU PALACE SNACK HOUSE.]
As a matter of fact, I used to be the queen of a palace.
I was really beautiful back then.
Ryugu Palace, right? The queen of the Ryugu Palace Snack House, right? Then let me ask you, "Otohime-sama.
" How do I get a woman? Well, if you're a real man, don't say anything more, and You're so beautiful.
No, no, brother, that's too stereotypical a line! There's no sense in that at all! This is the second time in my life that I've seen this beautiful woman.
Otohime-sama, you're still absolutely beautiful, just as you were when I last saw you.
[Preview.]
Let me smoke, damn it! Damn.
Before we know it, there'll be no place for us smokers.
I can't stand it anymore.
At this rate, I I ["Within Each Box of Cigarettes, Are One or Two Cigarettes That Smell Like Horse Dung".]
[It's a record-breaking smoking ban! Edo has finally banned smoking.
.]
[Toshiro Hijikata loves to smoke.
He wanders around looking for cigarettes.]