The Cleveland Show s03e21 Episode Script

My name is Cleveland Brown And I am proud to be Right back in my hometown With my new family There's old friends and new friends And even a bear Through good times and bad times It's true love we share And so I found a place Where everyone will know My happy mustached face This is The Cleveland Show.
We now return to It's the Great Pumpkin, Chris Brown.
Come on! Pumpkin-ass bitch! Oh, I'm sorry.
Y'all know that's not me.
Nobody wants to hear that now, you blockhead! What'd you call me?! Come here! Come here! Help! Come back over here, you little slut! Why are we left alone in a pumpkin patch after midnight? Good grief.
Where are my blue earrings? Oh, if I only had someone who was good at finding things to help me.
Ooh, ooh, Mama! I'm good at finding things! I don't know, Rallo I need a real expert here.
I can do it! I can find anyth He can't find jack! I'm the best at finding things.
I call myself The Finder.
That's also the title of my pilot for TNT.
We're out to Elliot Gould.
Fox already has a show by that title.
Had.
Now, as for my earrings Find them.
Lemme find them.
! Pick me! Pick me! Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me! All right.
How about you both look and whoever finds them gets Chocolate milk?! Chocolate milk?! Chocolate milk.
Hey! You got them trained.
What are they looking for this time? My earrings.
They're in the cup holder in your car! He's The Finder He'll find your stuff Da-da-da-da-da-da Just find The Finder Mama, can I have some chocolate milk, too, for trying? Of course, you can have some when you actually find something.
Well, I'm off to the grocery store.
Don't forget that stuff Mrs.
Lowenstein needs you to buy me for the recital this Sunday.
Oh, for Mother's Day? Uh, you mean "Other's Day.
" 'Cause Sunday's just an other day.
Nothing special.
Nothing special, my fanny! Check out what I made for my mommy for Mommy's Day.
I made a bust of my mom's head.
It's also a volcano! Spew spew spew Well, I'm running late for weeping in my car.
Good-bye! Have you lost your mind? You don't mention Mother's Day in front of her.
The woman was abandoned at birth by her mother.
Donna was? Oh, yeah.
Poor Donna.
Well, I'd better talk to her.
Good thing I've been practicing my listening face.
Cleveland, what the hell are you doing? Listening! You know you can talk to me about anything.
Anything at all.
That's sweet.
Mother.
Talk to me about your mother.
My mother? Oh, you wanna talk about your mother who abandoned you? Okay.
Look, every year around this time, I get a little emotional.
I miss having a mom.
I asked Auntie Mama to track her down when I was a kid, but she couldn't find her.
Donna, why you trying to box with God when the rainbow is enough? Honey, just know that you are beloved, and the family that prays will shine brighter than fences painted the color purple.
Thanks, Auntie Mama.
Ooh! Excuse me! How embarrassing! I am so, so sorry.
Auntie Mama, you never have to apologize to me.
You can be as outrageous as you want to be.
You know what? Maybe I am a little outrageous.
I am! I'm outrageous! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! What an origin story.
I don't know why my mother left.
I don't know anything about her.
She could walk past me on the street and I wouldn't even recognize her.
Then maybe it's time you called The Finder.
Not Fox's Finder.
I'll tell you what he was looking for an audience.
I'm sorry! Please don't cancel me! I'm a company man! Cleveland, you're not finding anybody.
Cleveland is finding somebody! I'm finding your mother.
The Finder! She's not in the cup holder! Back of the bus! All right.
Stick to the script, please.
Next Rosa! You're a little fat and a little manly.
You should talk.
Cleveland? Auntie Mama, you haven't changed a bit.
Have you? Now, Cleveland, every girl has to have her secrets.
What do you want? I need your help to find Donna's mom.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't help you with that.
But you must know where she is.
She's your sister and she entrusted you, or a version of you, to raise Donna as your daughter, or your son.
I don't know how these things work in your community, which I respect but don't want to know anything more about.
I did try to find her.
But I came up empty every time.
Did it ever occur to you that Did it ever occur to you that Dee Dee might not want to be found? Who's Dee Dee? Dorothy.
Who's Dorothy? Dorothy "Dee Dee" Tubbs.
Donna's mama.
Donna? Tubbs! Your wife! Dee Dee's daughter.
Oh! I'm sorry.
I should start listening better.
Good-bye, Cleveland.
It's not for me, you know.
It's for Donna.
She's hurting.
We both love her.
We should both help her.
She really needs this bad, huh? No, it's just her mom! Should we see if we can dig anything up at the Hall of Records? Yes! To the Hall of Records! Meanwhile, at the Hall of Records I'm sorry.
I can't look up a person's file just because you want to find them.
But perhaps a dead president could convince me.
Fine, if that's how you want to do this.
I'm Ronald Reagan.
Please tell Cleveland where Dorothy Tubbs is, you gipper.
My place in history is debatable.
Okay, that was pretty good.
Dorothy Tubbs.
Last I have is a driver's license renewal in 1992, but after that, nothing.
She's either hiding or dead.
Dag, we got nothing.
Wait! Would you mind doing Reagan for my boss, Tracy? What? Contrary to popular belief, I raised taxes 11 times during my presidency.
Oh, my God.
Why did I ever think I could help Donna? I don't even know anything about her mother.
For all I know, any of the women here could be Donna's mom.
She could be Donna's mom.
She could be Donna's mom.
She could be I have a terrible idea.
Happy Mother's Day, Donna! Hello, Donna.
I'm your mother, Cee Cee Dee Dee.
Oh, boy.
Dee Dee.
My mother? Yes, Dorothy "Dee Dee" Tubbs.
Mid-60s, African-American female.
Think C.
C.
H.
Pounder.
Now you two just sit down, quickly catch up on the last four decades-- broad strokes-- hug, hug, cry, cry, then first thing in the morning, your mom goes bye-bye forever.
You're a better finder than me.
Guess I should turn in my badge and gun.
Holy , it's real! I'm gonna go put on my sweatpants and hang out with the New York Giants at a nightclub.
You're not one of those grandmothers who like to carry peppermint candies, are you? I'm sorry.
Loose gum? Roll from lunch? Cough drop? Excuse me? Just give me your damn purse.
Nasal inhaler? All right.
Ah.
It's a beautiful day.
So, let's start this slow.
What do you do for a living? Oh, I'm a astronaut assistant.
Wow.
Really? An astronaut's assistant? That's a common occupation.
You know, you and I do not look much alike.
You know what, Donna, I'll take that reward chocolate milk now.
Can't you make your own? It's chocolate mixed with mi Bup, bup, bup.
Maintain the magic.
Cleveland.
Excuse me for a moment.
Astronaut? Your resume had "improv" under special skills.
I'm starting to wonder if you can really do rope tricks.
Uh-yum.
I've been thinking about this moment my whole life, but now that it's here, I don't know what to say.
Great! Well, you've met.
All is forgiven All right, Dee Dee, thanks for stopping by.
Don't you want to know why I left? What?! I do.
Yes, I do.
Because I knew in my heart that I couldn't give you any more or any less than all of my heart.
And since I could not give that to you, I had to give you to the world.
And scene.
You did the best you could.
I feel bad for my dumb wife.
So, who was my father? How should I know? Okay, well, we're all very emotional right now.
But if we're gonna get you to the Days Inn by sundown Cleveland, she's staying here.
In our bed.
Fine, but she's not allowed to look while we're doing our maritals.
You know, Rallo has his recital this Sunday.
I wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow.
I do too, baby If wishes were horses, and horses were cars, we'd have a dealership.
which is why I have decided to stay.
That's wonderful.
I'll clear out a drawer for you.
Cleveland, you don't need all these shirts.
Look, Shirl, it is time for you to go.
I don't know what made you think you could barge into my home and pretend you're my wife's mother, but the show is over.
Are you kidding? This is the easiest money I've ever made.
Oh, I'm not letting the curtain close on this.
I'll stop paying you.
Fine, then I'll tell her everything.
Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't think of that.
Mother, tell your children not to walk my way Oh, mother! Not about to see your light And if you want to find hell with me I can show you what it's like Till I'm bleeding! Okay, that's enough Danzig, Rallo.
Cleveland, after this, you should take all us to brunch.
Brunch?! But that's breakfast and lunch! I'm buying two meals for each person?! You mother faker.
Up next, we have a special request from Rallo's mother, who is celebrating her first Mother's Day with her mother.
I, of course, have no children because I was brought up to believe I was too good for everybody.
Donna Tubbs.
I know we only met a few days ago, but it feels like I've known you my whole life.
And I look forward to a long and wonderful future together.
This song is about something I've always dreamed of baking with my mother.
"Hot Cross Buns.
" Oh! Yeah, she can't play that thing right.
Why, why, why?! Uh, Donna, you wanna hear something funny? I never want to see you again! First of all, that's unrealistic.
Second of all, can you throw my jacket down next? It's getting a little chilly.
No.
It's on the hook in my closet! Donna, I only lied to make you happy! Whoo, ooh, a yard sale! Oh, hey, Michael McDonald.
Do you have this in a medium? No.
I didn't bring my wallet anyway! Hey, Cleveland, you okay, man? Wife kicked me out of the house.
Living with my parents.
Dad made me pay first, last, and security.
Yeah, I'm great.
Well, we're male friends, so I'll take that at face value and look no further into it.
Later, Bud! Cleveland Brown? I'm Dee Dee Tubbs.
Who the hell are you and why did you kill me? Holy! Wha? Oh! Oh! I'm gonna need at least five commercials to take this all in.
And then the woman you hired to play me died, so they issued a death certificate in my name, which led to my mortgage being cancelled and my Curves membership being suspended.
That's where embarrassed women work out.
I guess I didn't think this through even more than I thought.
But hey, now that you're here, you and Donna can reunite.
And our wedding registry's still open, so there's that No.
Absolutely not.
I came here to clean things up, not complicate them.
Come on.
You have to meet her.
She's an amazing woman.
She can bench-press twice her weight.
It's remarkable.
She's like an ant.
Well, upper-body strength runs in the family, but I'm not interested.
Now, come on.
Let's go.
Hey! We're going to the courthouse to clear this mess up so I can have my life back.
Put me down! Or lift me a little higher so I can touch the ceiling! Did it! It's uncanny.
That's exactly where Donna sits when we're in the car together and she lets me drive.
So how is she otherwise? Don't know.
She kicked me out.
She got a temper, does she? That's from me.
You wouldn't also happen to be responsible for her being cold whenever we go anywhere? No, that's just all women.
Well, nothing would warm Donna up more than the fuzzy turtleneck of a long-lost mother's return.
Poetic.
Look, I left her.
And there's no point in opening old wounds.
It'll be too painful for her, and I, well I have too many regrets.
Like, what else? Believe me, I'd love to see my daughter.
But there's no way I could do it without all the baggage getting in the way.
Hmm.
What if you could see how great your daughter was without her knowing who you were? And nobody would get hurt? Nobody.
Except the two of us.
Oh, I have airbags! Cleveland, what happened?! I hit a tree, and they gave me this free dress.
Mr.
Brown, we need to put you in the hallway for 20 minutes while you wait to have an X-ray.
Okay! Don't worry.
Edna will keep you company.
Who's Edna? That'd be me.
Oh, hi.
I'm Donna Tubbs.
You're a beautiful woman.
I like you.
Drink? Now I'm falling in love.
So, you from Stoolbend? Originally, but I've lived all over.
Probably easier to tell you the places I haven't lived.
Africa, Asia, Pacific Northwest You know, probably easier to tell you the places I have lived.
Stoolbend, Detroit Detroit? Where the buildings cost a dollar and they won't put up the Robocop statue? Wow, you must have some stories.
Sure do.
And I'll start with the story of you giving me back that flask.
A long time ago, before you were born-- I'm guessing-- I joined a girls' singing group.
All my life, that's all I wanted to do, be a musician.
We were called The Towelettes, three of the baddest belters to ever step on stage.
And our lyrics reflected the turbulence of the time.
Baby, be a baby for your baby, baby, maybe! Vietnam! Sorry, girls, but I gotta bump you.
There's a new act in town that's just a little more interesting.
Kill the pope! Kill the pope! Kill the pope Kill the Pope! The competition was fierce, and we were down on our luck.
Then we found out our record was climbing the charts in Germany! Ooh, at the Epcot? Girl, no, the real Germany.
Und now to get super funky, jazzy, baby, yeah, American style make noisy hands for Das Towelettes! Baby, be a baby for your baby, baby, maybe! Civil rights! We had made it.
In Germany, we were bigger than organized hatred.
So, did you ever have any kids or abortions? There was one child, but the timing couldn't have been worse.
Good news, ladies! I got you booked on the next American Bandshtung.
I was 19.
I didn't know how to be a mother, and there were so many people counting on me.
And-and I guess I just couldn't let go of my dream.
So I took my daughter back to my brother in Virginia.
Take good care of her, Kevin.
You'll be her uncle and her daddy.
Maybe you can call yourself Uncle Daddy.
Or something like that, yeah.
I knew my baby was in good hands, but I've regretted that decision ever since.
You were 19 and scared.
What choice did you have? I couldn't help but overhearing.
So, Donna, you understand why this woman gave up her daughter? I think so.
Well, then, Donna, once again, I gotta tell you something funny.
This woman is not Edna Uhmalmahay.
This is Dee Dee Tubbs, your real mother! What?! Donna, I did it! I found her just like I promised! And you like her! And she likes you! Happy Mother's D See how she do me, Dee Dee? See how she do? Donna, don't be mad at Cleveland! Yeah.
As crazy as his scheme was, I'm glad he did it.
Because without that, I'm not sure I would've been brave enough to face you.
Why not? I was ashamed.
And thanks to Cleveland, while I'll walk with a limp for the rest of my life The doctor said "may.
" May walk with a limp for the rest of my life, it was worth it just to see you again.
Happy day! Oh, Cleveland.
Don't hit me! I'm not going to.
Thank you, Cleveland.
Oh.
You're welcome.
I probably won't put this much effort into anything for you ever again.
Mr.
Brown, we really do need you in X-ray.
The doctor believes you might have some internal bleeding.
Let me give you a little tip, Nursie, it's bad when the blood is outside your body.
I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Donna, and I know we've got a long road ahead of us.
I'm just asking to be a part of your life.
I'm not calling you "Mom.
" I'll call you "Mama.
" Wait a minute.
You said you gave me to your brother to raise.
But I was raised by Auntie Mama.
Who's Auntie Mama? "Who's Auntie Mama?!" I'm outrageous! Oh, my God.
Kevin.