What I Like About You (2002) s03e23 Episode Script
My Boyfriend's Back (1)
And we're back with our caller from Tribeca.
You were saying, caller? I was saying, I am starting to think that maybe I'm just not capable of having a relationship.
[ Dr.
Dell .]
: Do you have your radio on? Oh, ha ha ha.
Sorry.
I just wanted to hear myself on the radio.
I sound kinda cute.
Tell me, have you had any serious relationships? Oh, tons.
I just broke up with this British guy Ben.
I mean, Smen.
Because he said that I still likedSmince.
"Smen"? "Smince"? Smen? Smince? [ gasps .]
That's my smister.
You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true What I like That's what I like about you What I like That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about Hey Uh-huh Uh-huh That's what I like about you Holly, Holly -- Oh, my God, give me the phone.
No, no, give me the phone.
No, come on, I have been trying to reach Dr.
Dell for years.
Please, give me the phone! I'm so sorry, one moment, please.
Holly, Holly! Aah! You were saying? [ Dr.
Dell .]
: Caller, what you need to do is think about your past relationships.
One of these guys has the answers.
You need to go to him and listen to what he has to say.
And the sooner, the better.
Oh, my God, Holly's coming.
Holly's coming.
I need -- pants! Thank you so much, Dr.
Dell.
Okay, bye.
Aah! Your turn.
Hi, Doctor.
Okay, here's my situation.
It all started -- [ Dr.
Dell .]
: You have one minute.
Uh, okay, uh I'm 30, single, engaged twice, married none.
Uh, and I just -- I want to get that feeling that you get, you know, when you see a guy, and you get that excited feeling in your stomach.
Your face kinda gets hot, and your heart starts beating just a little faster.
Excuse me, ma'am, I'd like five -- Shh! We're out! Go! [ Dr.
Dell .]
: Have you ever felt that feeling before? - Once.
- And? He just wasn't right for me.
On paper, I kind of picture myself with someone, you know Let me guess -- a Harvard graduate, maybe an attorney, six-figure salary Can you see me? So what does this guy who makes you so hot do for a living? He's my plumber.
Then you need to see this plumber.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
That's not gonna happen.
Wanna bet? Hi.
You're not -- Attracted to you.
So stop with the "come hither" look, dude.
Holly.
Hi, Henry.
I thought I heard something.
Did you hear something? Holly should be here by now.
Oh, God.
What if the subway broke down? What if she never got on the subway? What if she was grabbing some water to go and the refrigerator fell on her? Gary, the refrigerator could fall on her! She'd be trapped underneath! Thanks, man.
Now call her.
Why don't you call her? I don't want to look desperate.
[ cell phone rings .]
[ ring .]
Hey, Gary, what's up? Where you at? Is she trapped? Is she trapped? I'm in Princeton.
I'm visiting Henry.
Oh, uh-huh, okay, bye.
Well, where is she? Well, well, uh, she's not in Princeton visiting Henry.
What? Why would she go there? The radio guy told her to talk it through with her boyfriend, listen to his side.
Well, you know, Henry was her first love.
And he's known her the longest, and, well, you know, he's really, really smart.
You know, dude was an excellent boyfriend.
Oh, God.
Do you think they're getting back together? They can't get back together.
Gary, don't let them - get back together! - Calm down, girl.
That's it.
I'm going to get her.
And just what are you planning to do when you see her? When I see her? When I see her, I'm gonna grab her, and I'm gonna look right into those beautiful eyes, and I'm gonna say, "Quit being so damn stupid! "People spend their whole lives looking for what we have.
"I love you.
You love me.
What the hell are we waiting for?" I think I was wrong, dude.
I am a little attracted to you.
Okay, what's the big emergency? Oh, the pipe broke again.
Oh Oh, god.
I know that butt.
Yeah, I called that butt.
Remember, you were supposed to have a date with that butt.
- Yeah, and I canceled.
- Which was stupid! Look at him! Wow, this is some crack! Your pipe's got a very unusual break.
It's like something struck it with a great deal of force from the outside, you know, not the inside.
What are you, C.
S.
I.
Home Depot? Just fix that pipe.
I think you and I know what happened.
Honestly, I don't.
Yeah, you wanted to see me again, so you gave the pipe a little kick.
Well, yeah, no, please.
What kind of sick person would do something like that? What time should I pick you up? Wait, I had nothing to do with this.
How about 8:00? She is the one who's kicked in the thing.
Fine.
7:30.
You obviously can't wait till 8:00.
No.
I can wait till 8:00.
What the hell are you doing? Getting your plumbing taken care of.
Henry, you look so college-y.
You even grew a soul patch? Yeah, I was going for a beard, but this is all that came in.
Hey, I remember when we first met.
You didn't even have facial hair.
Neither did you.
True.
Uh, excuse me, do you happen to have a pen? Uhyeah.
Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Wow.
I wonder what she'd do for a highlighter.
That's my girlfriend.
Henry Oh, my God.
She's so cute.
How long have you guys been going out? Like six months.
Henry, how come you didn't tell us about her? No one called me.
Sowhat's her name? Her name's Holly, and that's not sick.
I didn't say it was sick.
Her last name's not Tyler, is it? Ha ha ha ha.
No.
But, uh, she's awesome, you know? It's so good to be in a healthy relationship, instead of, you know, what we had.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, none of my relationships have been healthy.
So, uh, just out of curiosity, why did you come all the way here to talk to me about Vince? Wouldn't it be easier just to talk to Vince? I love him.
I can't talk to him.
I don't know.
With you and me, our feelings don't get in the way.
We're basically like brother and sister.
Ohjust what you want to hear from the girl you were in love with.
I have told you this a million times, Todd is not for me, okay? We had one night together.
It was a long time ago, and even then, the only thing we had in common was our naughty bits.
Okay, that's called chemistry.
You guys had chemistry.
Look, I once dated a guy all summer because he had air conditioning.
Now, you of all people should know that chemistry doesn't just come along every day, you know? Why don't you just see if you've got something deeper? And if not, I'll take a crack at him.
So, I guess the best way to put this would be you suck at relationships.
Mm-hmm, go on.
See, Holly, things were great between us when everything was all up and light and fun.
But then we got to the "I was starting to bug you" phase.
Yeah, I remember that.
It was precious.
Don't you see, Holly? That when things get not perfect, you start looking for other guys.
With me, it was Vince.
With Ben, it was Vince.
Do you see a pattern? The pattern is Vince! Wow.
Just sitting in Princeton is making me smart! Don't you see, Holly? Vince is the guy that you keep going back to.
And then I keep running away from him.
Why do I keep running away from him? Why, Princeton, why? Well, if I tell you, it's not going to mean as much as if you figure it out for yourself.
Yeah, but I'm not gonna.
All right.
Um, what do you picture your relationship with Vince being like? I don't know.
Regular just the two of us sitting around, having a cup of coffee.
Like this [ Holly .]
: Maybe at a quaint little cafe a bistro.
With little twinkly lights in Paree.
With romantic music and French people.
Nice ones.
And, of course, we'd both be wearing something amazing.
And Vince would look into my eyes and say he couldn't stand being away from me for five minutes.
I couldn't stand being away from you for five minutes.
If I didn't have to get change, I never would've left.
Everything is so perfect.
I wish it could always be like this.
Je suis trés content, ma cherie.
[ Henry .]
: Vince speaks French? [ Holly .]
: Hey, it's my fantasy.
Did I tell you that they're publishing my novel based on our love? [ Henry .]
: Come on, Vince speaks French, and he wrote a novel? [ Holly .]
: And he has a castle in Ireland.
I am so glad that we finally worked everything out.
And now we're together.
So am I.
I love you, Holly.
Okay, well, I gotta go.
[ Henry .]
: What? Why did you leave? Because everything was so perfect.
It wasn't gonna get any better than that.
How do you know? Because romance can't last forever.
Yeah, you're right.
It can't.
But you know what happens after that? No.
Well, come on.
You're gonna find out.
[ whiny .]
I don't wanna go! Come on, let go, let go! I don't wanna -- Too late.
Now continue.
Hey, Henry.
Hey, dude, thanks for all the calls.
Hey, Vince, what were you saying right before Holly left? Oh, I was saying I love you, Holly.
I gotta go.
No! This time, you are gonna stay.
I don't like it here anymore.
I gotta go.
- Why, Holly? - Yeah, why, Holly? - Because she's scared.
- Scared of what? - I'm not scared.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not - Yes, I am.
What are you afraid of? [ sighs .]
I'm afraid of what happens after things aren't perfect anymore.
Holly nothing's perfect.
I mean, sometimes we're gonna fight.
We're gonna get annoyed with each other.
We may even get bored with each other.
Sometimes, one of us could get really bloated and crampy and yell at me for no reason at all.
But that's life.
It's real.
And real is better than perfect.
Holly, look at him.
This guy loves you.
He's always gonna love you.
Even when I loved you, he loved you.
But I digress.
Henry, you're so smart.
If I didn't date you and break up with you and then date you and break up with you, I would so date you again.
Well, I'm sorry, kid.
I'm not available.
Remember, I got me another Holly.
And she's a lucky girl.
Oh, God.
Henry, you're the best! Oh [ knock on door .]
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, how sweet.
You brought me broccoli.
Great.
I am gonna make you dinner.
I thought I'd show off my culinary skills.
Here, in this place, just the two of us? No buffer of other people? I thought maybe a little chicken scaloppini with some sautéed broccoli, and to top it off, I have a '95 Burgundy.
Wow, that ain't your Boone's farm.
Okay, uh, just so we're clear, even though we're having this very intimate dinner here in my house, just the two of us, this is just a "get to know you" dinner.
Cool.
Okay, talking, eating, feet on floor.
Cutting board? Over there, top drawer.
Uh, yeah, so what happened in high school -- That was just a one-time thing, really.
It was just one desperate, confused night.
Yeah.
Garlic? Uh, pink bowl.
So, uh, just to reiterate -- ha ha -- Um, this is just a "get to know you" dinner, all right? And if it goes well, then maybe somewhere down the road, I will feel comfortable enough to explore my physical boundaries with you.
Which one of these knobs gets your oven hot? I beh -- I beh -- I beg your pardon? Oh, yeah, the one on the right here.
It's just been a while since I used it.
Okay, okay, you tell me this didn't mean something.
I'm Holly, you're Henry.
Now, come here.
Wait, okay, that's it? That's what you consider a romantic hug? Dude, they could've just been saying goodbye or saying hello or saying "It's good to see you.
" What the hell is wrong with you? I don't know.
I've never felt this way about a girl before.
Then just don't stand around and guess what's happening.
Go to Henry, find out what's really going on, and if they're not together, then do what you set out to do.
Be a man! Take that woman in your arms, and you tell her, "I love you.
" Beat it.
This bitch is mine.
Mmm Mmm This is the best tiramisu I ever had.
I love a woman who's not ashamed to eat like a pig.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't usually do that on a first date.
Yeah, well, tonight was a little unusual for both of us.
I mean, I can never remember being on a date and making so much what's the word? Conversation.
Yes, it was amazing.
Yeahso tell me, How does it feel, knowing that, um, you're the first girl that I didn't have sex with on the first date? Oh, what a feather in my cap.
Well, I'm gonna thank you for making my first time incredible.
Look, II hate to leave but I got an early job in the morning.
No! Uh, I mean, well, look at that.
It's only, uh midnight.
Wow.
Come on, walk me to the door.
Okay.
Um, you know all that stuff I was saying before about taking it slow and getting to know each other somewhere down the road, blah, blah, blah? Well, um, I feel like we really got to know each other pretty good.
Yeah, but, you know, I feel that there's so much more to get to know about you.
Oh, no, mnh-mnh.
You'd be surprised how little there is to know about ol' Val.
I can't wait to find out more.
When? Uh You do uh, when we do, it will be incredible.
Well you can count on that.
Uh good night, Val.
Good night, Todd.
I'll call you.
When? You do uh leave a message at the beep, and I will call you back.
[ sighs .]
[ boy and girl laughing .]
[ Henry .]
: I'm so glad you're here.
I love you, Holly.
You were saying, caller? I was saying, I am starting to think that maybe I'm just not capable of having a relationship.
[ Dr.
Dell .]
: Do you have your radio on? Oh, ha ha ha.
Sorry.
I just wanted to hear myself on the radio.
I sound kinda cute.
Tell me, have you had any serious relationships? Oh, tons.
I just broke up with this British guy Ben.
I mean, Smen.
Because he said that I still likedSmince.
"Smen"? "Smince"? Smen? Smince? [ gasps .]
That's my smister.
You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true What I like That's what I like about you What I like That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about Hey Uh-huh Uh-huh That's what I like about you Holly, Holly -- Oh, my God, give me the phone.
No, no, give me the phone.
No, come on, I have been trying to reach Dr.
Dell for years.
Please, give me the phone! I'm so sorry, one moment, please.
Holly, Holly! Aah! You were saying? [ Dr.
Dell .]
: Caller, what you need to do is think about your past relationships.
One of these guys has the answers.
You need to go to him and listen to what he has to say.
And the sooner, the better.
Oh, my God, Holly's coming.
Holly's coming.
I need -- pants! Thank you so much, Dr.
Dell.
Okay, bye.
Aah! Your turn.
Hi, Doctor.
Okay, here's my situation.
It all started -- [ Dr.
Dell .]
: You have one minute.
Uh, okay, uh I'm 30, single, engaged twice, married none.
Uh, and I just -- I want to get that feeling that you get, you know, when you see a guy, and you get that excited feeling in your stomach.
Your face kinda gets hot, and your heart starts beating just a little faster.
Excuse me, ma'am, I'd like five -- Shh! We're out! Go! [ Dr.
Dell .]
: Have you ever felt that feeling before? - Once.
- And? He just wasn't right for me.
On paper, I kind of picture myself with someone, you know Let me guess -- a Harvard graduate, maybe an attorney, six-figure salary Can you see me? So what does this guy who makes you so hot do for a living? He's my plumber.
Then you need to see this plumber.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
That's not gonna happen.
Wanna bet? Hi.
You're not -- Attracted to you.
So stop with the "come hither" look, dude.
Holly.
Hi, Henry.
I thought I heard something.
Did you hear something? Holly should be here by now.
Oh, God.
What if the subway broke down? What if she never got on the subway? What if she was grabbing some water to go and the refrigerator fell on her? Gary, the refrigerator could fall on her! She'd be trapped underneath! Thanks, man.
Now call her.
Why don't you call her? I don't want to look desperate.
[ cell phone rings .]
[ ring .]
Hey, Gary, what's up? Where you at? Is she trapped? Is she trapped? I'm in Princeton.
I'm visiting Henry.
Oh, uh-huh, okay, bye.
Well, where is she? Well, well, uh, she's not in Princeton visiting Henry.
What? Why would she go there? The radio guy told her to talk it through with her boyfriend, listen to his side.
Well, you know, Henry was her first love.
And he's known her the longest, and, well, you know, he's really, really smart.
You know, dude was an excellent boyfriend.
Oh, God.
Do you think they're getting back together? They can't get back together.
Gary, don't let them - get back together! - Calm down, girl.
That's it.
I'm going to get her.
And just what are you planning to do when you see her? When I see her? When I see her, I'm gonna grab her, and I'm gonna look right into those beautiful eyes, and I'm gonna say, "Quit being so damn stupid! "People spend their whole lives looking for what we have.
"I love you.
You love me.
What the hell are we waiting for?" I think I was wrong, dude.
I am a little attracted to you.
Okay, what's the big emergency? Oh, the pipe broke again.
Oh Oh, god.
I know that butt.
Yeah, I called that butt.
Remember, you were supposed to have a date with that butt.
- Yeah, and I canceled.
- Which was stupid! Look at him! Wow, this is some crack! Your pipe's got a very unusual break.
It's like something struck it with a great deal of force from the outside, you know, not the inside.
What are you, C.
S.
I.
Home Depot? Just fix that pipe.
I think you and I know what happened.
Honestly, I don't.
Yeah, you wanted to see me again, so you gave the pipe a little kick.
Well, yeah, no, please.
What kind of sick person would do something like that? What time should I pick you up? Wait, I had nothing to do with this.
How about 8:00? She is the one who's kicked in the thing.
Fine.
7:30.
You obviously can't wait till 8:00.
No.
I can wait till 8:00.
What the hell are you doing? Getting your plumbing taken care of.
Henry, you look so college-y.
You even grew a soul patch? Yeah, I was going for a beard, but this is all that came in.
Hey, I remember when we first met.
You didn't even have facial hair.
Neither did you.
True.
Uh, excuse me, do you happen to have a pen? Uhyeah.
Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Wow.
I wonder what she'd do for a highlighter.
That's my girlfriend.
Henry Oh, my God.
She's so cute.
How long have you guys been going out? Like six months.
Henry, how come you didn't tell us about her? No one called me.
Sowhat's her name? Her name's Holly, and that's not sick.
I didn't say it was sick.
Her last name's not Tyler, is it? Ha ha ha ha.
No.
But, uh, she's awesome, you know? It's so good to be in a healthy relationship, instead of, you know, what we had.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, none of my relationships have been healthy.
So, uh, just out of curiosity, why did you come all the way here to talk to me about Vince? Wouldn't it be easier just to talk to Vince? I love him.
I can't talk to him.
I don't know.
With you and me, our feelings don't get in the way.
We're basically like brother and sister.
Ohjust what you want to hear from the girl you were in love with.
I have told you this a million times, Todd is not for me, okay? We had one night together.
It was a long time ago, and even then, the only thing we had in common was our naughty bits.
Okay, that's called chemistry.
You guys had chemistry.
Look, I once dated a guy all summer because he had air conditioning.
Now, you of all people should know that chemistry doesn't just come along every day, you know? Why don't you just see if you've got something deeper? And if not, I'll take a crack at him.
So, I guess the best way to put this would be you suck at relationships.
Mm-hmm, go on.
See, Holly, things were great between us when everything was all up and light and fun.
But then we got to the "I was starting to bug you" phase.
Yeah, I remember that.
It was precious.
Don't you see, Holly? That when things get not perfect, you start looking for other guys.
With me, it was Vince.
With Ben, it was Vince.
Do you see a pattern? The pattern is Vince! Wow.
Just sitting in Princeton is making me smart! Don't you see, Holly? Vince is the guy that you keep going back to.
And then I keep running away from him.
Why do I keep running away from him? Why, Princeton, why? Well, if I tell you, it's not going to mean as much as if you figure it out for yourself.
Yeah, but I'm not gonna.
All right.
Um, what do you picture your relationship with Vince being like? I don't know.
Regular just the two of us sitting around, having a cup of coffee.
Like this [ Holly .]
: Maybe at a quaint little cafe a bistro.
With little twinkly lights in Paree.
With romantic music and French people.
Nice ones.
And, of course, we'd both be wearing something amazing.
And Vince would look into my eyes and say he couldn't stand being away from me for five minutes.
I couldn't stand being away from you for five minutes.
If I didn't have to get change, I never would've left.
Everything is so perfect.
I wish it could always be like this.
Je suis trés content, ma cherie.
[ Henry .]
: Vince speaks French? [ Holly .]
: Hey, it's my fantasy.
Did I tell you that they're publishing my novel based on our love? [ Henry .]
: Come on, Vince speaks French, and he wrote a novel? [ Holly .]
: And he has a castle in Ireland.
I am so glad that we finally worked everything out.
And now we're together.
So am I.
I love you, Holly.
Okay, well, I gotta go.
[ Henry .]
: What? Why did you leave? Because everything was so perfect.
It wasn't gonna get any better than that.
How do you know? Because romance can't last forever.
Yeah, you're right.
It can't.
But you know what happens after that? No.
Well, come on.
You're gonna find out.
[ whiny .]
I don't wanna go! Come on, let go, let go! I don't wanna -- Too late.
Now continue.
Hey, Henry.
Hey, dude, thanks for all the calls.
Hey, Vince, what were you saying right before Holly left? Oh, I was saying I love you, Holly.
I gotta go.
No! This time, you are gonna stay.
I don't like it here anymore.
I gotta go.
- Why, Holly? - Yeah, why, Holly? - Because she's scared.
- Scared of what? - I'm not scared.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not - Yes, I am.
What are you afraid of? [ sighs .]
I'm afraid of what happens after things aren't perfect anymore.
Holly nothing's perfect.
I mean, sometimes we're gonna fight.
We're gonna get annoyed with each other.
We may even get bored with each other.
Sometimes, one of us could get really bloated and crampy and yell at me for no reason at all.
But that's life.
It's real.
And real is better than perfect.
Holly, look at him.
This guy loves you.
He's always gonna love you.
Even when I loved you, he loved you.
But I digress.
Henry, you're so smart.
If I didn't date you and break up with you and then date you and break up with you, I would so date you again.
Well, I'm sorry, kid.
I'm not available.
Remember, I got me another Holly.
And she's a lucky girl.
Oh, God.
Henry, you're the best! Oh [ knock on door .]
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, how sweet.
You brought me broccoli.
Great.
I am gonna make you dinner.
I thought I'd show off my culinary skills.
Here, in this place, just the two of us? No buffer of other people? I thought maybe a little chicken scaloppini with some sautéed broccoli, and to top it off, I have a '95 Burgundy.
Wow, that ain't your Boone's farm.
Okay, uh, just so we're clear, even though we're having this very intimate dinner here in my house, just the two of us, this is just a "get to know you" dinner.
Cool.
Okay, talking, eating, feet on floor.
Cutting board? Over there, top drawer.
Uh, yeah, so what happened in high school -- That was just a one-time thing, really.
It was just one desperate, confused night.
Yeah.
Garlic? Uh, pink bowl.
So, uh, just to reiterate -- ha ha -- Um, this is just a "get to know you" dinner, all right? And if it goes well, then maybe somewhere down the road, I will feel comfortable enough to explore my physical boundaries with you.
Which one of these knobs gets your oven hot? I beh -- I beh -- I beg your pardon? Oh, yeah, the one on the right here.
It's just been a while since I used it.
Okay, okay, you tell me this didn't mean something.
I'm Holly, you're Henry.
Now, come here.
Wait, okay, that's it? That's what you consider a romantic hug? Dude, they could've just been saying goodbye or saying hello or saying "It's good to see you.
" What the hell is wrong with you? I don't know.
I've never felt this way about a girl before.
Then just don't stand around and guess what's happening.
Go to Henry, find out what's really going on, and if they're not together, then do what you set out to do.
Be a man! Take that woman in your arms, and you tell her, "I love you.
" Beat it.
This bitch is mine.
Mmm Mmm This is the best tiramisu I ever had.
I love a woman who's not ashamed to eat like a pig.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't usually do that on a first date.
Yeah, well, tonight was a little unusual for both of us.
I mean, I can never remember being on a date and making so much what's the word? Conversation.
Yes, it was amazing.
Yeahso tell me, How does it feel, knowing that, um, you're the first girl that I didn't have sex with on the first date? Oh, what a feather in my cap.
Well, I'm gonna thank you for making my first time incredible.
Look, II hate to leave but I got an early job in the morning.
No! Uh, I mean, well, look at that.
It's only, uh midnight.
Wow.
Come on, walk me to the door.
Okay.
Um, you know all that stuff I was saying before about taking it slow and getting to know each other somewhere down the road, blah, blah, blah? Well, um, I feel like we really got to know each other pretty good.
Yeah, but, you know, I feel that there's so much more to get to know about you.
Oh, no, mnh-mnh.
You'd be surprised how little there is to know about ol' Val.
I can't wait to find out more.
When? Uh You do uh, when we do, it will be incredible.
Well you can count on that.
Uh good night, Val.
Good night, Todd.
I'll call you.
When? You do uh leave a message at the beep, and I will call you back.
[ sighs .]
[ boy and girl laughing .]
[ Henry .]
: I'm so glad you're here.
I love you, Holly.