Clarence US (2014) s03e22 Episode Script
Missing Cat
1 [Remote clicks.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Cats meowing melodically.]
[Groaning.]
[Chanting "Chelsea!".]
Give up, Chelsea.
I've got you on the ropes! [Grunting.]
[Groans.]
[Crowd gasps.]
Ugh! [All cheering.]
I don't know why everyone always wants me to do this.
She's got the best muscles! Watch out for Chelsea.
She's going to rip your arms off! All: Chelsea's the strongest! She'll rip your arms off! [Grunting.]
Hey, Chels, would you help me with the groceries? Hyah! [Grunting.]
- Did you lock the car? - Yep! Thank you! Keys? [Grunts.]
[Gasps.]
What about the front door? You know how Crumbles likes to get out.
Yeah, yeah.
Dad, I did everything.
You're a regular superhero, Chelsea! - Now, go feed the cat.
- On it! Crumbles! Crumbles?! Crumbles? Stop messing with me, you bad kitty! [Gasps.]
Oh, no! - Come on, Chelsea! - Hey, so, uh, I feel like people - are probably expecting a rematch? - Yeah, you could probably - break his arms this time.
- Wait, what?! No.
Guys, I'm I'm really not feeling it today.
[Glue squelches.]
Chelsea, I brought some protractors so we can draw curvies on the foldy board.
I can do it myself.
Just go sit in the corner.
But it's a group project.
Yeah, and the group is over there in the corner.
Hey, Percy, do you notice how weird Chelsea is being today? How come she don't want any help with the project? She kicked us all out, and now we're just sitting here.
Yeah, but I like the corner.
It's soft.
Hmm.
- Hey, Chelsea! - Oh, uh, hey.
Hm? Oh, cool drawing.
Um, hey, if something's bothering you, you can tell me.
Uh, you don't have to.
[Sighs.]
Whoa! That's so good! - How'd you do that!? - If you draw overlapping shapes, - it creates the illusion of depth.
- That is cool.
- Clarence, I lost my cat.
- You have a cat? Yep, his names is Crumbles, and I lost him.
I used to have a cat, but he was mean.
He'd bite and scratch me all the time.
So when he ran away, my mom said, "Bye, cat! We don't miss you!" [Chuckles.]
'Cause we didn't.
Well, see ya later! Wait, "see you later," what? [Screams.]
Let me in! What are you doing here, Clarence?! I told you I'd see you later.
So, first, what we gotta do is you catch the mice, and then you use the mice to catch the cats! What?! What are you talking about? Crumbles doesn't even eat mice.
He eats this.
- Special food, huh? - Yeah, it's a pro-biotic.
Listen, Clarence, I don't need any help.
[Grunting.]
H-Hey! So now we usually just wait for the cats to show up.
Whoa.
This stuff takes forever to make! I'm better off on my own.
Wait! What does Crumbles look like? He's gray, he's got a big, beautiful tail, and green eyes.
- Bye, Clarence.
- Think about it this way, how many eyes do you have? A million, Clarence.
I have a million eyes.
Well, I have two, so as a team we have a million and two eyes.
Anyway, bet you already tried looking by yourself, and I bet that didn't work.
[Growls.]
First step, we gotta learn to think like a cat.
Let's go find my friend, Richard, the cat expert! Richard! [Purring, meows.]
Richard is a cat? Oh, my gosh! What's wrong?! [Meows.]
Uh-huh.
[Meows.]
Okay.
Chelsea, wait! He's got a thorn in his paw.
Clarence, we gotta find my cat! He needs a surgery.
Just look at him! [Groans.]
- Nurse, tweezers! - Doctor! - Hold him down! [Meows.]
- Sorry, Richard.
[Cat mewling loudly.]
[Music.]
Hello, police? I think there is a cat murder happening right outside my house.
Man: I'll connect you.
Please hurry! [Telephones ringing.]
What's that?! A cold baby raccoon? Get that baby raccoon a blanket! [Telephones continue ringing.]
A limping hummingbird? Give that sweet bird a massage! What?! Someone's killing cats?! Sweet baby mercy! [Ringing continues.]
- Ah! - It's okay now, Richard.
It's all over.
[Panting, meows softly.]
Oh, no! There's thorns everywhere! Oh, gotta get every last one.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Clarence, I gotta get back to finding Crumbles.
If we're gonna find a cat, we gotta think like a cat! Help me out here, Richard.
[Purring.]
[Grunting.]
Crumbles! Come on, I got your favorite food! Think like a cat, think like a cat, think like a cat.
Think like a cat, think like a cat.
Ha, I'm a cat.
[Mews.]
[Mews.]
Scram! [Mumbling.]
Huh? [Meows.]
[Sighs.]
[Gasps.]
Oh, my gosh! [Grunts.]
Crumbles! Where are you?! Crumbles? [Hisses.]
You're not Crumbles.
Hmm? Crumbles? I found it, Chelsea! [Screams.]
Cat heaven! Ugh, Clarence, what did you put on your face? I'm telling you, I never seen so many cats, Chelsea! - Crumbles gotta be there! - Hmm.
[Grunts.]
This place is pretty empty for a cat heaven.
[Clangs.]
Whoa! Are you okay?! Huh? [Rustling.]
[Music.]
[Hisses.]
[Growling.]
Okay, that's a lot of cats.
Whoa, there! Uh Whoa! - Chelsea! - Not now, Clarence.
I-I'm handling this! She's gonna be cat food.
[Gasps.]
- Chelsea! - Huh? Plan "B"! Uh-oh.
[Meowing.]
[Screeching.]
Uh Aah! [Music.]
Whoa! [Rumbling.]
My word it's happening.
The purge! I'm coming, partner! [Grunting.]
[Grunts.]
Ha! Cats are dumb! [Screams.]
[Grunting.]
Phew! [Cat meows.]
Aah! [Screams.]
- No, no, no, no, no! - Clarence! [Growls.]
It's gonna eat us all! Crumbles! [Meows sweetly.]
- Clarence, you found him! - That's your cat? That's the ugliest, meanest cat I've ever seen ever in my life.
And you said she was gray! That cat is not gray, Chelsea, that's brown.
- She's brown! - He.
And thanks for finding him! - We found her.
- Him.
[Rumbling.]
Huh? [Cats screeching.]
[Music.]
[Both scream.]
Excuse me! Have either of you been witness to any cat murders tonight? [Roars.]
[Screaming.]
[Meowing.]
[Giggling.]
Sweet mercy! They're eating a child.
Oh! You open up that hydrant! - Huh? - And make it snappy! Clarence, hold on! You're gonna be okay! Sit tight, Crumbles.
[Groans.]
My wrench! [Grunting.]
Bad kitty! Bad kitties! Start the car, now! Huh?! [Groaning.]
Nooo! [Screeching.]
[Laughs.]
- Dang! - Come on! Drive! - Yay! - We did it! You know, you two make a pretty good team! How about I make you both honorary rangers? Both: Yay! All right, team! First order of business, we find out who this cat murder is, and then I'm gonna kill 'em.
[Gulps.]
[Chuckle nervously.]
You know what? It's late, we should probably just go home! [Video game music plays.]
- I found the cat! - The cat was missing? Uh, yeah! But it's cool! Me and Clarence found him! You teamed up with someone to find your cat? You know what they say, Dad a million and two eyes is better than one million eyes.
Uh, well the math checks out! [Video game music continues.]
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Cats meowing melodically.]
[Groaning.]
[Chanting "Chelsea!".]
Give up, Chelsea.
I've got you on the ropes! [Grunting.]
[Groans.]
[Crowd gasps.]
Ugh! [All cheering.]
I don't know why everyone always wants me to do this.
She's got the best muscles! Watch out for Chelsea.
She's going to rip your arms off! All: Chelsea's the strongest! She'll rip your arms off! [Grunting.]
Hey, Chels, would you help me with the groceries? Hyah! [Grunting.]
- Did you lock the car? - Yep! Thank you! Keys? [Grunts.]
[Gasps.]
What about the front door? You know how Crumbles likes to get out.
Yeah, yeah.
Dad, I did everything.
You're a regular superhero, Chelsea! - Now, go feed the cat.
- On it! Crumbles! Crumbles?! Crumbles? Stop messing with me, you bad kitty! [Gasps.]
Oh, no! - Come on, Chelsea! - Hey, so, uh, I feel like people - are probably expecting a rematch? - Yeah, you could probably - break his arms this time.
- Wait, what?! No.
Guys, I'm I'm really not feeling it today.
[Glue squelches.]
Chelsea, I brought some protractors so we can draw curvies on the foldy board.
I can do it myself.
Just go sit in the corner.
But it's a group project.
Yeah, and the group is over there in the corner.
Hey, Percy, do you notice how weird Chelsea is being today? How come she don't want any help with the project? She kicked us all out, and now we're just sitting here.
Yeah, but I like the corner.
It's soft.
Hmm.
- Hey, Chelsea! - Oh, uh, hey.
Hm? Oh, cool drawing.
Um, hey, if something's bothering you, you can tell me.
Uh, you don't have to.
[Sighs.]
Whoa! That's so good! - How'd you do that!? - If you draw overlapping shapes, - it creates the illusion of depth.
- That is cool.
- Clarence, I lost my cat.
- You have a cat? Yep, his names is Crumbles, and I lost him.
I used to have a cat, but he was mean.
He'd bite and scratch me all the time.
So when he ran away, my mom said, "Bye, cat! We don't miss you!" [Chuckles.]
'Cause we didn't.
Well, see ya later! Wait, "see you later," what? [Screams.]
Let me in! What are you doing here, Clarence?! I told you I'd see you later.
So, first, what we gotta do is you catch the mice, and then you use the mice to catch the cats! What?! What are you talking about? Crumbles doesn't even eat mice.
He eats this.
- Special food, huh? - Yeah, it's a pro-biotic.
Listen, Clarence, I don't need any help.
[Grunting.]
H-Hey! So now we usually just wait for the cats to show up.
Whoa.
This stuff takes forever to make! I'm better off on my own.
Wait! What does Crumbles look like? He's gray, he's got a big, beautiful tail, and green eyes.
- Bye, Clarence.
- Think about it this way, how many eyes do you have? A million, Clarence.
I have a million eyes.
Well, I have two, so as a team we have a million and two eyes.
Anyway, bet you already tried looking by yourself, and I bet that didn't work.
[Growls.]
First step, we gotta learn to think like a cat.
Let's go find my friend, Richard, the cat expert! Richard! [Purring, meows.]
Richard is a cat? Oh, my gosh! What's wrong?! [Meows.]
Uh-huh.
[Meows.]
Okay.
Chelsea, wait! He's got a thorn in his paw.
Clarence, we gotta find my cat! He needs a surgery.
Just look at him! [Groans.]
- Nurse, tweezers! - Doctor! - Hold him down! [Meows.]
- Sorry, Richard.
[Cat mewling loudly.]
[Music.]
Hello, police? I think there is a cat murder happening right outside my house.
Man: I'll connect you.
Please hurry! [Telephones ringing.]
What's that?! A cold baby raccoon? Get that baby raccoon a blanket! [Telephones continue ringing.]
A limping hummingbird? Give that sweet bird a massage! What?! Someone's killing cats?! Sweet baby mercy! [Ringing continues.]
- Ah! - It's okay now, Richard.
It's all over.
[Panting, meows softly.]
Oh, no! There's thorns everywhere! Oh, gotta get every last one.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Clarence, I gotta get back to finding Crumbles.
If we're gonna find a cat, we gotta think like a cat! Help me out here, Richard.
[Purring.]
[Grunting.]
Crumbles! Come on, I got your favorite food! Think like a cat, think like a cat, think like a cat.
Think like a cat, think like a cat.
Ha, I'm a cat.
[Mews.]
[Mews.]
Scram! [Mumbling.]
Huh? [Meows.]
[Sighs.]
[Gasps.]
Oh, my gosh! [Grunts.]
Crumbles! Where are you?! Crumbles? [Hisses.]
You're not Crumbles.
Hmm? Crumbles? I found it, Chelsea! [Screams.]
Cat heaven! Ugh, Clarence, what did you put on your face? I'm telling you, I never seen so many cats, Chelsea! - Crumbles gotta be there! - Hmm.
[Grunts.]
This place is pretty empty for a cat heaven.
[Clangs.]
Whoa! Are you okay?! Huh? [Rustling.]
[Music.]
[Hisses.]
[Growling.]
Okay, that's a lot of cats.
Whoa, there! Uh Whoa! - Chelsea! - Not now, Clarence.
I-I'm handling this! She's gonna be cat food.
[Gasps.]
- Chelsea! - Huh? Plan "B"! Uh-oh.
[Meowing.]
[Screeching.]
Uh Aah! [Music.]
Whoa! [Rumbling.]
My word it's happening.
The purge! I'm coming, partner! [Grunting.]
[Grunts.]
Ha! Cats are dumb! [Screams.]
[Grunting.]
Phew! [Cat meows.]
Aah! [Screams.]
- No, no, no, no, no! - Clarence! [Growls.]
It's gonna eat us all! Crumbles! [Meows sweetly.]
- Clarence, you found him! - That's your cat? That's the ugliest, meanest cat I've ever seen ever in my life.
And you said she was gray! That cat is not gray, Chelsea, that's brown.
- She's brown! - He.
And thanks for finding him! - We found her.
- Him.
[Rumbling.]
Huh? [Cats screeching.]
[Music.]
[Both scream.]
Excuse me! Have either of you been witness to any cat murders tonight? [Roars.]
[Screaming.]
[Meowing.]
[Giggling.]
Sweet mercy! They're eating a child.
Oh! You open up that hydrant! - Huh? - And make it snappy! Clarence, hold on! You're gonna be okay! Sit tight, Crumbles.
[Groans.]
My wrench! [Grunting.]
Bad kitty! Bad kitties! Start the car, now! Huh?! [Groaning.]
Nooo! [Screeching.]
[Laughs.]
- Dang! - Come on! Drive! - Yay! - We did it! You know, you two make a pretty good team! How about I make you both honorary rangers? Both: Yay! All right, team! First order of business, we find out who this cat murder is, and then I'm gonna kill 'em.
[Gulps.]
[Chuckle nervously.]
You know what? It's late, we should probably just go home! [Video game music plays.]
- I found the cat! - The cat was missing? Uh, yeah! But it's cool! Me and Clarence found him! You teamed up with someone to find your cat? You know what they say, Dad a million and two eyes is better than one million eyes.
Uh, well the math checks out! [Video game music continues.]
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose