Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s03e25 Episode Script
Dad's Dungeon
[ mouse squeaks.]
[ penguins chirp.]
[all cheering .]
[screeches.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human the fun will never end It's Adventure Time FINN: [ yawns.]
All right.
What do you want to see next? A cheetah! A fart! A cookie! An external hard drive! Oh, oh! Change into Finn but give him my body! Beemo, your ideas are boring.
What? Your head on my body isn't boring.
It's weird.
[giggles.]
All right, I'll try to turn into a cheetah farting.
Pbfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft! I can't do the spots.
[shimmering, rustling .]
Sparkles in the house? Let's squish 'em! [ both grunting .]
BOTH: Hyah! Did you squish the sparkles? No.
They were around this holo-message player.
It's got a cartridge with it.
Oh, snap! Well, plop that cartridge in the slot, playa! Yeah! Okay! [ power surges.]
[clears throat .]
Hello, boys.
[ coughing .]
BOTH: Dad! If you're hearing this pre-recorded hologram message, it's because I've passed on and my spirit sparkles guided you to its secret hiding place.
Right now, I'm holding both of you in my hands.
You're both still little, squishy babies.
[ squish!.]
FINN: [ crying .]
JAKE: [giggles .]
[ squish!.]
[ crying continues .]
I made you boys something.
It's a dungeon -- a proper dungeon full of evil monsters, traps, and magic -- the whole kazoo! - JAKE: Kickin'! - FINN: Whoa, kickin'! Now, this next part of the message is just for you, Jake, so, Finn, cover your ears.
Jake, really this dungeon is for Finn.
I wanna make something that'll force Finn to toughen up.
What? All right, tell Finn to uncover his ears now.
Dude, take your hands off your head.
What?! All right, boys, now, to give you some incentive, at the end of the dungeon, I'm putting the family sword.
It's made out of demon's blood.
[growls.]
- Whoa! What the? - Oh, dang! Give me back my blood, Joshua! Kee oth rama pancake! Aaaaaaaargh! - Whoa! - Geez Louise! DAD: The dungeon's 80 paces west of here under a dumb-looking rock.
And, Finn, this dungeon's gonna kick your tail.
I bet you won't even get past the first trial, you whiny baby.
What? What was that about? Uh I dunno.
Duhh.
Duhh.
Duhhh.
[laughs goofily.]
Whoo! Whoa! Burgers and hot dogs! Yeah, yeah, yeah! [ panting .]
- FINN: Wait, Jake! - But burgers and hot dogs.
Didn't you say you were hungry for burgers this morning? Yeah.
So? And I said I was hungry for hot dogs? Mm-hmm.
I remember.
I don't think those burgers and hot dogs are burgers and hot dogs at all.
Aaaaaaaaaaah Boom!! [speaking gibberish .]
Yaaaaaaah! Ew.
Duhhh.
Hyah! Ahhhh.
Dude! Look! Finn, cover up those nubs on your head.
[ clicks tongue.]
Man, again? All right, Jake, I wanna remind you what this dungeon's for.
In order for Finn to stop whining, he needs to be put through a trial that forces him to take charge of a situation.
But, Dad, Finn's already figured that out.
He's a good kid with a kind heart.
Remember, Jake, this is a pre-recorded holo-message.
I can't hear you if you're talking to me right now.
I'm gonna go walk around! Okay! Jake, I need your help.
You got to call Finn a whiny baby.
- But -- - Butts are for pooping.
Do it for Poppy.
Finn?! - Over here! Check it out, Jake.
I found two ways.
This way has some kind of flower trap, and that way has that guy.
None shall pa-a-a-a-ss! Ugh! Let's take the flower path.
Mm.
Wait! Why don't you want to take my path? Because you're super gross, man.
Oh.
[sighs heavily.]
Cheer up, man.
We're only telling you you're gross because we're your bros.
Really? Yeah.
Bros are real with each other.
And you're gross, brother.
Take a bath.
Thanks, brother.
[laughs.]
[ chuckles.]
No probs.
Hey, what did Dad say? Um He said he's surprised a whiny baby like you made it this far.
What? Why's Dad saying all that jive? Mrnh.
Jake, do it for Poppy! [sighs heavily.]
Because you cry like a baby, baby! Dude, you're picking on me, too? [women giggling .]
Whoa.
I don't even cry much.
I only cry when it's healthy, like when people die.
[seductively.]
Partake of the fruit.
Pfth! Blech! Ugh.
If I didn't cry when people died, I'd have a cold butt for a heart.
[singsong voice.]
The fru-u--u-it.
"Waaaah! I cry when people die! Waaaah! I'm Finn!" Partake of the fruit.
Maybe I will partake of the fruit! WOMEN: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, fruit! - Dude, don't eat that! - Why not? All the people that I care about in this world are being wads.
- Ohh Don't you blow Poppy's cover! [distorted voice.]
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! Whoa.
[ both laughing evilly.]
Time to go, baby.
Finn, come on! I'm gonna hang here with these fruit babes.
They'll be my best buds now.
[growls.]
Yah! [ pants.]
[ both screeching .]
[ farts.]
[gas hissing .]
[ both screaming .]
JAKE: There's another cartridge! Pbffffffffffffffffffft! All right, man, Dad told me not to tell you this, but -- Don't tell him! You're not real.
[smooch! .]
Dad asked me to call you "baby" 'cause he wants you to be tough.
But I'm tough! My whole body is a callus! Ugh.
On this next holo-message we listen to, when Dad tells you to cover your ears don't.
Hmph.
Hey, hey! Finn! Jake! You made it past the fruit witches.
Hey, did they make you cry, Finn, huh? Huh? [laughs.]
I bet they did.
All right.
Now cover your ears, Sue.
Jake, I'm almost done with this dungeon.
I just have one last monster to fit into this pit I dug.
I got him tied up in this room I'm building.
It's really hard trying to fit him in this pit.
He's pretty evil.
[chuckles.]
You're gonna have a crazy time trying to defeat -- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! BOTH: Dad! Dad's sword! Hey, Jake, when Finn finishes this dungeon, play this tape for him.
Finn - Ugh! this pre-recorded holo-message [ chuckles.]
[laughing maniacally.]
Finn! Oof! [laughing continues.]
Dude! Use your karate biz! Ugh.
I -- oof! I can't, man! I suck! I'm a whiny baby, and I'm fat and all those things Dad said about me! Dude! Dad loves you! Ugh! [laughing maniacally.]
Finn, if you're seeing this pre-recorded holo-message, it's because you've finished the dungeon that I made.
I'm proud of you.
You're gonna do great things in this world.
I love you, son.
[grunts.]
[laughs maniacally.]
[ message rewinds.]
[ beatboxing .]
Yo, Finn -- I'm proud -- I love you -- you -- you, son FINN: Yah! Hunh! Hyah! DAD: Yo, Finn -- I made -- this message -- for you [ beatboxing continues.]
For you -- for you The dungeon -- for you -- This world -- for you -- This message -- it's -- for you -- Finn -- You're gonna do great --great --great -- You're gonna do great things -- things -- You're gonna do great --great --great -- [ beatboxing, rewinding stop.]
Duhh.
DAD: I made you boys something.
It's -- babies -- full of -- babies.
[ message rewinding .]
The family sword -- It's made out of -- babies.
You know I don't think you're a baby, right? Yeah, I know.
That sword is sweet.
Yeah.
I'm stoked to slay some evil with it.
Joshua, return my blood to me, or, by demon's law, I will cut off your love handles! Joshua! We go way back! Come on! Just give me back my blood! Kee oth rama pancake! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! FINN: Man, Dad was cool.
JAKE: Yeah.
[ both laugh .]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest and do so as we please Come along with me to a cliff under a tree
[ penguins chirp.]
[all cheering .]
[screeches.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human the fun will never end It's Adventure Time FINN: [ yawns.]
All right.
What do you want to see next? A cheetah! A fart! A cookie! An external hard drive! Oh, oh! Change into Finn but give him my body! Beemo, your ideas are boring.
What? Your head on my body isn't boring.
It's weird.
[giggles.]
All right, I'll try to turn into a cheetah farting.
Pbfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft! I can't do the spots.
[shimmering, rustling .]
Sparkles in the house? Let's squish 'em! [ both grunting .]
BOTH: Hyah! Did you squish the sparkles? No.
They were around this holo-message player.
It's got a cartridge with it.
Oh, snap! Well, plop that cartridge in the slot, playa! Yeah! Okay! [ power surges.]
[clears throat .]
Hello, boys.
[ coughing .]
BOTH: Dad! If you're hearing this pre-recorded hologram message, it's because I've passed on and my spirit sparkles guided you to its secret hiding place.
Right now, I'm holding both of you in my hands.
You're both still little, squishy babies.
[ squish!.]
FINN: [ crying .]
JAKE: [giggles .]
[ squish!.]
[ crying continues .]
I made you boys something.
It's a dungeon -- a proper dungeon full of evil monsters, traps, and magic -- the whole kazoo! - JAKE: Kickin'! - FINN: Whoa, kickin'! Now, this next part of the message is just for you, Jake, so, Finn, cover your ears.
Jake, really this dungeon is for Finn.
I wanna make something that'll force Finn to toughen up.
What? All right, tell Finn to uncover his ears now.
Dude, take your hands off your head.
What?! All right, boys, now, to give you some incentive, at the end of the dungeon, I'm putting the family sword.
It's made out of demon's blood.
[growls.]
- Whoa! What the? - Oh, dang! Give me back my blood, Joshua! Kee oth rama pancake! Aaaaaaaargh! - Whoa! - Geez Louise! DAD: The dungeon's 80 paces west of here under a dumb-looking rock.
And, Finn, this dungeon's gonna kick your tail.
I bet you won't even get past the first trial, you whiny baby.
What? What was that about? Uh I dunno.
Duhh.
Duhh.
Duhhh.
[laughs goofily.]
Whoo! Whoa! Burgers and hot dogs! Yeah, yeah, yeah! [ panting .]
- FINN: Wait, Jake! - But burgers and hot dogs.
Didn't you say you were hungry for burgers this morning? Yeah.
So? And I said I was hungry for hot dogs? Mm-hmm.
I remember.
I don't think those burgers and hot dogs are burgers and hot dogs at all.
Aaaaaaaaaaah Boom!! [speaking gibberish .]
Yaaaaaaah! Ew.
Duhhh.
Hyah! Ahhhh.
Dude! Look! Finn, cover up those nubs on your head.
[ clicks tongue.]
Man, again? All right, Jake, I wanna remind you what this dungeon's for.
In order for Finn to stop whining, he needs to be put through a trial that forces him to take charge of a situation.
But, Dad, Finn's already figured that out.
He's a good kid with a kind heart.
Remember, Jake, this is a pre-recorded holo-message.
I can't hear you if you're talking to me right now.
I'm gonna go walk around! Okay! Jake, I need your help.
You got to call Finn a whiny baby.
- But -- - Butts are for pooping.
Do it for Poppy.
Finn?! - Over here! Check it out, Jake.
I found two ways.
This way has some kind of flower trap, and that way has that guy.
None shall pa-a-a-a-ss! Ugh! Let's take the flower path.
Mm.
Wait! Why don't you want to take my path? Because you're super gross, man.
Oh.
[sighs heavily.]
Cheer up, man.
We're only telling you you're gross because we're your bros.
Really? Yeah.
Bros are real with each other.
And you're gross, brother.
Take a bath.
Thanks, brother.
[laughs.]
[ chuckles.]
No probs.
Hey, what did Dad say? Um He said he's surprised a whiny baby like you made it this far.
What? Why's Dad saying all that jive? Mrnh.
Jake, do it for Poppy! [sighs heavily.]
Because you cry like a baby, baby! Dude, you're picking on me, too? [women giggling .]
Whoa.
I don't even cry much.
I only cry when it's healthy, like when people die.
[seductively.]
Partake of the fruit.
Pfth! Blech! Ugh.
If I didn't cry when people died, I'd have a cold butt for a heart.
[singsong voice.]
The fru-u--u-it.
"Waaaah! I cry when people die! Waaaah! I'm Finn!" Partake of the fruit.
Maybe I will partake of the fruit! WOMEN: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, fruit! - Dude, don't eat that! - Why not? All the people that I care about in this world are being wads.
- Ohh Don't you blow Poppy's cover! [distorted voice.]
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! Whoa.
[ both laughing evilly.]
Time to go, baby.
Finn, come on! I'm gonna hang here with these fruit babes.
They'll be my best buds now.
[growls.]
Yah! [ pants.]
[ both screeching .]
[ farts.]
[gas hissing .]
[ both screaming .]
JAKE: There's another cartridge! Pbffffffffffffffffffft! All right, man, Dad told me not to tell you this, but -- Don't tell him! You're not real.
[smooch! .]
Dad asked me to call you "baby" 'cause he wants you to be tough.
But I'm tough! My whole body is a callus! Ugh.
On this next holo-message we listen to, when Dad tells you to cover your ears don't.
Hmph.
Hey, hey! Finn! Jake! You made it past the fruit witches.
Hey, did they make you cry, Finn, huh? Huh? [laughs.]
I bet they did.
All right.
Now cover your ears, Sue.
Jake, I'm almost done with this dungeon.
I just have one last monster to fit into this pit I dug.
I got him tied up in this room I'm building.
It's really hard trying to fit him in this pit.
He's pretty evil.
[chuckles.]
You're gonna have a crazy time trying to defeat -- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! BOTH: Dad! Dad's sword! Hey, Jake, when Finn finishes this dungeon, play this tape for him.
Finn - Ugh! this pre-recorded holo-message [ chuckles.]
[laughing maniacally.]
Finn! Oof! [laughing continues.]
Dude! Use your karate biz! Ugh.
I -- oof! I can't, man! I suck! I'm a whiny baby, and I'm fat and all those things Dad said about me! Dude! Dad loves you! Ugh! [laughing maniacally.]
Finn, if you're seeing this pre-recorded holo-message, it's because you've finished the dungeon that I made.
I'm proud of you.
You're gonna do great things in this world.
I love you, son.
[grunts.]
[laughs maniacally.]
[ message rewinds.]
[ beatboxing .]
Yo, Finn -- I'm proud -- I love you -- you -- you, son FINN: Yah! Hunh! Hyah! DAD: Yo, Finn -- I made -- this message -- for you [ beatboxing continues.]
For you -- for you The dungeon -- for you -- This world -- for you -- This message -- it's -- for you -- Finn -- You're gonna do great --great --great -- You're gonna do great things -- things -- You're gonna do great --great --great -- [ beatboxing, rewinding stop.]
Duhh.
DAD: I made you boys something.
It's -- babies -- full of -- babies.
[ message rewinding .]
The family sword -- It's made out of -- babies.
You know I don't think you're a baby, right? Yeah, I know.
That sword is sweet.
Yeah.
I'm stoked to slay some evil with it.
Joshua, return my blood to me, or, by demon's law, I will cut off your love handles! Joshua! We go way back! Come on! Just give me back my blood! Kee oth rama pancake! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! FINN: Man, Dad was cool.
JAKE: Yeah.
[ both laugh .]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest and do so as we please Come along with me to a cliff under a tree