Lip Sync Battle (2015) s03e24 Episode Script

1 - Oh! - (rock music playing) Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good Everybody says It's just like rock 'n' roll Well, it's plain to see You were meant for me, yeah I'm your boy Your 20th century toy (thuds) - (feedback) - (cheering) Chrissy: He's so good, he's bad.
Clap those hands for your handsome man on the Mic.
- LL Cool J! - What's up? (audience cheering) Hands in the air! Hands in the air! Let me hear you say, "Yeah!" Audience: Yeah! - Say, "Hell, yeah!" - Audience: Hell, yeah! Now, scream! (audience screams, cheers) Wow! - We got something good tonight.
- (audience cheering) Welcome to Lip Sync Battle, the show that promises if you wanna have a good time, we're here to give you what you want.
Now tonight, we've got a battle that's a nice mix of fine and funny, but before we meet our contenders, nothing goes down around here without the lady who puts the color in color commentator.
The remarkable, the downright splendid, with spectacular sparkle - Chrissy Teigen.
- (audience cheering) Everywhere I go, I go, I go All they do is stare and stare All they do is stare and stare All they do is stare and stare And stare and stare Chrissy, Chrissy! - Oh, good! - LL: Chrissy! Yeah! (laughs) Yo, Chrissy, I'm ready for a good one.
Are you ready for a good one? - Tonight is good, you guys! - (audience cheering) It's basically what I will call a fairy tale.
We have one incredible beauty, - versus one comedic beast! - Yes.
- Absolutely.
- Beast! All right, well, let's get to it.
- Your home awaits.
- I'm so ready! - Let's do this! - Let's do this.
- (audience cheering) - (dramatic music plays) Okay.
He's a stand-up great, an SNL alum, the star of classic Tommy Boy, Black Sheep and Grownups.
Welcome to the stage - David Spade! - (audience cheering) David, talk to the people.
(loud cheering) And this young lady has ripped the Victoria's Secret runway, graced the covers of Maxim and Health, and she's featured on the cover of the 50th anniversary of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue - Nina Agdal! - (audience cheering) (loud cheering) LL: Yeah! LL: All right.
You guys look nice tonight.
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- Whenever you have two ten's going at it - So do you.
- it's gonna be a battle.
- (laughter) Phenomenal, phenomenal.
Well, you know what, Nina, we're gonna go with ladies first, tonight.
- Thank you.
- So, David, you can have a seat in the VIP.
- David: Fair enough.
- You come on over with me.
(Chrissy, audience cheering) - Uh-oh.
- LL: How you doin'? I am great! - Excellent.
- This is awesome.
Yes, it is.
So, Nina what song are you about to perform? - I am doing "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas.
- (audience cheering) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! - You're welcome, America! - David: That's a good one! - Here is Nina Agdal! - (audience cheering) Chrissy: Oh, I'm so ready.
("My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas playing) Whatcha gonna do with all that junk All that junk inside your trunk - I'ma get-get get-get you drunk - (Chrissy cheering) Get you love drunk off my hump My hump, my hump My hump, my hump, my hump My hump, my hump, my hump My lovely little lumps Check it out I drive these brothers crazy I do it on the daily They treat me really nicely They buy me all these ices Dolce & Gabbana Fendi and NaDonna Karan, they be sharin' All their money got me wearin' fly They say, I keep on takin' And no, I ain't takin' We can keep on datin' I keep on demonstratin' - My love - Love My love, my love, my love You love my lady lumps My hump, my hump, my hump My humps they got you She's got me spendin' Ooh, spendin' all your money on me - And spendin' time on me - LL: Oh! She's got me spendin' Ooh, spendin' all your money on me Up on me, on me Whatcha gonna do with all that junk All that junk inside that trunk I'ma get-get get-get you drunk Get you love drunk off my hump Whatcha gonna do with all that ass All that ass inside them jeans I'ma make-make make-make you scream Make you scream, make you scream - 'Cause of my hump - Huh? - My hump, my hump, my hump - What? - My hump, my hump, my hump - Huh? My lovely lady lumps Check it out (audience cheering) Chrissy.
Oh! I am very familiar with your humps, - Miss Nina.
- You know all about them.
I been touchin' your humps for years.
- Nina: I know! - Your lady lumps, humps, everything.
Oh, that song gets me! You know you're hot too, when you can literally just walk back and forth - and just just do this - I don't know why.
(laughs) and they're going crazy for you.
So, Nina (laughs) Wow.
Did you choose that song because of your girl power? You wanted to put Dave at a disadvantage? - Or what was your thinking? - (laughs) I actually chose it, 'cause it's the first English song - I ever learned the lyrics too.
- David: Aw! I'm from Denmark! - David: Yeah, Denmark! - Yeah! - LL: Denmark in the house! - (audience cheering) She could've just come out there and done nothing.
I would've been like She got me spendin' - David? - Yes? - Nina's gonna be tough competition.
- David: I know! I found out pretty fast! (Chrissy, LL laugh) Adorable, and fun, and good song.
It's a bad combo to beat.
I gotta It's gonna be tough.
- All right, Nina, you can go on over to the VIP.
- (Chrissy cheering) - David, you come on over! - (audience cheering) Oh.
- David Spade.
- Yes, sir? - Welcome.
- Thank you, bud.
What song did you choose? I chose one that reminds me of a simpler time.
- All right.
I guess they're about to find out what it is.
- We'll see what it is.
Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen - David Spade! - (audience cheering) ("White Lines (Don't Do It)" by Grandmaster Flash playing) Freeze! Rock! Bass! Ooh white lines Vision dreams of passion Blowin' through my mind And all the while I think of you Pipeline A very strange reaction For us to unwind The more I see, the more I do - Something like a phenomenon - Baby Tellin' your body to come along But white lines Blow away Blow! Rock! - Blow! - Ticket to ride, white line highway Tell all your friends, they can go my way Pay your toll, sell your soul Pound for pound, costs more than gold The longer you stay, the more you pay My white line, go a long way Either up your nose or through your vein With nothin' to gain, except killin' your brain Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock! Rock! Blow! - Ah - Get higher, baby - Ah - Get higher, girl - Ah - Get higher, baby - And don't ever come down - Freebase! (audience cheering) LL: Oh! Chrissy! - Yeah, Chrissy? - Did you know David was gonna take you to the Bronx? Now I know why when I always Whenever I see you, you're always hanging out with models.
- That's it's 'cause of those sweet moves.
- (David laughs) Oh, I thought it was 'cause of the white lines.
(LL laughs) - So, Nina, Nina.
- Chrissy: I love you.
- Yes! - LL: Nina.
- You see David do his thing.
So, what do you think? - (Nina sighs) You got something for him in Round Two or what? Honestly, I think I'm too young for that song.
- So I don't even know it, but - That's what I told her.
I said - she might not know it.
- (audience groaning) - That's okay! - But I saw your footwork, and that was excellent.
David: I had some fancy footwork.
My shoe almost came off.
It was like a car accident.
I was like my my foot started flopping around, and I couldn't find my trumpet, and Yo, honestly, I did not know you had that trumpet on you.
- No way! - That was a hell of a stash.
I usually keep it in the front.
What's up? - Hey, hey! - (audience cheering, applause) (David laughs) - So, David, you just head over to the VIP area.
- Okay, good, thanks.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- (David sighs) Okay, so, Nina and David came with it in Round One.
And the belt is truly up for grabs.
When we come back, the contenders throw down, and take their performance to the next level.
You'd be crazy to miss this.
It's Lip Sync Battle.
Freeze! Rock! Lip Sync Battle is back, and in Round One, both David Spade and Nina Agdal brought the energy.
Now, it's time to kick off Round Two, but first let's see how a dude known for joking around was all business backstage.
(audience cheering) (funky music playing) Where's that (bleep) Nina? Is she here yet? She doesn't use these guys, does she? My guys? - I mean - This is so embarrassing.
It's a shared crew.
It's a shared crew.
All my secrets are leaking.
(laughs) All right, well, then, I'll, uh be fake nice to her for a minute, and then go back to my Nina voodoo doll.
(laughter) Good morning, angel.
I have to fake-be-nice 'cause the cameras are here.
- Why?! You don't really like me? - No, I do! - We're competitors though.
- I know.
But we're gonna end up friends at the end, right? - I think we're already friends.
- Oh.
A little more makeup, little more makeup.
Are you, like, ready? Yeah.
Sixteen Advils later - "Advil.
" Yeah.
- You're, like, on it.
Know what I'm talkin' 'bout, talkin' 'bout Make 'em bounce like a booty do I'm getting a little better.
Are you sore at all or are you just used to this? Um, I'm pretty sore in my neck, - but I can't tell you why.
- You snap it around? - No.
I'm not gonna tell you! - Okay, I've got it narrowed down to 80 songs.
- I'm not gonna tell you! - Now I know what it is.
There was a lot of eyerolling at the beginning from the dancers.
- David: I'm here.
- (laughter) - Hello! - I heard what you I heard everything you said about me.
You're like, "This week, we're (bleep).
- Have they ever had no winners?" - (laughter) They see that I've really got game.
And they're like, "He's one of us.
" Dancers (chanting): David Spade! David Spade! David Spade! I know the words to that one.
("Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham! playing) - Jitterbug - (audience cheers) Jitterbug - You put the boom boom into my heart - Hoo hoo You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts - Jitterbug into my brain - Yeah, yeah Goes bang bang bang till my feet do the same But something's buggin' you Something ain't right My best friend told me what you did last night Left me sleepin' In my bed I was dreamin' But I should've been with you instead Wake me up Before you go-go Don't leave me hangin' on like a yo-yo Wake me up Before you go-go Take me dancin' tonight I wanna hit that high - Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby - Jitterbug Cuddle up, baby Move in tight We'll go dancing tomorrow night It's cold out there, but it's warm in bed They can dance We'll stay at home instead (audience cheering) Wake me up Before you go-go 'Cause I'm not plannin' on goin' solo - Go, go, go, go - Wake me up - Before you go-go - Yeah, yeah, yeah - Take me dancin' tonight - Ooh-ooh! (audience cheering) - Chrissy: Whoo! - LL: Whoo! LL: Oh, man! - Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy.
- Chrissy: Oh my God.
Did David wake you up? Oh! I finally get to see those legs of yours.
I've been waiting so long.
Available for leg modeling.
(laughs) So, Nina.
Okay, now, come on now, what? - You're in a competition! - Oh, boy.
I-I mean, I couldn't stop moving.
I got to admit, and the T-shirts, and your whole situation.
- You kinda killed it.
- You like the shorts? You like the shorts, Nina? I love the shorts.
I wish they were shorter though.
Uh, we kept everything taped in.
We don't want to bother America right now with this situation.
It would be uncomfortable for them.
That what took so long back there? You were busy taping your (bleep) up? (laughter) - No, I was taping the trumpet back in.
- LL: Yeah.
(laughter) - All right, David, you can "go go" to the VIP.
- I'm dismissing myself.
(audience cheering) David clearly playin' his bid for the champ, but Nina Agdal gets one more crack at it when we come back.
A new champion will soon be crowned.
How she gonna come with it? Come back and find out.
It's Lip Sync Battle! Wake me up Before you go-go Don't leave me hangin' on like a yo-yo Wake me up Before you go-go I don't wanna miss it when you hit that high LSB returns, and David Spade just burned it down, but Nina is ready to play her cards.
Let's see if she comes out in spades.
Let's see how she brought this performance to life.
(audience cheering) Na-Na, Na-Na Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na You're gonna be great! - We're in it together, buddy, but we're not.
- We are.
Choreographer: Yes! Yes! You know I keep it squeaky clean - Okay! - Door's always open.
Okay! I mean, he has game, but I think I have more game.
Yeah, I got hips.
Yeah, very good.
Oh, they're out! My boobs fall out.
I'm coming home I think I'm gonna kill it.
My bags are packed, I'm coming home There's no turning back I'm coming home Nina: That's my best friend! Your best friend doesn't know your name.
I They call me the Ni Ni.
- That's right! - The Nan! The Ni Ni! Don't stop, I won't go loose Choreographer: Yes! (choreographer clapping) That's a real muscle? - That's what they tell me.
- That's (bleep) crazy.
(laughs) What's so fun about this show, you just go out there, and you rock it out and you have fun.
It's not a matter of time, just show me love Yeah, I'm gonna survive I still think I'm gonna take it home.
Sexy always wins.
- Hopefully.
- (laughter) (audience cheering) Music make you lose control - Whoo! - Music make you lose control Let's go ("Lose Control" by Missy Elliott playing) Misdemeanor's in the house Fat man, scoop man, scoop man scoop I've got a cute face, chubby waist Thick legs in shape Rump shakin' both ways Make you do a double take Planet rocker, show stopper Flo fropper, head knocker Beat staller, tail dropper Do ma thing, mother My Rolls Royce, Lamborghini Blue madina always beaming Rag top, chrome pipes Blue lights outta sight - Know me - Sow it in - Say it again - Sow it in Make that money, throw it in Booty bouncing goin' hit Everybody here get it outta control Get your backs off the wall 'Cause Misdemeanor said so - Everybody - Put your hands in the air - Everybody - Put your hands in the air - Everybody - Chrissy: Whoo! - Everybody - Put your hands in the air I can rock to the beat till I'm tired I walk to the club, it's fire Get it krunk and wired Wave yo hands, scream louder Take somebody by the waist and unh! Now throw it in their face like unh! Systematic, ecstatic This hit be automatic Everybody here get it outta control Get your backs off the wall 'Cause Misdemeanor said so - Everybody - Put your hands in the air - Everybody - Put your hands in the air - Everybody - Put your hands in the air Everybody Put your hands in the air, let's go! (audience cheering) - Oh my God! - LL: Man! Yo! Nina, you know models dance like (bleep).
Models are the worst dancers on the planet.
It's always like all arms.
Nina: It's always like the the fist pump.
Just the one-armed fist pump.
- The one-armed fist pump? - Yeah, and then maybe like moving your legs a little bit.
- That was good! - Yo, that was crazy.
- Oh! David, oh my God! - LL: Yeah, that was crazy.
- Lot of lace, lot of legs on stage.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- There's a lot of things happening.
- How you holdin' up over there in the VIP? - You should wear fishnets! As I quietly take my Glo Gloves off - (laughter) - Um, yeah, I - I didn't even have Glo Gloves! - You did not! You crunched it.
That was so good.
There was so much going on.
I loved it.
I have to say.
I wanna talk trash.
It was too good.
- I can't say anything.
- (audience cheering) Well, Nina, you go on ahead and rest over there in the VIP.
- Thanks.
- Yikes! So the battle is over! Almost time to find a champion.
Who gets the belt? Nina or David? The audience has a tough decision! Find out who takes it home next on Lip Sync Battle.
Everybody here get it outta control Get your backs off the wall 'Cause Misdemeanor said so Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle.
Now, this show is all about the match-ups, and tonight, Nina and David definitely brought it.
- Yeah.
- There are no losers here.
But only one of you guys - can be the Lip Sync Battle champion.
- Yeah.
- Only one of you, all right? - Okay.
- So, uh, Chrissy, are you ready? - Yes.
Ready! All right.
Is the champ Nina Agdal? (audience cheering) Or is the champ David Spade? (audience cheering louder) And the Lip Sync Battle champion is David Spade! (audience cheering) David: What do I do? Oh! LL: Make some noise for Dave! Make some noise for Dave! (audience cheering) I think (muffled speech, indistinct) Nice! It's good to win, ain't it? - Nice to win.
- I got a kiss from Nina.
That was, uh, a lot of yells, so it was pretty tight.
I think I'll give her half this back.
That was great.
That was a great one.
Very hard to say I beat those dancers, but great time! Thank you.
I'm doing a speech.
- Thanks everyone! - (laughter) I wanna thank Moonlight, La La Land.
I wanna thank all the dancers that were great.
- (LL laughs) - (audience cheering) Let's give it up for Nina one more time, y'all.
(audience cheering) Well, a big thanks to David Spade and Nina Agdal for being down with the Lip Sync crew tonight.
One love from me, LL Cool J and Chrissy.
And remember, whatever you do in life, knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L! Wake me up Before you go-go Don't leave me hangin' LL: Come on, victory lap.
Come on! Wake me up Before you go-go Take me dancing tonight I wanna hit that high LL: Thank you very much, y'all.
That was amazing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah