Scorpion (2014) s03e24 Episode Script
Maroon 8
1 WALTER: Previously on Scorpion I now pronounce you husband and wife.
(applause) I fired you because I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you, too.
I don't know what to do with that information.
I have an idea.
(gasps) Guess Paige is back on the team.
I know this is not a good time, but we have a case.
The government of French Polynesia needs help setting up their underwater wave-powered generators.
They're willing to fly us to Tahiti, meaning Free honeymoon.
SCOTTY: Our copilot is sick.
We're looking at a minimum of four hours, okay? HAPPY: Nope.
Got a multi-engine commercial license.
Are there any other secrets about you that I should know, my beautiful bride? Probably.
(thuds and rattling) Something's wrong, I can tell.
We've lost power.
Buckle up and brace yourselves; we're going down.
(engine whirring) Nothing's getting the power back up.
Hydraulics, too, they're shot.
I can keep her steady as we lose altitude, but no more than that.
We are on pure glide back to earth at 120 knots.
We need a plan! I can't hack into plane's controls.
Tablet's dead.
Cell phones, too! That loud boom must've been an EMP.
It came from the back.
Guys, move out the way.
I'm gonna open the hatch.
(grunting) WALTER: Oh.
Look, one of the batteries for the wave-powered generators.
People use batteries every day-- why did that one explode? They're designed to charge via ocean current.
But this one must've mistaken the turbulence in the flight for motion of the sea.
SYLVESTER: So it turned on, charged up and overheated till it blew.
This is the last time we take a job using third-party equipment.
This might be the last time we take a job at all! Keep it positive.
SCOTTY: We're at 45,000 feet and dropping fast.
Sounds negative to me! Walt, I hate to state the obvious, but an EMP will not kill the hydraulics.
You need to get eyes on what did! I'm already searching.
Oh, I found it! One of the Pelican cases is being held against the wall, a few feet up in the air.
That can only be from suction.
Which means, when the battery exploded, it sent shrapnel through the wall going to the forward compartment.
That's where the hydraulics are; shrapnel cut the lines.
No fluid, no hydraulics.
And no hydraulics, no control.
If that case wasn't blocking that hole, depressurization would kill us.
Earth's surface is gonna handle that in a matter of minutes.
Not if we get the hydraulics up and running.
We have the world's smartest engineer on board.
SCOTTY: If you can patch the line, I might be able to land this bird safe.
I can't open the hydraulics compartment; it's depressurized.
We won't be able to breathe.
Scotty, Scotty, you have to get this plane down to 8,000 feet to equalize the pressure so Happy can open the hydraulics hatch and fix the line! Science is already doing that for us.
Speed of the plane, weight of the plane, and the plane's g-force of 32.
036, we'll reach 8,000 feet in six minutes and 42 seconds, and then the ground quickly thereafter.
How quickly? Uh, 39.
52 seconds.
It's a shorter honeymoon than I envisioned.
Listen, if she can fix the hydraulics, I'm gonna need all the help I can to pull this from a free fall.
I'll copilot! Ow, that actually hurt.
Not like a crash will.
Walt, hydraulics are under your feet, so cut a rug.
SCOTTY: 39,000 feet.
31,000 to go.
Everyone, we're over the Pacific, so get your flotation devices ready.
Oh, God, I forgot about the water.
I am not a strong swimmer.
30,000 feet! Mom, it's backwards.
20,000 feet! No, this way.
(plane creaking) Coming to 8,000 feet! You ready? Ready.
8,000! Equalizing pressure.
All right, get ready.
(air blowing) You're good.
Open up the hatch.
There's a lot of hydraulic fluid.
(liquid dripping) Do you see the cut line? There's lots of lines, give me a minute.
We don't have a minute, we have just over half a minute.
Uh, I found the culprit-- shrapnel hit the hydraulic fluid reservoir.
It's all drained out.
You can fix it, right? Maybe.
I did a fix like this when I was ice road trucking.
You were what now? 7,400 feet! Okay, we got to improvise a reservoir.
Any kind of fluid could be enough to get us landed.
Oh, oh, I packed a two-liter bottle of Shazz Active to fight off honeymoon hangovers.
Here.
Okay, Walt, put a hole in the bottle cap.
After I feed the tube through the bottle cap, I'm gonna need something to create a tight seal.
Gum.
I always fly with it for Ralph's ear pressure.
Ready? Everyone chew.
Oh, what is this, raspberry mint? Thanks for making my last culinary experience a disappointing one.
5,800 feet! HAPPY: Okay, that's enough.
Hand them over.
Ugh, disgusting.
Shazz, don't fail me now.
Okay, we're done.
Pull her up! (straining) (grunts) Hydraulics engaged, okay, we have control! We're not out of the woods yet.
Yeah, but we are out of the clouds.
Everybody, get your vests on and buckle in! There, to the right, an island.
Good stretch of sandy beach.
You think we can make it? Maybe if I dump fuel.
The weight loss will help us glide longer.
Prevent a fiery crash on impact? Do it.
Okay.
(mechanical whirring) Tricky turn on approach.
Happy! Yeah, coming! How far's the island? 3.
4 miles and closing.
How much fuel did we shed? 13,000 pounds, give or take.
Sly? We're gonna come up a tenth of a mile short.
Smack into the ocean like hitting concrete.
Not if we skip off it, like a rock.
HAPPY: The ocean absorbs some collisional force, easing up our beach landing.
It's not crazy.
It's not? Sly, run the numbers.
Ralph, back him up.
Barf bag.
WALTER: Going at 120 knots, factoring in the kinematic viscosity of seawater and the diameter of the plane's belly.
RALPH AND SLY: Nose up at 22 degrees.
All right, roger that! I got her lined up on approach.
You get back to the cabin.
Like hell, I'm your copilot.
The cockpit is the most dangerous part of the plane.
I'm the captain.
It's not a request.
(seat belt clicks) Ugh, our honeymoon sucks.
Love you.
I love you, too.
Mom, I'm scared.
It's gonna be okay.
(panting) Okay, brace for impact in ten! Nine! Eight! I'm right here, sweetheart.
Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Brace for impact! (grunts) Is everyone okay? (exhales) We made it.
(laughing): I can't believe we all survived.
Please remain in your seats until the captain turns off the âcrap your pantsâ sign.
My life's still flashing before my eyes.
Is that why you look so bored? (moans) How long have we been out? Uh, must've been 20 minutes? Bravo on the landing, ace.
Scotty? Door's jammed.
You okay? (ocean waves rolling) Oh, my God.
CABE: Cockpit got ripped clean off in the crash.
HAPPY: Oh, there it is! (Walter exclaiming) SYLVESTER: Scotty! (groaning) HAPPY: Scotty? That was my seat.
Hey.
Did everybody make it? Yeah.
Thanks to you.
(chuckles) You know, teamwork, huh? Speaking of which, my arm is stuck.
Can you help me out? H-Hang, hang on, hang on.
Y-You can't move him.
We need to get him out.
I know, but he, he needs a hospital.
Hospital? This island's deserted, we saw it from the plane, there's nothing here.
We don't even know where âhereâ is.
Um, Scotty, I'm sorry, can you just give us one second? Uh, guys, sidebar.
(groans) Guys, our fearless flyer is in trouble.
We are all in trouble.
If rescuers don't find us, we don't find a fresh water source, we'll be dead in three days.
I'm aware of that, but Scotty is on a faster clock.
He's talking, alert; it doesn't seem that serious.
No, that's a crush injury.
His arm and all surrounding muscles have been pinned, and that results in a buildup of deadly toxins-- creatine kinase, myoglobin, purines-- so if we just free his arm, those toxins circulate through his body, resulting in heart failure.
Well, let's just leave him there till we figure out what to do.
No, no, that's not an option, 'cause soon enough, the toxins will seep through the pinned veins and get to his heart anyway.
Hold on.
I've seen folks pulled out of earthquake rubble after three days and they live.
That's 'cause they're trapped in an air pocket or under something heavy that hasn't actually compressed their musculature.
Scotty's forearm is building up these toxins, and when the pressure is big enough, molecular level diffusions will just push it through the crush point.
He will die.
SYLVESTER: Then, what are we supposed to do? It's not like we have access to a dialysis machine on this island.
Well, then-then we make one 'cause if we don't, he's dead in 60 minutes.
Scorpion 3x24 Maroon 8 This isn't Gilligan's Island.
We can't take a couple of coconuts and make a dialysis machine.
Who's Gilligan? TOBY: All right, I'll figure something out.
Guys, I need the needles from the first aid kit, and we got to sterilize them somehow so he doesn't get infected.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Let's-let's not do anything drastic, okay? Look, when an aircraft goes missing, dozens of independent agencies start a search.
The EMP kept me from signaling distress, but they know our course.
L.
A.
to Tahiti is a well-traversed route.
Okay? So, let's, let's just give it some time.
If that time's longer than an hour, you die.
You guys aren't doctors, you're-you're computer nerds.
Actually, I am a doctor.
A surgeon? Of the mind.
CABE: He's a shrink, but these guys repaired my aorta in the middle of the desert.
These are the nerds you can bet on.
(scoffs) Okay, look, just do whatever needs to be done, just be smart about it.
Don't worry.
They're smart about everything.
Uh, uh, I'm gonna start looking through what survived the crash, see if I can make a makeshift blood filter.
Uh, one of you geniuses come up with a plan to crack the instrument panel open.
I've been pondering that for some time.
The panel's compromised.
Now, if we use brute force to free Scotty, it could cause further severe damage.
So, we need to melt it and then bend it off him like a hinge.
To sterilize equipment and melt the hinge, we'll need a fire.
- On it.
- All right, I'll go with the kid.
Main thing I need for the dialyzer is something that can process fluid and do filtration.
Oh, how about a coffee machine? Uh, that's my wedding gift to you.
It's in the plane storage.
We didn't register for that.
But the one in the garage is subpar.
You bought a gift for the office? That's unbelievable, but sadly, very believable.
Coffee pot will do the trick.
And I'm also gonna need a semipermeable membrane to filter the toxins out of the blood.
I'm thinking maybe a tropical version of vegetable parchment, like what they used in 19th century dialysis experiments.
Citrus has natural membranes that could do the job.
I'll go see if there's any fruit on this island.
You do realize that fruit is somewhere in that scary jungle.
What other choice do we have? Okay.
I'll go with.
Guys, now the EMP fried our comm, so each group will be on its own.
Now, I will go with you, Paige.
Uh, Toby, Happy, work on the dialysis.
Cabe and Ralph should be back soon.
Now, Scotty, we're gonna pull this off.
Just hold tight.
I'm not going anywhere.
TOBY: Ticktock, people.
Sly, I never thought I'd say this, but slow down.
You're-you're going too fast into a dangerous area.
Scotty doesn't have the luxury of us being cautious.
Besides, the odds of us surviving on this island are so low, what's the point of caution? Who is this guy who looks like Sylvester? He's just having a-a severe reaction to living through something that has over a 99% fatality rate.
He's probably already run thousands of potential scenarios for getting off this island and all of them have a chance of somewhere between zero and nil.
What about you? How are you holding up? I'm freaked out, but I decided to stay positive.
You know, me, too.
Actually, after what happened between us at the wedding, I am only feeling positive.
(laughs) We will get off this island because I have so much to live for.
That's very sweet.
I feel the same way.
Oh.
A gift for (sniffs) my new love.
Oh.
Nice.
Yes.
A-a flower for my flower.
Uh, okay.
We should stay focused on getting that fruit Toby needs.
Yeah, of course.
I'm just expressing how I feel.
I feel nauseous.
Oh, no.
This is gonna be a problem.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Oh, look.
Lime trees on the other side.
This is too far to jump.
Don't need to jump.
Wait, Sly.
Wait, are-are you sure it's safe? Seems so.
Oh, be careful.
What Why? Odds are we're all gonna die here.
I'm playing with house money.
I am worried something is seriously wrong with him.
Excellent maturation here.
You know, if Toby were here, he would say that Sly has spent his whole life terrified of death.
Now that he is facing its imminent arrival, he has nothing left to be scared of.
You know, if we could find some lemons on this island, we can mix them with the leftover water bottles on the plane and make a delicious You guys need to come over here now.
Across a super high, dangerous tree bridge? Trust me.
It's worth it.
Oh, boy.
Thank goodness for the FAA mandatory first aid kit.
How come I'm not in more pain? It's 'cause your nerves are compromised from the compression.
Your brain has no idea how much pain your body's in.
HAPPY: Okay.
Cabe and, uh, Ralph are sterilizing the rest of the needles.
Got the coffee maker, cut the oxygen masks from over the seats.
TOBY: Great, hand me the tubing.
Happy.
If I had stayed in that seat Scotty, I owe you my life.
And I owe you my wife.
That didn't sound right, did it? Just shut it and get to work.
This won't take too long to build.
Team Citrus better be here soon.
(groans) Took you long enough.
WALTER: That's a bunker.
Nothing gets past a genius.
This must be an old Japanese World War II bunker.
Oh, take a look at these maps.
Ooh, this one that's circled.
You think that's where we are? WALTER: Well, that cove corresponds to where we landed.
The shape isn't dissimilar to what I was able to ascertain when we were crashing.
If this is where we are, then we are nowhere near where we thought we were heading.
We're 2,000 miles southeast of Tahiti on an island in a giant swath of the Pacific between New Zealand and Chile.
The EMP blast on the plane must've been preceded by an electromagnetic field that wreaked havoc on the plane's instruments.
It sent us off course without the pilot even knowing.
But rescue parties will still be looking for us, right? WALTER: They'll be looking for us, just not here.
L.
A.
to Tahiti might be a well-traversed route, but L.
A.
to uninhabited island, not so much.
I told you, the odds of getting off this island are infinitesimal.
I don't like fatalistic Sly.
I like terrified-to-die Sly.
That Sly's always looking for solutions.
Too late.
I beat him to it.
TOBY: You know, this rubber bulb should let us manually create enough airflow to get the dialyzer started.
Taking engineering work off my plate.
Nice surprise.
Thanks, Doc.
My pleasure.
Now, speaking of surprises, um, ice road trucker? I mentioned it.
No, no, I-I definitely would've remembered the love of my life driving a multiton vehicle over a frozen lake.
Did you get the booze? Additive-free, at least 80 proof? Grabbed it from the plane's bar.
Um, yeah, I-I-I don't know if this will sterilize.
This is in Portuguese.
It's good.
I read it.
Before we met, I designed automation for a Portuguese car plant.
Wow.
Learning more and more about my new bride, aren't I? Guys! Got 'em! It's the waitress.
Looks like she's got fruit.
TOBY: Where are Sly and Walter? (water boiling) Not so fast around a fire.
You could get burned.
The sooner we sterilize the needles, sooner we save the pilot, sooner we get home.
Maybe you could move faster.
Hey, now, it's okay for you to be scared, but it is not okay for you to be disrespectful to your elders.
Now, that's not like you.
Are you sure everything's all right? (sighs) I'm scared Mom and Walter's new relationship won't have a chance if we don't get back home as soon as possible.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Come on.
I saw how they held hands as the plane went down and how Walter volunteered to go with her into the jungle.
Who needs help picking fruit? You consistently impress me, kid.
I've wanted Walter to be my dad for years, and it's what I want for my mom, but this isn't a good situation for a couple starting out.
We need to get home.
Radio?! We-we can get home.
(sighs) 2,000 miles off course? You know, I-I-I feel responsible.
I-I-I didn't know I was flying blind.
It's not your fault the instruments went wonky.
Okay, Paige, Miss Portugal, now, wash the lime membranes in this bottled water and then I will press them in metal that sheared off the plane in the accident.
Miss Portugal? Oh, you-- oh, yeah.
Oh, you didn't know Happy used to live there? Me neither.
There's actually so much that I don't know about the woman I just agreed to spend eternity with.
One, I had a life before I met you, and two, I only learned the language so I could record my single.
Record the what now? I said too much.
No, you said way too little.
(groans) Hey, oh, hey, pal, you okay? Remember when you told me my brain didn't know I was in so much pain? I think it figured it out.
Well, you're just gonna have to push through and we're gonna have that dialysis machine ready to go soon, okay? We got clean needles, sterilized tubing, organic filter in theory, this works.
And in reality? In reality, there's a very good chance you're going to be home to see your baby be born.
I didn't tell you my wife was expecting.
Well, you you got nine perfectly manicured fingernails, except for your left thumb, which has been bitten to the quick, clearly from stress.
And that photo on your pilot's license, it's less than a year old-- you look 20 pounds lighter in it.
I know men often gain weight when their spouses are pregnant.
It's called the Couvade effect.
But mainly, you got that, um, book in your pilot's bag there.
Ah, you saw that, huh? (Scotty sighs) You know, my wife is due in three weeks.
I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.
Scorpion doesn't fail.
You will be in that delivery room.
Sly and Walter are working on the rescue radio as we speak.
This radio is never gonna work.
What do you care? I thought you accepted we're all gonna die.
That was before you found the radio.
Our survival percentage jumped a few points.
I'm cautiously optimistic, but not if we can't get this transistor box humming again.
We can, we just need a capacitor.
Oh, great, I'll just run to the store and grab you one.
No need-- just pass me one of those pieces of gum that Paige is always sharing with you.
(Sly sighs) What's the problem? Well, we are on a deserted island, and this is my last piece.
Oh, that's truly awful.
So I take this wire.
I roll it in the wrapper, foil on the inside, and instant capacitor.
Actually, it's incredible.
All our brainpower would be useless without Paige's humanity.
If she wasn't thoughtful enough to pack snacks for us, we would have no capacitor.
In a way, she's smarter than us all.
What are you even talking about? She's nowhere near as smart as any of us.
Agree to disagree.
I disagree to agree.
You've never exercised your brain's emotional center before.
The amygdala should be the size of an almond.
Yours is probably the size of a pea.
It has no idea how to handle being in love for the first time, so you're acting like a putz.
A putz? Picking flowers, saying how she's a genius.
You really want Paige to enjoy the last three days of your relationship before the Reaper comes? You should play it cool, because all of this is undignified.
(man speaking Japanese on radio) Oh.
Oh, it's working.
Well, the transmitter's shot, so we can't send a distress signal, but we can listen.
Didn't you learn Japanese when you went undercover in prison? (man speaking Japanese over radio) It's a cargo ship.
Now, a Japanese vessel is passing by two miles out in 17 minutes.
Sly's monitoring their radio chatter now.
How long will it be close to us? I did a rough nautical chart, based on the data Sly could translate.
We believe the ship will be in our field of view for eight minutes.
So we have to make sure it sees us.
'Cause if we don't, it could be weeks until another ship comes by.
Or months.
Or never.
CABE: All right, so what the hell do we do now? I checked the plane's emergency compartment.
The door got ripped off during the crash, the flares are long gone.
What if you fired your gun in the air? Maybe someone on the ship is deck side, and they hear us? My gun got ripped out of the holster from the crash.
I looked for it.
Must have flown into the water somewhere.
Let's quintuple the size of this fire.
A boat could see it.
TOBY: That's a good idea.
You, your mom, and Cabe handle that, Happy and I will start cleaning out Scotty's blood.
That filter should be ready by now.
He's got, like, 15 minutes left if we don't hurry.
Okay, and I'll heat the control panel so we can set him free-- let's go.
Got the fire.
Okay, melt the panel.
I'm gonna stick this guy and start percolating some platelets.
Now, Scotty, to insert the needles, I need to make an arteriovenous graft.
it's gonna sting a little.
Okay, this will make it sting less-- here, chew.
What are they? Kava root.
A natural anesthetic.
Thanks.
I'm gonna turn away now.
Kava root.
A day of marriage, and you're already thinking like a doctor.
I drank Kava tea once after spraining my ankle hiking in Morocco.
Okay, you also lived in Morocco.
No, I was visiting my boyfriend, Jake.
He was filming a movie.
Hold the phone, w-wait.
No, I remember, you told me about Jake.
You dated him, um, eight years ago, right? Hey, you're about to stick metal in my arm.
Don't you want to keep your eye on the ball? Eight years ago, the film Prince of Persia was being shot in Morocco, wasn't it? Don't follow the bread crumbs on this one, Doc.
And that was staring a, uh, a certain Jake Gyllenhaal? Is that the, uh, Jake that you dated? Who's Jake Gyllenhaal? Is he related to that Gilligan fellow? I'm not saying I didn't date him.
Oh, wow.
You know what? I-I don't want to know any more about you.
I don't want to know about long-haul trucking, I don't want to know about celebrity dating.
I certainly don't want to know about this single that you recorded in Portugal, okay? Less history, more mystery.
Okay, we've got the fire going strong.
Cabe's keeping it smoky.
Ralph says it's 11 minutes till the ship sees us.
WALTER: Okay, the panel's weakened.
How do you propose we handle this? Very carefully.
So, Walt will lift the panel, Happy and I will carry Scotty out of the plane, Paige will hold the tubing, and then I will start pumping the blood through the filter.
Okay, on three.
One Wait, wait.
Listen.
If I don't walk onto that boat with you guys please tell my wife that I did everything I could to stay alive.
We'll tell her.
Thanks.
Okay, I'm ready.
On three.
One, two, three! (metal creaking) (groaning) Okay, go, go, go.
Go, go, go! Go, go, go! (pained groans) Hang in there, chief, you're halfway there.
HAPPY: Get cracking.
We're losing him, Doc.
All right, blood's filtering.
Cleaning out the toxins.
But he isn't responsive.
Is he okay? Scotty.
Scotty! Scotty, can you hear me? Scotty.
Scotty, come on! (gasps) You guys are gonna have to get a new coffee machine for the office.
Look, I'm not gonna stop pumping till you've got three cycles of your blood through the filter.
You'll be good, just hang on till the ship sees our smoke.
Okay.
Which they will, thanks to the great fire that Paige helped build.
You did a fantastic job.
Really superlative.
Walt? It's fire.
Cavemen did it.
Arsonists do it all the time.
Don't be jealous 'cause me and my soul mate get along better than you and your soul mate.
What? That's not true.
Today it is.
Walt, a moment? Yeah.
Okay, couldn't be happier we said what we said to each other at Kovelsky's.
Me either, D.
P.
âD.
P.
â? Dedication Paige.
It's my nickname for you.
You know, like in a book, except I'm dedicating my love to you.
Again, just like the flower you gave me in the middle of a search for something that could have saved a man's life, it's really sweet, but maybe not the right time for pet names.
Oh.
Okay.
I'm sorry, it's just I'm I'm I'm full of these feelings that I-I've never had.
And you taught me to be more EQ and to be frank.
They're just kind of coming out of my mouth.
(chuckles) I think it's because my amygdala is a pea instead of an almond.
Yeah, maybe.
Anyway, here's the thing.
You suck at this.
I'm not saying you will forever.
I'm just saying don't try so, so hard.
I know how you feel, you know how I feel.
Let's just let it progress naturally.
Yeah, Sly gave me similar advice.
He said âbe cool.
â He was right.
And then he called me a putz.
He could have said worse.
CABE: Paige, Walter, we got a big problem.
WALTER: What's going on? The wind picked up and shifted.
It's blowing the smoke horizontal instead of vertical.
If the ship's passing in seven minutes, it'll never see the signal if it doesn't get high enough.
SYLVESTER: Guys! What's wrong? On the radio, a weather front, out in the Pacific Oh, you think? We already know.
It's disrupted the fire.
We don't think the boat will be able to see it when it passes by in a few minutes.
We don't have a few minutes.
I heard them reroute the ship's course to avoid rough seas.
I ran the numbers.
The ship will be passing the island in 90 seconds, and it'll only be in view for two minutes after that, tops.
We're gonna need a bigger signal.
WALTER: No, not just bigger, thicker.
With bad weather reducing visibility, we need smoke that will absolutely be seen.
Oh, wet burns denser smoke.
Uh, driftwood, seaweed, any wet vegetation.
Perfect.
Okay, Paige, Cabe, the three of us will collect the materials needed to goose the fire.
Sly, there is no way you would go to the South Pacific without packing binoculars for bird watching.
They're on the plane.
Okay, perfect.
Go grab them so we can look for the boat.
Toby, Happy, stay with Scotty.
Let's go, everyone, now.
Ah! Oh.
(laughing): Oh! There you are.
Okay.
Holy sherbet.
Guys! I found a flare gun! We don't need to worry about fire or wind or anything.
Give me that.
Give me that.
Okay.
Let's hope this thing didn't get damaged in the crash.
Ship's in sight.
Start the clock.
WALTER: Okay, our two-minute window starts now.
Fire.
(flare gun clicks) Firing pin is busted on this thing.
What, it's useless? CABE: No.
The flare's intact; we're gonna have to crack the capsule open, light it up.
There's no way they see it on the beach.
This needs to get airborne.
Then we launch it.
There's a rectangular-shaped gift box with resistance training bands in them from a home workout kit.
I can create a slingshot and launch the sucker.
All right, I'll go find them.
Sly, you come with me, come on.
How do you know what people got us? It was my gift to you.
Oh, oh, oh, so my physique needs some fine-tuning now? It's not Gyllenhaal enough for you? (groaning) Doc? Pulse is weak, unsteady.
What happened? I thought your machine worked.
You mean the one we made out of fruit skins and a coffee pot? 100 seconds! TOBY: What is this? Oh, this is a Grey Turner's sign.
This is a classic indicator of internal bleeding.
He is not dying from crush injury toxins, he is bleeding from the abdomen.
This is likely a vital organ.
Do something.
Well, how do you expect me to cauterize an internal wound that I can't spot or I.
D.
? SYLVESTER: Guys we found the resistance band.
Now, give me that flare so we can get it skyward.
WALTER: That's it.
We can use the flare to save Scotty.
Toby, we can use the strontium nitrate from the cartridge to cauterize the wound.
You're gonna light a flare in him? He's not a jack-o'-lantern.
No, no, no, W-Walt's right.
The caustic nature of the chemical can cauterize because it denatures proteins.
As soon as it comes in touch with-with the bleeding organic material, it'll act as a kind of, like, instant internal Spackle, and it'll close off the wound.
85 seconds! If we do that, the flare's kaput, and we are never leaving this island.
Logically, we're saving Scotty now so he can likely die in a few days of dehydration.
Now, my brain says launch the flare, but another part of me says save Scotty.
That'd be your heart, son.
But I think that there's a way to save Scotty and all of us as well.
Uh, Toby, how much powder do we need for the wound? A few tablespoons.
Okay, Paige, cup your hands.
Yeah.
(grunts) Now, that should be more than enough to save Scotty.
We'll err on the side of saving his life.
Cabe? Let's wrap that band around the bent metal of the wings.
70 seconds! TOBY: Okay, I'm gonna need something cylindrical to act as a shunt to deliver the strontium nitrate, something we can sterilize.
How about a metal straw from a vintage milkshake kit? Surprise.
We never registered for that, either.
That's perfect, get the straw.
Darling bride, can you please be my prep nurse or is that the one job you've never had? Okay, s-save enough to sterilize the straw and your pocket knife.
Hey.
thank you for saving the guy who saved me.
Of course.
Pour some on his bruise.
I know you've been a little bit anxious today, learning all that stuff about me.
Truth is, I've bounced around a lot in my life-- always kind of unsettled, trying things that came my way, looking for a home.
Point is, you're gonna find out a lot of weird stuff about me.
Like your Southern European singing career? You're never gonna get the details on that.
Bottom line, I would not change anything in my past because it's led me to where I am today.
Abandoned on an island with little chance of survival? It led me to be your wife, jackass.
And of all the things I've ever been or will ever be, that one is my favorite.
SYLVESTER: Straw! Ah.
Okay.
40 seconds! TOBY: Knife? Oh, I'm looking away.
Oh, me too.
28 seconds! (band stretching) Are you ready? Just finishing up the slingshot.
Well, since we don't know where the bleed is, I'm making the incision at the point with the greatest proximity to the highest number of vital organs.
Okay, incision made.
Straw? Okay, Paige, pour it in.
But I never sterilized.
Well, when the chemical hits the wound, the pH of the reaction should kill off any bacteria.
(power pouring) Seven seconds! How do we know it's working? The bleeding stops, the bruise disappears.
Four seconds! One second! CABE: Time's up.
Let her rip, son.
Would you look at that.
Would you look at that! Bruise is receding.
And the pulse is back! HAPPY: There he is.
We got to stop meeting like this.
Ship's in my sights.
It's got to turn around soon.
Any minute now.
Scotty's alert and stable.
Good job with him.
Good job with the flare.
The flare got up pretty high.
Walt got it up there, all right.
And while we wait to, uh, go back to civilization, can I steal you for a minute? Sure.
Um okay.
So, um, about our conversation earlier about how you've been acting, uh, since we expressed our feelings for each other.
Yes.
You were totally right.
I, um, was over-eager.
And I'm not fully sure how to approach our current relationship situation, but I have taken what you said to me into consideration and I promise, going forward, to, uh, fight any instinct that I have.
No.
You-you did nothing wrong.
If anyone was a putz, it was me, for-for saying what I said.
Uh I'm incredibly confused.
Listen, I learned something from Toby and Happy today.
We're gonna learn a lot about each other as we go on this journey.
Things, things we didn't know, things that may be uncomfortable.
Like-like, I learned that you can be super geeky when trying to do romantic boyfriend stuff.
That's 'cause you've never done it before.
(chuckles) And-and the truth is, it's sweet.
So, however you want to express yourself, it's okay by me.
Well, that is wonderful to hear my little arrhythmia.
B-Because I make your heart skip a beat? Exactly.
(chuckles) (chuckles nervously) (sighs) Oh, this is gonna be harder than I thought.
What are you more nervous about? The boat turning around or those two guys? (sighs) I hope he doesn't blow it 'cause I haven't had a dad in a long time and I know he'd be perfect.
For me and my mom.
All right, wrap it up, here they come.
PAIGE: Hey.
The boat turn around yet? Any minute now.
That flare got up pretty high.
Walt got it up there, all right.
How's it looking? Don't think the boat's gotten any closer.
Well, it's a big vessel.
Takes a-a while to change course.
Boat on its way? Any minute now.
The flare got up pretty high.
Hey, did the flare Walt got it up there, all right?! Okay.
Sheesh.
Scotty's resting.
He's doing great.
How long till the boat's here? The Water Channel.
HB Ocean.
Sea BS.
Get it? Sea-BS? Stopped being funny 15 days ago.
Sea-W? Huh? This is the good stuff right here.
Coconut? Any more hooch on the plane? Just the Portuguese stuff.
That'll work.
Really getting the hang of fishing.
Hey, uh, perhaps after dinner, you, me and Ralph can take a walk by the cove? Yeah, fantastic.
18th straight day on a cove walk? Can never get enough sand and shells.
That is the sense of humor that is making this whole ordeal bearable, (chuckles) my little asthma.
'Cause she takes your breath away? (snaps fingers) I'm gonna go brine this fish.
Afternoon, Cabe.
Fish for dinner tonight? You really got it up there.
Hey, Walt, have you seen Sly? He's still in the bunker.
And I think he's kind of losing his mind.
SYLVESTER: Three and a half days until we're out of coconuts.
Fish migration patterns have changed with colder weather.
Got to keep Ralph alive so he can tell our story, but how with no food? What's that, Mitchell? We can't eat Cabe.
That'd be crazy.
Now, let's get back to rehearsing.
I'll take the first verse this time.
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do.
(applause) I fired you because I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you, too.
I don't know what to do with that information.
I have an idea.
(gasps) Guess Paige is back on the team.
I know this is not a good time, but we have a case.
The government of French Polynesia needs help setting up their underwater wave-powered generators.
They're willing to fly us to Tahiti, meaning Free honeymoon.
SCOTTY: Our copilot is sick.
We're looking at a minimum of four hours, okay? HAPPY: Nope.
Got a multi-engine commercial license.
Are there any other secrets about you that I should know, my beautiful bride? Probably.
(thuds and rattling) Something's wrong, I can tell.
We've lost power.
Buckle up and brace yourselves; we're going down.
(engine whirring) Nothing's getting the power back up.
Hydraulics, too, they're shot.
I can keep her steady as we lose altitude, but no more than that.
We are on pure glide back to earth at 120 knots.
We need a plan! I can't hack into plane's controls.
Tablet's dead.
Cell phones, too! That loud boom must've been an EMP.
It came from the back.
Guys, move out the way.
I'm gonna open the hatch.
(grunting) WALTER: Oh.
Look, one of the batteries for the wave-powered generators.
People use batteries every day-- why did that one explode? They're designed to charge via ocean current.
But this one must've mistaken the turbulence in the flight for motion of the sea.
SYLVESTER: So it turned on, charged up and overheated till it blew.
This is the last time we take a job using third-party equipment.
This might be the last time we take a job at all! Keep it positive.
SCOTTY: We're at 45,000 feet and dropping fast.
Sounds negative to me! Walt, I hate to state the obvious, but an EMP will not kill the hydraulics.
You need to get eyes on what did! I'm already searching.
Oh, I found it! One of the Pelican cases is being held against the wall, a few feet up in the air.
That can only be from suction.
Which means, when the battery exploded, it sent shrapnel through the wall going to the forward compartment.
That's where the hydraulics are; shrapnel cut the lines.
No fluid, no hydraulics.
And no hydraulics, no control.
If that case wasn't blocking that hole, depressurization would kill us.
Earth's surface is gonna handle that in a matter of minutes.
Not if we get the hydraulics up and running.
We have the world's smartest engineer on board.
SCOTTY: If you can patch the line, I might be able to land this bird safe.
I can't open the hydraulics compartment; it's depressurized.
We won't be able to breathe.
Scotty, Scotty, you have to get this plane down to 8,000 feet to equalize the pressure so Happy can open the hydraulics hatch and fix the line! Science is already doing that for us.
Speed of the plane, weight of the plane, and the plane's g-force of 32.
036, we'll reach 8,000 feet in six minutes and 42 seconds, and then the ground quickly thereafter.
How quickly? Uh, 39.
52 seconds.
It's a shorter honeymoon than I envisioned.
Listen, if she can fix the hydraulics, I'm gonna need all the help I can to pull this from a free fall.
I'll copilot! Ow, that actually hurt.
Not like a crash will.
Walt, hydraulics are under your feet, so cut a rug.
SCOTTY: 39,000 feet.
31,000 to go.
Everyone, we're over the Pacific, so get your flotation devices ready.
Oh, God, I forgot about the water.
I am not a strong swimmer.
30,000 feet! Mom, it's backwards.
20,000 feet! No, this way.
(plane creaking) Coming to 8,000 feet! You ready? Ready.
8,000! Equalizing pressure.
All right, get ready.
(air blowing) You're good.
Open up the hatch.
There's a lot of hydraulic fluid.
(liquid dripping) Do you see the cut line? There's lots of lines, give me a minute.
We don't have a minute, we have just over half a minute.
Uh, I found the culprit-- shrapnel hit the hydraulic fluid reservoir.
It's all drained out.
You can fix it, right? Maybe.
I did a fix like this when I was ice road trucking.
You were what now? 7,400 feet! Okay, we got to improvise a reservoir.
Any kind of fluid could be enough to get us landed.
Oh, oh, I packed a two-liter bottle of Shazz Active to fight off honeymoon hangovers.
Here.
Okay, Walt, put a hole in the bottle cap.
After I feed the tube through the bottle cap, I'm gonna need something to create a tight seal.
Gum.
I always fly with it for Ralph's ear pressure.
Ready? Everyone chew.
Oh, what is this, raspberry mint? Thanks for making my last culinary experience a disappointing one.
5,800 feet! HAPPY: Okay, that's enough.
Hand them over.
Ugh, disgusting.
Shazz, don't fail me now.
Okay, we're done.
Pull her up! (straining) (grunts) Hydraulics engaged, okay, we have control! We're not out of the woods yet.
Yeah, but we are out of the clouds.
Everybody, get your vests on and buckle in! There, to the right, an island.
Good stretch of sandy beach.
You think we can make it? Maybe if I dump fuel.
The weight loss will help us glide longer.
Prevent a fiery crash on impact? Do it.
Okay.
(mechanical whirring) Tricky turn on approach.
Happy! Yeah, coming! How far's the island? 3.
4 miles and closing.
How much fuel did we shed? 13,000 pounds, give or take.
Sly? We're gonna come up a tenth of a mile short.
Smack into the ocean like hitting concrete.
Not if we skip off it, like a rock.
HAPPY: The ocean absorbs some collisional force, easing up our beach landing.
It's not crazy.
It's not? Sly, run the numbers.
Ralph, back him up.
Barf bag.
WALTER: Going at 120 knots, factoring in the kinematic viscosity of seawater and the diameter of the plane's belly.
RALPH AND SLY: Nose up at 22 degrees.
All right, roger that! I got her lined up on approach.
You get back to the cabin.
Like hell, I'm your copilot.
The cockpit is the most dangerous part of the plane.
I'm the captain.
It's not a request.
(seat belt clicks) Ugh, our honeymoon sucks.
Love you.
I love you, too.
Mom, I'm scared.
It's gonna be okay.
(panting) Okay, brace for impact in ten! Nine! Eight! I'm right here, sweetheart.
Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Brace for impact! (grunts) Is everyone okay? (exhales) We made it.
(laughing): I can't believe we all survived.
Please remain in your seats until the captain turns off the âcrap your pantsâ sign.
My life's still flashing before my eyes.
Is that why you look so bored? (moans) How long have we been out? Uh, must've been 20 minutes? Bravo on the landing, ace.
Scotty? Door's jammed.
You okay? (ocean waves rolling) Oh, my God.
CABE: Cockpit got ripped clean off in the crash.
HAPPY: Oh, there it is! (Walter exclaiming) SYLVESTER: Scotty! (groaning) HAPPY: Scotty? That was my seat.
Hey.
Did everybody make it? Yeah.
Thanks to you.
(chuckles) You know, teamwork, huh? Speaking of which, my arm is stuck.
Can you help me out? H-Hang, hang on, hang on.
Y-You can't move him.
We need to get him out.
I know, but he, he needs a hospital.
Hospital? This island's deserted, we saw it from the plane, there's nothing here.
We don't even know where âhereâ is.
Um, Scotty, I'm sorry, can you just give us one second? Uh, guys, sidebar.
(groans) Guys, our fearless flyer is in trouble.
We are all in trouble.
If rescuers don't find us, we don't find a fresh water source, we'll be dead in three days.
I'm aware of that, but Scotty is on a faster clock.
He's talking, alert; it doesn't seem that serious.
No, that's a crush injury.
His arm and all surrounding muscles have been pinned, and that results in a buildup of deadly toxins-- creatine kinase, myoglobin, purines-- so if we just free his arm, those toxins circulate through his body, resulting in heart failure.
Well, let's just leave him there till we figure out what to do.
No, no, that's not an option, 'cause soon enough, the toxins will seep through the pinned veins and get to his heart anyway.
Hold on.
I've seen folks pulled out of earthquake rubble after three days and they live.
That's 'cause they're trapped in an air pocket or under something heavy that hasn't actually compressed their musculature.
Scotty's forearm is building up these toxins, and when the pressure is big enough, molecular level diffusions will just push it through the crush point.
He will die.
SYLVESTER: Then, what are we supposed to do? It's not like we have access to a dialysis machine on this island.
Well, then-then we make one 'cause if we don't, he's dead in 60 minutes.
Scorpion 3x24 Maroon 8 This isn't Gilligan's Island.
We can't take a couple of coconuts and make a dialysis machine.
Who's Gilligan? TOBY: All right, I'll figure something out.
Guys, I need the needles from the first aid kit, and we got to sterilize them somehow so he doesn't get infected.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Let's-let's not do anything drastic, okay? Look, when an aircraft goes missing, dozens of independent agencies start a search.
The EMP kept me from signaling distress, but they know our course.
L.
A.
to Tahiti is a well-traversed route.
Okay? So, let's, let's just give it some time.
If that time's longer than an hour, you die.
You guys aren't doctors, you're-you're computer nerds.
Actually, I am a doctor.
A surgeon? Of the mind.
CABE: He's a shrink, but these guys repaired my aorta in the middle of the desert.
These are the nerds you can bet on.
(scoffs) Okay, look, just do whatever needs to be done, just be smart about it.
Don't worry.
They're smart about everything.
Uh, uh, I'm gonna start looking through what survived the crash, see if I can make a makeshift blood filter.
Uh, one of you geniuses come up with a plan to crack the instrument panel open.
I've been pondering that for some time.
The panel's compromised.
Now, if we use brute force to free Scotty, it could cause further severe damage.
So, we need to melt it and then bend it off him like a hinge.
To sterilize equipment and melt the hinge, we'll need a fire.
- On it.
- All right, I'll go with the kid.
Main thing I need for the dialyzer is something that can process fluid and do filtration.
Oh, how about a coffee machine? Uh, that's my wedding gift to you.
It's in the plane storage.
We didn't register for that.
But the one in the garage is subpar.
You bought a gift for the office? That's unbelievable, but sadly, very believable.
Coffee pot will do the trick.
And I'm also gonna need a semipermeable membrane to filter the toxins out of the blood.
I'm thinking maybe a tropical version of vegetable parchment, like what they used in 19th century dialysis experiments.
Citrus has natural membranes that could do the job.
I'll go see if there's any fruit on this island.
You do realize that fruit is somewhere in that scary jungle.
What other choice do we have? Okay.
I'll go with.
Guys, now the EMP fried our comm, so each group will be on its own.
Now, I will go with you, Paige.
Uh, Toby, Happy, work on the dialysis.
Cabe and Ralph should be back soon.
Now, Scotty, we're gonna pull this off.
Just hold tight.
I'm not going anywhere.
TOBY: Ticktock, people.
Sly, I never thought I'd say this, but slow down.
You're-you're going too fast into a dangerous area.
Scotty doesn't have the luxury of us being cautious.
Besides, the odds of us surviving on this island are so low, what's the point of caution? Who is this guy who looks like Sylvester? He's just having a-a severe reaction to living through something that has over a 99% fatality rate.
He's probably already run thousands of potential scenarios for getting off this island and all of them have a chance of somewhere between zero and nil.
What about you? How are you holding up? I'm freaked out, but I decided to stay positive.
You know, me, too.
Actually, after what happened between us at the wedding, I am only feeling positive.
(laughs) We will get off this island because I have so much to live for.
That's very sweet.
I feel the same way.
Oh.
A gift for (sniffs) my new love.
Oh.
Nice.
Yes.
A-a flower for my flower.
Uh, okay.
We should stay focused on getting that fruit Toby needs.
Yeah, of course.
I'm just expressing how I feel.
I feel nauseous.
Oh, no.
This is gonna be a problem.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Oh, look.
Lime trees on the other side.
This is too far to jump.
Don't need to jump.
Wait, Sly.
Wait, are-are you sure it's safe? Seems so.
Oh, be careful.
What Why? Odds are we're all gonna die here.
I'm playing with house money.
I am worried something is seriously wrong with him.
Excellent maturation here.
You know, if Toby were here, he would say that Sly has spent his whole life terrified of death.
Now that he is facing its imminent arrival, he has nothing left to be scared of.
You know, if we could find some lemons on this island, we can mix them with the leftover water bottles on the plane and make a delicious You guys need to come over here now.
Across a super high, dangerous tree bridge? Trust me.
It's worth it.
Oh, boy.
Thank goodness for the FAA mandatory first aid kit.
How come I'm not in more pain? It's 'cause your nerves are compromised from the compression.
Your brain has no idea how much pain your body's in.
HAPPY: Okay.
Cabe and, uh, Ralph are sterilizing the rest of the needles.
Got the coffee maker, cut the oxygen masks from over the seats.
TOBY: Great, hand me the tubing.
Happy.
If I had stayed in that seat Scotty, I owe you my life.
And I owe you my wife.
That didn't sound right, did it? Just shut it and get to work.
This won't take too long to build.
Team Citrus better be here soon.
(groans) Took you long enough.
WALTER: That's a bunker.
Nothing gets past a genius.
This must be an old Japanese World War II bunker.
Oh, take a look at these maps.
Ooh, this one that's circled.
You think that's where we are? WALTER: Well, that cove corresponds to where we landed.
The shape isn't dissimilar to what I was able to ascertain when we were crashing.
If this is where we are, then we are nowhere near where we thought we were heading.
We're 2,000 miles southeast of Tahiti on an island in a giant swath of the Pacific between New Zealand and Chile.
The EMP blast on the plane must've been preceded by an electromagnetic field that wreaked havoc on the plane's instruments.
It sent us off course without the pilot even knowing.
But rescue parties will still be looking for us, right? WALTER: They'll be looking for us, just not here.
L.
A.
to Tahiti might be a well-traversed route, but L.
A.
to uninhabited island, not so much.
I told you, the odds of getting off this island are infinitesimal.
I don't like fatalistic Sly.
I like terrified-to-die Sly.
That Sly's always looking for solutions.
Too late.
I beat him to it.
TOBY: You know, this rubber bulb should let us manually create enough airflow to get the dialyzer started.
Taking engineering work off my plate.
Nice surprise.
Thanks, Doc.
My pleasure.
Now, speaking of surprises, um, ice road trucker? I mentioned it.
No, no, I-I definitely would've remembered the love of my life driving a multiton vehicle over a frozen lake.
Did you get the booze? Additive-free, at least 80 proof? Grabbed it from the plane's bar.
Um, yeah, I-I-I don't know if this will sterilize.
This is in Portuguese.
It's good.
I read it.
Before we met, I designed automation for a Portuguese car plant.
Wow.
Learning more and more about my new bride, aren't I? Guys! Got 'em! It's the waitress.
Looks like she's got fruit.
TOBY: Where are Sly and Walter? (water boiling) Not so fast around a fire.
You could get burned.
The sooner we sterilize the needles, sooner we save the pilot, sooner we get home.
Maybe you could move faster.
Hey, now, it's okay for you to be scared, but it is not okay for you to be disrespectful to your elders.
Now, that's not like you.
Are you sure everything's all right? (sighs) I'm scared Mom and Walter's new relationship won't have a chance if we don't get back home as soon as possible.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Come on.
I saw how they held hands as the plane went down and how Walter volunteered to go with her into the jungle.
Who needs help picking fruit? You consistently impress me, kid.
I've wanted Walter to be my dad for years, and it's what I want for my mom, but this isn't a good situation for a couple starting out.
We need to get home.
Radio?! We-we can get home.
(sighs) 2,000 miles off course? You know, I-I-I feel responsible.
I-I-I didn't know I was flying blind.
It's not your fault the instruments went wonky.
Okay, Paige, Miss Portugal, now, wash the lime membranes in this bottled water and then I will press them in metal that sheared off the plane in the accident.
Miss Portugal? Oh, you-- oh, yeah.
Oh, you didn't know Happy used to live there? Me neither.
There's actually so much that I don't know about the woman I just agreed to spend eternity with.
One, I had a life before I met you, and two, I only learned the language so I could record my single.
Record the what now? I said too much.
No, you said way too little.
(groans) Hey, oh, hey, pal, you okay? Remember when you told me my brain didn't know I was in so much pain? I think it figured it out.
Well, you're just gonna have to push through and we're gonna have that dialysis machine ready to go soon, okay? We got clean needles, sterilized tubing, organic filter in theory, this works.
And in reality? In reality, there's a very good chance you're going to be home to see your baby be born.
I didn't tell you my wife was expecting.
Well, you you got nine perfectly manicured fingernails, except for your left thumb, which has been bitten to the quick, clearly from stress.
And that photo on your pilot's license, it's less than a year old-- you look 20 pounds lighter in it.
I know men often gain weight when their spouses are pregnant.
It's called the Couvade effect.
But mainly, you got that, um, book in your pilot's bag there.
Ah, you saw that, huh? (Scotty sighs) You know, my wife is due in three weeks.
I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.
Scorpion doesn't fail.
You will be in that delivery room.
Sly and Walter are working on the rescue radio as we speak.
This radio is never gonna work.
What do you care? I thought you accepted we're all gonna die.
That was before you found the radio.
Our survival percentage jumped a few points.
I'm cautiously optimistic, but not if we can't get this transistor box humming again.
We can, we just need a capacitor.
Oh, great, I'll just run to the store and grab you one.
No need-- just pass me one of those pieces of gum that Paige is always sharing with you.
(Sly sighs) What's the problem? Well, we are on a deserted island, and this is my last piece.
Oh, that's truly awful.
So I take this wire.
I roll it in the wrapper, foil on the inside, and instant capacitor.
Actually, it's incredible.
All our brainpower would be useless without Paige's humanity.
If she wasn't thoughtful enough to pack snacks for us, we would have no capacitor.
In a way, she's smarter than us all.
What are you even talking about? She's nowhere near as smart as any of us.
Agree to disagree.
I disagree to agree.
You've never exercised your brain's emotional center before.
The amygdala should be the size of an almond.
Yours is probably the size of a pea.
It has no idea how to handle being in love for the first time, so you're acting like a putz.
A putz? Picking flowers, saying how she's a genius.
You really want Paige to enjoy the last three days of your relationship before the Reaper comes? You should play it cool, because all of this is undignified.
(man speaking Japanese on radio) Oh.
Oh, it's working.
Well, the transmitter's shot, so we can't send a distress signal, but we can listen.
Didn't you learn Japanese when you went undercover in prison? (man speaking Japanese over radio) It's a cargo ship.
Now, a Japanese vessel is passing by two miles out in 17 minutes.
Sly's monitoring their radio chatter now.
How long will it be close to us? I did a rough nautical chart, based on the data Sly could translate.
We believe the ship will be in our field of view for eight minutes.
So we have to make sure it sees us.
'Cause if we don't, it could be weeks until another ship comes by.
Or months.
Or never.
CABE: All right, so what the hell do we do now? I checked the plane's emergency compartment.
The door got ripped off during the crash, the flares are long gone.
What if you fired your gun in the air? Maybe someone on the ship is deck side, and they hear us? My gun got ripped out of the holster from the crash.
I looked for it.
Must have flown into the water somewhere.
Let's quintuple the size of this fire.
A boat could see it.
TOBY: That's a good idea.
You, your mom, and Cabe handle that, Happy and I will start cleaning out Scotty's blood.
That filter should be ready by now.
He's got, like, 15 minutes left if we don't hurry.
Okay, and I'll heat the control panel so we can set him free-- let's go.
Got the fire.
Okay, melt the panel.
I'm gonna stick this guy and start percolating some platelets.
Now, Scotty, to insert the needles, I need to make an arteriovenous graft.
it's gonna sting a little.
Okay, this will make it sting less-- here, chew.
What are they? Kava root.
A natural anesthetic.
Thanks.
I'm gonna turn away now.
Kava root.
A day of marriage, and you're already thinking like a doctor.
I drank Kava tea once after spraining my ankle hiking in Morocco.
Okay, you also lived in Morocco.
No, I was visiting my boyfriend, Jake.
He was filming a movie.
Hold the phone, w-wait.
No, I remember, you told me about Jake.
You dated him, um, eight years ago, right? Hey, you're about to stick metal in my arm.
Don't you want to keep your eye on the ball? Eight years ago, the film Prince of Persia was being shot in Morocco, wasn't it? Don't follow the bread crumbs on this one, Doc.
And that was staring a, uh, a certain Jake Gyllenhaal? Is that the, uh, Jake that you dated? Who's Jake Gyllenhaal? Is he related to that Gilligan fellow? I'm not saying I didn't date him.
Oh, wow.
You know what? I-I don't want to know any more about you.
I don't want to know about long-haul trucking, I don't want to know about celebrity dating.
I certainly don't want to know about this single that you recorded in Portugal, okay? Less history, more mystery.
Okay, we've got the fire going strong.
Cabe's keeping it smoky.
Ralph says it's 11 minutes till the ship sees us.
WALTER: Okay, the panel's weakened.
How do you propose we handle this? Very carefully.
So, Walt will lift the panel, Happy and I will carry Scotty out of the plane, Paige will hold the tubing, and then I will start pumping the blood through the filter.
Okay, on three.
One Wait, wait.
Listen.
If I don't walk onto that boat with you guys please tell my wife that I did everything I could to stay alive.
We'll tell her.
Thanks.
Okay, I'm ready.
On three.
One, two, three! (metal creaking) (groaning) Okay, go, go, go.
Go, go, go! Go, go, go! (pained groans) Hang in there, chief, you're halfway there.
HAPPY: Get cracking.
We're losing him, Doc.
All right, blood's filtering.
Cleaning out the toxins.
But he isn't responsive.
Is he okay? Scotty.
Scotty! Scotty, can you hear me? Scotty.
Scotty, come on! (gasps) You guys are gonna have to get a new coffee machine for the office.
Look, I'm not gonna stop pumping till you've got three cycles of your blood through the filter.
You'll be good, just hang on till the ship sees our smoke.
Okay.
Which they will, thanks to the great fire that Paige helped build.
You did a fantastic job.
Really superlative.
Walt? It's fire.
Cavemen did it.
Arsonists do it all the time.
Don't be jealous 'cause me and my soul mate get along better than you and your soul mate.
What? That's not true.
Today it is.
Walt, a moment? Yeah.
Okay, couldn't be happier we said what we said to each other at Kovelsky's.
Me either, D.
P.
âD.
P.
â? Dedication Paige.
It's my nickname for you.
You know, like in a book, except I'm dedicating my love to you.
Again, just like the flower you gave me in the middle of a search for something that could have saved a man's life, it's really sweet, but maybe not the right time for pet names.
Oh.
Okay.
I'm sorry, it's just I'm I'm I'm full of these feelings that I-I've never had.
And you taught me to be more EQ and to be frank.
They're just kind of coming out of my mouth.
(chuckles) I think it's because my amygdala is a pea instead of an almond.
Yeah, maybe.
Anyway, here's the thing.
You suck at this.
I'm not saying you will forever.
I'm just saying don't try so, so hard.
I know how you feel, you know how I feel.
Let's just let it progress naturally.
Yeah, Sly gave me similar advice.
He said âbe cool.
â He was right.
And then he called me a putz.
He could have said worse.
CABE: Paige, Walter, we got a big problem.
WALTER: What's going on? The wind picked up and shifted.
It's blowing the smoke horizontal instead of vertical.
If the ship's passing in seven minutes, it'll never see the signal if it doesn't get high enough.
SYLVESTER: Guys! What's wrong? On the radio, a weather front, out in the Pacific Oh, you think? We already know.
It's disrupted the fire.
We don't think the boat will be able to see it when it passes by in a few minutes.
We don't have a few minutes.
I heard them reroute the ship's course to avoid rough seas.
I ran the numbers.
The ship will be passing the island in 90 seconds, and it'll only be in view for two minutes after that, tops.
We're gonna need a bigger signal.
WALTER: No, not just bigger, thicker.
With bad weather reducing visibility, we need smoke that will absolutely be seen.
Oh, wet burns denser smoke.
Uh, driftwood, seaweed, any wet vegetation.
Perfect.
Okay, Paige, Cabe, the three of us will collect the materials needed to goose the fire.
Sly, there is no way you would go to the South Pacific without packing binoculars for bird watching.
They're on the plane.
Okay, perfect.
Go grab them so we can look for the boat.
Toby, Happy, stay with Scotty.
Let's go, everyone, now.
Ah! Oh.
(laughing): Oh! There you are.
Okay.
Holy sherbet.
Guys! I found a flare gun! We don't need to worry about fire or wind or anything.
Give me that.
Give me that.
Okay.
Let's hope this thing didn't get damaged in the crash.
Ship's in sight.
Start the clock.
WALTER: Okay, our two-minute window starts now.
Fire.
(flare gun clicks) Firing pin is busted on this thing.
What, it's useless? CABE: No.
The flare's intact; we're gonna have to crack the capsule open, light it up.
There's no way they see it on the beach.
This needs to get airborne.
Then we launch it.
There's a rectangular-shaped gift box with resistance training bands in them from a home workout kit.
I can create a slingshot and launch the sucker.
All right, I'll go find them.
Sly, you come with me, come on.
How do you know what people got us? It was my gift to you.
Oh, oh, oh, so my physique needs some fine-tuning now? It's not Gyllenhaal enough for you? (groaning) Doc? Pulse is weak, unsteady.
What happened? I thought your machine worked.
You mean the one we made out of fruit skins and a coffee pot? 100 seconds! TOBY: What is this? Oh, this is a Grey Turner's sign.
This is a classic indicator of internal bleeding.
He is not dying from crush injury toxins, he is bleeding from the abdomen.
This is likely a vital organ.
Do something.
Well, how do you expect me to cauterize an internal wound that I can't spot or I.
D.
? SYLVESTER: Guys we found the resistance band.
Now, give me that flare so we can get it skyward.
WALTER: That's it.
We can use the flare to save Scotty.
Toby, we can use the strontium nitrate from the cartridge to cauterize the wound.
You're gonna light a flare in him? He's not a jack-o'-lantern.
No, no, no, W-Walt's right.
The caustic nature of the chemical can cauterize because it denatures proteins.
As soon as it comes in touch with-with the bleeding organic material, it'll act as a kind of, like, instant internal Spackle, and it'll close off the wound.
85 seconds! If we do that, the flare's kaput, and we are never leaving this island.
Logically, we're saving Scotty now so he can likely die in a few days of dehydration.
Now, my brain says launch the flare, but another part of me says save Scotty.
That'd be your heart, son.
But I think that there's a way to save Scotty and all of us as well.
Uh, Toby, how much powder do we need for the wound? A few tablespoons.
Okay, Paige, cup your hands.
Yeah.
(grunts) Now, that should be more than enough to save Scotty.
We'll err on the side of saving his life.
Cabe? Let's wrap that band around the bent metal of the wings.
70 seconds! TOBY: Okay, I'm gonna need something cylindrical to act as a shunt to deliver the strontium nitrate, something we can sterilize.
How about a metal straw from a vintage milkshake kit? Surprise.
We never registered for that, either.
That's perfect, get the straw.
Darling bride, can you please be my prep nurse or is that the one job you've never had? Okay, s-save enough to sterilize the straw and your pocket knife.
Hey.
thank you for saving the guy who saved me.
Of course.
Pour some on his bruise.
I know you've been a little bit anxious today, learning all that stuff about me.
Truth is, I've bounced around a lot in my life-- always kind of unsettled, trying things that came my way, looking for a home.
Point is, you're gonna find out a lot of weird stuff about me.
Like your Southern European singing career? You're never gonna get the details on that.
Bottom line, I would not change anything in my past because it's led me to where I am today.
Abandoned on an island with little chance of survival? It led me to be your wife, jackass.
And of all the things I've ever been or will ever be, that one is my favorite.
SYLVESTER: Straw! Ah.
Okay.
40 seconds! TOBY: Knife? Oh, I'm looking away.
Oh, me too.
28 seconds! (band stretching) Are you ready? Just finishing up the slingshot.
Well, since we don't know where the bleed is, I'm making the incision at the point with the greatest proximity to the highest number of vital organs.
Okay, incision made.
Straw? Okay, Paige, pour it in.
But I never sterilized.
Well, when the chemical hits the wound, the pH of the reaction should kill off any bacteria.
(power pouring) Seven seconds! How do we know it's working? The bleeding stops, the bruise disappears.
Four seconds! One second! CABE: Time's up.
Let her rip, son.
Would you look at that.
Would you look at that! Bruise is receding.
And the pulse is back! HAPPY: There he is.
We got to stop meeting like this.
Ship's in my sights.
It's got to turn around soon.
Any minute now.
Scotty's alert and stable.
Good job with him.
Good job with the flare.
The flare got up pretty high.
Walt got it up there, all right.
And while we wait to, uh, go back to civilization, can I steal you for a minute? Sure.
Um okay.
So, um, about our conversation earlier about how you've been acting, uh, since we expressed our feelings for each other.
Yes.
You were totally right.
I, um, was over-eager.
And I'm not fully sure how to approach our current relationship situation, but I have taken what you said to me into consideration and I promise, going forward, to, uh, fight any instinct that I have.
No.
You-you did nothing wrong.
If anyone was a putz, it was me, for-for saying what I said.
Uh I'm incredibly confused.
Listen, I learned something from Toby and Happy today.
We're gonna learn a lot about each other as we go on this journey.
Things, things we didn't know, things that may be uncomfortable.
Like-like, I learned that you can be super geeky when trying to do romantic boyfriend stuff.
That's 'cause you've never done it before.
(chuckles) And-and the truth is, it's sweet.
So, however you want to express yourself, it's okay by me.
Well, that is wonderful to hear my little arrhythmia.
B-Because I make your heart skip a beat? Exactly.
(chuckles) (chuckles nervously) (sighs) Oh, this is gonna be harder than I thought.
What are you more nervous about? The boat turning around or those two guys? (sighs) I hope he doesn't blow it 'cause I haven't had a dad in a long time and I know he'd be perfect.
For me and my mom.
All right, wrap it up, here they come.
PAIGE: Hey.
The boat turn around yet? Any minute now.
That flare got up pretty high.
Walt got it up there, all right.
How's it looking? Don't think the boat's gotten any closer.
Well, it's a big vessel.
Takes a-a while to change course.
Boat on its way? Any minute now.
The flare got up pretty high.
Hey, did the flare Walt got it up there, all right?! Okay.
Sheesh.
Scotty's resting.
He's doing great.
How long till the boat's here? The Water Channel.
HB Ocean.
Sea BS.
Get it? Sea-BS? Stopped being funny 15 days ago.
Sea-W? Huh? This is the good stuff right here.
Coconut? Any more hooch on the plane? Just the Portuguese stuff.
That'll work.
Really getting the hang of fishing.
Hey, uh, perhaps after dinner, you, me and Ralph can take a walk by the cove? Yeah, fantastic.
18th straight day on a cove walk? Can never get enough sand and shells.
That is the sense of humor that is making this whole ordeal bearable, (chuckles) my little asthma.
'Cause she takes your breath away? (snaps fingers) I'm gonna go brine this fish.
Afternoon, Cabe.
Fish for dinner tonight? You really got it up there.
Hey, Walt, have you seen Sly? He's still in the bunker.
And I think he's kind of losing his mind.
SYLVESTER: Three and a half days until we're out of coconuts.
Fish migration patterns have changed with colder weather.
Got to keep Ralph alive so he can tell our story, but how with no food? What's that, Mitchell? We can't eat Cabe.
That'd be crazy.
Now, let's get back to rehearsing.
I'll take the first verse this time.
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do.