Hannah Montana s03e23 Episode Script

Lilly! Lilly! OK, guess who is crushing big time? Aw, Miley, not again.
Even Jeff Gordon makes a pit stop every once in a while.
I am not talking about me.
Although, uh, tall, dark and yummy over there is definitely on my radar.
- Miley.
- Right.
Anyhoo, I'm talking about Oliver.
He is in love.
Are you sure? I was just in the girl's bathroom and there was nobody sobbing, "Why me, why me?" I'm sure.
I just saw him upstairs and he was totally distracted and spacy.
I guess you're right.
That's love.
Painful, painful love.
Hey, how's it going? Nice kicks, Timmy.
Spill it, Oliver.
Who is she? Who's who? The girl who you've fallen for all the way down the stairs.
There's no girl.
Oh, really? Then, uh, how do you explain this box of chocolates? All right, fine.
They're for a girl.
What's her name? Guys, she's not even in our grade.
You don't know her.
- Come on, you know you want to tell us.
- Yeah.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Tell us.
Tell us.
Tell us.
Tell us.
- Come on.
- Tell us.
- Come on.
- Tell us.
Come on, guys! Just leave me alone, OK? - I've never seen him like this.
- I know.
- Maybe we should respect his privacy.
- Yeah.
Although, if we respect it too long, we'll lose his trail.
Come on.
Aw.
Thank you, Oliver.
The ones with the little squigglies on top are the best.
I'm going to take AP English.
I'm going to take AP Water Polo.
Good night, nurse! Oliver is crushing on someone old enough to remember The Beatles.
- The who? - Them, too.
You get the limo out front.
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
Yea when your famous it can be kinda fun.
It's really you but no one ever discovers.
Who would've thought that a girl like me would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds.
Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together and you know that It's the best of both worlds.
Hannah Montana S03E23 Uptight (Oliver's Alright) Well, he did say she wasn't in our grade.
Not in our grade? She ain't in our generation.
Ooh! Hey, that's a good one.
I can't wait to use it on him.
No! You can't! Remember in seventh grade when you had a crush on Monsieur Garneau, the French teacher? Vaguely.
Please, you wore a beret and said oui, oui so much, people started calling you "Tinkles Truscott.
" OK, fine.
But, people made fun of me, I got over it.
Now nobody even remembers.
Hey, Tinkles.
We've got some stale French fries here.
And we know how you like things that are old and French.
Ooh, la, la! Sssst That was two years ago! Yeah! She's had a ton of boyfriends since then! OK, fine, two.
And Lucas cheated on her, so that doesn't really count.
And the other one she took to court, but if you Stop helping me! I get it.
We can't make fun of Oliver.
For this.
Everything else is fair game, right? Of course.
Now we just got to protect him from the trash-talking twins.
- How? - Simple.
We get him nursing on a new crush, not crushing on an old nurse.
- Another good one I can't use.
- Come on.
Ma, you may want to sit down for this one.
Jackson, your grandson, got a "B.
" I told you, you may want to sit down.
Yep, and it's all because of this new girlfriend he's got.
I'll tell you what, she is smart as a whip, and you ain't gonna believe what an influence she's been on him.
Hey, here they come.
I got to go.
If you can't get up, call me back.
There he is! My "B" boy and his "A"-plus lady.
- Dad.
- Hi, Mr.
Stewart.
Little lady, from now on you can just call me, "Happy Pappy!" He's not really my dad.
I was left on his doorstep.
By a wizard.
Aw, son.
Come on, now.
I didn't mean to embarrass you, but look at this! You made the refrigerator! I'm sorry.
Just got a little dust in my eye, that's all.
Wow, what'll he do when he finds out about your "A" on the History quiz? Oh.
That's a risk I can't take.
OK, I'm just going to go for a jog now and leave you two to your studying.
I'm sorry, more dust.
Hey, Monica.
Yeah, we're studying for the Chem test.
I don't know.
He's cute, but I'm just not feeling it anymore.
I was gonna break up with him today.
But I just can't.
I'll wait until after the test tomorrow.
Pull it together, old man.
It's not like it's the last "B" I'll ever get.
Wanna bet? OK, who's the lucky lady who's gonna break the nurse curse? Hey, what about Stephanie? She's cute.
And on last year's field trip she sat in front of Oliver.
Oh, yeah.
He scarfed down three hot dogs before they got on the bus and she was wearing them when they got off.
No problem.
I'm sure there's, uh, plenty of girls for Oliver.
Yeah.
Well, let's see.
Tripped her, sat on her lunch, spilled on, spilled on.
And poor Pamela the only survivor of the Oken natural gas disaster of 2006.
This may be harder than we thought.
Oh, no.
There she is.
Sweet old lady doesn't suspect a thing.
Loverboy's at it again.
Let's go.
Hey, guys.
What's up? Oh, Miley, did you get hit by a football again? - No.
- Soccer ball? - No.
- Boomerang? No! I'm fine.
This isn't about me.
It's about Oliver and you and the chocolates and that note.
So, you know? Yeah.
Oh, I am so glad he told you.
You are? Absolutely.
He wanted this to be, uh, our little secret.
But I told him there was nothing to be ashamed of.
You did? Of course.
Oliver didn't ask for this to happen.
I mean, none of us ever do.
But when it does, you can either run away from it or you can embrace it.
And you want him to embrace it? Oh, I've begged him to.
And now that he has, I couldn't be happier.
You're kidding me, right? Why would I kid about Oliver having diabetes? What? Oliver has diabetes? Of course.
What did you think I was talking about? Diabetes.
Oliver has diabetes.
She meant to say it with a period, but she said it with a question mark by mistake.
Right, Lilly? Uh.
Oh, yeah.
It's a teenage girl thing? - We all do it? - My mom hates it? - Wait a minute, you didn't think that Oliver - No! - Because I would never - Of course not! - I mean, Oliver? - We know.
I mean, let's face it, you still have a couple of good years left.
You could do a lot better.
Gee, thanks.
Poor Oliver.
I know.
I just want to give him a big hug.
Oh, this is why he gave her the chocolates, so he wouldn't eat them.
When you have diabetes, you're not supposed to have a lot of sugar.
Wait a minute.
You guys didn't know, did you? - Uh-uh.
- No.
Oh, boy.
OK, listen.
You can live a very full life with diabetes, but this is still all very new to Oliver and he's struggling with it.
So, please, let him tell you.
OK? But, what if he doesn't? Yeah, we're his friends.
I mean, we want to help him.
So you're just gonna have to be patient, OK? OK.
We can do that.
We can't do this! It says here that Oliver's body just doesn't process sugar the way it's supposed to.
But if he takes his insulin and doesn't eat too many sweets, he can lead a normal life.
I do not know why he is so afraid to tell us.
I could totally help him stay away from sugar.
I agree.
You are quite the little role model.
That's not the point.
I mean, he's gonna tell us eventually.
What's he waiting for? I can't imagine.
It's not like you didn't tell him you were Hannah Montana right off the bat.
I mean, you didn't keep him waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting I got the point, Captain Subtle.
Hey, I got a great idea.
Why don't you take him to Traci's party tonight? Hang out, have fun, get his mind off things.
That's actually a good idea.
I do have those on occasion, you know.
It's not like I'm one of those dopey TV dads.
You keep telling yourself that, big fella.
Oh.
My little B-boy.
I hardly knew you.
OK.
OK.
So, what do you call a pig who knows karate? A pork chop! Hi-ya! Jackson! Allison! You're here! Together! That's great! You are A Beautiful couple.
Don't worry, he always gets like this just before nappy time, huh? I'll be right back.
Don't blow this for me! She said she wants to "talk," and I think we both know what that means.
Well, one of us does.
I don't have time for your riddles, old man.
Just go.
Go, go, go, go, go! Go, go, go! I am just, uh, dancing over to you because I can't wait to "talk.
" Ready when you are.
Actually, I really did want to talk.
Really? OK.
Well, I guess we could, you know, start with that.
- Listen, Jackson.
I - Hey! Um, before I take my nap, I just wanted to say to you that you are the best girlfriend Jackson has ever had.
Ever.
And he's had a lot of them.
I cannot keep the ladies off of this one.
Dad, we're trying to have a little conversation here.
Conversation? Oh, you don't want to do that.
Talking's the quickest way to ruin a relationship.
Hey, let me ask you, have you kissed him yet? All the ladies say he's got lips like butter.
- Dad! - Oh, son, don't be modest.
You know, Stewart men only get better-looking with age.
Exhibit A.
Could you excuse us? OK.
Did I happen to mention he's gonna inherit a lot of money? What are you doing? I'm trying to get you into college.
How? By humiliating me? By saving this relationship.
I heard her on the phone yesterday.
She's gonna break up with you.
Whah? Sorry, son.
Is that true? You want to break up with me? Yeah.
And I didn't know exactly how to say it.
Thank you so much, Mr.
Stewart.
Wow, that was easier than I thought.
It's just so unfair.
I did everything I could.
What more did she want? Look, these things happen.
How can you be so OK with this? Well, I just found out that I'm going to inherit a ton of money! And get even better-looking! And you said I needed college! Yeah! Oh, come on, guys.
It'll be fun.
You guys, I don't know.
I've got a ton of homework.
Maybe I should just go home.
Oliver, you are not thinking clearly, OK? This is Traci's sweet sixteen.
There's gonna be a ton of sweet sixteens.
Know what I mean? Eh? What do you mean? There'll be a lot of cute girls.
Pretty girls.
Better yet, girls that haven't formed an opinion of you yet.
Oh, and you know, sometimes it's good to take a break from things, you know, like homework or stuff that might be weighing heavily on your mind.
Or lightly.
You know, stuff that seems heavy now, but with time and the support of your great friends and a well-balanced diet life can be a wonderful thing! A wonderful, wonderful thing! OK.
I'm thinking your wigs are on a little bit too tight.
And you are right.
See, we need you.
We are not stable.
- Come on, let's go have fun! - Yeah! Oh, my gosh, look at all the cupcakes.
Uh, yeah, you really should get that homework done.
It's not gonna do itself.
Let's go.
Hannah! Welcome to my sweet sixteen.
Emphasis on the sweet.
Yep, everything looks great here.
Happy B-day.
Air kiss! Gotta go, bye! But you just got here.
Let's split the difference.
Ciao, Lola.
No, see, we all gotta get outta here 'cause I have a headache, he's got homework to do, and she just can't stand ya.
OK, it can wait.
Like you said, life can be a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Hello there, wonderful thing.
So it's settled! You're staying! And, seriously, I have a driver if you need a ride home.
And, seriously, nobody here really thinks you're sixteen.
Yeah.
Bye.
Yeah, bring him along! It'll be fun! Thanks a lot, Dad.
What are we supposed to do now? Why does it always have to be me? Don't you have an idea? A suggestion? Something to get the ball rolling? Yeesh! Hello! What do you want me to do, eat every cupcake, cookie and brownie before he does? - Finally, something useful! - Yeah! Yeah! I had a good idea, yes I did.
Ooh, ooh! Getting a pet rat so at least you look good next to something? Yeah, what size collar do you wear? Ooh, sweet things everywhere I look, know what I mean? Oh, here you go.
- Ooh! Thank you! - Don't mind if I do! He's such a gentleman.
What are you guys doing? - I'm just hungry.
- Really, really hungry.
So I said to her, Right? What are you doing? - I love licorice.
Hmm - Go get your own.
- There's no more! - She's got a whole tray over there.
They're like potato chips.
Can't have just one.
Let's go! Celebrities.
They think they're entitled to everything.
Wait! I don't know where the food went.
I got enough to feed a whale! Or two.
Well, the good news is, we saved Oliver from all that sugar.
I never thought I'd hate the taste of a brownie.
Hey, where is Oliver, anyway? I can't see him.
I can't see my belt.
Where'd everybody go? - Party's - over.
- Halle - lujah.
Hey, you know, I never even got anything to eat.
Finally.
No! What is wrong with you guys? We, uh We really like cupcakes.
And we know about your diabetes.
You do? Yeah, the school nurse told us.
And we couldn't just stand by and let you eat that cupcake.
Or this cupcake, or this cupcake, or this pie.
You guys think I can't eat this stuff because I have diabetes? Well, yeah.
I mean, I think so.
I didn't get to finish that pamphlet because I got ice cream all over it.
- Shh! Don't say "ice cream" in front of him.
- Sorry.
Guys, I have Type 1 diabetes.
Which means I can have stuff with sugar in it.
As long as I manage my diet, and monitor my blood sugar with this Actually, according to this, my blood sugar's low.
Which means I actually need something like a brownie if there were any left.
Oh, wait, wait Kept that warm for ya.
Gee, thanks.
Look, Oliver, I'm sorry, but why didn't you tell us? I don't know.
I didn't want you guys to look at me like I was broken, because I'm not.
Well, we would have known that if you'd have told us.
Yeah, I know.
And I should have.
And I guess I should have rinsed off that pamphlet before we became the food police.
Hmm.
It's chocolatey and it's got, like, a hint of, uh pineapple? Mango? Uh, that's uh that's my "tropical mist" deodorant.
Maybe we should just stop by a smoothie place on the way home? - Yeah.
- Good idea.
Tonight, we learned a lot of important things.
Yeah.
I learned that 40 kids get diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes every day.
And I learned you can't get it from eating too many sweets.
And I learned if you take your insulin appropriately, exercise, and eat a balanced diet, you can do anything and be anything you want to be.
And I learned that someday, I'm gonna be good-looking.
And, I'm gonna inherit a lot of money.
Whoo-hoo! And I learned that my brother's really annoying.
Oh, wait, I already knew that.