The Wonder Years s03e20 Episode Script
Goodbye
Teachers never die.
They live in your memory forever.
They were there when you arrived, they were there when you left.
Like fixtures.
Once in a while they taught you something.
But not that often.
And, you never really knew them, any more than they knew you.
Still, for a while, you believed in them.
And, if you were lucky, maybe there was one who believed in you.
To find the quotient plus the remainder, you divide the polynomials.
We shall find that Mr.
Collins wasn't your average teacher.
He was more like a force of nature.
He was kind of a mathematical whirlwind - a tornado of chalk.
He was full of surprises.
Alright And, he never let up.
Who can give me the quotient? No.
No anybody else? Sure he was tough, but you had to respect him, and you wanted him to respect you, too.
At least I did.
Mr.
Arnold.
Correct.
Heh-heh.
And the remainder? Uh six? The answer is 12Y+3.
OK - so I wasn't exactly God's gift to polynomials.
But I was doing my best, and Collins knew it.
At least, I think he did.
For you r homework study Unit 17, Section 4.
These are your last week's quizzes, please pass them back.
After all, we'd been through alot, the old man and I.
We had a history.
And the fact is, thanks to him, I'd brought myself from a "D" to a "C", a respectable "C".
Nothing wrong with that.
Darn it! Unless, of course, you happen to be Paul Pfeiffer.
What's wrong with him? I'll tell you what's wrong - this! An "A"?! You got an "A" in Collins' advanced class? It's not an "A".
It's an "A -".
I blew it.
Now with anyone else this might seem like bragging - but Paul wasn't a braggart.
"A"'s just came to him - like hives.
Bet you could just kick yourself.
Lay off, Hobson.
I'm gonna tape this to my locker door as a warning.
One little boner and the whole academic year goes right down - Paul? What's this? Oh, just something Collins wrote.
Mr.
Collins wrote that? Yeah, why? Nothing Does he do that often? Sometimes.
Doesn't he do that with you? Oh, sure! Once in awhile.
If by "once in awhile" you meant "never".
Mr.
Collins? Mr.
Arnold.
I was just wondering, about how you thought I was doing.
I mean, generally.
Overall.
In math.
There! Clean and quick.
One simple "Good job!" and I'd be on my way.
Let's check According to my records, you've been getting "C"'s.
Is that correct? Well yes.
Was there anything else? Well no, except Would you say I'm doing well? Or not so well? How do you feel you're doing? Penalty! Answering a question with a question - five yards, loss of down.
Well I guess "C"'s are better than "D"'s even though they're not as good as "B"'s or "A"'s.
I see.
Thank you for sharing that with me.
Sure, anytime! Take your seats and open your text books to Unit 17.
Anything else? No.
Nothing.
Nope, nothin' at all.
Except that night, I couldn't get it out of my mind.
How's it coming there, sport? Uh fine.
Heard you brought home a quiz.
Yeah.
Another "C".
Uh, well, there's nothing to be ashamed of there.
Right? Right, Dad.
But suddenly, for some reason, that respectable "C" didn't feel so respectable.
These are the results of Tuesday's quizzes.
"B"! I got a "B"! Your mid-term exam will be two weeks from tomorrow.
I suggest you begin studying for it now.
But who cared about two weeks from now? This was a red-letter day.
Mr.
Collins? Yes? Ta-da! A "B"! Yes.
I know.
Ta-da! That was it? What was it gonna take here? The next morning I showed up early for school.
Mr.
Collins? It was time for a talk, no holds barred - mano a mano.
I've been thinking about what you asked me, Mr.
Arnold.
You have? I believe I understand.
OK, then.
No hard feelings.
Let 'em come - the kudos, the accolades And, I think I can help.
I beg you pardon? There's not much time.
We can start this afternoon.
Naturally, one or two questions sprang to mind.
Start what? Preparing for your mid-term examination.
We have two weeks and a lot of ground to cover.
But I didn't say anything about an exam! We can work in the afternoon, after school.
Wait a minute! Heck, all I wanted here was a little applause for a job well done, and he's giving me - An opportunity to do your best.
Isn't that why you came to me? You said a "C" is better than a "D", but not as good as an "A".
Well, sure, but I didn't mean that - I think you can get that "A", Mr.
Arnold.
And I think you want to.
An "A"? In math? And suddenly it was clear - the man had completely lost his mind.
Look - Let me know what you decide.
Mr.
Collins? I'll never be an "A" student.
That's up to you, Mr.
Arnold.
Well, like I said, the man was full of surprises.
It was almost laughable.
Hey, Kev! Hey.
After all, I was no Paul Pfeiffer.
I mean, one "B" on one quiz, maybe, but let's not go overboard.
When do we start? And so, I stepped into the whirlwind.
Every day after school, Mr.
Collins and I met to accomplish the improbable.
What law do we apply? The com mutative law.
- Not in this case.
The commutative law says If not the impossible.
Not that I really believed I was gonna ace that exam Still for some reason Mr.
Collins seemed sure I could do it.
And if he believed it, well, maybe anything was possible.
But it wasn't all hard work.
It was something more.
It was the man himself.
I liked him.
I was getting to know him, and he was getting to know me.
We never talked about anything personal.
We didn't have to.
That's correct, Mr.
Arnold.
Talking math was enough.
And I was actually beginning to consider the chance I might not get massacred on that- Mr.
Collins?! Mr.
Arnold.
I thought you we're supposed to - I'm afraid I can't make it today.
I have an appointment.
Oh.
"An appointment"? Was he joking? The test was Friday, and he has an appointment? Well, then, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm afraid I won't be here tomorrow either.
Oh.
Jeez, the guy sure looked in a hurry to get out of there.
Maybe he robbed a cash-register or something.
We still have six more units to cover.
I'm afraid you'll have to prepare on your own, Mr.
Arnold.
You still have functions and real numbers to review.
Ah, that's units twelve, through, uh I can't do those units on my own! I suggest you try.
They will be on the examination.
Look, Mr.
Collins This whole thing was your idea.
You We kind a had a deal.
Didn't we? I'm sorry, I have to go.
I'll be back for the exam on Friday.
Wait! I felt betrayed.
Here I was, practically begging for the man to help And the man was throwing me an anvil for a life-jacket.
I - But there was nothing more to say, except for one thing.
I thought you were my friend.
Not your friend, Mr.
Arnold.
Your teacher.
Oh And that was that - in spades.
The big kiss-off.
And I was left with nothing.
Nothing but rage.
Put your books on the floor, and your pencils on your desk.
By the day of the test I'd made up my mind.
I knew what I had to do.
You have the entire period to complete the exam.
Begin.
OK, then.
Time to get to work.
Your time is up.
Please bring your exams to the desk.
Mr.
Arnold.
Kevin But I wasn't buyin' it.
He'd said it was up to me.
So I made my choice.
An "F".
A perfectly respectable "F".
Course I was pretty proud of myself, all afternoon, and well into prime-time that night.
After that, well I guess you could say it was one of the longer weekends in my life.
I'd watched enough "Victory at Sea" re-runs to sink a ship.
I need to speak to Mr.
Collins.
Please.
Just a moment.
OK.
So I felt bad.
For me, for Collins.
After all, he probably had a good reason for - Arnold.
Can I help you? I'm, uh, looking for Mr.
Collins.
I'm afraid he's not here.
Well, could I leave him a message? Sure.
Set up a pow-wow, formal peace talks anything.
Um Mr.
Collins passed away this morning.
He, uh he was at home.
We just got the bad news.
He's been not well for awhile.
It was his heart.
I'm sorry to have to break the news to you, now.
I'll be making a formal announcement later in the day.
Meanwhile, I'll be taking over most of his classes.
My, my - another ace.
Hey, it's none of your business.
Give it back! Come on - it's mine.
I heard the new, uh Advanced math teacher is a chick.
Planning on becoming the new teacher's pet? Very funny, Hobson.
She happens to be very smart.
She needs a little work on her delivery, but Oh, I bet.
What do you know? Will you guys just knock it off? You're such clowns.
Oooooh, ooooh.
Hey! Gentlemen?! What's going on here? Nothing.
It's nothing.
See me in my classroom Three o'clock.
Sharp.
It was about the last place on earth I wanted to be at that moment.
Something odd has occurred.
Perhaps you can shed some light on it.
And somehow I knew, as soon as I saw that envelope.
Mid-term examinations.
All of them.
All of them, that is except yours.
What? Apparently, Mr.
Collins graded these tests the weekend that, uh Well, in any event, it seems yours was misplaced.
Oh The question now is what do we do about it.
You need a grade.
Do you have any suggestions? No, sir.
Well Collins did.
Fifty minutes, Arnold.
You may begin.
As I took that test, I thought about a lot of things.
About how I knew him, and yet, I didn't.
About how he treated me like a man, and how I'd acted like a child.
About how I let him down, and now I wouldn't.
The thing is, even though I could almost feel him in the room, I knew I didn't need him for the answers - or the praise.
I was on my own, now.
You don't have to grade it.
It's an "A".
Mr.
Arnold.
Good job, Mr.
Collins.
"Goodbye My Friend" = by Linda Rondstadt = ¢ÝOh we never know where life will take us¢Ý ¢ÝI know it's just a ride on the wheel¢Ý ¢ÝAnd we never know when death will shake us ¢Ý ¢ÝAnd we wonder how it will feel ¢Ý ¢ÝSo goodbye my friend ¢Ý ¢ÝI know I'll never see you again ¢Ý ¢ÝBut the time together through all the years ¢Ý ¢ÝWill take away these tears ¢Ý ¢ÝIt's okay now ¢Ý ¢ÝGoodbye my friend ¢Ý ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
iamy1004
They live in your memory forever.
They were there when you arrived, they were there when you left.
Like fixtures.
Once in a while they taught you something.
But not that often.
And, you never really knew them, any more than they knew you.
Still, for a while, you believed in them.
And, if you were lucky, maybe there was one who believed in you.
To find the quotient plus the remainder, you divide the polynomials.
We shall find that Mr.
Collins wasn't your average teacher.
He was more like a force of nature.
He was kind of a mathematical whirlwind - a tornado of chalk.
He was full of surprises.
Alright And, he never let up.
Who can give me the quotient? No.
No anybody else? Sure he was tough, but you had to respect him, and you wanted him to respect you, too.
At least I did.
Mr.
Arnold.
Correct.
Heh-heh.
And the remainder? Uh six? The answer is 12Y+3.
OK - so I wasn't exactly God's gift to polynomials.
But I was doing my best, and Collins knew it.
At least, I think he did.
For you r homework study Unit 17, Section 4.
These are your last week's quizzes, please pass them back.
After all, we'd been through alot, the old man and I.
We had a history.
And the fact is, thanks to him, I'd brought myself from a "D" to a "C", a respectable "C".
Nothing wrong with that.
Darn it! Unless, of course, you happen to be Paul Pfeiffer.
What's wrong with him? I'll tell you what's wrong - this! An "A"?! You got an "A" in Collins' advanced class? It's not an "A".
It's an "A -".
I blew it.
Now with anyone else this might seem like bragging - but Paul wasn't a braggart.
"A"'s just came to him - like hives.
Bet you could just kick yourself.
Lay off, Hobson.
I'm gonna tape this to my locker door as a warning.
One little boner and the whole academic year goes right down - Paul? What's this? Oh, just something Collins wrote.
Mr.
Collins wrote that? Yeah, why? Nothing Does he do that often? Sometimes.
Doesn't he do that with you? Oh, sure! Once in awhile.
If by "once in awhile" you meant "never".
Mr.
Collins? Mr.
Arnold.
I was just wondering, about how you thought I was doing.
I mean, generally.
Overall.
In math.
There! Clean and quick.
One simple "Good job!" and I'd be on my way.
Let's check According to my records, you've been getting "C"'s.
Is that correct? Well yes.
Was there anything else? Well no, except Would you say I'm doing well? Or not so well? How do you feel you're doing? Penalty! Answering a question with a question - five yards, loss of down.
Well I guess "C"'s are better than "D"'s even though they're not as good as "B"'s or "A"'s.
I see.
Thank you for sharing that with me.
Sure, anytime! Take your seats and open your text books to Unit 17.
Anything else? No.
Nothing.
Nope, nothin' at all.
Except that night, I couldn't get it out of my mind.
How's it coming there, sport? Uh fine.
Heard you brought home a quiz.
Yeah.
Another "C".
Uh, well, there's nothing to be ashamed of there.
Right? Right, Dad.
But suddenly, for some reason, that respectable "C" didn't feel so respectable.
These are the results of Tuesday's quizzes.
"B"! I got a "B"! Your mid-term exam will be two weeks from tomorrow.
I suggest you begin studying for it now.
But who cared about two weeks from now? This was a red-letter day.
Mr.
Collins? Yes? Ta-da! A "B"! Yes.
I know.
Ta-da! That was it? What was it gonna take here? The next morning I showed up early for school.
Mr.
Collins? It was time for a talk, no holds barred - mano a mano.
I've been thinking about what you asked me, Mr.
Arnold.
You have? I believe I understand.
OK, then.
No hard feelings.
Let 'em come - the kudos, the accolades And, I think I can help.
I beg you pardon? There's not much time.
We can start this afternoon.
Naturally, one or two questions sprang to mind.
Start what? Preparing for your mid-term examination.
We have two weeks and a lot of ground to cover.
But I didn't say anything about an exam! We can work in the afternoon, after school.
Wait a minute! Heck, all I wanted here was a little applause for a job well done, and he's giving me - An opportunity to do your best.
Isn't that why you came to me? You said a "C" is better than a "D", but not as good as an "A".
Well, sure, but I didn't mean that - I think you can get that "A", Mr.
Arnold.
And I think you want to.
An "A"? In math? And suddenly it was clear - the man had completely lost his mind.
Look - Let me know what you decide.
Mr.
Collins? I'll never be an "A" student.
That's up to you, Mr.
Arnold.
Well, like I said, the man was full of surprises.
It was almost laughable.
Hey, Kev! Hey.
After all, I was no Paul Pfeiffer.
I mean, one "B" on one quiz, maybe, but let's not go overboard.
When do we start? And so, I stepped into the whirlwind.
Every day after school, Mr.
Collins and I met to accomplish the improbable.
What law do we apply? The com mutative law.
- Not in this case.
The commutative law says If not the impossible.
Not that I really believed I was gonna ace that exam Still for some reason Mr.
Collins seemed sure I could do it.
And if he believed it, well, maybe anything was possible.
But it wasn't all hard work.
It was something more.
It was the man himself.
I liked him.
I was getting to know him, and he was getting to know me.
We never talked about anything personal.
We didn't have to.
That's correct, Mr.
Arnold.
Talking math was enough.
And I was actually beginning to consider the chance I might not get massacred on that- Mr.
Collins?! Mr.
Arnold.
I thought you we're supposed to - I'm afraid I can't make it today.
I have an appointment.
Oh.
"An appointment"? Was he joking? The test was Friday, and he has an appointment? Well, then, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm afraid I won't be here tomorrow either.
Oh.
Jeez, the guy sure looked in a hurry to get out of there.
Maybe he robbed a cash-register or something.
We still have six more units to cover.
I'm afraid you'll have to prepare on your own, Mr.
Arnold.
You still have functions and real numbers to review.
Ah, that's units twelve, through, uh I can't do those units on my own! I suggest you try.
They will be on the examination.
Look, Mr.
Collins This whole thing was your idea.
You We kind a had a deal.
Didn't we? I'm sorry, I have to go.
I'll be back for the exam on Friday.
Wait! I felt betrayed.
Here I was, practically begging for the man to help And the man was throwing me an anvil for a life-jacket.
I - But there was nothing more to say, except for one thing.
I thought you were my friend.
Not your friend, Mr.
Arnold.
Your teacher.
Oh And that was that - in spades.
The big kiss-off.
And I was left with nothing.
Nothing but rage.
Put your books on the floor, and your pencils on your desk.
By the day of the test I'd made up my mind.
I knew what I had to do.
You have the entire period to complete the exam.
Begin.
OK, then.
Time to get to work.
Your time is up.
Please bring your exams to the desk.
Mr.
Arnold.
Kevin But I wasn't buyin' it.
He'd said it was up to me.
So I made my choice.
An "F".
A perfectly respectable "F".
Course I was pretty proud of myself, all afternoon, and well into prime-time that night.
After that, well I guess you could say it was one of the longer weekends in my life.
I'd watched enough "Victory at Sea" re-runs to sink a ship.
I need to speak to Mr.
Collins.
Please.
Just a moment.
OK.
So I felt bad.
For me, for Collins.
After all, he probably had a good reason for - Arnold.
Can I help you? I'm, uh, looking for Mr.
Collins.
I'm afraid he's not here.
Well, could I leave him a message? Sure.
Set up a pow-wow, formal peace talks anything.
Um Mr.
Collins passed away this morning.
He, uh he was at home.
We just got the bad news.
He's been not well for awhile.
It was his heart.
I'm sorry to have to break the news to you, now.
I'll be making a formal announcement later in the day.
Meanwhile, I'll be taking over most of his classes.
My, my - another ace.
Hey, it's none of your business.
Give it back! Come on - it's mine.
I heard the new, uh Advanced math teacher is a chick.
Planning on becoming the new teacher's pet? Very funny, Hobson.
She happens to be very smart.
She needs a little work on her delivery, but Oh, I bet.
What do you know? Will you guys just knock it off? You're such clowns.
Oooooh, ooooh.
Hey! Gentlemen?! What's going on here? Nothing.
It's nothing.
See me in my classroom Three o'clock.
Sharp.
It was about the last place on earth I wanted to be at that moment.
Something odd has occurred.
Perhaps you can shed some light on it.
And somehow I knew, as soon as I saw that envelope.
Mid-term examinations.
All of them.
All of them, that is except yours.
What? Apparently, Mr.
Collins graded these tests the weekend that, uh Well, in any event, it seems yours was misplaced.
Oh The question now is what do we do about it.
You need a grade.
Do you have any suggestions? No, sir.
Well Collins did.
Fifty minutes, Arnold.
You may begin.
As I took that test, I thought about a lot of things.
About how I knew him, and yet, I didn't.
About how he treated me like a man, and how I'd acted like a child.
About how I let him down, and now I wouldn't.
The thing is, even though I could almost feel him in the room, I knew I didn't need him for the answers - or the praise.
I was on my own, now.
You don't have to grade it.
It's an "A".
Mr.
Arnold.
Good job, Mr.
Collins.
"Goodbye My Friend" = by Linda Rondstadt = ¢ÝOh we never know where life will take us¢Ý ¢ÝI know it's just a ride on the wheel¢Ý ¢ÝAnd we never know when death will shake us ¢Ý ¢ÝAnd we wonder how it will feel ¢Ý ¢ÝSo goodbye my friend ¢Ý ¢ÝI know I'll never see you again ¢Ý ¢ÝBut the time together through all the years ¢Ý ¢ÝWill take away these tears ¢Ý ¢ÝIt's okay now ¢Ý ¢ÝGoodbye my friend ¢Ý ÇϺñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ °¨»çÇÕÏÙÙ.
iamy1004