The Secret Life of the American Teenager s03e23 Episode Script
Round II
erican Teenager Are those invitations to my shower? Maybe you'd give me a list of friends you'd like to invite.
I don't have any friends.
I want to invite the girls who thought that I got just what I deserved when I got pregnant.
Did you do that just to show how many girls Ricky slept with? Amy, this isn't about you.
This is about me.
[Ricky.]
You don't know anything about that fight, and neither do I.
Let's stay out of it, and that's the last time I'm saying that.
Poor Grace.
It got really tough.
Complain, complain, complain.
I can't believe you just said that.
Do you really love Ricky, or do you just want to justify getting pregnant by him in the first place? All I know is your son came over my house tonight and said some horrible things to my daughter.
But from his perspective, those horrible things are true.
I don't want to be part of all this.
I don't really think you should be getting married.
If you don't want to be friends with Adrian, then you don't want to be friends with me.
You still care about me? You really didn't care if you completely destroyed my relationship with Ricky just to have a little fun.
And you didn't really care if you completely destroyed this family just to have a little fun at band camp.
John, did you see where Mommy put her English book? It's in here somewhere.
It's got to be in here somewhere.
[sighs.]
John, I really need my English Lit book.
I haven't finished my homework, and we're going to be late.
Morning.
Morning, John.
What are you doing here? No, never mind what you're doing here.
Whatever you're doing here, can you take John to the nursery? I'm late.
I stayed up too late, I got up too late, and I can't find my English Lit book, and I haven't done my homework.
I'm surprised you had any time with homework with Ben being over here last night.
I was going to tell you when I saw you at school.
Really? Yeah.
Maybe not at school, but I was definitely going to tell you tonight, if I told you-- Is that why you're over here? Are you upset that Ben was over here? I told him to stay away from you and let you and Adrian work things out.
Yeah, I know.
If you knew, why didn't you tell me he was over here? I really don't have time for this, this morning.
Can you take John? Yeah, I'll take him, but I want to know what Ben said to you.
I don't remember the details.
It's all kind of a blur.
I'm really running late.
Can we talk later? Can we talk now? How did you know Ben was over here? Adrian told me.
When did you talk to Adrian? When I called her to ask her to come over here and apologize to you.
Oh, so you don't really think we can work things out ourselves.
It didn't look like it was going that way.
I don't want Adrian to come over here and apologize to me.
Why not? Because that would make her the bigger person.
Then you apologize to her.
I'm not apologizing to her.
If anyone owes anyone an apology, it's you.
For what? You knew I slept with other girls.
You can't expect me to apologize for sleeping with other girls just because you know who some of them are now.
Did you ever tell them that you love them? Ah, then you do remember what Ben said.
Yeah, you told Ben, and he told me.
You should've been the one to tell me.
Why? Why? Because I thought we told each other everything.
No, apparently not, because I found out from Adrian that Ben was over here, not from you.
I said I was going to tell you.
"If.
" You said "If.
" What else did he say? Don't worry about it.
I already took care of it.
What do you mean, you took care of it? No, I am worried about it.
He knows what Ben said, but I don't know? How did you take care of it? You don't want to know.
I do want to know.
He was talking to me.
I don't care who he was talking to.
I want to know.
I went to see Leo.
I told him in no uncertain terms that I want Ben to apologize to you.
Why would you do that? Because no one says the things that Ben said to my daughter without my saying something about it.
Would someone tell me what Ben said before I lose it here? If I tell you, you're really going to lose it.
That conversation was between Ben and me.
And me.
No, it wasn't.
And I don't need you to go over to Leo's and tell him to tell Ben to apologize to me, and I don't need you to go over to Adrian's and tell her to apologize to me.
You know how much you love John? I love you more than 17 times that much, and no one is going to treat my little girl like that.
Ben accused Amy of faking her feelings for you so she wouldn't look bad for having sex with you at band camp.
Are you kidding me? He said that? Something like that.
It's all so ridiculous, I don't care.
All right? Not all right.
I care.
I love you.
Yeah.
You love a lot of girls.
Where does Ben get the nerve to say something like that? From his father.
Leo basically blames my little Amy for ruining Ben's life.
Well, I guess to be fair, she did know she was pregnant with my baby when she went out with Ben the first time.
So you agree with Leo? No, I don't agree with Leo.
That doesn't even sound like Mr.
Boykewich.
He actually said Amy ruined Ben's life? Yep.
So he thinks Ben's life is ruined? Apparently.
That doesn't make any sense.
So what are you going to do? I'm going to take John to the nursery.
And then what? I don't know what.
Falling in love Is such an easy thing to do Birds can do it We can do it Let's stop talking, Let's get to it Let's fall in love I'd like to see Leo Boykewich.
Oh, no one gets in to see the king.
All right.
I'm just joking.
He's not the Wizard of Oz.
He sees people.
Did we forget an appointment? Uh, no.
I'm Camiel.
I'm Leo's assistant.
You're Ricky, right? How do you know that? Are you kidding me? Leo talks about you all the time.
I knew who you were when you stepped off the elevator.
Plus he has a picture of you and Ben working in the butcher shop his desk.
You're much more handsome in person.
He has a picture of me on his desk? You and Ben, mm-hm.
You want me to see if I can reach him? He's probably still in his car.
No, no, that's okay.
Could you do me a favor and not mention this to him, that I dropped by? Leo would want to know that you came by.
I wanted to talk to him, but suddenly it seems like it's a bad idea.
Is there anything I can help you with? No, I'm just an idiot.
He already knows that, so I'll just be going.
I don't think that you're an idiot, and I know that Leo has a lot of respect for you.
Sure you don't want to tell me what's going on? No, it's personal, and I just heard he said something that he couldn't possibly have meant, something that would really hurt someone, someone that I care about.
Oh, dear.
Well, listen.
Leo is a really good man.
I don't think he'd say anything to hurt anybody, not intentionally anyway.
No, he wouldn't.
I'm sure he wouldn't Thanks.
Sorry if I bothered you.
No, no, not at all.
Tell Amy I said hi.
Mr.
Boykewich has a picture of me on his desk? You and Ben.
Oh, and another small one of you and John on the bookcase.
You know, he's really hoping that you're going to go to college.
He so wants you to do well.
I mean, he just thinks the world of you.
You're like a second son to him.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Well, I do.
Leo Boykewich, you get your butt over to Amy's house right this minute and apologize before something bad happens.
Obviously George told Amy what you said, and she told Ricky.
I can't talk to Amy.
I don't know what she knows.
I told you, I'll go over later, and I'll apologize-- N-No, uh-uh, not George.
Amy.
Amy is the offended party here, not George.
How did I get into this? Well, you opened your mouth when you shouldn't have, which is not like you.
Also not like you, blaming other people or hiding in your office from an 18-year-old who you love like your own son.
I just said some stupid, stupid things, and now I'm embarrassed.
I was just so upset.
It just came out.
Oh, it just came out.
Yes, it just came out.
So you don't blame Amy at all for what happened to Ben? No, I don't.
I love Amy.
And I love Adrian.
I do.
She's the mother of my son's baby, and she's going to be his wife.
I love Adrian.
Okay, well, you keep telling yourself that.
I don't really like her all that much.
I know that, but it's not your family.
It's my family, and I love Adrian, and so does my wife.
Betty is very, very excited about all of this.
And how are we feeling about Betty today? I love Betty every day.
More some days than others.
And how are we feeling about me today? You? I don't like you at all today.
Oh, you like me.
You've liked me for 25 years.
And because you like me, I am going to say this to you.
You're under too much stress.
Okay? You're under too much stress, and that's making you say things to people that you don't mean to say, and that's creating more stress, and the last thing you need right now is more stress between Ben and Adrian and the prenup and Betty and this new business that you're taking on, you're-- you're going to snap, Leo.
You mark my words.
You are going to snap.
Thanks for the warning, Camiel, but I already snapped.
Why don't you walk Moose over there? You can do that for P.
E.
today.
[groans.]
Why can't Amy ever walk Moose? Because Amy's not the one who's home schooled and has a P.
E.
requirement.
Still mad at me? [chuckles.]
No.
I'm not still mad at you.
I'm sorry I got upset.
And knowing that you did what you did because you love me so much, really just made all the bad things that people have ever said to me just, um, disappear.
What did he say? Did it start with "abracadabra"? Maybe he's trying to make you disappear.
I just said something nice.
You should try it sometime, and you know why, actually? I don't want to know.
Because good begets good, and bad begets bad.
Are you quoting the Bible now? Yes-- "Episiotomy" 9:29.
And today, Amy, I hope you're going to do something good and get that shower for Adrian going again.
Oh, I don't know if I can do something that good.
You can do it.
I know you can do it.
I can do it, but-- But it's the right thing to do, and you always do the right thing.
Are you kidding me? All right, I will try to make the shower happen.
Don't just try.
I don't want any repeats of yesterday.
All right, Dad.
[mocking.]
"All right, Dad.
" What is going on with you two? Nothing.
Well, something-- something is going on.
Something was going on, but we're fine, Ashley and me.
No, we're not.
Okay, we're not.
I'm sorry for what I said to you last night.
All right.
Well, if either of you come across my English Lit book, I really need it.
Have a nice day.
[whines.]
What did she say to you? She said that I'm ugly.
What did you say to her? That she destroyed our family by having a baby.
Okay, well, you're not ugly, and she didn't destroy our family by having a baby.
Amy gets magic, and I get that? Ashley, you're a beautiful girl.
You can't walk around looking like that and not know tha and Amy didn't break up our family.
I broke up our family.
Who cares? What? What is getting you so upset? I don't know.
I'm just upset, okay? And angry and about nothing and everything.
Well, a lot has happened that would make you justifiably angry.
On the other hand, you've kind of been angry since birth.
That's part of your charm.
I'm not charming, okay? And I'm not pretty, and I'm not that smart, and no one likes me.
I like you.
You don't even know me.
Okay, tell me something about yourself I don't know.
I have Amy's English book.
[whines.]
as a father.
The magician said to bring you your book.
You had this? Yeah, I had it.
You left it on the kitchen table.
I was reading it.
I didn't know you needed it.
You had my book and you didn't tell me? You sound upset.
Did the magic spell wear off? I needed this book to do my homework.
I didn't do my homework because I didn't have the book.
Oh, you worry about all the wrong things.
You know that? [British accent.]
'Ello, mates.
[normal voice.]
I drove Ashley here.
That was very nice of you, Toby.
You're a very nice guy.
Hopefully Ashley can do something nice for you in return.
Like Yeah, like what, have sex with him? Why would you think that I meant that? You want to have sex with him? Have sex with him.
Thought you only wanted to have sex with Ricky.
Have sex with him.
Much better idea.
Just be sure to use a condom.
It's just a mile and a half over here, and your dad kind of made her bring you your book.
But thanks for the suggestion.
Hey, we're really sorry about yesterday.
We're definitely coming to the shower, and we're going to bring presents.
Why? Because you're our friend, our best friend.
And Adrian actually kind of overhear us talking in the hall about how she's not nice, so now we kind of have to.
Yeah, we feel really bad about that.
Actually I feel badly about some of the things I said to Adrian, too.
I guess I better find her and apologize.
Yeah, you should do that.
You should.
I'm going to right after I call Grace to make sure she still wants out of the shower because there's no sense in apologizing if it's already been decided that there is no shower.
I think her mom is kind of insisting that you two still give Adrian a shower.
Oh, I didn't know.
My parents were very busy getting involved in our lives yesterday.
Your parents? Ben came over to my house last night and told me off, and then my dad went over to Ben's house and told Leo off and demanded that Ben apologize to me.
[chuckles.]
Yeah.
And what did Mr.
Boykewich say when you dad told him off? I guess he said that Ben would apologize to me.
Did you tell Ben off after he told you off? Well, I-- I guess I might have said some things that I shouldn't have said.
I guess he's not going to apapologi.
[sighs.]
At least not now, anyway.
No, guess not.
Whatever.
My dad told me I have to apologize to Adrian, so I will apologize to Adrian eventually.
I'm going to call Grace.
[rings.]
Hi, Amy, I can't talk right now.
I'm late for school, obviously.
Okay, well, I just wanted to let you know that Madison and Lauren came to me and said that they want to go to the shower, um, if that's okay with you and Adrian and if we're still going to have the shower.
[sniffles.]
We have to have the shower.
You okay? No, I'm not okay, but I have to go.
I can't talk right now.
She sounded upset, like really upset.
I know what that's about.
This belongs to my son.
You've been reading my texts? I can get away with things at this age.
Also at my age, I like to sit.
Don't apologize to Grant.
You don't have anything to apologize for.
You let him come to you.
You let him apologize to you for acting like that.
You weren't doing anything wrong, were you? No.
Maybe I should just tell him how much he means to me and how nice he is.
I don't know.
I'm just so afraid of losing him.
[sighs.]
I'm glad I have a boy.
I can't stand the tears.
Buck up, sweetheart.
You're not going to lose him.
He-- [laughing.]
The guy's in love with you.
Yeah, but-- But nothing.
Don't you see? He should've declared his-- his-- his turf, defended his territory.
You're worth defending, cookie.
"Cookie"? Like a sugar cookie, sweet and sparkly.
I never had a nickname before.
You got one now.
I don't deserve a nickname like that.
I'm not that sweet.
I'm a terrible girlfriend.
I'm-- I'm a terrible daughter.
I'm a terrible sister.
I'm a terrible friend.
I'm not a shrink, cookie.
I'm afraid all I can help you with is Grant.
That's all I really want to help you with.
You're very emotional.
[whimpering.]
I know.
All right.
Well, if you ever need to talk about Grant again, you just call me.
Yeah, I know, you'll call Jack's dad.
But I'm not the jealous type.
I just think you're good for my boy, you know? But I want him to be good for you, so you hang in there and play it smart because you're a winner.
We're going to be friends for a long time, Cookie.
I hope so.
Then it's a grand slam for Foeburg.
Out of the park.
Thanks for coming.
She said that to you, that I had sex with you, that I got pregnant, and I'm marrying you just to get back at Ricky? Why didn't you tell me this last night? Because it was late, and you really need your sleep.
I can't believe I was going to apologize to her for yesterday when she said that to you.
Yeah, well, she also sent her dad over to tell my dad to tell me to apologize to her.
What? And what did your dad say? He yelled at me for what I said to Amy, and he told me to apologize, and at some point I guess I have to apologize.
What about what she said to you? Yeah, well Look, there's Grace.
I'll let you two talk.
Hi, Grace.
Hi, Adrian.
We really do need to talk.
I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday, and so is Amy.
We still really want to throw the shower for you, and Amy said that Madison and Lauren want to come, and I'm sure plenty of other girls do, too.
No, no shower.
No Amy, no Lauren, no Madison.
Just you and me.
We'll have lunch.
That's the shower.
But Amy made the reservation at the restaurant.
She put down, like, $200 at Jeff's.
Good.
We'll have steak and lobster.
I thought you said you couldn't have shellfish at this stage of your pregnancy? It doesn't mean I can't order it, a whole lot of it.
Adrian, you wouldn't even be getting back at Amy.
You'd be getting back at George.
He gave her the money.
Even better.
After what George and Amy said to Leo and Ben, they deserve to lose $200, and they're getting off cheap, and you can tell them that, both of them.
Can we not do this, please? I was having a really good morning.
I got a nickname from Grant's dad.
"Cookie.
" Well, there's no shower, Cookie.
Just you and me.
Adrian, wait.
Amy, don't-- don't even try to talk to her.
I can't believe I almost apologized to you, and I tried to get Ben to apologize to you.
So what? I almost apologized to you and to Ben.
Almost only counts in horseshoes, so why don't you guys apologize right now, to each other really apologize? Shut up, Cookie.
Okay, what did I do now? Hm? What did I say? And who's Cookie? Okay, look, I don't know what's going on here, but I just wanted to work things out so that we can have the shower for you.
Well, I don't want to work things out, and I don't want an apology from you, you big fake.
I don't want a shower.
Fine.
Then we won't work things out.
I won't apologize to you.
I didn't want to apologize to you anyway, and nobody wanted to come to your shower.
That's how we got into all this in the first place.
Adrian, remember, Adrian's having a baby.
I know that, okay? I know that she's having a baby, but she's not the only one who's going through something.
I'm going through something, too, okay? I had a baby, I am a mother, and I have to work after school, and I don't have time to do my homework or to take care of my son John or to have a relationship with his father who half of you have slept with.
And, by the way, he doesn't love you, okay? He loves me.
I-- I don't care what he told you.
[inaudible.]
Not that we even have a chance at being happy because no one in my family is happy.
That's why my parents are divorced, that and I had a baby.
And bonus? I am failing English.
I (ave never failed before ever.
Yeah, I got incompletes when John was born, but I have never failed.
I'm failing.
[sighs.]
I'm overwhelmed.
You have no idea what it's like to be a teenage mother.
It stinks.
Okay? No matter how much you love the kid, it stinks.
You just wait and see, Adrian.
It is not easy to be a mother in high school.
I know that.
I know it's not easy.
You know how I know it's not easy? My mother was a teenage mother.
I've been there.
I've lived it.
Do you have any idea how I feel, how I have felt my whole life? I never had anything.
I never had what other girls had.
I never had a father until I went out and I tracked him down, and then when he married my mother, what did I do? I disappointed them both by doing just what they did.
I hate myself.
A lot of days I hate myself, but I get up, and I come to school, and I try to forget that I hate myself because I don't want anyone to know, and I don't want my baby to feel that, to feel that hate and that insecurity and that awful feeling of not being like everyone else.
Do you know how hard I've worked to get to a place where I like myself? To have just an ounce-- an ounce of self-esteem? Huh? Do you? I'm sexy.
Yeah.
That was a gift.
But I had to work on my self-esteem.
And you? You're lucky.
You had two best friends by your side all the way through school.
I didn't have any friends.
I don't have any friends.
[clears throat.]
Except for Cookie.
Do you know what? Who's idea was it to have this stupid shower anyway? Yours.
[class bell rings.]
Look, we've all said things that we shouldn't have said, so let me just be the first one to apologize.
I apologize, Amy.
[sighs.]
And I apologize to you for not staying out of it.
I just made it worse.
Okay, I guess I'll be the only one to apologize.
Look, let me add that Adrian really wanted this shower, and I wanted it for her.
And maybe she shouldn't have invited all the girls that Ricky slept with, but it wasn't malicious.
It was thoughtless maybe.
Sorry, Adrian, but it wasn't malicious, Amy.
Besides, you already knew that Ricky had slept with all those girls.
He's Ricky.
He's the bad boy.
It's just what he does.
He's the guy that all the girls want, but you got him.
Okay, Amy? You got him, and Adrian got me, and we've all got each other, so please, let's just all try to get along before any of us get emotionally naked again in the school hallway.
You're idiots.
You know that? You're all idiots.
Me, too? Don't you get it? Don't any of you get it? I'm not e bad boy.
I'm damaged goods.
And I've worked for half my life to try to get over what happened to me.
Having indiscriminant sex is not a happy thing, for me or for any abused kid who's trying to heal.
I'm trying to heal for my life, okay? And it was embarrassing to me that you called all those girls over, Adrian.
And it was embarrassing to me that you saw them as competition, Amy, like I'm some kind of prize that girls are fighting over.
I hurt them, okay? I hurt them, and I'm embarrassed by that.
I'm embarrassed by this whole thing.
All because of this stupid shower.
She's always gotten more attention than I have.
Back in the old days, when she was good, she got more attention for being good, and then she was bad, and she got even more attention for being bad.
And she's still getting more attention.
My dad and I used to be really close, but now he's just as close to Amy.
Yeah, but she and your mother used to be really close, and now you're just as close to her, right? I'm going to quit talking to you if you keep repeating stuff I've said back to me at the wrong time.
Sorry.
Where were we? I should be used to being invisible by now.
But I'm not.
I know something that would get your dad's attention.
Oh, duh, let me see.
If I had sex with you? It's weird.
It's like you're psychic.
You know my every thought.
That's because every thought is the same.
Don't you ever think about anything but sex? Well not really, no.
I had sex a couple times, but it wasn't that good.
The first girl cried a lot afterward, and then she told her mother, and then her mother told my mother, and then I got into a lot of trouble even though it was her idea in the first place.
And the second girl kept yelling, "Not like that!" And then I cried.
Not in front of her, but when I got home.
Is that supposed to make me want to do it? Couldn't we just do it one time, just agree that it would be this one time, and then we'd never have to do it again? I just want one normal sexual experience.
Well, I'm not normal, so I doubt sex with me would be normal.
In your case, I'll take "not normal.
" I'd be willing to risk it.
I'm serious.
I'm not normal.
And I couldn't guarantee what the results are going to be.
And you know I'm angry, and I'm critical.
Yeah.
I'd still be willing to risk it.
I'm not having sex with you.
All right.
Then I'll settle for you saying something nice to me.
You say something nice to me first.
You're prettier than your sister.
All right, I'll have sex with you.
Really? No.
Some girl actually said, "Not like that"? Does my pain amuse you? Yeah, it does.
Maybe we could be friends.
Or more than friends.
Maybe.
Before you say anything I was a complete ass, and I'm sorry.
You don't owe me an apology.
You owe Alice an apology.
I know.
I was looking for the two of you at school.
We weren't at school today.
Oh, why weren't you at school today? Because of what you said to Alice.
Her mother said we could take a mental health day, so we did.
Of course, her mother and her father went to work, so we pretty much just hung out around the house having sex.
I think she feels a lot better.
I mean, she's hurt, but she's better.
Really? Because I'm finding that sex with Adrian is pretty much wrecking my mental health.
Look, I was going to call Alice last night, but I was too busy getting yelled at.
Someone should yell at you.
In your attempt to defend your woman, you offended my woman, and me.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry.
Look, go over to Alice's with me.
I want to talk to her.
Now might not be the best time.
Her uncles are over there, discussing what you said to her.
Yakuza.
"Yakuza"? Ya-kuza.
Japanese mobsters.
Alice's uncles? No.
Did I scare you? No.
I know Alice wouldn't let anyone do anything bad to me.
I know Alice.
She loves both of us, and I love both of you.
You're my best friends, and it really kills me when I think of what I said to her and that I hurt her.
She's in the closet, you know.
What? Alice is gay? No.
She's in your closet.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
All right, I'm sorry, too.
I love you, Ben.
All right, that's enough.
Are those cookies, Cookie? [chuckles.]
Yes.
Isn't it funny that your dad gave me that nickname and I bake cookies all the time and he doesn't even know? Did you want one? I feel too humiliated to eat.
I owe you an apology for the way I acted last night.
Whatever's going on with you and Jack was between you and Jack and in no way threatens me or our relationship, except for the fact that I acted like a little kid and ran from the room.
That might threaten our relationship.
Does that threaten our relationship? No.
Sometimes people just do stupid things or say stupid things.
I myself have have said and done many stupid things.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I love your dad.
And he loves you, Cookie.
[chuckles.]
I understand, and I hope you understand that I'm under a lot of pressure, too.
Anne and I are still trying to figure out how to handle things now that we're divorced, and, obviously, I'm failing miserably as a single parent.
I was a single parent for a long time.
It's not easy.
Uh Hi.
Um, am I interrupting something? Come here, John.
Uncle Leo wants to talk to Amy.
I'm really sorry about what I said to Ben.
Yeah, well, you can tell that to Ben, then.
This isn't about that.
I said something to your father about you last night that I didn't mean, and I need to apologize to you.
It's okay, Mr.
Boykewich.
I don't really know why, but it's okay.
It's really not okay.
I don't want to say something that'll hurt you, but someone might tell you what I said, and I'd rather you hear it from me.
In a moment of anger that I'm not proud of, I blamed you for ruining Ben's life.
Well, I understand why you might do that.
I don't really blame you, and I don't really think his life is ruined.
I mean, if his life is ruined for having a baby in high school, then I suppose your life is ruined, and, obviously, your life is not ruined.
I've seen you with John and Ricky.
You're a strong young woman, all the stronger for everything you've been through.
It's just painful to watch Ben and Adrian know that they're going to go through that pain, too.
It's hard on a parent.
I love my son.
Yeah.
It's kind of like the way I love John, just 17 years times that.
Yeah, like that.
And I guess your dad told Ricky what I said you, today, and he came down to my office to confront me.
Ricky did? Yes, he did, and I hid from him.
I was so embarrassed, I hid from him.
I mean, me hiding from Ricky.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
Think I might be doing that for a while.
[chuckles.]
[sighs.]
[man chattering on TV.]
I brought cookies for you guys.
Is anyone speaking to me? No.
I'm speaking to you.
We just don't want cookies you baked for Grant.
No, I think we do.
[clicks off TV.]
Of course you do.
I'm really sorry that I yelled at you, Tom.
I should've known that your old girlfriend wouldn't want to go to Adrian's shower knowing how you feel about Adrian.
And even though Tammy's married to somebody else, she was your first love, and I'm sure you'll both always have a place in your hearts for each other.
You got that right.
I love you, Tom.
You know I love you, and I'll help you find someone to go out with.
I promise.
Uh no.
Thanks, sis, but I love you, too.
Thanks for the cookies.
You're welcome.
Say "Thanks for the cookies.
" Do you mind if I talk to Grace alone? Go ahead.
I take complete responsibility for messing things up with us.
No, you can't take complete responsibility.
I made mistakes, too, not the same type of mistakes you made, but I made mistakes.
And hey, we tried it, we gave it a shot, and it just didn't work out.
I feel like a big wuss for saying this, but I don't think I've got the guts to really try it again, with Madison.
I keep running back to you because I think it would be better to mess things up with you than to mess things up with Madison.
You don't really have a choice, I guess.
Yeah, I guess I don't.
But I don't think you'll mess things up with Madison.
I don't think you'll cheat on her or anything.
And you're a good guy.
You've always been a good guy.
Thanks.
Sure.
Bye.
Bye.
I'll see you around the house? Yep.
[knock on door.]
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here? I'm just dropping Robie off.
Your dad's taking him for the weekend.
But it's not the weekend.
It's the middle of the week.
Yeah, I know, but he offered, so do you want to come back with me? It's a school night.
That's the beauty of home school.
You can do it anywhere.
What about Amy? Amy doesn't have that option.
Besides, how often do you and I get to spend time together without Amy or Robby? It'll be fun.
We can stay up late, go to the movies.
You can even come with me to play rummy at Mimsy's assisted care.
That sounds like fun.
Yeah, it is.
So why don't you just throw some stuff in a bag, and let's go.
All right, I will.
[tapping cell phone.]
Toby? I just want to let him know I won't be here.
That's good.
You should let him know.
What's that look? Nothing, not a look.
He's just a friend.
No-- a friend.
Oh, my God, is he more than a friend? No, he is not more than a friend.
Friend is good.
Yeah, it's nice to have someone to talk to.
You can always talk to me, you know.
Yeah, I know.
And I can talk to you about you.
[sighs.]
Just Feel so stupid and ashamed of myself.
Yeah, I think we all do.
Should we call Ricky? Do you want to call Ricky? No.
No, I think I'll wait a few days to talk to him.
Yeah, that might be a good idea.
I'm going to be a better person.
Me, too, but neither of us are bad people.
No, but-- [sighs.]
I've said some bad things, and I've done some bad things.
Everybody has.
Really? You think? I think.
Do you think we'll be good parents? Yeah, I think we'll be good parents.
I think we'll still make mistakes, but we'll be good parents.
Thanks for loving me, Ben.
Pleasure.
Thanks for loving me.
[knock on door.]
I'm coming.
[sighs.]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Come on in.
I'm not going to stay long.
I just wanted to say that face to face.
[chuckles.]
No matter how red my face is.
I'm really sorry.
Yeah, well you and I have never really talked about my past.
I don't really like to talk about it.
I lost my temper.
I don't like to do that either.
It's understandable that you would lose your temper.
And, you know, if you ever wanted to talk about what happened and all of that, you can talk to me.
Or I can talk to my shrink.
I don't want to get our lives entangled in my past, okay? I've worked really hard for years to let that stuff go.
Or I've tried to let that stuff go, and I'm still trying to let that stuff go.
It would be all right if I hugged you? How about I hug you? I'm really sorry.
Me, too, Amy.
Me, too.
I n't believe I'm even going to ask this, but, uh is there going to be a shower? Well this is nice.
We have the whole place to ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, the-- the whole place.
I haven't really seen much of you lately.
Yeah.
Yeah, we've both been really busy, you especially.
How's the condo coming? Oh, it-- it's coming along.
We've got the new window treatments in, and the nursery set up, and, well, most of the furniture is there.
The previous owners left some things, so we just added to that.
So are you ready for the wedding? I mean, in two weeks you're going to be Mrs.
Ben Boykewich.
Yeah, I'm ready.
I'm ready to be Mrs.
Ben Boykewich, but I'm not ready for the wedding.
I haven't picked the photographer or ordered the flowers or any of that, but I do have a dress.
Yeah.
I love your dress.
Yeah.
Hi.
The sign outside said "Closed for a private party.
" I don't think that people understood that the shower was the private party.
Sit down.
Yeah, please.
Hey.
Hey, Adrian.
Hi.
Congratulations on your wedding, and the baby.
Yeah, and thanks for inviting us to the shower.
Thank you for coming.
Bar Mitzvah cancelled.
So glad I got to come.
Mazel tov.
Thank you, Alice.
I'm really happy you're here.
And I'm sorry about the bar mitzvah.
That's okay.
My cousin's not really Jewish.
He just wanted a bar mitzvah because all his friends are Jewish.
See ya.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm Marsha.
We were lab partners last year.
You stayed after class to help me with a homework assignment.
Oh, yeah, Marsha.
Hi.
Uh, I don't like that kind of thing to get out, you know? Oh, yeah.
Got it.
Well, good luck with everything, and thanks for inviting me.
Sure.
This is so grownup.
Then again, I guess getting married and having a baby is, well, pretty grownup.
Uh-huh.
Adrian, you remember Lisa.
You let me sit with you at lunch my first day of school.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Good to see you.
Thank you for coming.
Sure.
Thanks for letting me.
This is Debbie.
Duh, I think Adrian knows who I am.
Hey, Adrian, congratulations.
Long time no see.
Debbie told me the story about how she was in the bathroom crying one day, and you told her to dump her boyfriend.
Yes, and how is your boyfriend, Debbie? He's still dumped.
Oh, well, good.
Yeah.
Well, here you go.
Thank you.
Amy and I have been working really hard.
As it turns out, you do have plenty of friends.
Maybe it was the pity speech in the hallway.
Yeah, that might have had a little something to do with it.
Or maybe you're just not as bad as you think.
Thank you, Grace.
Thanks, Amy.
[chattering.]
I don't have any friends.
I want to invite the girls who thought that I got just what I deserved when I got pregnant.
Did you do that just to show how many girls Ricky slept with? Amy, this isn't about you.
This is about me.
[Ricky.]
You don't know anything about that fight, and neither do I.
Let's stay out of it, and that's the last time I'm saying that.
Poor Grace.
It got really tough.
Complain, complain, complain.
I can't believe you just said that.
Do you really love Ricky, or do you just want to justify getting pregnant by him in the first place? All I know is your son came over my house tonight and said some horrible things to my daughter.
But from his perspective, those horrible things are true.
I don't want to be part of all this.
I don't really think you should be getting married.
If you don't want to be friends with Adrian, then you don't want to be friends with me.
You still care about me? You really didn't care if you completely destroyed my relationship with Ricky just to have a little fun.
And you didn't really care if you completely destroyed this family just to have a little fun at band camp.
John, did you see where Mommy put her English book? It's in here somewhere.
It's got to be in here somewhere.
[sighs.]
John, I really need my English Lit book.
I haven't finished my homework, and we're going to be late.
Morning.
Morning, John.
What are you doing here? No, never mind what you're doing here.
Whatever you're doing here, can you take John to the nursery? I'm late.
I stayed up too late, I got up too late, and I can't find my English Lit book, and I haven't done my homework.
I'm surprised you had any time with homework with Ben being over here last night.
I was going to tell you when I saw you at school.
Really? Yeah.
Maybe not at school, but I was definitely going to tell you tonight, if I told you-- Is that why you're over here? Are you upset that Ben was over here? I told him to stay away from you and let you and Adrian work things out.
Yeah, I know.
If you knew, why didn't you tell me he was over here? I really don't have time for this, this morning.
Can you take John? Yeah, I'll take him, but I want to know what Ben said to you.
I don't remember the details.
It's all kind of a blur.
I'm really running late.
Can we talk later? Can we talk now? How did you know Ben was over here? Adrian told me.
When did you talk to Adrian? When I called her to ask her to come over here and apologize to you.
Oh, so you don't really think we can work things out ourselves.
It didn't look like it was going that way.
I don't want Adrian to come over here and apologize to me.
Why not? Because that would make her the bigger person.
Then you apologize to her.
I'm not apologizing to her.
If anyone owes anyone an apology, it's you.
For what? You knew I slept with other girls.
You can't expect me to apologize for sleeping with other girls just because you know who some of them are now.
Did you ever tell them that you love them? Ah, then you do remember what Ben said.
Yeah, you told Ben, and he told me.
You should've been the one to tell me.
Why? Why? Because I thought we told each other everything.
No, apparently not, because I found out from Adrian that Ben was over here, not from you.
I said I was going to tell you.
"If.
" You said "If.
" What else did he say? Don't worry about it.
I already took care of it.
What do you mean, you took care of it? No, I am worried about it.
He knows what Ben said, but I don't know? How did you take care of it? You don't want to know.
I do want to know.
He was talking to me.
I don't care who he was talking to.
I want to know.
I went to see Leo.
I told him in no uncertain terms that I want Ben to apologize to you.
Why would you do that? Because no one says the things that Ben said to my daughter without my saying something about it.
Would someone tell me what Ben said before I lose it here? If I tell you, you're really going to lose it.
That conversation was between Ben and me.
And me.
No, it wasn't.
And I don't need you to go over to Leo's and tell him to tell Ben to apologize to me, and I don't need you to go over to Adrian's and tell her to apologize to me.
You know how much you love John? I love you more than 17 times that much, and no one is going to treat my little girl like that.
Ben accused Amy of faking her feelings for you so she wouldn't look bad for having sex with you at band camp.
Are you kidding me? He said that? Something like that.
It's all so ridiculous, I don't care.
All right? Not all right.
I care.
I love you.
Yeah.
You love a lot of girls.
Where does Ben get the nerve to say something like that? From his father.
Leo basically blames my little Amy for ruining Ben's life.
Well, I guess to be fair, she did know she was pregnant with my baby when she went out with Ben the first time.
So you agree with Leo? No, I don't agree with Leo.
That doesn't even sound like Mr.
Boykewich.
He actually said Amy ruined Ben's life? Yep.
So he thinks Ben's life is ruined? Apparently.
That doesn't make any sense.
So what are you going to do? I'm going to take John to the nursery.
And then what? I don't know what.
Falling in love Is such an easy thing to do Birds can do it We can do it Let's stop talking, Let's get to it Let's fall in love I'd like to see Leo Boykewich.
Oh, no one gets in to see the king.
All right.
I'm just joking.
He's not the Wizard of Oz.
He sees people.
Did we forget an appointment? Uh, no.
I'm Camiel.
I'm Leo's assistant.
You're Ricky, right? How do you know that? Are you kidding me? Leo talks about you all the time.
I knew who you were when you stepped off the elevator.
Plus he has a picture of you and Ben working in the butcher shop his desk.
You're much more handsome in person.
He has a picture of me on his desk? You and Ben, mm-hm.
You want me to see if I can reach him? He's probably still in his car.
No, no, that's okay.
Could you do me a favor and not mention this to him, that I dropped by? Leo would want to know that you came by.
I wanted to talk to him, but suddenly it seems like it's a bad idea.
Is there anything I can help you with? No, I'm just an idiot.
He already knows that, so I'll just be going.
I don't think that you're an idiot, and I know that Leo has a lot of respect for you.
Sure you don't want to tell me what's going on? No, it's personal, and I just heard he said something that he couldn't possibly have meant, something that would really hurt someone, someone that I care about.
Oh, dear.
Well, listen.
Leo is a really good man.
I don't think he'd say anything to hurt anybody, not intentionally anyway.
No, he wouldn't.
I'm sure he wouldn't Thanks.
Sorry if I bothered you.
No, no, not at all.
Tell Amy I said hi.
Mr.
Boykewich has a picture of me on his desk? You and Ben.
Oh, and another small one of you and John on the bookcase.
You know, he's really hoping that you're going to go to college.
He so wants you to do well.
I mean, he just thinks the world of you.
You're like a second son to him.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Well, I do.
Leo Boykewich, you get your butt over to Amy's house right this minute and apologize before something bad happens.
Obviously George told Amy what you said, and she told Ricky.
I can't talk to Amy.
I don't know what she knows.
I told you, I'll go over later, and I'll apologize-- N-No, uh-uh, not George.
Amy.
Amy is the offended party here, not George.
How did I get into this? Well, you opened your mouth when you shouldn't have, which is not like you.
Also not like you, blaming other people or hiding in your office from an 18-year-old who you love like your own son.
I just said some stupid, stupid things, and now I'm embarrassed.
I was just so upset.
It just came out.
Oh, it just came out.
Yes, it just came out.
So you don't blame Amy at all for what happened to Ben? No, I don't.
I love Amy.
And I love Adrian.
I do.
She's the mother of my son's baby, and she's going to be his wife.
I love Adrian.
Okay, well, you keep telling yourself that.
I don't really like her all that much.
I know that, but it's not your family.
It's my family, and I love Adrian, and so does my wife.
Betty is very, very excited about all of this.
And how are we feeling about Betty today? I love Betty every day.
More some days than others.
And how are we feeling about me today? You? I don't like you at all today.
Oh, you like me.
You've liked me for 25 years.
And because you like me, I am going to say this to you.
You're under too much stress.
Okay? You're under too much stress, and that's making you say things to people that you don't mean to say, and that's creating more stress, and the last thing you need right now is more stress between Ben and Adrian and the prenup and Betty and this new business that you're taking on, you're-- you're going to snap, Leo.
You mark my words.
You are going to snap.
Thanks for the warning, Camiel, but I already snapped.
Why don't you walk Moose over there? You can do that for P.
E.
today.
[groans.]
Why can't Amy ever walk Moose? Because Amy's not the one who's home schooled and has a P.
E.
requirement.
Still mad at me? [chuckles.]
No.
I'm not still mad at you.
I'm sorry I got upset.
And knowing that you did what you did because you love me so much, really just made all the bad things that people have ever said to me just, um, disappear.
What did he say? Did it start with "abracadabra"? Maybe he's trying to make you disappear.
I just said something nice.
You should try it sometime, and you know why, actually? I don't want to know.
Because good begets good, and bad begets bad.
Are you quoting the Bible now? Yes-- "Episiotomy" 9:29.
And today, Amy, I hope you're going to do something good and get that shower for Adrian going again.
Oh, I don't know if I can do something that good.
You can do it.
I know you can do it.
I can do it, but-- But it's the right thing to do, and you always do the right thing.
Are you kidding me? All right, I will try to make the shower happen.
Don't just try.
I don't want any repeats of yesterday.
All right, Dad.
[mocking.]
"All right, Dad.
" What is going on with you two? Nothing.
Well, something-- something is going on.
Something was going on, but we're fine, Ashley and me.
No, we're not.
Okay, we're not.
I'm sorry for what I said to you last night.
All right.
Well, if either of you come across my English Lit book, I really need it.
Have a nice day.
[whines.]
What did she say to you? She said that I'm ugly.
What did you say to her? That she destroyed our family by having a baby.
Okay, well, you're not ugly, and she didn't destroy our family by having a baby.
Amy gets magic, and I get that? Ashley, you're a beautiful girl.
You can't walk around looking like that and not know tha and Amy didn't break up our family.
I broke up our family.
Who cares? What? What is getting you so upset? I don't know.
I'm just upset, okay? And angry and about nothing and everything.
Well, a lot has happened that would make you justifiably angry.
On the other hand, you've kind of been angry since birth.
That's part of your charm.
I'm not charming, okay? And I'm not pretty, and I'm not that smart, and no one likes me.
I like you.
You don't even know me.
Okay, tell me something about yourself I don't know.
I have Amy's English book.
[whines.]
as a father.
The magician said to bring you your book.
You had this? Yeah, I had it.
You left it on the kitchen table.
I was reading it.
I didn't know you needed it.
You had my book and you didn't tell me? You sound upset.
Did the magic spell wear off? I needed this book to do my homework.
I didn't do my homework because I didn't have the book.
Oh, you worry about all the wrong things.
You know that? [British accent.]
'Ello, mates.
[normal voice.]
I drove Ashley here.
That was very nice of you, Toby.
You're a very nice guy.
Hopefully Ashley can do something nice for you in return.
Like Yeah, like what, have sex with him? Why would you think that I meant that? You want to have sex with him? Have sex with him.
Thought you only wanted to have sex with Ricky.
Have sex with him.
Much better idea.
Just be sure to use a condom.
It's just a mile and a half over here, and your dad kind of made her bring you your book.
But thanks for the suggestion.
Hey, we're really sorry about yesterday.
We're definitely coming to the shower, and we're going to bring presents.
Why? Because you're our friend, our best friend.
And Adrian actually kind of overhear us talking in the hall about how she's not nice, so now we kind of have to.
Yeah, we feel really bad about that.
Actually I feel badly about some of the things I said to Adrian, too.
I guess I better find her and apologize.
Yeah, you should do that.
You should.
I'm going to right after I call Grace to make sure she still wants out of the shower because there's no sense in apologizing if it's already been decided that there is no shower.
I think her mom is kind of insisting that you two still give Adrian a shower.
Oh, I didn't know.
My parents were very busy getting involved in our lives yesterday.
Your parents? Ben came over to my house last night and told me off, and then my dad went over to Ben's house and told Leo off and demanded that Ben apologize to me.
[chuckles.]
Yeah.
And what did Mr.
Boykewich say when you dad told him off? I guess he said that Ben would apologize to me.
Did you tell Ben off after he told you off? Well, I-- I guess I might have said some things that I shouldn't have said.
I guess he's not going to apapologi.
[sighs.]
At least not now, anyway.
No, guess not.
Whatever.
My dad told me I have to apologize to Adrian, so I will apologize to Adrian eventually.
I'm going to call Grace.
[rings.]
Hi, Amy, I can't talk right now.
I'm late for school, obviously.
Okay, well, I just wanted to let you know that Madison and Lauren came to me and said that they want to go to the shower, um, if that's okay with you and Adrian and if we're still going to have the shower.
[sniffles.]
We have to have the shower.
You okay? No, I'm not okay, but I have to go.
I can't talk right now.
She sounded upset, like really upset.
I know what that's about.
This belongs to my son.
You've been reading my texts? I can get away with things at this age.
Also at my age, I like to sit.
Don't apologize to Grant.
You don't have anything to apologize for.
You let him come to you.
You let him apologize to you for acting like that.
You weren't doing anything wrong, were you? No.
Maybe I should just tell him how much he means to me and how nice he is.
I don't know.
I'm just so afraid of losing him.
[sighs.]
I'm glad I have a boy.
I can't stand the tears.
Buck up, sweetheart.
You're not going to lose him.
He-- [laughing.]
The guy's in love with you.
Yeah, but-- But nothing.
Don't you see? He should've declared his-- his-- his turf, defended his territory.
You're worth defending, cookie.
"Cookie"? Like a sugar cookie, sweet and sparkly.
I never had a nickname before.
You got one now.
I don't deserve a nickname like that.
I'm not that sweet.
I'm a terrible girlfriend.
I'm-- I'm a terrible daughter.
I'm a terrible sister.
I'm a terrible friend.
I'm not a shrink, cookie.
I'm afraid all I can help you with is Grant.
That's all I really want to help you with.
You're very emotional.
[whimpering.]
I know.
All right.
Well, if you ever need to talk about Grant again, you just call me.
Yeah, I know, you'll call Jack's dad.
But I'm not the jealous type.
I just think you're good for my boy, you know? But I want him to be good for you, so you hang in there and play it smart because you're a winner.
We're going to be friends for a long time, Cookie.
I hope so.
Then it's a grand slam for Foeburg.
Out of the park.
Thanks for coming.
She said that to you, that I had sex with you, that I got pregnant, and I'm marrying you just to get back at Ricky? Why didn't you tell me this last night? Because it was late, and you really need your sleep.
I can't believe I was going to apologize to her for yesterday when she said that to you.
Yeah, well, she also sent her dad over to tell my dad to tell me to apologize to her.
What? And what did your dad say? He yelled at me for what I said to Amy, and he told me to apologize, and at some point I guess I have to apologize.
What about what she said to you? Yeah, well Look, there's Grace.
I'll let you two talk.
Hi, Grace.
Hi, Adrian.
We really do need to talk.
I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday, and so is Amy.
We still really want to throw the shower for you, and Amy said that Madison and Lauren want to come, and I'm sure plenty of other girls do, too.
No, no shower.
No Amy, no Lauren, no Madison.
Just you and me.
We'll have lunch.
That's the shower.
But Amy made the reservation at the restaurant.
She put down, like, $200 at Jeff's.
Good.
We'll have steak and lobster.
I thought you said you couldn't have shellfish at this stage of your pregnancy? It doesn't mean I can't order it, a whole lot of it.
Adrian, you wouldn't even be getting back at Amy.
You'd be getting back at George.
He gave her the money.
Even better.
After what George and Amy said to Leo and Ben, they deserve to lose $200, and they're getting off cheap, and you can tell them that, both of them.
Can we not do this, please? I was having a really good morning.
I got a nickname from Grant's dad.
"Cookie.
" Well, there's no shower, Cookie.
Just you and me.
Adrian, wait.
Amy, don't-- don't even try to talk to her.
I can't believe I almost apologized to you, and I tried to get Ben to apologize to you.
So what? I almost apologized to you and to Ben.
Almost only counts in horseshoes, so why don't you guys apologize right now, to each other really apologize? Shut up, Cookie.
Okay, what did I do now? Hm? What did I say? And who's Cookie? Okay, look, I don't know what's going on here, but I just wanted to work things out so that we can have the shower for you.
Well, I don't want to work things out, and I don't want an apology from you, you big fake.
I don't want a shower.
Fine.
Then we won't work things out.
I won't apologize to you.
I didn't want to apologize to you anyway, and nobody wanted to come to your shower.
That's how we got into all this in the first place.
Adrian, remember, Adrian's having a baby.
I know that, okay? I know that she's having a baby, but she's not the only one who's going through something.
I'm going through something, too, okay? I had a baby, I am a mother, and I have to work after school, and I don't have time to do my homework or to take care of my son John or to have a relationship with his father who half of you have slept with.
And, by the way, he doesn't love you, okay? He loves me.
I-- I don't care what he told you.
[inaudible.]
Not that we even have a chance at being happy because no one in my family is happy.
That's why my parents are divorced, that and I had a baby.
And bonus? I am failing English.
I (ave never failed before ever.
Yeah, I got incompletes when John was born, but I have never failed.
I'm failing.
[sighs.]
I'm overwhelmed.
You have no idea what it's like to be a teenage mother.
It stinks.
Okay? No matter how much you love the kid, it stinks.
You just wait and see, Adrian.
It is not easy to be a mother in high school.
I know that.
I know it's not easy.
You know how I know it's not easy? My mother was a teenage mother.
I've been there.
I've lived it.
Do you have any idea how I feel, how I have felt my whole life? I never had anything.
I never had what other girls had.
I never had a father until I went out and I tracked him down, and then when he married my mother, what did I do? I disappointed them both by doing just what they did.
I hate myself.
A lot of days I hate myself, but I get up, and I come to school, and I try to forget that I hate myself because I don't want anyone to know, and I don't want my baby to feel that, to feel that hate and that insecurity and that awful feeling of not being like everyone else.
Do you know how hard I've worked to get to a place where I like myself? To have just an ounce-- an ounce of self-esteem? Huh? Do you? I'm sexy.
Yeah.
That was a gift.
But I had to work on my self-esteem.
And you? You're lucky.
You had two best friends by your side all the way through school.
I didn't have any friends.
I don't have any friends.
[clears throat.]
Except for Cookie.
Do you know what? Who's idea was it to have this stupid shower anyway? Yours.
[class bell rings.]
Look, we've all said things that we shouldn't have said, so let me just be the first one to apologize.
I apologize, Amy.
[sighs.]
And I apologize to you for not staying out of it.
I just made it worse.
Okay, I guess I'll be the only one to apologize.
Look, let me add that Adrian really wanted this shower, and I wanted it for her.
And maybe she shouldn't have invited all the girls that Ricky slept with, but it wasn't malicious.
It was thoughtless maybe.
Sorry, Adrian, but it wasn't malicious, Amy.
Besides, you already knew that Ricky had slept with all those girls.
He's Ricky.
He's the bad boy.
It's just what he does.
He's the guy that all the girls want, but you got him.
Okay, Amy? You got him, and Adrian got me, and we've all got each other, so please, let's just all try to get along before any of us get emotionally naked again in the school hallway.
You're idiots.
You know that? You're all idiots.
Me, too? Don't you get it? Don't any of you get it? I'm not e bad boy.
I'm damaged goods.
And I've worked for half my life to try to get over what happened to me.
Having indiscriminant sex is not a happy thing, for me or for any abused kid who's trying to heal.
I'm trying to heal for my life, okay? And it was embarrassing to me that you called all those girls over, Adrian.
And it was embarrassing to me that you saw them as competition, Amy, like I'm some kind of prize that girls are fighting over.
I hurt them, okay? I hurt them, and I'm embarrassed by that.
I'm embarrassed by this whole thing.
All because of this stupid shower.
She's always gotten more attention than I have.
Back in the old days, when she was good, she got more attention for being good, and then she was bad, and she got even more attention for being bad.
And she's still getting more attention.
My dad and I used to be really close, but now he's just as close to Amy.
Yeah, but she and your mother used to be really close, and now you're just as close to her, right? I'm going to quit talking to you if you keep repeating stuff I've said back to me at the wrong time.
Sorry.
Where were we? I should be used to being invisible by now.
But I'm not.
I know something that would get your dad's attention.
Oh, duh, let me see.
If I had sex with you? It's weird.
It's like you're psychic.
You know my every thought.
That's because every thought is the same.
Don't you ever think about anything but sex? Well not really, no.
I had sex a couple times, but it wasn't that good.
The first girl cried a lot afterward, and then she told her mother, and then her mother told my mother, and then I got into a lot of trouble even though it was her idea in the first place.
And the second girl kept yelling, "Not like that!" And then I cried.
Not in front of her, but when I got home.
Is that supposed to make me want to do it? Couldn't we just do it one time, just agree that it would be this one time, and then we'd never have to do it again? I just want one normal sexual experience.
Well, I'm not normal, so I doubt sex with me would be normal.
In your case, I'll take "not normal.
" I'd be willing to risk it.
I'm serious.
I'm not normal.
And I couldn't guarantee what the results are going to be.
And you know I'm angry, and I'm critical.
Yeah.
I'd still be willing to risk it.
I'm not having sex with you.
All right.
Then I'll settle for you saying something nice to me.
You say something nice to me first.
You're prettier than your sister.
All right, I'll have sex with you.
Really? No.
Some girl actually said, "Not like that"? Does my pain amuse you? Yeah, it does.
Maybe we could be friends.
Or more than friends.
Maybe.
Before you say anything I was a complete ass, and I'm sorry.
You don't owe me an apology.
You owe Alice an apology.
I know.
I was looking for the two of you at school.
We weren't at school today.
Oh, why weren't you at school today? Because of what you said to Alice.
Her mother said we could take a mental health day, so we did.
Of course, her mother and her father went to work, so we pretty much just hung out around the house having sex.
I think she feels a lot better.
I mean, she's hurt, but she's better.
Really? Because I'm finding that sex with Adrian is pretty much wrecking my mental health.
Look, I was going to call Alice last night, but I was too busy getting yelled at.
Someone should yell at you.
In your attempt to defend your woman, you offended my woman, and me.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry.
Look, go over to Alice's with me.
I want to talk to her.
Now might not be the best time.
Her uncles are over there, discussing what you said to her.
Yakuza.
"Yakuza"? Ya-kuza.
Japanese mobsters.
Alice's uncles? No.
Did I scare you? No.
I know Alice wouldn't let anyone do anything bad to me.
I know Alice.
She loves both of us, and I love both of you.
You're my best friends, and it really kills me when I think of what I said to her and that I hurt her.
She's in the closet, you know.
What? Alice is gay? No.
She's in your closet.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
All right, I'm sorry, too.
I love you, Ben.
All right, that's enough.
Are those cookies, Cookie? [chuckles.]
Yes.
Isn't it funny that your dad gave me that nickname and I bake cookies all the time and he doesn't even know? Did you want one? I feel too humiliated to eat.
I owe you an apology for the way I acted last night.
Whatever's going on with you and Jack was between you and Jack and in no way threatens me or our relationship, except for the fact that I acted like a little kid and ran from the room.
That might threaten our relationship.
Does that threaten our relationship? No.
Sometimes people just do stupid things or say stupid things.
I myself have have said and done many stupid things.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I love your dad.
And he loves you, Cookie.
[chuckles.]
I understand, and I hope you understand that I'm under a lot of pressure, too.
Anne and I are still trying to figure out how to handle things now that we're divorced, and, obviously, I'm failing miserably as a single parent.
I was a single parent for a long time.
It's not easy.
Uh Hi.
Um, am I interrupting something? Come here, John.
Uncle Leo wants to talk to Amy.
I'm really sorry about what I said to Ben.
Yeah, well, you can tell that to Ben, then.
This isn't about that.
I said something to your father about you last night that I didn't mean, and I need to apologize to you.
It's okay, Mr.
Boykewich.
I don't really know why, but it's okay.
It's really not okay.
I don't want to say something that'll hurt you, but someone might tell you what I said, and I'd rather you hear it from me.
In a moment of anger that I'm not proud of, I blamed you for ruining Ben's life.
Well, I understand why you might do that.
I don't really blame you, and I don't really think his life is ruined.
I mean, if his life is ruined for having a baby in high school, then I suppose your life is ruined, and, obviously, your life is not ruined.
I've seen you with John and Ricky.
You're a strong young woman, all the stronger for everything you've been through.
It's just painful to watch Ben and Adrian know that they're going to go through that pain, too.
It's hard on a parent.
I love my son.
Yeah.
It's kind of like the way I love John, just 17 years times that.
Yeah, like that.
And I guess your dad told Ricky what I said you, today, and he came down to my office to confront me.
Ricky did? Yes, he did, and I hid from him.
I was so embarrassed, I hid from him.
I mean, me hiding from Ricky.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
Think I might be doing that for a while.
[chuckles.]
[sighs.]
[man chattering on TV.]
I brought cookies for you guys.
Is anyone speaking to me? No.
I'm speaking to you.
We just don't want cookies you baked for Grant.
No, I think we do.
[clicks off TV.]
Of course you do.
I'm really sorry that I yelled at you, Tom.
I should've known that your old girlfriend wouldn't want to go to Adrian's shower knowing how you feel about Adrian.
And even though Tammy's married to somebody else, she was your first love, and I'm sure you'll both always have a place in your hearts for each other.
You got that right.
I love you, Tom.
You know I love you, and I'll help you find someone to go out with.
I promise.
Uh no.
Thanks, sis, but I love you, too.
Thanks for the cookies.
You're welcome.
Say "Thanks for the cookies.
" Do you mind if I talk to Grace alone? Go ahead.
I take complete responsibility for messing things up with us.
No, you can't take complete responsibility.
I made mistakes, too, not the same type of mistakes you made, but I made mistakes.
And hey, we tried it, we gave it a shot, and it just didn't work out.
I feel like a big wuss for saying this, but I don't think I've got the guts to really try it again, with Madison.
I keep running back to you because I think it would be better to mess things up with you than to mess things up with Madison.
You don't really have a choice, I guess.
Yeah, I guess I don't.
But I don't think you'll mess things up with Madison.
I don't think you'll cheat on her or anything.
And you're a good guy.
You've always been a good guy.
Thanks.
Sure.
Bye.
Bye.
I'll see you around the house? Yep.
[knock on door.]
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here? I'm just dropping Robie off.
Your dad's taking him for the weekend.
But it's not the weekend.
It's the middle of the week.
Yeah, I know, but he offered, so do you want to come back with me? It's a school night.
That's the beauty of home school.
You can do it anywhere.
What about Amy? Amy doesn't have that option.
Besides, how often do you and I get to spend time together without Amy or Robby? It'll be fun.
We can stay up late, go to the movies.
You can even come with me to play rummy at Mimsy's assisted care.
That sounds like fun.
Yeah, it is.
So why don't you just throw some stuff in a bag, and let's go.
All right, I will.
[tapping cell phone.]
Toby? I just want to let him know I won't be here.
That's good.
You should let him know.
What's that look? Nothing, not a look.
He's just a friend.
No-- a friend.
Oh, my God, is he more than a friend? No, he is not more than a friend.
Friend is good.
Yeah, it's nice to have someone to talk to.
You can always talk to me, you know.
Yeah, I know.
And I can talk to you about you.
[sighs.]
Just Feel so stupid and ashamed of myself.
Yeah, I think we all do.
Should we call Ricky? Do you want to call Ricky? No.
No, I think I'll wait a few days to talk to him.
Yeah, that might be a good idea.
I'm going to be a better person.
Me, too, but neither of us are bad people.
No, but-- [sighs.]
I've said some bad things, and I've done some bad things.
Everybody has.
Really? You think? I think.
Do you think we'll be good parents? Yeah, I think we'll be good parents.
I think we'll still make mistakes, but we'll be good parents.
Thanks for loving me, Ben.
Pleasure.
Thanks for loving me.
[knock on door.]
I'm coming.
[sighs.]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Come on in.
I'm not going to stay long.
I just wanted to say that face to face.
[chuckles.]
No matter how red my face is.
I'm really sorry.
Yeah, well you and I have never really talked about my past.
I don't really like to talk about it.
I lost my temper.
I don't like to do that either.
It's understandable that you would lose your temper.
And, you know, if you ever wanted to talk about what happened and all of that, you can talk to me.
Or I can talk to my shrink.
I don't want to get our lives entangled in my past, okay? I've worked really hard for years to let that stuff go.
Or I've tried to let that stuff go, and I'm still trying to let that stuff go.
It would be all right if I hugged you? How about I hug you? I'm really sorry.
Me, too, Amy.
Me, too.
I n't believe I'm even going to ask this, but, uh is there going to be a shower? Well this is nice.
We have the whole place to ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, the-- the whole place.
I haven't really seen much of you lately.
Yeah.
Yeah, we've both been really busy, you especially.
How's the condo coming? Oh, it-- it's coming along.
We've got the new window treatments in, and the nursery set up, and, well, most of the furniture is there.
The previous owners left some things, so we just added to that.
So are you ready for the wedding? I mean, in two weeks you're going to be Mrs.
Ben Boykewich.
Yeah, I'm ready.
I'm ready to be Mrs.
Ben Boykewich, but I'm not ready for the wedding.
I haven't picked the photographer or ordered the flowers or any of that, but I do have a dress.
Yeah.
I love your dress.
Yeah.
Hi.
The sign outside said "Closed for a private party.
" I don't think that people understood that the shower was the private party.
Sit down.
Yeah, please.
Hey.
Hey, Adrian.
Hi.
Congratulations on your wedding, and the baby.
Yeah, and thanks for inviting us to the shower.
Thank you for coming.
Bar Mitzvah cancelled.
So glad I got to come.
Mazel tov.
Thank you, Alice.
I'm really happy you're here.
And I'm sorry about the bar mitzvah.
That's okay.
My cousin's not really Jewish.
He just wanted a bar mitzvah because all his friends are Jewish.
See ya.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm Marsha.
We were lab partners last year.
You stayed after class to help me with a homework assignment.
Oh, yeah, Marsha.
Hi.
Uh, I don't like that kind of thing to get out, you know? Oh, yeah.
Got it.
Well, good luck with everything, and thanks for inviting me.
Sure.
This is so grownup.
Then again, I guess getting married and having a baby is, well, pretty grownup.
Uh-huh.
Adrian, you remember Lisa.
You let me sit with you at lunch my first day of school.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Good to see you.
Thank you for coming.
Sure.
Thanks for letting me.
This is Debbie.
Duh, I think Adrian knows who I am.
Hey, Adrian, congratulations.
Long time no see.
Debbie told me the story about how she was in the bathroom crying one day, and you told her to dump her boyfriend.
Yes, and how is your boyfriend, Debbie? He's still dumped.
Oh, well, good.
Yeah.
Well, here you go.
Thank you.
Amy and I have been working really hard.
As it turns out, you do have plenty of friends.
Maybe it was the pity speech in the hallway.
Yeah, that might have had a little something to do with it.
Or maybe you're just not as bad as you think.
Thank you, Grace.
Thanks, Amy.
[chattering.]