Xena: Warrior Princess s03e19 Episode Script

[ Man .]
Line coming down! [ Man #2 .]
Right here! Throw those sacks up! Tie that off! I'll take care of this! Yes, sir! [ Woman .]
You are going on a long voyage.
I see a man on this voyage.
[ Xena .]
Let me guess.
Tall, dark and handsome, right? As a matter of fact, he is.
Right.
Come on, Gabrielle.
Give her a chance.
You see, we're not going on a voyage.
We just needed some supplies.
We're passing through.
- Perhaps I misread.
- Perhaps.
Sorry.
Your dinar.
Have another look.
[ Gasps .]
What? What is it? All right, Gabrielle, that's enough.
Come on, please.
No! There's danger-- great danger-- and death.
Did you hear that? She just described every day of our lives.
[ Chuckles .]
Sort of spooky, huh? If you buy into that kind of thing.
Look, your future is less in your palm than in your own two hands.
It's what you make of it.
Okay.
In that case, these two hands should locate food, or there'll be no dinner in our future.
I'll get everything else we need.
I'll meet you back here at noon.
Careful, miss.
Convicts boardin'.
Poor bastards.
I know they done wrong and they ought to be punished, but sellin' them to work in the mines? Must be a hard life.
Hard? It's no life at all.
I'm tellin' you, miss, you're lookin' at dead men.
Autolycus.
Autolycus.
Gabrielle, you shouldn't be here.
Me? You're in a chain gang.
What happened? A small miscalculation.
Now get outta here, will ya, before you make things worse.
Hey, hey, miss! No fraternizing with the prisoners! Now, shove off! All hands on deck! Weigh anchor! We're losing the tide! Hoist the mainsail! Prepare to cast off! Come on! Let's move it! Let's go! -Move it! - Wait! I just wanna talk to my friend.
- You still here? - Gabrielle, get outta here! - Take him below, and cast her ashore! - There's no need to get rough! You heard the captain! Stow it! Why don't you pick on someone who can fight back? You're pathetic! Go on! After her! I'll take this one and this one.
Come back here, missy! Xena! Xena, quick! I got ya! Xena, help! No use struggling! Xena! Xena! [ Man Narrating .]
In a time of ancient gods -- [ Xena Yells .]
warlords and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena, a mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power.
The passion.
-The danger.
- [ Kiaiing .]
Her courage will change the world.
Xena! [ Kiaiing .]
[ Kiaiing .]
Xena! I guess we are going on a voyage after all, huh? What in Hades' name is going-- I'd like to know the answer to that myself.
Who are these women? What are they doing on board? I didn't hire you as a passenger ship! She tried to free one of your prisoners.
Law says we gotta arrest her.
- You did what? - There's been a mistake.
Yes, and you made it.
Aiding a convict's a serious crime.
But, Thadeus, maybe she can explain.
[ Thadeus .]
Soraya, you've no idea what these cons are like.
Believe me, it's not just because they're cheap labor.
I'm doing the state a favor taking these animals to do something useful! Autolycus is not an animal! Autolycus? What's he got to do with this? [ Gasping .]
You trying to drown me? Xena, what are you doing here? I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Chains aren't usually your look.
[ Man .]
I got somethin' you can look at.
Bet you'd like it too.
Don't you think so, Petrodes? Or is that Petrified? Real funny, Macon.
Then why ain't ya laughin'? Back off! What did I tell ya? Animals! Captain, we need help here! [ Chuckles .]
Come on now.
No need to get testy over a little misunderstanding, right? Oh, I think we understand one another perfectly.
Right, Macon? All right, so what gives, huh? Nobody keeps the king of thieves in chains unless he wants to be there.
So, why would you wanna be sent to these mines? What's in 'em? Oh, you know, the usual-- dust, dirt, rocks.
Diamonds.
Diamonds? Oh, well, yeah, sure, you know, a few.
[ Petrodes .]
You kiddin'? It's the largest diamond mine in the world! [ Laughing .]
Xena, if you think I would go to all the trouble of having myself caught and chained up-- For the chance to bag some diamonds? Yeah.
Call me crazy.
All right, I did.
But can you blame me? It's like waving a red flag in front of a Minotaur.
Xena, this plan is a cinch, as long as you don't blow my cover.
[ Banging .]
What was that? Did you feel it? Some kind of jolt! You didn't feel it? I did.
[ Banging .]
There it is again.
Didn't you feel that? Sorry.
It's a first, being on a ship.
I don't know how anything's supposed to feel.
Oh.
Well, no wonder you're sick.
Look, there are these pressure points that I can show you.
It'll clear it right up.
Thanks, but I'll be fine.
No, really, there's actually-- It's not the sea.
You're pregnant? Is that it? Congratulations! Shh, please! Not so loud.
Why? Aren't you excited? Yes, of course.
It's just, um, Thadeus doesn't know yet.
You know, you can only keep it a secret from him for so long.
I know.
The trouble is, his mother died in childbirth.
So Thadeus, he told me when we married, no children.
He's too scared to ever want me pregnant.
I'm too scared to tell him I am.
That's ridiculous! She's only doing this to try and save her friend.
She thinks he's innocent.
He is, but that's beside the point.
It's no reason to head back to port, that's for sure.
He had his day in court.
Listen, this is not about Autolycus! Didn't you feel it? Can't you smell it? Look.
Mount Aetna's just past the horizon.
She's active.
- You see that cloud? - So, there's a cloud.
So what? A little rain never hurt anyone.
That's no rain cloud.
- She's right.
It's ash.
-[ Xena .]
The air is full of it.
Look at the sea.
What's our depth? - Six fathoms.
- We should be running ten, at least.
The sea level's dropping.
- The wind's died too.
Holy Hera, sacred mother of -- - How far are we from port? No, we're too far.
We'll never make it.
- Any place closer? - What are you talking about? We're not changing course.
Oh, yes, we are! Stand by to come about! [ Both Gasping .]
The water 'round here's full of reefs and geysers.
- But with any luck, we can ride the current away from here.
- Do it.
Thadeus, you get Soraya and Gabrielle into the hold.
Make sure they stay there.
Not till you explain what's going on! Mt.
Aetna's erupted! So? Why are we running from a volcano? We're not.
We're running from worse.
I think we just altered our course.
Xena must have changed their minds about Autolycus.
I think we're heading back to the port.
What is it? Come on, quick! You gotta get down to the hold right away! Why? What's wrong? Hurry! Where's Xena? Something's up.
We've changed direction.
Maybe we're going back.
That'd be great.
You think? Oh, yeah, great.
Xena? Gabrielle, get down below! What's happening? We're expecting trouble.
Now, go! Maybe I can help you! Gabrielle! There.
That's the problem.
No, no! Don't jump! Get below! -Listen to me! Stop! - [ Screaming .]
Come back! It's no use! Come on! [ Captain .]
You're safer on board! [ Men Shouting .]
Gabrielle? [ Moaning .]
Gabri-- Gabrielle.
Hey.
What in Tartarus happened? The tidal wave hit us.
Turned us over completely.
No kiddin'? How'd we right ourselves? We didn't.
Look around you.
That bolted door leads to the cabin, and the other to the forward compartment.
Must be the air that's trapped in one of the cabins that's keeping us buoyant.
But it won't last forever.
Gabrielle! But this is crazy! Gee, it's impossible! [ Autolycus .]
Improbable, maybe.
Impossible? Clearly not.
Get out of those chains and help me find Gabrielle and the others.
Ah, so much for those diamonds.
How did you-- Why would you-- [ Woman .]
Help! Help, somebody, please! She's in the forward compartment.
Gabrielle! Help! Please! [ Man Grunting .]
- Soraya, are you hurt? - It's not me.
It's Thadeus! You've gotta help him! Okay.
Thank the gods! [ Groaning .]
My leg! Something's wrong! We'll need some help.
Let's unchain Macon.
Here, give us his key.
No, no, don't do it.
You can't! You can't let those scumbags loose! [ Autolycus .]
Sure, we can.
- We don't need your key to do it.
- He's free.
But how? Just be glad that he is.
We need to get you out of here before this whole place floods.
Soraya, we'll need some splints.
How bad is it? - Tell me! -[ Petrodes .]
No! She's dead! Gabrielle! No! No, please! Get her away! Get her off of me! Gabrielle! She's dead! Get her away! She's dead! She's dead! The wound-- I can't see it.
That's because it's not hers.
[ Gabrielle Exhales .]
Gabrielle.
The captain, he's hurt.
He-He-He-- I know.
We can see that.
Are you all right? I am, I think.
Good, 'cause I need your help.
Come on.
[ Screaming .]
Okay, Gabrielle, you should be able to feel when it's in place.
- [ Bones Cracking .]
- [ Moaning .]
- It's not.
-Okay, go again.
Hold him steady! [ Moaning .]
It's set! Good.
Put him down.
- Soraya, you got that sail thread? - Right here.
We're gonna put on a splint and we're gonna move ya, but first, I've gotta stitch you up.
No way! The water's rising too fast! Xena knows what she's doing.
All right! Enough doctorin' the dyin'.
I'm gettin' outta here! So back off, or she buys it right now! You gotta help us move him.
- I ain't gotta do nothin'! - All right, so you get out there.
- What then? - I go up through the hull straight to the surface.
It's too late.
We're down too deep.
You'd never never make it.
You're wrong! Just look at the leaks if you don't believe me.
They're from nails that have been forced out by the pressure.
That wave hit us hard.
We're too far under.
[ Hull Groaning .]
You do that again, and I won't wait for the sea.
I'll kill you myself.
Okay, let's get him patched up, and then we'll move him.
Okay, Petrodes.
Now can you just hold his head up a little bit higher? Keep this bandage around his wound.
What does it matter? We're all gonna die anyway.
That's the spirit, Petrified.
You may as well hang a sign around your neck saying, "Fish food.
Come and get me.
" Please! Can't you see he's scared? Don't waste your breath, Soraya.
Oh, that's rich! Coming from someone who's wasting the air we could be breathing! - Yeah, that's just perfect! - Shut up, Macon! Look, how 'bout this? Why don't we take everything and move it to one side of the hold? Maybe the weight will spin us around right side up again.
We're too heavy.
Feel the floor.
The forecastle is completely flooded.
And the forward compartment is nearly swamped as well.
You said there was air behind that door! It's keeping us buoyant.
You open that door, and we sink like a stone.
So what're we gonna do? I don't know.
We're moving with the current.
If we can turn the rudder so that we're moving against it, maybe we can get onto one of those reefs that the captain talked about.
-It'll buy us time to think.
- Well, I've heard worse plans.
Not many.
But I'm game.
- Me too.
- I'll help.
Are y'all crazy? We're trapped inside a sinking ship, and you're makin' like the Argonauts! Well, I'm not riding this bucket to my grave! I'll take my chances in the sea.
Macon, no! Hold on! We're going down! [ Grunting .]
[ All Gasping, Coughing .]
Everybody, keep calm.
Gabrielle and Soraya, you see to Thadeus and the captain.
The rest of you, help me with the rudder stock.
We gotta break down the housing.
Smash it down.
We gotta reach the shaft and turn it.
Petrodes, take this lever and get to work.
Spare me, Almighty Poseidon, that I may praise your name forever! Petrodes, you take this lever and you get to work.
All right.
[ Grunting .]
Okay.
Now grab the pole and turn it toward me! It's no use! You can't even get a grip.
[ Straining .]
[ Autolycus .]
Ah, come on! Stand back.
Get out of the way.
[ Shouts .]
[ Shaft Creaking .]
[ Loud Crash .]
- Xena? - It's all right, Gabrielle.
[ Autolycus Laughs .]
We must've hit the reef, just like you said.
We've stopped sinking.
It worked! Poseidon be praised! You see? You see? He listened! He listened.
We're saved! [ Hull Groaning .]
Maybe we are saved, but for how long? I don't know.
He's lost a lot of blood.
His pulse is weak.
He's in shock.
I'd say that goes for all of us, trapped in here until we run out of air or luck.
We'll just try and keep him as warm as we can.
What are we going to do? I'm workin' on it.
What are you doing? Stop it! Well, what do ya know? The bitch has bite after all.
Out of the way! He's a goner.
No point in lettin' him use up our air.
I say we put him out of his misery.
No! He's hurt! He's not dead! You can't just kill him like he was some sort of animal! Why not? That's how he treats us-- like animals! You're right, but killing him makes it true.
Who's gonna stop me? You? And me.
Yeah.
Bunch of losers.
Thank you.
I know how you must feel about my husband.
You're a good man.
Thank you.
Thank all of you.
She's right, you know.
Like it or not, you are a good man.
Spare me, Xena.
We both know what I am.
What's that? Someone who can let a friend walk straight into trouble all for the chance to steal a few lousy stones.
Well, excuse me, I must've mistaken you for a man who once risked his life to save mine.
There is quite a resemblance.
Look, you don't get it.
Even then, it wasn't my idea.
Xena, come on.
You were here inside me.
You know the truth.
I'm an opportunist, plain and simple.
You didn't ask me for help.
I jumped in with both feet.
But if you didn't think I was in trouble, you wouldn't be here, and neither would you.
- How do you think that makes me feel? - Guilty.
I'll drink to that.
[ Chuckles .]
It's empty.
Nothin' but hot air.
How perfect is that? Autolycus, you're a genius.
All right, everyone, listen up.
I've got a plan, but it's risky.
Whatever it is, it's gotta be better than staying here waiting to die.
Not by much, but it's a shot.
The reefs around here are full of volcanic geysers.
Geysers? [ Gabrielle .]
It's like an underwater spring.
It shoots jets of water up to the surface.
What I'm proposing is that we fill up some of these wineskins with air, and then we knock a hole in the side of the ship, and when the water level's up-- we swim for a geyser, sucking air out of the skins until we reach the surface.
I think I speak for everyone when I say-- - That's not true.
- Speak for yourself.
It's a great idea.
No, no.
He's entitled to his opinion.
So, Macon, if you've got any better ideas, I would sure like to hear 'em.
We all would.
Look at you! Bunch of sheep! Willing to follow anyone, even if it's straight to Tartarus! Well, not me! Geysers? You'll be scalded to death halfway up! That's if you're lucky.
And your insides don't burst from the pressure! [ Petrodes .]
Gods! Is that true? If you're foolish enough to ride the inside, then yes.
But if you stick to the outside where the geyser runs slower and cooler, you'll be fine.
We all will.
[ Macon .]
That's bull! The best way is still through the hull and straight up.
You'll never make it.
And without the geysers, our injured don't stand a chance.
Remind me when I have the time to care.
Right now, I say we take a vote! Those of you who want to do it my way, raise your hands.
What about you, Petrified? How do you vote? [ Shouting .]
[ Gasps .]
I've seen more leaks in a sieve.
We can't fix these.
Maybe we don't have to.
Feel the water here.
It's warm.
The geyser's on this side of the ship.
Well, it'll save us time and air.
Gabrielle, you and Soraya start blowing up wineskins.
Autolycus, find something to break through this wood.
Petrodes? Petrodes, we're getting out of here.
Do you understand? Petrodes, we're leaving here and heading up to the surface.
Okay, let it go.
Whatever you're hiding from, turn around and face it.
I know you can do it.
You have to.
I can't swim! What? I never learned.
When I was little, my brother and me were playing ball on the beach.
I was real hot and I wanted to quit, so I threw the ball, you know, just so he'd have to go and run for it.
But it went in the sea.
And Damon, he ran after it.
All's I remember is the wave hitting him.
And then he was gone.
And now he's coming back for me.
Petrodes, the dead can hear our thoughts.
That means that Damon knows it was an accident and he knows how much you loved him.
And most of all, he knows that you would never dishonor his memory by blaming him for your own fear.
We still need one more to have enough for everyone.
Okay, I'll get one.
Gabrielle, there isn't much time, so listen.
Whatever happens, I want you to make sure that Soraya gets through this, all right? We're all gonna make it.
Oh, I'm not a fool.
With this leg, I'd be lucky to make it to the geyser, let alone the surface.
So take my wineskin for extra air.
And take this.
It's priceless.
And it's yours if you save her.
I don't want it.
What, you want more? I've got more, believe me.
Just swear you'll-- - What are you doing? - I-- I was just-- Buying people again! Thinking everyone's for sale if you've got the right coin.
Pushing me off for the price of that pendant! No, I just wanted you safe.
You can't stay with me.
I'd hold you back.
You'd never make it.
Tell her! She's on a roll.
I can't live like this, Thadeus, not anymore.
You've got to stop trying to shield me from things and learn to trust that I won't break or melt or die.
At least, not yet.
I'm your wife.
You're my husband.
And soon, we're gonna be a family.
What? But, Soraya, you-- No buts! We're having a baby, and that's that.
So, please don't tell me to leave you behind.
A child needs both its parents, right? [ Sighs .]
I guess I'm gonna need that wineskin after all.
[ Banging .]
All right.
All right, that's it.
Okay, listen up! We put the injured through first, and then the rest of us go.
- I go last.
- Okay, I'll take Thadeus.
Not alone you won't.
I can't help you till I've cleared everyone else.
I'll help her.
Good.
You go first.
I'll take the captain.
You're gonna need help too.
When pigs fly.
[ Petrodes .]
I'll do it.
I'll help.
Okay.
All right, everybody got their wineskins? Then let's go.
Autolycus, is your group ready? As we'll ever be.
Great.
You lead the way.
Good luck.
Farewell.
Hey, Gabrielle.
See you topside, huh? Right.
Okay, come on.
She's waitin' for ya.
Deep breath.
Okay, Macon, come on.
Macon? Come on.
You can do it.
Deep breath, keep calm.
[ Kiaiing .]
He's still alive.
Barely.
We did it.
Guess we did.
[ Groaning .]
I believe this is yours.
Thanks.
Truth is I'm gonna sell it.
After all that's happened, I'm gonna need new workers for the mine.
Hired workers who choose to be there because the wage is fair and so is the way they're treated.
Xena! You okay? You know, you had me worried for a minute there.
I'm sorry about that.
I had to go back for something.
Why? I'm a killer.
Why'd you come back? What'd you expect? From you, nothin'.
From me, nothin' less.
He doesn't get it, does he? Not a clue.
So, what do you think of that palm reader now? Well, like you said, just another average day.