Hannah Montana s03e21 Episode Script

We got a special treat today radio listeners We're talking with international pop sensation: the glamorous Hannah Montana! So Hannah, where did we track you down? I'm guessing some place fabulous and exciting Yeah, I mean, if you could only see me now.
I'm actually eating at a beautiful cafe in In Italy.
Wow, where in Italy? Uhin a great little town called sodium free I mean Sodiana Fremin -College man in the house! -Shhhh! Hello, can't you see I'm in the middle of doing an interview? Hello, in the middle of not caring.
Dad, I can't believe I was so down on going to Malibu Community College It's gonna be amazing.
That is a great attitude son! Now let's see those text books.
Right, about that You know MCC's about more than just books dad it's It's about broadening your horizons with, in new places and with new people.
Well do all the new people there wear hats with crab claws on 'em? Just the ones with school spirit.
We are the sand crabs, the mighty fighting sand crabs! Shhhhh! Big house, many rooms, go find one! Big bag, no books, where are they? What, there was a crazy line for books, so I made an educated decision to spend my first day in college a little more wisely.
Translation: The girl selling these sand crab doodads was cute and you decided to broaden your horizons with her.
Dad, please, she's got a name: Cashier number 88675309.
Hey hey, get your crabby claws off of my garlic bread! Ooh, trouble in Sodiana Flemmi Oh no, it's just my crabby brother and his fungus filled feet.
Zip it brat, that's personal! -Oh yeah sure now you're whisper! -Oh now you're whisper Hey, who knew Hannah had a brother, how old is he? 9, 10? Oh yeah, I wish he acted that mature.
Dad! How about that? Even pop stars have brothers they're embarrassed by.
Tell me about it.
You have not lived until you've seen him pick the lint out of his navel, sniff it and then put it back.
No that's not true, I don't always put it back.
You hear that, girls, if you're looking for a lint sniffing stinky feet goof, Hannah Montana's brother is your man.
You back off, and you, take back what you said about your brother.
Fine.
Listen about my brother That's about all we have time for today, enjoy Italy Hannah.
Oh I will, ciao.
Well I tried.
Thanks a lot, you just made me sound like a total loser on national radio.
Oh relax, nobody knows that Jackson Stewart is Hannah's brother.
Except for the entire town of Crowley Corners.
there's tons of girls who now think I'm a total loser! If they already know you they already know that you're a total loser.
No harm no foul.
Oh, there has been harm.
And to be fair, there will be foul.
Play, from me to you.
You just messed with the wrong fighting sand crab missy.
We are the sand crabs, the mighty fighting sand crabs, yeah! You get the limo out front.
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
Yea when your famous it can be kinda fun.
It's really you but no one ever discovers.
Who would've thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds.
Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together and you know that It's the best of both worlds.
Hannah Montana S03E21 For (Give) a Little Bit Week old shrimp, perfect.
Ah, revenge is a dish best served stinky.
-Jackson? -Nothing, what week old shrimp? Hand it over, son.
Come on dad, you heard what she said about me? Can I just pour some in her pockets? -Jackson -In her shoes? -Jackson -Fine.
Oh, would you look at that? you know she only sucks her thumb when she feels guilty about something.
That doesn't mean she feels guilty about me.
Jackson, sorry Doesn't prove anything.
Look at that face, it's like tryna stay mad at a kitten.
No! no no no, that's not gonna work on me this time.
I just gonna look away, look away.
Mmmh, what's that smell? Revenge! It would've been all over you if a certain shrimp-stealing-sister-saver hadn't stepped in and stopped me! Jackson look, this is really hard for me to say.
Harder than "shrimp-stealing-sister-saver"? I doubt it! shrimp-stealing-sister-saver, shrimp-stealing-sister-saver, shrimp Oh sweet niblets son this is hard to say.
Jackson please.
Go ahead.
I shouldn't have said that stuff about you on the radio.
I was just tryna be funny and I'm sorry that I embarrassed you.
OK, fine, I forgive you.
No no no, I have a condition.
You know your Hannah friend Traci, She's throwing one of those pretty people partis tonight, and you have to take me with you.
But you don't even like Traci.
True, but she throws great parties with free food.
Giving me a cheap way to take out the girl of my dreams.
Cashier number: 88675309.
Oh come on, can't you just, can't you just pour some shrimp in my hair and let's call it even.
-Yes? -No.
Party.
Oh are you sure about the shrimp? -Yeah.
-Fine.
Sorry mom, I can't really talk to you right now.
I'm about to use that aerobic stepper you got me.
Oh heck yeah I use it everyday.
You wouldn't believe the things it's done for me.
OK, I'll call you later, bye bye.
And here we go.
And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4, ha! There you are, you little double-fudge delight.
Hey-yo! What cookies, where? Rico, what are you doing here? Just hoping I can get an autograph on this vintage Robbie Ray album, I happily overpaid for because It's more than just music, it's a piece of American history.
That's a very pretty speech son, but We both know you hate country music.
What would make you say such a terrible thing? Maybe becasue last week you yelled out: "Hey Robbie, I hate country music!" Oh shucks partner, ya'll know I was just funning ya.
Alright fine.
I met this gorgeous beach babe and she's perfect.
Except for one tragic character flaw.
She likes country music, doesn't she? Loves it! She even has a dog named Banjo Oh I had a dog named Banjo! Surprise, surprise.
The point is, I may have given her the impression that I'm a pretty good line dancer.
-How good? -World champion.
Woo, sounds like you're in more trouble than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
You gotta help me, please.
I'm begging you, beg, beg, beg, beg, beg! It's OK Rico, I'll do it you don't have to embarrassed yourself in front of me.
-Really? -Oh heck no.
You have to embarrassed yourself in front of the whole beach.
Come on now let's hear it.
Yee doggies, I sure do love that darn coutry music! You know, Traci's parties are great except for one thing: Let me guess: Traci.
Yeah, she's always there, why is that? Yeah, good luck with that.
-Hannah! -Traci! Woo! This place looks incredible.
Welcome to my "day in the life of me" party.
Featuring all the important things I do to make this possible.
Over there we have facials.
Or what I like to call: Tra-cials.
And on that side: Tra-ssages.
And of course Tra-nicures and Tra-dicures You know, after all this stuff you'd think you'll be less Tra-gly.
Lola! You know what, I happen to think it's a great idea, and I have ingrown Tra-nail, and a nasty Tra-mple, I need Tra-ken care of! Hannah, it's a bit, let's not work it to death.
Hannah, this is perfect.
Not only did I just get my nose hairs trimmed, see? -Nice.
-No I see a little boogie back there.
No, that's just his brain.
You are adorable.
Anyway, Mia Or as you might remember her cashier number 88675309.
She is totally loving me for bringing her to this party.
I think she might be my first college girlfriend.
Wave and smile.
I'm getting a little nervous.
Do you think she'll notice? You'll be fine, if she had a sense of smell she wouldn't go out with you in the first place.
Good point.
Well, you know he's totally forgiven you for the radio thing.
Yeah well I apologized and he knew I really meant it.
Thumb sucking in your sleep again? Never been awake to see it but apparently it's irresistible.
Ah, these reflex massages are the best.
All your emotions are tied to the pressure points in your feet you know.
Oh come on Traci, you don't really believe that, do you? I love you! Sorry, that's my feet talking.
Maybe your feet, my feet are pamess-ed, polished and ready to pounce, meow! Lola, you've gotta try this, all your emotions are tied into your Alright, what did you just hit there? Yeah, looks like fun but they just called my number for the spray tan.
Goodbye pan and pasty, hello tan and tasty.
Hey Hannah, I heard "thumb-thing" interesting about you.
What are you talking about? Check it out, you're all over the internet.
Insider says: Hannah still sucks thumb? Wow, somebody really had it in for you.
Jackson!! Alright, where is that stinky-pitted, back-stabbing, blabbermouth? Yo, 8867 whatever! Where's Jackson? -Getting a facial.
-Thanks.
Hey Hannah.
Oh, that's funny.
She says she wants it harder.
Eh, Gina, it's time for your break.
Hello, Traci, not done here.
Oh don't worry, Helga will give you a facial you'll never forget.
Sucker.
What's funny? Whatwhat's funny? What? What? -Ewgh! -What? Oh what the? No no, this isn't mine, it's No my boogers aren't this sticky.
Look at that.
See I knew he had a boogie! No that's just a little mixture of gum, cucumber, and a whole lot of wig stick gum.
Bonus I did not see that coming.
I will never date another freshman ever!! Wait! That is embarrassing, just a little bit.
Mia, come back! That's my car Gotcha! Or should I say: snortcha? You did this? Why? Oh please, don't try to act innocent.
You told someone about this And now it's all over the internet.
You crossed the line! No I didn't! I didn't tell anybody! Oh please, who would? Oopsie! I was talking with Traci and her people She said "I am Hannah's best freind" And I said "Oh I don't think so, I'm Hannah's best friend.
" And she was like "You wish" And I was like "You wish" And she was like "I know best friend stuff about her" And I was like "I know way better best friend stuff about her like she still sucks her thumb" And I know it was wrong but I was talking too fast so I'll stop right now done, stop, sorry! Oopsie? It's a little late for that! -Jackson please wait! -I don't wanna hear it! Jackson, come back! That's my car OK, partner, it's time to put a little scoot in your boots and a little glide in your stride, with a little thing we'd like to call electric slide.
Watch and learn.
Two, three, four, one, two, three, four.
One, two, three, clap.
One, two, three, clap.
And clap, and back, and start again.
Now you do it.
-That's it? -Yeah, that's it.
I yee doggy the whole beach for this? Ridiculously easy.
Yeah, and totally wrong.
I mean, a good old boy ain't gonna be doing all this kind of stuff, you know what I'm saying? Your girl's looking for a championship line dancer, Not a spin cycle on a washing machine.
Now do it one more time.
And not do all the extra-curricular.
Just do it.
And one, two, three, stop and clap and back and Oh it's no use, I can't stop myself.
My mind says no, but my hips say go.
Curse the fire that flew through my latin veins.
Now chill out El Flago.
You just gotta get in touch with your inner cowboy.
I know just the thing to do.
Buckle up and ride Come on Mr Stewart, I've been on this thing for three hours I can't feel my inner cowboy, or my inner thighs! Well hop on down and let's see what we've got.
What I've got is a busted back and butt blisters.
Perfect.
What do you mean "perfect"? Look at you, you're finally walking like a real cowboy.
Now let's see if you can dance like one? Slide 'em cowboy, slide em! Come on Jackson, I've been saying I'm sorry for like past 16 hours.
What more do you want me to do? OK OK fine.
I humiliated you in front of a girl you like.
And so, you want me to do the same thing? Alright, you see that really hot guy over there? He just transfered here, and all the girls are crazy about him, include me.
I'm about to creat a very sad entry in my diary.
And all for you! Hey Drew, hey guys.
Hey Miley.
Do you mind if I have a chilli fried? Ah, you don't want these, they've been here since we sat down.
But, I can go get us.
Oh no, don't worry about it.
That's so good, free, And I did not even mess up my nails.
Oh that's gross! Oh what? You're afraid of somebody who eat used food? But you know what? I'm a cheap date that is your loss.
Sorry, I gotta go! Are you happy now? Drew is never gonna talk to me again.
So we're even, right? Alright fine, you want me to humiliate myself in front of the entire beach? I'll do it, but you just remember this is all for you! If that won't put a hole in the ozone I don't know what will.
The chilli, you know the ozone Forget it, you're impossible You just don't get it, do you? Get what? Sure, I'm mad about what you did to me.
But it's why you did it that really hurts.
Come on Jackson, I made a little mistake.
It's not little, look.
You're my sister and we may fight, We may pull stuff on each other but I will never drag that into the Hannah world.
That's the line I would never cross and I can't believe you thought I would! Jackson look I I'm sorry I never should've thought that you would OK, we're cool.
We're cool? That's it? Yeah, I just wanted you to know why you were apologizing? So I did all this humiliating stuff for nothing? Well I wouldn't say this for nothing It was enormously entertaining Well done.
You're a horrible brother.
And you are a bratty sister.
Oh my gosh, I gotta go try to explain this to Drew so he doesn't think I'm a total dork.
-Eh, Miles? -Ah? -Good luck.
-Thank you.
Another root beer, this time, leave the can.
Rico, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be line dancing with your little filly about right now.
She stood me up.
I'm sorry to hear that buddy, we're both been there.
Well it's never happened to me but I've seen it in the movies.
I just never got a chance to show her my moves.
I consider that's her loss.
Let's see if we can get you cheered up.
Country style.
Howdy ma'am.
Cowboy love strikes again.