Starsky and Hutch (1975) s03e21 Episode Script
65 - Partners
[###.]
[TYRES SCREECHING.]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[EXPLODES.]
[###.]
HUTCH: Smell that, will you? Yeah, the smog's real heavy.
No, no, no, there's no smog today.
I'm talking about springtime.
You can feel it in the air.
The only spring I can feel is definitely not in the air.
Well, then, listen.
Yeah, it's missing.
Plugs need regapping.
I am talking about the sweet sounds of springtime, and all you can relate to is this two-ton hunk of junk.
This two-ton hunk of junk is capable of taking you anywhere you wanna go just about as fast as you wanna go there.
It happens to be the hottest machine on El Road-o.
Yeah, big deal-o! You're really pushing, aren't you? Just give a little time for springtime.
DISPATCH [ON POLICE RADIO.]
: Zebra Three, a 211 suspect travelling east on Adams in a '64 maroon Ford That's 30 seconds away from here.
[SIREN BLARING.]
Zebra Three, 10-4 on that 211.
We're approaching Whoo-hoo! Did you see that guy? Did you see the look on his face? We got the money, man! '64 Ford, right? There he is.
Oh, brother.
Look out, big mama! Big daddy's hot tonight! Whoo-hoo! Oh, man.
We've been made.
Keep your breeches on, city boy.
They ain't about to catch Billy Joe.
[ENGINE REVS.]
They're gaining on us, man.
Watch this move, Henderson.
[ENGINE REVS.]
[TYRES SCREECH.]
He ain't bad.
I can usually shake them with that move.
Boy, that nut is one good driver.
He's crazy is what he is.
He made that turn without even hitting the brakes.
Yeah, but you don't have to do that, Starsky! This ain't no race, you country hick.
That's a cop back there.
And if he catches us, they're gonna put us away.
Ain't no cop born or made that can outdrive Billy Joe.
Starsky, it's a red light! You just broke a law! Hey, look, man, this is a 211, in case you wanna know.
It's a robbery.
It's not worth getting killed over! You know what I mean? I can't.
That guy's a criminal, and I'm a criminal catcher.
Whatever happened Starsky, you're crazy.
Whatever happened to springtime? Oh, come on, will you? Slow down! Oh, man.
This guy's gonna get away if I slow down.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Don't! Not in my car! Come on, pull over.
Pull over to the side, will you? Don't! Keep it tight, Henderson.
[ENGINE REVS.]
BILLY JOE: This is where we lose them.
[TRUCK HORN BLARING.]
Watch out! [SIREN BLARING.]
Easy.
Good.
Oh, yeah.
[GROANS.]
You're doing very well.
Yeah, compared to what? There you go.
Safe and sound.
Is that what they call it? How do you feel? Weak.
Can I get you something? Yeah.
Some rest.
A new body and a general overhaul.
Now, you're not supposed to move too much.
So if you need anything, just push this and one of us will come right over.
Oh, I get it.
You're what they call a pushover.
[IMITATING MAE WEST.]
Oh, then give me a call when you're better, and I'll let you know.
[IMITATING HUMPHREY BOGART.]
What's wrong with now, sweetheart? Dr Greene will be in to see you soon, OK? OK.
Hutch! Did you push, sir? Yeah.
Where's my partner? Excuse me? Hutchinson.
Ken Hutchinson.
We were in the car together.
Where is he? I'm sorry, sir, I don't know.
Well, you gotta find out! OK, OK.
Calm down.
I'll try.
Yeah.
Hutchinson.
Ken Hutchinson.
We came into the hospital together.
I gotta know.
OK, now relax.
I'll find him.
Right.
Right.
Thank you.
Dr Greene, the patient was asking about his partner, Mr Ken Hutchinson.
Yes, I'll take care of it.
Thank you, Doctor.
I'm Dr Greene.
Aside from the bruises and physical discomfort, I think you were very fortunate.
However, we'll keep you here for a few days just for observation.
What about my partner? A little bit more complicated.
What do you mean? Well, his neck is sprained.
There's a possibility of concussion.
Physically, he will recover, but But what? His head sustained a rather severe blow at the moment of impact.
So, what's the complication? Well, your friend, Mr Starsky, is suffering from amnesia.
What? Wait a second.
Slow Slow this down so I can catch up.
What do you mean? He remembers nothing.
Nothing? You mean, he forgot last week or last month or what? Total blackout of memory function.
We had to tell him his name.
I can't believe it.
I gotta see him.
No.
They're bringing him down now.
[GROANS.]
[EXHALES.]
Either way, it can't be permanent.
I hear of temporary amnesia all the time.
Well, as he recovers physically, it's possible that he may recover his memory as well.
No sweat.
As soon as he sees this ugly mug of mine, he'll be home free, huh? [###.]
Hey, Hutch.
Boy, am I glad to see that ugly face of yours, buddy.
How you feeling? I thought I was supposed to have a private room, Doctor.
We're short on beds.
I'm afraid you'll have to share with Mr Starsky.
Hey, Hutch.
You afraid of competition for nurses? Now, look, mister.
Hey, it's Starsky.
Obviously, neither one of us is in prime condition, so if you don't mind, I would like a little peace and quiet, Mr Starky.
Starsky.
With an "S.
" Nurse, please.
[HUTCH GROANS.]
[###.]
You know, this is really weird.
What's weird, Mr, um? Starsky.
Starsky.
Nothing's weird.
Everything's great.
Everything's copacetic.
This oatmeal's like cement mix.
Yes, it is a little stiff.
Zebra Three, Zebra Three.
What? Zebra Three, Zebra Three.
Nurse! Are you all right? Zebra Three.
That's what headquarters used to call us.
That was our code name.
Code name, huh? Yeah.
Sounds like something out of a B-movie.
You trying to tell me I was some kind of a spy? Not a spy, a cop.
Oh, please.
Anything but a cop.
What's wrong with being a cop? Oh, nothing.
If you're into that kind of a macho power trip.
How could anybody be called Three Zebras? That's it! That's it! What's it? You haven't changed.
That's what you used to always say.
You always used to say that when you were a cop.
Back before you forgot.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You used to hate numbers and code names.
It all came to a head one day when we were driving in my car.
What were you doing in there? I just wanna get my car fixed! I've been in there, on the phone, for 20 minutes trying to prove I exist! Oh.
Did you ever think about it, Starsky? What? Here we go, another day, another dollar.
They're trying to make us into digits, and I'm tired of it.
Hey, hey, hey.
You know, it's important.
I enjoy being Zebra Three.
I don't think I could sleep at night if they took that away from us.
Starsky, they feed us numbers all day long.
They try to make us into one of them.
Zebra Three, 10-4.
Forty buffalo, a gaggle of geese! Or a partridge in a pear tree.
Sounds like Christmas.
That's not funny.
I know it's not funny.
But it's not the end of the world either.
I mean, look at it this way, they could've made us Weimaraner Four.
[BEEPING.]
DISPATCH [OVER POLICE RADIO.]
: Zebra Three.
You see, isn't that beautiful? Ah, let me take it.
No, I got it.
I'll take it.
OK.
Hello, fellow person.
Nice human being, are you calling us? Zebra Three, come in, please.
you talking, 200 antelopes? What are we, a zoo? Who is this? This is Detectives Hutchinson and Starsky.
No numbers today.
What do you wish, warm person? Please talk now.
There's a 187.
That's a dead body in Lincoln Gardens, near the museum.
We're rolling.
Sound familiar to you now? No, not in the slightest.
Good morning! How are we today? We are weird.
We're getting weirder by the minute.
Yes, I can see that.
Time for your medication, Kenneth.
What are you giving him? A painkiller.
What kind of painkiller? Just a small dose of a morphine derivative.
Why are you so curious? Oh, I was just wondering.
How do you know he's not gonna have a reaction to that? Because I checked his medical history.
As always.
Well, sometimes those things don't tell the whole story.
What are you trying to tell her? Well, it's something that happened a couple of years ago.
Not the sort of thing you wanna get around the department.
It wasn't your fault.
He was nabbed by a couple of dope pushers with a score to settle.
They settled it with a needle.
[TYRES SCREECH.]
Hutch, you crazy He's your partner, isn't he? Yeah.
My God, he's a junkie.
Shut up, huh? I'll handle it.
I gotta make a report.
No report.
This didn't happen, Bernie.
Understand? This didn't happen.
I'll take responsibility.
Thanks.
STARSKY: Give me a hand.
Come on, Hutch.
Come on.
Come on.
But you kicked it, cold turkey.
And I was with you every second of the way.
And if you can do that, you can get your memory back.
But, Mr Starky Starsky.
Mr Starky, if that's a sample of my past, I'm not sure I want it back.
Nurse, would you close that curtain? Would you see if you can do something for him? I'm gonna go check out the plumbing.
Why don't we finish our paper later? And I'll take you down for an electroencaphalogram.
Does it hurt? Only if you fall off the examining table.
Now, help me get you out of bed.
OK.
[###.]
WOMAN [OVER PA.]
: Dr Hyatt, Dr Hyatt, report to Admitting.
Well, I guess that Marsha couldn't bear being around such gorgeous creatures, huh? Ah, look, Hutch, I know it's kind of a drag, but The only way that you're gonna find yourself is if we talk about it.
OK, so if you're not in the mood to talk about it, I'll talk about it.
And if you don't like it, you can get yourself transferred out of this room by pushing that button.
OK.
Look, I know you have kind of a dim view about police work, but You know, there are a lot of things to be proud of.
I mean, do you have any idea how many times you laid your life down for another person? Do you remember that little girl that was kidnapped? No, of course you've forgotten it.
But that freak who did it had you running all over the city for the ransom money.
Now, I was backing you up on a motorcycle, but you knew you had that kid's life in your hands.
And you weren't gonna let anything get in your way.
[###.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Yeah? MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: You got 90 seconds to get to the next one.
Go east on Sinclair.
What? HUTCH [OVER HEADSET.]
: [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Eighteen Get away from that phone! Get away from the phone! MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: Not bad, clown.
Why don't we talk? Save your breath, creep.
You're gonna need it.
From now on, you'll only have five rings.
Three blocks north, on Aurora and Pacific, there's a laundromat.
The payphone's in the back.
You only got a minute.
One minute flat.
Laundromat, Aurora and Pacific.
Aurora and Pacific.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
[WOMAN SCREAMS.]
I'm a cop! MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: Hey, baby, it's me, Captain Surreal.
You ain't bad.
You're getting to every place on time, like a choo-choo train.
How do you feel? I'm fine.
I'm just fine.
Listen.
Don't sell me, man.
Can we just talk a minute? Get moving, baby blue.
You got our money.
There's a bar and grill, Get over there or we're gonna cut up the girl.
You've got 30 seconds, Skutch.
[TYRES SCREECH.]
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
That guy must be crazy.
Let's get him around the front.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Don't touch that phone! Yeah? MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: What do you think you're pulling? What are you talking about? You got cops in front of that place! Man, she's gonna die.
We'll let her die, man! Get the hell out of here! I said, get out of here! You see that? He called the cops! Hutch! [GUNSHOT.]
[###.]
STARSKY: Get out of the way! Get out of the way.
MAN: Jesus! I thought you were dead.
Bulletproof vest, remember? I forgot.
Of course, if I hadn't been there backing you up on that motorcycle, who knows what would've happened? WOMAN [OVER PA.]
: Nurse Phillips, report to the maternity ward.
Aren't you glad the EEG checked out? Oh, yeah.
Now I only have to worry about a concussion and a broken arm.
It could be worse.
It would've been better if the guy had learned to use brakes.
What did you say? I said I could be better, but those are the breaks.
[###.]
STARSKY: What do you mean, you don't know how to play pinochle? Just what I said.
But you love pinochle! How can you love something you don't even know how to play? [KNOCKING.]
Hey, hey, hey! Hi there.
What do you say, fellas? [SPEAKS SPANISH.]
STARSKY: Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
Say, Hutchinson, is it true about what they? Are these friends of yours, Starsky? Well, yeah.
I guess you could say that.
You boys wouldn't be in show business, by any chance? He's really lost it, huh? Uh, Hutch.
This is Captain Dobey.
Dopey? Oh, really? You're with the Army, huh? No, he's a police captain.
Oh, a police captain? This character over here, the chief of police? I don't see anything funny about that.
Hey, Hutch, I'm no character.
I'm Huggy Bear.
We go back farther than Lewis and Clark.
Well, you'd think that somebody who dresses the way you do, I wouldn't forget.
You, Captain, no offence meant, but don't you think you should lay off the sweets? I can't wait for him to recover.
Um, you'll be glad to know we captured those guys you were chasing.
That's fantastic.
Isn't that great news, Hutch? Huh? Well, we would've apprehended them ourselves if it hadn't been for that truck.
Yeah, the way you drive, Starsky, I'm surprised you didn't fly over it.
Hey, I was trying to avoid hitting an innocent bystander.
HUTCH: Clever.
Judging from my X-rays, you hit something a lot worse.
I wouldn't talk if I were you.
You know, I've been sitting on something for a long time here.
But the last time we let you behind the wheel, it wasn't exactly a pleasure cruise! You've lost me.
I've lost you? You damn near lost me! STARSKY: Aah! [###.]
Take it easy, take it easy! Every one of those bumps is going right through me.
Sorry, Mr Fortune, but we can't stop again if you wanna get to the airport when you wanted to.
Take it easy.
Hey, we got company.
I feel like I'm eating the desert! STARSKY: Hutch! Hutch! Will you take it easy, Starsk? How are we gonna stop them? Watch this.
STARSKY: Watch out for the tree! HUTCH: What tree? I can't see a bloody thing! Just hang on! STARSKY: Aah! What's the matter? Are you crazy? Take it easy, buddy.
I'm a certified pilot.
STARSKY: Aah! Don't look down, Starsk! STARSKY: Aah! Here they come! FORTUNE: Hey, wait a minute.
Get me out of here.
Now, we're gonna nail them when they come over the top.
Olly olly in free.
Don't move! Hey, I'm unarmed.
Welcome home, Joey.
So don't be giving me grief about my driving, buddy.
According to your story, if it's true, there were no injuries, right? So what? So if I can believe you, when you were driving, we were almost killed.
Ah, quit complaining, will you? You're alive, aren't you? I can't believe that I'd be partners with such a horrible, hostile person.
Horrible? Hostile? If I were really hostile, I'd pop you in the mouth for a crack like that! Ah-ah-ah.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
What's that supposed to mean? How about the time you busted him in that bar on 3rd Street? STARSKY: Come on, Hug, you know it was just an act.
Yeah, well, four bad guys didn't win.
Hey, take it easy, will you? I got the right to remain silent.
That it? That's what they told you? Just trying to help you out, Starsk, that's all.
Well, you got a funny way of showing it, pal.
I blow away a no-good punk and you're ready to help them nail me to the wall.
Nothing's happened yet, Starsky.
You've just been put on suspension, that's all.
There's gonna be a hearing.
And you're gonna testify at that hearing, right, buddy-boy? What are you gonna say at that hearing, huh? You gonna tell them what you said in your report? You gonna tell them what you said out there? Remember? When you found him, he was dead? I'll tell them the truth is what I'll tell them.
Yeah.
Well, let me tell you something, partner.
I don't care about the truth any more.
I've had it up to here.
Ask Nellie.
Bad guys suck it all up.
Hey, listen.
This is HUTCH: That's a little bit hard to believe.
It's the truth.
WOMAN [OVER PA.]
: Dr Bear.
Dr Bear, please call your service.
Oh, um, excuse me.
I told them I was a doctor.
You know, I thought he'd never leave.
Well Hey, uh can one of you tell me where the little boys' room is? It's right there, Captain.
First door.
Thank you.
DOBEY: Don't go away.
Ugh.
So, that's the kind of work you do, huh? What's that? Running around, punching people.
Now, wait a second.
Just not my cup of tea.
Tea? Tea.
Let me ask you something.
In this supposed relationship of ours, have I ever had occasion to punch you in the face? To punch me? Punch.
Punch.
Yeah.
Well, now that you mention it.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Detective Starsky.
I want a coroner's lab and a crime lab A coroner's team and a crime lab at 116 Berkley, apartment two-four.
Twenty-four! Yeah! HUTCH: What's going on? She's dead, Hutch.
Grossman did it.
Grossman.
Who are you talking about? Why would he want to kill her? What, are you crazy? Listen to me, buddy.
I'm listening to what? What is this? What are you doing here? What? Why did Huggy call me? What is this? She was gonna tell you.
Tell me what? She worked for Grossman.
What did you say? The only girls that work for Grossman are hookers.
Are you trying to tell me that Gillian is a hooker? Is that what you're trying to tell me, buddy, friend? That my girl is a hooker? A prostitute? Look around you.
What do you think bought this place? You You liar! You never did like her! You never could understand her! That's not true, and you know it.
Look, the last time we went to Grossman's, I went to the back room, and I saw her in the massage parlour.
So what? She could've been there She could've been there doing an interview.
She could've been talking to some people.
She could've been doing a story.
Come on.
What are you gonna do? You wanna hit me again, huh? Is that what you want? She was a prostitute.
There's nothing you can do or say that's gonna change that fact.
Or the fact that she loved you, and she was about to give all this up just for you.
That's probably why Grossman killed her.
Hey.
How many years have we known each other, huh? You're the best friend I got in the whole world.
You think I like saying things like this to you? STARSKY: It's OK.
It's gonna be OK.
[###.]
[GROANS.]
[EXHALES.]
You awake? Yeah.
You wanna talk? What's there to talk about? Well, I I heard some stories this afternoon about some pretty rough times I had.
And I just want to thank you for being there.
Go to sleep.
It's no big deal.
Yes, it is.
Hey, plenty of times you were there for me.
Yeah? Times there were when I almost packed it in.
You know, I once almost quit the police force? So why didn't you? The only job that you could find me was defensive end on the Canadian football team.
Is that right? I was going through some pretty rough changes then.
You remember Terry? Right, you don't remember anything.
To tell you the truth, when Terry died, I didn't think I had enough strength to remain on this earth.
But you stuck with me.
Canadian football team.
He's a Uh, a friend of my brother-in-law.
Uh, a brother of my friend-in-law in Duluth.
Yeah, his name is Harry.
Harry.
No, not "Harry Harry.
" Will you come on, it's your turn.
Wait a second.
Go ahead and do it for me, will you? One second.
Uh, here it is.
His name is Harry Marri Marrisipio.
Marrisipio, yeah.
You rolled a seven.
Well, this is the front office, isn't it? I mean, this is the Vancouver Lions? Well, he works in that front office.
This is the football office, right? Well, you see, my friend and I want to try out for your football team.
Yeah.
Of course I know what time it is, it's the middle of the night.
No, we're not playing football for anybody right now.
We're policemen, but, um, we're tough.
We're gonna give it up.
We'll quit.
Yeah.
Hello? Hello? He hung up on me.
Will you please give me $70? You know something, you really stink at this game.
The only thing you own is the utilities there.
Yeah? Yeah.
Well, I didn't want to play football in Canada anyway.
It's too cold.
You gotta be a pelican.
Well, we gotta do something, right? If we're not gonna be cops.
Maybe we ought to go down to South America and try robbing banks.
Come on, get serious, will you? [CLOCK CHIMING.]
I should get serious? The man's trying to sign us up for the Canadian Football League.
Here you go, Bronco.
Open it up.
You know, I feel I feel kind of strange.
Hey, it's midnight.
Two weeks.
Terry sent it two weeks after she We should open these.
I'll show you.
[###.]
"A Thousand Ways to Win Monopoly.
" "Hutch.
" That's Ollie.
She used to keep him on the bed with her.
"Dearest Hutch, "To you I entrust "Ollie and Dave.
"Please love them both.
"Don't let either one of them change.
" That's beautiful.
I don't know why Terry got me that book.
I was great at Monopoly.
No, you weren't.
Sure I was.
I used to beat everybody.
You were a rank amateur.
Terry used to roll over you all the time.
What are you talking about? You'd get stomped every time.
I was there, chump.
You were lucky to get a couple of lousy utilities.
Compared to you, Terry looked like Chase Manhattan Bank.
Hutch You're remembering.
Your memory's coming back.
You realise what's happening? You got it.
I never lost it.
I can't believe it, it just What did you say? I never lost it.
I was faking it.
You were faking it? How you doing? How am I doing? Mm-hmm.
I could kill you.
Why? Why? Why could you do this to me? To give you something to consider the next time you double-clutch me into a truck! You put me in a wheelchair.
You lousy phoney! How else could I get a chance to hear these wonderful stories? Wonderful stories, huh? I'll tell you a wonderful You wanna tell wonderful stories? I'll tell you a wonderful story about a wonderful partner who's sitting in this wonderful bed worrying You think about that the next time you push me into [###.]
Good morning, Mr Dobey.
Captain Dobey.
Good morning.
Captain Dobey, isn't it wonderful? What? Mr Sparsky.
He got his memory back.
You mean Mr Hutchinson.
Well, one of the two.
When did this happen? Oh, he's such a devil.
He was faking it all the time.
He never forgot his memory.
Isn't that super? Yeah.
That's super.
And so are you, Miss? Bonnie.
Miss Bonnie.
Oh, this is a pleasant surprise.
You remember Captain? Uh, I think he wants to try to remember it himself.
I'll help you.
OK, watch.
Sounds like Sounds like Sounds like Um Um Um Blimp.
Oh, my head.
I think we'd better lie you down.
I need a vacation.
Excuse us, Captain.
I need a vacation.
Excuse us.
Would you help me into bed? Yeah.
Wrong one.
Over here.
Over here.
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
That's it.
Take it easy.
Would you mind fluffing the pillows? Yeah, yeah.
There you go.
Sit down.
Get your legs up.
Oh, I need a vacation.
There we go.
You want the light on? Oh, no, leave it off.
I have such a headache.
Well, in that case, Captain, would you shut the blinds, please? Are you in pain? Oh, I'm not sure.
Maybe I'd better take your pulse.
Where? What? HUTCH: Where do you wanna take my pulse? [HUTCH AND BONNIE CHUCKLE.]
Oh, my head.
Oh.
Uh OK.
Would you like the bed raised? Oh, yes.
I think so.
Captain, would you mind? Oh.
Thank you.
Oh, my God, his pulse is going like a crazy thing.
I think I'd better get you something to slow it down.
OK? [BONNIE CHUCKLES.]
You guys are so cute.
I mean, I can't remember the last time that anybody faked amnesia.
[###.]
Comfortable? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That means stop.
This means go.
I'll see you both tomorrow morning, 6am, Traffic Control.
And, uh, bring your whistles.
Mmm
[TYRES SCREECHING.]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[EXPLODES.]
[###.]
HUTCH: Smell that, will you? Yeah, the smog's real heavy.
No, no, no, there's no smog today.
I'm talking about springtime.
You can feel it in the air.
The only spring I can feel is definitely not in the air.
Well, then, listen.
Yeah, it's missing.
Plugs need regapping.
I am talking about the sweet sounds of springtime, and all you can relate to is this two-ton hunk of junk.
This two-ton hunk of junk is capable of taking you anywhere you wanna go just about as fast as you wanna go there.
It happens to be the hottest machine on El Road-o.
Yeah, big deal-o! You're really pushing, aren't you? Just give a little time for springtime.
DISPATCH [ON POLICE RADIO.]
: Zebra Three, a 211 suspect travelling east on Adams in a '64 maroon Ford That's 30 seconds away from here.
[SIREN BLARING.]
Zebra Three, 10-4 on that 211.
We're approaching Whoo-hoo! Did you see that guy? Did you see the look on his face? We got the money, man! '64 Ford, right? There he is.
Oh, brother.
Look out, big mama! Big daddy's hot tonight! Whoo-hoo! Oh, man.
We've been made.
Keep your breeches on, city boy.
They ain't about to catch Billy Joe.
[ENGINE REVS.]
They're gaining on us, man.
Watch this move, Henderson.
[ENGINE REVS.]
[TYRES SCREECH.]
He ain't bad.
I can usually shake them with that move.
Boy, that nut is one good driver.
He's crazy is what he is.
He made that turn without even hitting the brakes.
Yeah, but you don't have to do that, Starsky! This ain't no race, you country hick.
That's a cop back there.
And if he catches us, they're gonna put us away.
Ain't no cop born or made that can outdrive Billy Joe.
Starsky, it's a red light! You just broke a law! Hey, look, man, this is a 211, in case you wanna know.
It's a robbery.
It's not worth getting killed over! You know what I mean? I can't.
That guy's a criminal, and I'm a criminal catcher.
Whatever happened Starsky, you're crazy.
Whatever happened to springtime? Oh, come on, will you? Slow down! Oh, man.
This guy's gonna get away if I slow down.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Don't! Not in my car! Come on, pull over.
Pull over to the side, will you? Don't! Keep it tight, Henderson.
[ENGINE REVS.]
BILLY JOE: This is where we lose them.
[TRUCK HORN BLARING.]
Watch out! [SIREN BLARING.]
Easy.
Good.
Oh, yeah.
[GROANS.]
You're doing very well.
Yeah, compared to what? There you go.
Safe and sound.
Is that what they call it? How do you feel? Weak.
Can I get you something? Yeah.
Some rest.
A new body and a general overhaul.
Now, you're not supposed to move too much.
So if you need anything, just push this and one of us will come right over.
Oh, I get it.
You're what they call a pushover.
[IMITATING MAE WEST.]
Oh, then give me a call when you're better, and I'll let you know.
[IMITATING HUMPHREY BOGART.]
What's wrong with now, sweetheart? Dr Greene will be in to see you soon, OK? OK.
Hutch! Did you push, sir? Yeah.
Where's my partner? Excuse me? Hutchinson.
Ken Hutchinson.
We were in the car together.
Where is he? I'm sorry, sir, I don't know.
Well, you gotta find out! OK, OK.
Calm down.
I'll try.
Yeah.
Hutchinson.
Ken Hutchinson.
We came into the hospital together.
I gotta know.
OK, now relax.
I'll find him.
Right.
Right.
Thank you.
Dr Greene, the patient was asking about his partner, Mr Ken Hutchinson.
Yes, I'll take care of it.
Thank you, Doctor.
I'm Dr Greene.
Aside from the bruises and physical discomfort, I think you were very fortunate.
However, we'll keep you here for a few days just for observation.
What about my partner? A little bit more complicated.
What do you mean? Well, his neck is sprained.
There's a possibility of concussion.
Physically, he will recover, but But what? His head sustained a rather severe blow at the moment of impact.
So, what's the complication? Well, your friend, Mr Starsky, is suffering from amnesia.
What? Wait a second.
Slow Slow this down so I can catch up.
What do you mean? He remembers nothing.
Nothing? You mean, he forgot last week or last month or what? Total blackout of memory function.
We had to tell him his name.
I can't believe it.
I gotta see him.
No.
They're bringing him down now.
[GROANS.]
[EXHALES.]
Either way, it can't be permanent.
I hear of temporary amnesia all the time.
Well, as he recovers physically, it's possible that he may recover his memory as well.
No sweat.
As soon as he sees this ugly mug of mine, he'll be home free, huh? [###.]
Hey, Hutch.
Boy, am I glad to see that ugly face of yours, buddy.
How you feeling? I thought I was supposed to have a private room, Doctor.
We're short on beds.
I'm afraid you'll have to share with Mr Starsky.
Hey, Hutch.
You afraid of competition for nurses? Now, look, mister.
Hey, it's Starsky.
Obviously, neither one of us is in prime condition, so if you don't mind, I would like a little peace and quiet, Mr Starky.
Starsky.
With an "S.
" Nurse, please.
[HUTCH GROANS.]
[###.]
You know, this is really weird.
What's weird, Mr, um? Starsky.
Starsky.
Nothing's weird.
Everything's great.
Everything's copacetic.
This oatmeal's like cement mix.
Yes, it is a little stiff.
Zebra Three, Zebra Three.
What? Zebra Three, Zebra Three.
Nurse! Are you all right? Zebra Three.
That's what headquarters used to call us.
That was our code name.
Code name, huh? Yeah.
Sounds like something out of a B-movie.
You trying to tell me I was some kind of a spy? Not a spy, a cop.
Oh, please.
Anything but a cop.
What's wrong with being a cop? Oh, nothing.
If you're into that kind of a macho power trip.
How could anybody be called Three Zebras? That's it! That's it! What's it? You haven't changed.
That's what you used to always say.
You always used to say that when you were a cop.
Back before you forgot.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You used to hate numbers and code names.
It all came to a head one day when we were driving in my car.
What were you doing in there? I just wanna get my car fixed! I've been in there, on the phone, for 20 minutes trying to prove I exist! Oh.
Did you ever think about it, Starsky? What? Here we go, another day, another dollar.
They're trying to make us into digits, and I'm tired of it.
Hey, hey, hey.
You know, it's important.
I enjoy being Zebra Three.
I don't think I could sleep at night if they took that away from us.
Starsky, they feed us numbers all day long.
They try to make us into one of them.
Zebra Three, 10-4.
Forty buffalo, a gaggle of geese! Or a partridge in a pear tree.
Sounds like Christmas.
That's not funny.
I know it's not funny.
But it's not the end of the world either.
I mean, look at it this way, they could've made us Weimaraner Four.
[BEEPING.]
DISPATCH [OVER POLICE RADIO.]
: Zebra Three.
You see, isn't that beautiful? Ah, let me take it.
No, I got it.
I'll take it.
OK.
Hello, fellow person.
Nice human being, are you calling us? Zebra Three, come in, please.
you talking, 200 antelopes? What are we, a zoo? Who is this? This is Detectives Hutchinson and Starsky.
No numbers today.
What do you wish, warm person? Please talk now.
There's a 187.
That's a dead body in Lincoln Gardens, near the museum.
We're rolling.
Sound familiar to you now? No, not in the slightest.
Good morning! How are we today? We are weird.
We're getting weirder by the minute.
Yes, I can see that.
Time for your medication, Kenneth.
What are you giving him? A painkiller.
What kind of painkiller? Just a small dose of a morphine derivative.
Why are you so curious? Oh, I was just wondering.
How do you know he's not gonna have a reaction to that? Because I checked his medical history.
As always.
Well, sometimes those things don't tell the whole story.
What are you trying to tell her? Well, it's something that happened a couple of years ago.
Not the sort of thing you wanna get around the department.
It wasn't your fault.
He was nabbed by a couple of dope pushers with a score to settle.
They settled it with a needle.
[TYRES SCREECH.]
Hutch, you crazy He's your partner, isn't he? Yeah.
My God, he's a junkie.
Shut up, huh? I'll handle it.
I gotta make a report.
No report.
This didn't happen, Bernie.
Understand? This didn't happen.
I'll take responsibility.
Thanks.
STARSKY: Give me a hand.
Come on, Hutch.
Come on.
Come on.
But you kicked it, cold turkey.
And I was with you every second of the way.
And if you can do that, you can get your memory back.
But, Mr Starky Starsky.
Mr Starky, if that's a sample of my past, I'm not sure I want it back.
Nurse, would you close that curtain? Would you see if you can do something for him? I'm gonna go check out the plumbing.
Why don't we finish our paper later? And I'll take you down for an electroencaphalogram.
Does it hurt? Only if you fall off the examining table.
Now, help me get you out of bed.
OK.
[###.]
WOMAN [OVER PA.]
: Dr Hyatt, Dr Hyatt, report to Admitting.
Well, I guess that Marsha couldn't bear being around such gorgeous creatures, huh? Ah, look, Hutch, I know it's kind of a drag, but The only way that you're gonna find yourself is if we talk about it.
OK, so if you're not in the mood to talk about it, I'll talk about it.
And if you don't like it, you can get yourself transferred out of this room by pushing that button.
OK.
Look, I know you have kind of a dim view about police work, but You know, there are a lot of things to be proud of.
I mean, do you have any idea how many times you laid your life down for another person? Do you remember that little girl that was kidnapped? No, of course you've forgotten it.
But that freak who did it had you running all over the city for the ransom money.
Now, I was backing you up on a motorcycle, but you knew you had that kid's life in your hands.
And you weren't gonna let anything get in your way.
[###.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Yeah? MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: You got 90 seconds to get to the next one.
Go east on Sinclair.
What? HUTCH [OVER HEADSET.]
: [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Eighteen Get away from that phone! Get away from the phone! MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: Not bad, clown.
Why don't we talk? Save your breath, creep.
You're gonna need it.
From now on, you'll only have five rings.
Three blocks north, on Aurora and Pacific, there's a laundromat.
The payphone's in the back.
You only got a minute.
One minute flat.
Laundromat, Aurora and Pacific.
Aurora and Pacific.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
[WOMAN SCREAMS.]
I'm a cop! MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: Hey, baby, it's me, Captain Surreal.
You ain't bad.
You're getting to every place on time, like a choo-choo train.
How do you feel? I'm fine.
I'm just fine.
Listen.
Don't sell me, man.
Can we just talk a minute? Get moving, baby blue.
You got our money.
There's a bar and grill, Get over there or we're gonna cut up the girl.
You've got 30 seconds, Skutch.
[TYRES SCREECH.]
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
That guy must be crazy.
Let's get him around the front.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Don't touch that phone! Yeah? MAN [OVER PHONE.]
: What do you think you're pulling? What are you talking about? You got cops in front of that place! Man, she's gonna die.
We'll let her die, man! Get the hell out of here! I said, get out of here! You see that? He called the cops! Hutch! [GUNSHOT.]
[###.]
STARSKY: Get out of the way! Get out of the way.
MAN: Jesus! I thought you were dead.
Bulletproof vest, remember? I forgot.
Of course, if I hadn't been there backing you up on that motorcycle, who knows what would've happened? WOMAN [OVER PA.]
: Nurse Phillips, report to the maternity ward.
Aren't you glad the EEG checked out? Oh, yeah.
Now I only have to worry about a concussion and a broken arm.
It could be worse.
It would've been better if the guy had learned to use brakes.
What did you say? I said I could be better, but those are the breaks.
[###.]
STARSKY: What do you mean, you don't know how to play pinochle? Just what I said.
But you love pinochle! How can you love something you don't even know how to play? [KNOCKING.]
Hey, hey, hey! Hi there.
What do you say, fellas? [SPEAKS SPANISH.]
STARSKY: Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
Say, Hutchinson, is it true about what they? Are these friends of yours, Starsky? Well, yeah.
I guess you could say that.
You boys wouldn't be in show business, by any chance? He's really lost it, huh? Uh, Hutch.
This is Captain Dobey.
Dopey? Oh, really? You're with the Army, huh? No, he's a police captain.
Oh, a police captain? This character over here, the chief of police? I don't see anything funny about that.
Hey, Hutch, I'm no character.
I'm Huggy Bear.
We go back farther than Lewis and Clark.
Well, you'd think that somebody who dresses the way you do, I wouldn't forget.
You, Captain, no offence meant, but don't you think you should lay off the sweets? I can't wait for him to recover.
Um, you'll be glad to know we captured those guys you were chasing.
That's fantastic.
Isn't that great news, Hutch? Huh? Well, we would've apprehended them ourselves if it hadn't been for that truck.
Yeah, the way you drive, Starsky, I'm surprised you didn't fly over it.
Hey, I was trying to avoid hitting an innocent bystander.
HUTCH: Clever.
Judging from my X-rays, you hit something a lot worse.
I wouldn't talk if I were you.
You know, I've been sitting on something for a long time here.
But the last time we let you behind the wheel, it wasn't exactly a pleasure cruise! You've lost me.
I've lost you? You damn near lost me! STARSKY: Aah! [###.]
Take it easy, take it easy! Every one of those bumps is going right through me.
Sorry, Mr Fortune, but we can't stop again if you wanna get to the airport when you wanted to.
Take it easy.
Hey, we got company.
I feel like I'm eating the desert! STARSKY: Hutch! Hutch! Will you take it easy, Starsk? How are we gonna stop them? Watch this.
STARSKY: Watch out for the tree! HUTCH: What tree? I can't see a bloody thing! Just hang on! STARSKY: Aah! What's the matter? Are you crazy? Take it easy, buddy.
I'm a certified pilot.
STARSKY: Aah! Don't look down, Starsk! STARSKY: Aah! Here they come! FORTUNE: Hey, wait a minute.
Get me out of here.
Now, we're gonna nail them when they come over the top.
Olly olly in free.
Don't move! Hey, I'm unarmed.
Welcome home, Joey.
So don't be giving me grief about my driving, buddy.
According to your story, if it's true, there were no injuries, right? So what? So if I can believe you, when you were driving, we were almost killed.
Ah, quit complaining, will you? You're alive, aren't you? I can't believe that I'd be partners with such a horrible, hostile person.
Horrible? Hostile? If I were really hostile, I'd pop you in the mouth for a crack like that! Ah-ah-ah.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
What's that supposed to mean? How about the time you busted him in that bar on 3rd Street? STARSKY: Come on, Hug, you know it was just an act.
Yeah, well, four bad guys didn't win.
Hey, take it easy, will you? I got the right to remain silent.
That it? That's what they told you? Just trying to help you out, Starsk, that's all.
Well, you got a funny way of showing it, pal.
I blow away a no-good punk and you're ready to help them nail me to the wall.
Nothing's happened yet, Starsky.
You've just been put on suspension, that's all.
There's gonna be a hearing.
And you're gonna testify at that hearing, right, buddy-boy? What are you gonna say at that hearing, huh? You gonna tell them what you said in your report? You gonna tell them what you said out there? Remember? When you found him, he was dead? I'll tell them the truth is what I'll tell them.
Yeah.
Well, let me tell you something, partner.
I don't care about the truth any more.
I've had it up to here.
Ask Nellie.
Bad guys suck it all up.
Hey, listen.
This is HUTCH: That's a little bit hard to believe.
It's the truth.
WOMAN [OVER PA.]
: Dr Bear.
Dr Bear, please call your service.
Oh, um, excuse me.
I told them I was a doctor.
You know, I thought he'd never leave.
Well Hey, uh can one of you tell me where the little boys' room is? It's right there, Captain.
First door.
Thank you.
DOBEY: Don't go away.
Ugh.
So, that's the kind of work you do, huh? What's that? Running around, punching people.
Now, wait a second.
Just not my cup of tea.
Tea? Tea.
Let me ask you something.
In this supposed relationship of ours, have I ever had occasion to punch you in the face? To punch me? Punch.
Punch.
Yeah.
Well, now that you mention it.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Detective Starsky.
I want a coroner's lab and a crime lab A coroner's team and a crime lab at 116 Berkley, apartment two-four.
Twenty-four! Yeah! HUTCH: What's going on? She's dead, Hutch.
Grossman did it.
Grossman.
Who are you talking about? Why would he want to kill her? What, are you crazy? Listen to me, buddy.
I'm listening to what? What is this? What are you doing here? What? Why did Huggy call me? What is this? She was gonna tell you.
Tell me what? She worked for Grossman.
What did you say? The only girls that work for Grossman are hookers.
Are you trying to tell me that Gillian is a hooker? Is that what you're trying to tell me, buddy, friend? That my girl is a hooker? A prostitute? Look around you.
What do you think bought this place? You You liar! You never did like her! You never could understand her! That's not true, and you know it.
Look, the last time we went to Grossman's, I went to the back room, and I saw her in the massage parlour.
So what? She could've been there She could've been there doing an interview.
She could've been talking to some people.
She could've been doing a story.
Come on.
What are you gonna do? You wanna hit me again, huh? Is that what you want? She was a prostitute.
There's nothing you can do or say that's gonna change that fact.
Or the fact that she loved you, and she was about to give all this up just for you.
That's probably why Grossman killed her.
Hey.
How many years have we known each other, huh? You're the best friend I got in the whole world.
You think I like saying things like this to you? STARSKY: It's OK.
It's gonna be OK.
[###.]
[GROANS.]
[EXHALES.]
You awake? Yeah.
You wanna talk? What's there to talk about? Well, I I heard some stories this afternoon about some pretty rough times I had.
And I just want to thank you for being there.
Go to sleep.
It's no big deal.
Yes, it is.
Hey, plenty of times you were there for me.
Yeah? Times there were when I almost packed it in.
You know, I once almost quit the police force? So why didn't you? The only job that you could find me was defensive end on the Canadian football team.
Is that right? I was going through some pretty rough changes then.
You remember Terry? Right, you don't remember anything.
To tell you the truth, when Terry died, I didn't think I had enough strength to remain on this earth.
But you stuck with me.
Canadian football team.
He's a Uh, a friend of my brother-in-law.
Uh, a brother of my friend-in-law in Duluth.
Yeah, his name is Harry.
Harry.
No, not "Harry Harry.
" Will you come on, it's your turn.
Wait a second.
Go ahead and do it for me, will you? One second.
Uh, here it is.
His name is Harry Marri Marrisipio.
Marrisipio, yeah.
You rolled a seven.
Well, this is the front office, isn't it? I mean, this is the Vancouver Lions? Well, he works in that front office.
This is the football office, right? Well, you see, my friend and I want to try out for your football team.
Yeah.
Of course I know what time it is, it's the middle of the night.
No, we're not playing football for anybody right now.
We're policemen, but, um, we're tough.
We're gonna give it up.
We'll quit.
Yeah.
Hello? Hello? He hung up on me.
Will you please give me $70? You know something, you really stink at this game.
The only thing you own is the utilities there.
Yeah? Yeah.
Well, I didn't want to play football in Canada anyway.
It's too cold.
You gotta be a pelican.
Well, we gotta do something, right? If we're not gonna be cops.
Maybe we ought to go down to South America and try robbing banks.
Come on, get serious, will you? [CLOCK CHIMING.]
I should get serious? The man's trying to sign us up for the Canadian Football League.
Here you go, Bronco.
Open it up.
You know, I feel I feel kind of strange.
Hey, it's midnight.
Two weeks.
Terry sent it two weeks after she We should open these.
I'll show you.
[###.]
"A Thousand Ways to Win Monopoly.
" "Hutch.
" That's Ollie.
She used to keep him on the bed with her.
"Dearest Hutch, "To you I entrust "Ollie and Dave.
"Please love them both.
"Don't let either one of them change.
" That's beautiful.
I don't know why Terry got me that book.
I was great at Monopoly.
No, you weren't.
Sure I was.
I used to beat everybody.
You were a rank amateur.
Terry used to roll over you all the time.
What are you talking about? You'd get stomped every time.
I was there, chump.
You were lucky to get a couple of lousy utilities.
Compared to you, Terry looked like Chase Manhattan Bank.
Hutch You're remembering.
Your memory's coming back.
You realise what's happening? You got it.
I never lost it.
I can't believe it, it just What did you say? I never lost it.
I was faking it.
You were faking it? How you doing? How am I doing? Mm-hmm.
I could kill you.
Why? Why? Why could you do this to me? To give you something to consider the next time you double-clutch me into a truck! You put me in a wheelchair.
You lousy phoney! How else could I get a chance to hear these wonderful stories? Wonderful stories, huh? I'll tell you a wonderful You wanna tell wonderful stories? I'll tell you a wonderful story about a wonderful partner who's sitting in this wonderful bed worrying You think about that the next time you push me into [###.]
Good morning, Mr Dobey.
Captain Dobey.
Good morning.
Captain Dobey, isn't it wonderful? What? Mr Sparsky.
He got his memory back.
You mean Mr Hutchinson.
Well, one of the two.
When did this happen? Oh, he's such a devil.
He was faking it all the time.
He never forgot his memory.
Isn't that super? Yeah.
That's super.
And so are you, Miss? Bonnie.
Miss Bonnie.
Oh, this is a pleasant surprise.
You remember Captain? Uh, I think he wants to try to remember it himself.
I'll help you.
OK, watch.
Sounds like Sounds like Sounds like Um Um Um Blimp.
Oh, my head.
I think we'd better lie you down.
I need a vacation.
Excuse us, Captain.
I need a vacation.
Excuse us.
Would you help me into bed? Yeah.
Wrong one.
Over here.
Over here.
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
That's it.
Take it easy.
Would you mind fluffing the pillows? Yeah, yeah.
There you go.
Sit down.
Get your legs up.
Oh, I need a vacation.
There we go.
You want the light on? Oh, no, leave it off.
I have such a headache.
Well, in that case, Captain, would you shut the blinds, please? Are you in pain? Oh, I'm not sure.
Maybe I'd better take your pulse.
Where? What? HUTCH: Where do you wanna take my pulse? [HUTCH AND BONNIE CHUCKLE.]
Oh, my head.
Oh.
Uh OK.
Would you like the bed raised? Oh, yes.
I think so.
Captain, would you mind? Oh.
Thank you.
Oh, my God, his pulse is going like a crazy thing.
I think I'd better get you something to slow it down.
OK? [BONNIE CHUCKLES.]
You guys are so cute.
I mean, I can't remember the last time that anybody faked amnesia.
[###.]
Comfortable? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That means stop.
This means go.
I'll see you both tomorrow morning, 6am, Traffic Control.
And, uh, bring your whistles.
Mmm