Just Shoot Me! (1997) s03e24 Episode Script

Hi, Adrienne.
Make-up's ready.
Are you okay? Not really.
Well, did you eat breakfast? Yes.
Well, there's your problem right there.
Hey, excuse me.
I'm looking for Dennis Finch.
Is he expecting you? Not really.
We went to high school together in Albany and I'm hoping to surprise him.
You two went to school together? What was Finch like? Well, this was before his growth spurt.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Barry.
Hey, Little T.
Little T? Yeah.
They called me Little T because I was a bad-ass like Mr.
T.
Yeah, right.
T was for T-shirt.
He never took his off at swim practice.
No kidding.
I'm sensitive to the sun's harmful rays.
It was an indoor pool.
So, how did you find me? Your dad was in the store buying groceries the other day.
We had a delightful conversation.
Mmm.
Really? Did you recommend paper or plastic? Actually, I own the store.
Stores, really.
There are six of them.
I'm on a fact-finding mission to open one here in Manhattan.
Mmm.
Great.
Just what Fifth Avenue needs, another Fat Boy market.
(CHUCKLES) We're not Fat Boy anymore.
Now we're Hudson Valley Ranch.
The most successful high-end grocer in the state.
According to High-End Grocer Magazine.
I've been in your store.
I love your nut bins.
Everybody says that.
So, Dennis, what do they have you doing around here? Umm, chief of staff.
Kind of an upper management strategy-planner.
Dennis, get me a donut.
Oh, and Dennis, make sure they don't rip me off with a big hole.
I'm not paying for air.
Did you get all that, Miss Dennis? Yes, Mr.
Finch.
It gets a little confusing around here.
Thanks for dropping by, Barry.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why don't you give me a little tour of your empire? I've got about an hour to kill before my meeting at the bank.
I'm running out of places to keep all my money.
(LAUGHS) Just kidding.
But, I do have a lot of it.
Well, I'd love to show you around, it's just real busy.
Talk about busy, I just bought a boat.
Really? Yeah, speaking of boats, remember that house you grew up in? Well, it fit in my game room.
So, how about a tour, huh? Okay.
Well, that's the kitchenette.
Yeah, speaking of kitchenettes, I'm a silent partner in a strip club.
Okay.
Jack! Jack, I got your painting.
Fantastic.
Now, this artist is red hot.
As a favor, the gallery owner turned down six other bids just to sell it to me.
Other people want it? It must be good.
No, no, no, no, no.
You stay out here until I set it up.
What's he got? Business Week is doing a spread on executives and the art in their offices.
What's wrong with the painting you have now? Maya, you don't understand.
This is a huge honor.
I need a painting that's important and impressive.
Something that says Jack Gallo is not only a publisher, but a man of great taste and sophistication.
Jack, it's ready.
Oh, I hope it's got a horse.
Look at the brushwork.
How the background seems to explode with It's a woman crying.
That's right.
It's called Crying Woman.
It's the seminal work of I don't want some broad crying in here.
Every executive in the country's gonna see this article.
What are they gonna think? That you have exquisite taste.
No, that I make women cry.
Frankly, that's something I'd rather gloss over.
Okay, what else you got? What else have I got? Uh-huh.
You know what? Forget it.
Forget it.
Why don't you get the one with the dogs playing baseball? It's poker, idiot.
Dogs don't play baseball.
So, that's the tour.
We don't have a frozen food section, but people do seem to enjoy the supermodels.
She's got a great look, very hip, very now.
Let's get her in here for a meeting.
It's Marlene Dietrich.
She's dead, Einstein.
Let me know if anything changes.
Hey, you know, if my employees talked to me like that, they'd be shipped back to their homeland chop-chop.
Comprende? So, Dennis, how would you like to go to dinner tonight with me and my fiance? You're engaged? Yeah, to someone you know.
In fact, I think you had a crush on her.
You're engaged to Bonnie Lauer? "Battleship" Bonnie? The tuba player? You had a crush on her? What? No.
I was just screwin' with ya.
Ah, who is it for real? Cheryl Norris.
The homecoming queen? Oh, yeah, that's right, she was.
Anyway, bring a date if you like.
Maybe call Bonnie.
I hear she's a catalog model for Three Times a Lady.
(CHUCKLES) Come on.
Rhonda, it's not like it's gonna be a real date.
But you'd still be there.
Yes.
See, that's the part I can't get past.
Okay, Adrienne You're waiting for your boyfriend to come into the bedroom.
And you throw him that sexy look that always turns him on.
(SHUTTER CLICKS) (WAILS) What kind of sick crap is she into? I'm sorry.
I can't do this today.
I can't it take any more.
You know, who can blame her? It is tough sitting on a bed.
She's had a rough time.
You know, last week, she lost the Estee Lauder account to a 19 year old.
And yesterday she got dumped by some hockey player.
What hockey player? He's got a nickname.
Something fierce "The Concierge.
" No, that doesn't seem right.
"The Kamikaze," Brian MacDonald? NINA: That's it! MacDonald's the toughest guy in the league.
Remember, Finch? One night we saw him cold-cock a guy with a stick.
Well, don't you expect that at a hockey game? Not when you're Nathan Lane singing O Canada.
Well, I know just how Adrienne feels.
She's never been more vulnerable.
What she needs now is a confidante.
A friend.
A safe harbor where she can mend her broken heart.
You want me to fire her? No, I'll make the call.
NINA: She's never been more vulnerable.
Tough day? Yeah.
Well, on behalf of the membership committee, welcome to the club.
What club is that? (SIGHS) The Club of Broken Hearts.
Oh, you too? Yeah.
Can I ask you a question? Anything.
Who are you? Dennis Finch.
I'm here to listen.
Oh, well, there's nothing to say, really.
Well, okay.
It was the night of the all-star game and Brian wanted me in the stands, but, you know, I got a call about a big shoot down in St.
Thomas and I And it's your job.
You have to go.
Yes.
Yes, I tried to explain that to Brian, but he just got furious.
I mean, he doesn't understand that Being a model means being on-call I mean, when you think about it, we're really like doctors.
Or firemen.
More doctors.
I mean, if I hadn't gone to St.
Thomas, you know they would've just replaced me with some 19 year old.
Nineteen.
I swear that number's evil.
You know, Brian's number was 19.
Oh.
That is so wrong.
You know what? We should take a walk in the park.
I find that's the best way to work through what's bothering you.
Oh, you'll just be bored.
No.
I like to listen.
Really? Yeah.
I'm a listener.
I think that's why I have so many women friends.
I'm sensitive to their wants and needs.
Finch, could you give me a hand? Yeah, bend at the knees.
I'm telling you, every guy in the park was checking you out.
You think so? Hey, they weren't looking at me.
Except for that one guy hanging out by the men's room.
Anyway, thanks for everything.
I'll see you tonight.
Okay.
Till then, be good to yourself.
Finch, you don't really think you have a chance with this woman, do you? Of course not.
We're practically different species.
I'm not even sure we could mate.
This is about your friend, Barry, isn't it? Yes.
Tonight, when he sees me with Adrienne, it'll be a swift kick in his nut bins.
JACK: Now here's a painting worthy of Business Week.
It's called Self Reliance.
What do you think? Well, it's a little abstract.
Yeah, well, if you look at it closely, you can make out a guy fishing.
Why is he fishing? Because he's self-reliant just like I am.
Can someone hang this up for me? A guy fishing? I can kinda see it.
There's his shoulder and there's his arm But what's he holding? Too short to be a fishing pole.
(GROANING) Oh, my God! I was gonna say he's too happy to be fishing.
Well, at least he's being self reliant.
Somebody's got to tell my dad.
Elliott, you do it.
So what? Everybody does it.
Oh I'll tell Jack, I'll tell Jack.
So Kinda grows on you, doesn't it? BOTH: Uh What's with them? Jack, you can't be photographed in front of this painting.
I can't? No.
Look at it.
Oh, I see now.
Thank God.
I mean, it took me a few minutes, too.
You're jealous because my fisherman is better than that sob-sister you brought in here.
Look, this isn't about that, Jack.
No, it's about you and your need for vindication.
How sad that you can't admit that you bought an ugly painting.
Jack, just listen to me.
No.
I'm gonna get my picture taken in front of this, and you know what people are gonna say when they see it? Get a load of Jack Gallo? That's right.
(DOORBELL RINGS) It's open.
Oh, my God.
You actually gave me your real address.
Okay, Barry's gonna be here any minute, so Are you crying? Here, don't want you looking like a raccoon.
I was watching the E! Channel, and there was Brian coming out of Planet Hollywood with Claire Danes.
Oh, please, she can't hold a candle to you.
Walk it off, kid.
She's young and pretty and I'm an old sack of potatoes.
No, you're not.
I'm potatoes! Big, dumb, fat ones, from Idaho! Okay.
Adrienne, listen to me.
You're a beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman.
Do you really think so? Of course I think so.
Oh, Dennis, you make me feel like I could do anything.
All I care about is how you feel.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Company's here.
Big smile! I'm sorry.
I can't go out tonight.
What? But my friends want to meet you.
Why, so they can judge me? Yes.
I mean, just a quick peek.
Just stand in the corner.
Chest out.
Can't you just explain it to them? I just want to take a bath.
(DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING) No.
You really shouldn't be alone right now.
There you go.
You're right.
Let's take a bath together? Dennis, you remember Change of plans! Good morning.
(WHOOPS) All right.
Looking good.
(HUMMING) Why the long face? I had a great night.
Showing off for Barry made you feel this good? Barry? Umm I wonder what happened to him.
Wait a minute, I remember this look on your face two years ago.
You had sex, didn't you? You had sex with Adrienne? Please, stop being so crude.
Made love.
Four times.
That's impossible.
Not if you stop for Gatorade.
No offense, but why would she sleep with a little rat like you? Hmm, none taken.
God.
God? He's finally making up for all the injustices.
Having to sit on a phone book to take my driver's test.
Not shaving till I was 28.
Everything.
All canceled out in one night.
That's his deal and I'll take it.
I think it's pathetic, guys bragging about sleeping with models.
You don't hear me bragging and I've slept with hundreds.
How do I look? Great.
Why? The photographer's here to take my picture with that painting.
By the way, I'm bidding on another painting from the same artist.
It's called, Taking Care of Business.
The guy's a pole vaulter.
Elliott, I thought you talked to him.
I tried, but he just insulted me.
So you're just gonna let him become a national joke? Yeah, that was the idea, yes.
Then it's settled.
Elliott, get in there.
Why don't you go talk to him? Because I've never talked to my father about sex.
The closest I've come is when he had to explain to me why one of the Rockettes was hiding in the closet.
Mr.
Gallo, are you sure this is the painting you want to be seen with? You bet.
Oh, God.
Jack, could I talk to you for a second out here? Elliott, this is Norman and Janice from Business Week.
Hi.
Jack, it's about your fisherman.
Yeah, look at him.
Clutching his rod.
Struggling with that bad boy.
Norman, you may want to get some of this down.
You know, ever since I was a kid, that's all I ever thought about.
ELLIOTT: Yeah, about that, Jack Of course, once you're married, you're lucky if you can sneak off a couple of times a year without the wife making you feel guilty.
What? That's crazy.
Jack, are you okay? You hold her.
I'll grab the camera.
Hey, man, what happened last night? Oh, sorry.
My girlfriend really needed some private time.
(SCOFFS) Girlfriend.
What happened? Did she spring a leak? Well, why don't you ask her? She's right behind you.
Hi, Barry.
Sorry about last night.
We just felt like being alone.
Son of a bitch.
I'm taking my fiance to a plastic surgeon.
I'll see you in a year.
(BEEPING) Ooh, my beeper.
Here, use my phone.
There's a headset in here if you want to look cool.
I see it, but I don't believe it.
That makes two of us.
Now, that makes perfect sense to me.
Let me tell you a story.
(WHISTLES) My career was at an all-time low.
My boyfriend had dumped me.
My self-confidence was destroyed.
I was weeping on a subway platform at 3 a.
m.
when the token guy came out of his booth and comforted me.
Soon, we were living together.
Every day he brought me flowers and told me how beautiful I was.
So why aren't you still with him? Oh, once he built up my confidence, I felt strong enough to walk out on him forever.
ADRIENNE: Great news, Dennis.
I just got a big swimsuit job for tomorrow.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, but you know what, it's a really early call tomorrow morning so I should probably cancel our plans for tonight.
Oh.
Really? Okay.
Yeah, you know what? I have to thank you for helping me get through yesterday because you really helped me get my confidence back.
NINA: Built up my confidence until I felt strong enough to walk out on him forever.
Forever So you got a swimsuit job, huh? Yeah.
They're gonna be shooting you from the front, right? Why? You think my butt is big? I don't.
I just wish those fashion industry people could get past their hang-ups.
So, they think my butt is big? Who cares? They're morons.
Oh, forget it.
I'm just gonna cancel it.
Let's just stay home again.
Whatever you want, my chunky monkey.
Here's your sea breeze, big D.
Big D? Isn't that what I'm supposed to call you? Oh, yeah.
That's right.
You wanna take a bath? Just let me finish the Jumble, baby.
It's because you can't stand looking at my hideous naked body, isn't it? Of course not.
I'm the one who likes it, remember? I'll go run the water.
I don't know.
I'll put on your Titanic soundtrack.
Now you're playing dirty.
Okay, I'll be right in.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Hi.
Delivery for Adrienne Barker.
I'll take it.
Oh, boy, you know, we flipped a coin back down at the florist and I won, so I was thinking maybe I could meet her.
DENNIS: Adrienne, darling, I've been a fool.
Being away from you has only made me realize how beautiful you are and how much I love you.
Nothing means as much to me as you.
Not even my hat-trick against the Maple Leafs.
My only prayer is that someone hasn't scooped you up.
I love you.
Brian.
Big D, the bath's What's that? I bought you flowers.
Tulips.
My favorite.
How did you know? Oh, you have so many wooden clogs.
It stood to reason.
Oh, let me see what you wrote.
No.
No.
To hell with it.
I should speak from my heart.
Adrienne, I don't know what freak of nature has brought us together for the last few days, but Oh, believe me.
I know how lucky I am.
Dennis, I love you.
You do? Yes.
Marry me.
What? Marry me.
Really? Marry me.
Doesn't that glass hurt? Yeah, deep cuts.
Marry me.
Let's grow old together.
But, Dennis, this is all happening so fast.
I don't know what to say.
Say yes.
Make me the happiest guy in the world.
Yes.
I'll marry you.
(LAUGHING) Wait.
* Life keeps bringing me back to you * Keeps bringing me home * It don't matter what I wanna do * 'Cause it's got a mind of its own * Life keeps bringing me back to you *