Family Ties (1982) s03e23 Episode Script

## Snugly, buggly baby ## ## Snugly as can be ## ## He is sweet ## ## As he can be ## ## He's very, very nice ## ## And round as he can be # ## Snugly, buggly baby ## ## Snugly ## Don't stop.
You're one of the few artists working today who does justice to "Snugly, Buggly Baby.
" Why, thank you.
You and Mick Jagger.
Anything in the mail? Yeah, a letter from my mom.
How's she doing? A little better.
She's thinking about putting the house up for sale.
Well, she's lived there alone for six months now, and that neighborhood's getting worse.
She wants me to come out and help her with it.
You know, uh, help settle Dad's affairs, the house, investments.
I still can't get used to it, you know? I don't have a dad anymore.
You have his memories.
He was a wonderful man, Steven.
Come with me to Buffalo, Elyse.
Do you really have to go? I thought Robert would take care of that.
You know my brother.
I'm afraid to leave anything to him.
How can you say that? He's your brother.
I know he's my brother, but he's not to be trusted.
I'm sure I told you about the incident.
What incident? The incident with the baseball cards.
He took my Joe DiMaggio.
That was 30 years ago.
It'll be 34 years in April.
When do you think you'll go? I don't know if I can handle all these memories without you.
Well, I guess I'd better go.
I think the kids should come.
You know, we've all been affected by his death.
The The kids lost a grandfather.
I- I really think it's changed them.
It's brought them closer together.
You did too! I think your mind has finally snapped, Mallory.
Mom, Alex took my record.
Alex took Mallory's record.
They They couldn't be closer.
## I'll bet We've been together ## ## For a million years ## ## And I'll bet We'll be together ## ## For a million more ## ## Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ## ## On the night we kissed ## ## And I can't remember What I ever did before ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## And there ain't No nothin' ## ## We can't love Each other through ## ## Ooh-hoo ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## Sha-la-la-la ## Ah.
Mom, I'm home! I always said that when I came home.
Steven, is that you? That's what she always said.
Mom, it's us.
Well, nothing's changed.
Nothing ever does.
Same furniture, same pictures.
Steven.
Same mom.
Ooh.
Hi, May.
My darling.
Hi, Grandma.
Oh, hello.
Hey, Grandma.
Oh, my.
Ooh, you look wonderful.
All of you.
Oh, Ma, you look great.
Oh, stop.
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
Robby's here too.
Ah.
Robby, they're here.
Oh, I feel so much better having you both here.
It's been such confusion since I've put this house up for sale.
Trust deeds, second mortgages.
What are these things? Wh? Grandma, a trust deed is a fiduciary obligation.
We've gone over this before, Grandma.
Don't tell me again.
I lost my notes.
Anyway, I don't wanna hear about it.
Grandpa Jake was the financial wizard here.
We made an arrangement: he'd take care of all the business and I'd make pies.
God, I miss those days.
Did you make any pies today, Grandma? Oh, honey, I'm sure Grandma didn't have a chance to bake today.
Are you kidding? I was up at 4 o'clock.
I made Jennifer an apple pie, and lemon meringue for Mallory, and there's a savings bond for Alex.
Mwah.
Grandma, you remembered.
Well, let's go and get started.
I'll be right back.
Oh, there they are.
Hey, Robert.
Hi.
Hey, Mal.
How are ya? Hey, Alex, how's the market, kid? Hi.
Hi, sweetie.
Hey, there he is.
Oh, he's beautiful.
Hey, Rob.
Well, hello.
Ah.
Yo, Robby.
Stevie, hey.
I just can't get used to that beard.
What are you hiding for, huh? You've got an all right face.
Nothing great, but, uh Good to see you too, Rob.
Hey, how's Maureen? Maureen has a nose cold, Uh, she's had the same nose cold for the last 15 years.
Ah, she sends her best.
Good, how are the kids? Ah, fine.
Hey, listen, I saw your little bundle there.
That is a good-looking kid.
Yeah.
Looks like Elyse.
You caught a break, there, Steve.
Well, I gotta go.
Where are you going? We just got here.
Oh, I've got to go down to the Realtor's.
I've got to set Korman straight on a few things.
He's handling the sale of the house? Yeah.
Good.
Korman's a good Realtor.
He calls himself a Realtor.
He's a joker.
Tried to get me to come down Now, that's an insult, and I told him so.
I really let him have it.
Oh, I wish you hadn't done that.
He's nice fellow.
A family man.
He's a reptile, Mom.
Oh.
I gotta go.
Bye.
Okay.
Take care, Rob.
See you guys later.
Okay, Rob.
Elyse: Bye.
Same old Robby, huh? Oh, he's a good boy, Steven.
He helps me.
He does my shopping.
He visits.
He's got a good heart.
I'm sure if you lived closer, I might see more of you too.
Come on, let's go and eat.
Oh Oh, before you go, c- could I take a minute? Well, sure, Mom.
What is it? Well, it's about the house.
I don't know what to do.
Well, I thought everything was resolved.
I thought you were looking forward to moving.
All my friends: Margo, Josephine Farmer, the Camerons, they've all moved.
They bought condos at The Oaks.
I'm the only one left.
The last of the Mohicans.
So, then, you're definitely moving? I went and had a look at The Oaks.
It's beautiful.
So? So I've lived in this house for 40 years.
Came here on my wedding night.
Raised a family here.
Oh, I-I'm not blind.
I see what's going on on the streets.
Buildings falling apart.
There's crime.
But how can I walk away? I look around this room Don't worry, Ma.
I'm here.
Elyse is here.
We're gonna help ya.
Okay.
Who's Myra? Myra? I don't know a Myra.
It's carved into the headboard, right here.
Myra Culbertson.
Sixth grade, I was madly in love with Myra Culbertson.
Uh-huh.
I haven't thought about her in 15 years.
We've been married for 20.
Oh, boy, I'm tired.
It's been a long day.
This whole thing with your mother and the house hasn't been easy for you.
It's amazing how well you've held up so far.
It's so odd being in this house.
I mean, I know I'm married, I'm 40 years old, I got four kids.
But lying in this bed, in this room, I'm telling you, I'm 10 years old.
Then I'm getting out of here before I get arrested.
It's so strange seeing Robby again.
The minute we meet, boom, instant friction, just like with my dad.
Go to sleep, Steven.
Good night, Elyse.
Mm.
Good night, honey.
Good night.
Good night, dear.
Mom.
Mom, I'm home.
Boys, you're You're late for supper.
Now, Steven, Robby, go get washed.
Hey, ah, no dribbling in the living room.
Right, Pop.
Come on, Robby.
Will you tell me who she was.
She was lookin' at me.
No one was lookin' at you.
What are you crazy? Look at you.
Who would look at you? She was looking, the one in the pink sweater.
That's Myra Culbertson.
She goes with Frankie Butell.
Well, I don't care.
She was still lookin' at me.
Mom, Milton Berle's on TV tonight.
Can I go over to Butchie's house to watch? Ask your father.
No, you can't go.
I don't see what the fuss is about television.
Mark my words: In a year, people won't remember what television is.
Come on, Dad.
Everybody's got a TV.
Why can't we get one? What do we need it for? We've gotLifemagazine.
Some people haveLifemagazine and a TV set.
Well, we're not "some people.
" I, uh, got better things to spend my money on.
He's so cheap.
You know what I wish? I wish he wasn't our father.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I didn't mean it.
Nice goin', Stevie.
Oh, what did I say? What did I say? You said you wished he wasn't our father.
I know what I said.
Oh, no.
What did I do? What did I do? You broke his pipe.
I know what I did.
Supper, boys.
I'm comin', Mom.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm I'm coming, Mom! I'm coming, Mom.
I'm coming, Mom.
I'm coming, Mom.
Steven? It's all right, honey.
It's all right.
Elyse.
There's so much I wanna take back.
So much I never got to tell him.
Now he's gone, and I have to live with it.
Oh, honey.
Nothing's resolved.
There you are.
Just the way you like it.
Ah, thanks, Ma.
Mm.
Ooh, it's a little hot.
Oh, I'll fix it.
I'll blow on each spoonful.
Ma, what are you doing? I'm 40 years old.
Ma.
Better.
Oh, it's so good to have you here.
It's nice to be here.
Nice to have a baby in the house again.
Andrew is something, isn't he? I meant you.
Andrew too.
He's an adorable baby.
He looks just like your father.
Does he, Ma? Exactly like Jake.
Of course his name isn't exactly like Jake.
Have you noticed? I'll get it.
Mom, there's something I wanna ask you.
Ask.
It's about me and Dad.
Did he ever talk to you about things I said? What kind of things? Well, let's face it, Dad and I had our differences and I was wondering if, after I moved out of the house, if he ever said anything.
Well, I remember he said "Let's make Stevie's room into a den.
" I'm talking about May, it's Josephine Farmer for you.
Oh, thank you, dear.
Keep that thought.
I'll be right back.
Hi, "Jake.
" So how are you feeling? You okay? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Then eat your oatmeal.
Too hot.
Want me to blow on it? Nah, I'm not hungry.
Being here just brought it all back.
My dad, the problems, the fights.
Steven, I think you're making too much out of all this.
You weren't here.
You don't know what went on.
My father was a very difficult man.
Talking about Pop? Yeah.
Good man.
Hard-working.
Dependable.
Salt of the earth.
Like me.
Dad always liked you, Rob.
Are you kidding? Me and Dad: "Woosh.
" You and Dad: "Woosh.
" Oh, come on, Rob.
He drove Dad crazy.
Dad could not believe Stevie.
Oh, you remember the time he got that letter asking him to come in to school because you refused? Oh, hey, come on here.
You kids oughta hear.
Oh, Come on Oh, no, no.
I was just gonna tell 'em about how your grandpa Jake had to go in to school because your father got in trouble.
Great.
What did you do, Dad? It was nothing.
Rob Your father refused to put his name in the upper-right-hand corner of his test papers in school.
Is that true, Dad? It was my paper and I thought I had a right to put my name wherever I wanted to.
Oh, I remember, Dad got a hold of you.
You remember, Stevie? He said, "Are you from this planet or what?" I, uh I don't I don't see what's so funny.
Papers need to be graded, Dad.
All those names have to be in the same place, every time.
I mean, that was deviant behavior, and I hope Grandpa Jake punished you appropriately.
I was tarred and feathered.
Okay.
Thought you could use some refreshment.
Oh, that's great, Elyse.
I can definitely use something.
How'd you know? You have been sitting here six hours.
Oh.
A lot of ghosts here, Elyse.
A lot of ghosts.
Friendly ones, I hope.
Did I ever tell you about Mr.
and Mrs.
Kretzer? I don't think so.
They were this beautiful older couple from Austria.
They lost their only son in the war and they kind of adopted me.
I used to pass their house on my walk home from school, and she always had some cookies, some cakes for me.
"Ve must to fatten you up, Stevie," she would say.
Guess she'd be disappointed if she saw me now, huh? I don't know.
I don't think anyone who saw you now would be disappointed.
I didn't realize how special they were, Elyse.
Sometimes I'd stop in to see them.
Sometimes I'd forget.
It took so little for me to make them happy.
I was so thoughtless about it.
Why didn't I realize? You were 10.
It won't come again, Elyse.
The Kretzers, that whole generation.
What they did.
To come to a new land.
They didn't speak the language.
They built a life.
They were heroes, Elyse.
Every last one of 'em.
I couldn't find the time to have a glass of milk with them.
Steven, stop it.
You were a kid.
Kids don't think about things like that.
The world will last forever.
It'll never change.
You'll always be 10.
They'll always be 75.
They'd be 109 now, I guess.
Maybe I should give them a call.
They're probably not up.
A lot of ghosts here, Elyse.
Come on.
Let's go to bed.
You go.
I'll be up in a minute.
Yeah.
Don't forget to eat your cookies, okay? Okay.
"We must to fatten you up.
" Tsk.
Come on, Robert.
They're going to be here soon.
I hope I made enough food.
You made enough.
Did it start yet? Not yet.
I saved you some supper.
Now, go wash your hands.
I can't eat, Mom.
I'm too excited.
Don't you realize we have television in the house? So now that we have television, you're never gonna eat again? You delivered all your papers? Sure, Pop.
And you collected all your money too, huh? Well Did you or didn't you? I got most of it, Dad.
It's not important.
Money's important.
It's very important.
Why do you think I press clothes 16 hours a day? I like steam? I know money's important, Dad, but other things are important too.
Like what? People should be able to read the paper, especially old people, when it's all they have.
Mrs.
Minelli didn't pay again, huh? No, but she said she'd pay me Next week.
Yeah.
She showed me pictures of her and Mr.
Minelli back in Italy.
Good.
Those are very valuable.
I understand with ten of those pictures, you can get a car.
Here you go.
I'm gonna put it right down here and I want you to finish everything.
I can't eat it now, Mom.
I'll miss Milton Berle.
Well, you can eat while you watch.
I'll laugh too much.
I'll choke.
Let's live dangerously.
Mm.
This is too hot.
I'll cool it off for you.
Oh, it's gotta be time now.
Welcome.
Welcome.
Is it time yet, Jake? Two minutes, Kretzer.
Here, Stevie.
I brought you some sugar cookies.
Oh, thank you, Mrs.
Kretzer.
You don't come to see us anymore.
Well, you know, I'm kind of busy with school and my paper route and everything.
Well, how long does it take, hm? You come in, you have a glass of milk and a piece of cake, hm? Believe him, Esther.
He's busy.
Next time, Mrs.
Kretzer.
I promise.
Oh, you're such a sweet boy, Stevie.
Here we go.
Oh, hello, Esther, Rudolf.
Oh, hello, there.
Hello, May.
Now, here, Steven.
I cooled it off for you.
It's too cold now, Mom.
Do you believe this boy? Eat something, Steven.
Ve must to fatten you up.
Is this Milton Berle? Uh, not yet, Mrs.
Kretzer.
Oh.
Sarah.
Hi, Sarah.
How are you doing? Find your seat.
Find a good chair.
Come on in.
You're welcome.
Find a good spot.
Couch is spoken for.
Hup.
It's starting.
Stevie.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, introducing America's number one television star Take a peep at your Tuesday night beau.
Milton Berle.
That's him.
That's Uncle Miltie.
Good evening Good evening.
Are you sure it's "Uncle" Miltie? We had an uncle like this.
We don't talk about him.
I lost my sheep.
Looks like you lost your shape.
This is Monty Woolley and Joseph Cotten.
Say hi to the audience.
No ad-libbing, or you'll be in Lana Turner's sweater in a few weeks.
These were up awful late last night.
They were counting people.
It, uh They were counting people.
Is there any out here? I knew it.
Aren't they adorable? Would you do me a favor? Have somebody come out and take these two talent scouts back to Arthur Godfrey, please.
Little Boy Blue, thank you very much.
Hello.
Didn't I see you flying over New York with "Goodyear" printed over you? Ladies and gentlemen, it is a pleasure to welcome you.
And kiddies, this is your Uncle Miltie again.
We have a surprise, ladies and gentlemen Steven.
You're still up.
Yeah, Ma.
It's late.
I know.
Good night.
Mom.
I love you very much.
You know that.
Yes, I know.
But it's good to hear.