I Love Lucy (1951) s03e19 Episode Script
Home Movies
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Ethel, I thought we were going over to the Ricardos' tonight.
ETHEL: We are.
I'm ready.
All right.
Come on.
You'd better take your glasses with you.
What for? I know what Lucy and Ricky look like.
Suppose Ricky wants to show us his home movies again.
He wouldn't dare.
He's been showing them to us every night.
Well, after all, it's his first movie camera and the first pictures he's got of the baby.
Well, count me out.
If I want to see old movies, I can stay home and watch television.
Well, what can we do? I'll tell you what we'll have to do.
Don't let the conversation lag.
Don't even give them a chance to suggest showing the movies.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Now, just remember, here's what you've got to do-- just keep talking and talking and talking and talking.
You know, act normal.
No, no, no, I take that back.
I need you on my team tonight.
Now, get in there and fight and keep those lips moving.
Lucy? Yeah? Aren't the Mertzes coming over tonight? Yeah.
They said they were.
What do you think is holding them up? Gee, I don't know.
They ought to be here any minute.
(doorbell buzzes) There they are.
Oh, good.
I'm glad you came.
Hello.
I wanted to Wasn't this a wonderful day? Hi.
Oh, It sure was.
particularly at this time of year.
Uh-huh.
What were you doing today, Rick? Uh, I I was pretty busy puttering around the apartment.
Then I went over to the drugstore and got an ice cream soda.
An "all around strawberry" soda.
That's a soda with strawberry flavor and strawberry ice cream.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
They sure are.
Uh, I had an idea How are you, Lucy? Fine.
And what's new? Nothing.
I had an idea that maybe Fred, Fred, there's something I've been wanting to ask you.
Well, what is it, Ethel? Uh how are you, Fred? Fine.
How are you? Oh, pretty good.
I don't think either one of you are well.
I had an idea that maybe tonight Oh, look! Lucy's got some delicious new candy.
Want a piece, Fred? Yeah.
Okay, there you are.
I guess I'll have a piece, too.
(chuckles) Ethel, those are just those same old caramels you gave us for Christmas.
I had an idea, like I was saying, you know that what-what maybe you would like to do tonight, and I thought you'd like to see the pictures of I took of the baby.
Oh, honey, Ethel and Fred don't want to see those pictures again.
What are you talking about? They're pictures of their godson.
Oh, Ricky, we'd really love to see them, but it hurts our eyes to look at them on that old wrinkled sheet you use for a screen.
Oh? Outside of that, we'd be delighted to see them.
Oh.
(chuckles) (chuckling) You see? You see? Now, the reason I wanted you to see them again is because I wanted you to see them in this new screen I bought today.
Wait till you see them in that! Go get your glasses, Fred.
I'll watch without them.
You can't see without them.
I know what I'm doing.
I got it all set up just in case you asked to see them again.
Fred, uh, ge-ge-ge-get-get-get rid of your head, will you? What do you want me to do-- take it off? I mean, you know, move it over.
All right, all right.
Turn the lights off, honey.
Yeah.
Here we go! (click) (film projector whirring) (No audio) RICKY: This would have been a good shot if Lucy just didn't argue with me.
(chuckling) Doesn't he look cute? Look at that.
A pretty good close-up.
You know, this one was a great idea but things moving that fast are pretty tough.
Ah, how's that, huh? How's that for a moving shot? Right through the bedroom and into the nursery.
Have you ever seen anything better than that in real movies? Huh? Look at the way that focuses all the way.
You can see them in the mirror in the back.
See the mirror in the back there? This would have been great if I hadn't tripped over the baby's wagon.
This is a great way to get killed-- just take a picture of your wife when she wakes up in the morning.
Ooh! (chuckling) Now, the next ten minutes of film is just as good as anyone has ever taken.
I don't want to brag, but, uh, (voice fading): I think that I learned pretty fast.
(normal voice): And as Lucy holds up little Ricky and waves good-bye, we say a reluctant farewell to the Ricardo apartment and its charming inhabitants.
This is a Ricky Ricardo production! (humming fanfare): Bum bum bum bum bum bum! That's all.
You know, they're very good, considering that those are the first pictures that I Lucy.
More! More! Dear, those were really wonderful.
Don't you think so, Eth? Ethel? Fred? Ew (screaming) Oh! Oh, you What's the matter with you two scaring me to death? We wanted to be sure the coast is clear.
Is Ricky very mad? I'll say.
He wouldn't even talk to me this morning.
We're the ones who sneaked out.
What's he mad at you for? Yeah.
I fell asleep.
Oh, no.
Good morning.
Good morning! Good-bye.
Now, Ricky, wait a minute.
We're sorry.
We really liked your movies.
We want to see them again! Tonight! Don't we, Fred? Yeah! Yeah! My, but you sound sincere.
Well, I mean it.
Oh, sure.
I do! I'm just dying to see those lousy movies again.
Fred, that's a terrible thing to say.
Ricky put a lot of time and effort into those lousy movies-- those movies.
Oh, now, Ricky, they didn't mean that.
Look, you don't have to worry about me.
You don't have to see any of the movies that I take ever again, including the TV pilot film that I'm just about to audition.
Oh, Fred, what's the matter with you? That's a fine thing TV pilot film? What were you saying about a TV pilot film? Nothing that concerns you.
I was going to make one using the three of you as actors, but I have changed my mind about the supporting cast.
Adios, amigos.
Now, wait a minute, Ricky! You have fixed the sheets and blankets.
Now go take a nap.
(door slamming) What did he mean by that? Yeah.
He was trying to say you have made your bed, now lie in it.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, I hope you are satisfied.
Huh? Now what? Remember that TV pilot film Ricky was going to make? Remember it? We've all been nice to him for days, so he'd use us in it.
Yeah, well, we can all go back to being our normal, nasty selves.
He's already made it.
What? And next week the most important man in television, Mr.
Bennett Green is coming over to look at it.
Well, we certainly muffed that one.
What do you mean, "we"? You were the ones who tippy-toed out in the middle of our home movies.
You should talk, sleepytime gal! That's telling her, Ethel.
Now, don't you be smart, Fred.
You're the one who really clinched the whole thing with your diplomatic remark: "Sure, I'm just dying to see those lousy movies again.
" Ah, just a minute.
Oh, really, Fred.
Oh, you two now, stop squabbling.
The main thing is, what can we do about it? Nothing.
We're not in it, so that's that.
Yeah.
As an old Cuban philosopher once said, "We have plugged in the electric blanket.
Now let's take the snooze.
" Well, it's too bad, but it's just one of those things.
FRED: I guess so.
I'm not so sure.
Hey, just a minute.
We forgot Miss Never-say-die.
Lucy, what are you planning? What are you thinking? What's going on? We'll make our own TV film.
Our own? Our own? Yeah, we'll make it just like Ricky did.
We'll use his film, his camera, his lights his wife, and if they play their cards right, his wife's friends.
And then when Mr.
Bennett Green comes over, he'll see a double feature.
What kind of a film will we make? Um a Western drama.
Hey.
That's a wonderful idea.
We'll get a name later.
Right now we have a lot to think about.
We have to get costumes, scenery, have to find out who shoots who Oh, boy! Look at this, Fred.
Isn't this great? This is fixed up great.
LUCY: Yeah? Hey, Lucy! Here we are.
Hi, pard.
(laughing) I can't get over how cute you got the room fixed up.
Well, I worked pretty hard painting those figures.
They look almost real, don't they? Look at that one.
FRED: Well, I've had moments when real people looked like that.
(guffawing) Come on, we got to get started.
We got to get all this finished and out of the way before Ricky gets home.
Okay.
What's that thing? That's a projector.
I know.
It's a new kind.
You put the sound right on the film, like a tape recorder.
Oh.
Fred, now, for the first part, you take the picture.
You look right through this little red thing here, and then you press this button right here, see? See that? Yeah.
Yeah.
You press that down.
What's this little dial here for? It says "8, 16, 32, 64.
" Gee, I don't know.
Well, take a little bit of each number and see what happens.
Okay.
Ready, Ethel? Yep.
Stand back here.
Remember how we did it.
Okay.
Roll 'em.
Lights, camera, action, quiet!! What's that for? I went to a studio in Hollywood once.
That's the way they make pictures.
Oh.
Fred, turn on the phonograph.
(honky-tonk music playing) I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And my legs ain't bowed And my teeth ain't capped I'm a cowboy who never saw a cow Never roped a steer 'cause I don't know how And I sure ain't fixin' to find out now Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-hee! Yee-ha! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And I learned to ride 'Fore I learned to stand I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date I know every road in the Lone Star State 'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8 Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee! Yippee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha I know all the songs that the cowboys know 'Bout that big corral Where the doggies go (howling) (gunshot) 'Cause I learned them all on the radio Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yippee! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha Yee-ha! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha Whee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha.
Yee-ha! You know that looked pretty good? Yeah.
Yeah.
Now we do the big, dramatic part of the show.
Now, Fred, don't forget, you make an entrance from over there.
Well, who's going to run the camera if I'm off the scene? Oh, well, we set that on automatic, see? We-we push this button right here and the camera takes a picture by itself.
I got it.
Okay, now, Ethel, don't forget where we stopped.
Oh, I got it.
All right, here we go.
Roll 'em, Fred! (camera whirring) How about a game of draw poker, Tex? Don't mind if I do, Nevada.
Cigarette? Yep.
Hold it! I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'? Yep, I'm accusin' you of cheatin'.
Smile when you say that.
Yep, I'm accusing you of cheatin'.
No man can say that to me.
Smile when you say that.
No man can say that to me.
Reach for the ceiling, both of ya! Drop them guns! You're under arrest! We ain't got nothin' on us.
You're the ones that robbed the stage, you mangy polecats.
How did you find out? I got wind of it.
All right, I am taking you to the clink.
Get goin'! Pick it up there! LUCY: Cut! Oh, boy, that was good, wasn't it? I say so.
I hope that camera didn't run out of film.
Don't worry Film? Lucy.
Well, that was a good dress rehearsal.
Now I'll put in the film.
Lucy? Oh, the film came! Why didn't you wait for me? Who's got time to wait for you? I got to get this stuff spliced together.
How's it look? Look at this.
Oh, look at Fred in that outfit! LUCY: Look at you in those chaps.
Hey, that mustache looks better on film on you than it did really, didn't it? Yeah.
(guffawing) Oh, boy.
Doesn't that look great? Great.
Ricky! Um wh-what are you doing here? I live here, remember? Uh, I thought you weren't coming home to dinner.
I didn't come home for dinner.
I just came over to pick up my guitar.
What are these pictures? Uh I asked, "What are these pictures?" Would you believe it if I told you they were taken by a sidewalk photographer? No.
No? Well, uh I might as well tell you the truth.
Um, a talent scout called us from Hollywood and-and he came over here with all of his equipment and-and he took pictures of all of us while we were, uh because he Go on.
Go on.
I can't.
I don't even believe it myself.
Well, all right, I'll tell you, Ricky.
We got mad at you because you wouldn't let us be in your TV film, so we made one of our own.
So, you show your film to Mr.
Green and we'll show ours.
Mr.
Green is a very busy man.
He will only have time to see one film.
Well, that's very sweet of you, dear, but when will he see yours? You know what I mean.
You won't show your film to anybody tomorrow night.
Now, just a minute.
We put a lot of time and money into this film.
What are we gonna do with it? Well, just show it to each other while I'm running my boring baby pictures.
Hasta la vista.
(door slamming) (sighs) Well, that's that.
Oh, no, it isn't.
Our picture will be shown and what's more, Ricky will be showing it.
What are you gonna do, switch reels? No.
I'm gonna cut our picture into Ricky's.
I'm gonna figure out a way to use the best parts of both.
Give me Ricky's film in the closet there.
Put this back on here now.
Where is it? Up on the top shelf.
All those reels up there.
Lucy, Ricky and Mr.
Green just got out of the cab.
Yeah, well, everything's all ready.
I just finished.
Here.
Fred, put this on the projection machine right away.
Right.
Oh, I hope it's all right.
I did it in such a hurry.
Here, pick all this stuff up.
RICKY: Here you are, Mr.
Green.
Oh, hi! Hello.
Hello.
Mr.
Green, this is my wife, Lucy.
How do you do, Mr.
Green? Very nice to know you.
This is our neighbors, Mr.
and Mrs.
Mertz.
How do you do? Hi, Mr.
Green.
How are you? Uh, Mr.
Green is very busy, so he just has time to see the film and then he has to leave right away.
You know how demanding television is.
Oh, I certainly do, Mr.
Green.
That's quite all right.
Well, I know that you're looking for some unusual shows and this film is liable to be the biggest surprise of the year.
You can say that again.
Well, uh, won't you sit down, Mr.
Green? Thank you.
Sit right over there, Mr.
Green.
That's it right over there.
RICKY: I'll get everything settled here.
Lucy, would you turn out the light, please? Yeah, I will.
RICKY: Check this back here.
Get set.
Okay, here we go! (click) (film projector whirring) RICKY: The pastry chef at the club made that for me.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
As a change in your television entertainment, tonight we bring you a program of Latin American rhythms, starting with the very popular "Vaya Con Dios.
" (playing romantic ballad intro) Se llego el momento ya de separarnos En silencia el corazon Dice y suspira Vaya con dios, mi vida Vaya con dios, mi amor (honky-tonk music playing) I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And my legs ain't bowed And my teeth ain't capped mi amor Las campanas de la iglesia ya suenan triste Reach for the ceiling, both of ya! (howling) (gunshot) 'Cause I learned them all On the radio Yippee i-o-ki-ay, yippee! Vaya con dios, mi vida Vaya con dios Mi amor Hold it! I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'? ETHEL: Yep, I'm accusin' you of cheatin'.
LUCY: Smile when you say that.
Vaya con dios Mi vida Vaya con dios (speaking backwards): There up it pick! Goin' get! Clink the to you taking am I, right all.
It of wind got I.
Out find you did how? Polecats mangy you, stage the robbed that ones the you're.
Us on nothin' got ain't we.
Arrest under you're! Guns them drop! Ya of both, ceiling the for reach! Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: That say you when smile.
LUCY: Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: Cheatin' of me accusin' you are? Cards them cut didn't I.
It hold! (singing "Vaya Con Dios" backwards) (film running at high speed) (singing rapidly with squeaky, high-pitched voice) I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And I learned to ride 'Fore I learned to stand I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date I know every road in the Lone Star State 'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8 Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee! Yippee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha RICKY: This is a Ricky Ricardo production.
FRED: I got wind of it.
Well, well.
Mr.
Green, I-I-I just don't know what to say.
Don't say anything.
Just let me have it.
It's terrific.
What? The funniest thing I've ever seen.
Such imagination.
Most people would make a straight dull musical show, but you added all those delightful touches of comedy.
You liked it, huh? Oh, Mrs.
Ricardo, you were wonderful! And the, and the Mertzes were just great.
Oh, thank you, thank you! Thank you very much.
Mrs.
Ricardo, you're married to a genius.
Oh.
Yes, I know.
How did you ever think of it, dear? I don't know.
Just came to me.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.
ETHEL: We are.
I'm ready.
All right.
Come on.
You'd better take your glasses with you.
What for? I know what Lucy and Ricky look like.
Suppose Ricky wants to show us his home movies again.
He wouldn't dare.
He's been showing them to us every night.
Well, after all, it's his first movie camera and the first pictures he's got of the baby.
Well, count me out.
If I want to see old movies, I can stay home and watch television.
Well, what can we do? I'll tell you what we'll have to do.
Don't let the conversation lag.
Don't even give them a chance to suggest showing the movies.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Now, just remember, here's what you've got to do-- just keep talking and talking and talking and talking.
You know, act normal.
No, no, no, I take that back.
I need you on my team tonight.
Now, get in there and fight and keep those lips moving.
Lucy? Yeah? Aren't the Mertzes coming over tonight? Yeah.
They said they were.
What do you think is holding them up? Gee, I don't know.
They ought to be here any minute.
(doorbell buzzes) There they are.
Oh, good.
I'm glad you came.
Hello.
I wanted to Wasn't this a wonderful day? Hi.
Oh, It sure was.
particularly at this time of year.
Uh-huh.
What were you doing today, Rick? Uh, I I was pretty busy puttering around the apartment.
Then I went over to the drugstore and got an ice cream soda.
An "all around strawberry" soda.
That's a soda with strawberry flavor and strawberry ice cream.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
They sure are.
Uh, I had an idea How are you, Lucy? Fine.
And what's new? Nothing.
I had an idea that maybe Fred, Fred, there's something I've been wanting to ask you.
Well, what is it, Ethel? Uh how are you, Fred? Fine.
How are you? Oh, pretty good.
I don't think either one of you are well.
I had an idea that maybe tonight Oh, look! Lucy's got some delicious new candy.
Want a piece, Fred? Yeah.
Okay, there you are.
I guess I'll have a piece, too.
(chuckles) Ethel, those are just those same old caramels you gave us for Christmas.
I had an idea, like I was saying, you know that what-what maybe you would like to do tonight, and I thought you'd like to see the pictures of I took of the baby.
Oh, honey, Ethel and Fred don't want to see those pictures again.
What are you talking about? They're pictures of their godson.
Oh, Ricky, we'd really love to see them, but it hurts our eyes to look at them on that old wrinkled sheet you use for a screen.
Oh? Outside of that, we'd be delighted to see them.
Oh.
(chuckles) (chuckling) You see? You see? Now, the reason I wanted you to see them again is because I wanted you to see them in this new screen I bought today.
Wait till you see them in that! Go get your glasses, Fred.
I'll watch without them.
You can't see without them.
I know what I'm doing.
I got it all set up just in case you asked to see them again.
Fred, uh, ge-ge-ge-get-get-get rid of your head, will you? What do you want me to do-- take it off? I mean, you know, move it over.
All right, all right.
Turn the lights off, honey.
Yeah.
Here we go! (click) (film projector whirring) (No audio) RICKY: This would have been a good shot if Lucy just didn't argue with me.
(chuckling) Doesn't he look cute? Look at that.
A pretty good close-up.
You know, this one was a great idea but things moving that fast are pretty tough.
Ah, how's that, huh? How's that for a moving shot? Right through the bedroom and into the nursery.
Have you ever seen anything better than that in real movies? Huh? Look at the way that focuses all the way.
You can see them in the mirror in the back.
See the mirror in the back there? This would have been great if I hadn't tripped over the baby's wagon.
This is a great way to get killed-- just take a picture of your wife when she wakes up in the morning.
Ooh! (chuckling) Now, the next ten minutes of film is just as good as anyone has ever taken.
I don't want to brag, but, uh, (voice fading): I think that I learned pretty fast.
(normal voice): And as Lucy holds up little Ricky and waves good-bye, we say a reluctant farewell to the Ricardo apartment and its charming inhabitants.
This is a Ricky Ricardo production! (humming fanfare): Bum bum bum bum bum bum! That's all.
You know, they're very good, considering that those are the first pictures that I Lucy.
More! More! Dear, those were really wonderful.
Don't you think so, Eth? Ethel? Fred? Ew (screaming) Oh! Oh, you What's the matter with you two scaring me to death? We wanted to be sure the coast is clear.
Is Ricky very mad? I'll say.
He wouldn't even talk to me this morning.
We're the ones who sneaked out.
What's he mad at you for? Yeah.
I fell asleep.
Oh, no.
Good morning.
Good morning! Good-bye.
Now, Ricky, wait a minute.
We're sorry.
We really liked your movies.
We want to see them again! Tonight! Don't we, Fred? Yeah! Yeah! My, but you sound sincere.
Well, I mean it.
Oh, sure.
I do! I'm just dying to see those lousy movies again.
Fred, that's a terrible thing to say.
Ricky put a lot of time and effort into those lousy movies-- those movies.
Oh, now, Ricky, they didn't mean that.
Look, you don't have to worry about me.
You don't have to see any of the movies that I take ever again, including the TV pilot film that I'm just about to audition.
Oh, Fred, what's the matter with you? That's a fine thing TV pilot film? What were you saying about a TV pilot film? Nothing that concerns you.
I was going to make one using the three of you as actors, but I have changed my mind about the supporting cast.
Adios, amigos.
Now, wait a minute, Ricky! You have fixed the sheets and blankets.
Now go take a nap.
(door slamming) What did he mean by that? Yeah.
He was trying to say you have made your bed, now lie in it.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, I hope you are satisfied.
Huh? Now what? Remember that TV pilot film Ricky was going to make? Remember it? We've all been nice to him for days, so he'd use us in it.
Yeah, well, we can all go back to being our normal, nasty selves.
He's already made it.
What? And next week the most important man in television, Mr.
Bennett Green is coming over to look at it.
Well, we certainly muffed that one.
What do you mean, "we"? You were the ones who tippy-toed out in the middle of our home movies.
You should talk, sleepytime gal! That's telling her, Ethel.
Now, don't you be smart, Fred.
You're the one who really clinched the whole thing with your diplomatic remark: "Sure, I'm just dying to see those lousy movies again.
" Ah, just a minute.
Oh, really, Fred.
Oh, you two now, stop squabbling.
The main thing is, what can we do about it? Nothing.
We're not in it, so that's that.
Yeah.
As an old Cuban philosopher once said, "We have plugged in the electric blanket.
Now let's take the snooze.
" Well, it's too bad, but it's just one of those things.
FRED: I guess so.
I'm not so sure.
Hey, just a minute.
We forgot Miss Never-say-die.
Lucy, what are you planning? What are you thinking? What's going on? We'll make our own TV film.
Our own? Our own? Yeah, we'll make it just like Ricky did.
We'll use his film, his camera, his lights his wife, and if they play their cards right, his wife's friends.
And then when Mr.
Bennett Green comes over, he'll see a double feature.
What kind of a film will we make? Um a Western drama.
Hey.
That's a wonderful idea.
We'll get a name later.
Right now we have a lot to think about.
We have to get costumes, scenery, have to find out who shoots who Oh, boy! Look at this, Fred.
Isn't this great? This is fixed up great.
LUCY: Yeah? Hey, Lucy! Here we are.
Hi, pard.
(laughing) I can't get over how cute you got the room fixed up.
Well, I worked pretty hard painting those figures.
They look almost real, don't they? Look at that one.
FRED: Well, I've had moments when real people looked like that.
(guffawing) Come on, we got to get started.
We got to get all this finished and out of the way before Ricky gets home.
Okay.
What's that thing? That's a projector.
I know.
It's a new kind.
You put the sound right on the film, like a tape recorder.
Oh.
Fred, now, for the first part, you take the picture.
You look right through this little red thing here, and then you press this button right here, see? See that? Yeah.
Yeah.
You press that down.
What's this little dial here for? It says "8, 16, 32, 64.
" Gee, I don't know.
Well, take a little bit of each number and see what happens.
Okay.
Ready, Ethel? Yep.
Stand back here.
Remember how we did it.
Okay.
Roll 'em.
Lights, camera, action, quiet!! What's that for? I went to a studio in Hollywood once.
That's the way they make pictures.
Oh.
Fred, turn on the phonograph.
(honky-tonk music playing) I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And my legs ain't bowed And my teeth ain't capped I'm a cowboy who never saw a cow Never roped a steer 'cause I don't know how And I sure ain't fixin' to find out now Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-hee! Yee-ha! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And I learned to ride 'Fore I learned to stand I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date I know every road in the Lone Star State 'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8 Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee! Yippee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha I know all the songs that the cowboys know 'Bout that big corral Where the doggies go (howling) (gunshot) 'Cause I learned them all on the radio Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yippee! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha Yee-ha! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha Whee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha.
Yee-ha! You know that looked pretty good? Yeah.
Yeah.
Now we do the big, dramatic part of the show.
Now, Fred, don't forget, you make an entrance from over there.
Well, who's going to run the camera if I'm off the scene? Oh, well, we set that on automatic, see? We-we push this button right here and the camera takes a picture by itself.
I got it.
Okay, now, Ethel, don't forget where we stopped.
Oh, I got it.
All right, here we go.
Roll 'em, Fred! (camera whirring) How about a game of draw poker, Tex? Don't mind if I do, Nevada.
Cigarette? Yep.
Hold it! I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'? Yep, I'm accusin' you of cheatin'.
Smile when you say that.
Yep, I'm accusing you of cheatin'.
No man can say that to me.
Smile when you say that.
No man can say that to me.
Reach for the ceiling, both of ya! Drop them guns! You're under arrest! We ain't got nothin' on us.
You're the ones that robbed the stage, you mangy polecats.
How did you find out? I got wind of it.
All right, I am taking you to the clink.
Get goin'! Pick it up there! LUCY: Cut! Oh, boy, that was good, wasn't it? I say so.
I hope that camera didn't run out of film.
Don't worry Film? Lucy.
Well, that was a good dress rehearsal.
Now I'll put in the film.
Lucy? Oh, the film came! Why didn't you wait for me? Who's got time to wait for you? I got to get this stuff spliced together.
How's it look? Look at this.
Oh, look at Fred in that outfit! LUCY: Look at you in those chaps.
Hey, that mustache looks better on film on you than it did really, didn't it? Yeah.
(guffawing) Oh, boy.
Doesn't that look great? Great.
Ricky! Um wh-what are you doing here? I live here, remember? Uh, I thought you weren't coming home to dinner.
I didn't come home for dinner.
I just came over to pick up my guitar.
What are these pictures? Uh I asked, "What are these pictures?" Would you believe it if I told you they were taken by a sidewalk photographer? No.
No? Well, uh I might as well tell you the truth.
Um, a talent scout called us from Hollywood and-and he came over here with all of his equipment and-and he took pictures of all of us while we were, uh because he Go on.
Go on.
I can't.
I don't even believe it myself.
Well, all right, I'll tell you, Ricky.
We got mad at you because you wouldn't let us be in your TV film, so we made one of our own.
So, you show your film to Mr.
Green and we'll show ours.
Mr.
Green is a very busy man.
He will only have time to see one film.
Well, that's very sweet of you, dear, but when will he see yours? You know what I mean.
You won't show your film to anybody tomorrow night.
Now, just a minute.
We put a lot of time and money into this film.
What are we gonna do with it? Well, just show it to each other while I'm running my boring baby pictures.
Hasta la vista.
(door slamming) (sighs) Well, that's that.
Oh, no, it isn't.
Our picture will be shown and what's more, Ricky will be showing it.
What are you gonna do, switch reels? No.
I'm gonna cut our picture into Ricky's.
I'm gonna figure out a way to use the best parts of both.
Give me Ricky's film in the closet there.
Put this back on here now.
Where is it? Up on the top shelf.
All those reels up there.
Lucy, Ricky and Mr.
Green just got out of the cab.
Yeah, well, everything's all ready.
I just finished.
Here.
Fred, put this on the projection machine right away.
Right.
Oh, I hope it's all right.
I did it in such a hurry.
Here, pick all this stuff up.
RICKY: Here you are, Mr.
Green.
Oh, hi! Hello.
Hello.
Mr.
Green, this is my wife, Lucy.
How do you do, Mr.
Green? Very nice to know you.
This is our neighbors, Mr.
and Mrs.
Mertz.
How do you do? Hi, Mr.
Green.
How are you? Uh, Mr.
Green is very busy, so he just has time to see the film and then he has to leave right away.
You know how demanding television is.
Oh, I certainly do, Mr.
Green.
That's quite all right.
Well, I know that you're looking for some unusual shows and this film is liable to be the biggest surprise of the year.
You can say that again.
Well, uh, won't you sit down, Mr.
Green? Thank you.
Sit right over there, Mr.
Green.
That's it right over there.
RICKY: I'll get everything settled here.
Lucy, would you turn out the light, please? Yeah, I will.
RICKY: Check this back here.
Get set.
Okay, here we go! (click) (film projector whirring) RICKY: The pastry chef at the club made that for me.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
As a change in your television entertainment, tonight we bring you a program of Latin American rhythms, starting with the very popular "Vaya Con Dios.
" (playing romantic ballad intro) Se llego el momento ya de separarnos En silencia el corazon Dice y suspira Vaya con dios, mi vida Vaya con dios, mi amor (honky-tonk music playing) I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And my legs ain't bowed And my teeth ain't capped mi amor Las campanas de la iglesia ya suenan triste Reach for the ceiling, both of ya! (howling) (gunshot) 'Cause I learned them all On the radio Yippee i-o-ki-ay, yippee! Vaya con dios, mi vida Vaya con dios Mi amor Hold it! I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'? ETHEL: Yep, I'm accusin' you of cheatin'.
LUCY: Smile when you say that.
Vaya con dios Mi vida Vaya con dios (speaking backwards): There up it pick! Goin' get! Clink the to you taking am I, right all.
It of wind got I.
Out find you did how? Polecats mangy you, stage the robbed that ones the you're.
Us on nothin' got ain't we.
Arrest under you're! Guns them drop! Ya of both, ceiling the for reach! Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: That say you when smile.
LUCY: Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: Cheatin' of me accusin' you are? Cards them cut didn't I.
It hold! (singing "Vaya Con Dios" backwards) (film running at high speed) (singing rapidly with squeaky, high-pitched voice) I'm an old cowhand From the Rio Grande And I learned to ride 'Fore I learned to stand I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date I know every road in the Lone Star State 'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8 Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee i-o-ki-ay Yee-ha! Yippee! Yippee! Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha RICKY: This is a Ricky Ricardo production.
FRED: I got wind of it.
Well, well.
Mr.
Green, I-I-I just don't know what to say.
Don't say anything.
Just let me have it.
It's terrific.
What? The funniest thing I've ever seen.
Such imagination.
Most people would make a straight dull musical show, but you added all those delightful touches of comedy.
You liked it, huh? Oh, Mrs.
Ricardo, you were wonderful! And the, and the Mertzes were just great.
Oh, thank you, thank you! Thank you very much.
Mrs.
Ricardo, you're married to a genius.
Oh.
Yes, I know.
How did you ever think of it, dear? I don't know.
Just came to me.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.