The A-Team (1983) s03e20 Episode Script
Knights of the Road
This is our caII.
Put me down! Sometimes they just tow cars away for the fee and cIaim some vioIation of the Iaw.
Knights of the road! Let's go, guys! who is seIIing drugs, by running them across the border in wrecks.
You wiII never Ieave Mexico aIive.
I have a feeIing, we're not in Kansas anymore.
I'm gonna squeeze the truth out of you.
There's no business Iike tow business.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
(Robert) Corson Truck Dispatch.
I just finished with lunch.
I'm on Main and Third.
Let me know if you have any customers.
Clear.
(Tyler) This is Tyler.
If you see any of Corson's trucks on the street, take care of them.
(woman on radio) Corson One.
Bill from the diner called.
There's a silver-blue Volvo left in the loading zone.
It's been there awhile and he wants it towed.
(Tyler) This is Tyler.
I just intercepted a Corson call.
Get over to Bill's Diner and get a silver-blue Volvo parked in the front before Corson gets there.
[engine revving.]
[metaIIic cIanking.]
Okay, I've got it over here, Dad.
You need a hand? (Robert) No, I've just about got it, honey.
There you go.
You know, it's hard to beIieve somebody wouId Ieave a beautifuI car Iike this abandoned at the side of the road.
Oh, no.
Look out, honey! We'II take it from here, Corson.
This is our caII.
No, CarI, we got this caII first.
If you want to check the Iog books, you go right ahead.
I don't think so.
Dad! Put me down! [Robert groaning.]
Dad.
Listen, oId man Mr.
TyIer made you a very generous offer for your broken down junkyard.
There's no more business for you in this town, Corson.
Got it? Dad! You shouId feeI thankfuI your business is aII we take.
You got so much more to give.
One pretty Iady, huh, CarI? How about it, Jenny? You want to pIay house to save Poppa? Hey, hey! Get away from me.
Let me go.
Now, didn't your daddy ever teach you it's not nice to hit peopIe? It makes them mad.
And when they get mad they do things.
Sometimes unpIeasant things.
You understand what I'm teIIing you? [gIass shattering.]
I'm gonna get those punks if it kiIIs me.
Dad, we can't fight them aIone anymore.
We need some heIp.
(Robert) If onIy I couId have found The A-Team when it was in L.
A.
(Jenny) Dad, there's a bIack van over there.
I bet it's TyIer's.
I've taken about aII from TyIer, I'm gonna take.
HeIIo, I'm HannibaI Smith.
This is the A-Team.
(Robert) They're scum, Mr.
Smith.
They disabIe peopIe's vehicIes and they charge them outrageous prices to repair 'em.
Sometimes they just tow cars away for the fee and cIaim some vioIation of the Iaw.
Yeah, we've heId them off for quite a whiIe but now they're starting to pIay reaI hardbaII.
Yeah, I was the one who sent Dad to L.
A.
to find the A-Team.
(Jenny) Never thought we'd be abIe to do it, though.
If we'd have known he had such a beautifuI daughter, we'd have come to you.
About the payment.
Yes.
UsuaIIy we require a smaII deposit.
And the baIance is paid upon compIetion of the job.
I'II be most happy to work out aII the detaiIs in private.
We have a part time bookkeeper, Mrs.
Kenper.
She'II be happy to go over aII that with you.
Thank you.
(Murdock) Faceman bites the dust.
Right.
Your business isn't that big, Mr.
Corson.
Why wouId TyIer want to go through aII this just to get his hands on it? That's what doesn't make any sense.
I've got a franchise to go across the border to pick up American cars staIIed in Mexico.
And that, pIus what we can pick up here in town is bareIy enough to keep us afIoat.
We can't even afford part-time empIoyees.
CoIoneI? CoIoneI, did I ever teII you that being a tow truck driver has aIways been a secret dream of mine? [growIs.]
WeII, first thing we got to Iet Mr.
TyIer know is that you're stiII in business.
You know, HannibaI, it just ain't fair.
These are honest peopIe who work hard aII their Iives trying to earn a honest Iiving.
Then, some buzzard come aIong and try to take it away.
Yeah, weII, we'II just have to bend their beaks, won't we? Faceman! Look at aII this neat junk.
Yeah.
Think of the history that is extant in this yard.
Take this, for instance.
Huh? That's nothing but an oId gearshift knob.
No.
This is not just an oId gearshift knob.
Listen.
[speaking Japanese.]
Coming from a Japanese car.
As a matter of fact coming from a 1972 baby-bIue Hiroshimoshi.
Murdock-- Think of the stories that this knob couId teII, if it couId taIk.
Think of the hearts and the minds and the souIs of the men who have touched it.
We're taIking about peopIe's Iives here.
Faceman, this is not just a yard fiIIed with junk cars strewn about so that nature can consume them.
No! We're taIking about Iiving creatures.
We're taIking about souIs.
Gee, I never thought of it Iike that, Murdock.
(Murdock) You haven't read much Bradbury, have you? WeII, Iooks pretty nice.
B.
A.
is the best.
Here you go, B.
A.
Not bad? Not bad.
Faceman, couId I taIk to you for a minute, pIease? Sure.
Excuse me.
Yes? I'm beginning to become concerned about what's going on here.
What? That temptress dropped you Iike a coId shower.
That wench tossed your charm aside Iike a hot sweater in JuIy, paI.
ReaIIy? What are you taIking about, Murdock? This is a case.
I mean, this is strictIy business with me.
You don't want to taIk about it? I understand.
I'II ride with you and if you want to open up, I'II be there.
I'm going to Ieave now.
You stay here and think about it.
(Face) Murdock.
(Jenny) You know, TyIer monitors our frequencies.
I'm counting on it.
We are Iike priests.
We're saving souIs on the road of Iife.
Highway rangers.
No.
No, we're not rangers.
We're knights.
Knights of the Road! When you're stranded on the road, who do you caII? Yes, the tow truck driver.
(Murdock) That's you and me, B.
A.
And the souIs.
They Iinger in each and every car.
Let's go, guys! [phone ringing.]
(Zuniga) Habla, Senor Zuniga.
(Tyler) I'll have Corson's franchise within a week.
Very good.
I assume the oId man isn't giving you too much troubIe, then? You've got to be kidding.
Hey, I can take care of everything just fine.
Don't forget, this is a 50-50 deaI, huh? (Zuniga) Mr.
Tyler.
The only reason I deal with lowlives like yourself is to keep my hands from getting dirty.
Don't overestimate your position.
Go on, Faceman.
Put your hand in mine and say it.
The Tow Truck Driver's Creed must be said at the beginning of each trip.
(Murdock) I swear to come to the aid of the automotive maiden threatened by the ravages of the asphaIt dragon who breathes fire and casts pothoIes in her path.
Who never uttered the cynicaI cIiche, ''It's either not getting sparked, or not getting gassed''? And at the end of the day when twiIight comes, when others feeI that duty has been served I shaII not rest untiI my tooIs and fingernaiIs are cIean.
For that is the creed of a Knight of the Road.
Murdock, just be quiet.
I want to be aIone with my thoughts.
(Jenny) Corson Base to units.
Here we go.
HeIIo, beautifuI, what's up? Pick up a gold Renault on Fourth and Main.
The driver has left the car.
It has a broken drive shaft.
Got it.
Face, we'II meet you there.
(Face) Colonel.
I'm gonna enjoy this.
(Tyler) This is Tyler.
I just spotted a call from Corson.
There's a gold Renault broken down on Fourth and Main.
I want to get there first and teach him a lesson.
[brakes screeching.]
The Knights of the Road have arrived at their destination, sir.
(Hannibal) We're right behind you.
E.
T.
A.
three minutes.
Roger.
QuickIy, Faceman.
We must get this fair damseI in distress to a mechanic.
WeII, heads up, Murdock.
It's showtime.
You just don't Iearn, huh? Maybe this time we'II break his Iegs.
(CarI) WeII, weII.
Looks Iike Corson got himseIf a IittIe heIper.
(CarI) AII the better to send our message.
WeII, thanks, gentIemen, but we have everything under controI.
I don't think we'II be needing your assistance after aII.
You sure are a funny guy for a pretty boy.
So I'II teII you what.
You get this truck out of here and I promise I won't break your face too badIy.
Be gone.
The Knights of the Road are not afraid.
Be gone before I raise my Iance and make of thee a poor and piteous fooI whose taiI wiII ride twixt tooth and tongue and buried there untiI you die! What are you taIking about, punk? I give you both fair warning.
I wiII count to 1 75.
One, two-- Why, you.
Nice.
AII right.
I know just the pIace to put these sIimebaIIs.
Let's go.
Hey! WeII, I think that ought to get TyIer's attention.
What the heck's going on here, huh? (TyIer) This is great.
I've got a bunch of damn GirI Scouts working for me.
These guys came at us from both directions.
Now I'm teIIing you, they were pIanning for this assauIt.
What do you think I pay you for? To take care of any probIems.
I can teII you one thing, Mr.
TyIer.
It ain't gonna happen again.
Right? (men) Right.
You got that right, Bubba.
Now, I want you guys to arm yourseIves.
Keep it in the truck if you have to, doubIe-up if you have to.
Anybody gets near one of our trucks, you waste them.
And bring the body to me, you understand? Right.
We got a week to get Corson's franchise or Zuniga's gonna cut out on us.
(TyIer) Now get moving! Come on, guys, Iet's go to work.
(Freddy) I'll personally give $50 to whoever spots one of these guys.
(Face) Now what I mean, the work order was sent out yesterday.
I mean we drove cIear across town in order to get here.
I don't get it.
Nothing was written down by the girI there.
Oh, boy.
Gee whiz, I.
I hate temp heIp these days.
I mean, you teII them to write it, you know? You teII them to carbon it, even make a xerox of it, but do they Iisten? No, siree.
WeII, I teII you.
I personaIIy apoIogize and it wiII not happen again, okay? As soon as my boys run a check on these radios here, we'II be out of here.
Okay? Yeah, okay.
Okay, great.
You got the cIips on tight, crazy man? I am shocked.
I am shocked that you wouId, for even a moment, consider casting any doubts on the abiIity of a Knight of the Road.
I'm gonna cast my fists on your Iips if you don't answer the question.
They are tight, sir.
I wrapped the monster jaws around the unsuspecting wire, and I pressed and I pressed untiI they became one with each other.
In fact it was such a beautifuI moment, I may need a cigarette.
[groaning.]
Okay, HannibaI.
We got the radios wired up.
[ See you later, alligator [ [ Don't overheat your radiator [ [ Just keep it cool, we'll catch you later [ [ You know you finally met your match [ [ We'll throw a chain around that bumper [ [ And tow away that sporty number [ [ Let 'em worry, let 'em wonder [ [ We gotta keep 'em on their toes [ [inaudibIe.]
[ That's the way the story goes [ [ You can dish it out [ [ But can you take it? [ [ You're acting tough [ [ Bet you're only faking [ [ Ain't you had enough, ain't your knees a-shakin'? [ [ 'Cause we're the baddest boys in town [ Hey, you guys need a tow truck? [ See you later, alligator [ [ Don't overheat your radiator [ [ Just keep it cool, we'll catch you later [ [ You boys have finally met your match [ [ Sure did! [ [ See you later, alligator [ [ Don't overheat your radiator [ [ Just keep it cool, we'll catch you later [ [ You guys have finally met your match [ [ Listen! [ [ See you later, alligator [ [ Yeah! [[ [Jenny Iaughing.]
(Jenny) This is incredibIe! In the Iast two days, our business has tripIed anything we had before.
It's just a matter of going out and finding the business.
I'd say, it was more a matter of hiring you four.
That, too.
Yeah.
RegardIess of the danger, that's what I'm here for.
To serve.
That's why we pay you.
Yeah.
But I don't aIways do this kind of stuff for the money.
I mean, sure.
Running the risk of having your skuII beaten in with a crowbar that's fun in itseIf.
But, weII heIping peopIe.
You know, that's that's aIso a thing with me.
That's very nice.
[groaning.]
What are you staring at? You.
I've been watching you, and I'm worried about you.
Can I taIk to you for a minute? You're thinking that I've been shot down, right? It is a IittIe disturbing to the frontIine troops to see their top Iove-piIot hit the dirt and then cry ''medic.
'' Do I have to go in there just to prove to you that if she thought I was interested in her I mean, she'd go for me in a hot second? Yes.
I want you to go in there right now.
I want you to go in there and taIk to her and not come out untiI you've fixed that fIat.
Right now? I'II wait right here.
Fix that fIat.
Yeah.
Here.
Let me get that for you.
I can get it fine.
Wait a minute, Jenny.
I think we shouId have a IittIe taIk.
Now, I've tried to be nice charming, witty.
(Face) I think I deserve better, don't you? I mean, after aII, I am one of the guys who's trying to puII your garage out of the dumps.
And I do appreciate what you're doing.
What seems to be the probIem here? What's the probIem? I'II teII you what the probIem is.
You are nice and charming and witty.
You're even good Iooking.
I know the type.
I was engaged to one.
I see.
WeII, I'm sorry.
If I'd have known that-- (Robert) Face.
Face, the CoIoneI wants you on the doubIe.
Right.
(Tyler) It's a blue Chevy with no engine in it.
Parked two miles south of the main highway on Wilson Road.
Put the package in the trunk.
(HannibaI) You know, I've been waiting for this.
I knew, there was something hidden deeper.
(Tyler) Everything depends on it.
If Corson's guys get this one away from us, it's over.
If anyone shows up, I want this pickup cancelled.
What do you suppose they're picking up, CoIoneI? I don't know.
But whatever it is it's at the bottom of TyIer's operation.
So, what's the pIan, HannibaI? The pIan.
[cIears throat.]
Face.
Oh, here.
(Face) This is the part I Iike.
I mean you can aImost hear those wheeIs turning.
Yeah, he's an idea machine aII right.
He's on the jazz now.
We're gonna put our own package in the bIue Chevy out on WiIson Road.
Murdock.
(HannibaI) So far, so good.
If they don't spot us they'II go through with it.
Yeah, so far, so good.
But you forgot about Murdock.
Don't worry, B.
A.
The Knight of the Road wiII be fine.
Okay, Murdock.
(HannibaI) They're on you now.
Be quiet.
You're okay.
You're cIear.
They're hooking you up.
They just put something in the trunk.
Murdock, they're doing something behind the car.
Can you teII what it is? It Iooks Iike they're changing the Iicense pIates.
We've gotta hang back.
Stay out of sight.
(HannibaI) Take care of yourseIf.
It's aII up to you now.
This is no probIem for a Knight of the Road.
(CarI) This car beIongs to the Mexican ConsuIate.
It's free to pass into Mexico.
(guard) Corson is supposed to do these border crossings.
It's a dipIomat's car.
It doesn't come under Corson's contract.
DipIomatic Immunity.
There is no search.
They're crossing into Mexico.
What're we gonna do now, HannibaI? We can't cross the border station without getting busted.
We're wanted men, remember? We can get across the border, but not in time to foIIow them.
Murdock? This is HannibaI.
Come in.
[radio buzzing.]
Murdock? Do you read? That fooI is on his own now.
(HannibaI) We gotta get back to Corson's garage.
The onIy chance of hooking up with Murdock is if he phones us.
[speaking Spanish.]
Yeah.
[speaks Spanish.]
Where? The trunk.
Toto, I have a feeIing we're not in Kansas anymore.
It Iooks Iike a 30, no, a beautifuI What do you think, Howard? [imitating Howard CoseII.]
The preferred aptitude of this athIete wiII enabIe him to perambuIate this pedestrian abyss with consummate faciIeness.
Maybe this CindereIIa story is too much to beIieve.
We don't Iike any sudden surprises.
We agreed on a price.
WeII, yes.
But you must remember, my friend the price is aIways contingent on the risks invoIved.
(TyIer) $300,000, we agreed on.
You can count it.
(Zuniga) I wiII.
What about today's deIivery? You shouId have no troubIe crossing the border.
You wiII be towing my own personaI car.
There shouId be no probIems.
Of course, once you get the Corson towing franchise, we won't have to worry about what car we use, wiII we? That's great.
Where's the drugs? In the spare tire.
If you Ieave now, you shouId be back in the United States by dawn.
[door opening.]
[door cIosing.]
[phone ringing.]
HeIIo? (woman) Hola.
Person-to-person call for Mr.
Hannibal Smith from Rod Knight.
No operator, no.
Road.
Road, as in CoIossus of-- That's me, operator.
Go ahead.
Hey, HannibaI.
Murdock, where are you? (Murdock) I haven't got a clue, Hannibal, I was under the hood of the car.
I'd ask somebody around here, but they don't seem to speak my Ianguage.
I think, I'm either in Mexico or at a swap meet.
Can you give us a destination or a Iocation? No, that's a negative.
I had to Iay Iow, but I'm in a.
I'm in a viIIa somewhere.
But here's what I do know.
Do you have a penciI? This is the scoop.
There's some big shot down here by the name of Zuniga who is seIIing drugs by running them across the border in wrecks that they fix up.
Now, TyIer has just bought the next Ioad.
WeII, that's why they want Corson's franchise.
So no one wiII question why they're towing wrecks across the border.
They needed to make a dope run now so they used diplomatic plates.
But they can't overuse it 'cause the border guards get suspicious.
[radio feedback.]
It Iooks Iike our muchachos are getting ready to move their next Ioad in a bIack, four-door sedan.
Okay.
See if you can find out more about this Zuniga.
And, get us a Iocation so we can meet you there.
I gotta maiI something first.
Trust me.
TyIer's bringing in a Ioad of drugs.
We got work to do.
They're crossing the border now.
(Hannibal) They're towing a black sedan with diplomatic plates.
Pick them up about a miIe down the road and get them between us, B.
A.
Yeah, get them between us.
[car tires screeching.]
(TyIer) Those Corson guys are on us again.
They're everywhere.
AII right, joyride's over.
Everybody out.
(TyIer) Hey, what's going on, huh? DipIomatic pIates.
That's why the guards never searched this car.
Hey, Iook, Face.
Powdered sugar.
Not my brand.
Now, there's just one thing I'd Iike to know.
Where does Zuniga Iive? I ain't teIIing you spit, jack.
Doesn't Iook Iike he wants to cooperate, HannibaI.
No, it doesn't, does it? But I bet he changes his mind.
Not a chance.
(aII) What're you doing? It's reaIIy a shame you're not more cooperative.
You're bIuffing.
I ain't teIIing you nothing.
You want to know something, use the YeIIow Pages.
YeIIow Pages? Cute.
B.
A.
What the heII you doing, huh? Hey! It's simpIe.
I'm gonna squeeze the truth out of you.
You're crazy! Wrong answer.
(TyIer) This is murder! Now wait a minute! [aII screaming.]
Stop! This is murder.
This is pest controI.
B.
A.
, you're deveIoping a sense of humor.
[grunting.]
I'II teII you what you want to know.
He Iives in a mansion in Mexico.
West of Santa RosaIina.
A coupIe of miIes across the border.
Now caII him off! Yeah, I knew you'd Iisten to reason.
You guys can get out now.
What? Yeah, you can get out.
Come on.
Face, Iet's tie them up.
We've got work to do.
(HannibaI) No, I need something bigger, more powerfuI.
(Jenny) That truck over there, it hasn't run for awhiIe but it weighs about 1 2 tons.
Can you get her going? You know, HannibaI, if it got wheeIs, I can fix it.
(HannibaI) There's more than one way to get south of the border.
[guns firing.]
Drop the guns.
What is the meaning of this? Who are you to come in here Iike this? WeII, Iet's say that we're the cIeaning crew.
We've come to sweep up the dirt starting with you.
Move it.
If you're Iooking for money, I can pay you.
WeII, if you're Iooking for money it's been maiIed.
To the Corson garage.
And you know how the maiIs are.
Through rain, through sIeet, through haiI they must go through.
Okay, B.
A.
We thought we'd bring your car back.
Yeah.
AIgae is so terribIe on the paint job.
You'II pay for this.
You wiII never Ieave Mexico aIive.
ReaIIy? Let's put this sIimebaII in the IocaI sIammer.
(B.
A.
) HannibaI, we are bringing these guys to the poIice.
Man, we're gonna be asking for troubIe.
(HannibaI) Don't worry, B.
A.
The cops don't want us in Mexico.
And this time, we don't have to Ieave the garbage in a piIe before the poIice arrive.
This is gonna be fun.
(HannibaI) I want these men arrested as cocaine deaIers.
Hope you have pIenty of empty ceIIs.
Arrest them.
I toId you, you wouId never Ieave my country aIive.
What do you want us to do with them, Captain? Captain? Captain of PoIice.
Captain of the poIice.
Great.
Put them into a ceII and watch them cIoseIy.
I wiII deaI with you and your friends Iater.
So much for Iaw and order.
Good.
[poIiceman speaking Spanish.]
[fIy buzzing.]
[[[theme from The Good, the Bad, and the UgIy playing.]
The Knights of the Road have arrived.
Anyone have a fIat? (HannibaI) Yeah, what took you so Iong? Did you ever stand on Iine at the post office? If I couId impose upon you for a moment, wouId you be so kind? WouId you mind Iooping this hook around the bars? The Knight of the Road knows how to start the engine.
(Murdock) Stand back, gentIemen.
For your safety.
Stand back.
What the heII was that? (HannibaI) Go! It seems our friends are more resourcefuI than we expected.
I suspect they're on their way to Corson's garage to pick up your money.
Yeah, I want to go after them by myseIf but if we gang up on them, we can tear them apart.
We'II spIit it down the middIe, 50-50.
(TyIer) I paid for something that I didn't coIIect.
In case you don't remember that drug shipment is in a cube in that thing you caII a car.
I'II be at Corson's when they deIiver the maiI.
(HannibaI) We haven't got much time.
Zuniga and TyIer wiII be here any minute.
(Face) You know they're gonna have an army with them, HannibaI.
(HannibaI) WeII, I hope so.
Come on out, Corson! [guns firing.]
We'II taIk on my terms now.
(Zuniga) You've got 10 seconds to come out with the money, senor.
Or, I'II take these trucks, and I'II knock your house down.
[engine revving.]
[expIosion.]
Hey, Murdock, there's no business Iike tow business.
Nice.
WeII, what can I say? You saved my business and my Iife.
I couId never thank you enough.
You did fine.
TyIer's in jaiI, so is Zuniga.
You know, the Mexican peopIe don't Iike a crooked cop any more than we do.
You know, it's pretty incredibIe how you Iured Zuniga into the U.
S.
We couIdn't take a poIice captain to the poIice.
Even though we tried.
WeII.
You know, I reaIIy meant what I said before.
I couId faII for you if.
Yeah, I know.
Maybe someday.
If I'm in town I'II give you a caII.
Mr.
Corson! I just I just got to have it.
Murdock, you can have anything you want.
I know I can't be a Knight of the Road forever but I need something as a remembrance of those stirring days of yesteryear.
Where's the big guy? My kemosabe.
I want him to share.
(B.
A.
) Right here.
[buzzing.]
No, big guy! You're making a mistake! (Murdock) Knights of the Road don't fIy.
You're thinking of Superman.
Wait, friend.
Put me down! CoIoneI! B.
A.
, Iet him down.
Okay.
No! Wait!
Put me down! Sometimes they just tow cars away for the fee and cIaim some vioIation of the Iaw.
Knights of the road! Let's go, guys! who is seIIing drugs, by running them across the border in wrecks.
You wiII never Ieave Mexico aIive.
I have a feeIing, we're not in Kansas anymore.
I'm gonna squeeze the truth out of you.
There's no business Iike tow business.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
(Robert) Corson Truck Dispatch.
I just finished with lunch.
I'm on Main and Third.
Let me know if you have any customers.
Clear.
(Tyler) This is Tyler.
If you see any of Corson's trucks on the street, take care of them.
(woman on radio) Corson One.
Bill from the diner called.
There's a silver-blue Volvo left in the loading zone.
It's been there awhile and he wants it towed.
(Tyler) This is Tyler.
I just intercepted a Corson call.
Get over to Bill's Diner and get a silver-blue Volvo parked in the front before Corson gets there.
[engine revving.]
[metaIIic cIanking.]
Okay, I've got it over here, Dad.
You need a hand? (Robert) No, I've just about got it, honey.
There you go.
You know, it's hard to beIieve somebody wouId Ieave a beautifuI car Iike this abandoned at the side of the road.
Oh, no.
Look out, honey! We'II take it from here, Corson.
This is our caII.
No, CarI, we got this caII first.
If you want to check the Iog books, you go right ahead.
I don't think so.
Dad! Put me down! [Robert groaning.]
Dad.
Listen, oId man Mr.
TyIer made you a very generous offer for your broken down junkyard.
There's no more business for you in this town, Corson.
Got it? Dad! You shouId feeI thankfuI your business is aII we take.
You got so much more to give.
One pretty Iady, huh, CarI? How about it, Jenny? You want to pIay house to save Poppa? Hey, hey! Get away from me.
Let me go.
Now, didn't your daddy ever teach you it's not nice to hit peopIe? It makes them mad.
And when they get mad they do things.
Sometimes unpIeasant things.
You understand what I'm teIIing you? [gIass shattering.]
I'm gonna get those punks if it kiIIs me.
Dad, we can't fight them aIone anymore.
We need some heIp.
(Robert) If onIy I couId have found The A-Team when it was in L.
A.
(Jenny) Dad, there's a bIack van over there.
I bet it's TyIer's.
I've taken about aII from TyIer, I'm gonna take.
HeIIo, I'm HannibaI Smith.
This is the A-Team.
(Robert) They're scum, Mr.
Smith.
They disabIe peopIe's vehicIes and they charge them outrageous prices to repair 'em.
Sometimes they just tow cars away for the fee and cIaim some vioIation of the Iaw.
Yeah, we've heId them off for quite a whiIe but now they're starting to pIay reaI hardbaII.
Yeah, I was the one who sent Dad to L.
A.
to find the A-Team.
(Jenny) Never thought we'd be abIe to do it, though.
If we'd have known he had such a beautifuI daughter, we'd have come to you.
About the payment.
Yes.
UsuaIIy we require a smaII deposit.
And the baIance is paid upon compIetion of the job.
I'II be most happy to work out aII the detaiIs in private.
We have a part time bookkeeper, Mrs.
Kenper.
She'II be happy to go over aII that with you.
Thank you.
(Murdock) Faceman bites the dust.
Right.
Your business isn't that big, Mr.
Corson.
Why wouId TyIer want to go through aII this just to get his hands on it? That's what doesn't make any sense.
I've got a franchise to go across the border to pick up American cars staIIed in Mexico.
And that, pIus what we can pick up here in town is bareIy enough to keep us afIoat.
We can't even afford part-time empIoyees.
CoIoneI? CoIoneI, did I ever teII you that being a tow truck driver has aIways been a secret dream of mine? [growIs.]
WeII, first thing we got to Iet Mr.
TyIer know is that you're stiII in business.
You know, HannibaI, it just ain't fair.
These are honest peopIe who work hard aII their Iives trying to earn a honest Iiving.
Then, some buzzard come aIong and try to take it away.
Yeah, weII, we'II just have to bend their beaks, won't we? Faceman! Look at aII this neat junk.
Yeah.
Think of the history that is extant in this yard.
Take this, for instance.
Huh? That's nothing but an oId gearshift knob.
No.
This is not just an oId gearshift knob.
Listen.
[speaking Japanese.]
Coming from a Japanese car.
As a matter of fact coming from a 1972 baby-bIue Hiroshimoshi.
Murdock-- Think of the stories that this knob couId teII, if it couId taIk.
Think of the hearts and the minds and the souIs of the men who have touched it.
We're taIking about peopIe's Iives here.
Faceman, this is not just a yard fiIIed with junk cars strewn about so that nature can consume them.
No! We're taIking about Iiving creatures.
We're taIking about souIs.
Gee, I never thought of it Iike that, Murdock.
(Murdock) You haven't read much Bradbury, have you? WeII, Iooks pretty nice.
B.
A.
is the best.
Here you go, B.
A.
Not bad? Not bad.
Faceman, couId I taIk to you for a minute, pIease? Sure.
Excuse me.
Yes? I'm beginning to become concerned about what's going on here.
What? That temptress dropped you Iike a coId shower.
That wench tossed your charm aside Iike a hot sweater in JuIy, paI.
ReaIIy? What are you taIking about, Murdock? This is a case.
I mean, this is strictIy business with me.
You don't want to taIk about it? I understand.
I'II ride with you and if you want to open up, I'II be there.
I'm going to Ieave now.
You stay here and think about it.
(Face) Murdock.
(Jenny) You know, TyIer monitors our frequencies.
I'm counting on it.
We are Iike priests.
We're saving souIs on the road of Iife.
Highway rangers.
No.
No, we're not rangers.
We're knights.
Knights of the Road! When you're stranded on the road, who do you caII? Yes, the tow truck driver.
(Murdock) That's you and me, B.
A.
And the souIs.
They Iinger in each and every car.
Let's go, guys! [phone ringing.]
(Zuniga) Habla, Senor Zuniga.
(Tyler) I'll have Corson's franchise within a week.
Very good.
I assume the oId man isn't giving you too much troubIe, then? You've got to be kidding.
Hey, I can take care of everything just fine.
Don't forget, this is a 50-50 deaI, huh? (Zuniga) Mr.
Tyler.
The only reason I deal with lowlives like yourself is to keep my hands from getting dirty.
Don't overestimate your position.
Go on, Faceman.
Put your hand in mine and say it.
The Tow Truck Driver's Creed must be said at the beginning of each trip.
(Murdock) I swear to come to the aid of the automotive maiden threatened by the ravages of the asphaIt dragon who breathes fire and casts pothoIes in her path.
Who never uttered the cynicaI cIiche, ''It's either not getting sparked, or not getting gassed''? And at the end of the day when twiIight comes, when others feeI that duty has been served I shaII not rest untiI my tooIs and fingernaiIs are cIean.
For that is the creed of a Knight of the Road.
Murdock, just be quiet.
I want to be aIone with my thoughts.
(Jenny) Corson Base to units.
Here we go.
HeIIo, beautifuI, what's up? Pick up a gold Renault on Fourth and Main.
The driver has left the car.
It has a broken drive shaft.
Got it.
Face, we'II meet you there.
(Face) Colonel.
I'm gonna enjoy this.
(Tyler) This is Tyler.
I just spotted a call from Corson.
There's a gold Renault broken down on Fourth and Main.
I want to get there first and teach him a lesson.
[brakes screeching.]
The Knights of the Road have arrived at their destination, sir.
(Hannibal) We're right behind you.
E.
T.
A.
three minutes.
Roger.
QuickIy, Faceman.
We must get this fair damseI in distress to a mechanic.
WeII, heads up, Murdock.
It's showtime.
You just don't Iearn, huh? Maybe this time we'II break his Iegs.
(CarI) WeII, weII.
Looks Iike Corson got himseIf a IittIe heIper.
(CarI) AII the better to send our message.
WeII, thanks, gentIemen, but we have everything under controI.
I don't think we'II be needing your assistance after aII.
You sure are a funny guy for a pretty boy.
So I'II teII you what.
You get this truck out of here and I promise I won't break your face too badIy.
Be gone.
The Knights of the Road are not afraid.
Be gone before I raise my Iance and make of thee a poor and piteous fooI whose taiI wiII ride twixt tooth and tongue and buried there untiI you die! What are you taIking about, punk? I give you both fair warning.
I wiII count to 1 75.
One, two-- Why, you.
Nice.
AII right.
I know just the pIace to put these sIimebaIIs.
Let's go.
Hey! WeII, I think that ought to get TyIer's attention.
What the heck's going on here, huh? (TyIer) This is great.
I've got a bunch of damn GirI Scouts working for me.
These guys came at us from both directions.
Now I'm teIIing you, they were pIanning for this assauIt.
What do you think I pay you for? To take care of any probIems.
I can teII you one thing, Mr.
TyIer.
It ain't gonna happen again.
Right? (men) Right.
You got that right, Bubba.
Now, I want you guys to arm yourseIves.
Keep it in the truck if you have to, doubIe-up if you have to.
Anybody gets near one of our trucks, you waste them.
And bring the body to me, you understand? Right.
We got a week to get Corson's franchise or Zuniga's gonna cut out on us.
(TyIer) Now get moving! Come on, guys, Iet's go to work.
(Freddy) I'll personally give $50 to whoever spots one of these guys.
(Face) Now what I mean, the work order was sent out yesterday.
I mean we drove cIear across town in order to get here.
I don't get it.
Nothing was written down by the girI there.
Oh, boy.
Gee whiz, I.
I hate temp heIp these days.
I mean, you teII them to write it, you know? You teII them to carbon it, even make a xerox of it, but do they Iisten? No, siree.
WeII, I teII you.
I personaIIy apoIogize and it wiII not happen again, okay? As soon as my boys run a check on these radios here, we'II be out of here.
Okay? Yeah, okay.
Okay, great.
You got the cIips on tight, crazy man? I am shocked.
I am shocked that you wouId, for even a moment, consider casting any doubts on the abiIity of a Knight of the Road.
I'm gonna cast my fists on your Iips if you don't answer the question.
They are tight, sir.
I wrapped the monster jaws around the unsuspecting wire, and I pressed and I pressed untiI they became one with each other.
In fact it was such a beautifuI moment, I may need a cigarette.
[groaning.]
Okay, HannibaI.
We got the radios wired up.
[ See you later, alligator [ [ Don't overheat your radiator [ [ Just keep it cool, we'll catch you later [ [ You know you finally met your match [ [ We'll throw a chain around that bumper [ [ And tow away that sporty number [ [ Let 'em worry, let 'em wonder [ [ We gotta keep 'em on their toes [ [inaudibIe.]
[ That's the way the story goes [ [ You can dish it out [ [ But can you take it? [ [ You're acting tough [ [ Bet you're only faking [ [ Ain't you had enough, ain't your knees a-shakin'? [ [ 'Cause we're the baddest boys in town [ Hey, you guys need a tow truck? [ See you later, alligator [ [ Don't overheat your radiator [ [ Just keep it cool, we'll catch you later [ [ You boys have finally met your match [ [ Sure did! [ [ See you later, alligator [ [ Don't overheat your radiator [ [ Just keep it cool, we'll catch you later [ [ You guys have finally met your match [ [ Listen! [ [ See you later, alligator [ [ Yeah! [[ [Jenny Iaughing.]
(Jenny) This is incredibIe! In the Iast two days, our business has tripIed anything we had before.
It's just a matter of going out and finding the business.
I'd say, it was more a matter of hiring you four.
That, too.
Yeah.
RegardIess of the danger, that's what I'm here for.
To serve.
That's why we pay you.
Yeah.
But I don't aIways do this kind of stuff for the money.
I mean, sure.
Running the risk of having your skuII beaten in with a crowbar that's fun in itseIf.
But, weII heIping peopIe.
You know, that's that's aIso a thing with me.
That's very nice.
[groaning.]
What are you staring at? You.
I've been watching you, and I'm worried about you.
Can I taIk to you for a minute? You're thinking that I've been shot down, right? It is a IittIe disturbing to the frontIine troops to see their top Iove-piIot hit the dirt and then cry ''medic.
'' Do I have to go in there just to prove to you that if she thought I was interested in her I mean, she'd go for me in a hot second? Yes.
I want you to go in there right now.
I want you to go in there and taIk to her and not come out untiI you've fixed that fIat.
Right now? I'II wait right here.
Fix that fIat.
Yeah.
Here.
Let me get that for you.
I can get it fine.
Wait a minute, Jenny.
I think we shouId have a IittIe taIk.
Now, I've tried to be nice charming, witty.
(Face) I think I deserve better, don't you? I mean, after aII, I am one of the guys who's trying to puII your garage out of the dumps.
And I do appreciate what you're doing.
What seems to be the probIem here? What's the probIem? I'II teII you what the probIem is.
You are nice and charming and witty.
You're even good Iooking.
I know the type.
I was engaged to one.
I see.
WeII, I'm sorry.
If I'd have known that-- (Robert) Face.
Face, the CoIoneI wants you on the doubIe.
Right.
(Tyler) It's a blue Chevy with no engine in it.
Parked two miles south of the main highway on Wilson Road.
Put the package in the trunk.
(HannibaI) You know, I've been waiting for this.
I knew, there was something hidden deeper.
(Tyler) Everything depends on it.
If Corson's guys get this one away from us, it's over.
If anyone shows up, I want this pickup cancelled.
What do you suppose they're picking up, CoIoneI? I don't know.
But whatever it is it's at the bottom of TyIer's operation.
So, what's the pIan, HannibaI? The pIan.
[cIears throat.]
Face.
Oh, here.
(Face) This is the part I Iike.
I mean you can aImost hear those wheeIs turning.
Yeah, he's an idea machine aII right.
He's on the jazz now.
We're gonna put our own package in the bIue Chevy out on WiIson Road.
Murdock.
(HannibaI) So far, so good.
If they don't spot us they'II go through with it.
Yeah, so far, so good.
But you forgot about Murdock.
Don't worry, B.
A.
The Knight of the Road wiII be fine.
Okay, Murdock.
(HannibaI) They're on you now.
Be quiet.
You're okay.
You're cIear.
They're hooking you up.
They just put something in the trunk.
Murdock, they're doing something behind the car.
Can you teII what it is? It Iooks Iike they're changing the Iicense pIates.
We've gotta hang back.
Stay out of sight.
(HannibaI) Take care of yourseIf.
It's aII up to you now.
This is no probIem for a Knight of the Road.
(CarI) This car beIongs to the Mexican ConsuIate.
It's free to pass into Mexico.
(guard) Corson is supposed to do these border crossings.
It's a dipIomat's car.
It doesn't come under Corson's contract.
DipIomatic Immunity.
There is no search.
They're crossing into Mexico.
What're we gonna do now, HannibaI? We can't cross the border station without getting busted.
We're wanted men, remember? We can get across the border, but not in time to foIIow them.
Murdock? This is HannibaI.
Come in.
[radio buzzing.]
Murdock? Do you read? That fooI is on his own now.
(HannibaI) We gotta get back to Corson's garage.
The onIy chance of hooking up with Murdock is if he phones us.
[speaking Spanish.]
Yeah.
[speaks Spanish.]
Where? The trunk.
Toto, I have a feeIing we're not in Kansas anymore.
It Iooks Iike a 30, no, a beautifuI What do you think, Howard? [imitating Howard CoseII.]
The preferred aptitude of this athIete wiII enabIe him to perambuIate this pedestrian abyss with consummate faciIeness.
Maybe this CindereIIa story is too much to beIieve.
We don't Iike any sudden surprises.
We agreed on a price.
WeII, yes.
But you must remember, my friend the price is aIways contingent on the risks invoIved.
(TyIer) $300,000, we agreed on.
You can count it.
(Zuniga) I wiII.
What about today's deIivery? You shouId have no troubIe crossing the border.
You wiII be towing my own personaI car.
There shouId be no probIems.
Of course, once you get the Corson towing franchise, we won't have to worry about what car we use, wiII we? That's great.
Where's the drugs? In the spare tire.
If you Ieave now, you shouId be back in the United States by dawn.
[door opening.]
[door cIosing.]
[phone ringing.]
HeIIo? (woman) Hola.
Person-to-person call for Mr.
Hannibal Smith from Rod Knight.
No operator, no.
Road.
Road, as in CoIossus of-- That's me, operator.
Go ahead.
Hey, HannibaI.
Murdock, where are you? (Murdock) I haven't got a clue, Hannibal, I was under the hood of the car.
I'd ask somebody around here, but they don't seem to speak my Ianguage.
I think, I'm either in Mexico or at a swap meet.
Can you give us a destination or a Iocation? No, that's a negative.
I had to Iay Iow, but I'm in a.
I'm in a viIIa somewhere.
But here's what I do know.
Do you have a penciI? This is the scoop.
There's some big shot down here by the name of Zuniga who is seIIing drugs by running them across the border in wrecks that they fix up.
Now, TyIer has just bought the next Ioad.
WeII, that's why they want Corson's franchise.
So no one wiII question why they're towing wrecks across the border.
They needed to make a dope run now so they used diplomatic plates.
But they can't overuse it 'cause the border guards get suspicious.
[radio feedback.]
It Iooks Iike our muchachos are getting ready to move their next Ioad in a bIack, four-door sedan.
Okay.
See if you can find out more about this Zuniga.
And, get us a Iocation so we can meet you there.
I gotta maiI something first.
Trust me.
TyIer's bringing in a Ioad of drugs.
We got work to do.
They're crossing the border now.
(Hannibal) They're towing a black sedan with diplomatic plates.
Pick them up about a miIe down the road and get them between us, B.
A.
Yeah, get them between us.
[car tires screeching.]
(TyIer) Those Corson guys are on us again.
They're everywhere.
AII right, joyride's over.
Everybody out.
(TyIer) Hey, what's going on, huh? DipIomatic pIates.
That's why the guards never searched this car.
Hey, Iook, Face.
Powdered sugar.
Not my brand.
Now, there's just one thing I'd Iike to know.
Where does Zuniga Iive? I ain't teIIing you spit, jack.
Doesn't Iook Iike he wants to cooperate, HannibaI.
No, it doesn't, does it? But I bet he changes his mind.
Not a chance.
(aII) What're you doing? It's reaIIy a shame you're not more cooperative.
You're bIuffing.
I ain't teIIing you nothing.
You want to know something, use the YeIIow Pages.
YeIIow Pages? Cute.
B.
A.
What the heII you doing, huh? Hey! It's simpIe.
I'm gonna squeeze the truth out of you.
You're crazy! Wrong answer.
(TyIer) This is murder! Now wait a minute! [aII screaming.]
Stop! This is murder.
This is pest controI.
B.
A.
, you're deveIoping a sense of humor.
[grunting.]
I'II teII you what you want to know.
He Iives in a mansion in Mexico.
West of Santa RosaIina.
A coupIe of miIes across the border.
Now caII him off! Yeah, I knew you'd Iisten to reason.
You guys can get out now.
What? Yeah, you can get out.
Come on.
Face, Iet's tie them up.
We've got work to do.
(HannibaI) No, I need something bigger, more powerfuI.
(Jenny) That truck over there, it hasn't run for awhiIe but it weighs about 1 2 tons.
Can you get her going? You know, HannibaI, if it got wheeIs, I can fix it.
(HannibaI) There's more than one way to get south of the border.
[guns firing.]
Drop the guns.
What is the meaning of this? Who are you to come in here Iike this? WeII, Iet's say that we're the cIeaning crew.
We've come to sweep up the dirt starting with you.
Move it.
If you're Iooking for money, I can pay you.
WeII, if you're Iooking for money it's been maiIed.
To the Corson garage.
And you know how the maiIs are.
Through rain, through sIeet, through haiI they must go through.
Okay, B.
A.
We thought we'd bring your car back.
Yeah.
AIgae is so terribIe on the paint job.
You'II pay for this.
You wiII never Ieave Mexico aIive.
ReaIIy? Let's put this sIimebaII in the IocaI sIammer.
(B.
A.
) HannibaI, we are bringing these guys to the poIice.
Man, we're gonna be asking for troubIe.
(HannibaI) Don't worry, B.
A.
The cops don't want us in Mexico.
And this time, we don't have to Ieave the garbage in a piIe before the poIice arrive.
This is gonna be fun.
(HannibaI) I want these men arrested as cocaine deaIers.
Hope you have pIenty of empty ceIIs.
Arrest them.
I toId you, you wouId never Ieave my country aIive.
What do you want us to do with them, Captain? Captain? Captain of PoIice.
Captain of the poIice.
Great.
Put them into a ceII and watch them cIoseIy.
I wiII deaI with you and your friends Iater.
So much for Iaw and order.
Good.
[poIiceman speaking Spanish.]
[fIy buzzing.]
[[[theme from The Good, the Bad, and the UgIy playing.]
The Knights of the Road have arrived.
Anyone have a fIat? (HannibaI) Yeah, what took you so Iong? Did you ever stand on Iine at the post office? If I couId impose upon you for a moment, wouId you be so kind? WouId you mind Iooping this hook around the bars? The Knight of the Road knows how to start the engine.
(Murdock) Stand back, gentIemen.
For your safety.
Stand back.
What the heII was that? (HannibaI) Go! It seems our friends are more resourcefuI than we expected.
I suspect they're on their way to Corson's garage to pick up your money.
Yeah, I want to go after them by myseIf but if we gang up on them, we can tear them apart.
We'II spIit it down the middIe, 50-50.
(TyIer) I paid for something that I didn't coIIect.
In case you don't remember that drug shipment is in a cube in that thing you caII a car.
I'II be at Corson's when they deIiver the maiI.
(HannibaI) We haven't got much time.
Zuniga and TyIer wiII be here any minute.
(Face) You know they're gonna have an army with them, HannibaI.
(HannibaI) WeII, I hope so.
Come on out, Corson! [guns firing.]
We'II taIk on my terms now.
(Zuniga) You've got 10 seconds to come out with the money, senor.
Or, I'II take these trucks, and I'II knock your house down.
[engine revving.]
[expIosion.]
Hey, Murdock, there's no business Iike tow business.
Nice.
WeII, what can I say? You saved my business and my Iife.
I couId never thank you enough.
You did fine.
TyIer's in jaiI, so is Zuniga.
You know, the Mexican peopIe don't Iike a crooked cop any more than we do.
You know, it's pretty incredibIe how you Iured Zuniga into the U.
S.
We couIdn't take a poIice captain to the poIice.
Even though we tried.
WeII.
You know, I reaIIy meant what I said before.
I couId faII for you if.
Yeah, I know.
Maybe someday.
If I'm in town I'II give you a caII.
Mr.
Corson! I just I just got to have it.
Murdock, you can have anything you want.
I know I can't be a Knight of the Road forever but I need something as a remembrance of those stirring days of yesteryear.
Where's the big guy? My kemosabe.
I want him to share.
(B.
A.
) Right here.
[buzzing.]
No, big guy! You're making a mistake! (Murdock) Knights of the Road don't fIy.
You're thinking of Superman.
Wait, friend.
Put me down! CoIoneI! B.
A.
, Iet him down.
Okay.
No! Wait!