Phineas and Ferb s03e25 Episode Script
Lotsa Latkes (15 min)
Thanks for helping me set up for the Latke Festival this year, guys! It'll really go a long way toward helping me get that Golden Years Assistant patch.
Hi, Nana Shapiro.
Can't wait for the latkes, darling.
Nobody's had a bite to eat all day! We can start cooking as soon as Baljeet gets back with the potatoes.
No! No, you cannot! We looked all over the place, but there are no potatoes in the entire Tri-State Area! And I'm down to my last potato chip! Better make this bad boy last What am I going to do? Have you ever seen senior citizens riot? It's like a slow gray tornado of canes and false teeth! Buford, let me see that potato chip.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna use the DNA in this potato chip to clone our own potatoes! Hey, where's Perry? Good morning, Agent P! We recently learned that Doofenshmirtz has fallen behind on his electrical bills.
This seems odd considering his generous alimony package.
His ex-wife, Charlene, is loaded! And, I might add, quite a handsome woman.
No, notâ Not that I've given that a great deal of thought.
Investigate at once.
Monogram out! Summer is boring! I am so-oh-oh-oh bored Why don't you call Jeremy? He's working.
What about Stacy? Grounded.
Jenny? Protesting.
What about busting your brothers? Well, it's nice of you to take an interest, but they're not even in the backyard.
Well, you can't sit inside on a gorgeous day like today.
So, Missy, grab that pink bike! We're gonna get out and about! I don't think so.
Oh, come on.
It'll be fun.
Whoo-hoo, hooray.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! So, Perry the Platypus, do you like your trap? It's called the stocks! I read about it in this book, Ten Greatest Historical Traps of All Time.
Look, it's a pop-up! It also came with this bonus pamphlet, The Ten Greatest Historical Armies of All Time.
And according to this, the Spartan Army was fierce, unstoppable, and followed every order without hesitation.
Which is why I got this! Huh? It's a Spartan General costume.
Yeah, it must have been warmer in Ancient Greece.
Anyway, once the Spartan Army sees me in this, they'll obey my every command! And help me take over the Tri-State Area! And how will I acquire the Spartan Army, gone lo these many millennia? With my Historical-Army-Retrieve-inator! I-It's potato-powered because I spent this month's alimony check on my last Inator.
You remember that, the Made-of-Gold-inator.
And you know, I wore out three pairs of shoes buying up all these potatoes, but On the good side, it smells like French fries in here.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold the wonder that is the Spuds-a-lot! Buford, the potato sample.
Okay, Ferb.
Start her up.
It's working! Oh, thank goodness! Now I canâ Uh, Phineas Those potatoes have eyes.
All potatoes have eyes.
Yeah, but these eyes blink! Buford, you didn't put that chip in your mouth, did you? And if I did, would that be actionable? I think the DNA from Buford's saliva must have combined with the potato's DNA to make some sort of Buford potato hybrid! Let's get outta here! Oh, look at the little guys, they're like little bullies! I am both proud and ready to soil my pants in terror.
I like my tacos spicy.
We should probably do something about them before they do, um, whatever mutant Buford potatoes would do.
But what about the party? Right! Baljeet, you and Buford go stall the seniors while the rest of us simultaneously round up the spud spawn.
Hey, wait.
Ferb, isn't "simultaneously" on our list of S-words seldom used by kids? Awesome! See? Isn't this fun? Thrilling.
What? Mom! Look! Potato, uh gremlins! And Phineas and Ferb! Potato gremlins? Candace, are you okay? Never better.
Come on, Mom, let's step it up! I'm glad you're finally getting in the spirit.
And now, to summon the Spartan Army! Ooh! Here they come! Here they come! They're coming! Huh? Whatâ Wait, whatâ A Mongol army? Really? Huh, I must have had the dial set for "Hun".
Oh, well, you don't look a gift horde in the mouth, so Hello! H-Hi, there.
Me, yeah.
Welcome to the future, my ruthless Mongol Army.
I realize you can't understand what I'm saying, and you're probably confused a bit by the Spartan General's uniform, uh But together, we will rule the Tri-State Areaâ Hey, what are youâ Oh, you're hungry! I-I guess it has been 1,200 years since you've eaten.
Well, I suppose we could call outâ Oh, you ruined my helmet.
Now I've gotta get a new costumâ Wait a second, that's it! I'm in the wrong outfit! All I have to do is hit the costume shop, then round up my Mongols, and the Tri-State Area will be mine! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! Where's my nosh? We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! I don't have to put up with this.
I'm part of the greatest generation! Buford, what are we going to do? Phineas wants us to stall.
We gotta think of something! Uh Wait a minute.
I got an idea.
Hello, folks! I'm Mr.
Sock! Hey! Who turned out the lights? Thanks! You stink! Well, that wasn't very nice! Technically, we are socks.
Hey, Mr.
Other Sock! What are you doing here? Just looking! For what? My sole mate! You both stink! I think we have to take it up a notch.
(Song: Frenemies) We look good in hats Long tails and spats When we hit the town together, baby, we know where it's ats You are pluralizing "at"? Work with me, brain boy.
Well, this is a mess.
How are we going to round them all up? Yes! If we reverse the backup engine on the Spuds-a-lot and attach those hoses, we can suck the potatoes into that soothing hot tub we built into the bulkhead.
Hot tub? Why on earth would you build a hot tub on this thing? I'd like to think the real question is why wouldn't we? Time to round up some spuds! If I were dangling from a ledge He'd surely save me with a wedgie I'm smart, perhaps a bit refined And I'm a bit more edgy 'Cause we're frenemies We like disliking one another Yes, we're frenemies He's like my least favorite brother Uh-oh! I like my tacos spicy! Pull up alongside! I got three more.
How're we doing? Cannonball! It's working! Yee-haw! Spicy.
French fry! Spicy! French fry! Spicy! Wow, Buford had Mongolian barbecue for breakfast? I don't think those are ours.
Costume shop! Follow that horde! Ha-ha! We've finally caught up to 'em! Mom, keep up! WaitupCandace.
WaitupCandace.
WaitupCandace.
But they're right around the corner! I'm notas youngas I used to be! I'm notas youngas I used to be! I'm notas youngas I used to be! Fine! Whoa! "I'm not as young as I used to be.
" Whoaa! One Genghis Khan costume.
Will that be cash or credit? I'm kind of low on funds right now.
Do you take potatoes in trade? I like complex calculations I like physical confrontations We both have our roles This is a symbiotic relationship This is a symbiotic relationship 'Cause we're frenemies We like disliking one another Yes, we're frenemies He's like my least favorite brother You and I, we're not enemies or friends We're just frenemies to the end! Stop! My brothers! Andothers.
Andothers.
Uh, gaze at last, upon my appropriately Mongolian military regalia.
And know that you must now obey my every command! Oh, no! The Latke Festival is ruined.
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Potato gremlins! Andothers! Andothers! Look! I'm trying, honey! These classifieds just go on and on.
Now, we can rule the Tri-State Aâ Ooh, coupon! Now, what am I looking at? Butbutbut Butbutbut Butbutbut I think you had enough fun for today.
Noo!!! Oh, Nana, I'm sorry we ruined the festival.
Ruined? Ha! That was the best time we've had since they cancelled Three-Bean-Salad Tuesdays.
The floor show was fantastic! Really? The ending was a bit out there, but trust me, they had us at sock puppets! Form a line, people.
Form a line.
Well, it's too bad we couldn't get the potatoes for the latkes.
But I'd say everything worked out fine.
What's Perry doing in a pillory? Actually, those are stocks.
A pillory forces the wearer to remain upright, exposing them to poking and prodding from passers-by.
Wow.
I'd expect that kind of esoteric knowledge to come from someone a little older, 50 or 60.
Or perhaps, a septuagenarian.
This is it.
No one has seen this for a thousand years.
The legend tells of an epic battle between the Mongol Army and potato gremlin creatures, while a, uhpharmacist from the future worked in vain to return to his time, crying out while a, uhpharmacist from the future worked in vain to return to his time, crying out "Curse you, Perry the Platypus"? I swear! I majored in this in college.
Hi, Nana Shapiro.
Can't wait for the latkes, darling.
Nobody's had a bite to eat all day! We can start cooking as soon as Baljeet gets back with the potatoes.
No! No, you cannot! We looked all over the place, but there are no potatoes in the entire Tri-State Area! And I'm down to my last potato chip! Better make this bad boy last What am I going to do? Have you ever seen senior citizens riot? It's like a slow gray tornado of canes and false teeth! Buford, let me see that potato chip.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna use the DNA in this potato chip to clone our own potatoes! Hey, where's Perry? Good morning, Agent P! We recently learned that Doofenshmirtz has fallen behind on his electrical bills.
This seems odd considering his generous alimony package.
His ex-wife, Charlene, is loaded! And, I might add, quite a handsome woman.
No, notâ Not that I've given that a great deal of thought.
Investigate at once.
Monogram out! Summer is boring! I am so-oh-oh-oh bored Why don't you call Jeremy? He's working.
What about Stacy? Grounded.
Jenny? Protesting.
What about busting your brothers? Well, it's nice of you to take an interest, but they're not even in the backyard.
Well, you can't sit inside on a gorgeous day like today.
So, Missy, grab that pink bike! We're gonna get out and about! I don't think so.
Oh, come on.
It'll be fun.
Whoo-hoo, hooray.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! So, Perry the Platypus, do you like your trap? It's called the stocks! I read about it in this book, Ten Greatest Historical Traps of All Time.
Look, it's a pop-up! It also came with this bonus pamphlet, The Ten Greatest Historical Armies of All Time.
And according to this, the Spartan Army was fierce, unstoppable, and followed every order without hesitation.
Which is why I got this! Huh? It's a Spartan General costume.
Yeah, it must have been warmer in Ancient Greece.
Anyway, once the Spartan Army sees me in this, they'll obey my every command! And help me take over the Tri-State Area! And how will I acquire the Spartan Army, gone lo these many millennia? With my Historical-Army-Retrieve-inator! I-It's potato-powered because I spent this month's alimony check on my last Inator.
You remember that, the Made-of-Gold-inator.
And you know, I wore out three pairs of shoes buying up all these potatoes, but On the good side, it smells like French fries in here.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold the wonder that is the Spuds-a-lot! Buford, the potato sample.
Okay, Ferb.
Start her up.
It's working! Oh, thank goodness! Now I canâ Uh, Phineas Those potatoes have eyes.
All potatoes have eyes.
Yeah, but these eyes blink! Buford, you didn't put that chip in your mouth, did you? And if I did, would that be actionable? I think the DNA from Buford's saliva must have combined with the potato's DNA to make some sort of Buford potato hybrid! Let's get outta here! Oh, look at the little guys, they're like little bullies! I am both proud and ready to soil my pants in terror.
I like my tacos spicy.
We should probably do something about them before they do, um, whatever mutant Buford potatoes would do.
But what about the party? Right! Baljeet, you and Buford go stall the seniors while the rest of us simultaneously round up the spud spawn.
Hey, wait.
Ferb, isn't "simultaneously" on our list of S-words seldom used by kids? Awesome! See? Isn't this fun? Thrilling.
What? Mom! Look! Potato, uh gremlins! And Phineas and Ferb! Potato gremlins? Candace, are you okay? Never better.
Come on, Mom, let's step it up! I'm glad you're finally getting in the spirit.
And now, to summon the Spartan Army! Ooh! Here they come! Here they come! They're coming! Huh? Whatâ Wait, whatâ A Mongol army? Really? Huh, I must have had the dial set for "Hun".
Oh, well, you don't look a gift horde in the mouth, so Hello! H-Hi, there.
Me, yeah.
Welcome to the future, my ruthless Mongol Army.
I realize you can't understand what I'm saying, and you're probably confused a bit by the Spartan General's uniform, uh But together, we will rule the Tri-State Areaâ Hey, what are youâ Oh, you're hungry! I-I guess it has been 1,200 years since you've eaten.
Well, I suppose we could call outâ Oh, you ruined my helmet.
Now I've gotta get a new costumâ Wait a second, that's it! I'm in the wrong outfit! All I have to do is hit the costume shop, then round up my Mongols, and the Tri-State Area will be mine! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! Where's my nosh? We want latkes! We want latkes! We want latkes! I don't have to put up with this.
I'm part of the greatest generation! Buford, what are we going to do? Phineas wants us to stall.
We gotta think of something! Uh Wait a minute.
I got an idea.
Hello, folks! I'm Mr.
Sock! Hey! Who turned out the lights? Thanks! You stink! Well, that wasn't very nice! Technically, we are socks.
Hey, Mr.
Other Sock! What are you doing here? Just looking! For what? My sole mate! You both stink! I think we have to take it up a notch.
(Song: Frenemies) We look good in hats Long tails and spats When we hit the town together, baby, we know where it's ats You are pluralizing "at"? Work with me, brain boy.
Well, this is a mess.
How are we going to round them all up? Yes! If we reverse the backup engine on the Spuds-a-lot and attach those hoses, we can suck the potatoes into that soothing hot tub we built into the bulkhead.
Hot tub? Why on earth would you build a hot tub on this thing? I'd like to think the real question is why wouldn't we? Time to round up some spuds! If I were dangling from a ledge He'd surely save me with a wedgie I'm smart, perhaps a bit refined And I'm a bit more edgy 'Cause we're frenemies We like disliking one another Yes, we're frenemies He's like my least favorite brother Uh-oh! I like my tacos spicy! Pull up alongside! I got three more.
How're we doing? Cannonball! It's working! Yee-haw! Spicy.
French fry! Spicy! French fry! Spicy! Wow, Buford had Mongolian barbecue for breakfast? I don't think those are ours.
Costume shop! Follow that horde! Ha-ha! We've finally caught up to 'em! Mom, keep up! WaitupCandace.
WaitupCandace.
WaitupCandace.
But they're right around the corner! I'm notas youngas I used to be! I'm notas youngas I used to be! I'm notas youngas I used to be! Fine! Whoa! "I'm not as young as I used to be.
" Whoaa! One Genghis Khan costume.
Will that be cash or credit? I'm kind of low on funds right now.
Do you take potatoes in trade? I like complex calculations I like physical confrontations We both have our roles This is a symbiotic relationship This is a symbiotic relationship 'Cause we're frenemies We like disliking one another Yes, we're frenemies He's like my least favorite brother You and I, we're not enemies or friends We're just frenemies to the end! Stop! My brothers! Andothers.
Andothers.
Uh, gaze at last, upon my appropriately Mongolian military regalia.
And know that you must now obey my every command! Oh, no! The Latke Festival is ruined.
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Potato gremlins! Andothers! Andothers! Look! I'm trying, honey! These classifieds just go on and on.
Now, we can rule the Tri-State Aâ Ooh, coupon! Now, what am I looking at? Butbutbut Butbutbut Butbutbut I think you had enough fun for today.
Noo!!! Oh, Nana, I'm sorry we ruined the festival.
Ruined? Ha! That was the best time we've had since they cancelled Three-Bean-Salad Tuesdays.
The floor show was fantastic! Really? The ending was a bit out there, but trust me, they had us at sock puppets! Form a line, people.
Form a line.
Well, it's too bad we couldn't get the potatoes for the latkes.
But I'd say everything worked out fine.
What's Perry doing in a pillory? Actually, those are stocks.
A pillory forces the wearer to remain upright, exposing them to poking and prodding from passers-by.
Wow.
I'd expect that kind of esoteric knowledge to come from someone a little older, 50 or 60.
Or perhaps, a septuagenarian.
This is it.
No one has seen this for a thousand years.
The legend tells of an epic battle between the Mongol Army and potato gremlin creatures, while a, uhpharmacist from the future worked in vain to return to his time, crying out while a, uhpharmacist from the future worked in vain to return to his time, crying out "Curse you, Perry the Platypus"? I swear! I majored in this in college.