Wizards of Waverly Place s03e20 Episode Script

Good morning, students! Welcome to another fabulous day in chemistry.
This year's Thomas Dolby Science Fair Competition is coming up.
Let's go over the list of banned materials: - Gasoline.
- Ohh [thinking.]
That's right.
All you lab losers stand back 'cause Zeke and I are gonna take it again this year.
[Alex, thinking.]
Oh, I see.
In your mind they're losers and you're not.
Go away, Alex! I hate it when you use magic to listen to my thoughts.
[music blaring.]
[thinking.]
Zeke and Harper Beakerman.
[scoffs.]
No.
Zeke and Harper Finkle? [groans.]
All right.
No.
Zeke and Harper Beakle.
Ugh! OK, our kids don't need a last name.
[Alex.]
Hey, if you combined your first names it's almost Zipper.
You know what? I'm gonna take matters into my own hands and help you out.
No! Alex, stay out of this! Please don't meddle.
Fine! I won't.
See you later.
After all these years, she still thinks I'm gonna do what she asks.
[laughs.]
Well, let's see how much work I have to do on Zeke.
So if our universe is actually on a speck of dust, that speck of dust can be on another speck of dust.
And another, and another [Alex.]
This is gonna take a lot of meddling.
Hello? Who's there? * Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze * * That the end will no doubt justify the means * * You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease * * Yes, please * But you might find out it'll go to your head * * When you write a report on a book you never read * * With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed * * That's what I said * Everything is not what it seems * * When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams * * You might run into trouble if you go to extremes * * Because everything is not what it seems * * Everything is not what it seems * * When you can have what you want by the simplest of means * * Be careful not to mess with the balance of things * * Because everything is not * * What it seems * So what's even better than a food pyramid? A pyramid made of food that you can actually eat and get all your daily nutrients out of.
- Ohh! This is genius! - Yeah.
We're gonna turn this science fair into the science un-fair! - Ohh! - Ohh! - Hey, Justin.
- Hey.
I want you to dump Zeke as your partner so that I can get him to be partners with Harper.
It'll be awesome.
They'll be forced to talk and be close and Oh, my gosh, they're gonna be together forever! Zeke and I have always won the science fair together.
Like, I don't Although, you know, I always have wanted to build a car engine that runs on just water, but Zeke's too afraid.
Well, engines are loud and scary.
No, he's afraid of the water.
OK, but how do I tell Zeke without hurting his feelings? I mean, he his eyes will tear up if we get picked for different basketball teams in PE.
And then he freaks out because there's water coming out of his eyes.
It'll be fine.
I'll take care of it.
- Hmm.
- [Zeke hums, chuckles.]
Uh Hey, Zeke, um Justin doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so he asked me to ask you if it was OK that he entered this year's science fair alone.
[groans.]
I knew it! I knew that water-powered motor would someday come between us.
Darn my fear of water! Right.
Well You know who might like to be your partner for the science fair if you asked? Harper.
Harper? Yeah, I'm wanting to talk to her, but every time I build up the nerve she's by the water fountain.
Well, here, I'll hold this.
You don't want to have this while you're talking to her.
Thanks.
Oh, looks like I got me some lunch.
- Aha! - [plate breaks.]
Goodbye, old science partner.
If that water-powered engine doesn't make you happy, you know where I'll be: In the library, reading comic books.
But not Aquaman, that's for sure! So, Justin, I hear you're short a partner, huh? That's great 'cause I have been waiting to win a science fair trophy.
I hope it's one of those big silver cups so I can melt it down and make a really heavy skee-ball.
- Max, that's ridiculous.
- Yeah? Let's see how ridiculous it is when that thing busts through the back of the machine and I win a million tickets.
Hello, 2,000 spider rings.
Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex! Harper, Harper, Harper, Harper, Harper, what? Zeke asked me to be his partner for the science fair.
[gasps.]
Shut up! Really? He's gonna come over later so we can talk about our project.
I hope now you can see why I didn't want you to meddle in this relationship.
Love that's meant to be happens on its own.
Oh! Definitely.
I have learned a great lesson about how affairs of the heart need no interference.
[thinking.]
And the lesson is, how to string a bunch of words together so people don't know what you're really up to.
- [both laughing.]
- [bell dings.]
Uh, hey, guys, you ready for another lunch pocket turnover? Oh, no, thanks, Mr.
Russo.
If I have another, you're gonna have to turn me over - to a personal trainer.
- [laughing.]
Ohh! Oh, Zeke, you are so funny.
I know! - [pounding on door.]
- [Justin.]
Dad, Dad! Someone help! Open up the door! This thing's really heavy! Justin! What is that? It's an engine block for my science fair competition, and it's really heavy, and I go whichever way it goes.
- You have to help me out! - Take it out on the terrace! That's where I'm trying to go, but it's heavy! - Jerry, help him! - OK.
- [grunting.]
- [groans.]
[sighs.]
What, uh? Hey, you two.
Look like you're working on something over here.
What's, uh what's going on? Well, we're combining my love of sewing and his love of robots to combine a fully-functional robot seamstress.
- Hmm.
- Meet Ms.
Sew-boto Roboto.
Oh, wow.
It's gonna have a twin diode capacitor thermal drive? [both.]
If you know it, show it! They are actually building a Sew-boto Roboto.
If this thing's as cool as its name I am in trouble.
I gotta get to work! What?! Hey, Zeke, I really like what - [gasps.]
- Harper Harper, working on a Ms.
Sew "you know this is lame-o-boto" does not sound like a date.
It's Sew-boto Roboto, and you promised not to meddle.
Don't make me make you re-promise not to meddle.
- All right, shoes off.
Pinkie toe swear.
- No! This isn't how it's supposed to be.
You and Zeke should be out on a romantic walk in the park, holding hands.
And your heart beating so hard that you're worried he can hear it? And then he kisses you on the cheek, slow and gently.
[mimicking dance music.]
It's gonna be awesome.
Well, I guess that would be nice, - but we just have so much work to do - Zeke, get up! Come on.
You're going on a romantic walk in the park and then a slow gentle kiss on the cheek.
Go! Justin, can you hurry up and finish with the hose already? I need it for my science project.
I'm taking all the stuff that's brown and moist from under my bed and mixing it together to create life.
What's the hose for? To get the water from there into here, genius.
[scoffs.]
OK, you can't create life from old socks, egg shells, pizza crusts, and Grandma's wig.
Where's it say that? Creating life is not that simple.
- Where does it say that? - You have no idea what you're talking about.
- Where does it say that? - Wow.
You have no idea - Whaah! - Alex, stop! What? Sorry.
I had to stop this nerd-on-weird violence.
[both chuckling.]
Ooh! And then we can program Miss Sew-boto Roboto's voice to say cool things like, [robot voice.]
"I am Ms.
Sew-boto Roboto.
Stitch, mend, or sew, I am always on the go.
" [robot voice.]
"I think you are really cute.
" Robots don't have opinions.
Well, heh, maybe it wasn't a robot's opinion.
[gasping.]
[nervous chuckle.]
[both laugh nervously.]
Yeah, let's take the stuff inside - and I'll just I'll just go inside - All right.
OK, great.
Harper, what are you doing? I sent you guys out on a romantic afternoon, and you come back with robot parts? Yeah.
Isn't it amazing? Things are going great with me and Zeke.
No! You're not doing the romance thing right at all.
[scoffs.]
Not doing it right? Let's see, your longest time with a boyfriend lasted two months, and that guy ended up running into the woods to live with other wolves.
Don't get me started on the mannequin, the gearhead, and that baseball player with curly hair one day, straight hair the next.
Man, he couldn't make a decision.
Well, you wouldn't even be with Zeke if I hadn't told Justin to dump him and then ask Zeke to be your partner.
And right now, I'm kind of hoping that you're trying to think of other old boyfriends of mine so that you didn't hear what I just said.
Alex, I can't believe you broke your promise not to meddle.
Actually, I can believe you broke your promise.
What I can't believe is that I believed you wouldn't break your promise.
Hey! Wait! I'm storming inside.
No.
I'm storming inside.
- Well, I live here.
- I do, too! Oh.
- Same time, then.
- Fine! OK, when wizards need fire, they use the Sparks Fly spell.
There are no matches in the wizard world because wizard sneezes are flammable.
Oh, right, like my butt sneezes.
Now, wizards do need fire for light, heating, cooking.
Wait a minute.
Wizards can pop in any meal they want, and they still have to use fire to cook? What a waste.
Um, Theresa, you're here to observe the lesson so that you can better appreciate magic.
And your snide comments don't sound like appreciation.
They sound like Alex.
All right, let's give it a try.
Max.
Say this spell.
Zippozap zippozee zippozarum.
[Jerry chuckles.]
Now, the most important thing to remember is you can never use this spell on people.
Why not? People love cake.
It doesn't make cake.
You just [sighs.]
If you use this spell on people, it fires up their emotions, and you never know what they'll do.
Maybe they'll make cake.
Sorry I'm late.
I just got into a really huge fight with Harper, and I need to talk it out, so who's up? I would like to help, but since you were late to the lesson and Max was on time, I am gonna reward him with cake.
Come on.
Alex, I took good notes.
They're on the hamburger wrapper.
Don't read that stuff about Mom and Dad arguing.
I don't know what that was.
So you had a fight with Harper.
[groans.]
Actually I was trying to be a good friend and get her romance going with Zeke, but all they want to do is work on their stupid science project.
Alex, relationships take their own roads at their own speeds.
All that matters is that they're together.
No! That is not all that matters.
They need to be doing stuff, like trying to beat each other at Skee-Ball or throwing water balloons off the terrace.
Or driving a racecar into a giant sloppy joe.
OK, mija, I think I see what's going on.
Your idea of romance is different from Harper's, right? And I think you may be trying to relive your relationships with your old boyfriends through Harper and Zeke.
[scoffs.]
What? Mom, my old boyfriends have nothing to do with this.
I don't even think about them.
I don't even remember their names.
Riley, Dean, and Mason.
Mom, I asked you never to say their names again.
Look [sighs.]
I'm just trying to be a good friend to Harper.
Stop meddling.
[thinking.]
I'm not meddling! "Sparks fly.
" Huh.
Sounds like something that can really turn up the heat on a romance.
Now I'm meddling.
- Please.
- [engine sputters.]
Come on, start! - Start! - [sputters.]
- Start! - [sputters, whirring.]
It worked! [cackles.]
Hey, world, your energy troubles are over! - [door opens.]
- [woman.]
Great.
I'll send you my electric bill.
Now shut up, Russo! Justin, you got it running, huh? Very good, very good.
But not good enough to beat me in creating life in this barbecue.
The building blocks of life, my friend.
Burnt chicken skin.
That's right.
I'm bringing this guy back to life.
[whirring.]
- Cool! [chuckles.]
- Yes! - All right.
Ready? - Yeah.
OK.
[Zeke.]
OK.
[whirring.]
[robot beeping, clicking.]
Stitch or sew, even mend, I will be your tailor friend.
Quality is my motto.
I am Ms.
Sew-boto Roboto.
[both laugh.]
- Oh, yeah! - Yes! - [mimics robot beeps.]
- * Ooh-wa! Ooh-wa! * Ooh-wa! Ooh-wa! [laughs.]
- Oh, we are so gonna win that trophy.
- Yeah.
Harper, it's been so great working with you that if it's OK with you, when this whole thing's over we might take it to the next level? - I was thinking the same thing.
- Yeah? - Robot washing machine? - [Harper.]
Yes! OK, they definitely need some sparks.
Zippozap zippozee zippozarum.
Do you want to go for a walk? I don't care where, as long as you're with me.
That's where I want to be.
- After you.
- Thanks.
Now that's how you spark up a romance.
- [Alex.]
Hey, Max.
- Hey.
Thanks for letting me use your notes on the Sparks Fly spell.
- I really put them to good use.
- [Max.]
Yeah.
Wait, there's some warning Dad said.
- I forgot to write it down.
- Max! What was it? [sighs.]
Oh! I remember! He said never leave any cake frosting around - because it might attract ants.
- [sighs.]
- Could've been disastrous.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- Yeah? That was a really nice thing you did, letting Zeke work with Harper.
I mean, they are in the carpool lane of romance.
I mean, I'm not even gonna make fun of this huge hunk of nerd you got going on here.
This, this is a miracle.
The world's first water-powered engine.
I'll probably go down in history as the greatest inventor ever! - [laughs.]
Oh, man! - It was so funny.
You've stolen my heart.
Aww! - And you're my whole world.
- Oh, my goodness! - Oh, man.
Ohh - Hey, guys.
Looks like you're still into each other.
No thanks necessary.
Yeah.
I think our relationship is ready for something serious.
Yes! We should totally hold hands.
- OK! - OK.
- [crackling.]
- Ow! That was weird.
Seems like something we should ignore.
How about you go right for the hug? - [electrical crackle.]
- [both yell.]
What is going on with you two? Here, let's just get to the smoochin'.
Come on.
All right.
I'm here! I hope I'm not too late.
I had a hard time getting my Barbecue of Life on the subway.
[electricity crackling.]
- [explosion.]
- Whoa! Stand on a rooftop and shout it! Max Russo has created life in his primordial kettle! We have a winner! I can't get this thing off.
How am I supposed to put stuff inside it? All right, who wants it? I won! Yes! Thank you! Thank you, all of you! Justin, Justin Justin, something's wrong.
I put this spell on Harper and Zeke, and now there's lightning between them if they try to touch.
Sparks Fly? You can't use that on people.
It fires up their emotion, and anything can happen.
Harper and Zeke have become supercharged.
Oh, Max! Max! - Yeah.
- The warning on this spell wasn't about cake frosting.
You can't use it on people! Right.
Frosting on people is bad.
- Justin, what do I do? - They're positively charged.
You have to ground them with a negative charge.
Where am I gonna find a negative charge this late in the Oh, I know what you're thinking.
You have to hug them.
Fine! I get it.
I'm negative.
I'll do it, but I'm not gonna be happy about it, which will probably be better for them.
Yes.
[clicks tongue.]
[whispers.]
Shoo, fly! My dear friends.
[electricity crackles.]
[groans.]
[coughs.]
What happened? The science fair is right now? Oh, my gosh, we forgot to finish Ms.
Sew-boto Roboto! - No! - No! Why, oh, why?! [both screaming.]
Hey, what do I get for my science project on electricity? A cup? Ribbon? Somethin'? Harper? Sorry.
Can I talk to you for a second? Oh, yeah.
Oh.
[chuckles.]
Sorry.
Yeah.
I used a spell to get you guys to go out when you asked me not to meddle, and I'm sorry.
And now, I see that I used magic when I didn't have to.
The real magic is you two working together.
Aww! Thanks, Alex.
- I did land a very special boy.
- Yes.
[mimics robot sounds.]
Doin' good, babe.
- Doin' good.
- [Zeke mimicking robot.]