The Wild Wild West (1965) s03e24 Episode Script

All quiet, Mr.
West.
Good.
When the president does arrive, you escort him directly to his room.
I'll cover the outside.
What time is it, Charles? Five to 3, Mr.
President.
Good.
Got time for a little rest before those speeches.
Oh, Mr.
President.
That's all right, Charles.
Move on.
I'm being presumptuous, I know.
But I just had to say hello.
Don't you remember me? Marcia Dennison.
Oh, of course.
The theater's incomparable Dennison.
Uh seen your performances in Washington very often.
Wonderful.
And let me assure you, if time permits, I shall be at your opening right here in San Francisco.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Good day.
Good day.
Hy-ah! Hy-ah! Well done, Mr.
President.
He must be one of those who didn't vote for me.
He'll never get another chance.
Let's get back to the hotel, Artie.
Excellent likeness, Mr.
Gordon.
Excellent.
Come on in.
Thank you, sir.
Well, what do you intend to do about it? Uh, we have a suggestion, sir.
Will I kindly stop presenting myself as a target? Is that it? We know we've raised the point before, sir.
But this time it's more important than ever.
Gentlemen, there will always be someone attempting to take potshots at me.
It goes with the job.
Mr.
President, what happened down there was a lot more than just "potshots.
" It was even more than an assassination attempt.
It was more like a war, with you as the objective.
Jim, I'd say that kind of talk is a little on the high-powered side.
So is the weapon, sir.
They used a Gatling gun.
I see.
Four government arsenals and territorial orders depots have been raided in the past two weeks.
Along with a lot of other hardware and arms 13 Gatling guns were taken.
Would you say there's any connection? Well, we haven't examined today's weapon yet, sir.
But I'll give you odds when we do, it turns out to be one of the stolen ones.
A baker's dozen Gatling guns just to snuff out the life of one president? No, sir.
There's gotta be more to the program.
But whatever it is, it begins with your death.
That's why Artie and I feel so definite that you should stay under wraps for a few days.
No I wasn't elected to this high office to cower behind locked doors.
Yes, sir.
Gentlemen there's been no official announcement yet.
But tomorrow night I plan to make an unscheduled trip to Denver.
I'm gonna address the territorial governors assembled there.
It's important.
I won't call it off.
Yes, sir.
All right.
If it'll make you two feel any better, I'll stay right here until then.
Thirty-six hours.
And thank you, sir.
Good day, gentlemen.
Good day, Mr.
President.
Mr.
President.
Artie, you were right.
No doubt about it.
This Gatling gun was stolen from the government.
Yeah, I was willing to give odds to the president.
Raisins? What's that got to do with a Gatling gun? Raisins.
Ah, here it is.
Jim here's your reason.
That dirt found under the gun is a sample of the topsoil you find in grape-growing country.
California.
Uh-huh.
San Joaquin Valley.
It's starting to be big business there.
We couldn't possibly cover every little vineyard in the area.
Well, we might be able to take a shortcut and narrow it down, Artie.
If they're shipping those grapes out of the state it should be near a railroad.
Right.
Now, that would probably limit it to one of two towns.
Either Scottsville and Jubilee.
We could each of us cover an area of approximately Gonna need more than the 36 hours the president's given us.
That's all we've got, Jim.
Good afternoon, Mr.
West.
Good afternoon.
Any messages for me? I'll look, sir.
Thank you.
Not today, Mr.
West.
Thanks.
Now ain't that a disgrace? You know what I think? The president ought to have a batch of full-time guards, with their only job being to protect him.
I think someday it might come to that.
The casks of wine have been delivered to the cellar.
Thank you, Brother.
Where is that receipt? There you go.
There you are.
Thank you.
Marcia Dennison.
I'd know you anyplace.
Why, it's an honor to have you in Jubilee, Miss Dennison.
A great honor.
Why, thank you.
I'm Joe Gillespie.
I run the local theater.
Hey, an attraction like you would sure make my place pay.
Why don't you bring your troupe out here and put on- I'm sorry, Mr.
Gillespie.
I'm not here on business.
Well, it's never the wrong time to talk money, Miss Dennison.
If you don't mind my manager handles all my business affairs.
Jubilee too much of a hick town for you? You're in my way.
We've had big stars here before, Miss Dennison.
You heard the lady, sir.
You're in her way.
Who asked you to butt in? I've got a legitimate right to talk- Get outta here.
Wise guy.
There's one in every crowd.
Mr.
James West, I believe.
That's right, Miss Dennison.
We met in Washington a long time ago.
One of my fondest memories.
And it's fortunate for me that you happen to be in Jubilee.
He was becoming quite annoying.
You gonna be here long? Just a few days.
I, um have business interests here.
How lucky for me.
I'd like you to have lunch with me.
Do you always have such a direct approach? I wanted to ask you first, before every man in Jubilee does.
You're very flattering, but it's been a tiring trip.
Shall we make it dinner? I'd be delighted.
But it will be the longest afternoon I've ever waited.
Ahh, c'est charmont! It's charming! Well, your hotel, of course, does not have the manner or the service that, uh, hotels do in France.
But still, it has an ingratiating quality all its own.
And your railroad.
Ma fois, formidable! The speed and the thunder of the wheels as they roll, I tell you, I thought every tooth would be shaken loose from my mouth.
You're Monsieur Raynard that telegraphed us for a room.
Claude Ashir Antoine Raynard.
I'll be in the restaurant.
Yes, ma'am.
Traveler, lover of, uh, lovely things, wine taster extraordinaire and a devoted student of the grape.
Uh, Monsieur Raynard.
Ah, Oui? I'm- I'm, uh, familiar with you by reputation.
Really? Oh, you do me the honor to remembrance of my name, Monsieur, uh West.
James West.
Ah, enchanter! Would you like to have a drink with me? I'd be delighted.
Ah, bon! Eh, please to transport my luggage up to my room, huh? What did you find out in Scottsville? A dead end.
The raisins are a Bordeaux-type grape.
They don't grown them in that area.
Eh, which way? Uh, right this way, sir.
Ah, thank you.
I'm most honored that you are having a drink with me, Mr- Ah, look at that! Santa Paula wine.
Do you know, that is the closest thing to French wine that you have here in this country? Monsieur.
Anything turn up in these parts? Nothing except Marcia Dennison.
Yeah, so I noticed.
What's she doing around here? I don't know.
Maybe I'll find out tonight at dinner.
One thing you never waste is time, huh? Ah, monsieur, could we have, uh, two Santa Paula Bordeaux, please, eh? You know, if those raisins did come from the monastery, they're not gonna do us very much good.
Ah, not necessarily.
There any other commercial wineries around here? None that I know of.
Wouldn't it be awful if this place turned out to be a dead end too? Ah, merci.
Oh, this has just the right amount of dryness.
You will see, eh? Merci.
The color is a little, uh on the light side, monsieur.
It could rob the wine of its spirit, you know? This stuff's been robbed of a lot more than its spirit.
What do you think's wrong with it? Subtle difference.
It's sweeter than usual, uh- No body in the bouquet.
Artie, that can happen to a bottle of wine.
No, no, no.
The brothers have been making this stuff for more than 50 years.
Isn't it funny they should suddenly start making mistakes now? Artie, speaking of funny things do you know of any order of monks that permit them to wear jewelry? I never heard of any in my life.
Well, I saw a monk in the lobby with a ring on his finger.
Jim.
Last time he was here, he'd just finished delivering wine.
Delivering something else now.
Two monks now, Artie.
They went out the emergency exit.
Hey, mes bons frères! My good Brothers.
The golden Cossack Brothers of Santa Paula.
If you don't mind, please, we are in a hurry.
Oh, no, no.
I wish only to felicitate you upon the excellence of your brandy.
Fantastique! Second only to that made by the Benedictine order.
I think maybe you like it too much.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, It's not that at all.
I'm a wine- Eh, permit me to introduce myself.
Claude Ashir Antoine Raynard.
Wine taster extraordinaire, at your service, monsieur.
Take my advice, my friend, and go back to France while you can.
Ah, but I'd- I would- This way.
The general is waiting for you in his office.
Twenty miles of dirt road.
I'll be bruised for life.
This way, Miss Dennison.
Lunge and twist! Lunge! Twist! Lunge! Twist! It's not a knife, it's a bayonet.
Do you understand? A bayonet.
Look, it's not a saber either, so don't try to swing it like it was.
You lunge with it! You lunge, and you twist! Lunge and twist! Well, it's easy to see why you guys got tossed out of the army.
If the regular army paid as well as this one did, we probably wouldn't have gotten tossed out.
Okay only don't you get the idea this ain't any army.
You just try disobeying an order, and you'll see how fast you end up facing that firing squad.
Now let's get with it.
Lunge and twist! Lunge! Lift! Twist! and I found out this much, the president will definitely be on the train bound for Denver late tonight.
Wonderful.
Wonderful! Wonderful? But there goes your last chance to- Let me show you, my dear.
If the presidential train is bound for Denver it has to go through Myoga Pass.
A perfect spot for a nice little ambush.
Oh, I know that pass.
I know it well.
For three years I commanded Fort Brandon there.
Three years ago Grant broke me.
Relieved me of my command.
Three years later, I shall relieve him of his life.
But he'll be heavily guarded.
Why is it so necessary that you assassinate him? Isn't it a big enough prize to seize control of the entire territory? Don't you see? Grant's death is the key to my entire operation.
But why? Well, with Grant's death, every- Every military garrison in the area will be thrown into confusion.
My troops will have complete control in a matter of hours.
What Quantrill did during the war I can do now.
Everything would lose its meaning, Cullen, if something should happen to you.
I promised we'd be married when this is over.
You've been my eyes you've been my ears whenever I've needed information.
And I'm grateful.
What about James West being in Jubilee? West was lucky in San Francisco.
He won't stop me this time.
Tries to get in my way, he'll die.
Tonight on Myoga Pass our new world begins.
You! What are you doing there? Nobody's allowed in there.
Yeah, well, I've got permission.
In the name of sweet mercy, did you bring the medicine? why are you in there? What manner of talk is this? First you cast us down into the pit as Joseph's brethren did unto him, and then you ask, "Why are you down here?" I don't have much time, but please believe me.
I'm your friend.
A friend? Do you hear, Brothers? I told you our prayers would be answered, even as Joseph's were.
I am Brother Angelo.
This is Brother Thomas, poor soul.
Brother Theophile, Brother Stanislaus, Brother Solomon.
This pit used to hold the sand we used for our bottle glass.
Now it's our prison.
Where are the rest of the brothers? All being held prisoners in the refectory.
You are-? I'm James West, a government agent.
What happened here? Several months ago, that man Cullen Dane- Dane? You know him? Yes, but please go on.
He came here with many men like a small army, and he simply took over the monastery.
How was he able to keep it secret? They posed as members of our order.
And since we have very few visitors, no one has found out.
They've even forced us to keep on making the wine and brandy.
Deliberately making bad wine and brandy, Brother Angelo? You noticed.
You couldn't have sent a better SOS.
We were beginning to despair that anyone would realize.
What's wrong with him? Brother Thomas.
He's had another attack, and this one is quite serious, I'm afraid.
There is medicine in the dispensary that will ease him, but nobody will bring it.
Where is it? The dispensary's in the west wing.
It's the last door on the right.
And his preparation is in a small bottle with his name on it.
I'll bring it.
My son, this is very dangerous.
The Ishmaelites are everywhere.
I've gotten that impression.
The general's made this room off-limits to military personnel.
Well, Mr.
West.
How did you know about this place? I just couldn't wait until tonight, so I followed you.
Do women always lead you into such mistakes? No, not as a rule.
But you're irresistible, and I just couldn't wait until dinner.
Too bad you won't live long enough to make it.
You know, it does puzzle me what a person like yourself sees in a man like Cullen Dane.
He's an easy man to admire, Mr.
West.
I like men with ambition.
I'm going to marry him.
Cullen Dane is going to be a great man.
And I want greatness.
By tomorrow morning your precious Grant will be dead, and Cullen's forces will be in control of California.
That, Mr.
West, is when Cullen Dane will rise above the wrong done him by Grant.
Your gun, Mr.
West.
You know, it's hard to believe that you'd love a murderer.
A man who would kill your president.
Do you love him? I never said I did.
I just said I was going to marry him.
This should be your most unforgettable performance.
What do you mean? Well, I'm sure that you wouldn't have led me on unless you'd signaled your men somehow.
Good night.
It may be a little shaken up.
Oh, here it is.
Bless you, my son.
Mr.
West? Welcome to Santa Paula.
You managed to arrive just in time for your execution.
Mr.
West, this is your schedule: You'll be taken by my men to the monastery burial ground, where you'll be given a military execution by rifle squad befitting your rank as a former major in the United States Army.
As long as you're being so formal about it, what about my court-martial trial? Of course.
But your court-martial will take place after your execution.
You see, there's a more important execution to be carried out.
You'll never get to the president.
Mr.
West, if I were a betting man- What is it? There's a Frenchman at the door.
He demands to see Brother Angelo.
Shall I throw him- No, no, no.
Bring him to my office.
Pardon me for a moment, major.
I'll be back with you shortly.
I tell you, I never heard of a monastery that has kept its doors closed to anyone.
And I am expected here, I tell you.
Good evening, my son.
What is the trouble? The trouble is that I have an appointment with the head abbot, Brother Angelo.
And these two are trying to prevent me to keep it with him.
Oh, I see.
Are you Brother Angelo? Yes, I am Brother Angelo.
Then I must tell you, I never expected to encounter this kind of treatment in your place.
You must forgive the brothers.
We have been bothered with thieves lately.
Oh.
You may leave, my Brothers.
Uh, won't you come and, uh, sit down? Uh, Merci.
Merci.
And, uh you, my son what is your name? Claude Ashir Raynard.
Oh, this is exasperating.
First you ask me to come here and help you- You are having trouble with your wine.
and then I come in, you cannot even remember my name.
Claude Raynard, of course.
How stupid of me.
Now, I have been giving much thought to the matter of the bitterness of your wine.
Why, surely, monsieur, you'll be more comfortable if we discuss this at your hotel.
Uh, the grapes are here, not at my hotel.
Now to begin with, it seems to me that the thing must be caused by one of two things.
Either the wood in the casks is still raw and has too much sap still in it, which mixes with the wine despite the charring.
Or, of course, it could be that the trouble is in the bitterness of the grape.
Ah, tomorrow I will take a look at both the barrel and the grape, and I can decide.
Tomorrow.
Fine.
Tomorrow.
Of course, the trouble could be that, uh, worms have gotten into the grapes.
Any time in the afternoon tomorrow you'll be free to inspect our vineyards.
Excellent.
No worm has ever been able to escape me in the daytime.
Fine, fine.
Let me show you to your room.
Oh, of course.
This way, monsieur.
Thank you.
The medicine helped.
Brother Thomas seems to be doing much better now.
What of you, Mr.
West? That Dane is an evil man.
He'll execute you as he said he would.
Oh, there's no doubt he'll try.
Unfortunately, I don't have anything with me to get us out of here.
Of course.
Of course? Of course what? Brother Thomas just had a relapse.
What? No, as a matter of fact he died.
You'd better sing a hymn for him.
Mr.
West.
Please do as I ask.
Cut out that noise down there.
I said cut it out.
Brother Thomas has died.
At least accord the poor soul a decent burial.
I ain't got no time for that.
In the name of heaven, be merciful.
You can spare us a few minutes.
There are several coffins in the sacristy.
Please! All right, all right.
But I don't wanna hear any more of that noise.
Just yell when you put him in there.
We'll come and get him.
Please, will you see to it that he's buried next to Brother Michael? It's just up the hill a bit.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Right up on the hill.
Thank you.
Let's go.
Mr.
West are you sure this will be all right? I don't know.
If I get out of this, I'll try and find a way to help you.
Bless you, my son.
Oh, come on, come on.
Let's go.
Get rid of that thing.
We're ready to pull out.
We're gonna bury it.
Well, never mind.
Just toss it in the furnace.
Let's go.
Hey Collins, give us a hand with the cannon carriage.
What? The general says we're using the Gatling gun tonight.
We better check on all of them in a hurry.
Yeah, you're right.
Let's get rid of this thing.
Okay.
Hey, you're not- Fire.
James.
Well, you'll be happy to learn that you haven't lost your delicate touch.
Uh, Artie, I didn't know it was you until I felt that phony mustache.
Yeah.
Do you remember Brigadier General, uh, Cullen Dane? Dane Dane Yeah Grant threw him out for selling army supplies.
Big scandal, wasn't it? That's right.
Well, he's got a pretty good schedule figured out for himself.
He's here to kill President Grant.
Then he plans to take over the world.
Wonder if this map I found has anything to do with it.
Artie, let me take it in the light.
Yeah.
See, the train goes through Mayoga Pass, to Denver.
President Grant's gonna be on that midnight train, Artie.
Look at all that artillery.
You know, these X's at Hawkins Ridge could be for gun emplacements.
The train wouldn't stand a chance, Artie.
And no way to stop it.
Come on.
Brandy alcohol, a pinch of gunpowder and Brother Thomas' medicine.
I'm sure the good brother won't mind I'm using his remedy as a kind of a slow-burning fuse for our bomb.
Artie, the brothers.
I forgot about them.
Stay here.
I'll try and aid them.
Check.
Listen, find a funnel while you're about it down there, will you? Right.
Find the funnel? No, but maybe this will do.
That's a Swiss Falcon 22.
Very chic little lady's weapon.
And very deadly, as you'll find out if you don't put your hands up.
Of course.
Be my pleasure.
Did I remember to tell you how marvelous I thought you were in "Our Country Cousins," Miss Dennison? Your performance as Althea was- Shut up.
What ever happened to your French accent? I knew there was something I'd overlooked.
I wouldn't pull that trigger if I were you, Miss Dennison.
Really? Why? Because this bottle is filled with high explosive.
You plug me, the bottle drops, it's curtains for the glorious Dennison.
Such a stupid bluff.
Oh, you're right.
It's not quite the final curtain.
But the flash fire that would result would certainly disfigure you for the rest of your life.
We've got a nice little pit the monks just vacated.
Maybe Marcia can occupy it for us.
Well, the gun emplacements have gotta be around here somewhere.
Yeah.
It's the only place where Hawkins Ridge is close enough to the railroad.
Sergeant, signal the others.
Four gun emplacements, Artie.
Why don't you take those two.
I'll get those two.
Right.
You got some traveling to do.
You better get started right now.
Let me ask you, after, uh, I put a match inside the bottle, how long before the explosion? Well, between Brother Thomas' medicine and the brandy, I'd say we should have five seconds.
At least, that's what I prayed for back at the monastery.
Well, listen, you wait for my noisemaker to go off and then, uh, join in the fun.
What if I don't hear yours? Well, then you'd better start without me.
Getting closer, general.
General Grant and his final destiny are rushing toward each other, And we'll be there at the final meeting.
Closer Closer Marcia Dennison was so sure he was going to be a big man.
No man's smaller than when he's dead.
So to tonight.
Mm.
Oh, what a difference, huh, Jim? Yeah.
Now that the brothers stopped sabotaging their own wine, it really is delicious.
Delicious? It's superb.
What bouquet.
What a beautiful color, huh? Beautiful balance.
You know, there's only one thing that's better than California's beautiful wine.
Mm-hmm.
Its beautiful women.
Oh, he says everything right.