Good Luck Charlie s03e20 Episode Script

Deck the halls with boughs of Holly.
Fa la la la la la la la la la.
'Tis the season Hi! Hey, sounding good, Mrs.
Duncan.
Oh! I know.
It's going to sound even better when I sing it tonight at the annual Duncan Christmas Eve Talent Show.
Oh, mom, Spencer and I are singing too.
We even worked out a new Christmas song together.
Oh, that is so wonderful! And so brave of you to sing the same night I do.
Well, we're off to Super Christmas Land.
Ooh, Super Christmas Land? What's that? Oh, that's what Super Adventure Land calls itself, for one week each year at Christmas time.
Last week it was Super Hanukkah Land.
Next week it's Super Kwanzaa Land.
Merry Christmas, everybody! Oh, grandma's here! - Yay.
- Oh! Oh oh! Charlie, what do you have to say to grandma? Good-bye.
Sorry, she's just excited.
We're off to have her very first picture taken with Santa.
I understand.
Okay, well, we gotta run, but we can't wait to see you later.
- Oh, good.
- Okay.
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
Oh, Amy.
It's nice to see you.
Oh, Linda, it's nice to see you.
Well.
The decorations look nice and whatnot.
Although that wreath is in the wrong place.
I like it there.
I'll fix it later.
Okay.
Bob? - Oh, my goodness! - Mom! Is that my son or Hercules? Oh, mom! Please! Dropped some weight, got totally buff.
Don't make a fuss.
So, how was the flight? Oh, you know, the usual delays and whatnot.
But everybody on the plane loved the song that I'm going to sing at the Talent Show.
Deck the halls with boughs of Holly Oh, whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hang on there, grandma.
I'm singing "Deck The Halls".
Sweetheart, maybe you should clean the halls before you deck them.
I may deck something besides the halls.
Okay, stand down.
We both can't sing the song and I did come all the way from Phoenix.
She did come all the way from Phoenix.
- Well, it's my house.
- It is her house.
- I gave birth to you.
- I married you.
Ba-bam! Okay, fine! Nobody sings it.
That's my final decision.
Oh, that's your decision? Who died and made you King of the Talent Show? - Really! - Unbelievable.
Yay, Christmas.
Today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes.
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud.
There it is up on the roof.
I've been there, I survived.
So just take my advice.
Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
But I know your future's bright.
Hang in there, baby, there's no maybe.
Everything turns out all right.
Sure life is up and down.
But trust me, it comes back around.
You're gonna love who you turn out to be.
Hang in there, baby.
Hey, guys? Uh, listen.
I need a favor.
Well, since we're still in the pre-Christmas gotta-be-nice zone.
What can we do for you? I need you to find out what your mom got me for Christmas.
- Why? - Well, because.
Every year, your mom and I, we make this agreement not to spend too much on each other's presents but I never know what that means.
I would have thought "not spending too much" is a phrase you're very familiar with.
Every year I wind up getting it wrong.
Oh, right, like the time she bought you really nice watch and you got her those - Uh, what were they called again? - Slocks.
They're not slippers, they're not socks.
They're Slocks.
That was the Christmas that mom kept slipping and falling.
Slocks they're not just ugly, they're dangerous.
All right.
Come on, guys.
Hey When you were doing your present snooping, did you happen to see what your mom got me? Dad, I'm older now.
I don't do that anymore.
And thanks for the headphones! Well, naughty can't help me.
Let's try nice.
- Ooh, that's me! - Ha ha, PJ! Come on, find out from your mom what she got me.
- All right, I'll talk to her.
- All right, great.
She'll tell you anything.
We all know you're her favorite.
He is? Well, hey hey hey! I didn't say my favorite.
That would be Teddy, right? No comment.
Oh, relax.
I'm sure you're in the top five.
I know that you're tired and you're hungry and your feet are cold, but all this whining doesn't help.
But it's taking so long! When do I get to see Santa? Really soon, I promise.
Yeah, if that kid would ever get off Santa's lap.
He's been on there for like 10 minutes.
Yeah, what's taking him so long? It should be sit, list, snap, go.
Sit, list, snap, go! How hard is that? Santa can hear you, young lady.
Yeah, well, that's kind of the idea, Santa.
But seriously, you might want to cool it, all right? - Carl's not the nicest guy.
- Wait, you know Santa? Yeah, from when we worked here.
I did a show with him.
"The tribute to America".
He played Johnny Appleseed before he put on the weight.
Santa heard that too.
- Hey, mom.
- Hey.
What you doing? Welding.
Good good.
So, listen, I was thinking about what present to get for dad.
And I don't want to get him the same thing you did.
What did you get him again? Did your dad send you down here to find out what I got him? I'm not prepared for any follow-up questions.
I'm not going to tell you what I got him.
Then I won't ask again.
Am I still your favorite? That's why you're my favorite.
Yes! Well, then I'll let you get back to your welding.
- Good news, guys.
- You found out what your mom's getting me? No, but I confirmed I'm her favorite.
Well, there you go.
Gonna fail Christmas again.
Maybe I can help you.
You already bought mom a gift, right? And I'm guessing it's somewhere in the Slocks area? Actually, I got her a very special foam rug for the kitchen.
Something she can stand on when she's doing the dishes.
It's called the foot cush.
Oh, so you want the Slocks to seem like the good old days.
Wow, dad, you set the bar so low, I can't believe you went under it.
- Good one.
- Thank you.
I like yours too.
Guys, I'm just trying to be thoughtful.
Look, your mom saw a foot cushion in a store once, and she said she might like one.
All right, so the point is you got the cheap gift covered.
Now all you have to do is buy mom a nice gift.
Buy her two gifts? Exactly.
Then hide them in different places and after you open mom's gift to you, you'll know which one to give her.
Gabe! That's genius.
Eh? There you go.
That's why you're my favorite.
This whole favorite thing is starting to lose all meaning.
Yes.
We're next, Charlie.
Teddy, look.
Back in one hour?! You can't do that.
Sorry, missy, I get a one hour break every four hours I work.
Union rules.
- What Union? - H.
A.
G The Holiday Actors Guild.
No no, wait.
Come on, come on.
Look, we've been waiting here for two hours.
Okay, we're hungry, we're tired Take it up with H.
A.
G.
now get out of my way.
You're not going anywhere, Santa.
Try and stop me.
Ha ha ha! Whoops! Oh, Teddy.
Yes! Let's get the picture.
Here, I'll hold Santa's arms down.
Step away from the fat man.
Well well well.
If it isn't Teddy Duncan.
Howdy, Sheriff.
Merry Christmas.
You redecorated.
Place looks good.
We try to give it a holiday feel.
- Hey, honey.
- Oh, Bob? Um, I've decided I'm not going to sing "Deck The Halls" at the Talent Show.
Really? Oh, thank you.
Thank you for taking the high road and keeping the peace.
I'm going to do an impression instead.
- An impression? - Mmm.
Of a family member.
Can you guess who? "I flew all the way in from Phoenix and whatnot".
And, oh oh! "Bobby is so muscley and whatnot".
Oh.
Hey, mom.
Um, how much did you hear? I didn't hear a thing.
I just wanted to tell you that I've decided to let Amy sing "Deck The Halls" this year.
Well, I'm glad somebody understands the true spirit of Christmas.
Instead I'm going to do an impression of a family member.
Oh.
Can you guess who? "My house is dirty".
Ba-bam! I can't even hang a wreath.
"Ba-bam!" - Whatnot.
- Ba-bam! - Whatnot! - Ba-bam! Oh, come on.
You know what? I've had it with the two of you.
Forget it.
Talent Show is canceled.
- Who does he think he is? - You gave birth to him.
Well, you married him.
Ba-bam! So last year, you tackled the Super Adventure Land Mayor.
Today you bowled over Santa Claus.
What's next? You gonna harpoon The Easter Bunny? Well, I don't know.
I haven't made my plans yet for easter.
How much longer do I have to stay in here? You aren't going anywhere till we have a trial.
Can't have a trial till the Judge gets here.
Well, when will that be? Super Adventure Land Christmas court is now in session.
Santa? This is not how I wanted to be spending my break.
Teddy Duncan, you may approach the bench.
Finally.
In the case of Kringle versus Duncan, you are charged with assault with a snowman head.
How do you plead? Not guilty by reason of being Not guilty.
All right, Santa.
In your own words, tell us exactly what happened.
Well, I was taking my H.
A.
G.
mandated break and then she attacked me.
Ask him.
He saw the whole thing.
Uh, your honor, I have to recuse myself.
I'm in a very happy and committed relationship with the defendant.
Ooh, Sweetie.
Thank you, Sweetie, you are recused.
All right, let's hear from the defense.
Your honor, if I may, Christmas is the most magical time of year.
And who loves it more than anyone? The children.
And I was just trying to make one child happy.
So if that's a crime, well, then call me a criminal.
Or don't.
You know, whatever gets me out of here faster.
I've heard enough.
I'm ready to rule.
My verdict is guilty.
Yes! You're guilty.
Me? I'm I'm not on trial here.
I've never liked you, Carl.
It's time you learned a little something about Christmas spirit.
I sentence you to one picture with this little girl.
Thank you, Sheriff.
Yay.
Jolly it up, Carl.
What you doing? What are you looking at? What you doing? Oh.
Oh, he's such a sweet little angel.
Aw, he sure is.
It's too bad his first Christmas has all this fighting and unpleasantness.
I know.
I have a solution.
I'll help you pack.
I was going to say that we should sing "Deck The Halls" together.
You mean as a duet? Yes.
So, let's du-et.
Yeah! Let's give it up for the great Bobbini and his assistant Charlie! Okay, quick question for Bobbini.
That dove you made disappear? Where is it? Oh, don't worry, honey.
We'll find it later Hopefully.
Okay, well, up next, the musical stylings of grandma and mom.
Deck the halls with boughs of Holly.
Fa la la la la la la la la la.
'Tis the season to be jolly.
Fa la la la la la la la la la.
Don we now our gay apparel.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Troll the ancient yuletide carol.
Fa la la la la la la la la la.
See the blazing yule before us.
Fa la la la la la la la la la.
- Strike the harp - Ow! And join the chorus.
Fa la la la la la la la la la.
Follow me in merry measure.
Fa la la la la la la la la la.
While I tell of yuletide treasure.
Fa la la la la la.
La la la la! Well, there you have it, grandma and mom working together for the first and probably the last time.
Okay, next we have PJ and Gabe doing what are you guys doing? An exercise in improvisational theater.
That's right.
Improv at its finest, people.
We are looking for suggestions from the audience.
We need an occupation and an object.
- A lawyer and a rock.
- Has to be a cop and a banana.
- A cop and a banana.
- Excellent suggestion.
Oh, here I am being a cop.
Ooh, look at that.
A banana.
Now I'm peeling the banana.
Hey, I'm a criminal.
Give me that banana.
No, it's my banana.
And scene.
Okay, now Spencer and I are going to sing a new Christmas song for you.
Hope you like it.
I hear church bells a'ringing.
Carolers are singing.
Harmony with me now.
You are looking so lovely.
Yeah! Even if the lights go out.
We've got mistletoe, and firelight.
On this cold December night.
The snow outside will set the mood.
As I sing my song for you.
Woo! Merry first Christmas, Toby.
Yay.
For Gabe.
Okay.
Merry Christmas, Gabe.
Hey, headphones! Thanks, guys.
How do you know what's in it? You haven't opened it yet.
Oh, right.
Hey, headphones.
Thanks, guys.
Okay, where are mom's presents? Expensive one's under the red tree, cheap one's behind my chair.
Okay, honey, time for you and I to exchange presents.
But I want mine first.
Well, hang on there, tiger.
Easy easy.
Okay, let's see what we've got here.
Oh, my goodness! Whoa.
Big box, small present.
Mama Ames's Christmas fake-out.
Woo woo! What is it? I bought you your very own star.
Nice! Ooh! It's recorded in the International Star Registry and everything.
I almost bought him a planet.
That could have been ugly.
Wow.
Thank you, Sweetie.
Hey, mom, check it out.
Eh.
Okay, where's my present? Uh, hang on.
Still still loving my present, which must have cost you a pretty penny, yes? Dad, it's the thought that counts.
Can't put a price on that.
Yes.
But if you could Still waiting for my present.
Okay, um Uh Okay, all right.
- There we go.
- Ooh! What do we have here? Oh.
It's a bracelet.
Oh, Bob, it's beautiful.
But you must have spent Oh, now we're gonna talk prices.
Well, honey, I just I'm very thankful, I just I thought we agreed not to spend very much.
Maybe you'll find our gift a little more appropriate.
Hey, what are you you can't - This is from me and PJ! - Oh, my goodness! A foot cush? Yeah.
How did you guys know? Seriously, you guys! I have been wanting one of these forever.
Oh, my gosh.
I mentioned it to your father once, but I guess he wasn't listening.
We listen, mom.
Because we care.
Okay, time for our Christmas picture.
Okay.
Let's do it, guys.
Come on.
Hey, buddy.
Hey.
Oh, up we go.
Hey, buddy.
- Smile! - Sweetheart, oh! Dove at 10:00! Ah! Hey, Charlie.
Well, you finally got your first picture with Santa Claus.
It was a day to remember.
Although I hope you forget the part about me attacking Santa clause, and then going to jail.
Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that.
Hey, Charlie.
So, you finally got your first picture with Santa Claus.
That I'm mentioning for the very first time.
Hey, any chance I could say "good luck, Charlie"? - I've never said it before.
- Oh, yeah.
Sure, of course.
- Good luck, Charlie.
- Hey! Ba-bam! Hey.
You got your first picture with Santa.
Good luck, Charlie.
Snowy the Snowman, registered trademark of Super Adventure Land, incorporated? What are you doing here? My head's fine.
Thanks for asking.
Oh, are you mad because I used your head as a bowling ball? Little bit.
Look, I'm I'm really sorry.
Come on in.
Hey, how about I make it up to you? How about some cookies? I could eat.
Great.
All right, well, make yourself comfortable.
I'll be right back.
Okay, so great news, we've got chocolate chip, peanut butter Yeee! Oh! Snowy, no! I'm having a bad day.