Scorpion (2014) s03e19 Episode Script
Monkey See, Monkey Poo
1 I still don't get why we're here.
We've been over this, Doc.
Last week, you had to tell me I had made a friend.
Let me repeat that: I didn't know I had a friend.
Got me thinking, maybe I'm a little closed, and that's not the best way for us to start our new life together.
If our marriage is gonna work, I need to be able to express myself better.
Understood, but I am a world-class behaviorist.
If you want premarital counseling, I could No.
We need a third party.
Okay.
All right.
We see a therapist.
But does it have to be him? I'm just tickled you thought of me.
Dr.
Cecil is the man for the job.
He helped you and Walt harmonize last year.
He picked up on the fact we were secretly dating, put it out there so that the team could deal.
If it wasn't for him, we might not even be getting married, so suck it up and let's do this.
Man's a doctor like Crunch is a captain.
His Alma matter has "dot com" in the name.
Tobias, what matters here is not matriculation.
What matters here is ramification, i.
e.
the outcome.
Yes.
But all that comes out of your mouth is B.
S.
That's your inner child talking, and he's rude.
Now you both filled out my pre-session questionnaire.
Though Tobias's seemed to be mostly creative suggestions for where I could shove my paperwork.
Miss Quinn, on the other hand, took my assignment seriously.
Seems your challenging childhood may have left you a little, uh "emotionally stingy.
" She's not stingy with her emotions.
She is particular as to when she shares them.
Happy, are you, uh, untrusting? No.
She's discerning.
Quick to anger? She's fiery.
She's my spicy Asian noodle.
The, uh, problem here is crystal clear.
Wow, you're seriously gonna try to identify Happy's pathology from a two-page questionnaire? Tobias, it's not Miss Quinn's pathology I'm identifying.
It's yours.
Mine? Sweet.
Your fault.
You refuse to see any of Miss Quinn's flaws.
You put her on a pedestal.
He's right.
You do.
You think I'm really great.
And that's bad? Happy can't open up, bare her soul, if she feels she won't be given an honest assessment of her true self.
Why share her intimate thoughts and feelings if all she gets back from you is surface-level pabulum? I am honest with her.
I honestly think she's wonderful.
Let's test that hypothesis.
What's that? I call it the Bicker Clicker.
Patent pending.
How does it work? Every time you say or do something that should cause you two to bicker, he hits the clicker.
It keeps count.
We get back together, review the numbers, see where we are.
We're gonna be at zero, because everything she does delights me.
Let me ask you something, how do you feel about Happy dragging you here to see me? "Timothy Armstrong Commemorative Greenhouse"? Thought I'd name my new hydroponic greenhouse in honor of Tim.
This being his old office and all.
I got one.
Huh.
(door opens) And I think you're being overly critical.
I'm not being critical.
Just think that Dr.
Rizzuto should live on a pond and we should throw bread at him, 'cause he's a quack.
Oh, look! They're doing something distracting.
Let's us see what that is.
I'm about to test my Sandwich Plane-Tiling Hypothesis! I can't miss this.
All my life, I have been trying to solve "square bread versus round tomato.
" How to get total bread coverage without overlapping the tomato slices, which has been impossible because circles on a square in the Euclidean plane have a maximum packing density of .
9069.
So, the solution was to think outside of the box by growing my tomatoes inside a box.
Think you have too much time on your hands now that the election's over.
Quiet.
This is important.
Says the inventor of the world's stupidest hot dog.
Wow.
Everything is stupid to you today.
Hot dogs, going to Dr.
Rizzuto There's still some small gaps here.
WALTER: Yeah, the round edges are a problem.
Maybe you should try to cover the bread with one big tomato slice.
Yes.
Beef up the nutrient slurry in the hydroponics, and make version 2.
0 a super-tomato.
I need measurements.
(door opens) (door closes) Let me just show you on the computer? Fine.
Go ahead.
I just think it's unnecessary.
What's going on? Oh, Ralph wants to change his look, go to a salon, get a real haircut.
Real haircuts happen in barber shops, not salons.
Where does he get his hair cut now? Oh, I do it.
I just put the blue bowl over his head and trim.
I wash it afterwards.
What's this? I created a program which allows me to digitally try out new hairstyles.
Cool.
Let me see this! How about this one? You look like every hockey player in 1992.
Absolutely not.
Oh, try this.
Flock of Seagulls.
WALTER: It's an odd style, yes, but it doesn't look like a single bird, much less a large number of them.
I don't get it either.
Don't worry, Ralph.
You're too young and he's too Walter.
Give me this.
Thank you.
Let me see Oops.
Oh.
Evil genius.
What's the matter with you? Don't like turning Ralph into digital Wooly Willy? No, it's just Ralph never cared about his hair or what he wore or anything like that before.
He starts conforming, he's not gonna be his true self anymore.
I guess I just don't want my sweet little genius to be corrupted by the outside world.
Look, Mom, I have Walter's hair.
And Happy.
And "The Toby.
" Wow.
Nobody looks good in that hat.
(clicks) For insulting the hat? The hat and I are one.
Look, I'm Cabe.
CABE: Looking good, kid.
(phone ringing) Agent Gallo.
Did you see how he checked that caller ID? He was hoping it was Allie.
Cabe and Allie broke up on the same day as you and Tim; you're fine.
I knew that relationship was ending.
Cabe and Allie just got started.
He's taking it hard.
I carpooled with him this morning.
All we listened to was Patsy Cline's "Crazy" on repeat.
Who's Patsy Cline? Oh, she was the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls.
CABE: All right, listen up! We've got a case.
The client's gonna be here in ten minutes.
This is good.
Give Cabe something to take his mind off of Allie.
How do you know about that? There's more gossip in this place than a high school.
At least, I assume so.
I take college classes.
Part-time.
You're still in the sixth grade and your carpool will be here any minute.
Go get ready.
CABE: This is Dr.
Isabella Silva of the World Health Organization.
Give her your full attention.
What do you know about Marari? It's a virus spreading through the Amazon rainforest region of South America and thousands are infected.
SILVA: Yes, and the mathematical models show that the number of dead could quintuple by the end of next week.
SYLVESTER: The differential equations they're using are sound-- this is bad.
And some of those infected will get onto airplanes and before you know it Pandemic.
Marari is a muy bad way to give up the ghost.
It starts with fever and it heads south quickly.
If you're lucky, delirium sets in so you don't notice so much while your insides liquefy.
What is the cure? There isn't one.
That's where we come in.
Your government told us about the DNA device you developed to match genetic samples in the field.
Yes.
We used it to identify a war criminal in Cuba.
Can you use it to run a more in-depth analysis? Elaborate.
Marari started in primates; it's killed thousands of them.
But we've identified a rare endangered monkey species called the Humboldt Capuchin whose show no ill effects from the virus; we believe it is immune.
You want us to identify and isolate the gene responsible for that immunity so that a cure can be created? WALTER: It's just additional calculations.
It's quite basic, really; at least it is for me.
I can code it into our device's software.
HAPPY: It does no good if we can't get our hands on one of those rare monkeys.
Actually a trapper managed to catch one deep in the jungle last night.
They're trucking it to a remote airfield in the small Amazonian rainforest country of Rhondon as we speak.
We need to hustle down there, and test this monkey for the Marari virus before it spreads any more.
If you can confirm this monkey is the linchpin, the W.
H.
O.
scientists can create a vaccine.
Okay.
We'll grab our gear.
Uh, quick sidebar.
There is a reason explorers call the Amazon "The Green Hell.
" It is an unforgiving place filled with the most deadly creatures on earth.
Everything there wants to bite, sting, slash, crush, poison, infect or otherwise murder you.
(Sylvester inhales) But I can handle that.
I mean, you guys made me catch a snake a few weeks back in the desert and I did that.
You saved my life.
So what's the problem? Monkey.
I have a legitimate phobia of the primate we call Macaca fascicularis.
Your phobia is a load of Macaca.
I am terrified of monkeys.
I nearly blew everything in Djbouti last year because of one of those furry vine swingers.
I can't go.
I'm gonna freak out and put the entire mission at risk.
HAPPY: Well, you are in luck, ya big baby, because we actually need you here.
Explain.
HAPPY: I'm not sure if I can soup up the DNA scanner hardware to do that much heavy lifting.
The garage's computer power would work better.
So we get a sample from the monkey, upload the data, Sly runs the test to see if there are any anti-viral proteins that could be making the monkey immune.
What might take hours in the jungle could be done here in seconds.
Thank you, Happy, for saving me from unwanted monkey business.
Chicken.
Scared of those, too.
Okay, Sly stays.
Rest of us, time's wasting, lives are on the line-- let's go.
E.
T.
A.
on the truck carrying the monkey is any minute.
Let's get set up to run the test.
I noticed a lot of bare patches in the jungle when we were flying in.
I thought the Amazon was lush.
Illegal logging.
A total area the size of Germany has been decimated over the last 40 years.
WALTER: The world's losing over 100 animal, plant and insect species per day.
TOBY: And with them goes potential disease cures.
A quarter of western pharmaceuticals have sources in the rainforest, and only one percent of the plants here have been tested.
That means minute, every day, we could be losing the cure for cancer who knows? WALTER: Not to mention, over 20% of the world's oxygen comes from the rainforest.
And the more of this we lose, the less O2 and the more CO2 we get.
Who's cutting down all the trees? Here in Rhondon, it's mostly a multinational logging company.
CABE: Rainforest hardwood gets big bucks in the international market.
SILVA: Locals have been fighting back, moving into and occupying the work camps while the loggers are out cutting trees.
The corporation has started hiring armed mercenaries.
I was reading up on the Amazon on the flight in.
The local sloths have lost 90% of their habitat due to logging.
Poor little guys.
You know they mate for life? Which means there's gonna be a lot of 'em left alone, hanging upside down, all by themselves, waiting to die Listening to Patsy Cline.
(vehicle approaching) (horn honks twice) They ambushed us! Who, Thiago? Loggers' hired thugs.
They shot our trapper! HAPPY: Oh, man.
That the guy who caught the monkey? He also caught a round to the torso! Gunshot wound.
Mid-clavicular line, left fifth intercostal space.
What does that mean? Means if we don't get him to a hospital, he's dead.
SILVA: I'll take him on the helicopter, send it back for you ASAP.
(groaning) Where'd the monkey go? I was off road, trying to get away, and the cage got smashed open.
He escaped? We have to find it.
How are we supposed to do that? She's right.
It's one monkey in a vast and hostile jungle, and the only person with a clue how to trap and track it has been shot.
Well, you're the genius.
Just figure something out before that thing gets too far away, because if you don't, the Marari virus is gonna spread, and people are gonna die.
Uh, not good.
(clicks) You say "not good" a lot.
Scorpion 3x19 Monkey See, Monkey Poo How do we find a monkey needle in a jungle haystack? Search area widens every second that banana-muncher is running free.
Well, it's not just the area, it's what's in it.
Birds of prey, boas, big cats-- they all have a taste for monkey.
And people.
Just saying.
I have an idea.
Sly, are you there? Standing by, Walter.
Search for a satellite with eyes on the Amazon, something infrared.
CABE: Recent Homeland brief mentions ongoing DEA surveillance in South America.
They should have heat vision.
Found it! Redirecting.
WALTER: The trapper recorded the monkey's vitals, so we're looking for something 18 inches in length, a mass of two pounds, and body temperature of 105 degrees.
Filtering the satellite's thermal imaging sensor for those variables.
Where did the monkey get out? Half a mile from here.
Searching from your current position, fanning out half a mile.
Two hits.
Sending the coordinates to your phones.
One is to your northeast, the other to your southeast in a big, clear-cut area.
What's the clear-cut area southeast of here? Loggers' camp, but they shoot first, ask questions later.
Happy, Doc and I'll check out the camp.
I'm coming with you.
Hold on.
How old are you? 20, but I know the jungle.
Please.
My people are dying.
I can't stand by and do nothing.
You'll go with Paige and me.
We'll check out the other area, okay? Let's go.
Sly, the heat signature we're tracking isn't moving.
- Is the signal frozen? - I told you already.
I've checked it repeatedly.
He hasn't moved.
Maybe he's a tired monkey.
(Sylvester screams) (whimpering, yelling) (groans) Why did you just scream? Caterpillar! If you're checking on your tomatoes instead of monitoring this monkey I'm looking at the image now.
Ooh, what a shock.
He hasn't moved.
I'm giving you accurate information.
Why don't you check for yourself? You're practically on top of the thing.
What's wrong with your hand? A caterpillar bit me, and now, it's rashing up.
It's in a cup in my greenhouse.
Do you think you could get it so we could check the bioproteins in its saliva? I think I'm terribly allergic.
(sighs) WALTER: Well, there's no sign of the primate anywh Oh.
There's the thermal imaging source.
Where? Up that tree, under the wasps' nest, but Oh.
It's not a monkey.
(wasps buzzing) THIAGO: It's camera trap.
An environmental group donated many to my village to disperse through the jungle to watch for illegal loggers.
The heat we picked up is from its battery, so we just wasted our time.
Maybe, but we didn't.
Got our eyes on a monkey.
He's in a loggers' camp.
Went into a tent.
We've got it cornered if we can get to it.
I don't see any loggers.
Probably out logging.
They do that.
Shh.
Look.
HAPPY (whispering): They left a guard.
You think you can nail him in the leg or something? Fire fight is just gonna scare the monkey, or attract more bad guys.
(wasps buzzing) I know how to get past him.
What are you thinking? A wasp bomb.
Sorry I asked.
The tree moss is damp enough to create plenty of smoke.
Smoke makes wasps docile, so, then we cut down the nest, carry it to the loggers' camp.
Carry it? With what? Uh those.
Those branches on the ground.
Pick 'em up.
And then, we'll also need some small vines.
Be careful, Walter.
Bugs are dangerous.
(twig snaps) Ralph, have you looked up the larva online yet? What are you doing? The caterpillar! It's loose.
No.
I need to know what species bit me! I'm red, irritated.
I could've ingested a toxin! Why don't you ingest an ice tea and calm down? Just find it! CABE: Oh, geez.
Monkey still in the tent? Yup.
You okay? Nervous.
I've seen what those wasps can do.
Please don't drop that nest.
Okay, when he comes around again, I will fling the wasp nest You're gonna fling it? Hey.
How about the one with the, uh, high school letter in lacrosse? You? (sarcastically): No.
Toby.
I know the letters in the word "lacrosse.
" Quiet.
Toss it just behind him.
He'll think the nest fell from the tree.
(loud buzzing) (mutters) Okay, you and Thiago-- you stay back and look out in case the guards come back.
(monkey chattering) Approach slowly.
(chattering) Easy, monkey.
We just want to perform some scientific tests on you.
(chattering) CABE: Okay.
I think I got an angle on him.
Now! (monkey screeching) CABE: Uh WALTER: Get the thing! Get it! Get it! (screeching) He's over there! (screeching) WALTER: Whoa, whoa, whoa, that way, grab him! TOBY: Careful.
Ah, ah I got you, little Come on, let's go.
Easy Whoa! (groans) Toby! Aah.
I slipped in something.
Aah, it came from the monkey's butt! (shrieks) Oh, God.
Get it off of me! (shrieking) Got it! (whimpering) Get it, get it (shrieks) (Toby groans) (screeching) Aah, it's getting away! (monkey continues screeching) That way! In retrospect, the rucksack might have been a bad idea.
(sighs) (screeching) (chittering) WALTER: Watch out! Watch out! You okay? Okay? Oh, there! Over there! (chattering) How are we gonna get him down? If we can't catch him in an enclosed tent, how do we climb up there and nab him? Uh, we need all hands on deck.
Toby, Happy, you coming? HAPPY: On our way! I probably have a concussion.
Stop being a baby.
(clicks) What the hell? (clicks) I'm gonna take that clicker and shove it up your (clicking) There's a lot more where those came from.
We showed her.
According to my research, the Humboldt Capuchin has a mating ritual where they rub themselves with the flower of the muira puama.
Perhaps you can entice him to bond.
Where do we find muira puama? They're everywhere out here.
We just passed some a ways back.
Few meters high, covered in small white flowers.
Toby, Happy, did you hear that? Way ahead of you, boss.
PAIGE: Thiago, what's wrong? Are you okay? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's just hot.
TOBY: Okay! I got the flowers! What's wrong? The kid's got the virus.
Oh, yikes.
He doesn't look good.
Yikes? That's your medical opinion? No.
My medical opinion is that Thiago's done for if we can't synthesize a cure for him from that monkey.
How did you miss that he was sick? He's been sweating! We've been hiking through the Amazon, Cabe.
We're all sweating.
Have we been exposed? Uh, virus is only contagious before symptoms present.
We could have missed the window, or we could infected now.
It's too soon to tell.
(monkey screeches, chatters) Let's get the little bastard out of the tree already.
Okay.
Uh, well, someone just has to rub these flowers all over themselves and attract the little scamp down here.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on.
I already tangled with Furious George in the tent.
You touched the flowers.
If more than one of us smell like muira puama, it'll get confused.
Besides, he could easily be attracted to you.
I'm not sure if that was an insult.
I found an anthropological paper online describing their mating rituals.
I'm sending it to you now.
Got it.
Okay, uh, Toby, squat down and hop in a circle.
Mm-hmm.
Stick your butt out more.
You got to present yourself.
Oh I am going to die.
My milkshake brings all the monkeys to the yard.
(chittering) You got its attention.
PAIGE: Good, now raise your eyebrows.
More.
Big eyes.
Look, it's working.
(screeches) Oh, he's sweet.
I'm gonna call you Simian Freud.
I-I didn't say anything.
I know what you're thinking.
So what do we do, draw blood? No, no.
You know what, a cheek swab'll work just as well and it won't hurt him.
Hey, Simian, we're gonna do a little monkey see, monkey do.
Now, I'm gonna open my maw real wide and you do the same.
You ready? Sly, coming your way.
Got it.
Running the tests now.
We have a problem.
Wow, this virus is moving through Thiago like jerky through Cabe.
SYLVESTER: Unfortunately, the data I just ran won't do him any good.
Why not? Because the DNA analysis is complete.
And the monkey is not the cure.
What do you mean the monkey isn't the cure? Are you sure, Sly? Uploading the results to you now.
Well, he's right.
There's nothing here that denotes any type of atypical viral protection.
But the monkeys are immune to the virus.
How's that possible if Toby can't find anything in its DNA? Uh, could be a parasite.
Then let's cut it open and see what's in there.
You keep your hands off my monkey.
WALTER: Agreed.
Dissecting the monkey would be an inefficient use of resources.
We only have one.
Holy poop.
I have a solution.
Monkey turds.
I need to know his diet.
- We check its stool.
- If you're gonna make that monkey poo the same way you made it open its mouth I'm out of here.
No, no, no, I got a better way.
We dig through this.
I stepped in its caca in the tent.
What's Toby talking about? A pile of crap.
Isn't he always? Have you found the caterpillar yet? No.
But he can't hide forever.
Sly, the world's grossest scavenger hunt turned up zero critters, but I did find some odd-looking seeds, and I'm sending you a photo now.
Here's your pen.
You can keep it.
SYLVESTER: I think I got something.
Those seeds belong to the fruit of the Von Von tree.
The Von Von tree grows to heights above the Amazon canopy, into the emergent rainforest layer.
It's endangered by the logging industry.
Not a lot of them left, guys.
Von Von tree.
Got it.
These monkeys eat the Von Von fruit.
They're the only thing that does.
Taste is terrible.
TOBY: The fruit could contain biological properties that protect the monkey.
There's only one way to find out.
We mash the seed, a little alcohol to break down the cell walls, voilà -- the sequencer should read it.
Got it, running the test.
Thiago's burning up.
I don't think he's gonna last much longer.
We might have something.
Sending.
There's a zinc finger in the seed's protein that resembles antiviral chemical structures.
This could be it.
Thiago Hey, Thiago.
Where can we find a Von Von tree? O macaco nao é um macaco.
His fever's progressed to delirium.
He can't help us.
We have to hurry.
Now, if we've contracted the virus, we can't risk going down before we find the fruit.
If we die, countless die.
HAPPY: Uh, how do we locate one rare tree in the middle of the rainforest? We find out from the tree experts: the loggers.
Big risk to just go up to them.
They shoot first, remember? Especially after they found their tent destroyed by Toby.
There was a monkey in a bag over my head.
HAPPY: They're from big corporations-- there's got to be a digital database.
CABE: So Sly can hack in there, go check their maps, gets the tree GPS coordinates.
That's a no-go.
I'm trying as we speak, and the loggers aren't uplinked.
When we were using our tech to track the computer at their camp I noticed a very weak WIN signal.
What's a WIN? Wireless intranet.
Private network.
Probably connects their logging machinery.
You can hack that? If I have a strong enough signal.
They're working deep in the jungle, need a high spot above the trees.
PAIGE: You mean like there? CABE: Amazon book I was reading on the plane was talking about zoologist expeditions that used these platforms to study wildlife in the canopy.
It's a perfect place to set up an antenna.
First we have to build one.
Ralph and I used to get TV with homemade coat hanger rabbit ears.
Metal blade of the machete and a coil of wire from my bag will get their signal.
If we can get it up there.
If you can get it up there.
And how am I supposed to do that? Now, we'll chop down some vines and then tie them into a rope.
And I can make a grappling hook from your backpack frame.
Nobody can throw a grappling hook up that high.
Especially weighed down by heavy vines.
We're not gonna throw it, we're gonna launch it.
Now, Sly, can you see if you can find us another camera trap? On it.
Paige, Toby-- stay with Thiago.
Happy, Cabe, we'll also need a small hollow log.
For what? I'll explain later.
Let's go.
Found a camera trap near you, Walter.
Sending you the coordinates.
Hurry up and find that worm.
It's tiny.
This place is huge.
Look faster.
He's burning up.
We got to get soursop.
What's that? Mother Nature's fever medicine.
Um, grab a lighter from my bag and get a fire going.
I got the camera trap and the hollow log.
WALTER: That'll do.
You just found us our mortar tube, Cabe.
(panting): All right.
How we gonna fire this without gunpowder? Overload the camera's lithium ion battery.
It'll give us the explosion that we need.
Now, Cabe, tie the vines to the grappling hook while Happy preps the battery.
Now, without instruments to accurately measure this angle, I'll have to eyeball it.
But I think we should be able to hit our mark.
Done.
Grappling hook ready.
Done.
Thermal runaway process started.
Okay, Happy, drop the battery down the hollow log.
Cabe, stick the hook in the top.
Yep.
Hey, how long before it goes boom? Unknown.
Could be milliseconds or it could be (hook clangs against metal) now.
Did it make it? HAPPY: Okay, hook is secure.
Time for exercise, Cabe.
Studies have found it's good for depression.
All right.
(grunts) All right, that's a good fire.
Here.
Now we just need to crush 'em, boil it and get Uncle Toby's homemade jungle juice into this fella.
(grunting) Okay.
Made it.
Now sweep the antenna around slowly.
I feel like a samurai.
Stop.
Hacking the logger's database now.
We'll have the location of the Von Von tree in no time.
It smells awful.
That should be enough.
(gags) Smells awful, but it tastes worse.
Like I tell Ralph, bad taste means good medicine.
Well, he's a genius.
He doesn't buy that for one second.
Bottoms up.
WALTER: We hacked the database and made our way to a Von Von tree.
TOBY: All right, fantastic.
Grab some fruit and let's get cooking up a cure.
Small problem with the fruit.
It's all the way up at the top.
There's no way we're shooting a vine over that.
Well, if we can't get up to the fruit, we'll have to bring it down to us.
Cabe can shoot it down.
No.
It'd just splatter all over the treetop.
We have to shake it down.
That tree's too big to shake.
We can make the tree shake itself.
Trees have resonant frequencies, just like a tuning fork or idling car engine, except the tree's is organic.
We can find it, create vibrations to match and amplify it.
Causing the tree to vibrate and shake down all the fruit.
I read an interesting paper on vibratory fruit harvesting from Cornell University that claimed PAIGE: Save the lecture, professor.
We don't have time to discuss the math of fruit picking.
How do we do it? HAPPY: We can't hit the tree with enough power and rhythm ourselves.
We need something mechanical.
CABE: In the loggers' camp there was a buzz saw that feeds the logs with a wedge.
I can rig the wedge to do the job.
Sly, research the Von Von tree and find out if anyone has ever calculated its resonant frequency.
May take time.
I'm working one-handed.
This bug bite has caused an odd paralysis.
I got an idea how we can calculate the tree's resonant frequency.
It'll take two people.
I'll grab the saw wedge with the generator.
Doc, you meet me at the loggers' camp.
TOBY: On my way.
Keep giving him tea and rubbing alcohol to his forehead.
Okay.
I'll hit the tree with the hammer at various locations with a variety of force.
You watch the water bottle and when the waves on the water's meniscus peak We'll know where to strike the tree with the machine.
Let's do it.
WALTER: That's it.
(chitters) Why'd you bring that ugly primate with you? Don't insult the monkey.
I was talking to the monkey.
(chirping softly) Camp looks empty.
There's no sign of guards.
Well, if those wasps were chasing me, I'd keep running, too.
Let's go.
Unhook that strap.
(gasps) Cabe, looks like he didn't keep running after all.
Hide.
Over there.
(chirps) Hold it right there, big fella! Don't move.
Don't even scratch.
Doc, grab that rope.
(rope creaks) (screeching) (grunting) (shouts) I-I love apes.
Ask the monkey! (shouts, whimpers) (grunting) (buzzing) (whimpering, grunting) (shouting, grunting) No.
(screeching) You owe that monkey a banana.
(whimpers) Ralph, my whole arm is dead.
I need an ambulance.
I'm calling 911.
Sylvester, think fast.
How'd you know I was gonna catch that? I didn't.
But I knew the problem with your arm was in your head.
It's a harmless tomato hornworm.
Your reaction was psychosomatic.
Maybe you feel guilty about staying behind while everyone else went to the Amazon.
TOBY: Kid's diagnosis is sound.
You know, if Ralph gets sick of math or physics, he should study psychiatry.
Yeah, or become a real doctor.
(clicks) Hey.
Bicker less and work more.
Work's done.
Timing adjusted.
Okay, the wedge should strike with the proper frequency at the optimal spot calculated.
Start it up.
(whirring) (thumping) It's not workin'! Be patient.
We're striking it to amplify its natural frequency.
In 1831, marching soldiers created harmonic oscillation that destroyed an English bridge.
This has worked before.
Or it was a crappy bridge! (low rumbling) It's happening.
Guys, this is bad.
What's bad? Well, now that I know I'm not dying, I am able to look at my Von Von tree research.
And it seems it is home to a deadly species of the Rhondonian wandering spider.
TOBY: Uh, spiders are the second most vibration-sensitive organism in the world! CABE: So by shaking down the fruit, we're gonna shake out the spider.
Here they come! TOBY: Oh, man, oh, man, big spiders.
Get off the ground! I don't know how you don't know this, but spiders can climb, too! WALTER: All that matters is that we're not directly touching the earth! HAPPY: Because it's damp and conducts electricity! I'm following your thinking, Walt.
(zapping) Spiders are probably just stunned.
All right, well, let's shake down the fruit before they wake up! On it.
That was crazy.
(zaps) (screams, grunts) (weakly): I can hear the trees talking.
Oh, no, that's the fever talking.
I don't know if you can understand, Thiago, but our team normally comes through in these situations.
But we've never been up against the Amazon before.
I'm sorry.
Von Von fruit! Get your Von Von fruit here! I never doubted them for a second.
WALTER: Okay! Cut one open! Let's get some in Thiago! (panting) You do the honors.
How long before we know? He's getting pure juice directly under his tongue.
Sublingual absorption of a liquid is rapid, and the antivirals in this fruit are potent.
So we should see a physiological response quickly.
- What if it doesn't work? - Then we failed to find the cure.
And then he dies, along with who knows how many more.
Not goo (grunts) See? I can't even say my thing, 'cause I think I'm gonna get clicked.
Da-da-da-da! Yell at me later, 'cause right now I'm feeling a heart rate that is slowing down and steadying! This is a good sign, guys! This is very good! CABE: We've all been exposed.
It'd be prudent for us all to eat some.
Here.
Oh, that is awful.
Oh.
I can feel my taste buds dying.
I like it.
(chirping) Oh.
Hey, Simian Freud.
Want a bite? Share it.
(chirps) Thanks for nothing, quack! We're worse off than before we came here.
Wow, 32 clicks! That's a new record! Not 32.
It hit 99 and then turned over.
It's 131 clicks.
Really great work, Cecil.
All you proven is that the woman I'm gonna marry drives me crazy.
Oh, Tobias, you already knew she was driving you crazy.
But you left out a really important word.
You said, the woman you're going to marry.
What you should've said is, the woman you're still going to marry, despite her stunted emotional growth and apparent nastiness and your Pollyanna approach to this relationship and that stupid hat, you're still getting married.
After 131 clicks.
Means you love each other, made for each other.
Whatever you two have, it works.
Don't change a thing.
You are gonna be great as husband and wife.
My bill.
And you're welcome.
He's good.
(grunts) You're dismantling it? (grunts) I realized no matter how much I try to avoid my fears, they'll still find me, even if they're not real.
So why not face 'em head-on? (grunts) I am moving my garden to the rooftop.
(grunts) Real potted soil.
Time to get my hands dirty.
Or gloves.
Probably wear the gloves.
Get the gloves dirty.
Baby steps, Walter.
Baby steps, Sly.
TOBY: Hey, new haircut! HAPPY: Nice.
Handsome kid.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Excellent choice.
No more using the blue bowl.
SYLVESTER: Good! 'Cause I destroyed it.
Couldn't have it in the kitchen contaminating the other bowls.
Plus, I got some of the blue liquid they put combs in.
Its active ingredient is alkyldimethylbenzylammonium chloride.
Thought we could do some experiments.
Sweet.
Paige, how's the new do affecting you? Well, change is inevitable.
Sometimes it's bad, like a virus mutating from monkeys to humans.
And sometimes it's good, like a fruit evolving to combat sickness.
No matter what, though, change is gonna happen.
In the end, I know Ralph is old enough to make his own choices.
But I just wish he didn't want to change to match what he thinks the world wants.
CABE: Nice lid, kid.
That's gonna get all the girls.
I don't care about that.
My old hair was preventing my lab goggles from creating a proper face seal.
What was that for? For not changing too much.
Just got off the phone with Dr.
Silva.
Thiago's gonna be fine.
And when the Rhondonian government went back into the jungle to collect more fruit to make medicine, they busted the loggers.
Ah.
We saved some lives, saved some trees.
And Toby made a new friend.
I miss my monkey.
CABE: Well, I'm gonna gather my stuff and head on home.
I got a TV dinner there with my name on it.
Can't be worse than the Von Von fruit.
Have a nice night, gang.
I'm gonna ask Cabe if he wants to hang out tonight.
He still misses Allie.
I think he could use a friend.
I'll do it.
It's kind of my job to take care of the team emotionally.
No, I'll do it.
He's hurting, inside.
I think I can help him.
That was empathy.
Walter identified emotional pain in someone else and demonstrated empathy.
You can't empathize if you haven't been through a similar situation yourself.
Walter wasn't just being jealous or petty about Tim, was he? No, he wasn't.
I know you didn't mean to, but you must've really broken his heart.
And now he knows what that feels like, and he is applying that data to someone else.
Well, Ralph may not be changing, but Walter certainly is.
Hmm.
We've been over this, Doc.
Last week, you had to tell me I had made a friend.
Let me repeat that: I didn't know I had a friend.
Got me thinking, maybe I'm a little closed, and that's not the best way for us to start our new life together.
If our marriage is gonna work, I need to be able to express myself better.
Understood, but I am a world-class behaviorist.
If you want premarital counseling, I could No.
We need a third party.
Okay.
All right.
We see a therapist.
But does it have to be him? I'm just tickled you thought of me.
Dr.
Cecil is the man for the job.
He helped you and Walt harmonize last year.
He picked up on the fact we were secretly dating, put it out there so that the team could deal.
If it wasn't for him, we might not even be getting married, so suck it up and let's do this.
Man's a doctor like Crunch is a captain.
His Alma matter has "dot com" in the name.
Tobias, what matters here is not matriculation.
What matters here is ramification, i.
e.
the outcome.
Yes.
But all that comes out of your mouth is B.
S.
That's your inner child talking, and he's rude.
Now you both filled out my pre-session questionnaire.
Though Tobias's seemed to be mostly creative suggestions for where I could shove my paperwork.
Miss Quinn, on the other hand, took my assignment seriously.
Seems your challenging childhood may have left you a little, uh "emotionally stingy.
" She's not stingy with her emotions.
She is particular as to when she shares them.
Happy, are you, uh, untrusting? No.
She's discerning.
Quick to anger? She's fiery.
She's my spicy Asian noodle.
The, uh, problem here is crystal clear.
Wow, you're seriously gonna try to identify Happy's pathology from a two-page questionnaire? Tobias, it's not Miss Quinn's pathology I'm identifying.
It's yours.
Mine? Sweet.
Your fault.
You refuse to see any of Miss Quinn's flaws.
You put her on a pedestal.
He's right.
You do.
You think I'm really great.
And that's bad? Happy can't open up, bare her soul, if she feels she won't be given an honest assessment of her true self.
Why share her intimate thoughts and feelings if all she gets back from you is surface-level pabulum? I am honest with her.
I honestly think she's wonderful.
Let's test that hypothesis.
What's that? I call it the Bicker Clicker.
Patent pending.
How does it work? Every time you say or do something that should cause you two to bicker, he hits the clicker.
It keeps count.
We get back together, review the numbers, see where we are.
We're gonna be at zero, because everything she does delights me.
Let me ask you something, how do you feel about Happy dragging you here to see me? "Timothy Armstrong Commemorative Greenhouse"? Thought I'd name my new hydroponic greenhouse in honor of Tim.
This being his old office and all.
I got one.
Huh.
(door opens) And I think you're being overly critical.
I'm not being critical.
Just think that Dr.
Rizzuto should live on a pond and we should throw bread at him, 'cause he's a quack.
Oh, look! They're doing something distracting.
Let's us see what that is.
I'm about to test my Sandwich Plane-Tiling Hypothesis! I can't miss this.
All my life, I have been trying to solve "square bread versus round tomato.
" How to get total bread coverage without overlapping the tomato slices, which has been impossible because circles on a square in the Euclidean plane have a maximum packing density of .
9069.
So, the solution was to think outside of the box by growing my tomatoes inside a box.
Think you have too much time on your hands now that the election's over.
Quiet.
This is important.
Says the inventor of the world's stupidest hot dog.
Wow.
Everything is stupid to you today.
Hot dogs, going to Dr.
Rizzuto There's still some small gaps here.
WALTER: Yeah, the round edges are a problem.
Maybe you should try to cover the bread with one big tomato slice.
Yes.
Beef up the nutrient slurry in the hydroponics, and make version 2.
0 a super-tomato.
I need measurements.
(door opens) (door closes) Let me just show you on the computer? Fine.
Go ahead.
I just think it's unnecessary.
What's going on? Oh, Ralph wants to change his look, go to a salon, get a real haircut.
Real haircuts happen in barber shops, not salons.
Where does he get his hair cut now? Oh, I do it.
I just put the blue bowl over his head and trim.
I wash it afterwards.
What's this? I created a program which allows me to digitally try out new hairstyles.
Cool.
Let me see this! How about this one? You look like every hockey player in 1992.
Absolutely not.
Oh, try this.
Flock of Seagulls.
WALTER: It's an odd style, yes, but it doesn't look like a single bird, much less a large number of them.
I don't get it either.
Don't worry, Ralph.
You're too young and he's too Walter.
Give me this.
Thank you.
Let me see Oops.
Oh.
Evil genius.
What's the matter with you? Don't like turning Ralph into digital Wooly Willy? No, it's just Ralph never cared about his hair or what he wore or anything like that before.
He starts conforming, he's not gonna be his true self anymore.
I guess I just don't want my sweet little genius to be corrupted by the outside world.
Look, Mom, I have Walter's hair.
And Happy.
And "The Toby.
" Wow.
Nobody looks good in that hat.
(clicks) For insulting the hat? The hat and I are one.
Look, I'm Cabe.
CABE: Looking good, kid.
(phone ringing) Agent Gallo.
Did you see how he checked that caller ID? He was hoping it was Allie.
Cabe and Allie broke up on the same day as you and Tim; you're fine.
I knew that relationship was ending.
Cabe and Allie just got started.
He's taking it hard.
I carpooled with him this morning.
All we listened to was Patsy Cline's "Crazy" on repeat.
Who's Patsy Cline? Oh, she was the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls.
CABE: All right, listen up! We've got a case.
The client's gonna be here in ten minutes.
This is good.
Give Cabe something to take his mind off of Allie.
How do you know about that? There's more gossip in this place than a high school.
At least, I assume so.
I take college classes.
Part-time.
You're still in the sixth grade and your carpool will be here any minute.
Go get ready.
CABE: This is Dr.
Isabella Silva of the World Health Organization.
Give her your full attention.
What do you know about Marari? It's a virus spreading through the Amazon rainforest region of South America and thousands are infected.
SILVA: Yes, and the mathematical models show that the number of dead could quintuple by the end of next week.
SYLVESTER: The differential equations they're using are sound-- this is bad.
And some of those infected will get onto airplanes and before you know it Pandemic.
Marari is a muy bad way to give up the ghost.
It starts with fever and it heads south quickly.
If you're lucky, delirium sets in so you don't notice so much while your insides liquefy.
What is the cure? There isn't one.
That's where we come in.
Your government told us about the DNA device you developed to match genetic samples in the field.
Yes.
We used it to identify a war criminal in Cuba.
Can you use it to run a more in-depth analysis? Elaborate.
Marari started in primates; it's killed thousands of them.
But we've identified a rare endangered monkey species called the Humboldt Capuchin whose show no ill effects from the virus; we believe it is immune.
You want us to identify and isolate the gene responsible for that immunity so that a cure can be created? WALTER: It's just additional calculations.
It's quite basic, really; at least it is for me.
I can code it into our device's software.
HAPPY: It does no good if we can't get our hands on one of those rare monkeys.
Actually a trapper managed to catch one deep in the jungle last night.
They're trucking it to a remote airfield in the small Amazonian rainforest country of Rhondon as we speak.
We need to hustle down there, and test this monkey for the Marari virus before it spreads any more.
If you can confirm this monkey is the linchpin, the W.
H.
O.
scientists can create a vaccine.
Okay.
We'll grab our gear.
Uh, quick sidebar.
There is a reason explorers call the Amazon "The Green Hell.
" It is an unforgiving place filled with the most deadly creatures on earth.
Everything there wants to bite, sting, slash, crush, poison, infect or otherwise murder you.
(Sylvester inhales) But I can handle that.
I mean, you guys made me catch a snake a few weeks back in the desert and I did that.
You saved my life.
So what's the problem? Monkey.
I have a legitimate phobia of the primate we call Macaca fascicularis.
Your phobia is a load of Macaca.
I am terrified of monkeys.
I nearly blew everything in Djbouti last year because of one of those furry vine swingers.
I can't go.
I'm gonna freak out and put the entire mission at risk.
HAPPY: Well, you are in luck, ya big baby, because we actually need you here.
Explain.
HAPPY: I'm not sure if I can soup up the DNA scanner hardware to do that much heavy lifting.
The garage's computer power would work better.
So we get a sample from the monkey, upload the data, Sly runs the test to see if there are any anti-viral proteins that could be making the monkey immune.
What might take hours in the jungle could be done here in seconds.
Thank you, Happy, for saving me from unwanted monkey business.
Chicken.
Scared of those, too.
Okay, Sly stays.
Rest of us, time's wasting, lives are on the line-- let's go.
E.
T.
A.
on the truck carrying the monkey is any minute.
Let's get set up to run the test.
I noticed a lot of bare patches in the jungle when we were flying in.
I thought the Amazon was lush.
Illegal logging.
A total area the size of Germany has been decimated over the last 40 years.
WALTER: The world's losing over 100 animal, plant and insect species per day.
TOBY: And with them goes potential disease cures.
A quarter of western pharmaceuticals have sources in the rainforest, and only one percent of the plants here have been tested.
That means minute, every day, we could be losing the cure for cancer who knows? WALTER: Not to mention, over 20% of the world's oxygen comes from the rainforest.
And the more of this we lose, the less O2 and the more CO2 we get.
Who's cutting down all the trees? Here in Rhondon, it's mostly a multinational logging company.
CABE: Rainforest hardwood gets big bucks in the international market.
SILVA: Locals have been fighting back, moving into and occupying the work camps while the loggers are out cutting trees.
The corporation has started hiring armed mercenaries.
I was reading up on the Amazon on the flight in.
The local sloths have lost 90% of their habitat due to logging.
Poor little guys.
You know they mate for life? Which means there's gonna be a lot of 'em left alone, hanging upside down, all by themselves, waiting to die Listening to Patsy Cline.
(vehicle approaching) (horn honks twice) They ambushed us! Who, Thiago? Loggers' hired thugs.
They shot our trapper! HAPPY: Oh, man.
That the guy who caught the monkey? He also caught a round to the torso! Gunshot wound.
Mid-clavicular line, left fifth intercostal space.
What does that mean? Means if we don't get him to a hospital, he's dead.
SILVA: I'll take him on the helicopter, send it back for you ASAP.
(groaning) Where'd the monkey go? I was off road, trying to get away, and the cage got smashed open.
He escaped? We have to find it.
How are we supposed to do that? She's right.
It's one monkey in a vast and hostile jungle, and the only person with a clue how to trap and track it has been shot.
Well, you're the genius.
Just figure something out before that thing gets too far away, because if you don't, the Marari virus is gonna spread, and people are gonna die.
Uh, not good.
(clicks) You say "not good" a lot.
Scorpion 3x19 Monkey See, Monkey Poo How do we find a monkey needle in a jungle haystack? Search area widens every second that banana-muncher is running free.
Well, it's not just the area, it's what's in it.
Birds of prey, boas, big cats-- they all have a taste for monkey.
And people.
Just saying.
I have an idea.
Sly, are you there? Standing by, Walter.
Search for a satellite with eyes on the Amazon, something infrared.
CABE: Recent Homeland brief mentions ongoing DEA surveillance in South America.
They should have heat vision.
Found it! Redirecting.
WALTER: The trapper recorded the monkey's vitals, so we're looking for something 18 inches in length, a mass of two pounds, and body temperature of 105 degrees.
Filtering the satellite's thermal imaging sensor for those variables.
Where did the monkey get out? Half a mile from here.
Searching from your current position, fanning out half a mile.
Two hits.
Sending the coordinates to your phones.
One is to your northeast, the other to your southeast in a big, clear-cut area.
What's the clear-cut area southeast of here? Loggers' camp, but they shoot first, ask questions later.
Happy, Doc and I'll check out the camp.
I'm coming with you.
Hold on.
How old are you? 20, but I know the jungle.
Please.
My people are dying.
I can't stand by and do nothing.
You'll go with Paige and me.
We'll check out the other area, okay? Let's go.
Sly, the heat signature we're tracking isn't moving.
- Is the signal frozen? - I told you already.
I've checked it repeatedly.
He hasn't moved.
Maybe he's a tired monkey.
(Sylvester screams) (whimpering, yelling) (groans) Why did you just scream? Caterpillar! If you're checking on your tomatoes instead of monitoring this monkey I'm looking at the image now.
Ooh, what a shock.
He hasn't moved.
I'm giving you accurate information.
Why don't you check for yourself? You're practically on top of the thing.
What's wrong with your hand? A caterpillar bit me, and now, it's rashing up.
It's in a cup in my greenhouse.
Do you think you could get it so we could check the bioproteins in its saliva? I think I'm terribly allergic.
(sighs) WALTER: Well, there's no sign of the primate anywh Oh.
There's the thermal imaging source.
Where? Up that tree, under the wasps' nest, but Oh.
It's not a monkey.
(wasps buzzing) THIAGO: It's camera trap.
An environmental group donated many to my village to disperse through the jungle to watch for illegal loggers.
The heat we picked up is from its battery, so we just wasted our time.
Maybe, but we didn't.
Got our eyes on a monkey.
He's in a loggers' camp.
Went into a tent.
We've got it cornered if we can get to it.
I don't see any loggers.
Probably out logging.
They do that.
Shh.
Look.
HAPPY (whispering): They left a guard.
You think you can nail him in the leg or something? Fire fight is just gonna scare the monkey, or attract more bad guys.
(wasps buzzing) I know how to get past him.
What are you thinking? A wasp bomb.
Sorry I asked.
The tree moss is damp enough to create plenty of smoke.
Smoke makes wasps docile, so, then we cut down the nest, carry it to the loggers' camp.
Carry it? With what? Uh those.
Those branches on the ground.
Pick 'em up.
And then, we'll also need some small vines.
Be careful, Walter.
Bugs are dangerous.
(twig snaps) Ralph, have you looked up the larva online yet? What are you doing? The caterpillar! It's loose.
No.
I need to know what species bit me! I'm red, irritated.
I could've ingested a toxin! Why don't you ingest an ice tea and calm down? Just find it! CABE: Oh, geez.
Monkey still in the tent? Yup.
You okay? Nervous.
I've seen what those wasps can do.
Please don't drop that nest.
Okay, when he comes around again, I will fling the wasp nest You're gonna fling it? Hey.
How about the one with the, uh, high school letter in lacrosse? You? (sarcastically): No.
Toby.
I know the letters in the word "lacrosse.
" Quiet.
Toss it just behind him.
He'll think the nest fell from the tree.
(loud buzzing) (mutters) Okay, you and Thiago-- you stay back and look out in case the guards come back.
(monkey chattering) Approach slowly.
(chattering) Easy, monkey.
We just want to perform some scientific tests on you.
(chattering) CABE: Okay.
I think I got an angle on him.
Now! (monkey screeching) CABE: Uh WALTER: Get the thing! Get it! Get it! (screeching) He's over there! (screeching) WALTER: Whoa, whoa, whoa, that way, grab him! TOBY: Careful.
Ah, ah I got you, little Come on, let's go.
Easy Whoa! (groans) Toby! Aah.
I slipped in something.
Aah, it came from the monkey's butt! (shrieks) Oh, God.
Get it off of me! (shrieking) Got it! (whimpering) Get it, get it (shrieks) (Toby groans) (screeching) Aah, it's getting away! (monkey continues screeching) That way! In retrospect, the rucksack might have been a bad idea.
(sighs) (screeching) (chittering) WALTER: Watch out! Watch out! You okay? Okay? Oh, there! Over there! (chattering) How are we gonna get him down? If we can't catch him in an enclosed tent, how do we climb up there and nab him? Uh, we need all hands on deck.
Toby, Happy, you coming? HAPPY: On our way! I probably have a concussion.
Stop being a baby.
(clicks) What the hell? (clicks) I'm gonna take that clicker and shove it up your (clicking) There's a lot more where those came from.
We showed her.
According to my research, the Humboldt Capuchin has a mating ritual where they rub themselves with the flower of the muira puama.
Perhaps you can entice him to bond.
Where do we find muira puama? They're everywhere out here.
We just passed some a ways back.
Few meters high, covered in small white flowers.
Toby, Happy, did you hear that? Way ahead of you, boss.
PAIGE: Thiago, what's wrong? Are you okay? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's just hot.
TOBY: Okay! I got the flowers! What's wrong? The kid's got the virus.
Oh, yikes.
He doesn't look good.
Yikes? That's your medical opinion? No.
My medical opinion is that Thiago's done for if we can't synthesize a cure for him from that monkey.
How did you miss that he was sick? He's been sweating! We've been hiking through the Amazon, Cabe.
We're all sweating.
Have we been exposed? Uh, virus is only contagious before symptoms present.
We could have missed the window, or we could infected now.
It's too soon to tell.
(monkey screeches, chatters) Let's get the little bastard out of the tree already.
Okay.
Uh, well, someone just has to rub these flowers all over themselves and attract the little scamp down here.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on.
I already tangled with Furious George in the tent.
You touched the flowers.
If more than one of us smell like muira puama, it'll get confused.
Besides, he could easily be attracted to you.
I'm not sure if that was an insult.
I found an anthropological paper online describing their mating rituals.
I'm sending it to you now.
Got it.
Okay, uh, Toby, squat down and hop in a circle.
Mm-hmm.
Stick your butt out more.
You got to present yourself.
Oh I am going to die.
My milkshake brings all the monkeys to the yard.
(chittering) You got its attention.
PAIGE: Good, now raise your eyebrows.
More.
Big eyes.
Look, it's working.
(screeches) Oh, he's sweet.
I'm gonna call you Simian Freud.
I-I didn't say anything.
I know what you're thinking.
So what do we do, draw blood? No, no.
You know what, a cheek swab'll work just as well and it won't hurt him.
Hey, Simian, we're gonna do a little monkey see, monkey do.
Now, I'm gonna open my maw real wide and you do the same.
You ready? Sly, coming your way.
Got it.
Running the tests now.
We have a problem.
Wow, this virus is moving through Thiago like jerky through Cabe.
SYLVESTER: Unfortunately, the data I just ran won't do him any good.
Why not? Because the DNA analysis is complete.
And the monkey is not the cure.
What do you mean the monkey isn't the cure? Are you sure, Sly? Uploading the results to you now.
Well, he's right.
There's nothing here that denotes any type of atypical viral protection.
But the monkeys are immune to the virus.
How's that possible if Toby can't find anything in its DNA? Uh, could be a parasite.
Then let's cut it open and see what's in there.
You keep your hands off my monkey.
WALTER: Agreed.
Dissecting the monkey would be an inefficient use of resources.
We only have one.
Holy poop.
I have a solution.
Monkey turds.
I need to know his diet.
- We check its stool.
- If you're gonna make that monkey poo the same way you made it open its mouth I'm out of here.
No, no, no, I got a better way.
We dig through this.
I stepped in its caca in the tent.
What's Toby talking about? A pile of crap.
Isn't he always? Have you found the caterpillar yet? No.
But he can't hide forever.
Sly, the world's grossest scavenger hunt turned up zero critters, but I did find some odd-looking seeds, and I'm sending you a photo now.
Here's your pen.
You can keep it.
SYLVESTER: I think I got something.
Those seeds belong to the fruit of the Von Von tree.
The Von Von tree grows to heights above the Amazon canopy, into the emergent rainforest layer.
It's endangered by the logging industry.
Not a lot of them left, guys.
Von Von tree.
Got it.
These monkeys eat the Von Von fruit.
They're the only thing that does.
Taste is terrible.
TOBY: The fruit could contain biological properties that protect the monkey.
There's only one way to find out.
We mash the seed, a little alcohol to break down the cell walls, voilà -- the sequencer should read it.
Got it, running the test.
Thiago's burning up.
I don't think he's gonna last much longer.
We might have something.
Sending.
There's a zinc finger in the seed's protein that resembles antiviral chemical structures.
This could be it.
Thiago Hey, Thiago.
Where can we find a Von Von tree? O macaco nao é um macaco.
His fever's progressed to delirium.
He can't help us.
We have to hurry.
Now, if we've contracted the virus, we can't risk going down before we find the fruit.
If we die, countless die.
HAPPY: Uh, how do we locate one rare tree in the middle of the rainforest? We find out from the tree experts: the loggers.
Big risk to just go up to them.
They shoot first, remember? Especially after they found their tent destroyed by Toby.
There was a monkey in a bag over my head.
HAPPY: They're from big corporations-- there's got to be a digital database.
CABE: So Sly can hack in there, go check their maps, gets the tree GPS coordinates.
That's a no-go.
I'm trying as we speak, and the loggers aren't uplinked.
When we were using our tech to track the computer at their camp I noticed a very weak WIN signal.
What's a WIN? Wireless intranet.
Private network.
Probably connects their logging machinery.
You can hack that? If I have a strong enough signal.
They're working deep in the jungle, need a high spot above the trees.
PAIGE: You mean like there? CABE: Amazon book I was reading on the plane was talking about zoologist expeditions that used these platforms to study wildlife in the canopy.
It's a perfect place to set up an antenna.
First we have to build one.
Ralph and I used to get TV with homemade coat hanger rabbit ears.
Metal blade of the machete and a coil of wire from my bag will get their signal.
If we can get it up there.
If you can get it up there.
And how am I supposed to do that? Now, we'll chop down some vines and then tie them into a rope.
And I can make a grappling hook from your backpack frame.
Nobody can throw a grappling hook up that high.
Especially weighed down by heavy vines.
We're not gonna throw it, we're gonna launch it.
Now, Sly, can you see if you can find us another camera trap? On it.
Paige, Toby-- stay with Thiago.
Happy, Cabe, we'll also need a small hollow log.
For what? I'll explain later.
Let's go.
Found a camera trap near you, Walter.
Sending you the coordinates.
Hurry up and find that worm.
It's tiny.
This place is huge.
Look faster.
He's burning up.
We got to get soursop.
What's that? Mother Nature's fever medicine.
Um, grab a lighter from my bag and get a fire going.
I got the camera trap and the hollow log.
WALTER: That'll do.
You just found us our mortar tube, Cabe.
(panting): All right.
How we gonna fire this without gunpowder? Overload the camera's lithium ion battery.
It'll give us the explosion that we need.
Now, Cabe, tie the vines to the grappling hook while Happy preps the battery.
Now, without instruments to accurately measure this angle, I'll have to eyeball it.
But I think we should be able to hit our mark.
Done.
Grappling hook ready.
Done.
Thermal runaway process started.
Okay, Happy, drop the battery down the hollow log.
Cabe, stick the hook in the top.
Yep.
Hey, how long before it goes boom? Unknown.
Could be milliseconds or it could be (hook clangs against metal) now.
Did it make it? HAPPY: Okay, hook is secure.
Time for exercise, Cabe.
Studies have found it's good for depression.
All right.
(grunts) All right, that's a good fire.
Here.
Now we just need to crush 'em, boil it and get Uncle Toby's homemade jungle juice into this fella.
(grunting) Okay.
Made it.
Now sweep the antenna around slowly.
I feel like a samurai.
Stop.
Hacking the logger's database now.
We'll have the location of the Von Von tree in no time.
It smells awful.
That should be enough.
(gags) Smells awful, but it tastes worse.
Like I tell Ralph, bad taste means good medicine.
Well, he's a genius.
He doesn't buy that for one second.
Bottoms up.
WALTER: We hacked the database and made our way to a Von Von tree.
TOBY: All right, fantastic.
Grab some fruit and let's get cooking up a cure.
Small problem with the fruit.
It's all the way up at the top.
There's no way we're shooting a vine over that.
Well, if we can't get up to the fruit, we'll have to bring it down to us.
Cabe can shoot it down.
No.
It'd just splatter all over the treetop.
We have to shake it down.
That tree's too big to shake.
We can make the tree shake itself.
Trees have resonant frequencies, just like a tuning fork or idling car engine, except the tree's is organic.
We can find it, create vibrations to match and amplify it.
Causing the tree to vibrate and shake down all the fruit.
I read an interesting paper on vibratory fruit harvesting from Cornell University that claimed PAIGE: Save the lecture, professor.
We don't have time to discuss the math of fruit picking.
How do we do it? HAPPY: We can't hit the tree with enough power and rhythm ourselves.
We need something mechanical.
CABE: In the loggers' camp there was a buzz saw that feeds the logs with a wedge.
I can rig the wedge to do the job.
Sly, research the Von Von tree and find out if anyone has ever calculated its resonant frequency.
May take time.
I'm working one-handed.
This bug bite has caused an odd paralysis.
I got an idea how we can calculate the tree's resonant frequency.
It'll take two people.
I'll grab the saw wedge with the generator.
Doc, you meet me at the loggers' camp.
TOBY: On my way.
Keep giving him tea and rubbing alcohol to his forehead.
Okay.
I'll hit the tree with the hammer at various locations with a variety of force.
You watch the water bottle and when the waves on the water's meniscus peak We'll know where to strike the tree with the machine.
Let's do it.
WALTER: That's it.
(chitters) Why'd you bring that ugly primate with you? Don't insult the monkey.
I was talking to the monkey.
(chirping softly) Camp looks empty.
There's no sign of guards.
Well, if those wasps were chasing me, I'd keep running, too.
Let's go.
Unhook that strap.
(gasps) Cabe, looks like he didn't keep running after all.
Hide.
Over there.
(chirps) Hold it right there, big fella! Don't move.
Don't even scratch.
Doc, grab that rope.
(rope creaks) (screeching) (grunting) (shouts) I-I love apes.
Ask the monkey! (shouts, whimpers) (grunting) (buzzing) (whimpering, grunting) (shouting, grunting) No.
(screeching) You owe that monkey a banana.
(whimpers) Ralph, my whole arm is dead.
I need an ambulance.
I'm calling 911.
Sylvester, think fast.
How'd you know I was gonna catch that? I didn't.
But I knew the problem with your arm was in your head.
It's a harmless tomato hornworm.
Your reaction was psychosomatic.
Maybe you feel guilty about staying behind while everyone else went to the Amazon.
TOBY: Kid's diagnosis is sound.
You know, if Ralph gets sick of math or physics, he should study psychiatry.
Yeah, or become a real doctor.
(clicks) Hey.
Bicker less and work more.
Work's done.
Timing adjusted.
Okay, the wedge should strike with the proper frequency at the optimal spot calculated.
Start it up.
(whirring) (thumping) It's not workin'! Be patient.
We're striking it to amplify its natural frequency.
In 1831, marching soldiers created harmonic oscillation that destroyed an English bridge.
This has worked before.
Or it was a crappy bridge! (low rumbling) It's happening.
Guys, this is bad.
What's bad? Well, now that I know I'm not dying, I am able to look at my Von Von tree research.
And it seems it is home to a deadly species of the Rhondonian wandering spider.
TOBY: Uh, spiders are the second most vibration-sensitive organism in the world! CABE: So by shaking down the fruit, we're gonna shake out the spider.
Here they come! TOBY: Oh, man, oh, man, big spiders.
Get off the ground! I don't know how you don't know this, but spiders can climb, too! WALTER: All that matters is that we're not directly touching the earth! HAPPY: Because it's damp and conducts electricity! I'm following your thinking, Walt.
(zapping) Spiders are probably just stunned.
All right, well, let's shake down the fruit before they wake up! On it.
That was crazy.
(zaps) (screams, grunts) (weakly): I can hear the trees talking.
Oh, no, that's the fever talking.
I don't know if you can understand, Thiago, but our team normally comes through in these situations.
But we've never been up against the Amazon before.
I'm sorry.
Von Von fruit! Get your Von Von fruit here! I never doubted them for a second.
WALTER: Okay! Cut one open! Let's get some in Thiago! (panting) You do the honors.
How long before we know? He's getting pure juice directly under his tongue.
Sublingual absorption of a liquid is rapid, and the antivirals in this fruit are potent.
So we should see a physiological response quickly.
- What if it doesn't work? - Then we failed to find the cure.
And then he dies, along with who knows how many more.
Not goo (grunts) See? I can't even say my thing, 'cause I think I'm gonna get clicked.
Da-da-da-da! Yell at me later, 'cause right now I'm feeling a heart rate that is slowing down and steadying! This is a good sign, guys! This is very good! CABE: We've all been exposed.
It'd be prudent for us all to eat some.
Here.
Oh, that is awful.
Oh.
I can feel my taste buds dying.
I like it.
(chirping) Oh.
Hey, Simian Freud.
Want a bite? Share it.
(chirps) Thanks for nothing, quack! We're worse off than before we came here.
Wow, 32 clicks! That's a new record! Not 32.
It hit 99 and then turned over.
It's 131 clicks.
Really great work, Cecil.
All you proven is that the woman I'm gonna marry drives me crazy.
Oh, Tobias, you already knew she was driving you crazy.
But you left out a really important word.
You said, the woman you're going to marry.
What you should've said is, the woman you're still going to marry, despite her stunted emotional growth and apparent nastiness and your Pollyanna approach to this relationship and that stupid hat, you're still getting married.
After 131 clicks.
Means you love each other, made for each other.
Whatever you two have, it works.
Don't change a thing.
You are gonna be great as husband and wife.
My bill.
And you're welcome.
He's good.
(grunts) You're dismantling it? (grunts) I realized no matter how much I try to avoid my fears, they'll still find me, even if they're not real.
So why not face 'em head-on? (grunts) I am moving my garden to the rooftop.
(grunts) Real potted soil.
Time to get my hands dirty.
Or gloves.
Probably wear the gloves.
Get the gloves dirty.
Baby steps, Walter.
Baby steps, Sly.
TOBY: Hey, new haircut! HAPPY: Nice.
Handsome kid.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Excellent choice.
No more using the blue bowl.
SYLVESTER: Good! 'Cause I destroyed it.
Couldn't have it in the kitchen contaminating the other bowls.
Plus, I got some of the blue liquid they put combs in.
Its active ingredient is alkyldimethylbenzylammonium chloride.
Thought we could do some experiments.
Sweet.
Paige, how's the new do affecting you? Well, change is inevitable.
Sometimes it's bad, like a virus mutating from monkeys to humans.
And sometimes it's good, like a fruit evolving to combat sickness.
No matter what, though, change is gonna happen.
In the end, I know Ralph is old enough to make his own choices.
But I just wish he didn't want to change to match what he thinks the world wants.
CABE: Nice lid, kid.
That's gonna get all the girls.
I don't care about that.
My old hair was preventing my lab goggles from creating a proper face seal.
What was that for? For not changing too much.
Just got off the phone with Dr.
Silva.
Thiago's gonna be fine.
And when the Rhondonian government went back into the jungle to collect more fruit to make medicine, they busted the loggers.
Ah.
We saved some lives, saved some trees.
And Toby made a new friend.
I miss my monkey.
CABE: Well, I'm gonna gather my stuff and head on home.
I got a TV dinner there with my name on it.
Can't be worse than the Von Von fruit.
Have a nice night, gang.
I'm gonna ask Cabe if he wants to hang out tonight.
He still misses Allie.
I think he could use a friend.
I'll do it.
It's kind of my job to take care of the team emotionally.
No, I'll do it.
He's hurting, inside.
I think I can help him.
That was empathy.
Walter identified emotional pain in someone else and demonstrated empathy.
You can't empathize if you haven't been through a similar situation yourself.
Walter wasn't just being jealous or petty about Tim, was he? No, he wasn't.
I know you didn't mean to, but you must've really broken his heart.
And now he knows what that feels like, and he is applying that data to someone else.
Well, Ralph may not be changing, but Walter certainly is.
Hmm.