Clarence US (2014) s03e24 Episode Script
Dare Day
1 [Remote clicks.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Hard rock music.]
[Both laugh.]
- Yeah, it was fun, but - Huh? I got so full of soup.
Clarence! I dare you to throw this - right there! - Okay.
[Grunts.]
- Nice! - Dare you to do this.
[Grunts, giggles.]
[Laughs.]
[Grunts.]
- Okay, did I do it? - Oh, my gosh, Sumo! [Both laugh.]
What? Is it right? Am I doing it right? - Jeff's turn! - Oh, truth! - No! No truth just dare.
- Yeah! A dare or dare.
- That's not a game, Clarence.
- Yes, it is.
You need to give me more options.
- What if I don't want to do the dare? - Well, then you're a chicken.
- And then what? - That's it.
- Nothing worse than being a chicken.
- But 121, 122, 123 [Imitating robots.]
One Dang it! One, two, three Oh, shucks! They forgot my ding-dang ketchup! - Ugh! Yeesh, Jeff.
- W-Watch my luggage.
[Grunts.]
So, Sumo, are you gonna watch his luggage? Yeah, I'm watchin'.
I'm watchin'.
[Grunts.]
- Dare you to eat it.
- Mm, okay.
[Giggling.]
Oh, my gosh! [Groans.]
I like it.
[Giggling.]
It's pretty savory.
Now I dare you to do this.
Mmm! Soggy! [Giggles, grunts.]
[Gulping.]
- [Muffled.]
Hi, Jeff.
- Oh, no.
You're not playing that terrible game still, are you? Agh! [Both giggling.]
Yeah, we are.
Perfect ketchup [Sighs.]
Now I dare you to use all of Jeff's ketchup! - What?! No! - Uh-oh, Jeff! You brought enough ketchup! - No, Clarence! - Watch out for the nugget! No, stop! They were perfect! Oh, man! Dip, dip, dip, dip! [Laughs.]
Sorry, Jeff.
Sumo dared me to.
- Yeah, I did! - I will go and get more.
[Murmuring.]
[Groans.]
- Think he's mad? - Nah! Dare you to to make Jeff smile! What? That's not a dare.
- Yes, it is! - I'm not doing that.
Then you're chicken! Chick, chick, chick, peep, peep, peep! - I'm not chicken! - It's okay, Sumo.
I love chickens.
This one time, I Huh? [Chuckles.]
- Hey, Jeff.
- Oh, no.
Go away.
I'm not playing your dare game.
[Whispering.]
Sumo, do it.
- Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle! - What are you doing?! Oh, my tray! - Ohh! - Ohhh! My tray.
Did you see that?! If I hadn't been there, we would've gotten arrested! - Whoa! Cool! - What What were you even thinking? I was thinking Both: Toy time! [Grunting.]
[Music.]
[Grunting, growling.]
Give it.
I'm really amazed you guys even survive when I'm not around.
- What do you say? - Thank you.
You did it! You made Jeff smile! Sumo, dare you to do this.
[Slurping.]
Oh! Ohhh! The next time you decide to do something anything ask yourself, "Would Jeff do this?" Hmm.
Would Jeff do this?! [Grunts.]
Words to live by.
[Watch beeping.]
Well, time for my family trip to Madrid.
Bon voy-erderci! [Latin music plays.]
'Kay! Bye, Jeff! So dare you to do this.
Bonk! [Grunts.]
- Bonk! - Fwap! Bonk! [Both laugh.]
I dare you to - drink soda! - Easy! Straight from the machine - for five minutes.
- Okay.
Oh, wait.
Would Jeff do this? Why wouldn't he? [Gulping.]
Come on, come on! What is wrong with you kids?! Sumo: Five, four, three [Both grunt.]
Doyng, doyng, doyng, doyng, doyng! [Laughing.]
Dare you to put your hand in this gutter.
Ew.
Dare you to hang like this! Aah! Dare you to lick your elbow.
[Both laughing.]
[Soft music plays.]
[Tone rings.]
Sumo: Good morning, shoppers! We got a big sale on uh butt covers in aisle number butt! [Both laugh.]
- Over there! Hey! - They're coming for us! [Both laughing.]
Dare you to lick that dirty pole.
Hee hee! Okay.
[Laughing.]
Oh, yes! [Giggles.]
I dare you to [Screams.]
[Laughing.]
Agh! [Both laugh.]
I dare you to Yeah! Yeah! Whoa! [Grunts.]
I dare you to [Ringing.]
It's ringing.
[Telephone rings.]
Huh? - [Giggles.]
Say it.
Say it.
- Hello? Hi.
This is Sumo.
- I love you.
- Oh.
Why, uh thanks.
[Voice breaking.]
I really needed to hear that today.
[Sniffling.]
Next dare! [Mariachi music plays.]
I dare you to [Laughs.]
I dare you to [Panting.]
I dare you to [Laughing.]
I dare you to [Gulping.]
[Gulping.]
[Gulping.]
[Stomach rumbles.]
[Coughing.]
Um, I dare you to [Off-key music plays.]
[Grunting.]
[Screams.]
Ugh! Wha wha Clarence?! What the heck was that?! Get! [Grunts.]
Clarence, are you okay? Next dare, please.
[Latin music plays.]
[Camera shutter clicks.]
[Shutter clicks.]
[Bull lows.]
I wonder what Sumo and Clarence are doing.
Hey, man, do you need a break? [Latin music plays.]
- No.
- Um, yeah, um Ugh.
[Woman screaming.]
Maybe we can pick it up tomorrow? Hey, guys.
So, you doing some dares? I have one for you.
I dare you to swing from the treehouse into the kiddie pool that's full of mud juggling these eggs, and you got to wear this.
[Giggles.]
Ooh! So you gonna be a man or a chicken? - Mm can I be both? - No.
- Hmm.
Okay a man.
- Good.
[Amplified.]
This way, please! Gather 'round! Don't be shy! Presenting Clarencio the Dare Master! Oh, whoops! [All gasp.]
Wait, Clarence! Are you sure you want to do this? - Yeah! I'm no chicken! - Yeah but what did Jeff say - about when we're doing something? - Um I don't remember.
- You could call him.
- All right.
Be right back! [Soft music plays.]
[Telephone rings.]
Come on, Jeff.
Pick up, pick up.
[Flamenco music plays.]
Ooh! Paella! Yes, please! Jeff: You've reached the Randall residence.
We're not in right now, so if you can please leave a message - after the tone - Clarence: And also, if, um, if Clarence Clarence, I'm kind of in the middle of this right now.
Okay, but if the message is for me, though - Clarence, wait.
- tell them [Grunting.]
What's taking so long?! Just making some last-minute adjustments! Any second now! [Soft music plays.]
[Clucking.]
Yeah, you're right.
They're just chickens.
- And turkeys and pigeons and - Okay, um j-just one more second, I think.
Oh! There's Sumo! - What'd he say?! - He didn't pick up.
- Yeah.
He's on vacation.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey! I dare you to stop talking and just do it already! Okay, ready! All: Yeah! ask yourself, "Would Jeff do this?" I don't think so.
Clarence, wait! Would Jeff do this? - Yeah, I think so.
- Okay, good.
Ready?! [All cheering.]
Yeah! [Screams.]
Huh?! [Siren wails.]
[Monitor beeping.]
Oh, Clarence, I'm so sorry.
Clarence? No, he's over here.
Clarence: Hey, Sumo! Clarence! Clarence, I'm so sorry.
[Chuckles.]
Hey, Sumo, I dare you to um, I dare you to - No more dares.
- Oh.
Well, I dare you to swing from this thing and then you do a double jump off the bed and then turn on the TV and then do another trick.
Clarence, this went too far.
No more dares.
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk! Okay, but that means that you're a chicken, Sumo! Chi, chi, chi, chi, chi, chi! Paw, paw, paw, paw! Well, I guess I'm a chicken, then.
Well I like chickens.
Well, I'll do it! I'm not a chicken! [Laughs.]
Aah! Oh! [Clatter, crash.]
Hey Sumo, want to draw on my cast? Ow.
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Hard rock music.]
[Both laugh.]
- Yeah, it was fun, but - Huh? I got so full of soup.
Clarence! I dare you to throw this - right there! - Okay.
[Grunts.]
- Nice! - Dare you to do this.
[Grunts, giggles.]
[Laughs.]
[Grunts.]
- Okay, did I do it? - Oh, my gosh, Sumo! [Both laugh.]
What? Is it right? Am I doing it right? - Jeff's turn! - Oh, truth! - No! No truth just dare.
- Yeah! A dare or dare.
- That's not a game, Clarence.
- Yes, it is.
You need to give me more options.
- What if I don't want to do the dare? - Well, then you're a chicken.
- And then what? - That's it.
- Nothing worse than being a chicken.
- But 121, 122, 123 [Imitating robots.]
One Dang it! One, two, three Oh, shucks! They forgot my ding-dang ketchup! - Ugh! Yeesh, Jeff.
- W-Watch my luggage.
[Grunts.]
So, Sumo, are you gonna watch his luggage? Yeah, I'm watchin'.
I'm watchin'.
[Grunts.]
- Dare you to eat it.
- Mm, okay.
[Giggling.]
Oh, my gosh! [Groans.]
I like it.
[Giggling.]
It's pretty savory.
Now I dare you to do this.
Mmm! Soggy! [Giggles, grunts.]
[Gulping.]
- [Muffled.]
Hi, Jeff.
- Oh, no.
You're not playing that terrible game still, are you? Agh! [Both giggling.]
Yeah, we are.
Perfect ketchup [Sighs.]
Now I dare you to use all of Jeff's ketchup! - What?! No! - Uh-oh, Jeff! You brought enough ketchup! - No, Clarence! - Watch out for the nugget! No, stop! They were perfect! Oh, man! Dip, dip, dip, dip! [Laughs.]
Sorry, Jeff.
Sumo dared me to.
- Yeah, I did! - I will go and get more.
[Murmuring.]
[Groans.]
- Think he's mad? - Nah! Dare you to to make Jeff smile! What? That's not a dare.
- Yes, it is! - I'm not doing that.
Then you're chicken! Chick, chick, chick, peep, peep, peep! - I'm not chicken! - It's okay, Sumo.
I love chickens.
This one time, I Huh? [Chuckles.]
- Hey, Jeff.
- Oh, no.
Go away.
I'm not playing your dare game.
[Whispering.]
Sumo, do it.
- Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle! - What are you doing?! Oh, my tray! - Ohh! - Ohhh! My tray.
Did you see that?! If I hadn't been there, we would've gotten arrested! - Whoa! Cool! - What What were you even thinking? I was thinking Both: Toy time! [Grunting.]
[Music.]
[Grunting, growling.]
Give it.
I'm really amazed you guys even survive when I'm not around.
- What do you say? - Thank you.
You did it! You made Jeff smile! Sumo, dare you to do this.
[Slurping.]
Oh! Ohhh! The next time you decide to do something anything ask yourself, "Would Jeff do this?" Hmm.
Would Jeff do this?! [Grunts.]
Words to live by.
[Watch beeping.]
Well, time for my family trip to Madrid.
Bon voy-erderci! [Latin music plays.]
'Kay! Bye, Jeff! So dare you to do this.
Bonk! [Grunts.]
- Bonk! - Fwap! Bonk! [Both laugh.]
I dare you to - drink soda! - Easy! Straight from the machine - for five minutes.
- Okay.
Oh, wait.
Would Jeff do this? Why wouldn't he? [Gulping.]
Come on, come on! What is wrong with you kids?! Sumo: Five, four, three [Both grunt.]
Doyng, doyng, doyng, doyng, doyng! [Laughing.]
Dare you to put your hand in this gutter.
Ew.
Dare you to hang like this! Aah! Dare you to lick your elbow.
[Both laughing.]
[Soft music plays.]
[Tone rings.]
Sumo: Good morning, shoppers! We got a big sale on uh butt covers in aisle number butt! [Both laugh.]
- Over there! Hey! - They're coming for us! [Both laughing.]
Dare you to lick that dirty pole.
Hee hee! Okay.
[Laughing.]
Oh, yes! [Giggles.]
I dare you to [Screams.]
[Laughing.]
Agh! [Both laugh.]
I dare you to Yeah! Yeah! Whoa! [Grunts.]
I dare you to [Ringing.]
It's ringing.
[Telephone rings.]
Huh? - [Giggles.]
Say it.
Say it.
- Hello? Hi.
This is Sumo.
- I love you.
- Oh.
Why, uh thanks.
[Voice breaking.]
I really needed to hear that today.
[Sniffling.]
Next dare! [Mariachi music plays.]
I dare you to [Laughs.]
I dare you to [Panting.]
I dare you to [Laughing.]
I dare you to [Gulping.]
[Gulping.]
[Gulping.]
[Stomach rumbles.]
[Coughing.]
Um, I dare you to [Off-key music plays.]
[Grunting.]
[Screams.]
Ugh! Wha wha Clarence?! What the heck was that?! Get! [Grunts.]
Clarence, are you okay? Next dare, please.
[Latin music plays.]
[Camera shutter clicks.]
[Shutter clicks.]
[Bull lows.]
I wonder what Sumo and Clarence are doing.
Hey, man, do you need a break? [Latin music plays.]
- No.
- Um, yeah, um Ugh.
[Woman screaming.]
Maybe we can pick it up tomorrow? Hey, guys.
So, you doing some dares? I have one for you.
I dare you to swing from the treehouse into the kiddie pool that's full of mud juggling these eggs, and you got to wear this.
[Giggles.]
Ooh! So you gonna be a man or a chicken? - Mm can I be both? - No.
- Hmm.
Okay a man.
- Good.
[Amplified.]
This way, please! Gather 'round! Don't be shy! Presenting Clarencio the Dare Master! Oh, whoops! [All gasp.]
Wait, Clarence! Are you sure you want to do this? - Yeah! I'm no chicken! - Yeah but what did Jeff say - about when we're doing something? - Um I don't remember.
- You could call him.
- All right.
Be right back! [Soft music plays.]
[Telephone rings.]
Come on, Jeff.
Pick up, pick up.
[Flamenco music plays.]
Ooh! Paella! Yes, please! Jeff: You've reached the Randall residence.
We're not in right now, so if you can please leave a message - after the tone - Clarence: And also, if, um, if Clarence Clarence, I'm kind of in the middle of this right now.
Okay, but if the message is for me, though - Clarence, wait.
- tell them [Grunting.]
What's taking so long?! Just making some last-minute adjustments! Any second now! [Soft music plays.]
[Clucking.]
Yeah, you're right.
They're just chickens.
- And turkeys and pigeons and - Okay, um j-just one more second, I think.
Oh! There's Sumo! - What'd he say?! - He didn't pick up.
- Yeah.
He's on vacation.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey! I dare you to stop talking and just do it already! Okay, ready! All: Yeah! ask yourself, "Would Jeff do this?" I don't think so.
Clarence, wait! Would Jeff do this? - Yeah, I think so.
- Okay, good.
Ready?! [All cheering.]
Yeah! [Screams.]
Huh?! [Siren wails.]
[Monitor beeping.]
Oh, Clarence, I'm so sorry.
Clarence? No, he's over here.
Clarence: Hey, Sumo! Clarence! Clarence, I'm so sorry.
[Chuckles.]
Hey, Sumo, I dare you to um, I dare you to - No more dares.
- Oh.
Well, I dare you to swing from this thing and then you do a double jump off the bed and then turn on the TV and then do another trick.
Clarence, this went too far.
No more dares.
Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk! Okay, but that means that you're a chicken, Sumo! Chi, chi, chi, chi, chi, chi! Paw, paw, paw, paw! Well, I guess I'm a chicken, then.
Well I like chickens.
Well, I'll do it! I'm not a chicken! [Laughs.]
Aah! Oh! [Clatter, crash.]
Hey Sumo, want to draw on my cast? Ow.
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose