Family Ties (1982) s03e24 Episode Script
069 - Remembrances of Things Past (2)
Last week onFamily Ties: I still can't get used to it, you know.
I don't have a dad anymore.
Don't worry, Ma.
I'm here.
Elyse is here.
We're gonna help ya.
A lot of ghosts here, Elyse.
Being here just brought it all back.
My dad, the problems, the fights.
Dad always liked you, Rob.
Are you kidding? Me and Dad: "Woosh.
" You and Dad: "Woosh.
" It's so odd being in this house.
I mean, I know I'm married, I'm 40 years old, I got four kids.
But lying in this bed, in this room, I'm telling you, I'm 10 years old.
A lot of ghosts here, Elyse.
A lot of ghosts.
## I'll bet We've been together ## ## For a million years ## ## And I'll bet We'll be together ## ## For a million more ## ## Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ## ## On the night we kissed ## ## And I can't remember What I ever did before ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## And there ain't No nothin' ## ## We can't love Each other through ## ## Ooh-hoo ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## Sha-la-la-la ## Well, it took an hour of singing and rocking, but I finally got Andrew to sleep.
Let him cry, Elyse.
You don't wanna spoil him.
Well, he's in a new place.
I think he's a little nervous.
We didn't believe in over-coddling our children.
Heh.
Well, that's funny because Mom said that you spoiled Dad so much that by the time she got him, he was I'll go check on Andrew.
Anyway, uh, you want me to put these boxes in the hallway? I don't think I spoiled Steven.
I- I don't think I actually used the word "spoiled," May.
Uh, anyway, it was mostly in the area of food.
What kind of food? I- It was nothing.
You know, we can organize these boxes by size How did I spoil him with food? Okay, come on, break it up, you two.
Break it up.
Look, it's all right for Grandma to spoil one of her children.
Mom spoiled me.
It's only natural.
I'm her I'm her favorite.
That's not true, Alex.
Don't Don't try to hide it, Mom.
It's It's only natural.
I mean, uh, Darwin.
Survival of the cutest.
Who's this Darwin guy, a friend of yours? I don't have any favorites, Alex.
That's okay, Mom.
That's all right.
You don't wanna talk in front of the M-A-L.
That's okay.
This guy, number one.
Well, we have an offer.
You have an offer on the house? Yeah, have it here, Ma.
Looks real good.
I don't know how good it looks.
Take it easy, Steve.
Well, did you get the price you asked for? Very close.
Well, what's the problem, then? Well, I'm thinking maybe we can get more.
Oh, come on, Robert.
We've been through this.
That's a fair price.
I'm not so sure it's a fair price.
I happen to have some expertise in the real estate area, don't forget.
What expertise? Maureen.
My wife.
Her father was a realtor.
So, what does that make you, a realtor-in-law? Go ahead, make fun.
But if Dad were here, he would agree with me.
He would say, "Let's get our price.
" He would, and you know it.
And he'd be wrong.
Sure.
Well, Dad was always wrong.
I was always wrong.
Everyone was always wrong, Steve, except you.
You're wrong, Rob.
That's not what I said.
Now, boys, stop it.
What is wrong with holding out for a few more dollars? I mean, why is getting more money a sin? It's just not the right time, that's all.
This is not an easy time for Ma.
The faster we get it over with, the better.
It's worth a few dollars to save her that aggravation.
All I know is Dad sweated for 40 years to pay off this house.
I am not letting it go without fighting for every penny.
Robert.
Look, Rob, this isn't gonna be one of your special deals, you hear me? What's wrong with you? Can't you see you're upsetting Ma? Mom's all right.
You're the problem.
You haven't changed, Steven.
Mr.
Emotional.
Mom's upset, so let's get her out of here today.
This minute.
Yeah, sure.
Never mind we're getting taken in the deal.
Why don't we just give the house away? Hey! Who wants a free house? What I said makes sense.
This is a painful time for Ma.
Let's get it over with.
She belongs at the Oaks.
All her friends are there.
Let's get her there.
She'll get there.
There's no big rush.
It's simple math, something you were never too terrific at.
If we keep the house on the market, we get a lot more.
What does "more" mean? She doesn't need more, she needs out.
You're wrong.
If we take this price, Mom goes to the Oaks, we're going to run out of money that much sooner.
Then how are we going to support her? We'll worry about that when the time comes.
Oh, heh, they don't make 'em like you anymore, Steve.
All heart, no brains.
Boy, Dad needed to watch you.
Now I've gotta look out for you.
I mean, you're still the same kid who gave away a brand-new bike to the orphanage.
What was wrong with that? It was my bike.
You never rode it.
I never got a chance.
I turned around, Sister Mary Francis was pedaling it away.
Why are you bringing this up now, Rob? That was 30 years ago.
It'll be 32 years in May.
The point is you don't think like a normal person.
I mean, you never did.
You don't think like Dad, you don't think like me.
You think like you.
Yeah, and that's very dangerous in the real world, Steve.
You can't talk to me this way, Rob.
Not anymore.
I've come here to make sure Mom gets the very best.
I don't want her hurt now.
Who the hell are you, coming here telling me what's best for Mom? I'm here every day.
I do her shopping.
When she gets sick, she calls me up.
When she has troubles in the middle of the night, I'm the one who comes over.
Where are you, Steve? Where are you when your mother needs you? I'm asking you.
Where the hell are you? Because you're sure as hell not here.
Steven, get out here this minute.
What's with him? We're late already.
What's this? Why aren't you dressed? I'm not going.
What do you mean, you're not going? I'm not going.
I'm staying home.
What's the matter, Steven? Why don't you wanna come? I just don't want to.
That's all.
Grandma knows.
It's okay with her.
But it's not okay with me.
When I say the family goes, the family goes.
Now, you get upstairs and get dressed this minute.
No.
You say no to your father? Yes.
I mean, no.
Both.
Maybe Dad needs to talk to Steven alone.
Come on, Robbie.
I can't believe you.
You're gonna get killed.
I love Grandma.
I wish we could go there twice a week.
All right.
I'm gonna say this quietly and only once.
You are gonna go up the stairs, you're gonna get dressed, you're gonna get out in the car, and you're gonna go to Grandma's like a normal human being.
Dad, I go to school five days a week.
I work every day after school and Saturday.
So? So does every kid in America.
So it's Sunday.
It's my day off.
I should be able to do what I want to on my day off.
You know what my father would do if I talked to him like that? He'd take out the strap? Yeah.
I'm not afraid.
You're not afraid? Actually, I'm petrified, but I decided that I was gonna make a stand today.
This is your stand? Yeah.
I should be able to visit Grandma when I want to, not when everybody else does.
By the way, I'm going over there tomorrow.
Who are you? Are you from this planet or what? Dad.
It's me, Steven.
This figures to be a pretty one-sided conversation, Dad, but there are some things I have to say to you.
I can just hear you saying: "Why do you have to bother me when I'm lying down?" I wanna tell you I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm sorry for making it so hard for you.
There's so much I wanna take back, make right.
God.
It all went by so fast.
I wish I could do it all over again, but Then again, I don't think I could stand it.
I just couldn't take Geometry again, Dad.
Three times should be enough for anybody, you gotta understand.
I'm a father of four kids now.
Two sons, just like you had.
I hear you in me, Dad.
I hear you when I tell Alex not to dribble the ball in the house, or tell Mallory not to come home too late, or Jennifer to finish her milk.
I hear you, and I have a much better understanding of what you went through with me.
I've learned from you, Dad.
And I promise you now to use what I've learned to make the best life I can for my family.
Yeah.
I'll say goodbye now, Dad.
But we'll talk again.
I just want you to know I love you so much.
I always did.
Did you hear any of this, Dad? Do you hear me? It's me, Steven.
Your son.
Hey, morning, Dad.
Morning, Alex.
What you got there? Some of Grandpa's old papers.
Anything interesting? Yeah, here's something you might enjoy.
Prospectus for a brand-new company called IBM.
Huh.
See what Grandpa wrote in the margin.
Ah, let's see.
"This company will be successful on a scale we can only begin to imagine.
" Knew I got it from somewhere.
My dad was very shrewd financially.
Of course he was shrewd financially, Dad.
You don't just get someone like me by accident.
It takes, uh It takes generations of breeding.
Of nurturing that one special gene.
The finance gene.
Well, I didn't get any of it.
Well, it skips a generation, Dad.
That means your kids won't get it.
Don't even joke about that.
So how much did grandpa invest in IBM? Nothing.
Nothing? No.
Wh? I don't get it.
See, your grandpa was great at pickin' 'em.
But he was just too nervous to really risk his own family's money, not in a big way.
He must have known he was right.
I always do.
A lot of these men who went through the Depression, it colored everything they did.
They'd seen it all collapse, and they never really believed it wouldn't happen again.
Life insurance.
They believed in that.
Savings banks.
Five percent, compounded quarterly.
Small dreams, but safe.
You know, I remember the, uh, first day I figured out what savings banks were really all about.
You know, if they were able to pay you five percent to use your money, you could bet they were making a lot more than five percent on it themselves.
I remember I came running home to tell you about it.
I remember.
Your kindergarten teacher was furious.
Yes, Miss McCullough.
No head for business, that woman.
It's funny, isn't it? You live a lifetime, this is what's left.
My dad reduced to a stack of papers and files.
Such a complex man.
I really loved him, Dad.
I know.
He loved you.
Yeah, well, we were a lot alike.
You know, sometimes, uh, after you and I have a big talk or a political discussion, and I'd be sitting there thinking: "How did I get into this family?" I'd comfort myself by thinking of him.
You know, I could see the connection.
Sometimes late at night, I'd give him a call.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
He'd get on, I'd say: "Grandpa, quick.
Three reasons why liberalism can never work.
" I don't imagine he had any trouble giving them to you.
No.
I feel close to Uncle Rob too.
Well, that's nice.
I wish I felt closer to him sometimes.
He's a good man, Dad.
He, uh He's a lot more like you than you think.
He just shows it differently.
When did you become so wise about people, Alex? Well, Dad, I know a lot about conservative, financial-type older brothers.
It's my specialty.
Rob and I had some good times as kids.
It's funny how the years color your memories.
I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but when you're older, some of your fondest memories in the world will be of Jennifer and Mallory.
That is hard to believe.
Morning, Alex.
Hey, morning Uncle Rob.
Hey, did you see the paper today? Bromwell Electronics? Up three and three eights.
Yeah, ha-ha-ha.
That's a good boy.
He's a terrific kid, Steve.
You should be proud of him.
I am.
He likes you too, Rob.
And he respects you.
Well, if not the father, at least the son, huh? Robbie, we have to talk.
I realize, uh, you and I have been at odds for a long time now, and, uh, there's a lot of unfinished business between us.
You're not going to bring up the baseball card thing again, are you, Steve? I didn't take your Joe DiMaggio.
How'd we grow so far apart, Rob? I don't know.
One day, you were my little brother, tagging after me with a bat and a ball, shouting, "pitch 'em in.
Pitch 'em in.
" Next year, this snot-nosed, know-it-all teenager telling me what a terrible human being I was and how my values were all wrong.
You always pitched 'em in to me, didn't you, Rob? Even when you were with your friends, the big guys, you always found a minute to come over and pitch in a few.
I suppose I got a little annoying with that, huh? Ah, I'll be honest with you, Steve.
You were a real pain.
I didn't mean to be.
I idolized you, Rob.
You were my big brother.
I wanted to be like you.
Hey, you remember when you were in the fourth grade, I got you on the baseball team with all the ninth grade guys? We used to sit around the locker room and talk about sex.
I was always trying to be so grown up.
I was the only guy in fourth grade pretending he had kids.
When did I become such a bad guy, Steve? When did that happen? You were never a bad guy, Rob.
I think it was me.
Maybe it didn't feel like Dad loved me, I don't know.
You guys were always close.
I was I was the outsider.
Dad loved ya, Steve.
He thought you were unbelievably weird, but he loved you.
And he knew you loved him.
I love you too, Rob.
You're my big brother.
Hey, look, uh, you know, I was just talking to Mom, and, uh Well, she really wants to move.
Well, the sooner she does it, the easier it'll be for her, so maybe you're right.
What's another $5000 against the time she has left? Oh, I don't know, Rob.
You know a lot more about this stuff.
I mean, you're here.
You know best.
Steven.
I'm taking your financial advice.
This is a big day for us.
Don't blow it.
Well, this is the last of it, Dad.
Mom went upstairs to change Andrew.
Thanks.
What about Jennifer and Mallory? Who? Your sisters.
You sat next to them on the plane for three hours.
Oh, yeah.
Those two.
Uh, yeah, well, they're helping Mom with Andrew.
Sit down for a minute, Alex.
Yeah, sure, Dad, uh, something wrong? Mm-mm.
You've become a good-looking young man, Alex.
Thanks Thanks, Dad.
You're a good-looking older man.
You're a knockout.
No, I mean it.
You were You were pudgy as a kid, that's all.
I was worried for a while.
Well, uh, thanks, Dad.
Can't tell you what it means to a guy my age to know his dad thinks he's good-looking.
I was afraid you had too much Uncle Harold in you.
He, um He had a little weight problem.
That's only one guy, Dad? He was a nice man.
Big booming laugh.
Gosh, he's been dead for Oh, Uncle Wally.
He's dead too.
Aunt Edna, Cousin Janet, Uncle Les.
They're all dead.
All dead.
Well, this has been fun.
I got a date tonight.
Thank God.
It's amazing, Alex, isn't it? There's a little piece of all these people in you.
Little movements, a smile, the way you tilt your head.
Sometimes when you walk a certain way, you're the spitting image of your Aunt Ethel.
Wow, that's a real confidence builder before a date, Dad.
It's family, Alex.
You can't escape it.
Yeah.
Oh, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to keep ya.
No problem, uh.
Okay, night, Dad.
Good night, Ethel Alex.
Boys, now you are late for dinner.
I want you to go wash up Hey, guys, no dribbling in the living room.
Milton Berle's on TV tonight.
Can I go over to Butchie's? Oh, you're such a sweet boy, Stevie.
Next time, Mrs.
Kretzer, I promise.
You broke his pipe.
I'm coming, Mom.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm coming, Mom.
That's him.
That's Uncle Milton.
MILTON BERLE I lost my sheep, looks like you lost your shape.
Ladies and gentlemen I'm home, Mom.
I'm home.
I don't have a dad anymore.
Don't worry, Ma.
I'm here.
Elyse is here.
We're gonna help ya.
A lot of ghosts here, Elyse.
Being here just brought it all back.
My dad, the problems, the fights.
Dad always liked you, Rob.
Are you kidding? Me and Dad: "Woosh.
" You and Dad: "Woosh.
" It's so odd being in this house.
I mean, I know I'm married, I'm 40 years old, I got four kids.
But lying in this bed, in this room, I'm telling you, I'm 10 years old.
A lot of ghosts here, Elyse.
A lot of ghosts.
## I'll bet We've been together ## ## For a million years ## ## And I'll bet We'll be together ## ## For a million more ## ## Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ## ## On the night we kissed ## ## And I can't remember What I ever did before ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## And there ain't No nothin' ## ## We can't love Each other through ## ## Ooh-hoo ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## Sha-la-la-la ## Well, it took an hour of singing and rocking, but I finally got Andrew to sleep.
Let him cry, Elyse.
You don't wanna spoil him.
Well, he's in a new place.
I think he's a little nervous.
We didn't believe in over-coddling our children.
Heh.
Well, that's funny because Mom said that you spoiled Dad so much that by the time she got him, he was I'll go check on Andrew.
Anyway, uh, you want me to put these boxes in the hallway? I don't think I spoiled Steven.
I- I don't think I actually used the word "spoiled," May.
Uh, anyway, it was mostly in the area of food.
What kind of food? I- It was nothing.
You know, we can organize these boxes by size How did I spoil him with food? Okay, come on, break it up, you two.
Break it up.
Look, it's all right for Grandma to spoil one of her children.
Mom spoiled me.
It's only natural.
I'm her I'm her favorite.
That's not true, Alex.
Don't Don't try to hide it, Mom.
It's It's only natural.
I mean, uh, Darwin.
Survival of the cutest.
Who's this Darwin guy, a friend of yours? I don't have any favorites, Alex.
That's okay, Mom.
That's all right.
You don't wanna talk in front of the M-A-L.
That's okay.
This guy, number one.
Well, we have an offer.
You have an offer on the house? Yeah, have it here, Ma.
Looks real good.
I don't know how good it looks.
Take it easy, Steve.
Well, did you get the price you asked for? Very close.
Well, what's the problem, then? Well, I'm thinking maybe we can get more.
Oh, come on, Robert.
We've been through this.
That's a fair price.
I'm not so sure it's a fair price.
I happen to have some expertise in the real estate area, don't forget.
What expertise? Maureen.
My wife.
Her father was a realtor.
So, what does that make you, a realtor-in-law? Go ahead, make fun.
But if Dad were here, he would agree with me.
He would say, "Let's get our price.
" He would, and you know it.
And he'd be wrong.
Sure.
Well, Dad was always wrong.
I was always wrong.
Everyone was always wrong, Steve, except you.
You're wrong, Rob.
That's not what I said.
Now, boys, stop it.
What is wrong with holding out for a few more dollars? I mean, why is getting more money a sin? It's just not the right time, that's all.
This is not an easy time for Ma.
The faster we get it over with, the better.
It's worth a few dollars to save her that aggravation.
All I know is Dad sweated for 40 years to pay off this house.
I am not letting it go without fighting for every penny.
Robert.
Look, Rob, this isn't gonna be one of your special deals, you hear me? What's wrong with you? Can't you see you're upsetting Ma? Mom's all right.
You're the problem.
You haven't changed, Steven.
Mr.
Emotional.
Mom's upset, so let's get her out of here today.
This minute.
Yeah, sure.
Never mind we're getting taken in the deal.
Why don't we just give the house away? Hey! Who wants a free house? What I said makes sense.
This is a painful time for Ma.
Let's get it over with.
She belongs at the Oaks.
All her friends are there.
Let's get her there.
She'll get there.
There's no big rush.
It's simple math, something you were never too terrific at.
If we keep the house on the market, we get a lot more.
What does "more" mean? She doesn't need more, she needs out.
You're wrong.
If we take this price, Mom goes to the Oaks, we're going to run out of money that much sooner.
Then how are we going to support her? We'll worry about that when the time comes.
Oh, heh, they don't make 'em like you anymore, Steve.
All heart, no brains.
Boy, Dad needed to watch you.
Now I've gotta look out for you.
I mean, you're still the same kid who gave away a brand-new bike to the orphanage.
What was wrong with that? It was my bike.
You never rode it.
I never got a chance.
I turned around, Sister Mary Francis was pedaling it away.
Why are you bringing this up now, Rob? That was 30 years ago.
It'll be 32 years in May.
The point is you don't think like a normal person.
I mean, you never did.
You don't think like Dad, you don't think like me.
You think like you.
Yeah, and that's very dangerous in the real world, Steve.
You can't talk to me this way, Rob.
Not anymore.
I've come here to make sure Mom gets the very best.
I don't want her hurt now.
Who the hell are you, coming here telling me what's best for Mom? I'm here every day.
I do her shopping.
When she gets sick, she calls me up.
When she has troubles in the middle of the night, I'm the one who comes over.
Where are you, Steve? Where are you when your mother needs you? I'm asking you.
Where the hell are you? Because you're sure as hell not here.
Steven, get out here this minute.
What's with him? We're late already.
What's this? Why aren't you dressed? I'm not going.
What do you mean, you're not going? I'm not going.
I'm staying home.
What's the matter, Steven? Why don't you wanna come? I just don't want to.
That's all.
Grandma knows.
It's okay with her.
But it's not okay with me.
When I say the family goes, the family goes.
Now, you get upstairs and get dressed this minute.
No.
You say no to your father? Yes.
I mean, no.
Both.
Maybe Dad needs to talk to Steven alone.
Come on, Robbie.
I can't believe you.
You're gonna get killed.
I love Grandma.
I wish we could go there twice a week.
All right.
I'm gonna say this quietly and only once.
You are gonna go up the stairs, you're gonna get dressed, you're gonna get out in the car, and you're gonna go to Grandma's like a normal human being.
Dad, I go to school five days a week.
I work every day after school and Saturday.
So? So does every kid in America.
So it's Sunday.
It's my day off.
I should be able to do what I want to on my day off.
You know what my father would do if I talked to him like that? He'd take out the strap? Yeah.
I'm not afraid.
You're not afraid? Actually, I'm petrified, but I decided that I was gonna make a stand today.
This is your stand? Yeah.
I should be able to visit Grandma when I want to, not when everybody else does.
By the way, I'm going over there tomorrow.
Who are you? Are you from this planet or what? Dad.
It's me, Steven.
This figures to be a pretty one-sided conversation, Dad, but there are some things I have to say to you.
I can just hear you saying: "Why do you have to bother me when I'm lying down?" I wanna tell you I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm sorry for making it so hard for you.
There's so much I wanna take back, make right.
God.
It all went by so fast.
I wish I could do it all over again, but Then again, I don't think I could stand it.
I just couldn't take Geometry again, Dad.
Three times should be enough for anybody, you gotta understand.
I'm a father of four kids now.
Two sons, just like you had.
I hear you in me, Dad.
I hear you when I tell Alex not to dribble the ball in the house, or tell Mallory not to come home too late, or Jennifer to finish her milk.
I hear you, and I have a much better understanding of what you went through with me.
I've learned from you, Dad.
And I promise you now to use what I've learned to make the best life I can for my family.
Yeah.
I'll say goodbye now, Dad.
But we'll talk again.
I just want you to know I love you so much.
I always did.
Did you hear any of this, Dad? Do you hear me? It's me, Steven.
Your son.
Hey, morning, Dad.
Morning, Alex.
What you got there? Some of Grandpa's old papers.
Anything interesting? Yeah, here's something you might enjoy.
Prospectus for a brand-new company called IBM.
Huh.
See what Grandpa wrote in the margin.
Ah, let's see.
"This company will be successful on a scale we can only begin to imagine.
" Knew I got it from somewhere.
My dad was very shrewd financially.
Of course he was shrewd financially, Dad.
You don't just get someone like me by accident.
It takes, uh It takes generations of breeding.
Of nurturing that one special gene.
The finance gene.
Well, I didn't get any of it.
Well, it skips a generation, Dad.
That means your kids won't get it.
Don't even joke about that.
So how much did grandpa invest in IBM? Nothing.
Nothing? No.
Wh? I don't get it.
See, your grandpa was great at pickin' 'em.
But he was just too nervous to really risk his own family's money, not in a big way.
He must have known he was right.
I always do.
A lot of these men who went through the Depression, it colored everything they did.
They'd seen it all collapse, and they never really believed it wouldn't happen again.
Life insurance.
They believed in that.
Savings banks.
Five percent, compounded quarterly.
Small dreams, but safe.
You know, I remember the, uh, first day I figured out what savings banks were really all about.
You know, if they were able to pay you five percent to use your money, you could bet they were making a lot more than five percent on it themselves.
I remember I came running home to tell you about it.
I remember.
Your kindergarten teacher was furious.
Yes, Miss McCullough.
No head for business, that woman.
It's funny, isn't it? You live a lifetime, this is what's left.
My dad reduced to a stack of papers and files.
Such a complex man.
I really loved him, Dad.
I know.
He loved you.
Yeah, well, we were a lot alike.
You know, sometimes, uh, after you and I have a big talk or a political discussion, and I'd be sitting there thinking: "How did I get into this family?" I'd comfort myself by thinking of him.
You know, I could see the connection.
Sometimes late at night, I'd give him a call.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
He'd get on, I'd say: "Grandpa, quick.
Three reasons why liberalism can never work.
" I don't imagine he had any trouble giving them to you.
No.
I feel close to Uncle Rob too.
Well, that's nice.
I wish I felt closer to him sometimes.
He's a good man, Dad.
He, uh He's a lot more like you than you think.
He just shows it differently.
When did you become so wise about people, Alex? Well, Dad, I know a lot about conservative, financial-type older brothers.
It's my specialty.
Rob and I had some good times as kids.
It's funny how the years color your memories.
I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but when you're older, some of your fondest memories in the world will be of Jennifer and Mallory.
That is hard to believe.
Morning, Alex.
Hey, morning Uncle Rob.
Hey, did you see the paper today? Bromwell Electronics? Up three and three eights.
Yeah, ha-ha-ha.
That's a good boy.
He's a terrific kid, Steve.
You should be proud of him.
I am.
He likes you too, Rob.
And he respects you.
Well, if not the father, at least the son, huh? Robbie, we have to talk.
I realize, uh, you and I have been at odds for a long time now, and, uh, there's a lot of unfinished business between us.
You're not going to bring up the baseball card thing again, are you, Steve? I didn't take your Joe DiMaggio.
How'd we grow so far apart, Rob? I don't know.
One day, you were my little brother, tagging after me with a bat and a ball, shouting, "pitch 'em in.
Pitch 'em in.
" Next year, this snot-nosed, know-it-all teenager telling me what a terrible human being I was and how my values were all wrong.
You always pitched 'em in to me, didn't you, Rob? Even when you were with your friends, the big guys, you always found a minute to come over and pitch in a few.
I suppose I got a little annoying with that, huh? Ah, I'll be honest with you, Steve.
You were a real pain.
I didn't mean to be.
I idolized you, Rob.
You were my big brother.
I wanted to be like you.
Hey, you remember when you were in the fourth grade, I got you on the baseball team with all the ninth grade guys? We used to sit around the locker room and talk about sex.
I was always trying to be so grown up.
I was the only guy in fourth grade pretending he had kids.
When did I become such a bad guy, Steve? When did that happen? You were never a bad guy, Rob.
I think it was me.
Maybe it didn't feel like Dad loved me, I don't know.
You guys were always close.
I was I was the outsider.
Dad loved ya, Steve.
He thought you were unbelievably weird, but he loved you.
And he knew you loved him.
I love you too, Rob.
You're my big brother.
Hey, look, uh, you know, I was just talking to Mom, and, uh Well, she really wants to move.
Well, the sooner she does it, the easier it'll be for her, so maybe you're right.
What's another $5000 against the time she has left? Oh, I don't know, Rob.
You know a lot more about this stuff.
I mean, you're here.
You know best.
Steven.
I'm taking your financial advice.
This is a big day for us.
Don't blow it.
Well, this is the last of it, Dad.
Mom went upstairs to change Andrew.
Thanks.
What about Jennifer and Mallory? Who? Your sisters.
You sat next to them on the plane for three hours.
Oh, yeah.
Those two.
Uh, yeah, well, they're helping Mom with Andrew.
Sit down for a minute, Alex.
Yeah, sure, Dad, uh, something wrong? Mm-mm.
You've become a good-looking young man, Alex.
Thanks Thanks, Dad.
You're a good-looking older man.
You're a knockout.
No, I mean it.
You were You were pudgy as a kid, that's all.
I was worried for a while.
Well, uh, thanks, Dad.
Can't tell you what it means to a guy my age to know his dad thinks he's good-looking.
I was afraid you had too much Uncle Harold in you.
He, um He had a little weight problem.
That's only one guy, Dad? He was a nice man.
Big booming laugh.
Gosh, he's been dead for Oh, Uncle Wally.
He's dead too.
Aunt Edna, Cousin Janet, Uncle Les.
They're all dead.
All dead.
Well, this has been fun.
I got a date tonight.
Thank God.
It's amazing, Alex, isn't it? There's a little piece of all these people in you.
Little movements, a smile, the way you tilt your head.
Sometimes when you walk a certain way, you're the spitting image of your Aunt Ethel.
Wow, that's a real confidence builder before a date, Dad.
It's family, Alex.
You can't escape it.
Yeah.
Oh, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to keep ya.
No problem, uh.
Okay, night, Dad.
Good night, Ethel Alex.
Boys, now you are late for dinner.
I want you to go wash up Hey, guys, no dribbling in the living room.
Milton Berle's on TV tonight.
Can I go over to Butchie's? Oh, you're such a sweet boy, Stevie.
Next time, Mrs.
Kretzer, I promise.
You broke his pipe.
I'm coming, Mom.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm coming, Mom.
That's him.
That's Uncle Milton.
MILTON BERLE I lost my sheep, looks like you lost your shape.
Ladies and gentlemen I'm home, Mom.
I'm home.