Kung Fu Panda Legends Of Awesomeness (2011) s03e22 Episode Script

1 Wa-cha! Ha! Hiyah! And now Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness.
Hear the legends of the kung fu panda Raised in a noodle shop never seeking glory or fame he climbed the mountaintop and earned the Dragon Warrior name Ooh! Ahh! Yah! kung fu panda Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom and master the skills of bodacious and awesome kung fu panda he lives and he trains and he fights with the Furious Five protect the valley, something, something something, something alive Ooh! Ahh! Uh! kung fu panda legends of awesomeness Sweet! There it is, son, the really incredibly huge and lengthy wall of China.
- Eh, needs a catchier name.
- Mm, perhaps.
But, it's kept our country safe for generations.
Then why is it breaking? What? Pardon me, gentle sir.
Is this China? Uh, ye yes.
Brilliant! If you'd kindly tell me where I might find the Dragon Warrior, I won't tear your arms off and beat you wonky with them.
Funny.
"Wonky.
" The The Jade Palace.
That way.
- Much obliged.
- Unh! Beware, Dragon Warrior.
The hunt is afoot, and I, Kim the Invincible, am on your trail.
Great outdoors, here I come! Whoa, oh! I may have overpacked.
Dragon Warrior, uh, where are you going? It's me and my dad's annual camping trip, Zeng.
Kind of a father/son bonding thing.
Uh, I think Master Shifu has other plans for you.
- Hi-yah! - Whoa Oh! Hey, what's the big idea? Have you forgotten? We begin our laoshi training this weekend.
Me, forget? No, I was I was Ow! Oh, I've so been looking forward to it.
Laoshi training forms a special bond - between master and disciple.
- Yeah.
Uh, thing is, this weekend is kind of bad for me.
Oh! Such a kidder.
You know I sent the Five away so we could have this time together, just the two of us.
Just I know, and I'm sorry, but this is the weekend my dad and I go camping.
It's really important to him.
I'm very disappointed, Po, but I understand.
Great.
Thanks, Master Shifu.
Kind of in a hurry, so I'm gonna go and I realize it makes no difference that I trained you, believed in you, and made you what you are today.
Didn't I say "thank you" for that already? I mean, I meant to, so, uh, - anyway, I gotta - After all, you do have a real father, and that's more important.
Even though I've always thought of you as the son I never had.
But it's all right.
I'll be fine.
Here by myself, all weekend.
Alone.
- I'll be with you, Master Shifu.
- So, so alone.
Right.
Sorry.
See you in a few days! I-I guess.
Come on, you stupid guilt-ridden legs! Oh.
Master Shifu would you maybe but probably not think about - coming camping with us? - Really? Are you sure it's not an imposition? - Uh, well, it kind of is.
- I'd love to! We can train in the great outdoors.
I'll get the equipment.
Oh, man.
Dad's gonna kill me.
I'll be alone this weekend, too, if you're looking for more company.
See you when you get back.
Cooking gear, Chinese army knife, matching father/son candle hats.
This is going to be the best weekend ever.
- Dad! - Po, at last! - Oh, are you as excited as I am? - Am I.
Just think, no more boring palace duties, no stuffy Furious Five and cranky old-face Shifu ordering you around like a big meat puppet.
But the best part is that I'll have you all to myself, just devoted father, beloved son Camping, we're camping we're camp-camp-camp- camp-camping Hidey ho, campers.
I'm all set.
This is gonna be the best camping trip ever.
But but but but but but but but but I've got everything we need.
Nunchuks, quarterstaffs, throwing stars, and my favorite meditation gong.
Ah, we'll be meditating for hours with this baby.
But but but but but Oh, Mr.
Ping, believe me, I didn't want to intrude, but when Po begged me to come along, I-I couldn't refuse.
Uh, Po, may I speak to you? I guess our father/son camping trip isn't important to you.
It is, Dad, and so are you, but I forgot I had special training with Master Shifu this weekend.
He was really disappointed.
Not as disappointed as he's gonna be.
Dad, look, Shifu is cranky and bossy and has terrible tea breath, but we can't leave him alone this weekend.
It'll break his furry little heart.
Camping, camping, camp-camp-camp-camp-camping It will be a pleasure to have you along, Shifu.
Thank you, Mr.
Ping.
- Here, this is for you.
- Oh! A whole weekend of kung fu and intense physical training.
What could be better? Camping, camping, camp-camp-camp-camp-camping Don't you feel good about yourself? You're lucky I can't lift this thing.
Back so soon? Hyah! Greetings! I am Kim the Invincible.
Ow! Oh! Oh, you help, please.
Whoa! I come to the Jade Palace looking for the Dragon Warrior.
Drag Dragon Warrior? Whoyou must have the wrong kung fu palace built on a mountain of jade deposits.
It has been my life's work to seek out and destroy the world's greatest fighters, and now it is the Dragon Warrior's turn.
- So, where is he? - I'll never tell.
Never! Darn the luck.
Well, I guess Okay, I'll talk, I'll talk! The Dragon Warrior is camping in the North Woods.
- Now, please, just leave me alone! - Gladly.
Oh, why do you hate doors? Before this day is out, the bones of China's greatest champion will be ground to dust beneath my heel.
Panda fur.
My enemy is nigh.
Camping, camping, camp-camp-camp-camp camp-camp-camp-camp-camping camping, camping, camp-camp-camp-camp camp-camp-camp-camp- camp-camp-camp-camp-camping Does he have to keep singing like that? - He's scaring the forest.
- He's happy, Dad.
That makes one of us.
Uh-oh.
Rock slide.
Fortunately, I know a shortcut.
- Follow me, Po.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
The camp site's right over that hill.
Follow me, Po.
Actually, that would take us the long way around.
It's this way, Po.
Shifu, you're a wise master, but I've been hiking these woods for years! Come, Po.
Mr.
Ping, you're a respectable merchant, but I've never led your son astray.
- This way, Po.
- Po, listen to your father.
- Po, trust your teacher.
- Uh, mm.
I just Ow Ah Owie It is he.
How fortuitous.
I do so hope he bruises easily.
- Follow me.
- No, come this way, Po.
Guys, come on! Look, there's no need to argue.
I'll just clear the rocks off the trail.
- I wouldn't do that! - Yes, maybe you'd better Oh! Unfortunate turn.
Unh! Cleared the path.
Psst, Po.
Let's get in a quick truffle hunt before you-know-who butts in.
Mm, I does love me some truffles! Sorry, Mr.
Ping, but Po needs to begin his laoshi training.
I also does love me some hitting stuff! Shifu, Po and I always go truffle hunting.
But Po and I have a training schedule to meet.
- Truffle hunt.
- Training.
- Truffle! - Training! Guys, guys, guys, guys, come on! Please! May I speak to each of you, privately? Sorry, Dad, Shifu is a total control freak.
You start hunting, I'll humor him a bit and then I'll join you.
You're right.
He does have tea breath.
Sorry, my dad has these dumb, you know, pointless traditions.
What are truffles, anyway? I mean, does anyone know? Yes.
Let's begin.
Hyah! "Po, I need your help!" Oh, hey, that's my dad.
I'd he falls into ditches.
Such a klutz.
Be right back! Perfect timing, son.
Look! It's the mother-truffle-lode! Ooh, forget that silly training and dig, dig! I, uh, better get us a bigger basket.
Be right back! - Where's your focus, Po? - Hyah! Concentration is essential to Wait, wait, I wanted to show you my new nunchuks.
Be right back! Help! This one's putting up a fight.
Way to show the truffle who's boss, Dad.
Be right back.
Be right back! Training time! Be right back! Truffle time! Be right back! Ooh, quick, boil these up while they're fresh.
Hmm.
Attack mode! Let's take a short break, shall we? Oh.
Ah.
Oh, Poor Po.
This truffle soup will fix you right up.
Here, son.
I made it with love, sweat, and fungus.
Mmm.
Huh? I'm sorry.
No soup tonight.
- What? What, what, what? - Po's in training.
He has to eat this special power cake I brought.
Ah.
I always make Po truffle soup when we camp.
It's a time-honored family tradition.
But this cake is made with sulfuric compounds to promote stamina.
Much healthier.
- Ah - Po needs soup! It looks like he's had more than enough of your cooking.
He needs to keep up his strength because you boss him around all day! Guys, please! I'm sure they're both good, see? - Mm.
- Po, no! The sulfur in the cake is volatile when mixed with hot water.
Oh, well.
No harm done.
- Wait for it.
- My soup! Po was right about you.
You are bossy, angry, and bitter! Po would never say that about me.
Right.
You're not angry.
But Po was right about your boring, - pointless camping traditions.
- Uh, pointlessly awesome.
Po, I-I thought you loved camping with me.
Do you really find me angry and bitter? So uncomfortable right now! You turned my son against me.
You've always been jealous of how Po looks up to me.
- Son-turner-againster! - Jealous noodle jockey! - You're a meddler! - Take that back! - It's called personal space.
- Oh, you're a silly person.
- Same to you.
- That's it! I've had it with the both of you! Look, I love you both.
But it's impossible to make either of you happy without hurting the other one! So I'm not gonna try.
- Po, where are you going? - To be by myself.
Everyone's miserable around here, including me.
- Po! - He also said you had tea breath.
Oh, fathers are crazy! And so are father figures! There's no way to understand them.
Understanding, they say, is the beginning of wisdom.
And you're about to receive an education in pain! Ah! Wah! Wassah! Uh, excuse me.
Do I know you? Oh, how rude of me.
I am Kim the Invincible! We'll see about that, fella.
Time for you to grab a seat on the pain train! Hwah! Okay, that hurt.
Hence the appellation, "invincible.
" Hya! Hyah! Whoa.
Ooh! Time to bid adieu, body parts.
But first, I shall do to you what I do to all of my soon-to-be-mangled prey.
- Is it worse than the mangling? - It's better.
I'm going to give you an up close look at my body art! You always wanted Po for yourself.
That's why you keep him cooped up - in your fancy shmancy palace.
- Please.
You're always calling him in to work at that filthy, run-down noodle shop.
You insult my noodle shop? That's it! - It's go time, baby.
- Back off, Ping.
I have no wish to Nooo! Imposing, aren't they? I get one for each poor wretch I annihilate.
Like the lion warrior I eviscerated in lower Zambia.
Or the plucky spider monkey whom I brained in the sultry jungles of Borneo.
Soon, I was covered with mementos of my fallen enemies.
But one spot I left blank! And that spot is for you, the Dragon Warrior, the greatest prize of all.
And the foe whom I shall make suffer more than all the others combined! It's an honor? Po's been captured by some inky hippo.
- We've got to help him.
- Wait.
That's Kim, the Invincible.
A physical attack would be useless.
I suppose you've got a better idea, huh, smart guy? I might.
Time for your particularly excruciating demise, Dragon Warrior.
I'm warning you, Kim.
It'll take more than tattoos and fancy talking words to destroy me! Oh? What if I crushed your head with this rock? Ding dong.
Howdy, neighbor.
Be careful! We were just camping nearby and were just about to eat this delicious soup I made.
Care for some? Sulfur cake, hot water.
Awesome! Quiet, you! I am a bit peckish.
Wait, try adding this spicy herb cake.
Then the soup won't taste so bitter.
- My soup is not bitter.
- Uh-oh.
But, old friend, remember my idea for a special soup? - Actually, it was my idea.
- No, it wasn't! - Yes, it was.
- No, it wasn't.
- Was! - It was not.
- Was.
- No, wrong.
Yeah, it was! You blighters will pay for that faux pas with your lives! Not quite! - I'll take it from here, guys.
- Oh, will you now? Yow! Oh, unh! Not good, not good! Ouchie, mama! Whoa, whoa, oh, oh! Eeh! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ah! Ooh! Eeh! Ow! Ping! Grab the chain and do - the exact opposite of what I do.
- Shouldn't be a problem.
What are you doing? Stop that! You dare delay Kim the Invincible from crushing his quarry? Your pitiful ruse ends now.
Fire in the hippo! Fools! As previously stated, nothing can pierce my impenetrable hide! Yeah, but what about your extremely penetrable tummy? I don't feel well at all.
You're about to feel a whole lot worse! Shakabooey! - Nice work, partner.
- Couldn't have done it without you.
All: # Camping, camp-camp camp-camp-camping # camping, camping, camp-camp camp-camp-camping I'm so glad you guys were able to work through your disturbing father issues.
We realized that we have one big thing in common.
We both love you, Po.
Very much.
And now that we understand each other, I'm really looking forward to next year's camping trip.
Not gonna happen, whiskers.
Yeah, I'll be busy next year.
Later.
Alone again.
Master Shifu! Great to see you back! So, so alone.