George Lopez (2002) s03e22 Episode Script
Dance Fever
- George, sign these.
- What is it? We need two weeks off for our honeymoon.
I can't believe I'm actually gonna be married to this lady! I get to go to bed with her, wake up with her, have dinner with her go to bed with her, wake up with her, have dinner with her! You get to clip her nails, brush her coat and hide her pills in peanut butter.
I can't wait to go on a honeymoon.
Go someplace with nice beaches, cold beer, and really hot women.
Heh, heh, heh.
What about your wife? Oh, that's right.
I'll be married.
God, I haven't even met her yet and she's already ruining my vacation.
I want everybody on the floor right away.
Especially you, George.
- What's that about? - I don't know.
Did you put the drill back? All right, listen up, everybody.
This is important.
George has done something and I don't want it to go unnoticed.
I wasn't sick, Jack.
It was opening day, all right.
I did have a fever.
I just didn't say that it was Dodger fever.
That's not it, George.
Although you did just lose a personal day.
I'm gonna make this announcement, I'd like to introduce somebody you know.
- Angie Lopez.
ERNIE: Hey, Angie's here.
- What's going on? - You'll see.
I am pleased to announce that the Southern California Minorities and Business Association has named our very own George Lopez as the recipient of its Rising Star award.
ERNIE: Yeah! Look at George! Congratulations, honey.
Wow.
"In recognition of excellence in management.
" I've never won anything before.
ANGIE: That's not true.
- You won my heart.
ALL: Aw.
MAN: Aren't they cute? Now, why you gotta do that while at work? Watch out.
George, you deserve this award.
I nominated you because, well, you keep this place running smooth and you got us through the shutdown this year.
When we go up for government contracts this minority award will help us play the race card, amigo.
Jack, hey, remember the rule.
You don't call me "amigo" and you don't high-five Jermaine.
My bad.
Anyway, after the presentation on Saturday I'm throwing a big reception at Thirsty's.
MAN: Yeah! Oh, time to celebrate with a toast.
ALL: Yeah! - Who wants sparkling cider? - Ugh.
ERNIE: I don't want my sparkling cider.
Oh, come on! You guys build planes.
ERNIE: Way to go, George.
- Yeah.
Congratulations, George.
- Thanks, Randy.
- I'm so proud of you, honey.
- Thanks, baby.
So, Benny, what do you think? Your son is outstanding minority businessman of the year.
Yeah.
You know, someday he'll be good enough to win a white guy's award.
GEORGE: And to my mother.
I wish she'd live to see this day but I know she's down there right now looking up at me.
And she's saying, "Oh, my flesh is burning!" Ay! [BLOWING.]
- Can I have the rest of the frosting? - No.
For Great American Bake Sale.
We're raising money for hungry children.
Did you know one out of every four persons in the soup kitchen line is a child? Did you know that one out of every two people in this kitchen doesn't care and just wants frosting? Ow! Ow! Ow! You can't hit me hard enough to stop me.
Ah! I'm full.
- Hey.
- Congratulations! GEORGE: Thank you.
Hey.
Oh, check out that banner.
Made it for you on the computer in special ed class.
Yeah.
"Congradulashuns.
" How does this kid find his way home? So did everyone go crazy at work? Not everybody.
- Come on, Angie, let it go.
- Oh, come on.
Why can't your own mother, one time compliment you when you do something good? Why start now? I mean, she's never given me credit for anything.
In Little League when I hit my first home run, she said, "That's great.
Babe Ruth hit 714 of them.
" Wow, 714? That's a lot.
It was my first home run.
Babe Ruth never faced a 19-year-old Dominican who said he was 12.
Angie, he drove to the game! [CAR HORN HONKING.]
Kids, that's your ride to the movies.
Call when you're ready to be picked up.
CARMEN: Okay.
ANGIE: Go.
See you.
Look, you might be used to your mother's attitude, but I'm not.
This is a big award.
You are the rising star among all the other minorities in L.
A.
And that includes Asians.
Look, I don't need her approval to feel good about myself, okay? Why does it bother you? I just think it's a cycle that should be broken.
As a child, Benny was never praised, so she didn't learn how to praise you.
That's why it's hard for you to praise the kids.
Look, I praise the kids, okay? I bet Max he couldn't run to the kitchen and get me a beer in 15 seconds.
And when it took him 17, I still said, "Nice job, son.
Don't worry.
Get another chance at half time.
" Look, I'm over it, okay? It doesn't bother me because my mom cannot compliment anyone, okay? She's not capable of it.
You're right.
I'm letting your mother ruin the celebration and she's not even here.
So why don't you come on outside.
- I wanna give you your surprise.
- What is it? - You'll see.
- All right.
[ANGIE WHISTLES.]
Lie down.
I didn't take a shower, Angie.
- Do it.
- All right.
- Uh-uh-uh.
On your back.
- Heh, heh, heh.
I believe somebody ordered a George sunny-side up.
Watch out.
Now, I figure since you are a rising star - Heh, heh, heh.
that I should buy you a star and name it after you.
That's right.
You can buy me, you can name me, but you can't tame me.
That's what I'm talking What? What? Star what? I went online and I bought you a star.
I think it's, um right there.
Which one? Right there! Feast your eyes on XP375J Lopez.
- Make a wish.
- Okay.
But I'd like to feast my eyes on 36C Lopez.
[ANGIE CHUCKLING.]
Thanks, honey, but I'm actually a 34B.
You said make a wish.
ERNIE: Hey, there he is! It's George! MAN: Hey! This is the best night ever.
Hey, all right, bro! Congratulations! Look, Angie, he's all sweaty.
He's out of breath.
Looks like he's gonna throw up.
Somebody's ready to ask a girl out.
No.
I'm all sweaty because they put in this new game.
It's called Pump It Up.
It's got these arrows and these lights, and you gotta step where it tells you to.
Watch out.
Like this: [ERNIE HUMMING.]
Wow.
While you were describing it, it sounded stupid.
- But now ERNIE: Huh? Listen up, everybody.
I wanna propose a toast.
Seventeen years ago, I took a chance on this guy.
No matter what the job, he proved himself time and time again.
Wow, thanks, Jack.
ALL: Yeah! Oh, sure, I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life.
Like not moving the entire plant to China.
But then I'd be giving this speech in Cantonese.
Heh.
It would be to a bunch of peasants who make 10 cents an hour.
Heh, heh.
"You want a 10 percent raise? No problem.
Here's a penny.
" Heh, heh.
Yeah, well, the one choice I never regretted was hiring George Lopez.
- Wow, thanks, Jack.
That was beautiful.
ERNIE: Yeah.
Speech! Speech! Hey, say something.
I wouldn't be holding this award today if it weren't for one special person.
Somebody who I've never really taken the time to thank publicly.
Oh, honey.
Not you.
Me.
I worked hard for this award, Angie.
Give it up for me.
Benny, you missed a wonderful awards banquet honoring your son.
Yeah.
Who parked your car tonight, last year's winner? [LAUGHING.]
I got it, babe.
I got the job! BENNY: For reals? Oh! - Randy, what's going on? - Oh.
Uh I'm sorry to have to give you my notice, George but I got ajob managing an office supply warehouse in Torrance! Congratulations, baby.
Hey, everybody.
A toast to my man, Randy.
He just made manager! [CROWD CHEERING.]
I am so proud of you.
After all these years, my mom still finds a way to make me feel horrible.
How can something so small be so evil? It's like they drained all the water out and made pure concentrated evil.
You know, like, for campers or something.
Why do I let her get to me, Angie? - I'm a grown man, right? - Yes.
- This is my night.
My night.
- Your night.
Yes.
CROWD: Randy! Randy! - Randy! Randy! Randy! - My man can do it! - He's gonna break the record! CROWD: Randy! Randy! MAN 1: Come on! MAN 2: Yes! You can do it! You can do it! MAN 3: Come on! Come on, Randy! BENNY: There you go! MAN 4: Come on, Randy! Come on! [GAME BEEPING AND MUSIC STOPS.]
[CROWD GROANING.]
Give me 50 cents, babe.
- Angie, give me 50 cents.
- You can't dance.
Fifty cents, woman! MAN 1: Ho, ho, ho.
MAN 2: Here we go, baby.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
- Go.
- It's not a competition.
Come on, Randy! Come on, George! You got it.
Come on.
Hit it! Hit it! Hit it, honey! Work it! Work it! Hit it! Hit it! Hit it! Work it! Work it! All right! All right! Come on! Work it! - Come on! Yes! ERNIE: Come on! Go, George! - Come on, George, come on! ANGIE: Hit it! [GAME BEEPING AND MUSIC STOPS.]
GAME: Player two, you have the high score.
Yeah! How about that? Are you proud of me now, Mom? Did I do something good enough for you? ANGIE: Honey, honey, calm down! - Did you see me, Angie? My initials are gonna be on the top of that list! I'm better than U-P-2, than I-P-2, than A-S-S and S-U-K! Who did that? Dad, what are you doing? I spent all day making these for the bake sale to end hunger.
Mission accomplished.
Do you know that every year 300 million people die of hunger in the United States alone? Carmen, there's only 280 million people in the country.
Now.
RANDY: I'll leave you two alone to talk.
George, you might have won the battle, but you didn't win the war.
I'll see you at regionals.
What the hell was all that at the bar? Mom, do you know you're the only one that didn't congratulate me? Oh, here we go again.
Whoopy.
Your mommy's so happy for you.
You're such a baby, George.
Why can't you let me have this? Why do you need it? I don't.
I thought it would be nice if my own mother was proud of me for one thing.
I mean, I worked my way up to manager at the factory, Mom.
In 15 short years.
What about the house? Ho-ho.
You make payments.
What about my kids? All we know for sure is Angie gave birth twice.
Everything else is speculation.
So there isn't one thing you ever thought that I was good at? Well, I don't know about that.
I thought you were pretty good on the guitar.
What? You never thought I was any good at the guitar.
Yes, I did.
I used to tell Marlene Sanchez all the time.
- You told Marlene Sanchez? You liar.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm gonna call her now.
Don't think I will? - I wanna see.
- I'll call her now.
- Go.
Pick up the phone.
"Sanchez.
" Here we go.
"San Fernando.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Marlene.
" Here we go.
Hey, Mr.
Sanchez.
Hey, it's George Lopez.
Remember I used to live down the block.
You remember, remember? With the head, that one.
Hey, is Marlene there? Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
Hey, man, before she slipped away, did she mention that I was good at guitar? Hello? Marlene's gone and so am I.
No.
You're not going anywhere until you say something nice.
- George, don't be stupid.
- Mom, I can wait.
You, on the other hand, need a smoke in about three minutes.
I'm not gonna do it.
Why not? Would it kill you to say something nice? No.
- Say something nice.
Say it! - No! No! - Why not? - Because if I do, it'll go away.
What are you talking about, you crazy old bat? You are not supposed to brag about things.
If you do, the evil eye will take it away.
You know, mal de ojo.
Okay, let's try this again.
What are you talking about, you crazy old bat? I am not crazy.
Why do you think I rubbed pee on your face when you were a baby? Mom, that's unsanitary.
You know, your aunts kept saying how cute you were and so I had to go and get some ugly to rub on your face.
You know, so that the evil eye would pass over you.
So I took a little pee from the diaper, that was the ugly.
You know, now that I look back at it I probably put a little too much on you.
Now that you say it, it makes perfect sense.
I'd better go wake up my adorable son and smear him with his own waste.
You know, to protect him from the evil eye.
Shut up, George! Shut up! Shh! It can hear you.
With what, Mom, its evil ears? You don't get it, do you? Almost everything good in my life has been taken away.
You don't play with this.
That's why you don't compliment me? Wait.
Why were you complimenting Randy? If something happens to Randy, that's bad.
If something happens to you Thank you.
That's all I ever wanted.
You know what? You're really a good mom.
Come and get her, eye.
George, don't say that.
You're a good person and you should live forever.
Come on, eye! [BENNY SPEAKS IN SPANISH.]
We're going in the backyard.
Vámonos, eye.
Let's go.
She's going to the fence! - Hey.
- What's up, Dad? I wanted to stop by, see if anything happened you wanna tell me.
Something I might be proud of.
Not really.
Come on, Max, there has to be something.
- What do you got there? - Book report.
Oh, hey, how'd you do? D-minus.
Well, how about soccer? We lost eight to nothing.
Mercy rule after first quarter.
I mean, did anything happen today, Max? I mean, even the tiniest accomplishment.
Come on, man, work with me.
Oh, okay.
Well, I was laughing so hard in math class that I got a fly caught in my mouth.
And I kept it in there for a whole minute.
My son I'm so proud of you.
- What is it? We need two weeks off for our honeymoon.
I can't believe I'm actually gonna be married to this lady! I get to go to bed with her, wake up with her, have dinner with her go to bed with her, wake up with her, have dinner with her! You get to clip her nails, brush her coat and hide her pills in peanut butter.
I can't wait to go on a honeymoon.
Go someplace with nice beaches, cold beer, and really hot women.
Heh, heh, heh.
What about your wife? Oh, that's right.
I'll be married.
God, I haven't even met her yet and she's already ruining my vacation.
I want everybody on the floor right away.
Especially you, George.
- What's that about? - I don't know.
Did you put the drill back? All right, listen up, everybody.
This is important.
George has done something and I don't want it to go unnoticed.
I wasn't sick, Jack.
It was opening day, all right.
I did have a fever.
I just didn't say that it was Dodger fever.
That's not it, George.
Although you did just lose a personal day.
I'm gonna make this announcement, I'd like to introduce somebody you know.
- Angie Lopez.
ERNIE: Hey, Angie's here.
- What's going on? - You'll see.
I am pleased to announce that the Southern California Minorities and Business Association has named our very own George Lopez as the recipient of its Rising Star award.
ERNIE: Yeah! Look at George! Congratulations, honey.
Wow.
"In recognition of excellence in management.
" I've never won anything before.
ANGIE: That's not true.
- You won my heart.
ALL: Aw.
MAN: Aren't they cute? Now, why you gotta do that while at work? Watch out.
George, you deserve this award.
I nominated you because, well, you keep this place running smooth and you got us through the shutdown this year.
When we go up for government contracts this minority award will help us play the race card, amigo.
Jack, hey, remember the rule.
You don't call me "amigo" and you don't high-five Jermaine.
My bad.
Anyway, after the presentation on Saturday I'm throwing a big reception at Thirsty's.
MAN: Yeah! Oh, time to celebrate with a toast.
ALL: Yeah! - Who wants sparkling cider? - Ugh.
ERNIE: I don't want my sparkling cider.
Oh, come on! You guys build planes.
ERNIE: Way to go, George.
- Yeah.
Congratulations, George.
- Thanks, Randy.
- I'm so proud of you, honey.
- Thanks, baby.
So, Benny, what do you think? Your son is outstanding minority businessman of the year.
Yeah.
You know, someday he'll be good enough to win a white guy's award.
GEORGE: And to my mother.
I wish she'd live to see this day but I know she's down there right now looking up at me.
And she's saying, "Oh, my flesh is burning!" Ay! [BLOWING.]
- Can I have the rest of the frosting? - No.
For Great American Bake Sale.
We're raising money for hungry children.
Did you know one out of every four persons in the soup kitchen line is a child? Did you know that one out of every two people in this kitchen doesn't care and just wants frosting? Ow! Ow! Ow! You can't hit me hard enough to stop me.
Ah! I'm full.
- Hey.
- Congratulations! GEORGE: Thank you.
Hey.
Oh, check out that banner.
Made it for you on the computer in special ed class.
Yeah.
"Congradulashuns.
" How does this kid find his way home? So did everyone go crazy at work? Not everybody.
- Come on, Angie, let it go.
- Oh, come on.
Why can't your own mother, one time compliment you when you do something good? Why start now? I mean, she's never given me credit for anything.
In Little League when I hit my first home run, she said, "That's great.
Babe Ruth hit 714 of them.
" Wow, 714? That's a lot.
It was my first home run.
Babe Ruth never faced a 19-year-old Dominican who said he was 12.
Angie, he drove to the game! [CAR HORN HONKING.]
Kids, that's your ride to the movies.
Call when you're ready to be picked up.
CARMEN: Okay.
ANGIE: Go.
See you.
Look, you might be used to your mother's attitude, but I'm not.
This is a big award.
You are the rising star among all the other minorities in L.
A.
And that includes Asians.
Look, I don't need her approval to feel good about myself, okay? Why does it bother you? I just think it's a cycle that should be broken.
As a child, Benny was never praised, so she didn't learn how to praise you.
That's why it's hard for you to praise the kids.
Look, I praise the kids, okay? I bet Max he couldn't run to the kitchen and get me a beer in 15 seconds.
And when it took him 17, I still said, "Nice job, son.
Don't worry.
Get another chance at half time.
" Look, I'm over it, okay? It doesn't bother me because my mom cannot compliment anyone, okay? She's not capable of it.
You're right.
I'm letting your mother ruin the celebration and she's not even here.
So why don't you come on outside.
- I wanna give you your surprise.
- What is it? - You'll see.
- All right.
[ANGIE WHISTLES.]
Lie down.
I didn't take a shower, Angie.
- Do it.
- All right.
- Uh-uh-uh.
On your back.
- Heh, heh, heh.
I believe somebody ordered a George sunny-side up.
Watch out.
Now, I figure since you are a rising star - Heh, heh, heh.
that I should buy you a star and name it after you.
That's right.
You can buy me, you can name me, but you can't tame me.
That's what I'm talking What? What? Star what? I went online and I bought you a star.
I think it's, um right there.
Which one? Right there! Feast your eyes on XP375J Lopez.
- Make a wish.
- Okay.
But I'd like to feast my eyes on 36C Lopez.
[ANGIE CHUCKLING.]
Thanks, honey, but I'm actually a 34B.
You said make a wish.
ERNIE: Hey, there he is! It's George! MAN: Hey! This is the best night ever.
Hey, all right, bro! Congratulations! Look, Angie, he's all sweaty.
He's out of breath.
Looks like he's gonna throw up.
Somebody's ready to ask a girl out.
No.
I'm all sweaty because they put in this new game.
It's called Pump It Up.
It's got these arrows and these lights, and you gotta step where it tells you to.
Watch out.
Like this: [ERNIE HUMMING.]
Wow.
While you were describing it, it sounded stupid.
- But now ERNIE: Huh? Listen up, everybody.
I wanna propose a toast.
Seventeen years ago, I took a chance on this guy.
No matter what the job, he proved himself time and time again.
Wow, thanks, Jack.
ALL: Yeah! Oh, sure, I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life.
Like not moving the entire plant to China.
But then I'd be giving this speech in Cantonese.
Heh.
It would be to a bunch of peasants who make 10 cents an hour.
Heh, heh.
"You want a 10 percent raise? No problem.
Here's a penny.
" Heh, heh.
Yeah, well, the one choice I never regretted was hiring George Lopez.
- Wow, thanks, Jack.
That was beautiful.
ERNIE: Yeah.
Speech! Speech! Hey, say something.
I wouldn't be holding this award today if it weren't for one special person.
Somebody who I've never really taken the time to thank publicly.
Oh, honey.
Not you.
Me.
I worked hard for this award, Angie.
Give it up for me.
Benny, you missed a wonderful awards banquet honoring your son.
Yeah.
Who parked your car tonight, last year's winner? [LAUGHING.]
I got it, babe.
I got the job! BENNY: For reals? Oh! - Randy, what's going on? - Oh.
Uh I'm sorry to have to give you my notice, George but I got ajob managing an office supply warehouse in Torrance! Congratulations, baby.
Hey, everybody.
A toast to my man, Randy.
He just made manager! [CROWD CHEERING.]
I am so proud of you.
After all these years, my mom still finds a way to make me feel horrible.
How can something so small be so evil? It's like they drained all the water out and made pure concentrated evil.
You know, like, for campers or something.
Why do I let her get to me, Angie? - I'm a grown man, right? - Yes.
- This is my night.
My night.
- Your night.
Yes.
CROWD: Randy! Randy! - Randy! Randy! Randy! - My man can do it! - He's gonna break the record! CROWD: Randy! Randy! MAN 1: Come on! MAN 2: Yes! You can do it! You can do it! MAN 3: Come on! Come on, Randy! BENNY: There you go! MAN 4: Come on, Randy! Come on! [GAME BEEPING AND MUSIC STOPS.]
[CROWD GROANING.]
Give me 50 cents, babe.
- Angie, give me 50 cents.
- You can't dance.
Fifty cents, woman! MAN 1: Ho, ho, ho.
MAN 2: Here we go, baby.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
- Go.
- It's not a competition.
Come on, Randy! Come on, George! You got it.
Come on.
Hit it! Hit it! Hit it, honey! Work it! Work it! Hit it! Hit it! Hit it! Work it! Work it! All right! All right! Come on! Work it! - Come on! Yes! ERNIE: Come on! Go, George! - Come on, George, come on! ANGIE: Hit it! [GAME BEEPING AND MUSIC STOPS.]
GAME: Player two, you have the high score.
Yeah! How about that? Are you proud of me now, Mom? Did I do something good enough for you? ANGIE: Honey, honey, calm down! - Did you see me, Angie? My initials are gonna be on the top of that list! I'm better than U-P-2, than I-P-2, than A-S-S and S-U-K! Who did that? Dad, what are you doing? I spent all day making these for the bake sale to end hunger.
Mission accomplished.
Do you know that every year 300 million people die of hunger in the United States alone? Carmen, there's only 280 million people in the country.
Now.
RANDY: I'll leave you two alone to talk.
George, you might have won the battle, but you didn't win the war.
I'll see you at regionals.
What the hell was all that at the bar? Mom, do you know you're the only one that didn't congratulate me? Oh, here we go again.
Whoopy.
Your mommy's so happy for you.
You're such a baby, George.
Why can't you let me have this? Why do you need it? I don't.
I thought it would be nice if my own mother was proud of me for one thing.
I mean, I worked my way up to manager at the factory, Mom.
In 15 short years.
What about the house? Ho-ho.
You make payments.
What about my kids? All we know for sure is Angie gave birth twice.
Everything else is speculation.
So there isn't one thing you ever thought that I was good at? Well, I don't know about that.
I thought you were pretty good on the guitar.
What? You never thought I was any good at the guitar.
Yes, I did.
I used to tell Marlene Sanchez all the time.
- You told Marlene Sanchez? You liar.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm gonna call her now.
Don't think I will? - I wanna see.
- I'll call her now.
- Go.
Pick up the phone.
"Sanchez.
" Here we go.
"San Fernando.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Maria.
Marlene.
" Here we go.
Hey, Mr.
Sanchez.
Hey, it's George Lopez.
Remember I used to live down the block.
You remember, remember? With the head, that one.
Hey, is Marlene there? Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
Hey, man, before she slipped away, did she mention that I was good at guitar? Hello? Marlene's gone and so am I.
No.
You're not going anywhere until you say something nice.
- George, don't be stupid.
- Mom, I can wait.
You, on the other hand, need a smoke in about three minutes.
I'm not gonna do it.
Why not? Would it kill you to say something nice? No.
- Say something nice.
Say it! - No! No! - Why not? - Because if I do, it'll go away.
What are you talking about, you crazy old bat? You are not supposed to brag about things.
If you do, the evil eye will take it away.
You know, mal de ojo.
Okay, let's try this again.
What are you talking about, you crazy old bat? I am not crazy.
Why do you think I rubbed pee on your face when you were a baby? Mom, that's unsanitary.
You know, your aunts kept saying how cute you were and so I had to go and get some ugly to rub on your face.
You know, so that the evil eye would pass over you.
So I took a little pee from the diaper, that was the ugly.
You know, now that I look back at it I probably put a little too much on you.
Now that you say it, it makes perfect sense.
I'd better go wake up my adorable son and smear him with his own waste.
You know, to protect him from the evil eye.
Shut up, George! Shut up! Shh! It can hear you.
With what, Mom, its evil ears? You don't get it, do you? Almost everything good in my life has been taken away.
You don't play with this.
That's why you don't compliment me? Wait.
Why were you complimenting Randy? If something happens to Randy, that's bad.
If something happens to you Thank you.
That's all I ever wanted.
You know what? You're really a good mom.
Come and get her, eye.
George, don't say that.
You're a good person and you should live forever.
Come on, eye! [BENNY SPEAKS IN SPANISH.]
We're going in the backyard.
Vámonos, eye.
Let's go.
She's going to the fence! - Hey.
- What's up, Dad? I wanted to stop by, see if anything happened you wanna tell me.
Something I might be proud of.
Not really.
Come on, Max, there has to be something.
- What do you got there? - Book report.
Oh, hey, how'd you do? D-minus.
Well, how about soccer? We lost eight to nothing.
Mercy rule after first quarter.
I mean, did anything happen today, Max? I mean, even the tiniest accomplishment.
Come on, man, work with me.
Oh, okay.
Well, I was laughing so hard in math class that I got a fly caught in my mouth.
And I kept it in there for a whole minute.
My son I'm so proud of you.