Scorpion (2014) s03e25 Episode Script
Scorp Family Robinson
1 WALTER: Previously on Scorpion (Happy gasps) I know this is not a good time, but we have a case.
The government of French Polynesia needs help setting up their underwater wave-powered generators.
They're willing to fly us to Tahiti.
(plane rattling) We've lost power.
Buckle up and brace yourselves; we're going down! SYLVESTER: If rescuers don't find us, we don't find a fresh water source, we'll be dead in three days.
You know, my wife is due in three weeks.
I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.
Portugal? You didn't know Happy used to live there? Oh, me neither.
I only learned the language so I could record my single.
Hey, Walt, have you seen Sly? He's still in the bunker.
And I think he's kind of losing his mind.
What's that, Mitchell? We can't eat Cabe.
That'd be crazy.
SYLVESTER: I write this journal in hopes someone learns of our fate, because I believe the tale will never be told by any of us.
You might think that crashing onto a deserted island would cause despondency and panic.
But the truth is, early on, things were far from bleak.
CABE: Ugh, this is gonna take forever.
We do not have forever.
We got two days worth of bottled water, one soda and no options.
We need water.
It'll make our march to the grave less painful.
You've become a real ray of sunshine, you know that? CABE: I still don't know how this contraption's gonna work.
WALTER: It's simple science.
The wind will cause this turbine from the plane to spin, pushing air down into the hole that you're digging.
HAPPY: We'll put in a reservoir made from fuselage plastics that we melt and shape.
As the air cools underground, we get condensation.
The reservoir fills up with water that we then pump up through the oxygen mask tubes.
Uh, hey, man, don't look at me.
The only two people I understand on this island are you and Paige.
We're basically just making water out of thin air.
Oh, is that it? Okay, well, here's the first aid kit that you wanted.
And, you guys, I would love to help out with the physical labor, but Uh, uh-- you just rest.
Ah, here we go.
20 milliliter and 30 milliliter plastic syringes, perfect for homemade hand pumps.
And with the humidity of the region, we should be able to get up to 13 gallons per day.
With you guys, I have no reason not to believe it.
Let's get this done.
SYLVESTER: Despite the obstacles, there was optimism.
Cleaner than L.
A.
tap water.
Try it.
(laughs softly) It's amazing.
You are amazing.
CABE: Uh Some of us dug, you know.
And designed the pump.
Well, I am sure you all worked up an appetite.
I've got fresh coconut meat and catch of the day.
TOBY: It's good brain food.
Omega-3s.
Yeah, made with fresh sea salt and coconut oil.
I can't tell you how much we all appreciate this.
Well, I couldn't have done it without the fishing rods you made.
Oh, well, that's one of the benefits of growing up broke in Biloxi.
Aw, thank you.
If you want fish, you got to make your own rod.
Paige, may I have a squeeze of lime in my water? Of course.
My inevitable scurvy thanks you.
Be positive.
I am.
Positive we're all gonna die.
SYLVESTER: Despite my conviction, everyone tried to contribute to the cause.
Toby provided medical care.
Well, wound's fresh, but it's healing nicely.
Nurse, aloe? Keep putting this on, three times a day, and no strenuous activity.
Come on.
I feel like I got to earn my keep.
You earned it when you landed a plane that was running on a sports drink.
(chuckles) You know, it's just, uh my baby must've been born by now.
Not being there for him or her, like my father wasn't there for me, is something I swore I'd never let happen to my child.
I just want to feel useful to someone.
It's not your fault.
CABE: Doc! Physics class is over.
It's time for Ralph's botany lesson.
TOBY: Keep resting.
Chin up, okay? Got to go.
SYLVESTER: Though in vain, I am proud of the efforts my friends all made.
Ralph's education continued unabated.
Some tried to maintain a sense of routine.
Smooth as a beauty queen's legs.
This aloe can do it all.
I still don't get why you and Walt insist on shaving.
What, you got a big job interview coming up? Eh, you can make fun.
But the more we cling to civilization, the more likely we are to remain civilized.
SYLVESTER: Though remaining civilized was the goal (grunts) some still indulged their animal instincts.
No privacy on this damn island.
Can't believe we're finally getting a minute alone.
A minute's all I need.
RALPH: Hey, guys, what are you doing? CABE: Sorry about that.
We're just looking to grab a couple coconuts.
Me, too.
(bird squawks) I hate it here.
SYLVESTER: Every effort was made to get off this isle.
It doesn't look airworthy.
Well, the plane's blankets are a cheap polyester blend, big enough to cover the bamboo frame, and light enough to rise from the hot air.
Now, I have taped a note inside with our exact coordinates.
It's a low probability, but I believe it has a shot.
Pass me that.
Great.
Yeah.
Amazing.
SYLVESTER: Every mode of transportation was explored.
Does not look seaworthy.
Ah, that's just 'cause you're a perfectionist engineer.
We don't need to win a regatta, we just got to get out over those breakers into the shipping lanes so we can intercept passing vessels, and then we'll be spotted.
(imitates pirate): Argh, a fine vessel she'll be.
Oh, crap.
SYLVESTER: The repeated failures started taking its toll on morale.
Hey.
I ever tell you guys about the time I flew in a hail storm off the coast of Maine, no radar? Twice.
Well, I guess I have no more interesting stories to tell, then.
Did I miss the interesting ones? That was uncalled for.
Sorry, Scotty, I'm just tired and grumpy.
And a little cold.
Oh? Your man burnt up your blankets.
As opposed to them getting waterlogged on your raft? At least my misstep didn't result in important resources burning up.
Misstep? Is that a euphemism for abject failure? Whatever.
This is our snuggle party and you're not invited.
Speaking of snuggling, are we ever gonna get some time alone? Sadly, I doubt it.
Hey, this group togetherness is great and all, but we're newlyweds.
Two's company, eight's a crowd.
I know, but what can we do? SYLVESTER: And it was the most basic human need that eventually led to the destruction of our island paradise-- food.
Oh, wow.
Fuselage filet.
This is my favorite.
You have a complaint? No.
I just really hope this is made with coconut oil and sea salt.
That'd be such a wonderful surprise.
Paige, could I have a squeeze of lime in my HAPPY: You've been a bit of a jerk lately, you know that? Just been eating the same thing for the past What the hell? Why are you wearing that? Time to deliver presents.
My clothes are soaked in saltwater.
That was supposed to be for our honeymoon.
We are on our honeymoon.
That was meant for our alone time.
You want alone time? You got it.
SYLVESTER: If, in addition to this journal, you've found a small skeleton in an elf costume, you now know why.
After the dinner incident, things just got more tense.
But some desperately held onto hope.
(sighs) (birds squawking) For that bottle to reach Allie, it would have to get down to the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, get swept up into the Benguela, caught in the South Equatorial stream, switch to the North stream, somehow find its way to the Gulf Stream and hope that some Florida fisherman found it and mailed it to her.
And if I know my Florida fishermen, he'd probably just keep it.
Sly, I've been meaning to tell you something.
Yes? You suck.
You're a downer, and everyone's sick of you.
I don't disagree.
I think I'll start spending more of my time in the bunker.
Don't forget to write.
Sure.
I'll put it in a bottle.
You'll get it a week from never.
SYLVESTER: I admit I was being contentious, but I knew to distance myself.
Others who remained in the group broke from societal norms.
Paige, I'm thinking the rules of civilization are beginning to break down.
You're telling me.
(loincloth flapping) What, the loincloth? Oh, come on, it's a deserted island, comfort's king.
Well, leg down, your highness.
I can see the crown jewels.
Oh.
Look, my point is, as society regresses, the populace reverts to the law of Neanderthals.
That means that Scotty or Cabe will soon try to assert dominance.
And with Scotty's injury and Cabe's advanced age, I do not know how that's gonna play out.
You don't say? I do say.
You know, I'm gonna go talk to Walter.
That makes a lot of sense.
Toby is making absolutely no sense.
He thinks Scotty and Cabe are gonna battle it out for some type of supremacy on the island.
Sly is hiding in a bunker, Happy is running around like an elf.
People are cracking, Walter, and you need to do something about it.
What can I do? Forget about everything I ever taught you, about sensitivity, feelings.
Let your EQ drop to zero and take charge, piss everyone off.
Call them stupid; whatever's necessary to get everyone's head in the game and working on legitimate ways to get off this island.
Have you seen the size of those damn jungle parrots? They are drawn to Ralph, and I am not gonna let some neon bird eat my son.
That's it.
That's the solution.
Parrots? No, being drawn to something, like magnets.
I can get us home.
A giant magnet? WALTER: Yes.
If we build one big enough, it can create a tiny disturbance in the Earth's magnetic field, which is only a millionth of a Tesla.
Now, a variation in that magnetic field will be noticeable.
By whom? There are 140 research stations around the world that constantly monitor the Earth's magnetic field: government agencies, universities.
Now, a giant magnet can create a tiny disturbance in the Earth's magnetic field; it will be detected by one of those stations and they will send a research plane to investigate.
How long will it take to build? CABE: If it's longer than a few days, it'll take us into monsoon season.
Spent a lot of time in the Pacific with the Corps.
Some brutal storms headed our way.
TOBY: When that happens, the fish are gonna migrate to deeper waters and they will be harder to catch.
Not to mention, this island is almost out of coconuts.
WALTER: Which is why it's now or never.
We need to get to work on that magnet immediately.
No, that's why we need to build a raft, get into the shipping lanes and intercept passing vessels.
Going onto the high seas with one of your crappy rafts is suicide.
Starving to death is suicide, and I am making good progress with my raft.
Not to mention, I have the world's smartest engineer helping me build the âGuaranteed Success 5.
â No you won't; I'm with Walt.
His plan could work.
What kind of wife are you? The kind that wants to live.
WALTER: That's excellent.
Now, Happy can help Cabe locate the iron Yeah, I'm, uh I'm gonna go with Toby.
He could use someone with a nautical background.
That's where I could be of most help.
WALTER: Fine.
Don't want your assistance.
Happy and Paige can work together.
Not if I'm working on the raft.
What? If you take the time to build the magnet and fail, then we'll be stuck in the middle of monsoon season.
And then, getting on that raft won't be an option.
And then, we'll starve.
Traitor.
Excuse me? Turncoat.
Recreant.
(gasps) SCOTTY: Walt, listen, with my injuries, I won't be too much help in the open ocean, so, uh I'll help you with the magnet, okay? Sorry, Toby.
Big deal, barely know you.
Okay, so I suggest that we move to higher ground where we'll build our device.
The cave over the ridge should make a good home.
Let's go, yeah? A few weeks into marriage and we're already separating.
Thank you, Walter.
SYLVESTER: And so, Scorpion is a team divided.
The stress is palpable.
The only way I've been able to remotely keep my sanity is by writing in this journ Son of a Scorpion 3x25 Maroon 8 Home sweet home.
I guess we should set up shop.
Later.
I want us focused on nothing but the magnet for now.
Okay, so, we will need iron, copper wire and electricity.
Iron should not be difficult.
The island is volcanic, so it has an iron magma core.
Those big rock spires on the north side of the jungle are cooled magma, pure iron.
Smart.
So we will need to wrap the copper wire around one of those spires.
SCOTTY: Okay, where are we gonna get copper wire from in the middle of nowhere? Plane's wiring is aluminum.
Already have a solution for that: the maps in the bunker have markings for a munitions dump.
And precision-guided World War II munitions used copper wires to transfer guidance signals.
So, when the war was over, surplus munitions were buried; more often than not, in shallow pits.
Even if we know where they are, we're talking about unspent, live ammunition here.
You want safe, there's raft-building on the beach.
We're all about getting home.
Let's go.
Come.
Yeah.
Yeah.
TOBY: First she doesn't tell me about the single she recorded in Portugal, and then, she teams up with Walter over me? This is a bad start to a marriage.
I guess, at least she didn't call me a traitor.
A-Actually, I caused that.
I told him to just be a brutal brainiac to increase our chances of rescue.
Like, take no prisoners kind of thing.
He sure took to it quickly.
Yeah, well, Walter rarely does things half-ass.
CABE: Toby's been launching the rafts near the rocks up ahead, says it gives him protection from the surf.
The rafts need protection from his crappy designs.
What the? PAIGE: What's that? These are the letters I sent to Allie.
All of them.
I knew they wouldn't get to her.
TOBY: Cabe, you know what? I'm gonna help dig them up, and then we'll throw them back out there for you again.
Never give up hope, right, buddy? (bottle clinks) Hang on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? It's that Portuguese crap that Happy polished off.
TOBY: No, underneath it, this metal ridge here.
This is an oil drum.
Help me dig it up! PAIGE: How did an oil drum get here? RALPH: Here's another one.
Ooh.
There's another ridge sticking out.
(Cabe groaning) A wave must've knocked it off the tanker.
And the current washed them ashore.
Well, there's a couple of holes that we can patch up with tree sap and plane scraps, but these suckers are buoyant.
They can get over the breakers.
We just got to strap them to our new raft: the âMy Idea Is Better Than Walter's 1.
â (Scotty groaning loudly) So explain how this is gonna work.
Rock rolls into the basin, creates concussive shockwaves, identifies the munitions.
And how is it gonna do that? Whoa! WALTER: Oh.
Like that.
Now all we have to do is dig up the munitions casings and take out the copper wiring.
Well, there's live munitions down there.
How do you expect to do this? With caution.
(groans) Man, this is hard.
CABE: Anything worthwhile is hard.
No, I mean tearing up Happy's Cleopatra costume.
This was supposed to be for our, um, uh (quietly): frisky business.
I have a 200 IQ; do you really think I don't understand what you guys are talking about? Look, you might know what I'm talking about, but you're not gonna understand till you're 18.
How about we just stay focused on getting this thing shipshape for now? TOBY: You're right.
Once this is on its maiden voyage, we can find help, and then I can spend the rest of my life rubbing O'Brien's smug nose it in.
All right! Done! Last drum's tied on, now we just got to get that radio.
WALTER: Toby is gonna be quite annoyed when our plan succeeds over his.
Sure, 'cause that's what's important right now.
It is important.
We're in a situation where Scorpion should stick together and he drove us apart with his stupid raft.
His plan is all wet, literally and figuratively.
SCOTTY: And you're the smartest one of the group? Oh, yeah, we're done.
That's enough.
Okay? Yeah.
Happy, cut the wire.
Now, all we need is the radio.
Uh, Captain Kangaroo, the Charleston, Ziggy-- these are all things that Walter doesn't know, yet he's the genius of geniuses.
I don't think so.
WALTER: Oh.
Look who it is.
How'd your raft project turn out? All wet? It didn't work with us, why are you using it on them? TOBY: That's really clever.
You three finding that the, uh.
magnet idea isn't as attractive as you thought it might be? 'Cause magnets are supposed to attract? I think they they got it.
It just wasn't funny.
You're on my team.
I sincerely hope you haven't come here for the radio.
Walt, we need it to monitor the storms and locations of other ships.
You'll sink it.
Besides, we need it for its crank and some of its components to create a charge on the magnet.
No, no, you're gonna destroy it.
Hey, uh, where's the kid? Oh, he took a break to go pump some water.
Said he was tired of all the negativity.
SCOTTY: Huh.
Smart boy.
SYLVESTER: I, too, have grown weary of the acrimony that plagues what will surely be our last weeks.
Oh, great, Hagrid wants to chime in.
We've just come here for the radio, Sly.
No, we came here for the radio, Sly.
(Sylvester snaps) Neither of you may have it.
You're fighting is ruining what should be a sweet embrace of our journey to the next plane.
CABE: That's it.
What if I blow right by you and take it? Go ahead.
I foresaw your arrival.
The radio is well-hidden.
It appears Hagrid holds all the cards.
Though I believe your effort is fruitless, I have no right to interfere with your desire to leave the island.
Okay, good, then just give us the radio.
PAIGE: And fast, this place clearly hasn't been aired out in weeks.
It's not up to me.
So who do we ask, the lizard? SYLVESTER: Don't be ridiculous.
Mitchell's just an advisor.
SCOTTY: Oh, man, we are so far gone.
For me to decide, you both need to make your cases.
Dr.
Curtis.
You've heard of Kon-Tiki? Behold âKon-Take Me Home to Los Angeles.
â Previously known as the SS âMy Idea Is Better Than Walter's.
â And this is lightweight, sturdy.
This oil drum raft has the seaworthiness of a naval destroyer, but with-with none of the comforts.
But this sucker is solid, Sly.
WALTER: Oh, based on the engineering of a behaviorist? Might as well build it underwater, 'cause that's where it's headed.
SYLVESTER: But it isn't the design of a behaviorist, now is it, Toby? Huh? What are you blabbing about? You.
Turning my bunker into a house of lies.
I did the hydrodynamics by memory, but it should be seaworthy.
Oh, thank you, my cupcake.
I'm gonna have us home in no time.
Then, we can start off this honeymoon the right way, if you catch my drift.
Clear as day.
I mean physically, hmm? Daddy's wound up.
It was obvious the first time and I want to kick this marriage off, too, but if you call yourself Daddy again, we don't consummate ever.
(kisses) Et Tu? I just want to get off this rock.
A second option would increase the odds of success.
And Toby can't build a decent raft without help.
SYLVESTER: Walter.
Your plan, please.
The spire at the top of the island's mountain has an iron core.
I've salvaged copper wire.
All we need to create a magnetic thump is electricity.
So, if you'd just hand over the radio, Happy can dismantle it for the generator to power the electromagnet.
Hmm.
Sounds like a plan.
But, how exactly did you get the rope to ascend the iron spire? It was woven from the curtain cords from the plane's wreckage.
You wove it? Or someone else? Excellent.
Tensile strength of sailing hemp.
Well done, my little Not now.
I want out of here by any means necessary.
Understood.
Walter, something else that needs attention.
What we started back in Kovelsky's storage closet? I really want to finish that.
Mama's a little pent up.
These people have lost their minds.
You were spying on us.
TOBY: Paige, we are nothing without loyalty! Can it, shrink.
I don't care about this dumb contest.
I just want us all to survive.
Well, we certainly won't if we're on the âSS Sharkfoodâ.
You want a magnetic thump? I can give you one you won't forget, okay? Hey, you guys, you guys.
You know what, Sylvester, just make your decision.
I got it.
Given the pitch of the iron spire, there is no way Walter could scale it with the wire and the radio.
His plan, though theoretically sound, would flop.
Ah! We sail with the tide! SYLVESTER: Yes, if you like the idea of drowning in two days.
You could make it to the shipping lane, but once the monsoons hit, your boat is toast.
(laughs) Because you both insisted on working separately, you've developed plans that are guaranteed to fail.
So, until you can agree to cooperate no one gets the radio.
Cabe, grab him.
With pleasure.
TOBY: Give us the damn radio! Mutiny! Mutiny! WALTER: Hey! Hey! The radio or I eat Mitchell.
No! He is an excellent source of protein and I am starting to lose muscle mass, so three, two, one Fine, fine.
I hid it in the base of a tree.
I'll take you to it.
Oh.
Look at his eyes.
He's terrified.
Boy, you dumped that EQ like a hot rock.
I like it.
(moans) Guys.
We got a problem here.
Where's the crank? The radio's useless without it.
What are you trying to pull? I swear, this is where I hid it.
Thief! Absconder! Ralph! What about him? He didn't leave to go pump water.
Yesterday, he helped me search for good hiding places.
This was one of them.
But why would he take it? I don't know, but if he accidentally compromises that generator, there is no magnetic signal.
Or communication with the raft.
Enough.
Everyone split up and find him.
Let's go.
Ralph! PAIGE: Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph? Ralph? Ralph! Yeah, he's not here.
Copper wire's missing.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Ralph must've taken it to the spire.
He's trying to reenact my plan.
Yeah, but if the peak to the spire is too steep for you, Ralph would know there's no way he could climb it.
If that is true, he's not going to the spire.
He's going to the beach.
Let's go, let's go! Walter.
Walt? Walter, what's happening? Ralph is going after Toby's oil drums.
Now, the steel drums contain chromium, which is magnetic.
Ralph's gonna use them in place of the spire.
Seems like an easier way to put your plan in action.
Why isn't it a good thing? It will create a magnetic pulse, but since the chromium levels in the drums are low, Ralph will have to compensate by building a much larger charge, which could cause the electromagnet to explode.
Oh, God.
(electricity crackling) HAPPY: Oh, man.
I know what he's doing and I think it could explode.
Stop, kid! Kid, you okay? Uh-huh.
(shouts) (Ralph screams) Ralph! PAIGE: Ralph! Ralph! Come on! Hurry, we have to dig! Everybody, get digging! Uh, not everyone, just Cabe and Paige.
The rest of us sweep up what they excavate.
We need help.
Too much weight in the sand and it will cave in further.
So, Sly, get behind me.
You two, stay there.
I'm coming, Ralph.
PAIGE: Oh, come on.
Where are they?! HAPPY: Paige isn't the strongest.
You or Sly should be digging.
Right now she could lift a Mack Truck off that kid.
I'm sure as hell not gonna tell her to stop.
Come on, Cabe.
I see his hand! He's moving.
Okay, everyone, get ready to pull Paige.
Come on.
Come on! Come on! Okay.
Paige, dig around Ralph's shoulders.
Yell when your hands are underneath his arms! Okay.
Almost there.
I'm coming, Ralph! (grunts) Got him.
Ready? Okay, pull now.
One, two, three.
(Walter shouting) WALTER: He's breathing.
HAPPY: We got to get Scotty.
TOBY: Sly, let's go.
Oh.
Are you okay? Sweetheart.
CABE: I got him! (grunts) (sand sliding) Every time Cabe removes sand, more falls in.
I can't keep it off him! Oh, God.
(grunting) You had a water bucket on the raft? Over there! Getting nowhere fast! Walt, bucket! Here.
No matter what I do, it keeps coming down on him.
Cabe, dig as hard as you can for three seconds and then get out of the way.
CABE: Three, two, one! You all right? You all right in there? SCOTTY: Yeah.
I can breathe, but the sand is crushing my chest! Bucket will give us enough time to excavate around him, so the sand won't cover his mouth and nose, but we got to hurry! CABE: All right.
Wait a minute.
I got under his arms! I've got him! (Scotty groaning) (Scotty coughs) (coughs) That was a lot of force on your chest, Scotty.
Are you okay? Uh, yeah.
Thank you.
(groans) Hey.
I know you're upset because you feel you aren't there for your child, but you were there for mine today.
Thank you.
Yeah.
What were you thinking, Ralph? You were all like fighting children.
Neither of the plans was gonna work independently.
I had to do what I could to save Scorpion.
We were dopes.
We were.
Well, do we know if it worked? Did the magnetic pulse go off? Walter, check your watch.
Oh.
Wait, it stopped.
That means the magnetic pulse froze its movement.
The plane could be here anytime.
Or never.
Sly.
You're right, I'm done with the negativity.
Great, so we have the fire and âSOSâ dug in the sand.
Any other ideas how we can get a signal to the plane? Anyone? Penny for your thoughts.
Pennies? Wait, wait, wait, that's it.
The Scottish wedding pennies that Cabe gave Toby and Happy.
Another gift we didn't register for.
WALTER: Right, so, if we combine zinc oxide from the rusted munitions with the copper shavings from the pennies and then we light it on fire, it will burn very brightly.
I have a steel file in my tool bag to get the rust off.
Everyone else can shave the pennies using volcanic rocks.
We'll combine the zinc oxide and copper into the SOS until it burns like a neon sign.
Guys, about how long do you estimate it will take us to shave down a hundred pennies? With all of us working, at least an hour.
But we don't have an hour.
Listen.
(plane engine buzzing) A plane! How did a plane get here so fast? Well, whatever research station that picked up on the magnetic disturbance must have diverted a monsoon-tracking plane that was already in the area.
Shh.
(plane engine buzzing) That engine's a small prop flying at a high altitude.
SYLVESTER: Well, it's not looking for people.
It's here to collect data.
Our only hope is to signal it.
There's no way we can shave a hundred pennies by hand into dust before that plane gets here.
It's getting louder.
Well, we could've pulverized those pennies if one of you knuckleheads got us the one present I really wanted on that registry, the one thing I hinted at 14 times! The six-speed industrial juicer? With titanium blades.
I've been hiding it.
Okay, get it.
Cabe and I will grab munitions scrap for the zinc oxide.
HAPPY: And batteries.
(plane engine buzzing) Uh, everyone strip their cell phones and laptops.
I need to goose that juicer.
Let's go.
Hurry, we need another battery.
Okay, here you go.
(groans) Okay.
Congratulations.
I got the coins and Happy's file! Ooh.
That also makes soup.
The plane is nearly above us.
So we have what, seconds? The plane will make three loops over the island to get magnetic readings.
If we can't get the signal up before that we're dust.
WALTER: Got the rest of the ammo shells! We're gonna need Happy's file.
Yeah, coming at you.
It's working.
Uh, it's got power, but no clue if it can chew pennies.
Okay, guys, this is gonna sound like a T.
Rex eating a car, so plug your ears.
(pennies grinding) (pennies grinding) (loud grinding) We got copper flakes! The plane is making its second turn! I hate to break it to you, but we're not gonna have enough time to fill all three of these letters.
Just fill in the âSâ! Hopefully this pilot is smart enough to know that a flaming âSâ isn't a natural phenomenon.
(grinding continues) The thing's gonna blow.
Just a little more.
Ugh! That'll have to do.
(grinding stops) The plane's making its third loop! Happy, hurry! Done! TOBY: Hey, it's âSâ for Scorpion.
Our team.
A team that never should be divided, no matter how bad things get.
Agreed.
Double agreed.
(plane engine buzzing) (plane engine receding) (sighs) He didn't see us.
Well, I'm thinking of a word that starts with an âS.
â Yeah, and I bet that word isn't âsaved.
â (sighs) It is not.
Well, I have something to say.
Even though this didn't work out, I am so proud of all of us.
We came together to save Ralph and-and Scotty, and to make this signal with virtually no time.
And that is what Scorpion is all about.
So, no matter how long we have to stay here, as long as we are family, we are gonna be okay.
(claps hands) (plane engine buzzing) The plane's coming back! (all cheering) Oh, thank God, I couldn't stand another minute in this hellhole.
(all cheering) CABE: Hey! He tipped his wing at us, he saw us! (laughs) CABE: Yeah! (all cheering) (whoops) (all cheering, laughing) SYLVESTER: Let this be a lesson to you, dear reader.
No man is an island no genius either.
(door opens) (chuckles) (door closes) I don't care how many people want to interview us.
We just got back a few hours ago.
We're exhausted; we don't want to be paraded around on TV.
That's our position.
(phone beeps) Vultures.
TOBY: Walt, Cabe, Sly, you guys got to check this out.
Happy's past is about to come back to haunt her.
SYLVESTER: This is what you spent your first two hours back in civilization doing? Yeah, I've been obsessed since she told me about it.
And I, Sherlock Holmes, discovered that her name in Portugal was not Happy, it was âFeliz.
â So, âHappâ" in Portuguese.
Must have taken hours.
I haven't watched it yet, so if it gets racy, shield your eyes.
Amigo amigvel? (pop music playing) Voce e meu amigo amigvel Eu gosto de voce ate o fim Voce e meu amigo amigvel Eu gosto de voce ate o fim (music stops) CABE: Um catchy.
SYLVESTER: I don't know any Portuguese, but I do know some Spanish, and that sounded like âyou're my friendly, friendly friendâ? âI like you until the end.
â And then it repeats itself, like, 400 times.
I found a mathematical formula for their dance tracks.
It's syncopated nonsense with a quarter-beat back-track and auto-tune.
Then I wrote repetitive, mindless lyrics, and a few weeks later, I had royalties coming in.
I was hard up on cash.
So, now you know.
As we have discussed, I have a past.
I know.
I accept it.
Um, I only have, um one question.
Um Do I still have the flamingo dress? (whispers): Back of my closet.
(claps hands) Uh, we're gone.
Uh, two weeks, off the grid.
Don't call.
Don't write.
Love you.
Bye.
HAPPY: Bye, Paige.
Bye, Ralph.
PAIGE: Wait.
Where are they going? To be friendly, friendly friends.
But I got everyone's favorite meals.
Kovelsky's brisket for Toby.
(phone rings) And steak for Cabe.
Fermented fish for Walter, which I can't believe you actually asked for fish.
(phone rings) Uh, I will dig in in a moment.
Hello? Ralph, you ready to go? Where you guys off to? I got a notice.
The mayor of West Altadenia had me declared legally dead, so we're going to City Hall to bring me back to life.
The paperwork requires the brainpower of two geniuses working all night.
By the way, I kept something for you.
My note to Allie.
I thought you'd want to give it to her in person, rather than wave-mail.
Sorry for being such a jerk about that.
We were all under a lot of stress.
You know, I'm actually nervous about seeing her.
She's gonna be landing in three hours.
The lady booked a flight home from her sister's the second she found out you were still alive.
You have nothing to be scared of.
Oh, my God! Ah! What the hell? Oh (laughs) It was just a a dust bunny.
I thought it was a spider.
(chuckles) It's good to have the old Sly back.
(chuckles) Ralph, we're out of here.
I'll give you a lift.
Bye, Mom.
See you tomorrow.
Hey Thanks for watching him.
(chuckles) That is wonderful news.
Yeah, congratulations.
Yes, please, send a photo.
Bye.
That was Scotty.
He and his family are great.
He was actually holding his daughter while we talked.
That's nice.
All's well that ends well.
So, we are alone.
I'm concerned.
Okay.
On the island, you told me it didn't matter if my EQ dropped, so long as I was able to figure out a way for us to survive and it helped.
But I am worried that it might have dropped and stayed there.
I mean, I I threatened to eat Sylvester's friend.
You've had a lot of fits and starts with EQ, but you've always seemed to be on a forward path.
You know, my overwhelming emotion right now is that I I feel Well, a little sick to my stomach.
Mmm, do you have a bottle of wine upstairs? Uh, someone gave it to us after a-a job.
I have no idea if it's really any good or not.
Uh, I-I don't even know what that means.
Seems kind of subjective, doesn't it? You pour us a glass.
I'll be right up.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
We've waited a long time for this.
Buckle up, nerd.
The government of French Polynesia needs help setting up their underwater wave-powered generators.
They're willing to fly us to Tahiti.
(plane rattling) We've lost power.
Buckle up and brace yourselves; we're going down! SYLVESTER: If rescuers don't find us, we don't find a fresh water source, we'll be dead in three days.
You know, my wife is due in three weeks.
I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.
Portugal? You didn't know Happy used to live there? Oh, me neither.
I only learned the language so I could record my single.
Hey, Walt, have you seen Sly? He's still in the bunker.
And I think he's kind of losing his mind.
What's that, Mitchell? We can't eat Cabe.
That'd be crazy.
SYLVESTER: I write this journal in hopes someone learns of our fate, because I believe the tale will never be told by any of us.
You might think that crashing onto a deserted island would cause despondency and panic.
But the truth is, early on, things were far from bleak.
CABE: Ugh, this is gonna take forever.
We do not have forever.
We got two days worth of bottled water, one soda and no options.
We need water.
It'll make our march to the grave less painful.
You've become a real ray of sunshine, you know that? CABE: I still don't know how this contraption's gonna work.
WALTER: It's simple science.
The wind will cause this turbine from the plane to spin, pushing air down into the hole that you're digging.
HAPPY: We'll put in a reservoir made from fuselage plastics that we melt and shape.
As the air cools underground, we get condensation.
The reservoir fills up with water that we then pump up through the oxygen mask tubes.
Uh, hey, man, don't look at me.
The only two people I understand on this island are you and Paige.
We're basically just making water out of thin air.
Oh, is that it? Okay, well, here's the first aid kit that you wanted.
And, you guys, I would love to help out with the physical labor, but Uh, uh-- you just rest.
Ah, here we go.
20 milliliter and 30 milliliter plastic syringes, perfect for homemade hand pumps.
And with the humidity of the region, we should be able to get up to 13 gallons per day.
With you guys, I have no reason not to believe it.
Let's get this done.
SYLVESTER: Despite the obstacles, there was optimism.
Cleaner than L.
A.
tap water.
Try it.
(laughs softly) It's amazing.
You are amazing.
CABE: Uh Some of us dug, you know.
And designed the pump.
Well, I am sure you all worked up an appetite.
I've got fresh coconut meat and catch of the day.
TOBY: It's good brain food.
Omega-3s.
Yeah, made with fresh sea salt and coconut oil.
I can't tell you how much we all appreciate this.
Well, I couldn't have done it without the fishing rods you made.
Oh, well, that's one of the benefits of growing up broke in Biloxi.
Aw, thank you.
If you want fish, you got to make your own rod.
Paige, may I have a squeeze of lime in my water? Of course.
My inevitable scurvy thanks you.
Be positive.
I am.
Positive we're all gonna die.
SYLVESTER: Despite my conviction, everyone tried to contribute to the cause.
Toby provided medical care.
Well, wound's fresh, but it's healing nicely.
Nurse, aloe? Keep putting this on, three times a day, and no strenuous activity.
Come on.
I feel like I got to earn my keep.
You earned it when you landed a plane that was running on a sports drink.
(chuckles) You know, it's just, uh my baby must've been born by now.
Not being there for him or her, like my father wasn't there for me, is something I swore I'd never let happen to my child.
I just want to feel useful to someone.
It's not your fault.
CABE: Doc! Physics class is over.
It's time for Ralph's botany lesson.
TOBY: Keep resting.
Chin up, okay? Got to go.
SYLVESTER: Though in vain, I am proud of the efforts my friends all made.
Ralph's education continued unabated.
Some tried to maintain a sense of routine.
Smooth as a beauty queen's legs.
This aloe can do it all.
I still don't get why you and Walt insist on shaving.
What, you got a big job interview coming up? Eh, you can make fun.
But the more we cling to civilization, the more likely we are to remain civilized.
SYLVESTER: Though remaining civilized was the goal (grunts) some still indulged their animal instincts.
No privacy on this damn island.
Can't believe we're finally getting a minute alone.
A minute's all I need.
RALPH: Hey, guys, what are you doing? CABE: Sorry about that.
We're just looking to grab a couple coconuts.
Me, too.
(bird squawks) I hate it here.
SYLVESTER: Every effort was made to get off this isle.
It doesn't look airworthy.
Well, the plane's blankets are a cheap polyester blend, big enough to cover the bamboo frame, and light enough to rise from the hot air.
Now, I have taped a note inside with our exact coordinates.
It's a low probability, but I believe it has a shot.
Pass me that.
Great.
Yeah.
Amazing.
SYLVESTER: Every mode of transportation was explored.
Does not look seaworthy.
Ah, that's just 'cause you're a perfectionist engineer.
We don't need to win a regatta, we just got to get out over those breakers into the shipping lanes so we can intercept passing vessels, and then we'll be spotted.
(imitates pirate): Argh, a fine vessel she'll be.
Oh, crap.
SYLVESTER: The repeated failures started taking its toll on morale.
Hey.
I ever tell you guys about the time I flew in a hail storm off the coast of Maine, no radar? Twice.
Well, I guess I have no more interesting stories to tell, then.
Did I miss the interesting ones? That was uncalled for.
Sorry, Scotty, I'm just tired and grumpy.
And a little cold.
Oh? Your man burnt up your blankets.
As opposed to them getting waterlogged on your raft? At least my misstep didn't result in important resources burning up.
Misstep? Is that a euphemism for abject failure? Whatever.
This is our snuggle party and you're not invited.
Speaking of snuggling, are we ever gonna get some time alone? Sadly, I doubt it.
Hey, this group togetherness is great and all, but we're newlyweds.
Two's company, eight's a crowd.
I know, but what can we do? SYLVESTER: And it was the most basic human need that eventually led to the destruction of our island paradise-- food.
Oh, wow.
Fuselage filet.
This is my favorite.
You have a complaint? No.
I just really hope this is made with coconut oil and sea salt.
That'd be such a wonderful surprise.
Paige, could I have a squeeze of lime in my HAPPY: You've been a bit of a jerk lately, you know that? Just been eating the same thing for the past What the hell? Why are you wearing that? Time to deliver presents.
My clothes are soaked in saltwater.
That was supposed to be for our honeymoon.
We are on our honeymoon.
That was meant for our alone time.
You want alone time? You got it.
SYLVESTER: If, in addition to this journal, you've found a small skeleton in an elf costume, you now know why.
After the dinner incident, things just got more tense.
But some desperately held onto hope.
(sighs) (birds squawking) For that bottle to reach Allie, it would have to get down to the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, get swept up into the Benguela, caught in the South Equatorial stream, switch to the North stream, somehow find its way to the Gulf Stream and hope that some Florida fisherman found it and mailed it to her.
And if I know my Florida fishermen, he'd probably just keep it.
Sly, I've been meaning to tell you something.
Yes? You suck.
You're a downer, and everyone's sick of you.
I don't disagree.
I think I'll start spending more of my time in the bunker.
Don't forget to write.
Sure.
I'll put it in a bottle.
You'll get it a week from never.
SYLVESTER: I admit I was being contentious, but I knew to distance myself.
Others who remained in the group broke from societal norms.
Paige, I'm thinking the rules of civilization are beginning to break down.
You're telling me.
(loincloth flapping) What, the loincloth? Oh, come on, it's a deserted island, comfort's king.
Well, leg down, your highness.
I can see the crown jewels.
Oh.
Look, my point is, as society regresses, the populace reverts to the law of Neanderthals.
That means that Scotty or Cabe will soon try to assert dominance.
And with Scotty's injury and Cabe's advanced age, I do not know how that's gonna play out.
You don't say? I do say.
You know, I'm gonna go talk to Walter.
That makes a lot of sense.
Toby is making absolutely no sense.
He thinks Scotty and Cabe are gonna battle it out for some type of supremacy on the island.
Sly is hiding in a bunker, Happy is running around like an elf.
People are cracking, Walter, and you need to do something about it.
What can I do? Forget about everything I ever taught you, about sensitivity, feelings.
Let your EQ drop to zero and take charge, piss everyone off.
Call them stupid; whatever's necessary to get everyone's head in the game and working on legitimate ways to get off this island.
Have you seen the size of those damn jungle parrots? They are drawn to Ralph, and I am not gonna let some neon bird eat my son.
That's it.
That's the solution.
Parrots? No, being drawn to something, like magnets.
I can get us home.
A giant magnet? WALTER: Yes.
If we build one big enough, it can create a tiny disturbance in the Earth's magnetic field, which is only a millionth of a Tesla.
Now, a variation in that magnetic field will be noticeable.
By whom? There are 140 research stations around the world that constantly monitor the Earth's magnetic field: government agencies, universities.
Now, a giant magnet can create a tiny disturbance in the Earth's magnetic field; it will be detected by one of those stations and they will send a research plane to investigate.
How long will it take to build? CABE: If it's longer than a few days, it'll take us into monsoon season.
Spent a lot of time in the Pacific with the Corps.
Some brutal storms headed our way.
TOBY: When that happens, the fish are gonna migrate to deeper waters and they will be harder to catch.
Not to mention, this island is almost out of coconuts.
WALTER: Which is why it's now or never.
We need to get to work on that magnet immediately.
No, that's why we need to build a raft, get into the shipping lanes and intercept passing vessels.
Going onto the high seas with one of your crappy rafts is suicide.
Starving to death is suicide, and I am making good progress with my raft.
Not to mention, I have the world's smartest engineer helping me build the âGuaranteed Success 5.
â No you won't; I'm with Walt.
His plan could work.
What kind of wife are you? The kind that wants to live.
WALTER: That's excellent.
Now, Happy can help Cabe locate the iron Yeah, I'm, uh I'm gonna go with Toby.
He could use someone with a nautical background.
That's where I could be of most help.
WALTER: Fine.
Don't want your assistance.
Happy and Paige can work together.
Not if I'm working on the raft.
What? If you take the time to build the magnet and fail, then we'll be stuck in the middle of monsoon season.
And then, getting on that raft won't be an option.
And then, we'll starve.
Traitor.
Excuse me? Turncoat.
Recreant.
(gasps) SCOTTY: Walt, listen, with my injuries, I won't be too much help in the open ocean, so, uh I'll help you with the magnet, okay? Sorry, Toby.
Big deal, barely know you.
Okay, so I suggest that we move to higher ground where we'll build our device.
The cave over the ridge should make a good home.
Let's go, yeah? A few weeks into marriage and we're already separating.
Thank you, Walter.
SYLVESTER: And so, Scorpion is a team divided.
The stress is palpable.
The only way I've been able to remotely keep my sanity is by writing in this journ Son of a Scorpion 3x25 Maroon 8 Home sweet home.
I guess we should set up shop.
Later.
I want us focused on nothing but the magnet for now.
Okay, so, we will need iron, copper wire and electricity.
Iron should not be difficult.
The island is volcanic, so it has an iron magma core.
Those big rock spires on the north side of the jungle are cooled magma, pure iron.
Smart.
So we will need to wrap the copper wire around one of those spires.
SCOTTY: Okay, where are we gonna get copper wire from in the middle of nowhere? Plane's wiring is aluminum.
Already have a solution for that: the maps in the bunker have markings for a munitions dump.
And precision-guided World War II munitions used copper wires to transfer guidance signals.
So, when the war was over, surplus munitions were buried; more often than not, in shallow pits.
Even if we know where they are, we're talking about unspent, live ammunition here.
You want safe, there's raft-building on the beach.
We're all about getting home.
Let's go.
Come.
Yeah.
Yeah.
TOBY: First she doesn't tell me about the single she recorded in Portugal, and then, she teams up with Walter over me? This is a bad start to a marriage.
I guess, at least she didn't call me a traitor.
A-Actually, I caused that.
I told him to just be a brutal brainiac to increase our chances of rescue.
Like, take no prisoners kind of thing.
He sure took to it quickly.
Yeah, well, Walter rarely does things half-ass.
CABE: Toby's been launching the rafts near the rocks up ahead, says it gives him protection from the surf.
The rafts need protection from his crappy designs.
What the? PAIGE: What's that? These are the letters I sent to Allie.
All of them.
I knew they wouldn't get to her.
TOBY: Cabe, you know what? I'm gonna help dig them up, and then we'll throw them back out there for you again.
Never give up hope, right, buddy? (bottle clinks) Hang on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? It's that Portuguese crap that Happy polished off.
TOBY: No, underneath it, this metal ridge here.
This is an oil drum.
Help me dig it up! PAIGE: How did an oil drum get here? RALPH: Here's another one.
Ooh.
There's another ridge sticking out.
(Cabe groaning) A wave must've knocked it off the tanker.
And the current washed them ashore.
Well, there's a couple of holes that we can patch up with tree sap and plane scraps, but these suckers are buoyant.
They can get over the breakers.
We just got to strap them to our new raft: the âMy Idea Is Better Than Walter's 1.
â (Scotty groaning loudly) So explain how this is gonna work.
Rock rolls into the basin, creates concussive shockwaves, identifies the munitions.
And how is it gonna do that? Whoa! WALTER: Oh.
Like that.
Now all we have to do is dig up the munitions casings and take out the copper wiring.
Well, there's live munitions down there.
How do you expect to do this? With caution.
(groans) Man, this is hard.
CABE: Anything worthwhile is hard.
No, I mean tearing up Happy's Cleopatra costume.
This was supposed to be for our, um, uh (quietly): frisky business.
I have a 200 IQ; do you really think I don't understand what you guys are talking about? Look, you might know what I'm talking about, but you're not gonna understand till you're 18.
How about we just stay focused on getting this thing shipshape for now? TOBY: You're right.
Once this is on its maiden voyage, we can find help, and then I can spend the rest of my life rubbing O'Brien's smug nose it in.
All right! Done! Last drum's tied on, now we just got to get that radio.
WALTER: Toby is gonna be quite annoyed when our plan succeeds over his.
Sure, 'cause that's what's important right now.
It is important.
We're in a situation where Scorpion should stick together and he drove us apart with his stupid raft.
His plan is all wet, literally and figuratively.
SCOTTY: And you're the smartest one of the group? Oh, yeah, we're done.
That's enough.
Okay? Yeah.
Happy, cut the wire.
Now, all we need is the radio.
Uh, Captain Kangaroo, the Charleston, Ziggy-- these are all things that Walter doesn't know, yet he's the genius of geniuses.
I don't think so.
WALTER: Oh.
Look who it is.
How'd your raft project turn out? All wet? It didn't work with us, why are you using it on them? TOBY: That's really clever.
You three finding that the, uh.
magnet idea isn't as attractive as you thought it might be? 'Cause magnets are supposed to attract? I think they they got it.
It just wasn't funny.
You're on my team.
I sincerely hope you haven't come here for the radio.
Walt, we need it to monitor the storms and locations of other ships.
You'll sink it.
Besides, we need it for its crank and some of its components to create a charge on the magnet.
No, no, you're gonna destroy it.
Hey, uh, where's the kid? Oh, he took a break to go pump some water.
Said he was tired of all the negativity.
SCOTTY: Huh.
Smart boy.
SYLVESTER: I, too, have grown weary of the acrimony that plagues what will surely be our last weeks.
Oh, great, Hagrid wants to chime in.
We've just come here for the radio, Sly.
No, we came here for the radio, Sly.
(Sylvester snaps) Neither of you may have it.
You're fighting is ruining what should be a sweet embrace of our journey to the next plane.
CABE: That's it.
What if I blow right by you and take it? Go ahead.
I foresaw your arrival.
The radio is well-hidden.
It appears Hagrid holds all the cards.
Though I believe your effort is fruitless, I have no right to interfere with your desire to leave the island.
Okay, good, then just give us the radio.
PAIGE: And fast, this place clearly hasn't been aired out in weeks.
It's not up to me.
So who do we ask, the lizard? SYLVESTER: Don't be ridiculous.
Mitchell's just an advisor.
SCOTTY: Oh, man, we are so far gone.
For me to decide, you both need to make your cases.
Dr.
Curtis.
You've heard of Kon-Tiki? Behold âKon-Take Me Home to Los Angeles.
â Previously known as the SS âMy Idea Is Better Than Walter's.
â And this is lightweight, sturdy.
This oil drum raft has the seaworthiness of a naval destroyer, but with-with none of the comforts.
But this sucker is solid, Sly.
WALTER: Oh, based on the engineering of a behaviorist? Might as well build it underwater, 'cause that's where it's headed.
SYLVESTER: But it isn't the design of a behaviorist, now is it, Toby? Huh? What are you blabbing about? You.
Turning my bunker into a house of lies.
I did the hydrodynamics by memory, but it should be seaworthy.
Oh, thank you, my cupcake.
I'm gonna have us home in no time.
Then, we can start off this honeymoon the right way, if you catch my drift.
Clear as day.
I mean physically, hmm? Daddy's wound up.
It was obvious the first time and I want to kick this marriage off, too, but if you call yourself Daddy again, we don't consummate ever.
(kisses) Et Tu? I just want to get off this rock.
A second option would increase the odds of success.
And Toby can't build a decent raft without help.
SYLVESTER: Walter.
Your plan, please.
The spire at the top of the island's mountain has an iron core.
I've salvaged copper wire.
All we need to create a magnetic thump is electricity.
So, if you'd just hand over the radio, Happy can dismantle it for the generator to power the electromagnet.
Hmm.
Sounds like a plan.
But, how exactly did you get the rope to ascend the iron spire? It was woven from the curtain cords from the plane's wreckage.
You wove it? Or someone else? Excellent.
Tensile strength of sailing hemp.
Well done, my little Not now.
I want out of here by any means necessary.
Understood.
Walter, something else that needs attention.
What we started back in Kovelsky's storage closet? I really want to finish that.
Mama's a little pent up.
These people have lost their minds.
You were spying on us.
TOBY: Paige, we are nothing without loyalty! Can it, shrink.
I don't care about this dumb contest.
I just want us all to survive.
Well, we certainly won't if we're on the âSS Sharkfoodâ.
You want a magnetic thump? I can give you one you won't forget, okay? Hey, you guys, you guys.
You know what, Sylvester, just make your decision.
I got it.
Given the pitch of the iron spire, there is no way Walter could scale it with the wire and the radio.
His plan, though theoretically sound, would flop.
Ah! We sail with the tide! SYLVESTER: Yes, if you like the idea of drowning in two days.
You could make it to the shipping lane, but once the monsoons hit, your boat is toast.
(laughs) Because you both insisted on working separately, you've developed plans that are guaranteed to fail.
So, until you can agree to cooperate no one gets the radio.
Cabe, grab him.
With pleasure.
TOBY: Give us the damn radio! Mutiny! Mutiny! WALTER: Hey! Hey! The radio or I eat Mitchell.
No! He is an excellent source of protein and I am starting to lose muscle mass, so three, two, one Fine, fine.
I hid it in the base of a tree.
I'll take you to it.
Oh.
Look at his eyes.
He's terrified.
Boy, you dumped that EQ like a hot rock.
I like it.
(moans) Guys.
We got a problem here.
Where's the crank? The radio's useless without it.
What are you trying to pull? I swear, this is where I hid it.
Thief! Absconder! Ralph! What about him? He didn't leave to go pump water.
Yesterday, he helped me search for good hiding places.
This was one of them.
But why would he take it? I don't know, but if he accidentally compromises that generator, there is no magnetic signal.
Or communication with the raft.
Enough.
Everyone split up and find him.
Let's go.
Ralph! PAIGE: Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph? Ralph? Ralph! Yeah, he's not here.
Copper wire's missing.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Ralph must've taken it to the spire.
He's trying to reenact my plan.
Yeah, but if the peak to the spire is too steep for you, Ralph would know there's no way he could climb it.
If that is true, he's not going to the spire.
He's going to the beach.
Let's go, let's go! Walter.
Walt? Walter, what's happening? Ralph is going after Toby's oil drums.
Now, the steel drums contain chromium, which is magnetic.
Ralph's gonna use them in place of the spire.
Seems like an easier way to put your plan in action.
Why isn't it a good thing? It will create a magnetic pulse, but since the chromium levels in the drums are low, Ralph will have to compensate by building a much larger charge, which could cause the electromagnet to explode.
Oh, God.
(electricity crackling) HAPPY: Oh, man.
I know what he's doing and I think it could explode.
Stop, kid! Kid, you okay? Uh-huh.
(shouts) (Ralph screams) Ralph! PAIGE: Ralph! Ralph! Come on! Hurry, we have to dig! Everybody, get digging! Uh, not everyone, just Cabe and Paige.
The rest of us sweep up what they excavate.
We need help.
Too much weight in the sand and it will cave in further.
So, Sly, get behind me.
You two, stay there.
I'm coming, Ralph.
PAIGE: Oh, come on.
Where are they?! HAPPY: Paige isn't the strongest.
You or Sly should be digging.
Right now she could lift a Mack Truck off that kid.
I'm sure as hell not gonna tell her to stop.
Come on, Cabe.
I see his hand! He's moving.
Okay, everyone, get ready to pull Paige.
Come on.
Come on! Come on! Okay.
Paige, dig around Ralph's shoulders.
Yell when your hands are underneath his arms! Okay.
Almost there.
I'm coming, Ralph! (grunts) Got him.
Ready? Okay, pull now.
One, two, three.
(Walter shouting) WALTER: He's breathing.
HAPPY: We got to get Scotty.
TOBY: Sly, let's go.
Oh.
Are you okay? Sweetheart.
CABE: I got him! (grunts) (sand sliding) Every time Cabe removes sand, more falls in.
I can't keep it off him! Oh, God.
(grunting) You had a water bucket on the raft? Over there! Getting nowhere fast! Walt, bucket! Here.
No matter what I do, it keeps coming down on him.
Cabe, dig as hard as you can for three seconds and then get out of the way.
CABE: Three, two, one! You all right? You all right in there? SCOTTY: Yeah.
I can breathe, but the sand is crushing my chest! Bucket will give us enough time to excavate around him, so the sand won't cover his mouth and nose, but we got to hurry! CABE: All right.
Wait a minute.
I got under his arms! I've got him! (Scotty groaning) (Scotty coughs) (coughs) That was a lot of force on your chest, Scotty.
Are you okay? Uh, yeah.
Thank you.
(groans) Hey.
I know you're upset because you feel you aren't there for your child, but you were there for mine today.
Thank you.
Yeah.
What were you thinking, Ralph? You were all like fighting children.
Neither of the plans was gonna work independently.
I had to do what I could to save Scorpion.
We were dopes.
We were.
Well, do we know if it worked? Did the magnetic pulse go off? Walter, check your watch.
Oh.
Wait, it stopped.
That means the magnetic pulse froze its movement.
The plane could be here anytime.
Or never.
Sly.
You're right, I'm done with the negativity.
Great, so we have the fire and âSOSâ dug in the sand.
Any other ideas how we can get a signal to the plane? Anyone? Penny for your thoughts.
Pennies? Wait, wait, wait, that's it.
The Scottish wedding pennies that Cabe gave Toby and Happy.
Another gift we didn't register for.
WALTER: Right, so, if we combine zinc oxide from the rusted munitions with the copper shavings from the pennies and then we light it on fire, it will burn very brightly.
I have a steel file in my tool bag to get the rust off.
Everyone else can shave the pennies using volcanic rocks.
We'll combine the zinc oxide and copper into the SOS until it burns like a neon sign.
Guys, about how long do you estimate it will take us to shave down a hundred pennies? With all of us working, at least an hour.
But we don't have an hour.
Listen.
(plane engine buzzing) A plane! How did a plane get here so fast? Well, whatever research station that picked up on the magnetic disturbance must have diverted a monsoon-tracking plane that was already in the area.
Shh.
(plane engine buzzing) That engine's a small prop flying at a high altitude.
SYLVESTER: Well, it's not looking for people.
It's here to collect data.
Our only hope is to signal it.
There's no way we can shave a hundred pennies by hand into dust before that plane gets here.
It's getting louder.
Well, we could've pulverized those pennies if one of you knuckleheads got us the one present I really wanted on that registry, the one thing I hinted at 14 times! The six-speed industrial juicer? With titanium blades.
I've been hiding it.
Okay, get it.
Cabe and I will grab munitions scrap for the zinc oxide.
HAPPY: And batteries.
(plane engine buzzing) Uh, everyone strip their cell phones and laptops.
I need to goose that juicer.
Let's go.
Hurry, we need another battery.
Okay, here you go.
(groans) Okay.
Congratulations.
I got the coins and Happy's file! Ooh.
That also makes soup.
The plane is nearly above us.
So we have what, seconds? The plane will make three loops over the island to get magnetic readings.
If we can't get the signal up before that we're dust.
WALTER: Got the rest of the ammo shells! We're gonna need Happy's file.
Yeah, coming at you.
It's working.
Uh, it's got power, but no clue if it can chew pennies.
Okay, guys, this is gonna sound like a T.
Rex eating a car, so plug your ears.
(pennies grinding) (pennies grinding) (loud grinding) We got copper flakes! The plane is making its second turn! I hate to break it to you, but we're not gonna have enough time to fill all three of these letters.
Just fill in the âSâ! Hopefully this pilot is smart enough to know that a flaming âSâ isn't a natural phenomenon.
(grinding continues) The thing's gonna blow.
Just a little more.
Ugh! That'll have to do.
(grinding stops) The plane's making its third loop! Happy, hurry! Done! TOBY: Hey, it's âSâ for Scorpion.
Our team.
A team that never should be divided, no matter how bad things get.
Agreed.
Double agreed.
(plane engine buzzing) (plane engine receding) (sighs) He didn't see us.
Well, I'm thinking of a word that starts with an âS.
â Yeah, and I bet that word isn't âsaved.
â (sighs) It is not.
Well, I have something to say.
Even though this didn't work out, I am so proud of all of us.
We came together to save Ralph and-and Scotty, and to make this signal with virtually no time.
And that is what Scorpion is all about.
So, no matter how long we have to stay here, as long as we are family, we are gonna be okay.
(claps hands) (plane engine buzzing) The plane's coming back! (all cheering) Oh, thank God, I couldn't stand another minute in this hellhole.
(all cheering) CABE: Hey! He tipped his wing at us, he saw us! (laughs) CABE: Yeah! (all cheering) (whoops) (all cheering, laughing) SYLVESTER: Let this be a lesson to you, dear reader.
No man is an island no genius either.
(door opens) (chuckles) (door closes) I don't care how many people want to interview us.
We just got back a few hours ago.
We're exhausted; we don't want to be paraded around on TV.
That's our position.
(phone beeps) Vultures.
TOBY: Walt, Cabe, Sly, you guys got to check this out.
Happy's past is about to come back to haunt her.
SYLVESTER: This is what you spent your first two hours back in civilization doing? Yeah, I've been obsessed since she told me about it.
And I, Sherlock Holmes, discovered that her name in Portugal was not Happy, it was âFeliz.
â So, âHappâ" in Portuguese.
Must have taken hours.
I haven't watched it yet, so if it gets racy, shield your eyes.
Amigo amigvel? (pop music playing) Voce e meu amigo amigvel Eu gosto de voce ate o fim Voce e meu amigo amigvel Eu gosto de voce ate o fim (music stops) CABE: Um catchy.
SYLVESTER: I don't know any Portuguese, but I do know some Spanish, and that sounded like âyou're my friendly, friendly friendâ? âI like you until the end.
â And then it repeats itself, like, 400 times.
I found a mathematical formula for their dance tracks.
It's syncopated nonsense with a quarter-beat back-track and auto-tune.
Then I wrote repetitive, mindless lyrics, and a few weeks later, I had royalties coming in.
I was hard up on cash.
So, now you know.
As we have discussed, I have a past.
I know.
I accept it.
Um, I only have, um one question.
Um Do I still have the flamingo dress? (whispers): Back of my closet.
(claps hands) Uh, we're gone.
Uh, two weeks, off the grid.
Don't call.
Don't write.
Love you.
Bye.
HAPPY: Bye, Paige.
Bye, Ralph.
PAIGE: Wait.
Where are they going? To be friendly, friendly friends.
But I got everyone's favorite meals.
Kovelsky's brisket for Toby.
(phone rings) And steak for Cabe.
Fermented fish for Walter, which I can't believe you actually asked for fish.
(phone rings) Uh, I will dig in in a moment.
Hello? Ralph, you ready to go? Where you guys off to? I got a notice.
The mayor of West Altadenia had me declared legally dead, so we're going to City Hall to bring me back to life.
The paperwork requires the brainpower of two geniuses working all night.
By the way, I kept something for you.
My note to Allie.
I thought you'd want to give it to her in person, rather than wave-mail.
Sorry for being such a jerk about that.
We were all under a lot of stress.
You know, I'm actually nervous about seeing her.
She's gonna be landing in three hours.
The lady booked a flight home from her sister's the second she found out you were still alive.
You have nothing to be scared of.
Oh, my God! Ah! What the hell? Oh (laughs) It was just a a dust bunny.
I thought it was a spider.
(chuckles) It's good to have the old Sly back.
(chuckles) Ralph, we're out of here.
I'll give you a lift.
Bye, Mom.
See you tomorrow.
Hey Thanks for watching him.
(chuckles) That is wonderful news.
Yeah, congratulations.
Yes, please, send a photo.
Bye.
That was Scotty.
He and his family are great.
He was actually holding his daughter while we talked.
That's nice.
All's well that ends well.
So, we are alone.
I'm concerned.
Okay.
On the island, you told me it didn't matter if my EQ dropped, so long as I was able to figure out a way for us to survive and it helped.
But I am worried that it might have dropped and stayed there.
I mean, I I threatened to eat Sylvester's friend.
You've had a lot of fits and starts with EQ, but you've always seemed to be on a forward path.
You know, my overwhelming emotion right now is that I I feel Well, a little sick to my stomach.
Mmm, do you have a bottle of wine upstairs? Uh, someone gave it to us after a-a job.
I have no idea if it's really any good or not.
Uh, I-I don't even know what that means.
Seems kind of subjective, doesn't it? You pour us a glass.
I'll be right up.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
We've waited a long time for this.
Buckle up, nerd.