Phineas and Ferb s03e23 Episode Script
The Curse of Candace (15 min)
You can't fly away from us, Jared! Ha! Now you're trapped! He's bent the gate! His vampire strength won't save him this time.
Wow, super vampire strength.
And he's super cute.
Shh! Oh, look! He has no reflection in that mirror.
I can't see my hair! Oh, look, Stacy! He's cornered.
Now he's really stuck.
Shh! Speaking of 'stuck', what's up with this floor? Jared, Michael! Don't do this! It's the end of the line, Jared.
I'd expect this from your kind, Michael.
Football players, I mean.
But Kristen, we were both moody outcasts.
We.
.
We loved each other! Yes.
Yes, we did.
We did, and Wait a minute.
Wasn't he just wearing a shirt? You'll no longer drink the blood of those you love.
Wait, those drapes were a gift from myâ The hideous light of the day star! Where did that wind come from? Oops, sorry.
I opened the window.
It was getting stuffy in here.
That was the best movie ever.
Yeah, I know.
Imagine if you had to choose between a blood-thirsty undead walking corpse and a slobbering hairy-lupine manbys for a boyfriend.
What could possibly be cooler? Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Careful with that promotional bat, it's rented.
Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! You really rented a bat? Yeah I know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, no, I think it's really paying off here.
get off me! Get off me! Get off me! get off me! Get off me! Get off me! get off me! Get off me! Get off me! I know what you mean, Ferb.
It does seem like more than 104 days.
Boys, I'm off to Bobbi's.
If you need anything, your father's inside watching television.
Well, this isn't much of a horror movie.
Where are the rock-and-roll musical numbers? Oh, and Ferb, you left your pen on the kitchen table.
Have fun today.
I'll be back later.
Bye, Mom! I was wondering where that went.
Okay, Ferb, let's have a look through our blueprints.
Cookie-powered jet car, haunted office building ride with temp-ghosts, a reenactment of the battle of Danville? Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? Trying to pick something to do today.
What's that? This is Bambina, my bamboo.
Only, she's not doing so well.
She needs help.
The poor girl probably just needs some sunlight.
Ferb and I can rake up a super growth lamp in no time.
You'd do that for me? Sure! Ferb, I know what we'reâ Hey! How come you guys are making something special for her? What about me? And me? It's a nerd carrier.
I had a heck of a time getting him in.
Scratched me all up! I'd like something, too! How long have you been there? I'm not sure.
What's today? Ferb, I know what we're doing today.
Taking requests.
Hey, where's Perry? Oh.
Oh, Agent P! How long have you been sitting there? Guess I'd better get started.
We received a weird message from Dr.
Doofenshmirtz this morning, claiming that he will no longer seek to take over the Tri-State Area.
And he used a very unusual method for conveying his message.
Carl? He wrote a letter by hand, then put it in an envelope and sent it through the regular mail with a stamp and everything! Who does that? And it's scented.
Hmm Milbank Nights.
One of the better perfumes to come out of South Dakota.
When an evil scientist sends fragrant letters, wrongdoing can't be far behind.
Dismissed, Agent P! Carl! Let me uh smell that letter again, would you? You know, Candace, you're just lucky that bat didn't bite you.
I mean, what if it was a vampire bat? Me, a vampire? Don't be silly, Stacy.
It would be cool to have super strength though.
And be able to fly.
Yeah, but you'd never be able to see yourself in the mirror again.
How would you put on your makeup? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Perry the Platypus, didn't you get my letter? Oh, of course not.
Here, I-I'll read it to you.
"Dear Perry the Platypus.
I know Major Monogram will ignore my letter and send you to stop me.
That's why you are now trapped.
Best wishes, your nemesis, Heinz.
" Come to think of it, it wouldn't have made much sense until now, it's probably good that you didn't get it earlier.
It would have just been confusing, and I would have been stuck with having to explain it to you.
Speaking of stuck, you've landed on a square of the stickiest surface known to man.
It's a tile from the floor of the Danville Multiplex.
I discovered it when I went to go see that teen vampire movie.
Loved it! And now Behold, the Gimmelshtump-inator! See, Perry the Platypus, I've been setting my sights too high, I think.
Trying to subdue a modern city, I need to conquer a backward land where people are superstitious.
That's why I'm going to turn the Tri-State Area into a reasonable flexibility of Gimmelshtump.
The buildings, the clothing, the more easily conquered backward mindset.
Here's a sample, look.
My beautiful modern state-of-the-art bathroom is changed into a Gimmelshtumpian potter room.
Ah, that takes me back.
Well, I gotta get home, Stacy.
Jeremy's supposed to drop off my MP3 player this afternoon on his way to work.
Well, don't attack him, Ms.
Undead! Right.
As if.
Jeremy won't be here for another couple minutes.
That gives me just enough to time to bust Phineas and Ferb.
Okay, you guys are so Hey, they're not here.
What's this? This stuff's way below their usually bustable level.
I wonder what they're doing out here with Dad's old barbells.
Hey, I've never been able toâ Super strength.
What if there really was a vampire bat? Candace, get a hold of yourself.
I mean, it's not like I can fly.
Oh, my gosh! Okay, there's only one way to know for sure.
A mirror.
Oh, no! No reflection! Two minutes earlier Okay, Ferb, let's run through the list.
To fulfill Isabella's request, we've rigged a super bright grow-light to imminently go on and off as Bambina needs it.
Next, Baljeet's request to lift heavy objects accomplished by using gravity-counter acting barbells.
Check.
I am so happy.
I have just torn my roti-cal curve.
Buford's request to float in the air using levitation air jets in the lawn.
Now I can look down on everyone.
Last up is Irving's request to be invisible.
Accomplished with this mirror-shape live video playback and effects screen.
Sweet! Two and a half minutes later Is it possible? Am I a vampire? The hideous light of the day star! I am a vampire.
I must hide myself! Now, what's gonna be the first part of the Tri-State Area to get the Gimmelshtump makeover? Oh, yeah? Take that! Oh, not theâ Not the forehead, not the forheâ I don't know if you noticed or not but I was a boxing champion in my middle-school back in Gimmelshtump, and I got a few moves inâ Candace? I brought your MP3 player withâ Don't look at me! I have to get away from you, Jeremy! For your own protection.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Fletcher.
Oh! Candace! Hey! I have to find Phineas and Ferb! They'll know how to change me back.
Did Candace just jump over that fence? You had to take her to the vampire movie, didn't you? (Song: Vampire Song) It's not romantic or that cool To live forever more! Or when you have to buy your undead things From Danville's one Goth store! I'm a grim and lonely vampire teen Living in a brightly lit suburban dream I should sleep, sleep, sleep 'til the day is done But I'm a lost little vampire in the sun! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Yeah, my dad said I could drive it, just as long as I didn't get a scratch on it.
Oh, my dad's gonna kill me! Why, dude? It's not scratched.
Jeremy! Oh, hey, Candace! Did you come to pick up your MP3 player? Huh? Noâ No! Have you seen my brothers? Sure.
Yeah, they were just here.
They went home to look for you.
Oh, no! Villagers! Vhat about your music box, mitt ze Tiny Cowboy? Oh, no! More villagers! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! You don't stand a chance with that tile still stuck to your feet.
My knee again, really?! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Time, time, time! I need a bathroom break.
I'll be right back, okay? Don't do anything until I get back, okay? Don't touch a thing.
I'll be rightâ Uh Oh What was that? Well, now it's scratched.
Curse you, Perry the Platâ Oh.
Never mind! Phineas, open the door! Open the door, open the door.
Open the door, open the door.
There's angry villagers out here.
Open the door! Hey, Candace, what's wrong? There's a bunch of villagers and they're after me.
You mean those guys? Candace, I think they prefer to be called marathoners.
Why would marathoners be following anyone? Besides, you know, three guys from Kenya.
Because I'm a vampire, Phineas.
What makes you think you're a vampire? Well, I can lift heavy objects and I can levitate and and I can't see my reflection in the mirror.
It sounds like a vampire to me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come here Ferb, come here.
I think I know what's going on here.
Candace, when you discovered that you had these powers, were you in the backyard? Yeah, why? Oh, Candace, that was just some stuff we made for our friends.
You're not a vampire, look, I'll prove it.
See? The sun has absolutely no effect on you.
Ferb, we're gonna need a dustpan and some glue.
When you have to buy your undead things From Danville's one Goth store! I'm a grim and lonely vampire teen Living in a brightly lit suburban dream I should sleep, sleep, sleep 'til the day is done But I'm a lost little vampire in the sun!
Wow, super vampire strength.
And he's super cute.
Shh! Oh, look! He has no reflection in that mirror.
I can't see my hair! Oh, look, Stacy! He's cornered.
Now he's really stuck.
Shh! Speaking of 'stuck', what's up with this floor? Jared, Michael! Don't do this! It's the end of the line, Jared.
I'd expect this from your kind, Michael.
Football players, I mean.
But Kristen, we were both moody outcasts.
We.
.
We loved each other! Yes.
Yes, we did.
We did, and Wait a minute.
Wasn't he just wearing a shirt? You'll no longer drink the blood of those you love.
Wait, those drapes were a gift from myâ The hideous light of the day star! Where did that wind come from? Oops, sorry.
I opened the window.
It was getting stuffy in here.
That was the best movie ever.
Yeah, I know.
Imagine if you had to choose between a blood-thirsty undead walking corpse and a slobbering hairy-lupine manbys for a boyfriend.
What could possibly be cooler? Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Careful with that promotional bat, it's rented.
Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! You really rented a bat? Yeah I know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, no, I think it's really paying off here.
get off me! Get off me! Get off me! get off me! Get off me! Get off me! get off me! Get off me! Get off me! I know what you mean, Ferb.
It does seem like more than 104 days.
Boys, I'm off to Bobbi's.
If you need anything, your father's inside watching television.
Well, this isn't much of a horror movie.
Where are the rock-and-roll musical numbers? Oh, and Ferb, you left your pen on the kitchen table.
Have fun today.
I'll be back later.
Bye, Mom! I was wondering where that went.
Okay, Ferb, let's have a look through our blueprints.
Cookie-powered jet car, haunted office building ride with temp-ghosts, a reenactment of the battle of Danville? Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? Trying to pick something to do today.
What's that? This is Bambina, my bamboo.
Only, she's not doing so well.
She needs help.
The poor girl probably just needs some sunlight.
Ferb and I can rake up a super growth lamp in no time.
You'd do that for me? Sure! Ferb, I know what we'reâ Hey! How come you guys are making something special for her? What about me? And me? It's a nerd carrier.
I had a heck of a time getting him in.
Scratched me all up! I'd like something, too! How long have you been there? I'm not sure.
What's today? Ferb, I know what we're doing today.
Taking requests.
Hey, where's Perry? Oh.
Oh, Agent P! How long have you been sitting there? Guess I'd better get started.
We received a weird message from Dr.
Doofenshmirtz this morning, claiming that he will no longer seek to take over the Tri-State Area.
And he used a very unusual method for conveying his message.
Carl? He wrote a letter by hand, then put it in an envelope and sent it through the regular mail with a stamp and everything! Who does that? And it's scented.
Hmm Milbank Nights.
One of the better perfumes to come out of South Dakota.
When an evil scientist sends fragrant letters, wrongdoing can't be far behind.
Dismissed, Agent P! Carl! Let me uh smell that letter again, would you? You know, Candace, you're just lucky that bat didn't bite you.
I mean, what if it was a vampire bat? Me, a vampire? Don't be silly, Stacy.
It would be cool to have super strength though.
And be able to fly.
Yeah, but you'd never be able to see yourself in the mirror again.
How would you put on your makeup? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Perry the Platypus, didn't you get my letter? Oh, of course not.
Here, I-I'll read it to you.
"Dear Perry the Platypus.
I know Major Monogram will ignore my letter and send you to stop me.
That's why you are now trapped.
Best wishes, your nemesis, Heinz.
" Come to think of it, it wouldn't have made much sense until now, it's probably good that you didn't get it earlier.
It would have just been confusing, and I would have been stuck with having to explain it to you.
Speaking of stuck, you've landed on a square of the stickiest surface known to man.
It's a tile from the floor of the Danville Multiplex.
I discovered it when I went to go see that teen vampire movie.
Loved it! And now Behold, the Gimmelshtump-inator! See, Perry the Platypus, I've been setting my sights too high, I think.
Trying to subdue a modern city, I need to conquer a backward land where people are superstitious.
That's why I'm going to turn the Tri-State Area into a reasonable flexibility of Gimmelshtump.
The buildings, the clothing, the more easily conquered backward mindset.
Here's a sample, look.
My beautiful modern state-of-the-art bathroom is changed into a Gimmelshtumpian potter room.
Ah, that takes me back.
Well, I gotta get home, Stacy.
Jeremy's supposed to drop off my MP3 player this afternoon on his way to work.
Well, don't attack him, Ms.
Undead! Right.
As if.
Jeremy won't be here for another couple minutes.
That gives me just enough to time to bust Phineas and Ferb.
Okay, you guys are so Hey, they're not here.
What's this? This stuff's way below their usually bustable level.
I wonder what they're doing out here with Dad's old barbells.
Hey, I've never been able toâ Super strength.
What if there really was a vampire bat? Candace, get a hold of yourself.
I mean, it's not like I can fly.
Oh, my gosh! Okay, there's only one way to know for sure.
A mirror.
Oh, no! No reflection! Two minutes earlier Okay, Ferb, let's run through the list.
To fulfill Isabella's request, we've rigged a super bright grow-light to imminently go on and off as Bambina needs it.
Next, Baljeet's request to lift heavy objects accomplished by using gravity-counter acting barbells.
Check.
I am so happy.
I have just torn my roti-cal curve.
Buford's request to float in the air using levitation air jets in the lawn.
Now I can look down on everyone.
Last up is Irving's request to be invisible.
Accomplished with this mirror-shape live video playback and effects screen.
Sweet! Two and a half minutes later Is it possible? Am I a vampire? The hideous light of the day star! I am a vampire.
I must hide myself! Now, what's gonna be the first part of the Tri-State Area to get the Gimmelshtump makeover? Oh, yeah? Take that! Oh, not theâ Not the forehead, not the forheâ I don't know if you noticed or not but I was a boxing champion in my middle-school back in Gimmelshtump, and I got a few moves inâ Candace? I brought your MP3 player withâ Don't look at me! I have to get away from you, Jeremy! For your own protection.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Fletcher.
Oh! Candace! Hey! I have to find Phineas and Ferb! They'll know how to change me back.
Did Candace just jump over that fence? You had to take her to the vampire movie, didn't you? (Song: Vampire Song) It's not romantic or that cool To live forever more! Or when you have to buy your undead things From Danville's one Goth store! I'm a grim and lonely vampire teen Living in a brightly lit suburban dream I should sleep, sleep, sleep 'til the day is done But I'm a lost little vampire in the sun! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Yeah, my dad said I could drive it, just as long as I didn't get a scratch on it.
Oh, my dad's gonna kill me! Why, dude? It's not scratched.
Jeremy! Oh, hey, Candace! Did you come to pick up your MP3 player? Huh? Noâ No! Have you seen my brothers? Sure.
Yeah, they were just here.
They went home to look for you.
Oh, no! Villagers! Vhat about your music box, mitt ze Tiny Cowboy? Oh, no! More villagers! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home! You don't stand a chance with that tile still stuck to your feet.
My knee again, really?! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Time, time, time! I need a bathroom break.
I'll be right back, okay? Don't do anything until I get back, okay? Don't touch a thing.
I'll be rightâ Uh Oh What was that? Well, now it's scratched.
Curse you, Perry the Platâ Oh.
Never mind! Phineas, open the door! Open the door, open the door.
Open the door, open the door.
There's angry villagers out here.
Open the door! Hey, Candace, what's wrong? There's a bunch of villagers and they're after me.
You mean those guys? Candace, I think they prefer to be called marathoners.
Why would marathoners be following anyone? Besides, you know, three guys from Kenya.
Because I'm a vampire, Phineas.
What makes you think you're a vampire? Well, I can lift heavy objects and I can levitate and and I can't see my reflection in the mirror.
It sounds like a vampire to me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come here Ferb, come here.
I think I know what's going on here.
Candace, when you discovered that you had these powers, were you in the backyard? Yeah, why? Oh, Candace, that was just some stuff we made for our friends.
You're not a vampire, look, I'll prove it.
See? The sun has absolutely no effect on you.
Ferb, we're gonna need a dustpan and some glue.
When you have to buy your undead things From Danville's one Goth store! I'm a grim and lonely vampire teen Living in a brightly lit suburban dream I should sleep, sleep, sleep 'til the day is done But I'm a lost little vampire in the sun!