Robot Chicken s03e20 Episode Script
Chirlaxx
It's alive! Yeast-infecto! Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Ooh.
Yeast-B-Gone! Sarah Michelle Gellar! Sarah Michelle Gellar! Uh-oh! Ice cream man! Ice cream man! Ice cream man! Taste pokey flame Charlax! The C.
A.
A.
Daily threat assessment report, sir.
Aw, bor-ring.
Your personalized daily comic book, sir.
Hey, hey, you got my attention now.
Dang it, no time to actually read this thing got to make a snap decision.
Watch your ass Middle East! Captain Texas is coming! For your ass, yippie-kay-yay.
What the Sorry that information is on a need to know basis.
What the No! Burning alive! You said we were using nuclear technology to help children.
Yes, to help children die! All the children in the world! No way, Jose.
You can't stop me.
Fuck those guys.
The U.
N.
Was wrong, and Iraq in the wrong for our children's future.
Now come get your whipping! You can not stop the missiles, only I have the codes So you must Negotiating with terrorist is for Democrats.
I'm George W.
Bush, and the "W" stands for Well here comes your ass kicking! Aw man, I shouldn't have thrown that little waiter in the fire so quickly, daggone it.
Aw, there's a saying in Texas, "kill two birds with one bush".
Ah, "bush in the bushes, is worth one in the " Aw, fuck it! One Middle East parking lot coming up.
So long, threat to America's economy! Or as you say, adios! Yeah, fuck you sun! Ha ha, yeah! I'm the President! And that's how I'm gonna fix global warming, too.
Captain Texas style.
Whoa, whoa no! I'm burning alive! Here I go! Hee-ya! Uh-oh! Thanks for tuning in and welcome to a special celebrity edition of Double Dare.
Let's say hello to the red team, Dare Devil I just heard someone fart in the audience.
And Stevie Wonder I'm feeling very superstitious baby.
And now I smell it.
And let's welcome the blue team, Marlee Matlin and Helen Keller.
Are you ladies excited to play? When are we starting? Great.
First question.
What animal makes this noise? A cow.
Correct, 500 points! Is someone going to signal me when we are starting? Next question.
Identify this object.
The object is a TV monitor.
Hey look a basketball.
Correct! Next question.
What is the noise that this animal makes? I'll take geography for 400 please Alex.
Helen wants to say she is incredibly confused where she is and seriously, if anyone could let me know when we're starting, that would be great.
As neither team could answer Helen Keller will now have to do the physical challenge! Helen will have to jump through these 3 flaming hoops on this tricycle.
And go! Oh, and straight into the pile of slime.
That's unfortunate.
Red team wins! Congratulations! Ah, man! Who is that? Who is that? Running across Canada in the Really? "I Regret" is the new game you'll regret if you don't play.
Ok, ok, I'm up, I'm up.
I regret, last night Julie.
What? I wanted to see you naked and I did and now I just don't want to be with you.
Uh-oh, I Regret! From Gabloo! Space Pirate Monkey, from Pluto! To King Arthur! And Camelot! So Bedivere, how goes the quest? What? Uh Well then, Sir Lancelot? This is a disaster.
Can't anyone help? Yo! What's up King Arthur? Sir Mix-a-Lot! # This table is long but it should be round # # King Arthur can't hear a sound # # When a knight has a talk, that brother's gotta walk # # About half a frickin' block to be heard # # Can't hear a word, 'cause this table is so absurd # # 'Cause knights got much to discuss # # But this table's ridiculous # Don't be ridiculous.
# Bedivere can't hear # # Yo, can you pass me some beer # Say what? # It's 20 feet by 80 # # Can't even flirt with ladies # # Better have long arms when your having a meal # # If you're trying to cop a feel # # We need a new proportion, to bring our kingdom fortune # # I got an idea that might work for ya # # I'm gonna make this mother circular # # Sir Galahad # - Yeah.
# Percival # - Yeah.
# Do you want to hear the other talk # Hell yeah! # Then bring it in, sit it down # # It's like King Arthur's crown # # Table be round # # Table be round # # Now with this circulation # # We can have nice conversation # Can you hear me now? I can hear.
- Holy cow.
# Make every knight say # - Wow! # Now you know that we can not fail # # When we're looking for the Holy Grail # # 360 on the perimeter and you know hoes like diameter # # Table be round # # Yeah # # Table be round # # And this for the circumference # # Table be round # Yeah man, fuck Percival, that mother owe me money anyway.
Come on man.
Come on man, where you win this shit at? Shooting dice? What the hell wrong with you? Crown wearing mother fucker.
Shit! Ah, this is a pickle.
Ah Huh.
Daddy, daddy, look.
Glow Worm is glowing.
Hey, thanks, you show me that thing like once a day.
Uh, the fuse must have blown.
Ah, damn it.
Oh, hell I never got batteries for the flashlight.
Daddy, what about Glow Worm.
Fine, just, just give it to me.
Ow! Ass packing, fucking end table, shit! Daddy, was Glow Worm hurt? No, daddy's knee cap was shattered like a dinner plate but Glow Worms a-okay.
Don't worry honey.
Honey, be careful on the basement stairs.
Oh really, 'cause I thought I'd go down backwards.
Hoping on one foot, but Oh shit! Ow! Ow! Ugh! Ugh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh, Fucking stairs.
Where's that fucking thing stupid fuse box.
Oh, come on work, damn it! Work! Honey, I think the power's out for the whole block.
It's a black out.
Th mother fucker! Damn, damn it, damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Stupid black out! I'm back, thanks for all your help.
Daddy, where's Glow Worm? Here's Glow Worm.
He's not lighting up when I hug him.
Hi, I'm Robot Chicken executive producer Seth Green.
And I'm executive producer Matthew Senreich.
As our 3rd season draws to a close we'd like to take a moment to remember those we lost along the way.
Ahh! Oh, god! Whoa! Oh! Uh! That's it? Only two? Jeez, the Oscars always have a billion of those things.
Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, I've got your java juice.
Ah! Ah! My beautiful face! Ah! Ugh! Three's pretty good right? Yeah, pretty good, but I think we could do better.
What the hell was that? You brought the card up too early.
What you think you're gonna fucking kill me? Not if I fucking kill you! Ha-ha! I am Robot Chicken! I am Robot Chicken! Stupid partner! Oh! Jesus! What the fuck! Ah! Why? No! Now what in tarnation is all this commotion in the hen house? Hey everybody it's Adult Swim President, Mike Lazzo.
Just look at all the dead folk laying around here like possums on the side of the road.
Our insurance is going to sky rocket ya'll! Wait, do you mean we Hell yeah, fellas! Robot Chicken is cancelled.
Is cancelled, cancelled.
# Bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk ba-wawk ba-wawk bawk-bawk-bawk # # Bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk ba-bawk #
Ooh.
Yeast-B-Gone! Sarah Michelle Gellar! Sarah Michelle Gellar! Uh-oh! Ice cream man! Ice cream man! Ice cream man! Taste pokey flame Charlax! The C.
A.
A.
Daily threat assessment report, sir.
Aw, bor-ring.
Your personalized daily comic book, sir.
Hey, hey, you got my attention now.
Dang it, no time to actually read this thing got to make a snap decision.
Watch your ass Middle East! Captain Texas is coming! For your ass, yippie-kay-yay.
What the Sorry that information is on a need to know basis.
What the No! Burning alive! You said we were using nuclear technology to help children.
Yes, to help children die! All the children in the world! No way, Jose.
You can't stop me.
Fuck those guys.
The U.
N.
Was wrong, and Iraq in the wrong for our children's future.
Now come get your whipping! You can not stop the missiles, only I have the codes So you must Negotiating with terrorist is for Democrats.
I'm George W.
Bush, and the "W" stands for Well here comes your ass kicking! Aw man, I shouldn't have thrown that little waiter in the fire so quickly, daggone it.
Aw, there's a saying in Texas, "kill two birds with one bush".
Ah, "bush in the bushes, is worth one in the " Aw, fuck it! One Middle East parking lot coming up.
So long, threat to America's economy! Or as you say, adios! Yeah, fuck you sun! Ha ha, yeah! I'm the President! And that's how I'm gonna fix global warming, too.
Captain Texas style.
Whoa, whoa no! I'm burning alive! Here I go! Hee-ya! Uh-oh! Thanks for tuning in and welcome to a special celebrity edition of Double Dare.
Let's say hello to the red team, Dare Devil I just heard someone fart in the audience.
And Stevie Wonder I'm feeling very superstitious baby.
And now I smell it.
And let's welcome the blue team, Marlee Matlin and Helen Keller.
Are you ladies excited to play? When are we starting? Great.
First question.
What animal makes this noise? A cow.
Correct, 500 points! Is someone going to signal me when we are starting? Next question.
Identify this object.
The object is a TV monitor.
Hey look a basketball.
Correct! Next question.
What is the noise that this animal makes? I'll take geography for 400 please Alex.
Helen wants to say she is incredibly confused where she is and seriously, if anyone could let me know when we're starting, that would be great.
As neither team could answer Helen Keller will now have to do the physical challenge! Helen will have to jump through these 3 flaming hoops on this tricycle.
And go! Oh, and straight into the pile of slime.
That's unfortunate.
Red team wins! Congratulations! Ah, man! Who is that? Who is that? Running across Canada in the Really? "I Regret" is the new game you'll regret if you don't play.
Ok, ok, I'm up, I'm up.
I regret, last night Julie.
What? I wanted to see you naked and I did and now I just don't want to be with you.
Uh-oh, I Regret! From Gabloo! Space Pirate Monkey, from Pluto! To King Arthur! And Camelot! So Bedivere, how goes the quest? What? Uh Well then, Sir Lancelot? This is a disaster.
Can't anyone help? Yo! What's up King Arthur? Sir Mix-a-Lot! # This table is long but it should be round # # King Arthur can't hear a sound # # When a knight has a talk, that brother's gotta walk # # About half a frickin' block to be heard # # Can't hear a word, 'cause this table is so absurd # # 'Cause knights got much to discuss # # But this table's ridiculous # Don't be ridiculous.
# Bedivere can't hear # # Yo, can you pass me some beer # Say what? # It's 20 feet by 80 # # Can't even flirt with ladies # # Better have long arms when your having a meal # # If you're trying to cop a feel # # We need a new proportion, to bring our kingdom fortune # # I got an idea that might work for ya # # I'm gonna make this mother circular # # Sir Galahad # - Yeah.
# Percival # - Yeah.
# Do you want to hear the other talk # Hell yeah! # Then bring it in, sit it down # # It's like King Arthur's crown # # Table be round # # Table be round # # Now with this circulation # # We can have nice conversation # Can you hear me now? I can hear.
- Holy cow.
# Make every knight say # - Wow! # Now you know that we can not fail # # When we're looking for the Holy Grail # # 360 on the perimeter and you know hoes like diameter # # Table be round # # Yeah # # Table be round # # And this for the circumference # # Table be round # Yeah man, fuck Percival, that mother owe me money anyway.
Come on man.
Come on man, where you win this shit at? Shooting dice? What the hell wrong with you? Crown wearing mother fucker.
Shit! Ah, this is a pickle.
Ah Huh.
Daddy, daddy, look.
Glow Worm is glowing.
Hey, thanks, you show me that thing like once a day.
Uh, the fuse must have blown.
Ah, damn it.
Oh, hell I never got batteries for the flashlight.
Daddy, what about Glow Worm.
Fine, just, just give it to me.
Ow! Ass packing, fucking end table, shit! Daddy, was Glow Worm hurt? No, daddy's knee cap was shattered like a dinner plate but Glow Worms a-okay.
Don't worry honey.
Honey, be careful on the basement stairs.
Oh really, 'cause I thought I'd go down backwards.
Hoping on one foot, but Oh shit! Ow! Ow! Ugh! Ugh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh, Fucking stairs.
Where's that fucking thing stupid fuse box.
Oh, come on work, damn it! Work! Honey, I think the power's out for the whole block.
It's a black out.
Th mother fucker! Damn, damn it, damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Stupid black out! I'm back, thanks for all your help.
Daddy, where's Glow Worm? Here's Glow Worm.
He's not lighting up when I hug him.
Hi, I'm Robot Chicken executive producer Seth Green.
And I'm executive producer Matthew Senreich.
As our 3rd season draws to a close we'd like to take a moment to remember those we lost along the way.
Ahh! Oh, god! Whoa! Oh! Uh! That's it? Only two? Jeez, the Oscars always have a billion of those things.
Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, I've got your java juice.
Ah! Ah! My beautiful face! Ah! Ugh! Three's pretty good right? Yeah, pretty good, but I think we could do better.
What the hell was that? You brought the card up too early.
What you think you're gonna fucking kill me? Not if I fucking kill you! Ha-ha! I am Robot Chicken! I am Robot Chicken! Stupid partner! Oh! Jesus! What the fuck! Ah! Why? No! Now what in tarnation is all this commotion in the hen house? Hey everybody it's Adult Swim President, Mike Lazzo.
Just look at all the dead folk laying around here like possums on the side of the road.
Our insurance is going to sky rocket ya'll! Wait, do you mean we Hell yeah, fellas! Robot Chicken is cancelled.
Is cancelled, cancelled.
# Bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk ba-wawk ba-wawk bawk-bawk-bawk # # Bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk ba-bawk #