Family Ties (1982) s03e21 Episode Script

## I'll bet We've been together ## ## For a million years ## ## And I'll bet We'll be together ## ## For a million more ## ## Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ## ## On the night we kissed ## ## And I can't remember What I ever did before ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## And there ain't No nothin' ## ## We can't love Each other through ## ## Ooh-hoo ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## Sha-la-la-la ## I know, he's so cute.
Do you really think he likes me? Look, Jennifer, please, get off the phone, okay? I was staring at him all through lunch.
He caught me looking at him through a piece of Swiss cheese.
Jennifer, that's adorable.
Get off the phone, or I'll force-feed you the receiver.
Don't force-feed her the receiver, Alex.
Just kidding, Dad.
Where's your mother? She's upstairs with the baby.
I'm home, Elyse.
Ready to go? I'm coming.
Do you really think he's too shy to ask me? Or maybe I should ask him? I'm askin' you.
Please get off the phone.
Jen Almost finished, Dad.
So, anyway, let me tell you everything that happened.
Sounds like she's wrapping it up.
I wish your mom would get down here.
You know, between my work and her working again now, This is her, Dad, the big one.
Hello, stranger.
Long time, no see.
Well, howdy, ma'am.
Pleased to make your acquaintance once again.
How long has it been? Five years? Ten? Well, it feels like that long.
How'd you like to mosey over to my lips? Mm, reckon I will.
Mm.
Even for you guys, this is embarrassing.
Let's go, Elyse.
Uh, we don't have much time.
I can't believe you guys are takin' more pictures of the baby.
We're taking Andy to see his first sunset.
That's right.
That's right.
He's been talkin' about it all day.
Do you wanna come with us to see the sunset? No, thanks.
I don't know, I've gone this long without seein' one.
Aw, listen to him.
What does he know? Hi.
Oh, Mallory, I got to admit, Jennifer has gotten even more aggravating than you are.
I know, but he's got a great personality.
Got a nice style, still not perfect though.
Now, see how she's cradling the receiver? Her hand will cramp any minute now.
Hey.
Hey, Mallory, you're wearin' my shirt.
I am? Yeah, you are.
Look, what do you think the "APK" stands for? A pompous klown? Now, hurry up, Elyse.
We're runnin' out of time here.
Mallory, I want that shirt, and, Jennifer, I want that phone.
Alex, my happiness as a woman depends on this phone call.
Jennifer, your survival as a human being depends on you hanging up.
I'll call you back, okay, Chrissie? Mom, Dad, did you just hear what Alex said? I'm sorry.
I couldn't take it anymore.
Kids, we have to go.
Well, you can't leave now.
What should I do? Should I wait for Adam to ask me out, or should I ask him out? Jennifer, we'll talk about this later.
We will talk later.
We don't wanna miss the sunset.
We'll see you guys later.
Come on.
Elyse, the sun has already set.
Just s-stay where you are.
There'll be another one tomorrow.
Oh, listen, Gus, Elyse and I haven't been able to spend any time together lately, so I wanna take the morning off, spend it with her.
Keep an eye on the place till I get there.
Uh Well, let me make it worth your while.
Uh, you can sit at my desk, eat my mints make believe you're me.
That's not funny, Gus.
I get the phone when Dad's off.
No, come on.
I said I get to make the next call.
Kids, please.
You did not.
I did so.
I'll see you later, Gus.
Now, listen, I will not tolerate this kind of behavior when I'm on the phone.
Sorry, Dad.
Sorry, Dad.
I, uh, was hoping for something more sincere.
Sorry, Dad.
Sorry, Dad.
Unacceptable.
Now, come on, now, one time with feeling, say it with me.
Sorry, Dad.
That's better.
Now, come on, let's make this a pleasant day.
I've arranged to take most of the day off to spend with your mother.
It's a surprise for her and I don't want it ruined by you kids acting like infants, okay, Jennifer? Okay.
Okay, Alex? All right.
Jennifer.
You use that phone as long as you want.
You got 30 seconds, Keaton.
Hey, morning, Mom.
Guess you didn't get much sleep, huh? Thought I heard Andrew cryin' all night.
Alex, I slept fine from 3 to 3:15.
Otherwise, I'd be grumpy.
Alex, I'm sorry for having worn your shirt and in order to make it up to you I'm gonna wash it, okay? No, no! Mallory, no.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Come on, look, you don't even know how to use the washing machine.
I do so.
Look, "Before using this machine, "make sure it's been grounded to avoid possible electric shock.
" Show me how to do that, Alex.
Don't tempt me, Mallory.
Where are you goin', Mom? Well, Andrew hasn't been outside for a week because of his cold, so I thought I'd take him on a walk before dark.
But it's 8 in the morning.
Well, then I have no problem.
Yeah, I want to ask Adam to the dance, Chrissie, but what if he says no? Well, then what if he says yes? All right, Jennifer, your time's up.
You get off the phone now, or I'll call Adam and tell him you like him.
I'll call you right back, okay, Chrissie? That was a dirty trick, Alex.
Say, Alex.
Yeah, Dad? Have you seen your mother? Yeah, she just left.
Left? What do you mean, left? Well, she went to take Andrew for a walk.
If you hurry, you can catch 'em.
Well, I can certainly catch him.
Yeah.
Where's the baby? Oh, I put him down for a nap.
I thought you went out for a walk.
Well, Andrew and I got as far as the front sidewalk and decided we weren't alert enough to be out on the streets.
Yeah, but Dad just went out to find you.
Well, he'll be back.
Uh look after Andrew for me, will you, honey? Oh, sure.
I don't see her out there anywhere.
She just came back.
She went upstairs.
Honey, tell your dad that I've gone up to go to sleep.
He just went upstairs to look for you.
I'll meet him up there, then.
Elyse! I'm getting too old to play these games, Elyse.
I guess I was just in a playful mood.
Surprise.
I'm off till 3:00.
Today? Yeah.
I thought we could spend a few hours getting reacquainted.
Oh, well, yeah, as long as you don't mind getting reacquainted in front of Paul and Barbara Esposito.
Well, that'll be fine.
Who are they? Well, I-I'm designing a guesthouse for them.
I promised I'd bring by their plans this afternoon.
Well How about now? We could just sit around and talk.
Oh, sweetheart, I have got to go back to sleep.
Well, I'll come with you.
Maybe you'll talk in your sleep.
How about tonight? I'm not doing anything.
We could get together and go over old times.
I can't think of any flaws in that plan.
I'll see you tonight.
Okay.
So I guess I'll just, uh, call Gus, tell him I'll be comin' in.
Oh, yeah.
Good luck gettin' Jennifer off the pho Whoa! Oh.
I'm sorry I scared you.
Did you think I was somebody else? No.
I knew it was you.
Oh, uh, these are Are for you.
Oh, Steven.
Thank you.
So how was your day? Well, let's see.
First, the Espositos decided they don't want a guesthouse, they want a greenhouse.
Seems they have more plants than friends.
Then Then I came home, and Alex and Mallory were still arguing about some shirt, and And Jennifer was on this six-hour phone-athon with Chrissie.
I think the high point of my day was when Andrew spit up on me.
Well, at least we're alone now.
Yeah.
Oh, honey, it's just so nice to have a quiet moment with you.
Hello.
Uh, yes, she is.
Tell whoever it is I'll call 'em back tomorrow.
Uh, Chrissie, my wife will call you back tomorrow.
Jennifer, telephone! Thanks, Mom.
No, honey, get it downstairs.
But, Mom, Chrissie talked to Adam Galardner today and asked him if he likes me.
I just have to find that out.
Is there some reason why you can't find that out downstairs? Okay.
Chrissie, call me right back, okay? I'm getting a lot of static on this end.
Thank you.
Hi.
I just wanted you to know that Alex and I have settled our argument about the shirt.
You know, I washed it for him and everything's fine now.
We won't be bothering you anymore.
Thank you for not bothering us.
No problem.
Feel free to drop in any time.
Oh, I can stay.
No, you can't.
Well, I'll leave you two alone.
I just thought that you'd be able to relax and everything now that Alex and I settled our argument.
Mallory! Mal Mallory.
What is wrong with this picture? You're in it.
Kids, don't take this the wrong way, but get out of here now.
Oh, that's for me! Um, Mom, can I take it in here? I forgot to go downstairs.
Hi, Chrissie.
He wasn't home? Why not? Adam Galardner's getting braces.
Okay, that's it.
That Get out of here.
Now.
Out.
And then a retainer? This changes everything, Chrissie.
I'll go.
I'll go.
After all, we've been together now for a full, uh, 15 seconds.
We don't want to get into a rut.
Oh, good.
You're done talking.
Uh, yeah.
We're, uh We're all talked out.
Keep in touch.
Alex.
What? Look, I I ironed your shirt.
Mallory, look.
Come here.
This can no longer be considered a shirt.
At best, it's a It's a flag for some underdeveloped nation.
Okay, guys.
Your mom and I will be at the Garden Restaurant tonight, I wrote the number down along with a few others numbers you might need.
The Olbachs, police department, Dr.
Rappaport, Senator Metzenbaum? Only if you can't reach Dr.
Rappaport.
We'll be fine, just go out and enjoy yourself.
You're right.
You know, I should just go out for the evening, forget we even had a baby and relax, but I I can't help feeling maternal.
I'm a father.
Whoa, Mom.
You look hot.
Whoa.
Hot is not the word, Mom.
You're sizzling.
Yeah.
Well, maybe we should go before the smoke alarm goes off.
Oh, bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad.
Honey, now, Andrew's feeling better, but he still needs some medicine before he goes bed.
We know, Mom.
Okay.
Well, let me just say goodbye.
Here you go.
Okay, sweetheart, don't you wait up for us, you be a good boy for your brother and sisters, okay? Good night, baby.
Oh, oh, goodbye, Andrew.
Your mom I and will be at the Garden Restaurant if you need us.
The number is 473 Dad.
Dad, Dad, come on.
We'll fill him in.
Yeah, okay.
Here you go, Jennifer.
There you go.
Oh, d-don't take him away yet.
Mom, he's not goin' off to jail.
Well, I wanna s I wanna give him another hug.
Well, you hug Dad, and I'll hug Andrew.
Right, and I'll hug Jennifer.
Right, and I'll, uh, supervise.
I can't believe we're here.
I can't either.
They're all grownups.
I never thought I'd be in a room full of grownups again.
Oh, it's nice, isn't it? Mm-hm.
Odds are we won't have to tell any of them to get off the phone.
Or settle an argument between 'em.
None of them look like they need to be burped either.
Our waiter looks like he could use a bur Honey.
Honey.
Sorry.
It's none of my business.
Yeah.
I-I am really glad we're here, and I'm not worried about Andrew.
I mean, after all, he's over his cold Come on, Elyse.
Let's not talk about the baby tonight.
Let's talk about us.
Forget we even have a baby.
What baby? Excuse me.
Are you ready to order? Oh, yes.
I'll have the baby lamb chops, um, the baby lima beans, and the little baby snow peas.
Would you like to see our children's menu? Uh, no.
We'll have the grownup lamb chops and whatever grownup food goes with it.
Right.
Two orders, grownup chops.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
Oh, here.
Thank you.
Where were we? I don't remember, but we weren't talking about the baby.
No baby talk tonight.
I mean, uh No baby talk tonight.
Oh, Steven, what a cute couple.
Oh.
Elyse.
You are a cutie.
Hey.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
Uh, are you with him? He met us here.
Oh, he sneezed.
I know.
I think he's comin' down with a cold.
Oh, uh, our son has a cold too.
Well, here.
Let me show you some pictures of our boy.
There.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, he is beautiful.
Elyse, why don't we leave these people to their dinner? Oh, no, no.
No, that's fine, really.
Let me show you some pictures of little Roger.
Wha? Isn't he here? Yeah, I know, but, uh, he's a little grumpy.
Don't look at him.
He looks much better in the pictures.
Elyse, remember, we said we weren't gonna talk You have that picture of Andy in the baseball cap? Oh, there it is.
Are you ready to order? No, thanks.
We've already ordered.
Oh.
Oh, well, of course.
You haven't.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, enjoy your dinner.
Here, take the pictures with you.
You'll love 'em.
Hey, here.
L-look at the ones of Andy.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, Steven.
Now, listen, Elyse, this is exactly the kind of thing we said we were not going to do.
You've gotta control yourself.
You're right, sorry.
It's out of my system.
Well, I hope so.
Let's just enjoy this time alone together.
Okay.
Excuse me.
Where are you going? Uh, to the men's room.
I'll be right back.
Oh.
Hi, Jennifer.
It's me.
Your father.
Um, yeah, well Dinner's going fine.
Thank you.
Listen What? I don't care if you're expecting an important call.
I will not keep it brief.
Listen, um, how's Andrew? Ooh, has he been sneezing at all? Well, are you sure? Because if his cold's acting up again, we can come right home.
Look, why don't you check on? No! No, I do not want a free dance lesson, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't interrupt my dinner in the future.
I tried to be a nice guy by answering a pay phone, and look what happens.
Why did you hang up? I'm sorry.
Did you want a free dance lesson? Well, how was Andrew? He's fine.
Elyse, I think I figured out what went wrong tonight.
Oh? Well, you see, it's very simple, really.
See, we each have careers which take up a lot of our time and energy, and we have three children who are very wonderful, but, uh, who are also very loud and demanding.
And on top of that, we have a baby who is, uh, very beautiful, but also very loud and demanding and who occupies every last moment of our remaining time and energy.
Tonight we tried to escape all that.
And? It's impossible.
That's encouraging.
But it's true, Elyse.
Uh, we can, uh, remove ourselves physically from all this, but, uh But not emotionally.
This is our life.
We're trapped in it.
You make it sound like a science-fiction film.
It's not such a bad life, is it? No, it's not.
It's a great life.
Oh.
I-I think we just have to accept the fact that our life has changed, that we're parents.
We have fo Four children, and we enjoy it.
And we're not gonna have any fun till Andrew goes to college.
I accept that.
Hi.
I just wanted to apologize for talking on the phone so much lately.
It's okay, honey.
For some reason, I find myself talking about boys a lot more than I used to.
In fact, I find myself talking to boys a lot more than I used to.
We've noticed.
I'm sure it's just a phase.
It'll pass.
I'm not getting that.
Uh, if it's for me, tell whoever it is that I'll see him at school tomorrow.
Hello.
Well, no.
No, I'm sorry, Adam Dad, no! Hi, uh, Adam? Uh, can I call you right back? Okay.
Bye.
This is the last phone call I will ever make in my whole life.
Please? Thanks.
Good night.
Hey, hey.
How you doin'? Oh, not bad.
Not bad.
Look, we know you guys haven't been able to spend a lot of time together and that we're probably part of the reason why not.
Right.
So, uh, we just wanted to say we're sorry, and, you know, all that stuff.
Apology accepted, and all that stuff.
And if Andrew cries tonight, we'll take care of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
If, uh If Andrew cries tonight, Mallory will take care of it.
Right.
It's too quiet, Steven.
Oh, come on, Elyse.
Let's enjoy this.
This is what we wanted, isn't it? Yeah.
What do you want to do? I don't know.
What do you want to do? Well, I have a vague recollection of you and me being in bed together.
Oh, yeah, that.
I think I remember.
I think we're falling asleep, Elyse.
We're definitely falling asleep.
I knew there had to be a catch.
I love you.
I love you too, honey.